Welcome to the latest addition to The Gurgler’s line up of stories and opinion – The Gurgler Six Pack.
Each week, or whenever we can be bothered, we’ll take a topic or event out of the esky that we wish to open the lid on and serve up six of our finest servings on the matter.
They won’t be Crown Lager or Crown Larger quality, nor will they be OP Rum above the top shelf quality either. They will be as you expect from The Gurgler – barely amusing, reasonably lame, yet surprisingly obscure or forgotten and hardly relevant to the main topic.
It is a punter’s race after all, and we try and give the punters what they want.
Here’s this week’s Six Pack:
BACK UP G20 NATIONS
The G20 sure was exciting, all that fuss for a handful of nations to have photos taken, and the occasional chinwag. But are the 20 nations invited the best that could possibly be?
For your consideration we offer up an alternative six countries we think should be placed on standby for next time to liven up proceedings.
ICELAND
With a capital city few can pronounce, a country very few could locate, and a volcanic system that can ground the entire European aviation industry, Iceland surely wields unknown power and is more interesting than South Korea.
COLOMBIA
Surely a country that produces as much coffee and cocaine as Colombia to the myriad of behind the scenes public servants deserves a say in proceedings of the G20.
ZIMBABWE
With many nations having presidents and prime ministers that most people have either forgotten or didn’t know in the first place, who wouldn’t want to recognise a familiar face amongst the handshakes. The conference also wouldn’t lack for interest.
NORTH KOREA
Same as above, but with added nutbag.
ANTARCTICA
With Climate change all over the G20 conference, why not allow the area on Earth which will be most affected a say on the the future policy. Sure the penguins they send may not be able to speak a language that can be translated, but they can peck yes or no or quack to any motion moved.
LIECHTENSTEIN OR LUXEMBOURG
Because we only came up with five originally but wanted to stick with the Six theme for future ones. Five pack doesn’t have the same ring.
Summer’s here and there’s still plenty of sport going on, and here’s our weekly wrap, with the internet’s most extravagant multi tips for added value.
FOUR NATIONS GOOD – AUSTRALIA LOSING BAD The best Four Nations tournament thus far ended in a deserving win for New Zealand on Sunday against the Australian side who never quite looked likely.
Why was it the best? Well first, all four nations were compeditive this time, with Samoa almost providing a handful of upsets before being outclassed in the first half of the game against Australia. On the whole they were deserving participants, and they had to prove that as a Gurgler favourite PNG wasn’t in the tournament.
Secondly, interest is always spiked when Australia don’t win everything. It is good for the game when another win a tournament for many reasons. One – Australia tend to get off their ring and play better next time. Two – we got rid of Ricky Stuart (the Michael Slater of Rugby League) last time Australia lost a big tournament. Three – some of the players who couldn’t be arsed this time around may find a way to make themselves available. Sure they were all injured to some degree or burnt out, but given their profession and short time frame of playing life they might want to play as often as they can.
Thirdly, the actual games were quality affairs. Even the games not featuring Australia were great, especially the NZ v England match. What also helps is the game is having just the one referee. We’ve yet to see a game that has been improved by two referees, or put another way, not many games featuring one referee have been talked about afterwards for the refereeing.
So, whilst it may not be the dynasty NZ may want or claim could happen (as NSW used to after three origin series win before Qld showed them what a real dynasty is), they deserve their win and Australia may have to play properly next time to beat them.
RED BULL GIVES YOU WINS – V8’s GIVES YOU POINTS
Jamie Whincup is now the most successful V8/Australian Touring Car driver of all time in terms of championship wins, and very few have dominated like the energy drink fuelled speed merchant. No doubt he will be right on the pace again next year, and who knows, a seventh title might not be unrealistic.
We at The Gurgler would like to see Jamie Whincup have a go at another category though. V8’s will always be a home he can come back to, but whilst he’s attached to Red Bull, why not try to join a lower series in Europe or NASCAR in the US for a few years. The Shane van Gisbergens and David Reynolds.
