The NRL Finals for 2015 are here, and you’ve made it. After 26 of the hardest rounds of rugby league you deserve a treat. Why not indulge in a game within a game.
Follow our guide below to good times, perfect for the neutral and couldn’t-give-a-stuff alike. Or anyone looking to add a little more to their day than a footy game.
Given the problems associated with alcohol in the news these days, the days of the drinking game being a suitable pastime are long gone, and we certainly don’t like to recommend anything that will end is tsk-tsking on any morning news soap opera. We care about your well being and the problem of alcohol abuse in general. Drinking games are for a distant time of mid 20’s, and era of news with less social commentary and anything “going viral” and four or five governments ago when no one cared what people did.
Step 1 – Decide a punishment penalty – be it a 20 cent fine to a combined pool for all players and the person with the fewest penalties at the end scoops the pool, a 10 cent donation to your favourite charity, a giant horsebite slap on the leg with every penalty or how about having a bite of the world’s hottest corn chip with extra Frank’s Hot Sauce. Use your imagination.
If you decide to drink against our better wishes then a very cheap, generic beer. The Gurgler recommends MF Lager, or even better – Cleanskins. Why not add a little mystery to the shindig. The worse the beer, the bigger the punishment, and it’s all about punishing. You are mostly going to need at least half a carton per man. Mostly.
Step 2 – Choose a side to support and a seating apparatus that suits. We recommend and use “The Slothress” – a mattress pushed up against a wall or lounge into an L shape.
Step 3 – Deleted due to content that may offend.
Step 4 – Hand out the following punishments based on events during the game.
OPPOSITION TRY – 4 X PENALTY
OPPOSITION GOAL – 2 X PENALTY
YOUR TEAM ERROR – 1 X PENALTY
YOUR TEAM PENALTY – 1 X PENALTY
YOUR TEAM PLAYER ON REPORT – 2 X PENALTY
YOUR TEAM INTERCHANGES – 1 X PENALTY
* ALL PUNISHMENTS DOUBLE IN GOLDEN POINT
ADDITIONAL CHANNEL 9 PUNISHMENTS
1 x PENALTY TO ALL FOR THE FOLLOWING….
– ONE FOR EVERY MINUTE THE KICK OFF IS DELAYED UNTIL AFTER THE NRL ADVERTISED STARTING TIME
– GUS SAYS “WOW”
– ONE FOR ANYTIME THE GUS AND RAY DO THEIR OLD LADIES ARGUING ROUTINE
– AN AD FOR A CHANNEL SHOW POPS UP MID COVERAGE
– DOUBLE IF ANY OFTHE COMMENTATORS CLAIM TO LIKE IT
– ONE FOR ANY USE OF THE HIGHLY ANNOYING SPIDER CAM
– BRETT FINCH CONTRIBUTES ANYTHING USEFUL
– BRETT FINCH CONTRIBUTES ANYTHING
– USE OF THE TERM FAIRYTALE
– ANYTIME THERE IS A SILENCE AFTER ANYTHING WALLY LEWIS CONTRIBUTES
It’s all in good fun, and we recommend you try a non alcohol punishment. The Channel Nein penalties will have your Monday ruined in no time.
