Every now and again The Gurgler’s interest is sparked into a really pointless thought, a question that no one really needs the answer to and so on, and this time is about the best NRL mascot.
So for your consideration is our view on the best mascots, based on intelligence, nastiness, how dangerous they are human and animals split, fastest, and how many points you would get from the mascots name in scrabble.
Most of the help coming from list25.com – a great place to kill some time on the net.
CATEGORY 1 – MOST DANGEROUS HUMAN
Top 5 (Points 5-4-3-2-1)
5 – TITANS
4 – KNIGHTS
3 – WARRIORS
2 – RAIDERS
1 – COWBOYS
OVERALL WINNER OF THE BEST NRL MASCOT COMPETITION So here you have it, the top list of mascots – the big prize taken out by the Cowboys surprisingly. Being human helps, as we seem to be smart and lethal to ourselves.
The Six Pack is back after a little while off whilst we catch our breath on all the sport, here is another instalment of six of the finest in the most obscure or unimportant categories the F1 themed Driving paybacks.
This time it is about driving. The longer you spend on the roads, the more chance you have of coming across a jerk, someone dangerous, or just any of the most pig-ignorant inconsiderate wankers/wankettes on the road.
Here for your consideration are paybacks you can do without being too dangerous or illegal. As the F1 season has kicked off, we’ve given them an F1 theme, just to make them identifiable and “interesting”.
1 – THE PARADE LAP
Ever started entering a roundabout only to glance left at a car who appears to be approaching too fast to stop? If you don’t have to stop in the middle of the roundabout, you could try the parade lap. Move as far to the left as you make it around the roundabout, and at the slowest possible speed. Crawling speed is best and in keeping with a parade lap. Works best if you are turning right and they are going straight ahead.
2- THE SAFETY CAR
If the enemy car continues behind you at tailgating fashion, simply activate the virtual safety car which forces you to do no less than 10km/h under the speed limit for as long as the danger is in place. This is much preferable to the very unsafe and illegal Brake Test.
3 – THE STOP-GO PENALTY
If the enemy car is still behind you, and you’ve stopped at a set of traffic lights or a stop/give way sign, it is time for an impromptu Stop-Go penalty. All this requires is for you to stay stationary for an extra 5 seconds at the stoppage. Once underway, just check if the virtual safety car has ended first. You may have to continue under those conditions.
4 – THE DUMMY PITSTOP
Like in F1 where the pitcrews bring out tyres as a ruse to fool other teams into thinking a pit stop is imminent, if your enemy car is still annoying you and a left hand turn is approaching, you can try the Dummy Pit Stop. What this requires is you to indicate as early as possible for the left hand turn giving plenty of notice for the enemy car behind. But you don’t take that turn, nor do you slow down too much as the turn arrives. Simply drive on and turn the indicator off. This only applies to left hand turns as doing it for right hand turns could lead to an accident. Which we are trying to avoid.
5 – THE IRVINE BOX-IN
Like a famous moment in the 1997 season of F1 at Suzuka where Michael Schumacher boxed in his rival to allow Irvine to overtake him and the Williams in one move around the outside, you can use this tactic if the enemy remains behind, and on a multi lane road. All you have to do is legally catch up or drop back to the car in the lane beside you and maintain a position that doesn’t allow the enemy behind to be able to change lanes.
6 – THE REVERSE VETTEL
By now the enemy driver is probably fed up of your F1 tactics, and has stopped looking at their Facebook or Twitter updates long enough (easy to notice on the road people, your head bobs up and down more than a person who offers their services late at night) to perform some dangerous overtaking manoeuvre. All that remains is for you to turn the Vettel victory finger apply to the middle finger in the direction of your enemy. This should be the nice farewell gift for them.
Want more than chocolate eggs and a hangover this Easter, then please accept our Euro Super Multi.
Just $1 “wins” $161.
