It’s AFL Grand finals time, and most are looking forward to the big stoush featuring Australian Rules two best sides. 100,000 people will be crammed into the G, and millions around Australia and Nauru will be fixated on the action.
We’ll bypass the intermediate finals talk of who will win and the Grand Final week events that use terms like WAGS, Glitter and Red Carpet, and the perennial question of what someone is wearing to get down to business.
Or you could follow our Neutral’s Guide to the 2016 AFL Grand Final Day here.
Most will be focused on the action on field, wondering if Buddy Franklin will be the hero or the Jack Dyer medallist. There will be some out there who have only a casual interest in AFL. You are the people we’re focusing on here today.
It’s true that betting increases interest in any game. So does having a game within a game.
Given the problems associated with alcohol in the news these days, the days of the drinking game being a suitable pastime are long gone, and we certainly don’t like to recommend anything that will end is tsk-tsking on any morning news soap opera. We care about your well being and the problem of alcohol abuse in general. Drinking games are for a distant time of mid 20’s, and era of news with less social commentary and anything “going viral” and four or five governments ago when no one cared what people did.
Step 1 – Decide a punishment penalty – be it a 20 cent fine to a combined pool for all players and the person with the fewest penalties at the end scoops the pool, a 10 cent donation to your favourite charity, a giant horsebite slap on the leg with every penalty or how about having a bite of the world’s hottest corn chip with extra Frank’s Hot Sauce. Use your imagination.
If you decide to drink against our better wishes then a very cheap, generic beer. The Gurgler recommends MF Lager, or even better – Cleanskins. Why not add a little mystery to the shindig.
Step 2 – Choose a side to support and a seating apparatus that suits.
Step 3 – Removed due to potentially offensive content.
Step 4 – Hand out the following punishments based on events during the game.
AN OPPOSITION GOAL – 1 x Penalty
AN OPPOSITION GOAL OUTSIDE 50M – 2 x Penalty
YOUR TEAM KICKS A BEHIND (except Rushed Behind) – 1 x Penalty
YOUR TEAM CONCEDES A RUSHED BEHIND – 3 x Penalty
YOUR TEAM HITS THE POST (either Behind or no score) – 2 x Penalty
YOUR TEAM GIVES AWAY A FREE KICK – 1 x Penalt
YOUR TEAM GIVES AWAY A 50M FREE – 4 x Penalty
YOUR TEAM IS CAUGHT HOLDING THE BALL – Yell the mandatory “Ball!!!!” then add another penalty.
YOUR TEAM KICKS OUT ON THE FULL – 2 x Penalty
BALL UP – 1 x Penalty (Both Teams)
Past trials of this game have proven that the side that wins doesn’t always reflect the scorelines on the day or the headache the next day.
So there’s a sturdy back up plan for those who love their AFL Finals series and in particular Grand Final day, support a side that never makes the big dance, or that person out there who likes the sport with a little extra.
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