November 9, 2024, 6:58 am

Australia v Sri Lanka Test Wash Up – Time for Spin Bowling Boot Camp

The Australia v Sri Lanka Test completed last week proved once again how bad the Aussies are against spin. It also throws up the debate on how a side can be number 1 when it is so inept on one surface.

Just three days was all it took for us to be shown up badly. And it was bad. However there didn’t seem to be too much outrage at the performance. Not enough anyway.

We’ve been here before, not only with spin on the sub continent, but with reverse swing in England.

On the sub continent Australia have lost their last 8 in a row. Going back to 2008/2009 against India the record is poor at best.

17 Tests – 1 Win – 12 Losses – 1 Series Win (1-0 from 3 games)

How do we fix it so the result from the Australia v Sri Lanka Test can’t happen again?

Experts say drop some players. Add in Shaun Marsh (for his 103rd attempt at a Test Career). Shaun Marsh is the answer? Please.

The Gurgler says different.

Australian batsmen have been spoiled with car park flat pitches and moderate bowling attacks in Australia. Too much meaningless T20 and even more meaningless One Day series. As soon as another nation does something with the ball like South Africa or England in England, we are found out.

Of course more Sheffield Shield would be one and a most welcomed answer. However there’s another idea at the top of our wishlist.

It’s time for a Spin Bowling Boot Camp.

First Cricket Australia needs to find the driest place in Australia. According to our pissweak research from various websites is Coober Pedy. The town in outback South Australia is the perfect location for Australian Test batting renaissance, as it will get conditions sort of similar to the sub continent pitches.

We first send Kevin Mitchell Jnr to the South Australian hotspot to create a batch of 8 side by side wickets, all of which are designed to varying degree of wear as expected on the sub continent.

Then we assemble the finest spin bowlers from Australia and around the world.

We have 24 spinners on our books, all of which will be raring to go. From Australia A, Sheffield Shield, Club Cricket and a trial held amongst those in detention centre whose origins come from cricketing nations.

All will be put on 3 x 3 hours shifts of bowling each day and all are expected to do the full two week.

Who would lead such a posse? Why Brad Hogg of course. Is there a person on earth who would love to bowl for eight hours stints than Brad Hogg.

On top of the regular rotation, we’ll introduce a special guest from the past to send down a few.

Peter Taylor will open and close the 2 week training turn-fest. Others like Peter Sleep, Gavin Robertson, Paul Jackson, Tim Zoehrer and Tim May will all be flown in to assist.

Talking about flying, that is one form of transport the Aussies will not be allowed to use.

As punishment for the poor performance in Sri Lanka, the Australian team will forced to get to Coober Pedy via rail on the Ghan.

The extra time will give all the players time to think and reflect about how they play spin better. They need it.

 

Kaaps Lochehttps://www.thegurgler.com
Kaaps doesn’t sleep much, and has a 60inch full HD TV and Foxtel, therefore watches more television than most. is also very strange and has a slightly different outlook on life, so comes up with a lot of rubbish that he thinks is funny and usually isn’t. Out of sympathy, we publish his stuff from time to time. So prepare your sympathy laughs and put that lovely drawing on the fridge for Kaaps.

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