FRANCE – BORDEAUX to beat Lens
FRANCE – DRAW – Marseille v PSG
ITALY – FIORENTINA to beat Sampdoria
ITALY – JUVENTUS to beat Empoli
SPAIN – ATLETICO MADRID to beat Cordoba
SPAIN – REAL MADRID to beat Granada
SPAIN – ESPANYOL to beat Elche
SPAIN – MALAGA to beat Real Sociedad
GERMANY – WOLFSBURG to beat Stuttgart
GERMANY – OVER 2.5 GOALS – Dortmund v Bayern Munich
Here’s the rest of the games if you think you can do better.
UK football sure know what the punters want over Easter – plenty of football, and that’s what is on offer this weekend.
Half of the Championship and all of Leagues One and Two play on a very Good Friday. The rest and the big boys of the EPL enjoy their day out on Saturday. Then come Monday/Tuesday there’s part two of the fun – 3 more tiers of goodness.
An added bonus is the introduction of daylight savings in the UK meaning that 3am bedtime in Oz is now just a lazy 2am.
Enough rambling – there’s too many games to list and tips to give.
EPL
$1 Multi pays $23
MAN UTD to beat Aston Villa
CHELSEA to beat Stoke
WBA to beat QPR
DRAW – Everton v Southampton
SUNDERLAND to beat Newcastle
CHAMPIONSHIP (Friday)
$1 Multi pays $24
MIDDLESBROUGH to beat Wigan
IPSWICH to beat Bournemouth
DERBY to beat Watford
NOTTINGHAM FOREST to beat Wolves
CHAMPIONSHIP (Saturday)
$1 Multi pays $47
BOLTON to beat Blackpool
LEEDS to beat Blackburn
CARDIFF to beat Reading
DRAW – Sheff Wed v Huddersfield
LEAGUE ONE
$1 Multi pays $30
PRESTON to beat Rochdale
BRISTOL CITY to beat Oldham
GILLLINGHAM to beat Fleetwood
NOTTS COUNTY to beat Walsall
LEAGUE TWO
$1 Multi pays $43
DRAW – York v Cheltenham
SHREWSBURY to beat Dag & Red
WIMBLEDON to beat Northampton
WYCOMBE to beat Oxford
SOUTHEND to beat Mansfield
Round 5 already? Doesn’t time fly when you’re having fun. Well maybe some Sharks fans aren’t feeling the time slip away as fast, but before we know it, it will be State of origin time in the heartland of rugby league – Melbourne.
Talking of the Origin whilst we’re at it, the prices announced for the origin games in Sydney and Brisbane beggar belief for a game which prides itself on being the man on the street’s game. Anything other than a sold out Suncorp Stadium will be a good indication of where the public are with watching rugby league live. Premum game or not.
Maybe they should give a game to New Zealand, lord knows that deserve it as much as Melbourne. Either that or keep a game between two state in the two states rotating the 2 games. WHAT POSSIBLE THINGS DID WE LEARN FROM ROUND 4.
– South Sydney are not invincible, and do they miss John Sutton more than they realise. Also, the stoush between Sandow or Isaac Luke was good viewing.
– Despite all the negatives, golden point is a great way to finish games, with two games played on the weekend. It looks like it is here to stay, so we must put up with it, but does an NRL game really need to be decided by an extra time. We think no – but yes for all origins.
– Newcastle aren’t just early season smokies, they outplayed high flying Penrith, and looks the goods for a late season run if inujuries spare them the usual.
– Roosters v Canberra gave a good insight into either ends of the ladder come September, although the injury to Blake Ferguson is a concern, the Roosters are cruising. The Sharks – Titans match gave a very insight into dead last.
– Brisbane v NZ always produces great fixtures, and this time was no difference. Hopefully Channel 9 can bring themselves to give a few more sides a better go this year.
– NQ Cowboys are on the board with a win at the expense of Melbourn through some golden point magic from Johnathan Thurston. WHAT DOING THIS WEEK?
It’s getting late, so we haven’t got any previews available, but our friends at Nothing But League have plenty of Rugby Lgue news and views. Join them for the best in League on the web. Including some Queensland Cup news.
We’ll still provide our best bets for this weekend’s round.
So the looks like it is not going to be a total silver-wash in 2015 with Vettel in his Ferrari reminder one of a previous era when a German took victory after victory for the bright red cars.
