Gurglervision – FTA TV Highlights

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October 6, 2014

Don’t let the blanket ads, Zip Cold/Water tap talk in the office or a Ray Warren endorsement fool you, there’s plenty to be enjoyed on FTA TV than Reality TV and the other assorted dross that the channels spend their money on.

As with anything on our website, we’re not about joining in on anything popular, we’re down at the other end of the pool championing the lesser known and the lesser liked servings available.

So we’ll take the hard work out of the TV Guide and highlight or favourites and all the sport on offer. Don’t be fooled that just because football season is over there’s no sport on.

BEST OF THE WEEK
FOOD DOUBLE – MAN FINDS FOOD + CHOW MASTER (Tues, 7Mate, 8:30)
Man vs Food man is back and has some friends along for the heart attack. Marvel at the amount of food on offer, heart defibrillator at the ready, your eyes may put on weight just watching.
BATHURST is a close second – not a better excuse to lounge it up all day on Sunday.

WORST OF THE WEEK
Take you pick: Big Brother with the most inane conversation in the galaxy or Dancing with the “Stars” that has too much Ricki Lee for our liking. Sure everyone will say “You don’t have to watch them”. Thanks for the advice. We won’t.

highlighter

MONDAY
7Mate 6:30pm SEINFELD – 2 hours worth
SBS 9:30pm LEGALLY BROWN
SBS2 10:15pm SOUTH PARK – Terrence / Phillip goodness.

TUESDAY
SBS2 6:30pm AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR – In Baltimore. Imagining some Wire locals having a go.
SBS 7:30pm THE SIXTIES – About TV, see what used to be funny and good.
7Mate 8:30pm FOOD DOUBLE – see best of the week
7Mate 9:30pm NEW FAMILY GUY
GO 9:30pm BLADE

WEDNESDAY
11 7:30pm SIMPSONS/FUTURAMA
7Mate 7:30pm DOOMSDAY PREPPERS – It’s easy to laugh at the lengths these people go to for the end of the world. If they get to tell us we told you so, TV will be the least of our worries.
ONE 9:30pm NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN

THURSDAY
SBS2 8:30pm NEW SOUTH PARK REPEAT – SP’s take on the GF craze
SBS2 9:00pm DRUNK HISTORY
SBS2 11:15pm MORE SOUTH PARK of course

FRIDAY
ABC 7:30pm FRIDAY NIGHT CRACK UP
ABC2 9:00pm MICALLEF’s MAD AS HELL
7Mate 9:30pm MONTY PHYTHON’s MEANING OF LIFE

SATURDAY
ABC2 10:30pm BREAKING BAD

SUNDAY
SBS2 9:30pm NEW NEW SOUTH PARK
ABC2 8:20pm RUNNING WITH THE BULLS – a self titled doc on the madness
11 7:30pm SIMPSONS / FUTURAMA

SPORTING HIGHLIGHTS
MON SBS 11pm FOOTBALL – THE WORLD GAME
MON ONE 11:30pm F1 – JAPANESE GP REPLAY
WED SBS2 7pm NETBALL – AUST V NZ
THU ONE 9:30pm GENERAL – THURSDAY NIGHT SPORTS SHOW
FRI CH7 12pm V8s – BATHURST PRACTICE
FRI GEM 1pm CRICKET – QLD V NSW
FRI SBS 6:30pm FOOTBALL – MELB VICTORY V WEST SYDNEY
FRI ONE 9:30pm BASKETBALL – NBL PERTH V NZ
SAT GEM 9:30am CRICKET – WA V TAS
SAT 7TWO 11:30am RACING
SAT CH7 1pm V8s – BATHURST
SAT SBS2 7pm NETBALL – AUST V NZ
SAT ONE 8:30pm F1 – RUSSIAN GP QUALIFYING
SUN 7MATE 1am V8s – SHANNON”S MOTORSPORT LEGENDS
SUN CH7 6am V8s – BATHURST
SUN GEM 9am CRICKET – VIC v NSW
SUN ONE 8:30pm F1 – RUSSIAN GP
SUN SBS2 10pm FOOTBALL – A LEAGUE HIGHLIGHTS

Quickfire Japanese GP tips

By

Max Layne

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October 5, 2014

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Due to souths grand final commitments please accept our quick tips.

