Ducking for cover like a Melbourne Storm Assistant Coach, in training for the next mascot race, keeping an eye on his tail after seeing Reece Walsh lurking around the barn, plus refusing to play most positions and play in reserve grade, it’s time for some Rugby League tips and opinion from The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey. The NRL Donkey provides his NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 24 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
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The NRL Donkey’s NRL Round 24 Weekly Opinion
Another week, another ideas shower from head honcho NRL man Peter V’landys, one of a golden hue I would suggest.
The man of feathers Peter V’landys has floated the idea of the NRL introducing a third v fourth playoff with an eye on filling the Grand Final weekend with as much rugby league as possible, and not for the first time the boss of NRL has suggested something revolutionary, or at least revolutionary for the NRL, because most of his ideas are stolen from other sports. And you do have to admire him for trying something new. We should all give it a go as it’s only new.
It’s not a bad idea based on other sports, because at most World Cups the 3rd v 4th playoff is the best game of the tournament. But good luck getting rugby league players to want to play. They’d say it’d be kind of like playing for the Wests Tigers over the last few months. Or not in Adam Doueihi’s case. Annoying and a waste of time. Playing the game that is, not the Tigers “halfback”. And V’landys said he’d throw some money at them, but if it is anything like the pittance they offer up for the pre-season competition then that’s a hard sell.
How about instead of money, Peter V’landys will offer the winners a post-season holiday in Las Vegas for seven nights with all meals and accommodation covered and $2,000 spending money with all partners and children allowed. Maybe the losers have to do NRL charity work and promote the PNG Chiefs team to double down on the carrot v stick. Although, given their fanatic supporters and wads of tax-free cash, PNG don’t need much promoting. Just a shame the Chiefs comes a decade too late, because the NRL missed out on a potential superstar in Willie Minoga. Hopefully there are many Willie Minogas to come. As long as the NRL bosses don’t go to over the top with signing big NRL names. This donkey and many PNG rugby league loving folk want a decent PNG born and bred names. What’s the point otherwise?
But you can’t tell me a player wouldn’t be playing his heart out for a Vegas trip paid for by the NRL. Although the NRL might have to microchip some of the players first. So 3rd v 4th would be on the Friday night before Grand Final with the winners whisked to Vegas on a midnight flight the same night.
But why stop at 3rd v 4th, apart from the fact that no one really wants to play in it? Or watch it? Or hear about it?
The NRL lucked into a showcase game a few seasons back with the Spoon Bowl between Parramatta and Wests Tigers. If you can’t recall it was the last round of the season and the sides were last and second last and the points difference close enough that ethe side who lost would be last. Of course the Tigers lost because it was a game that mattered, but it did set a great precedent that the NRL should have followed up on. And that should be revived every season on the Thursday night of Grand Final weekend. Which would be sort-of punishment for both side underperforming sides that they given they have to train for an additional three weeks unlike other slightly less mediocre teams. The Spoon Bowl has many benefits, as it will encourage sides to play better in the latter half of the season when making the top eight looks unlikely.
So Thursday is covered with Spoon Bowl, Friday is 3rd v 4th, which leaves Saturday for an international festival of league. With sides from all over the Pacific and other teams like Lebanon looking to get international march-fit, it’s the perfect opportunity to have three or four games to fill up the weekend. The highlight would the return leg of the PNG v Prime Minister’s 13 match. Why let Port Moresby have all the fun. And if we’re serious about promoting PNG rugby league, bring them to Australia.
Maybe Man O Feathers is onto something, with potentially ten games over the weekend making it a real festival of rugby league. And I’m sure if they get it done this year and send the highlights to Vatican City, the Pope will alter his proposed tour next year to include rugby league as part of his tour, potentially getting rugby lwague players involved in some a religious gear.
Before dreaming too much about all that, there’s still four weeks of this season and more for the final to go. So the usual expert tips and opinion is offered, and best ignored.