As we are too lazy to go into any great depth, here’s our brief thoughts of the race.
– Times have changed if people are celebrating seeing the German Number 1 digit again. The Mercedes were totally outplayed by Ferrari, and Vettel outdrove the more fancied rivals in a glimpse of the why he was a 4 time World Champion.
– Vettel has timed his move to Ferrari to perfection, and no doubt had a smile on his face as he approached his former team Red Bull towards the end of the GP to lap them. Alonso too could be wondering what could have been after outperforming his cars for years at Maranello, and now needing to do just that at McLaren.
– Rosberg already looks like a defeated man with some strange radio contact during the week to go with inferior drives to his team mate in the first two races, and getting snippy with the next most likely Vettel.
– Kimi Raikkonen’s race went past with low fanfare, but his recovery to 4th after more early troubles show Kimi still has it and Ferrari are unlikely to be a one trick pony this season.
– Signs are looking more positive for McLaren and their Honda engine, as they battled towards the end of the midfield train during the race, and looked a far better proposition than the wheel barrow they turned up with for the first race.
– Huzzah for Manor and somehow they made it to the finish. A huge effort for a team not far off having their assets sold at auction before the season started.
MAN OF THE RACE
Sometimes the drivers points aren’t the best reflection on what was achieved, so we’ll put our five cents on offer each race and tally them up for the year for our driver of the year.
MALAYSIA POINTS
VETTEL – 5 points
KIMI – 4 points
HAMILTON – 3 points
VERSTAPPEN – 2 points
SAINZ – 1 point
After sitting through the Australian GP, and watching this evening’s qualifying we can only pray for rain at some point tomorrow.
As per last season and last race Mercedes holds the considerable advantage in the dry, however the gap doesn’t look quite as big with Ferrari making some inroads. Highlighted by Vettel almost snatching the first non-Mercedes pole since Felipe Massa in Austria last year.
Thankfully the race time has been moved forward this year so if it does rain it won’t be race ending.
QUALIFYING RESULTS
Pos
Driver
Car
Time
Gap
1
Lewis Hamilton
Mercedes
1m49.834s
–
2
Sebastian Vettel
Ferrari
1m49.908s
0.074s
3
Nico Rosberg
Mercedes
1m50.299s
0.465s
4
Daniel Ricciardo
Red Bull/Renault
1m51.541s
1.707s
5
Daniil Kvyat
Red Bull/Renault
1m51.950s
2.116s
6
Max Verstappen
Toro Rosso/Renault
1m51.980s
2.146s
7
Felipe Massa
Williams/Mercedes
1m52.473s
2.639s
8
Valtteri Bottas
Williams/Mercedes
1m53.179s
3.345s
9
Marcus Ericsson
Sauber/Ferrari
1m53.260s
3.426s
10
Romain Grosjean
Lotus/Mercedes
1m52.980s
3.146s
11
Kimi Raikkonen
Ferrari
1m42.173s
–
12
Pastor Maldonado
Lotus/Mercedes
1m42.197s
–
13
Nico Hulkenberg
Force India/Mercedes
1m43.022s
–
14
Sergio Perez
Force India/Mercedes
1m43.468s
–
15
Carlos Sainz
Toro Rosso/Renault
1m43.700s
–
16
Felipe Nasr
Sauber/Ferrari
1m41.308s
–
17
Jenson Button
McLaren/Honda
1m41.635s
–
18
Fernando Alonso
McLaren/Honda
1m41.745s
–
19
Roberto Merhi
Marussia/Ferrari
1m46.677s
–
20
Will Stevens
Marussia/Ferrari
–
–
WHAT TO LOOK OUT FOR THE RACE
– If it is dry, can Hamilton break Rosberg’s heart so early in the season?
– Can the Ferrari pace hold up on raceday.
– Will the medium tyres die in the arse in the Malaysian heat.
– Can a Marussia/Manor finish, and if they do will there be a McLaren behind it?
– Who will win the McLaren poison chalice head to head.
– Was the Sauber form from Oz a fluke?
– Can Kimi care enough to come through the pack from 11th.
– Which car will the Lotus’ be involved with at first corner?
