Ducking for cover like a Melbourne Storm assistant coach, only slightly less corrupt than a powerful sporting body, attempting to sell himself to PNG to get some of that sweet sweet Government-Free moolah, asking the nearest president to overturn his ban at the local RSL for a drunken walk through a fountain, conceding less points than the Cowboys, and playing out of position for the good of the team, it’s time for some Rugby League tips and opinion from The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey. The NRL Donkey provides his NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 22 Review & Ratings on the weekend of rugby league that was.
This NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 22 Review & Ratings is all new and offers up a second serving of Donkey rugby league in a week. Why would the world need twice the NRL Donkey? First of all, how rude. Secondly, because no one delivers rugby league with such an honest, almost churlish attitude, not afraid to tell rugby league what he thinks. Sort of like Pauline Hanson but with none of the racism. The NRL Donkey hates everything and everyone equally. And now he gives it with both barrels – and both ends of a rugby league weekend in the NRL, with a review with a match by match thoughts and a preview with all the opinion and more.
Related – more serious Rugby League gear
- NRL Round 22 NRL Team of the Week
- NRL Round 22 NRL Weekly Stats & One Minute Match Reviews
- NRL Round 21 NRL NRL Donkey Preview and Rant
NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 22 Review
Here’s the NRL Donkey’s thoughts and mini rants on all of the games from the previous weekend.
THURSDAY 8PM – NORTH QUEENSLAND 12 SYDNEY ROOSTERS 82
A historic pantsing for the North Queensland Cowboys, and according to the stats boffins here now hold the largest win margin and second largest loss margin. One more try conceded and they could have had both. The looked capable of at least another. The Roosters did take their foot off the pedal in the second half only scoring six tries to one. The Cowboys also include themselves in the growing list of teams who can’t win the competition due to conceding 50 or more points.
FRIDAY 6PM – ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA 22 DOLPHINS 28
The Dolphins had to work harder than they probably wanted, but at least it’s a win. The Dragons aren’t playing too bad for a side that is last and have only won two games. They almost don’t deserve last. Talk about deserving, how much did Ray Stone hate scoring his match winning try. Ok, so it wasn’t the last try scored, and not technically a match winner, but without it the Dolphins might not have won. Proving to be the ultimate team man, he’ll do things other players won’t do without complaining – sitting on the bench an entire game, playing limited minutes if that’s all that happens, having a decoy run to actual hit-up ratio of 9:1, having hundreds of needles to allow himself to play in pain for his side. He’ll even do things he hates, like being in the right place at the right time and scoring tries. I’d say the Dolphins will have to play better if they want to beat the Broncos in next weekend’s Battle of Brisbane, but they probably won’t have to.
FRIDAY 8PM – MELBOURNE 22 BULLDOGS 36
Probably an end of an era with the Storm likely missing the eight and rumours swirling that Billy Slater will take over as coach. Whilst that won’t help them become any more likeable to neutrals, and that’s saying something as Craig Bellamy is not the most loveable person on earth, maybe a chance is what they need. Players, assistant coaches and glaziers can only live in fear for so long.
SATURDAY 3PM – GOLD COAST 6 WAHS 42
Gold Coast losing their away home game to the Warriors at least means the Wahs Grand Final tilt is back on track. And most neutrals can appreciate that.
SATURDAY 5:30PM – PENRITH 42 CANBERRA 18
No offence to Penrith but this game was kind of a let down. Not only was it not as good as last season’s last minute thriller, but the Penrith performance putting away a team in decent form gave us all the reminder that they’ll probably win the competition with ease. On another note, every team, and yes that includes you Broncos, should be made to take a game to the country every year.
SATURDAY 7:30PM – BRISBANE 6 NEWCASTLE 30
So we can officially put a fork in the Broncos and the meekest premiership defence in the NRL era. They could blame injuries, but then again, some of their best performances were hard-fought wins when they had many players out. The only player in the entire club with an enhanced reputation from 2026 is Xavier Willison. The rest have spent their season drink driving, playing on one year too many, believing their own hype, and whatever words you can describe the dross served up by Reece Walsh this season. Not that I care, it’s the Broncos after all. But at least some kudos to the Knights, that is some kind of turnaround. Maybe Justin Holbrook can coach and his lack of winning was more Gold Coast based.
SUNDAY 2PM – CRONULLA 32 SOUTH SYDNEY 16
Cronulla continue to operate under the radar despite competition leading form. They are a genuine premiership threat as long as they can avoid playing Penrith and Roosters, as they have lost 13 in a row away to those sides combined. Thankfully neither of those two teams are going to finish first and second…..As for Souths, their inconsistency is quite consistent.
SUNDAY 4PM – WESTS TIGERS 13 PARRAMATTA 16
Not sure what was more sh!t about this game. The Wests Tigers or the game itself.
AI Greg’s Best AI Round 22 Pic
Ahh, no one does pictorial rugby league like AI Gemini and Greg Norman. Here’s this weekend’s best pictorial descriptions of the best of the action.
COWBOYS OPEN UP FOR THE ROOSTERS
A LITTLE OFF THE TOP PLEASE REECE
GREG LOVES COB(BO)
NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 22 Ratings
The Gurgler website is famed for the many, many stats and visuals on offer, and the NRL Donkey was feeling a little left out.
But of course the NRL Donkey doesn’t want to celebrate the good, his cynicism won’t allow it, so he has found two ways to celebrate the mediocre. The first is taking The Gurgler’s all-new Player Ratings system, where stats are used to determine a player score out of ten, and flipping it’s on it’s head by taking the worst scores in each position. Secondly, he has devised a way of seeing which players was the worst contributor, coming up with a points system for all manners of errors, penalties, missed tackles, and gave it the subtle title of the Sh!t Play Inde.
Plus AI Greg is here for his best of from the weekend.
NRL Donkey’s Stats – Not Quite Team of the Week
Here are the lowest ranked players per position to create the Not Quite Team of the Week.
NRL Donkey’s Stats – Sh!t Play Index
Compiling missed tackles, penalties, errors on a sliding scale, here are the top 10 most “influential” players this weekend.
