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G20 Battle Royale – Elimination Round

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G20 Battle Royale a
So here we are, the initial round of the G20 Battle Royale, on our path to finding the big winner of the G20 festival.

If you've missed the intro – refer to our preview below.

The G20 Battle Royale – the real reason for the event

Tonight's round is to remove 4 countires to ensure a neat 16 countries are left for the proper rounds.

What fairer way to eliminate countries than basing it on their FIFA Football Ranking. What country could be best at the G20 if they've never made a World Cup, and have a triple figure FIFA ranking.

A point to note is that one of the twenty is the European Union (EU). As it will be too hard to split and average all the nations involved under the EU umbrella, and all the decent countries that make money or not lose it spectacularly are already flying solo as their own entity, we've removed the EU for sheer ease.

ELIMINATION ROUND 4 eliminated – 16 remain
4 worst ranked FIFA football nations are eliminated.

RESULTS
G20 Elim Round

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So we wave goodbye to Canada, Indonesia, India, EU.

Coming Up……

ROUND 1 – 8 eliminated – 8 to remain
LOWEST COMBINED SCORE
GINI INDEX + HDI INDEX
8 Highest scores eliminated.

ROUND 2 – 4 eliminated – 4 to remain
LOWEST COMBINED SCORE
MURDER RATE + OPIATES USE
4 Highest scores eliminated.

ROUND 3 – 2 eliminated – 2 to remain
LOWEST COMBINED SCORE
UNEMPLOYMENT RATE + GLOBAL PEACE INDEX
2 Highest scores eliminated.

GRAND FINAL – Winner decided
HIGHEST COMBINED SCORE
GDP per CAPITA + TOURIST RATE
Highest = winner, Lowest = Runner Up

[poll id=”32″]

boxing2

Gurglervision – FTA TV Highlights Best & Blurst + Sport

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Don’t let the blanket ads, Zip Cold/Hot Water tap talk in the office or the Brand Power lady fool you, there’s plenty to be enjoyed on FTA TV than Reality TV, advertisements and the other assorted dross that the channels spend their money on.

As with anything on our website, we’re not about joining in on anything popular, we’re down at the other end of the pool championing the lesser known and the lesser liked servings available.

So we’ll take the hard work out of the TV Guide and highlight or favourites and all the sport on offer.
BEST:
MOVIE WEEK –
GOODFELLAS – Mon GEM 8:30
TRUMAN SHOW – Sun CH11 8:30
PASSENGER 57 – Sun CH9 10:00

BLURST:
Constant Updates, Bulletins, Special Updates, Special Coverage on G20.
All channels all the time.

MOST INTERESTING SHOPPING CHANNEL SHOW:
BITCHIN KITCHEN – TV4ME

[table caption=”TV HIGHLIGHTS” width=”500″ colwidth=”50|50|50|350″ colalign=”left|left|left|left”]
Day,Channel,Time,Show
Mon,7Mate,6:30,4 x Seinfeld
Mon,GEM,8:30,Goodfellas
Mon,ABC2,8:33,Doc-The Most Hated Family in America
Mon,SBS,9:25,Brooklyn 9-9
Mon,GO,9:30,V for Vendetta
Mon,SBS2,10:15,South Park – Jared had Aides
Tue,7Mate,8:30,Man Finds Food + Chowmasters
Tue,7Mate,9:30,Bogan Hunters Uncut
Tue,Eleven,9:30,Beavis & Butthead Do America
Wed,Eleven,7:30,Simpsons + Futurama
Wed,ABC,8:00,Micallef’s Mad As Hell + Chaser’s Media Circus
Wed,GO,8:30,Goldeneye
Wed,SBS,9:30,Fargo
Thu,SBS2,8:00,Gadget Man
Thu,SBS2,8:30,South Pk Replay + Drunk History
Fri,Some,Soon,Check FTA Sport
Sat,CH10,8:30,Avatar
Sat,7Mate,9:30,8 Mile
Sun,ABC,8:30,Countdown – Do Yourself A Favour
Sun,Eleven,8:30,The Truman Show
Sun,7Mate,8:30,Terminator 3
Sun,ONE,9:30,Die Hard
Sun,CH9,10:00,Passenger 57
[/table]