Not one to back favorites, we’re banking and praying on rain and mercedes unreliability or drama.

Outside if the silver cars there’s plenty o value.

Vettel win $17

Button win/podium $151/$15.50

Kyvat top 6 $21

Kobayashi top 10 $67

Maldonaldo 1st out $12

Vergne 1st out $13

1st lap leader massa $23

Enjoy the rare daytime gp

Gurgler’s NRL Grand Final Preview

By

Kaaps Loche

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October 4, 2014

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So it has come to this, the last game of the NRL this season. We normally try to be reasonably impartial here at The Gurgler, but as a Souths fan who has not been alive for a premiership, one can forgive us if the coverage is a little one-sided.

To balance out the ledger, here is a song at Souths’ expense for your to sing along, and after the game if the title goes to Belmore and not Redfern.

The 12 Days of Souths Premierships.
In the 43 years since Souths last win, our true love gave to us….
12 Doomsday Predictions
11 World Cups of Football
10 Prime Ministers
9 Footy Show Logies
8 New Nissan Pulsars
7 New NRL Teams
6 Broncos Premierships
5 Wooden Spoons
4 Rooster Premierships
3 Iraq Conflicts
2 Club Mergers * does not include Northern Eagles
1 Tooheys Cup Win

So there's a lot of things that have happened since the last final/premiership. An entire generation (X) have remained cynical, and many believe it is a direct relationships to the lack of South premierships.

A lot has happened this year too. Halfway through the year a Bulldogs-Souths Grand Final looked like a decent chance of happening. However some patchy form from Souths, and some truly awful form for the Bulldogs made it look as likely as a cricketer hosting a football show. Hang on a minute…I guess unlikely (and unlikeable) things happens from time to time. Just like this final, unlikely though not unlikeable.

The NRL's two most passionate fans will certainly add more atmosphere than last year's final, in which the buzz around the ground only picked up when Roosters looked likely to win. And, yes I was there at last year's final, so I know. Some Souths fans were silly enough to buy tickets to last year's final in July and none this year.

So, if you're not a Souths or Bulldogs fans, why the hell should you care, and what can you do to make your Grand Final experience all the better? Beer, betting, and spite. We'll list all of the below for your consideration.

BEER – please see our NRL Grand Final drinking game in a previous article.
https://www.thegurgler.com/2014/09/29/nrl-grand-final-2014-drinking-game/

BETTING – Here's our best bets – not forgetting our Sports Weekly tips hauled in a nice $580-1 multi last week.

CLIVE CHURCHILL – Inglis ($5.50) or Sutton ($15)
LAST TRY SCORER – Sutton, Teo or any Burgess
1ST TRY SCORER SECOND HALF – Keery or Reynolds
SCORE PREDICTIONS
Souths 18-14
Souths 36-8
Souths 22-6
Souths 46-14
Souths 23-14
Souths 19-10
Souths 40-12
Souths 32-16

5 Reasons for Neutrals to Support Souths
– You still think Russell Crowe should have won an Oscar for A Beautiful Mind
– Your favourite colours are Red and/or Green
– You live on the Southside of your City/Town
– You feel sorry for long-suffering Souths fans
– You are not a Roosters or Bulldogs fan.

5 Reasons for Neutrals to Support Bulldogs
– You own a dog
– You think Russell Crows is a complete F***wit
– You enjoy the song Who Let The Dogs Out
– Your last name is or is related to a Hughes, Mortimer or Moore
– You support a team who hasn't won a premiership yet, or whose teams will be replaced by Souths as the longest to wait for a Premierships.

Anyway, enjoy the day, and don't forget the two lower grades on show (one and possibly the only thing the NRL beats the AFL for on Grand Final day), including the long overdue State Championship between QRL and NSWRL.

Sincere hopes you enjoy the "entertainment" on offer too. We've suggested some alternatives in our poll to the right.

Gurgler’s Week O Sport

By

Max Layne

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October 1, 2014

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Welcome to the NRL Grand Final edition of our weekly wrap of sport.