One beef with the V8 Championship is the points system, which is far too complex and rewards far too much mediocrity. Only cars in a Top 10 should ever get points, and there’s too much everyone wins a prize and ribbon in how far the points go in V8s. Borrowed from Wikipedia is the points table below.
There is no sport on earth where someone finishing 28th should get anything. let alone 7 points for being the most mediocre. Funny considering that it is V8s that a point system is so confusing, maybe it is to bamboozle the fans which so many points they never quite know if a championship is close to being won or not.
NO CLARKE NO CRY
This week we awoke to the news that Michael Clarke will miss the test series against India. Whilst it is going to be a massive hole to fill with both willow and captain’s armband, it will give selectors a chance to let a couple of batsman test wannabes cement their place in the test side before we head back to England again.
The Gurgler selects either Callum Ferguson or Joe Burns, both of who are playing well in the shield.
We also hope that Haddin remains injured for at least one game so Chris Hartley can finally prove to the world that he is the best wicket keeper in the country and quite a handy batsman. Whilst his overall record isn’t great, Hartley has usually entered the field with Qld in all shapes of disaster, and he has held up many a Qld innings showing substance over the style of the fashionable batsman-keeper.
Why do we bother giving an opinion though, if there’s a marginal decision and a NSW players is close enough, they will no doubt change their Sky Blues to Green quick enough.
TIPSTRADAMUS
Our long range tipping comp will be back next year, and we will launch this for everyone to enter soon. So, look for the separate article soon. The winner will receive a limited edition King Tipster T Shirt.
So get your sporting thinking cap on and get those tips ready for 2015 and stay tuned.
And now for the internet’s biggest sports multi for your consideration.
$1 multi pays $130
CRICKET ODI #4 – SAF to beat Aust
F1 – The Ham to win the last race
RUGBY – Ireland to beat Australia
RUGBY – WALES with 13.5 start v NZ
RUGBY – FRANCE to beat Argentina
ALEAGUE – Melbourne Victory/Brisbane Roar + 2.5 goals
ALEAGUE – Perth to beat Wellington
ALEAGUE – Perth to beat Adelaide
NBL – NZ to beat Melbourne
NBL – PERTH to beat Adeliaide.
[table caption=”FREE FTA SPORT” width=”500″ colwidth=”50|50|50|350″ colalign=”left|left|left|left”]
Day,Channel,Time,Sporting Event
Thu,CH7,12:00pm,GOLF – Australian Masters
Fri,CH7,12:00pm,GOLF – Australian Masters
Fri,CH9,12:30pm,Cricket ODI #4 Aust v SAF
Fri,SBS,6:30pm,ALEAGUE- Melb Victory v Brisbane
Sat,CH7,12:00pm,GOLF – Australian Masters
Sat,7Mate,7:30pm,INTERNATIONAL RULES – Aust v Ireland
Sat,ONE,10:30pm,F1 FINALE Abu Dhabi Qualy
Sat,CH7,12:00pm,GOLF – Australian Masters
Sun,CH9,12:30pm,Cricket ODI #5 Aust v SAF
Sun,SBS2,10:00pm,ALeague Extra Time
Sun,CH10,10:45pm,F1 FINALE – Abu Dhabi – Race
[/table]
So Foxtel is offering their wares for just $25 a month. Well, there’s still plenty for nothing on free to air and why not save yourself $25 and your time with our rundown on the best and blurst of FTA TV this week.
There’s no big budget dramas or reality shows here, they already get plenty of air time, we’re down at the other end of the pool championing the lesser known, forgotten, and the lesser liked servings available.
So we’ll take the hard work out of the TV Guide and highlight or favourites and all the sport on offer.
BEST:
FLYING HIGH (ONE) – Monday 9:30pm
SOUTH PARK (SBS2) – Tuesday 10:30pm Russell Crowe Episode
BLURST:
Big Brother hasn’t got long left, so it can have another couple of nominations.