BEST BETS FOR THE RACE
1st Retirement – Pastor Maldonaldo $11.50 or Marcus Ericsson $15.25
Points Finish – Nico Hulkenburg – $2.40
Top 6 Finish – Max Verstappen – $2.75
Win – Lewis Hamilton – $1.33 (very brave)
Double Points Finish – McLaren No – $1.02
Driver Classified (Finish within 10%) – Alonso – No – $2.10
International break week, whilst there’s plenty of international games to look over, the UK Football’s top 2 divisions take a break.
Like the Greyhound during the horse flu outbreak, it’s the third and fourth divisions time to take the centre stage of UK Football. Not that they don’t deserve it, there’s plenty of good teams, good players and good stories to be told.
The story of the third division League One at the top end of the table is all about Bristol City. They’ve won the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy, which is the knockout cup for the two lowest tiers, and are 10 points ahead in first place. With another 3 points back to 3rd they will be close to automatic promotion with another few wins.
Behind them are the three teams who have been close at times, and all have gone on great runs of form, but none have sustained to the degree of Bristol City. Perennial Top 6 teams, and regular Championship visitors Sheffield United and Peterborough are currently hanging onto the last playoff positions. Peterborough in particular have pulled themselves out of a big drop in form and have a very good recent strike rate of promotion through the playoffs. Outside of those team the revived Barnsley and Rochdale are the only other likely teams to push for promotion.
Down the other end of the ladder it is a very tight battle for the bottom four spots and relegation to League Two. Yeovil are the most likely to drop, making it successive relegations after their surprise promotion to the Championship the year before that. They are 5 points adrift of second last. From that second last position to 17th is only 5 points, and 21st to 17th is just one point. Amongst that group is the playoff losers from last year Leyton Orient, and a former FA Cup winner Coventry City. Notts County have just sacked their manager, so those dead manager bounce wins might be the saver for them.
In League Two, Burton Albion are the pick of the bunch, with big name manager Jimmy Floyd Hasselbank leading the charge as they sit 5 points clear of the rest with 8 games to go. The next two have been the next most consistent with the best home team Shrewsbury against the best away team. These three should be safe for promotion.
Behind that is Bury, one of the favourites for the title have turned around some ordinary form to move into 4th albeit 9 points behind the leader. Southend, Luton, Plymouth and Stevenage are the next contenders for the playoffs spaces.
Down the bottom Hartlepool have now won their last three and have dragged themselves within 1 point of safety after looking like they were gone a few months ago. It is bad news for the teams around them as they will now be looking over their shoulders.
That’s enough catch up for now. You need some fixtures and tips, and that’s exactly what you’ll get below.
[soccer-info id=’21’ type=’fixtures’ style=’blue_light’ title=’LEAGUE ONE GAMES’ limit=’12’ /]
[soccer-info id=’22’ type=’fixtures’ style=’red_light’ title=’LEAGUE TOW GAMES’ limit=’12’ /]
LEAGUE ONE MULTI $18
PETERBOROUGH to beat Coventry
SHEFFIELD UTD to beat Crewe
ROCHDALE to beat Yeovil
BRADFORD or DRAW v Oldham
NOTTS COUNTY to beat Scunthorpe
LEAGUE TWO MULTI $30
HARTLEPOOL to beat Cambridge
BURY to beat Southend
NORTHAMPTON to beat Luton
WYCOMBE to beat Dagenham & Redbridge
Welcome to our hopefully weekly wrap and look forward into the NRL.
ROUND 3 THOUGHTS
The Broncos put on some kind of show on Friday night, which is a good thing since Queensland has no choice but to watch the Broncos every Friday night. Anything would have been an improvement on the previous week’s game against the Sharks.
Whilst the Broncos have turned around the opening night pantsing by Souths, the Cowboys are looking worse, and their upcoming draw gives them little chance to turn it around. Games against Melbourne (H), Panthers (A), and Souths (A) aren’t the type of fixtures a team needs to turn things around. Not that they would beat any team in the NRL at the moment.