[table caption=”FREE FTA SPORT” width=”500″ colwidth=”50|50|50|350″ colalign=”left|left|left|left”]
Day,Channel,Time,Sporting Event
Mon,7Mate,4:00am,NFL x 3
Mon,ONE,6:00am,NASCAR
Mon,ONE,11:50pm,F1 – Brazilian GP Replay
Wed,ONE,8:00am,F1 – Brazilian GP Replay
Thu,ONE,9:30pm,Thursday Night Sports Show
Fri,CH9,12:30pm,Cricket ODI #1 Aust v SAF
Fri,SBS,6:30pm,ALEAGUE-Newc v Brisbane
Sat,CH7,12:30pm,V8’s-Phillip Island
Sat,7TWO,1:00pm,Horse Racing
Sat,CH9,5:30pm,RLEAGUE-4 NATIONS FINAL
Sat,SBS,6:30pm,ALEAGUE-Syd v Melb Vic
Sun,CH7,2:30pm,V8’s-Phillip Island
Sun,SBS2,10:00pm,ALeague Extra Time
[/table]

The G20 Battle Royale – the real reason for the event

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G20 Battle Royale a

Don't let the news, papers, university students, professionals protestors (aka unemployed), or traffic-copter reporters fool you, the G20 isn't a dangerous event that is a complete waste of money. You just need to know the real reason for the shindig.

You imagine it would be like what you see from snippets of the United Nations with speech after speech and many important looking people behind the leaders looking important. Each country will take their turn in discussing mundane trade agreements and other political issues. Aside from the big boxing event which we have advertised earlier at https://www.thegurgler.com/2014/11/03/g20-event-of-the-year/ .

Or so you think.

The Gurgler is one of very few unofficial G20 websites that have been given the inside word on what actually happens.

The real G20 is set up more like the Eurovision Song Contest, in which all countries have produce a 35 minutes musical number that shows the history of their nation, and must involve at least 5 high ranking ministers, their drivers and each head of state. This doesn't affect the overall result, it just warms up the crowd for the real event and reason for the G20.

Each G20 event, the countries meet to determine which nation is the greatest on earth, and unlike soccer in The Simpsons, you have more choice than Mexico and Portugal. Eventually a winner is decided, and that country then claims the 2.3 billion USD first prize.

There are four major rounds and an elimination round, each round has two different measures on which the countries are judged. We will now list the categories below. We will also release the results for each round every day until the eventual winner is decided.

Find below our list of categories, G20 competing nations, and a poll on who you will think will be the winner.

ELIMINATION ROUND 4 eliminated – 16 remain
4 worst ranked FIFA football nations are eliminated.

ROUND 1 – 8 eliminated – 8 to remain
LOWEST COMBINED SCORE
GINI INDEX + HDI INDEX
8 Highest scores eliminated.

ROUND 2 – 4 eliminated – 4 to remain
LOWEST COMBINED SCORE
MURDER RATE + OPIATES USE
4 Highest scores eliminated.

ROUND 3 – 2 eliminated – 2 to remain
LOWEST COMBINED SCORE
UNEMPLOYMENT RATE + GLOBAL PEACE INDEX
2 Highest scores eliminated.

GRAND FINAL – Winner decided
HIGHEST COMBINED SCORE
GDP per CAPITA + TOURIST RATE
Highest = winner, Lowest = Runner Up
[poll id="32"]

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Second Gurgler Man of the Year Nomination

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The Gurgler’s Man of the Year Contest is heating up. Here we provide our second nominee for the first Golden Turpie.

Congratulations to Reggie the Rabbitoh.

This person didn’t have to wait nearly as long for this nomination as they did for another Grand Final win. But both are reward for undying loyalty and dedication to the cause of Red and Green.

Sure we could have selected Gurgler favourites like Sam Burgess, John Sutton, Sutton, or Greg Inglis, as good as they have been this year and previous years, and Sam did come a close second after his Grand Final heroics, but they have only been with the club a fraction of the time of the big white bunny.