Let's start off with a couple of finally's. Souths have finally given their long suffering supporters some joy by making their first final in 43 years. And, even better The Gurgler's weekly super multi finally paid off. For those that missed it, we provided you with a $580-1 collect if you were brave enough. Here's the link from last week for proof.

Gurgler’s Week O Sport

Anyway enough bragging, no one is reading, onto the usual format.

SOUTH SYDNEY – As advised above the Rabbitohs have finally made another final, and in what style. They soundly beat their biggest rival on route to the big show. Let’s hope this run ends with another win and an end to the misery that is supporting Souths.

HAWTHORN – A most complete pantsing of Sydney in the Grand Final may have been a turn off for some, but for those betting on, supporting, or drinking with in our AFL GF Drinking Game, it was a triumphant afternoon. A deserved premiership, and another year left for Buddy. He has 8 more seasons left on his contract to do it.

BULLDOGS – won 2 of their last eight to crawl into the finals including a flogging by the Broncos. They have proved their toughness by winning all their knockout games and making the final.

AFL GRAND FINAL ENTERTAINMENT – Who doesn’t love Tom Jones. No doubt it will be better than the “popular US band” Train. Have a go at our alternative NRL entertainment poll.

RYDER CUP – Golf’s biggest team tournament was another beauty with the right result with Europe taking the chocolates.

SWANS – their many bandwagoners will fall off the wagon after failing to show up for the Grand Final. Sydney people will have to look for something else to be the trendiest sporting ticket in town. Maybe the premiership winning Rabbitohs.

THE NRL GRAND FINAL DAY – the AFL Grand Final has it all – traditional daytime kickoff, decent entertainment, 100,000 people in a stadium where you don’t abseiling equipment to get to your seat and more. But the AFL Grand Final only has one game. Some may argue they only need one. We love sport and the more the better, so we disagree.

Featuring on Sunday is the Under 20’s final in addition to the big show – the NRL final. Sandwiched in between is the State Championship between the Qld and NSW Cup winners. An idea that should have happened years ago is finally being played this weekend. Both sides, Northern Pride and Penrith have been the stand out in their competitions this year, but Penrith remain the hot favourite to take the inaugural prize. Maybe it’s the distance to Sydney from Cairns, or maybe it’s the suspensions and many punches that arose from the Qld Cup final.

JAPANESE GRAND PRIX – Completing the dream Sunday lineup is the Japanese GP sandwiched in amongst the League. Apart from being one of the best tracks on the calendar, it may provide an opportunity for a non Mercedes win, with Red Bull an outside chance. Although may need to rely more on Mercedes break downs or break ups to win.

After last week’s bonanza, we have yet another multi for your consideration.

GURGLER SUPER MULTI $220 for $1
SOUTHS to win NRL GF
NZ to win U/20 Final
NORTHERN PRIDE +13.5 point start.
Any RED BULL to win the Japanese GP
RORY McILLROY to beat Martin Kaymer head to head – Dunhill Links Golf
BORUSSIA MONCHENGLADBACH to beat Mainz
PSG to beat Monaco
LAZIO to beat Sassuolo
LEICESTER CITY to beat Burnley

NRL Rugby League Grand Final & Finals Series Non Drinking Game

By

Kaaps Loche

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September 29, 2014

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The NRL Finals for 2015 are here, and you’ve made it. After 26 of the hardest rounds of rugby league you deserve a treat. Why not indulge in a game within a game.

Follow our guide below to good times, perfect for the neutral and couldn’t-give-a-stuff alike. Or anyone looking to add a little more to their day than a footy game.

Given the problems associated with alcohol in the news these days, the days of the drinking game being a suitable pastime are long gone, and we certainly don’t like to recommend anything that will end is tsk-tsking on any morning news soap opera. We care about your well being and the problem of alcohol abuse in general. Drinking games are for a distant time of mid 20’s, and era of news with less social commentary and anything “going viral” and four or five governments ago when no one cared what people did.