SPORTING HIGHLIGHT:
FOOTBALL – JAPAN V AUST (ABC) Tuesday 8:00pm
MOST INTERESTING SHOPPING CHANNEL SHOW:
BLAUPUNKT HIGH DEFINITION – TVSN
[table caption=”TV HIGHLIGHTS” width=”500″ colwidth=”50|50|50|350″ colalign=”left|left|left|left”]
Day,Channel,Time,Show
Mon,7Mate,6:30,4 x Seinfeld
Mon,SBS,7:30,Stephen Hawking’s Grand Design
Mon,ONE,9:30,Flying High
Mon,GEM,9:35,Dirty Harry
Mon,SBS2,11:30,Sarah Silverman Program
Tue,7Mate,8:30,Man Finds Food + Chowmasters
Tue,7Mate,9:30,Bogan Hunters Uncut
Tue,SBS2,10:30,South Park feat Russell Crowe
Wed,Eleven,7:30,Simpsons + Futurama
Wed,ABC,8:00,Micallef’s Mad As Hell + Chaser’s Media Circus
Thu,SBS2,8:00,Gadget Man
Thu,SBS2,8:30,South Pk Replay new replay
Fri,SBS2,8:30,Ali G
Sat,7Mate,5:30,Happy Gilmore
Sat,7Mate,7:30,London’s Super Tunnel (for the transport nerds)
Sat,7Mate,10:00,Rambo
Sun,ABC,7:30,Countdown – Do Yourself A Favour
Sun,SBS2,9:30,South Park
[/table]
WEEKDAY WONDERS:
Daily show that are your boredom backups.
ABC – 6:00pm – Eggheads / QI DOuble
7MATE – 6:30pm – Seinfeld Double
[table caption=”FREE FTA SPORT” width=”500″ colwidth=”50|50|50|350″ colalign=”left|left|left|left”]
Day,Channel,Time,Sporting Event
Mon,7Mate,4:00am,NFL Triple Header
Tue,ABC,8:00pm,FOOTBALL – Japan v AUST Friendly
Wed,CH9,12:30pm,Cricket ODI #3 Aust v SAF
Thu,CH7,12:00pm,GOLF – Australian Masters
Fri,CH7,12:00pm,GOLF – Australian Masters
Fri,CH9,12:30pm,Cricket ODI #4 Aust v SAF
Fri,SBS,6:30pm,ALEAGUE- Melb Victory v Brisbane
Sat,CH7,12:00pm,GOLF – Australian Masters
Sat,7Mate,7:30pm,INTERNATIONAL RULES – Aust v Ireland
Sat,ONE,10:30pm,F1 FINALE Abu Dhabi Qualy
Sat,CH7,12:00pm,GOLF – Australian Masters
Sun,CH9,12:30pm,Cricket ODI #4 Aust v SAF
Sun,SBS2,10:00pm,ALeague Extra Time
Sun,CH10,10:45pm,F1 FINALE – Abu Dhabi – Race
[/table]
We’ve been accused of being far too English-centric with our Football coverage, so we thought we’d get as far away from the English game as possible.
Please accept our all new German Bundesliga Football Weekly, proudly brought to you each week by Count Klaus von Dutchmann III.
Here’s his introduction, in case you don’t already know him….
Count Dutchmann was born in Wankendorf in 1975 to the noble house of Schauenburg. His family lineage stems from the County of Holstein-Kiel, one of the oldest in greater Germany. Being an only child to Klaus von Dutchmann II and Inga Kochstuffen he was privately educated and groomed for his title from birth. Training that was unfortunately needed earlier than anyone anticipated, when his parents were victims of the Great Engel Disaster of 1989, when residents of Wankendorf were unawares the family were playing the popular role playing game, and proceeded to sentence them to death by Scaphism without trial.
Thrust into his new role and needing to reassert his family’s honour, he poured a substantial amount of his inheritance into the local Fussball team, Holstein Kiel. The side was a powerhouse in the Northern Germany league until the Bundesliga was formed, when all of the talented players from the area were drafted into the bigger clubs. Having slipped into the 4th division, Count Dutchmann saw an opportunity to get his citizens back in favour. After restoring the stadium to its former glory, he then convinced some of the home grown talent to stay in the region, rather heading to one of the larger cities. His vision, rather, investment, paid off with Holstein Kiel winning the Regionallliga Nord in 2013.