Very few have suffered like Reggie, he’s been to at least every home game, and is one of the very few mascots who travels for away game. During the 43 year drought there have been some very lean times, and very few wins. But lack of on field success has never deterred Reggie from being a man of the people.

Always up for meeting fans and well wishers alike during games, and continuing his love for the people into his frequent charity work, no one deserves a little recognition than Reggie.

So to cap a big year for the big Rabbit is his nomination as The Gurgler’s Man of the Year. He thought winning the Grand Final was an achievement….

Reggie MOY

Emirates Stakes Day – Gurgler Tips a plenty

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So we are now approaching the last day of the spring carnival The Gurgler gives a stuff about. Sure, there’s Sandown next week, but we need a few weeks off to get over the smorg of horse racing that has been available.

Like any raceday this last few weeks, many, many fan will be hanging out to either follow these tips or ignore them and remove them immediately form their exotics.

If you’d rather horse around than bet on horses or both, don’t forget our legendary Spumante Racing – Horse Racing drinking game. It’s bubbling fun.

Gurgler's Spumante Racing
RACE 1 – 8 Lord Trieste
RACE 2 – 19 Mr Jazz (for ultimate value)
RACE 3 – 10 London Strike
RACE 4 – 4 Lord Aspen
RACE 5 – 3 Le Roi
RACE 6 – 2 Lankan Rupee
RACE 7 – 2 The Cleaner
RACE 8 – 13 Armapour
RACE 9 – 9 Telepathic.

Finally, not that we suggest any betting company, but Ladrokes offer a megafecta. All you have to do is outlay $3 for a chance of $10 million. Probably good odds considering that the megafecta means picking the winners from race 3-9.

Good punting – bet early – bet often.

The Own Goal – FA Cup Round 1 Edition + Added EPL + Championship

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One of the great sporting competitions kicks off it’s proper first round this weekend, and The Gurgler is looking forward to the many clichés about minnows who are just happy to be this far advanced. To be fair, the minnows and the chance for potential upsets is why the FA Cup is anticipating so much.

It is a real chance for those who study a division that doesn’t have Premier in the title a chance to earn some nice coin with the unexpected and expected wins. It’s more a chance for teams with populations smaller than a Gold Coast United Football crowds to take on some good old fashioned teams, who have been there, done it, and been relegated from it.

Gladly, the BBC have taken back the rights in the UK, and the have split the first round over Saturday and Sunday giving the punters double the usual amount of fun, and saving the exhaustive effort of keeping up with 50odd games of football at once.

Away from the FA Cup, English teams had a bad week in the Champions League. Manchester City are entering a sort of crises despite winning their derby last weekend, given the amount of complaining on the BBC phone in podcasts. Looks as if many, many millions of dollars can’t make you play any better in the Champions League.

The biggest controversy was Liverpool who fielded an understrength side in anticipation of their pants being pulled down by Real Madrid, to more than likely save them for the Chelsea game. Anything other than a win will leave Brendan Rogers to absorb some abuse.

Chelsea and Arsenal will probably qualify for the next phase like they usually/always do, but draws will have been disappointing, especially the Gunners who gave away 3-0 against Belgian powerhouse Anderlecht.

The Europa League teams fared better, with the two remaining teams set to qualify for the next phase.

Further down, Bournemouth took the lead of the Championship. Manager Eddie Howe who dropped into the third div from Burnley recently EPL promoted to manage Bournemouth must be quite content given the two sides could swap placed. Looking very likely for Burnley who have yet to win a game.

Enough blabbing for now, there’s too much football to tip. Win, win, win, (loss, loss, loss).

EPL TIPS – $1 Multi pays $19
SOUTHAMPTON to beat Leicester
OVER 2.5 goals – QPR v MAN CITY
ARSENAL to beat Swansea
NEWCASTLE to beat WBA
MAN UTD to beat Crystal Palace.