Step 1 – Decide a punishment penalty – be it a 20 cent fine to a combined pool for all players and the person with the fewest penalties at the end scoops the pool, a 10 cent donation to your favourite charity, a giant horsebite slap on the leg with every penalty or how about having a bite of the world’s hottest corn chip with extra Frank’s Hot Sauce. Use your imagination.

If you decide to drink against our better wishes then a very cheap, generic beer. The Gurgler recommends MF Lager, or even better – Cleanskins. Why not add a little mystery to the shindig. The worse the beer, the bigger the punishment, and it’s all about punishing. You are mostly going to need at least half a carton per man. Mostly.

Step 2 – Choose a side to support and a seating apparatus that suits. We recommend and use “The Slothress” – a mattress pushed up against a wall or lounge into an L shape.

Step 3 – Deleted due to content that may offend.

Step 4 – Hand out the following punishments based on events during the game.

OPPOSITION TRY – 4 X PENALTY
OPPOSITION GOAL – 2 X PENALTY
YOUR TEAM ERROR – 1 X PENALTY
YOUR TEAM PENALTY – 1 X PENALTY
YOUR TEAM PLAYER ON REPORT – 2 X PENALTY
YOUR TEAM INTERCHANGES – 1 X PENALTY
* ALL PUNISHMENTS DOUBLE IN GOLDEN POINT

ADDITIONAL CHANNEL 9 PUNISHMENTS
1 x PENALTY TO ALL FOR THE FOLLOWING….
– ONE FOR EVERY MINUTE THE KICK OFF IS DELAYED UNTIL AFTER THE NRL ADVERTISED STARTING TIME
– GUS SAYS “WOW”
– ONE FOR ANYTIME THE GUS AND RAY DO THEIR OLD LADIES ARGUING ROUTINE
– AN AD FOR A CHANNEL SHOW POPS UP MID COVERAGE
– DOUBLE IF ANY OFTHE COMMENTATORS CLAIM TO LIKE IT
– ONE FOR ANY USE OF THE HIGHLY ANNOYING SPIDER CAM
– BRETT FINCH CONTRIBUTES ANYTHING USEFUL
– BRETT FINCH CONTRIBUTES ANYTHING
– USE OF THE TERM FAIRYTALE
– ANYTIME THERE IS A SILENCE AFTER ANYTHING WALLY LEWIS CONTRIBUTES

It’s all in good fun, and we recommend you try a non alcohol punishment. The Channel Nein penalties will have your Monday ruined in no time.

FTA TV Guide – Gurglervision

By

Kaaps Loche

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September 28, 2014

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Another week of idiot box on FTA lies ahead. According to 60 Minutes tonight, sitting down is the new danger to your health. So if you’re going to die earlier than planned let us ensure that you make the most of each day.

BEST OF THE WEEK
Thursday – 8:30pm – SBS2 – NEW SOUTH PARK – a repeat but SBS has finally cottoned on to showing a series before the only people who want to watch it have already downloaded it. Hang around for Drunk History after.

WORST OF THE WEEK
This Week – Seven – Dancing with the Stars – truly as bad as TV gets. Prepare for the hidden dance experts amongst you to appear. Join us for this week’s podcast for our thoughts of D grade clebs that missed out but shouldn’t.

INTERESTING OF THE WEEK
7MATE – FAMILY GUY SIMPSONS CROSSOVER – has been caned in the US, so now it’s our turn to sample.

BEST INFOMERCIALS CHANNEL SHOW
$1 Person CHEF

BEST OF THE REST
MONDAY
SBS – 7:30pm – Nerd City – METEOR STRIKES FIREBALLS FROM SPACE followed by REAL HISTORY OF SCI FI
GO – 8pm – TOP GEAR
ELEVEN – 8pm – SIMPSONS – featuring Rodney Dangerfield
TEN – 8:30pm – HAVE YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION
SBS – 9:30pm – LEGALLY BROWN

TUESDAY
SBS – 7:30pm – THE SIXTIES – Vietnam War
GO – 8pm – TOP GEAR – Sydney Festival

WEDNESDAY
ELEVEN – 7:30pm – SIMPSONS/FUTURAMA
ABC – 8pm – MICALLEF’s MAD AS HELL / UTOPIA / REALITY CHECK
ABC2 – 8:42pm – 12 YEAR OLD SHOPAHOLIC
SBS2 – 10:30pm – CHILD’S PLAY