Thegurgler.com welcomes Count Klaus von Dutchmann III as its Bundesliga correspondent.
So we are 11 rounds in already, and there’s no real surprise when you look at the leaderboard thus far. The superteam Bayern Munich are a full game clear at the top with Wolfsburg a further game clear of Borussia Monchengladbach who are third.
The most outstanding stat for Munich is goal difference, at 27 goals for and only 3 against. I guess the club will offer the GDP of Latvia when Neuer’s contract is up for renewal next year.
Equally as outstanding is Hannover’s ability to be in fourth spot with a negative goal difference of 9 goals for and 11 against.
– If I was a betting man, which I am, I would put a sneaky on Bayer Leverkusen (6) to upset Hannover at home, and leap frog them and Hoffenheim into 4th place. Who dares wins…I hope.
– My other away game pick will be Dortmund to outclass Paderborn at Benteler Arena. After beating Borussia Monchengladbach(3) last week, one feels as if Dortmund are just hitting their straps. Or the ball, in their case.
– As for Bundesliga 2, the most anticipated game will be that of Kaiserlautern(4) vs Darmstadt (3). With only the top 2 teams being automatically promoted to the Bundesliga, though we are not even half way through the season, everyone wants the peace of mind they will be entering the big time next season.
Welcome to the new look Own Goal column. Each week we’ll attempt to bring you enough news, stats and figures to capture your imagination for a few seconds.
Here we share the love between all four tiers of English Football, the greatest football system anywhere in the world. Occasionally we involve teams lower down too, and especially when it involves our favourite – The FA Cup.
So enjoy our thoughts, stats and best bets which are the best that money can’t buy.
Well the big boys have a rest this week due to international fixtures, so the League One and Two gentlemen get their time in the sun. It’s always enjoyable seeing/hearing the Soccer Saturday panel experts attempting to make a third division 0-0 as exciting as they hope.
Some teams in the third and fourth tiers will be looking for a positive reaction after being humbled by Non-League opposition in last weekend’s first round of the FA Cup. 1987 winners Coventry was on the receiving end of the biggest upset after being at home by Worcester City. Southend, Exeter and Morecambe also had their pants pulled down by Non League by Chester, Warrington and Dover respectively. May the giant killing continue all the way to Round 3, the greatest round of any cup competition of any sport anywhere.
The talking point of League One is whether Bristol City can remain unbeaten at the top of League One. Chelsea are the only other unbeaten team in the UK’s top 4 tiers so keeping good company.
League Two’s main chatter will revolve around yet another new manager. This time at high flying Burton Albion. With previous the previous manager moving to a Championship team, it has allowed former Chelsea player and big name Jimmy Floyd Hasselbank to take the reigns and attempt to continue the good work. League Two is also the kindest for length of time served, at least over 12 month average stay, so here’s hoping he gets a good run.
So it’s all come to this, our best selections and tips for you to turn into many dollar, pound, euro or rupee. Please accept our best bets.
LEAGUE ONE MULTI
$1 pays you $84
NOTTS COUNTY to beat Coventry
SHEFFIELD UNITED to beat Doncaster
LEYTON ORIENT to beat Gillingham
ROCHDALE to beat Port Vale
PRESTON to beat Bradford
LEAGUE TWO MULTI
$1 pays you $14
AFC WIMBLEDON to beat Dagenham & Redbridge
SHREWSBURY to beat Mansfield
LUTON to beat Tranmere
PLYMOUTH to beat Portsmouth
So you want more? Well we shall reward your perseverance thus far and dazzle you with some more important stats that matter. Or don’t. Whatever.