The NRL Donkey’s NRL Round 24 Weekly Expert Tips
THU 8PM – PENRITH v ROOSTERS @ CommBank Stadium
A genuine top two battle which could end up determining the Minor Premiership, a race that looked signed, sealed and delivered to Penrith a few months ago. Both sides have their detractors, mostly people who would prefer the Wahs to win the Minor Premiership and who could blame them. But with the Roosters terrible record v Penrith and the Panthers terrible record on a Thursday it’s hard to know what stats to believe. Of course there’s no argument in which Slats to believe. None. Never. Ever.
Penrith by 2
FRI 6PM – MANLY v DOLPHINS
So is Fozball officially dead, and he just becomes a regular run-of-the-mill coach that loses and gets regular abuse? If so timely for the Dolphins who can make a late play for the top four. And it would be a full circle of life, as Foran’s first game in charge was ruining the Dolphins first game of two in Redcliffe for the seasons by flogging the home side and it looked like the Dolphins were on course to score 0 points for the first time. Luckily the Dolphins did it properly a few rounds later losing 66-0 to Cronulla at Redcliffe. The concern is that the Dolphins have conceded exactly 58 points on both visits to Brookvale, which is what they looked like they were going to concede against Brisbane on Saturday. What isn’t a concern is the return of Ray Stone. He is back after a week of injured with a neck injury. Which I immediately thought was some kind of new tattoo he added that went wrong. It wouldn’t be because of pain, because it’s Ray Stone, but maybe doctor’s orders, which is also hard to believe that Ray Stone would listen to doctors. He’d prescribe himself 45 needles and a punch in the stomach from each team mate after training, drink some aftershave and move on. But he’s back, right where the fans need and want him.
Dolphins by 20
FRI 8PM – BULLDOGS v SOUTH SYDNEY @ Accor Stadium
Fox Sports teased pictures of Trell, but sadly not in time for this weekend it seems. Shame as his return would have made the game more interesting.
Bulldogs by 4
SAT 3PM – CRONULLA v CANBERRA
I do wonder that with finals out and less to play for whether Ricky Stuart will get more annoyed, or less annoyed because he’s accepted his fate. Hopefully not. Cronulla got their choke out of their system nice and early by losing to the Dragons last weekend, so are now primed to disappoint in the third week of the finals later in the season. With any luck they can win the third v fourth playoff.
Canberra by 6
SAT 5:30PM – PARRAMATTA v NORTH QLD
After losing by 70 odd points then winning by 20 odd the following week after stealing the opposition’s jersey, which is a really good trick if you think about, unless the other team steals yours back, who knows what the Cowboys will do this week. Parramatta’s comeback against Souths last weekend provides enough momentum to beat North Queensland.
Parramatta by 20
SAT 7:30PM – BRISBANE v WAHS
This will be some kind of atmosphere, with many thousands of Wahs fans hoping for more misery for the Broncos. Not that Wahs fans are bad people, they aren’t, or I don’t know any, but I’m sure they’d prefer their team to win over Brisbane. Talking of prefer, I’m sure Michale Maguire would already have been given the arse if there was a better coach around. Well, one that isn’t Kevin Walters. I’m sure Mr Tallis would love to see Mr Walters back in charge, and get his plaque put back on whatever wall it was on. He might not be so angry on NRL 360. For But only a side in near complete disarray can throw away a 24-0 lead, despite Mam magic avier Willison.
Wahs by 30
SUN 2PM – NEWCASTLE v GOLD COAST
The only way the Gold Coast will win this is if they bring back the Chargers replica jersey. Otherwise they are just playing to beat the Broncos on the ladder. Which would probably work for them.
Newcastle by 34
SUN 4PM – WESTS TIGERS v ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA @ CommBank Stadium
What a surprise this one is a Sunday 4pm Channel Nein special. Hard to believe this is a prime timeslot if any broadcasting company thought this game at this stage of the season was going to be any more meaningful than a trial game. And at least you can win money in a trial game. The only thing winning here is the Dragons potentially going on a run to avoid the wooden spoon, which will be a good B side to the rest of the competition. One could imagine Benji being in some real trouble as coach if they do the un-double against St George Illawarra.
St George Illawarra by 8
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