FRIDAY
7MATE – 9:45pm – GHOSTBUSTERS
GEM – 11:40pm – LAYER CAKE

SATURDAY
7MATE – 10:30pm – SCARFACE
ABC – 11:35pm – RAGE – JIMMY BARNES GUEST PROGRAMMER

SPORT HIGHLIGHTS
MON – SBS – 11pm – WORLD GAME
TUE – ABC – 11:35pm – WOMENS BASKETBALL WORLD CUP Aus v Blr
WED – SBS – 4:30am – CHAMPIONS LEAGUE – PSG v BARCELONA (6pm SBS2)
THU – SBS – 4:30pm – CHAMPIONS LEAGUE – ATLETICO MADRID v JUVENTUS
THU – SBS2 – 4:30pm – NETBALL AUST v NZ
THU – ONE – 9:30pm – NEW – THURSDAY NIGHT SPORTS SHOW
FRI – SBS2 – 6:30pm – EUROPA LEAGUE FOOTBALL HIGHLIGHTS
FRI – ABC2 – 11:10pm – WOMENS B’BALL 1/4 FINAL
SAT – 7TWO – 2:00pm – RACING
SUN – NINE – 10:00am – NRL GRAND FINAL DAY. GF Kick off pending on Nine’s ads.

EPL & Football League Preview – Gurgler’s Own Goal

By

admin

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September 26, 2014

0

Is too much Football barely enough? Damn right. There’s certainly plenty around at the moment. Midweek League Cups and Champions League providing the meat for full weekend football sandwiches. There’s even the second qualifying round of the FA Cup thrown in this weekend for the first 100 callers, featuring teams from places that only the locals would know, or names that makes FA Cup interesting.

As ever we’ll point out our favourite bits and pieces and provide the best tips money can buy. Or not.

– LIVERPOOL V MIDDLESBROUGH LEAGUE CUP – as discussed in our Weekly Sport round up, we love a penalty shootout that lasts for 15 kicks a side. We suggest that the sudden death should kick in after all 11 players have had a kick. Overlooked a bit is a fine performance from Middlesbrough who are hopefully on their way to promotion to prove our promotion prediction correct. We is SMRT.

– LEAGUE CUP – Some say it is a waste of time, most of those support teams who haven’t won it for a while, or are blasé about their continued EPL status. There is certainly room for a bit of improvement, we have some ideas so stay put for a future article on how The Gurgler can improve the League Cup.

But for the average fan the League Cup is a welcome midweek distraction, and as a neutral whose team is continually knocked out by lower tier teams in the first round, it is always a chance to wish for a David v Goliath moment.

– LEYTON ORIENT v RUSSELL SLADE – Leyton Orient are a team that have historically fluctuated between Leagues One and Two. Under manager Russell Slade Leyton Orient have threatened to achieve. Last season they made their best start in many years and led the league before bowing out in the playoff final to Rotherham.

This year a run of a few losses and the word on the street was Mr Slade had one game left to save his job. If true, it was certainly not very grateful of the bosses of a man who had done so much. So it was to a fair degree of surprise when a better side than Leyton Orient (ex EPL Cardiff) came calling for Russell Slade. Suddenly Leyton Orient didn’t feel like letting the same person they intended to flick talk to another club.

End result Russell Slade has resigned, will more than likely end up in charge of Cardiff, and Leyton Orient will likely disappear into the fourth tier as their reward.

– LEICESTER 5 MAN UTD 3 – this game proves a lot of things about the EPL. One that hype around Man Utd is tiresome, with people far too quick to jump on bandwagons of opinion going in either direction. Two, that it is easy to dismiss promoted sides due to ignorance. Leicester won the Championship easy last year and have been ultra compeditive against most of the top sides from last year.

Whilst there’s a gulf between top EPL and bottom EPL sides, there is little difference between a good championship side and a lower EPL side. Leicester proving that success is still achievable in the first year of promotion. Although, will go a long way to beat the mighty Ipswich Town’s first year back in 2001.