[table caption=”Recent Form – League One” width=”500″ colwidth=”80|100|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]
Streak,Team,Games
Unbeaten,Bristol City,16
Wins,Rochdale,3
Without Win,Gillingham,8
Loss,Peterborough,3
Last Six Best,Notts County,15pts
Last Six Worst,Yeovil/Gillingham/Chesterfld,2 pts
Best Home Record,Bristol City,20 points(8 games)
Worst Home Record,Leyton Orient,4pts (8)
Best Away Record,Bristol City,16pts (8)
Worst Away Record,Gillingham,2pts (8)
Most Draws,Oldham/Leyton Orient,7 (16)
[/table]
[table caption=”Player Stats” width=”500″ colwidth=”80|100|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]
Stat,Player,Score
Goal Scorer,Doyle (Chesterfield),14
Goal Scorer,Forte (Oldham),11
Goal Scorer,Garner (Preston),10
[/table]
[table caption=”Recent Form – League Two” width=”500″ colwidth=”80|100|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]
Streak,Team,Games
Unbeaten,Luton Town,10
Wins,Shrewsbury,5
Without Win,Tranmere,11
Loss,Morecambe/Chelt’ham/Oxford,2
Last Six Best,Luton,16pts
Last Six Worst,Tranmere,3 pts
Best Home Record,Shrewsbury,22 points(8 games)
Worst Home Record,Hartlepool/York/Dag & Red,6pts (8)
Best Away Record,Wycombe,17pts (8)
Worst Away Record,Carlisle,4pts (8)
Most Draws,York,9 (16)
[/table]
[table caption=”Player Stats” width=”500″ colwidth=”80|100|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]
Stat,Player,Score
Goal Scorer,Hylton (Oxford),10
Goal Scorer,Cullen (Luton),8
Goal Scorer,Richards (Northampton),8
Goal Scorer,Tubbs (Wimbledon),8
[/table]
These stats and so many more courtesy of a much better website – www.whoscored.com
With another interruption to normal broadcasting in the shape of European Qualifying and International Friendlies, we take the any port in a storm theory and follow it regardless.
Sure the expanded Euro qualifiers and meaningless aren’t as exciting as Watford v Charlton or AFC Wimbledon v York City, but it will do.
To be fair there are some decent games worth watching coming up, and the expanded fixture list gives a football enthusiast five or so days of football to indulge in.
Happily, for Australian fans, ABC have somehow got the FTA rights for the Socceroos friendly v Japan on Tuesday night – LIVE. 8pm kickoff for anyone interested.
Here’s some of the highlights coming up. With our neverfail(win) best bets to follow.
FRIDAY
Scotland v Ireland
Romania v Northern Ireland
USA v Colombia
SATURDAY
ENGLAND v SLOVENIA
MONTENEGRO v SWEDEN
SUNDAY
CZECH REPUBLIC v ICELAND
BELGIUM v WALES
ITALY V CROATIA
TUESDAY
JAPAN V AUSTRALIA
ARGENTINA v PORTUGAL
IRELAND v USA
SPAIN v GERMANY
SCOTLAND v ENGLAND
FRI/SAT MULTI No.1 – $1 pays $156
JAPAN to beat Honduras
PORTUGAL to beat Armenia
HUNGARY to beat Finland
FRANCE to beat Albania
SPAIN to beat Belarus
UKRAINE to beat Luxembourg
ENGLAND to beat Slovenia
SWITZERLAND to beat Lithuania
CHILE to beat Venezuela
NEW ZEALAND to beat China
GREECE to beat Faroe Islands
FRI/SAT ROUGH MUTLI – $1 pays $440
DRAW – Scotland/Ireland
DRAW – San Marino/Estonia
DRAW – Georgia/Poland
NORTHERN IRELAND to beat Romania
TUESDAY MULTI – $1 pays $68
JAPAN to beat Australia
FRANCE to beat Sweden
ARGENTINA to beat Portugal
POLAND to beat Switzerland
GERMANY to beat Spain
BRAZIL to beat Austria
ITALY to beat Albania
So it’s come to this. The G20 started off with 20 nations, and The Gurgler’s battle royale has slowly whittled this down to the final two.