CHAMPIONSHIP TIPS – $1 Multi pays $109
OVER 2.5 goals – IPSWICH V WATFORD
DRAW – Sheff Wednesday v Rotherham
DRAW – Derby v Wolves
BIRMINGHAM to beat Cardiff
READING to beat Charlton

FA CUP SATURDAY MULTI  A – $1 pays $122
CAMBRIDGE to beat Fleetwood
GRIMSBY to beat Oxford
BRISTOL ROVERS to beat Tranmere
DOVER to beat Morecambe
EASTLEIGH to beat Lincoln.

FA CUP SATURDAY MULTI  B – $1 pays $102
LUTON to beat Newport
BURY to beat Hemel Hempstead
BARNET to beat Wycombe
BARNSLEY to beat Burton
SHEFFIELD UTD to beat Crewe
PLYMOUTH to beat AFC Fylde
MK DONS to beat Port Vale
PETERBOROUGH to beat Carlisle

FA CUP SUNDAY MULTI – $1 pays $51
PORTSMOUTH to beat Aldershot
WOKING to beat Wrexham
COVENTRY to beat Worcester
NOTTS COUNTY to beat Accrington Stanley
STEVENAGE to beat Maidstone
BRAINTREE to beat Chesterfield

THE ULTIMATE CUPSET DAVID V GOLIATH MULTI – $1 pays $492
GOSPORT BOROUGH to beat Colchester
FOREST GREEN to beat Scunthorpe
WESTON SUPER MARE to beat Doncaster
HALIFAX to beat Bradford

Gurgler’s Week O Sport Review – with added Super Multi

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This week features the race that stops a nation, the nation that stopped our cricket team, Four Nations, and confrontation.

CONFLICT RESOLUTION – NASCAR STYLE
In a time where F1 loses four cars from it’s grid, with other poor outfits crying poor and threatening boycotts, and discussion about three car teams and what to do to fix it being put into the too hard basket by boss Bernie and everyone, maybe it’s time to look to NASCAR for advice.

NASCAR like to keep things simple, drivers only have to turn left, only race in certain states, and if they have a problem they are allowed to punch each other.

Enjoy the link below in the knowledge that this is how things get done in Nascar. No penalties applied to either driver too, giving the thumbs up from the governing body. A different world from F1 where interfering with air of the car behind can lead to a penalty.

Never fear, with Marcus Ambrose leaving Nascar to return to V8’s we’ll need to care just that little bit less about the left turners next year. But hopefully he can bring that taste of DIY Justice to our motorsport circus next year. Here’s the link to his best work earlier in the year.

 

FOUR NATIONS RUGBY LEAGUE
What looked on paper as a who-gives-a-f*** sporting event has been a surprising success. With all the talk about who wasn’t playing in the 4 way shootout before the tournament started, the on field games have more than made up for the lack of Australian stars.

Biggest surprise thus far would have to be Samoa’s compeditiveness, the best performed 4th nation of any in this format. NZ handing a terrible Australia a lesson in the first round also set up a tournament that means Aussies have not yet qualified for the final, and look as likely to beat Samoa as they had NZ and England. And they were only a bigger, stronger fingernail away from an exit last weekend.

With all games live (on TV and competition -wise) this weekend, it is a welcome addition to an otherwise dull week of sport.

AUSTRALIAN CRICKET (INSERT PUN HERE)
We could have gone for “in a spin”, “spun out” or “SOS for Shane Warne” in the pun department. But the real apt description without the pun would be “Australia awful, arse kicked, terrible batting and bowling”.

It is always easy joining a bandwagon, lord knows it’s easy in general, let alone when your sporting side allows an opposition players to score the fastest century ever, allows 9 centuries in 2 tests, and includes Glenn Maxwell.

On the subject of Maxwell, he joins an elite band of cricketers we put in the NATP class. A NATP or Not A Test Player is a person who despite all the skill and promise and potential, and no matter how good an idea you think it is, are just not cut out for test cricket. Or should never be selected.

Sure, sometimes they’ll do something brilliant, but it is usually a bookend to very empty shelf of achievement in between.

