He may have been unsuccessful in his two previous votes but happily for Peter Dutton he won his third – The Gurgler website Jerk of the Month for August 2018.
Much like his efforts in Canberra in August, it was a close result, and he is surrounded by a bunch of equally deserving jerks.
Unlike the Liberal leadership spill, the Australian people, well a handful of them who read this website anyway, finally get to have their say. Ahead of the next federal election where the people will no doubt boot Liberals out of office, and Dutton out of Dickson. Taking the dick out of the Dickson.
Funnily enough, one of the runners up to Peter Dutton was Tony Abbott, another key buffoon in the latest coup.
As ever, two nurseries of Jerk – Channel Nein Rugby League and Tennis, were well presented again with the usual suspects of Gus Gould, Tomic and Kyrgios polling strongly.
But in the end Peter Dutton got what he deserved. Not the Prime Minister’s job, but a throroughly warranted Jerk of the Month. Happily as a monthly winner, Peter Dutton will be an automatic inclusion into Jerk of the Year for 2018, where he will no doubt poll strongly again.
PETER DUTTON – AUGUST 2018 JERK OF THE MONTH
Why was he nominated?
For starting the process that saw another Australian Prime Minister toppled.
How he ever thought anyone wanted him as PM shows just how out of touch Canberra is with the rest of Australia.
Some people in his electorate gave him an early poll on how much they wanted him as PM by trashing his office.
Jerk Rating: 9/10 – with as punchable a face in Australian politics, he has thoroughly earned the title of Jerk.
HOW YOU VOTED…
THE 2018 JERK OF THE MONTH HONOUR BOARD
All of the below are automatically in the running for Jerk of the Year.
Jan 2018 – David Warner
Feb 2018 – Barnaby Joyce, Anthony Mundine, Bernard Tomic
Mar 2018 – Bernard Tomic
April 2018 – Bill Cosby and MKR
May 2018 – Cricket Australia, Delta Goodrem, Todd Greenberg, Meghan Markle’s Dad
June 2018 – Optus Sport, World Cup Divers & Gus Gould
July 2018 – Neymar, Channel Seven & Todd Greenberg
WHY THE OTHER JERKS OF THE MONTH NOMINATED WERE CHOSEN…
TONY ABBOTT
Why were they nominated?
For his involvement in the above attempted coup.
And years of moaning about whatever Rupert Murdoch wants from the back bench.
Jerk Rating: 9/10 – Speedo wearing fool.
ALL AUSTRALIAN POLITICIANS
Why were they nominated?
For being the selfish C’s they are.
Putting their own politics ahead of everything else.
Sure, not every politician can be a Man/Woman of the People like our favourite politician Charles Strunk, but the ones in Canberra could pull their heads out of the arses long enough to stop getting rid of leaders.
Unless they join in our idea for an Annual Leadership Spill Gala Event that we have previously floated this week.
Jerk Rating: 10/10 – do your job.
GUS GOULD
Why were they nominated?
For his handling of the dumping of Anthony Griffin.
Sure Griffin probably should have been showed the door, but to do it the way he has was a disgrace. And hasn’t it helped the Panthers?
And his all year round arrogance.
And continued involvement in Channel Nein rugby league.
Won June 2018 Jerk of the Month already.
Jerk Rating: 9/10 – Consistently demanding nominations for Jerk of the Month polls..
JOHN HOPOATE
Why were they nominated?
The poster boy for rugby league jerk made it back into the headlines this month after receiving a 10 year ban from rugby league for his behaviour.
Threatening to smash a few people whilst playing in a Manly competition rugby league is a surefire way to get a nomination.
Although should be retrospectively nominated for his previous finger work.
Jerk Rating: 7/10 – A blast from the past of Jerkdom who couldn’t help himself.
ANDREW GAFF
Why were they nominated?
For smashing the face of an opponent with a cowards punch.
Sure, he only meant to smash him in the chest, but he’s still a worthy August 2018 Jerk of the Month nomination.
Jerk Rating: 2/10 – A one off nomination who we’ll probably never hear from again.
DONALD TRUMP
Why were they nominated?
Pencil this one in every month.
Usually never far from jerkdom, his twitter account alone every month earns him a nomination.
Here’s a link to some of his best from August.
Jerk Rating: 9.9/10 – As close as to the perfect Jerk you can get anywhere in the world
RICKY STUART
Why were they nominated?
For consistently blaming his inadequate results (potentially due to a lack of his ability to coach) on match officials.
Jerk Rating: 5/10 – Probably a nice man, but moans way too much.
SUNDAY NRL FOOTY SHOW
Why were they nominated?
For their disgraceful fat shaming of Dave Taylor on their Sunday wrap up segment.
Sure, the amount of weight Dave Taylor has put on since his prime is a point of passing interest, but not to be turned into a parody Gutsy Performance of the week.
Despite the cries of being horrified at the thought that someone thought they were fat shaming via twitter, rather than appearing to be genuinely sorry, it was as ordinary as one expects from Channel Nein.
We certainly wouldn’t expect a decent update about the Intrust Super Cup.
Jerk Rating: 9/10 – Expect nothing less from a Channel Nein rugby league production.
GILLON MCLACHLAN – AFL KILLER
Why were they nominated?
The AFL boss has been recently lampooned on the Roy and HG show for being a killer of the game of AFL, especially in Tasmania.
But the main reason for his nomination this month was due to his comments about the AFLW, which went down as well as could be imagined.
Nice to see the AFL trying to match the NRL for a change, instead of vice versa.
Jerk Rating: 5/10 – First time nominee, so benefit of doubt.
JOSE MOURINHO
Why were they nominated?
For continuing moaning as manager of Manchester United.
Crying poor about being in charge of the world’s richest sporting club’s side. Boo Hoo, you didn’t get to waste another 70 Million Pounds on a player you’ll be bullying within a season.
Actually, scratch that, he’ll be gone by Xmas.
Jerk Rating: 8/10 – a consistent performer in Jerk.
NICK KYRGIOS
Why were they nominated?
Because he is the epitome of the term Jerk.
This month he is nominated for his fine work in the following links.
Kyrgios on Tanking. The crowd hates Kyrgios.
And there’s still a US Open to go for September.
Jerk Rating: 10/10 – one of the main reasons for creating this award.
BERNARD TOMIC
Why were they nominated?
At least Kyrgios occasional tries to win games occasionally, Tomic the Tank Engine does not, and is a disgrace.
Not even a US Open berth is enough to dislodge the chip on the shoulder.
His latest effort against the Special K just another example of a pulled heartlige ruining his tennis career.
Jerk.
Jerk Rating: 10/10 – Epitome of Jerk. Why not play Tennis Jerk Bingo and enjoy his slide.
HELMUT MARKO
Why were they nominated?
Another one whose nomination has been a long time coming, from his years of being a special adviser at the Red Bull F1 team.
After years of his anti-Webber agenda, he has taken aim at Daniel Ricciardo’s decision to leave Red Bull. And he’s a Jerk.
Here’s his thoughts on Daniel Ricciardo leaving Red Bull.
Jerk Rating: 7/10 – Jerk to Webber, Jerk to Ricciardo, Jerk.
PAUL GALLEN
Why were they nominated?
For deciding to hog the ball for Cronulla for another year.
Jerk Rating: 7/10 – a consistent performer in Jerk.not as bad now he can’t moan about origin every year, but still a jerk.
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