Surprisingly there’s no stars and stripes, union jack, or Germans in the final two. The two that have made the Grand Final are South Korea and Japan, if you haven’t been following the fun.
So here’s the category they’re playing off for tonight.
UPCOMING GRAND FINAL CATEGORY.
GRAND FINAL – Winner decided
HIGHEST COMBINED SCORE
GDP per CAPITA + TOURIST RATE
Highest = winner, Lowest = Runner Up
So sit back and enjoy your G20. No doubt there’ll be plenty of rolling coverage with many, many reporters giving many live crosses of updates that provide little or no update.
Here’s the all-important result.
So congrats to The Republic of Korea who take out the inaugural G20 Battle Royale. A surprise winner who will no doubt celebrat with a ticker tape parade through the streets of Brisbane sometime this weekend.
The Russians have been moved into Queensland waters to provide the many cannon/missile salute to the royale winner. And to provide the news an extra thing to update tomorrow.
That’s enough for this G20 conference. Join us for the next one, wherever that is.
Still plenty of sport going on, and here’s our weekly wrap, with the internet’s most extravagant multi tips for added value.
THE SUMMER OF CRICKET STARTS…SO DOES HATING SLATS
So Channel 9 have started their summer migration in the willow and leather with a triumvirate of T20 matches between Australia (wearing black with fluro yellow/green) and South Africa (wearing green and gold). The colours are upside down, but that’s what T20 is all about, being different from regular cricket, being the cricket’s rebel without a cause.
None of the matches were particularly exciting, and it seems the public knew in advance with poor crowds attending the three blast offs. Although Cricket Australia knew this as they claim the small figures exceeded budget.
The result was Australia winning 2-1, which will hopefully be a repeated result across all forms of the games this summer, including a return to the status of World Champions.
What wasn’t world champion-like, in fact, was the Channel Nine commentary team who gave a sneak preview into how painful the extended summer will be. When in doubt, yell to make it seem more interesting. Although nothing will save Ian Healy from being boring.
Healy remains as boring as Slater is hated, and the injection of some fresh blood in Meg Lanning was marginalised as she was left to answer the occasion question when the boys club had stopped patting themselves on the back.
With the sad news of Richie Benuad’s troubles during the week, it only serves as another dent in the good times this summer. One can only hope the ABC Grandstand coverage is almost in synch with Nine’s vision. Even without Kerry’s laugh it is still infinitely superior to Nine’s dross.
FOUR NATIONS GOOD – DAYLIGHT SAVINGS BAD
Whilst we’ve spent some time bitching about Channel 9’s summer issues, we reflect and have our last ear bashing on Nine’s winter game.
Shame that Channel Nine couldn’t bring themselves to show the Australia v Samoa game live on Sunday night. In what has been the most open and entertaining end of season showpiece for some time, the momentum was slowed by the news that the game was half over in Queensland before the coverage starts.
Is it Channel Nine’s fault? Yes. But also No. If Queensland had daylight savings this wouldn’t be an issue. Which is unlikely to change given all the arguments that moving the clock forward will cause Curtains and Lounges to fade because it is actually an extra hour. Don’t forget the cows who will have no idea what time it is when they look at their hoof swatches for milking duties. In fact it is the cows I blame the most for the delay of rugby league. One day when cows are no longer able to submit votes in Queensland referendums, we may get some more live rugby league.
Double shame is that Channel Nine, going against all recent trends, have listened to the fans and will play the Sunday afternoon game live next year. This increases the free to air live games to two a week next year. This is the exact same amount of free to air live games that SBS and the A League have concocted this year already showing they know what’s best for the fans of their game.
DOWN TO DOUBLE POINTS
At the user friendly time of 2am (cow time) the second last F1 race of the year started in Brazil. The result was always going to be a Mercedes, but this time it was ze German Nico Rosberg who got the victory. Championship leader Lewis Hamilton had an uncharacteristic spin which cost him the win and a chance to make the upcoming finale in Abu Dhabi more comfortable.