Here’s a few of our favourite NATP’s from back in the day.
Glenn Maxwell
Andrew Symonds
Tim May
Gavin Robertson
Paul Wilson

MELBOURNE CUP ROUND UP
First of all, a hearty Ausgezeichnet to Protectionist on winning the cup. Rarely before has a horse won so easy, and made the field look second rate. Never mind the fact that the Gurgler picked it for first, it was impressive all the same.

Also, worth mentioning is Red Cadeaux who has now finished second in three consecutive Cups. No mean feat given the quality of local and overseas horses in the last three cups. Some could feel sorry for the connections, although the sacks of cash that accompany a second place should make them feel better.

Now, the sad tales of the horses that were put down are worth mentioning. But unlike other people around the interweb and social media, we won’t be going into a diatribe about the evils of horse racing and cruelty to animals, providing stats to amaze friends and family about how bad it is.

It is a really sad story, and anyone with a fraction of a heart couldn’t be moved, but it is horse racing, and if this wasn’t the favourite of the biggest race of the year, then no one would give a shite. These things happen in sport and life, and horse racing has plenty of checks in place to ensure that animal welfare is an important factor. At the end of the day it was a freak accident for one horse, and questions about the connections interests of their horse that led to the other horses’ downfall. It is sad truly.

And having been at a track where a horse has broken it’s leg and tries to get up but can’t and is euthanized in front of the crowd on the main straight, it could have been much worse. There was little more than a paragraph or two for that moment at Eagle Farm. Certainly no Facebook updates.

But unlike other nay-sayers we aren’t going to blab about the evils of racing. We know full well that well before the next race that stops a nation we’ll have some interest in a horse race.

People are free to give their opinions, but we challenge anyone who felt the need to point out how bad horse racing is, to never ever put another bet on, enter a sweep, or attend any other race meeting or read anything related to racing for the rest of their life. Would be interesting to see if by the time the nation stops again whether all is forgiven.

Enough of the seriousness, it’s time to attempt to win serious money with out Gurgler Super Multi.

bets

GURGLER SUPER MULTI – $1 gets you $155
CRICKET – TEST – BANGLADESH to beat Zimbabwe
F1 – MASSA Top 6 Brazil
SAMOA +20.5 start v Aust
ENGLAND + start v NZ
BRISBANE ROAR to beat Melb City
CHELSEA to beat Liverpool

VIC OAKS TIP
GO INDY GO

SPORT ON FTA TV
THU 5:30AM SBS – CHAMPS LEAGUE – MAN CITY V CSKA MOSCOW
THU 10:30AM CH7 – RACING OAKS DAY
THU 11:05PM SBS – CHAMPS LEAGUE HIGHLIGHTS
FRI 6:30PM CH9 – T20 AUST V SAF
FRI 6:30PM SBS – ALEAGUE ADELAIDE V SYDNEY
FRI 9:30PM ONE – NBL
SAT 10:30AM CH7 – RACING STAKES DAY
SAT 4:55PM GEM – RLEAGUE NZ V ENGLAND
SAT 6:30PM SBS – ALEAGUE BRISBANE V MELB CITY
SUN 1:30AM ONE – F1 BRAZILIAN GP QUALY
SUN 2:30PM CH9 – RLEAGUE AUST V SAMOA
SUN 6:30PM CH9 – T20 AUST V SAF
SUN 10:00PM SBS2 – ALEAGUE EXTRA TIME
MON 1:30AM ONE – BRAZILIAN GP

G20 Event of the Year!!

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boxing2

 

What a lineup!  What a venue! What a NIGHT!

Ever since Tony Abbott laid down the gauntlet to Vladmir Putin with the now infamous ‘Ill shirtfront him!’ statement, the whole world has been waiting for this confrontation.  Now, courtesy of thegurgler.com,  Errol Stewarts, and the G20, the international stage is set for what may be the bout of the century!

To tantalise the sellout Suncorp crowd we have the Cliche Smackdown Triple Treat; can the ‘Bonge retain his title?!

Then it will be the local Derby, its Campbell Newman vs the State of Qld.  As a treat for those at the stadium, even if you aren’t a Queenslander, you’ll be invited into the ring to help QLD.  Spectacular action!