– Talking of Ipswich Town, they are threatening to achieve something this year with three wins in a row.

Anyways, we’ll keep it short and sweet and give the punters what they really want. Winners.

EPL MULTI – $11
SOUTHAMPTON to beat QPR
ARSENAL to beat Spurs
CHELSEA/ASTON VILLA – Over 2.5 goals
WBA/BURNLEY – Under 2.5 goals
CRYSTAL PALACE/LEICESTER – Under 2.5 goals

CHAMPIONSHIP MULTI – $48
NOTTS FOREST to beat Brighton
BOURNEMOUTH to beat Wigan
IPSWICH to beat Rotherham
DERBY to beat Bolton
CARDIFF to beat Sheffield Wednesday

LEAGUE ONE MULTI – $20
LEYTON ORIENT to beat Rochdale
SHEFFIELD UTD to beat Gillingham
CHESTERFIELD to beat Notts County
Coventry/Preston – Over 2.5 goals
OLDHAM to beat Scunthorpe

LEAGUE TWO MULTI – $101
BURTON to beat Cheltenham
SOUTHEND to beat Shrewsbury
STEVENAGE to beat Mansfield
DRAW – Dagenham / York
BURY to beat Exeter

FA CUP WINNERS Multi price unknown.
FC UTD OF MANCHESTER, HISTON, KETTERING, WEYMOUTH, WHITEHAWK, WEALDSTONE, KINGSTONIAN, MICKLEOVER SPORTS, BOSTON UTD, BRADFORD PARK AVENUE.

FA CUP GURGLER’S FAVOURITE NAME WINNERS. Multi Price unknown.
MET POLICE
SWINDON SUPERMARINE
DORKING WANDERERS
FC ROMANIA
STALYBRIDGE CELTIC
RUGBY TOWN

Gurgler’s Week O Sport

By

admin

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September 25, 2014

0

Getting to the sharp end of the football season now with the big AFL showdown this week, and Rugby Leagues showpiece next weekend.

Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves though, and review the week that was, and have a short sharp look forward to the weekend ahead.

MIDWEEK LEAGUE CUP
There’s a few things The Gurgler likes – Football, early morning weekday sport, and Penalty Shootouts. This week the League Cup in England provided it all.

Your typical Minnow v back-up EPL side (Middlesbrough v Liverpool) was running to schedule this week with a penalty shootout needed to separate the two sides. However in a record 15 kicks per side were required to find a winner.

We do love a penalty shootout, but 15 is a gift that ticks all the boxes.

It led us to think that maybe a change could be made to current penalty shootouts. Who wouldn’t like to see every player have a shot at goal before the sudden death kick in. There’s nothing funnier and better than a goalkeeper lining up against a fellow goalkeeper.

In other games of note Man City belted Sheffield Wednesday 7-0, Chelsea won so they can play Shrewsbury next round who beat ex EPL Norwich no less, and Arsenal have one less trophy for Arsne Wegner to win after Southampton won. Oh, and Newcastle finally won a game.

SINGAPORE GP
Nothing like a GP under lights. Although unfortunately we finally get a GP in our time zone and it’s changed to suit Europe, we’re used to it now, and it is a great spectacle.

The winner was no surprise, nor was a Mercedes failure. Hamilton getting the good luck this time and Rosberg the bad. Mercedes are trying their very best to ensure the public are kept enthralled despite having a car much better than everyone. We thank them for making it interesting with all the in fighting, running into each other, failures, DNFs. They could probably be close to wrapping up championship by now, so it is very selfless of them.

Their selflessness allows Daniel Ricciardo to keep alive his chance of Bradburying this year’s title. 3rd behind Hamilton doesn’t help, but the Merc failures and his consistent pace keeps his chances alive.

As ever, the battles further back from the podium in the closing stages were great, and F1 has a great product at the moment. Give them time and they F*** it up somehow with tyres that last 5 laps, mid race driver changes, powerboosts based fans taking Instagram selfies dressed as their favourite driver.

NRL FINALS
Hard to complain about the action thus far, unless your side lost or didn’t make the finals, but that’s just being bitter.

