Ducking for cover like a Melbourne Storm assistant coach, only slightly less corrupt than a powerful sporting body, attempting to sell himself to PNG to get some of that sweet sweet Ta-Free moolah, asking the nearest president to overturn his ban at the local RSL for a drunken walk through a fountain, and playing out of position for the good of the team, it’s time for some Rugby League tips and opinion from The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey. The NRL Donkey provides his NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 20 Review & Ratings on the weekend of rugby league that was.
This NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 20 Review & Ratings is all new and offers up a second serving of Donkey rugby league in a week. Why would the world need twice the NRL Donkey? First of all, how rude. Secondly, because no one delivers rugby league with such an honest, almost churlish attitude, not afraid to tell rugby league what he thinks. Sort of like Pauline Hanson but with none of the racism. The NRL Donkey hates everything and everyone equally. And now he gives it with both barrels – and both ends of a rugby league weekend in the NRL, with a review with a match by match thoughts and a preview with all the opinion and more.
Related – more serious Rugby League gear
NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 20 Review
Here’s the NRL Donkey’s thoughts and mini rants on all of the games from the previous weekend.
THU 8PM – PENRITH 12 BRISBANE 14
It’s amazing how melodramatic the Broncos fans and Fox League are. Well not Fox League, they are Clickbait addicts whose last words on their death bed will be some kind of crap that eventuated in NRL 360. But barely a week ago the Broncos were the most busted arse club in the NRL with more problems than any other club, aside from the Wests Tigers, but now after one win, their first since late April, they can go on a run and make the finals and win the premiership. Granted it was a good win, granted it was against Penrith away, granted it was mostly Xavier “Man Mountain Universal Soldier” Willison’s effort with a little help from Reece Walsh, but they are on the same amount of points as the Wests Tigers, and they at least have a bye left. One way of guaranteeing two points. But no one is talking up the Tigers for finals, and rightly so. Are the Broncos that much better? Well for one week yes. And for many weeks to come, probably also yes. For Penrith it was a bad combination of playing a Qld side and a game on a Thursday. Both are stats that are becoming issues for the Panthers.
FRI 6PM – CRONULLA 20 NEWCASTLE 18
It was one of those typical Cronulla wins. A game on in a sh!t timeslot that I only watched the mini for and wondered in which week of the finals they will get knocked out.
FRI 8PM – ROOSTERS 14 MELBOURNE 6
It’s not often that the Melbourne Storm are on the wrong side of the NRL officiating, the Storm are not quite Argentina-FIFA, but they do appear to get more favourable officiating. Maybe that’s because the NRL are scared of Craig Bellamy and who could blame them. The Storm look set to miss the top eight for the first time since they cheated themselves with boats, and they did ok without their star halves, but Tyran Wishart is no Cameron Munster or Jahrome Hughes. Mainly because he has a different name, but you do wonder what he will do in Perth. Rugby League wise that is. For the Roosters having the Storm out of the top eight eliminates one of the team they usually lose to, if only they can avoid Penrith. Which can’t really happen if they want to win the comp.
SAT 3PM – CANBERRA 34 SOUTH SYDNEY 24
Typical game from Souths for 2026. Forget how to tackle in the first half, give up a sizeable lead, then play just good enough and try and outscore the opposition in the second half to not get in too much trouble with coach Wayne Bennett in the second half. It’s a pretty foolhardy tactics and one which will probably see them give up a top eight spot. Unless Cody Walker can kick them into shape instead of the opposition. Poor Hudson Young though.
SAT 5:30PM – WAHS 20 ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA 12
I didn’t realise just how much the NRL hates the Dragons after a classic Bunker night in Auckland. That’s not to say that the Warriors wouldn’t have won anyway, but gee it was hard on the Dragons. In fact saying the NRL Bunker was capable of being bad on purpose is being way too generous. If this were football, or soccer as it will be re-named after the World Cup is over, you’d suggest a FIFA arrangement for the Wahs. And I for one wouldn’t be against that. Nor would anyone who truly loves rugby league. Which makes me think who the Wahs equivalent of Lionel Messi is.
SAT 7:30PM – BULLDOGS 32 WESTS TIGERS 0
God the Tigers are sh!t. As punch able as Jaeman Salmon is, maybe the Tigers should have slapped themselves even harder after being kept to nil and let the occasional points-shy Bulldogs put 32 on them. I do wonder when Salmon will get on the rugby league player boxing circuit. Hopefully soon, Australia needs someone to cheers against. Ricky Stuart could officiate, and punch.
SUN 2PM – GOLD COAST 38 MANLY 32
How often do you see successful Interim coaches being signed on big contracts way too early? Lots of time in football aka soccer in England and Europe. The Fozball revolution is staring at reality if you are unable to beat the Titans, so many other sides are doing it. Good win for the Gold Coast who are playing decent, they almost beat Melbourne the week before but are still towards the bottom of the ladder. One suggestion is adding Warwick Capper to the coaching staff.
SUN 4PM – DOLPHINS 36 NORTH QUEENSLAND 16
The Dolphins responded well to a 66-0 loss, stinging criticism from the fans, and one individual responding to every Facebook post with a request/demand to re-sign Ray Stone. Don’t let this week’s result fool you, just because Ray Stone wasn’t on field that his presence wasn’t on the field either. But a bye net week helps towards first final berth where anything can happen. If any side can win from outside the top eight it is the Dolphins at their best. And their best includes Ray Stone. Always.
AI Greg’s Best AI Round 20 Pic
Ahh, no one does pictorial rugby league like AI Gemini and Greg Norman. Here’s this weekend’s best.
THE SALMON SLAPPING FESTIVAL
RIDE THE BRONCOS WAVE
NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 20 Ratings
The Gurgler website is famed for the many, many stats and visuals on offer, and the NRL Donkey was feeling a little left out.
But of course the NRL Donkey doesn’t want to celebrate the good, his cynicism won’t allow it, so he has found two ways to celebrate the mediocre. The first is taking The Gurgler’s all-new Player Ratings system, where stats are used to determine a player score out of ten, and flipping it’s on it’s head by taking the worst scores in each position. Secondly, he has devised a way of seeing which players was the worst contributor, coming up with a points system for all manners of errors, penalties, missed tackles, and gave it the subtle title of the Sh!t Play Inde.
Plus AI Greg is here for his best of from the weekend.
NRL Donkey’s Stats – Not Quite Team of the Week
Here are the lowest ranked players per position to create the Not Quite Team of the Week.
NRL Donkey’s Stats – Sh!t Play Index
Compiling missed tackles, penalties, errors on a sliding scale, here are the top 10 most “influential” players this weekend.