The final curtain raiser  brings 3 of the dirtiest fighters in the business, the People’s Republic of China versus Jeff the Dinosaur versus Clive Palmer.  Will the numbers of the Chinese be enough against the might of Jeff or the girth of Clive?

Anticipation will then be at its peak for the main event.  Abbott’s experience in the ring at Oxford University against Putin’s, well if the media is to be believed, experience against anything that walks, crawls, slithers or slides.  If you arent one of the lucky ones to have a ticket, rest assured you wont miss out with it being televised on Briz 31 (only if you are within the Briz 31 antenna range which is only 8% of the QLD population)

The First Nominee is here!!

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So Germany did it. They finally retained the World Cup for the first time in 24 years. That’s a longer spell than between hits for Foster and Allen. Especially for a team recognised as one of the powerhouse’s of world soccer. Finishing agonisingly close as second runnerup in 2006 and 2010, and as runnerup in 2002, they have always had talented teams, but perhaps lacked that competitive drive to take them to the top. Enter Joachim Loew, whom reluctantly stepped up to the position of head coach from the retiring German legend, Jurgen Klinsmann, after the 2006 World Cup.

Like most coaches he started as a player, mostly for Bundesliga 2 team SC Freiburg, with a dalliance in the Bundesliga for Eintracht Frankfurt in the ‘82/’83 season. He returned to Freiburg where he still holds the club overall goal record. His playing career ended in 1995, when he had his first taste as managing as a player/manager for Swiss club FC Frauenfield. This taste led to a salivating KFC double burger hunger, as he furthered his coaching experience by returning to the Bundesliga. After numerous assistant roles he landed the head coach job at FK Austria Wien (Vienna) taking them to Austrian Bundesliga championship in 2003. The German National Team recognised his talents and signed him up as an assistant, under Jurgen Klinsmann.   The rest is history…or at least his story.

nominee

He scores the first nomination for the inaugural Gurgler Man of the Year because of his tenacious and charismatic presence on and off the pitch. He has always avoided controversy albeit on one occasion when he was photographed picking his nose than eating it. Who hasn’t. He shies away from the media when it comes to his private life and never comes across as anything else than respectful for his players and his opponents. Oh and he won the World Cup. And that’s after embarrassing the host country 7 -1 in the semi-final. Mind you he did ask his team to not shame them and keep it at 5 goals…

So enjoy this year’s first nominee for the inaugural Golden Turpie!

[contact-form][contact-field label=’Name’ type=’name’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Email’ type=’email’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Comment’ type=’textarea’ required=’1’/][/contact-form]

Your Surefire Never Fail Rarely Win Melbourne Cup Day Tips c/- The Gurgler

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The race that stops the nation eh? Well it certainly is the one where people can get away with doing bugger all, drink at work, and place way more bets than thery usually do or should.

It will hopefully also signal the end of the endless, endless betting commercials. Don’t get us wrong, we love to bet, but with the many betting companies vying for your tuppence this spring it is getting painful.

Although, The Gurgler has dabbled in the Ladbrokes offer of maximum $1o million for picking the first 7 in order. Sounds easy, of course it is. Will we give our numbers? Up yours we want the 10 million to ourselves. We’ll give you our first 6 then sort the rest out yourself.

Anyways, we had reasonable success on Saturday, so the skies the limit, except if you’re on a Virgin Galactic.

RACE 3 – 18 Rebel Rising
RACE 4 – 9 GRACIOUS PROSPECT
RACE 5 – 1 LAW
RACE 6 – 1 LONDON LOLLY
RACE 7 – 5 PROTECTIONIST
RACE 8 – 8 VILLANOVA
RACE 9 – 21 THERMAL CURRENT
RACE 10 – 16 NADEEM LASS

MELBOURNE CUP – Top 6
5 – PROTECTIONIST
24 – SIGNOFF
3 – FAWKNER
4 – RED CADEAUX
16 – BRAMBLES
22 – LUCIA VALENTINA

HEY, if you’re still reading this and you want more Melbourne Cup action, why not help yourself, friends and family to our Golden Gate Spumante Racing Drinking Game. Fun for all the family.

Gurgler's Spumante Racing