There have been plenty of one sided halves in the finals thus far, but thankfully last weekend all featured great comebacks which unfortunately for the losers fell just short. But great finishes they were, and hopefully the same continues this week, with the right results of course. Eh Rabbits?

QLD CUP
Local Rugby League is as popular as ever, and one can only imagine how much so if the PNG Hunters made the finals.

The Intrust Super Cup this week actually outrated the AFL final in Queensland last Sunday confirming League is king in Queensland and that people love their local league.

Their big show is on this weekend at Suncorp Stadium with all three grades getting their day at the home of rugby league. Why not wander down and get your 240 + of good times. Or if you’re lazy, catch it on Channel 9 at the premium timeslot of 3pm. We tip our winners below as part of our super multi.

NQ COWBOYS

Yet again the Cowboys exit the finals with some controversy, and feel they have been ripped off again. They will get some sympathy from League fans and The Gurgler who enjoy their style, and hoped for a Queensland side to go further. However….

1 – It was a knock on. If it wasn’t the last 10 seconds no one would have been too upset at the call.

2 – There was plenty of points conceded with some pretty ordinary defence in the first half. Ones less of those and the last few minutes don’t matter.

3 – Every year the Cowboys promise much and deliver variable amounts during the season. A Top 4 finish would give them the best possible chance that their final knockout game would be at home, and give them their best possible chance of avoiding a similar finish next year.

There’s plenty of action this weekend so are top three are:

AFL GRAND FINAL – aka the Buddy Franklin show. The two best teams meet in what should be a classic Grand Final. Please help yourself to our Drinking Game article if the on field action isn’t quite enough.

RYDER CUP – Golf is a pretty boring game to watch at the best of times. Those best of times don’t include Gurgler favourite Miguel Angel Jiminez and the US Masters who make Golf very watchable.

Almost on a par with those two (punt intended) is the Ryder Cup. Whilst a tournament involving superpowers Europe and USA shouldn’t really matter, it does bring most of the best golfers together for a team contest. So it’s as good as it gets for golf, almost.

ROOSTERS v RABBITOHS
Multiple 2014 NRL Flag favourite meet a week earlier than bookmakers would lead you to believe. Roosters looking to go back to back, and the Rabbitohs are hopefully on the verge of giving some joy and achievement for their loyal bunch of fans and bandwagoners.

THE GURGLER SUPER MULTI – Pays $580 for just $1
AFL GF – HAWKS +8.5 start
NRL FINALS – SOUTHS to beat Roosters
NRL FINALS – BULLDOGS to beat Penrith
NSW CUP FINAL – PENRITH to beat Newcastle
QLD CUP FINAL – NORTHERN PRIDE to beat Easts
GOLF – EUROPE to win Ryder Cup
MOTO GP – LORENZO to win Aragon GP
RL U/20 – BRISBANE to beat Dragons
RL U/20 – NZ to beat Parramatta.

An AFL Grand Final & Finals Series 2015 Non Drinking Game

By

Kaaps Loche

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September 22, 2014

0

It’s AFL Grand finals time, and most are looking forward to the big stoush featuring Australian Rules two best sides. 100,000 people will be crammed into the G, and millions around Australia and Nauru will be fixated on the action.

We’ll bypass the intermediate finals talk of who will win and the Grand Final week events that use terms like WAGS, Glitter and Red Carpet, and the perennial question of what someone is wearing to get down to business.

Or you could follow our Neutral’s Guide to the 2016 AFL Grand Final Day here.

Most will be focused on the action on field, wondering if Buddy Franklin will be the hero or the Jack Dyer medallist. There will be some out there who have only a casual interest in AFL. You are the people we’re focusing on here today.

It’s true that betting increases interest in any game. So does having a game within a game.

Given the problems associated with alcohol in the news these days, the days of the drinking game being a suitable pastime are long gone, and we certainly don’t like to recommend anything that will end is tsk-tsking on any morning news soap opera. We care about your well being and the problem of alcohol abuse in general. Drinking games are for a distant time of mid 20’s, and era of news with less social commentary and anything “going viral” and four or five governments ago when no one cared what people did.