The reason we say more comfortable is that in a normal season Lewis could have sewn up the Championship. But this year there’s double points on offer in the last race as a combatant to Red Bull fuelled domination of the last few years.
We were against this at the start of the year, so don’t want to sound too hypocritical in applauding the double up. But it certainly does make it more interesting to have a finale go to the last race.
Can Rosberg and Hamilton confirm their Senna-Prost comparison by crashing into each other with a title on the line. The Gurgler says yes, and yes please.
JACK MILLER WINGS IT TO MOTOGP
Jack Miller has been a Gurgler favourite this year, with many wins, and almost a Moto3 championship, beaten only by Marc Marquez’s brother.
Good thing is that instead of playing around with the middle tier of bike racing, he’ll go straight through the MotoGP next year.
What could be risky, we believe will end in success. A Miller-Riccardo championship duo sounds good to us.
4
GURGLER MEGA MULTI
$1 gets you $1,010
ODI – SOUTH AFRICA to beat Australia Game 1
V8’s – CRAIG LOWNDES – PODIUM @ Phillip Island
4 NATIONS – AUSTRALIA to beat NZ
RUGBY – FRANCE to beat Australia
RUGBY – IRELAND to cover 40.5 start v Georgia
RUGBY – SOUTH AFRICA to beat England
ALEAGUE – NEWCASTLE to beat Brisbane
ALEAGUE – MELBOURNE VICTORY to beat Sydney
ALEAGUE – PERTH to beat Western Sydney
We’re down to the Business End of the G20 Battle Royale. Only four countries remain as we enter the semi final.
There’s been rounds of crime rate, drug use, and acronyms that we can’t be bothered explaining again, so go back to our Round 1 piece if you can be bothered.
Tonight we are testing the final four with the unemployment rate and global peace index. The lower the score the better the country is. The top two will proceed to our grand final where the real winner of the G20 will be decided.
TONIGHT’S BATTLE.
ROUND 3 – 2 eliminated – 2 to remain
LOWEST COMBINED SCORE
UNEMPLOYMENT RATE x GLOBAL PEACE INDEX
2 Highest scores eliminated.
The results are in, and punters and efficiency fans worldwide will be disappointed with Germany being eliminate at the semi final stage. Out too are surprise packets Saudi Arabia, who will be all the stronger for a top 4 finish for the next G20.
Which leaves us with Korea and Japan to battle it out for tomorrow night’s G20 BATTLE ROYALE GRAND FINAL.
Tune into The Gurgler tomorrow night for the big event.
UPCOMING GRAND FINAL CATEGORY.
GRAND FINAL – Winner decided
HIGHEST COMBINED SCORE
GDP per CAPITA + TOURIST RATE
Highest = winner, Lowest = Runner Up
There may be a lot of wolf-work over the next week at the G20 in Brisbane (i.e. Huff + Puff), and each news network over the world will be bashing, biting, slapping, and tickling each other for the fastest, bestest, most secret scoop. Or closer to the truth, they will be attempting to ring every possible drop of information and interest to justify the rolling coverage of nothing.
All of this is secondary to the only thing that people will rmember in ten year’s time. Long after the burning cars are extinguished, the metal walls are dismantled, and the reporters shipped off to obscure countries, Quest newspapers, and Foxtel channels, there will be the memory of the official photo with all the leaders looking uncomfortable in the local formal attire.
For your consideration, as the unofficial blog of the G20, we have some suggestions for what should be wheeled out for Putin, Obama, et al.
HOW ABOUT SOMETHING A LITTLE INDIVIDUAL…..
MAYBE SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE COUNTRY……
SINCE THE ATTIRE IS USUALLY FAIRLY UGLY, WHY NOT THIS……
MAYBE SOME QUEENSLAND BASED UGLINESS SINCE IT IS BRISBANE…
BOGAN UNIFORM READY…
IN HONOUR OF PUTIN V ABBOTT
THEY’LL NEED SOME SHOES TOO…..
So, there’s our selections. Choose from one of the above in our poll below, or leave a comment or tell us to go f*** ourselves in the comment bar below that.