Step 1 – Decide a punishment penalty – be it a 20 cent fine to a combined pool for all players and the person with the fewest penalties at the end scoops the pool, a 10 cent donation to your favourite charity, a giant horsebite slap on the leg with every penalty or how about having a bite of the world’s hottest corn chip with extra Frank’s Hot Sauce. Use your imagination.

If you decide to drink against our better wishes then a very cheap, generic beer. The Gurgler recommends MF Lager, or even better – Cleanskins. Why not add a little mystery to the shindig.

Step 2 – Choose a side to support and a seating apparatus that suits.

Step 3 – Removed due to potentially offensive content.

Step 4 – Hand out the following punishments based on events during the game.

AN OPPOSITION GOAL – 1 x Penalty
AN OPPOSITION GOAL OUTSIDE 50M – 2 x Penalty
YOUR TEAM KICKS A BEHIND (except Rushed Behind) – 1 x Penalty
YOUR TEAM CONCEDES A RUSHED BEHIND – 3 x Penalty
YOUR TEAM HITS THE POST (either Behind or no score) – 2 x Penalty
YOUR TEAM GIVES AWAY A FREE KICK – 1 x Penalt
YOUR TEAM GIVES AWAY A 50M FREE – 4 x Penalty
YOUR TEAM IS CAUGHT HOLDING THE BALL – Yell the mandatory “Ball!!!!” then add another penalty.
YOUR TEAM KICKS OUT ON THE FULL – 2 x Penalty
BALL UP – 1 x Penalty (Both Teams)

Past trials of this game have proven that the side that wins doesn’t always reflect the scorelines on the day or the headache the next day.

So there’s a sturdy back up plan for those who love their AFL Finals series and in particular Grand Final day, support a side that never makes the big dance, or that person out there who likes the sport with a little extra.

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Gurglervision

By

Kaaps Loche

-

September 21, 2014

0

Another week of The Gurgler’s review of the TV week.

It’s AFL Grand Final week, and the big show should take most of the attention and rightly so, but we want to make sure you don’t miss the other gems.

Enjoy it while you can, once the footy dries up it’s rubbish and Michael Slater all summer long.

BEST OF THE WEEK
AFL Grand Final Day – Saturday.
A Grand Final marathon starts at 12:10am and doesn’t stop until well into darkness on Saturday night. Only inconvenience is the yapfest that is weekend news.

Or TEAM AMERICA Movie – Sunday night.

WORST OF THE WEEK
Mike and Molly

BATTLEGROUND OF THE WEEK
The Dance off between Shall We Dance on GO and Step it Up 3 on 7Mate (a real bloke’s movie too) on Friday night ensuring a back up option for all non league loving wives and girlfriends and Victorians.

OTHER BEST OF…..
MONDAY
SBS2-23:20-Sarah Silverman
11-19:30-The Simpsons
10-20:30-Have You Being Paying Attention
GO-21:30-From Russia With Love
TUESDAY
SBS-19:30-The Sixties – Cold War
SBS2-23:50-South Park
GO-20:00-Top Gear – Middle East Special
WEDNESDAY
ABC-From 20:00-Shaun Micallef’s Mad as Hell, Utopia, Reality Check
GO-20:30-Batman Movie – Dark Knight Rises
11-19:30-The Simpsons+Futurama
THURSDAY
SBS2-20:30-South Park/Drunk History
SATURDAY
SBS-20:30-Full Metal Jacket
SUNDAY
SBS-20:30-Monty Python – 1 Down 5 ot go.
SBS2-21:30 South Park
7Mate-23:00-Team America

SPORTING VIEWS THIS WEEK
MONDAY
7Mate-19:30-Brownlow Medal Night
SBS-23:00-World Game
ONE-23:30-Singapore GP Replay
FRIDAY
CH9-19:30-NRL Souths v Roosters
SATURDAY
7Mate-00:10-AFL GF Marathon
CH7-09:00-AFL Grand Final Day
7TWO-14:00-Horse Racing
CH9-19:30-Penrith v Bulldogs
SUNDAY
7TWO-14:00-Horse Racing
ABC-15:00-W League Football
CH9-15:30-Qld Cup Grand Final
ONE-21:30-Moto GP