Maybe people are too hard on the Cowboys they aren’t the only team 0-3 in NRL history, but with their squad they should have got close to another Grand Final by now, instead of their annual controversial exit. And that exit could be helped by finishing in the Top 4, a feat that looks increasing unlikely, especially if they are 0-6 in three weeks time.
The Canberra – Dragons game was a shopping window into which coach will be the first sacked this year. Ricky Stuart is always a good chance with a lack of results and a unmatched grumpiness.
The Wests Tigers looked very good at times against Souths, and with their young squad could be the Penrith of 2014 surprise packets of 2015. Souths also showed why they are one of the front runners this year, as they did just enough to beat the Tigers. Dylan Walker was also inspirational playing with an injury for most of the match, a good sign of team harmony.
Two games had very ordinary video referee decisions this weekend as the Gold Coast and Panthers were hard done by with decisions against them. Whilst the decisions were early enough to fight back, it is an alarming effort form those involved and leaves fans with no faith in the system, and so early in the year it is not a good sign. More communications from the referees are needed including admitting when a mistake has been made, as with most things in life you can learn from mistakes, but like the NRL in most things, they rarely admit mistakes, and continue to make them.
More off field incidents also don’t help Maybe the NRL needs some fresh blood.
LOOKING FORWARD TO ROUND 4
Nice to have a Friday night free of the Broncos, Souths v Eels should provide plenty of action.
The smart rearranging of the NRL on Sunday is a great move by Channel 9 giving the lounge lizard another option for sloth on Sunday. Plus NZ v Broncos games are always entertaining and tough, and without the rescheduling it’d be a Fox special.
Sharks v Titans is a real preview to the wooden spoon for 2015.
WANT SOME QUEENSLAND CUP NEWS? WANT MORE NRL NEWS?
Welcome back to our weekly sporting review Circling the Drain where we pick our favourite bits from the weekend and look forward to what’s good for the weekend.
SHORT AND SWEET THE RIGHT INGREDIENT TO MAKE A LEAGUE INTERESTING.
Controversy in the A League this week, when the wild weather is Brisbane claimed the remaining 20 or so minutes of the A League game between Brisbane and Wellington. The home side were less than impressed that at 2-1 down to the Pheonix when the rains came and washed away the match, they were the official losers.
The decision is a rare one, but technically correct according to the rules. But instead of using it as a negative, maybe the boffins at A League HQ could think outside the square to Cosby up the ALeague.
If the rule is that once the second half has started whatever the score is at the time of declaring the game stopped, maybe the A League could introduce a new rule where the second half could finish at any time. For fairness give a two minute whistle to give them a heads up rather than just shut up shop immediately.
Think about it, how many games have plunged into boredom until the opposition scores and the other side finally wake up and realise they need a goal to win or draw. Imagine then, a second half where both sides won’t be sure when the games ends until a two minute warning goes off. It will be attacking football galore, and something for the fans. Well, except for Sunderland fans who would have already left by the time the second half starts.
FOOTBALL PRE GAME THEATRE
One thing that has been on the mind of The Gurgler is how good enjoyable it is to get in the mood of football games with the footage of the pre game wait in the tunnel.
Instead of the traditional boo the opposition for no reason, and the home team being led out by fifteen sponsor mascots and cheerleaders, there’s something to be said for both teams walking out in a ceremonial march, and the pre games tension or banter depending on the depth of the hatred of the two teams.
Although the holding of kids hands out to the middle is overkill, and even more so is the large FIFA banners behind them with the usual pot kettle message about how great football is and which of the world’s ills it can cure. FIFA quite simply shouldn’t be telling anyone what to do given their dealings and shenanigans, worst of which is the many migrant workers being killed to build stadiums in Qatar for a World Cup that no one outside the Qataris and a few well paid FIFA executives want.
Come to think of it, it is starting to sound a bit pretentious. How about a compromise. Two mascots from either side in a boxing/wrestling match just before the players walk out, and they walk behind a nominated FIFA member who the crowd can boo, and then the players come out and stand in front of a banner made by the kids instead of having their hands held onto the pitch.
US TO BID FOR 2026 FOOTBALL WORLD CUP
Whilst on the FIFA boo-wagon, nice to see the US stating that they are looking to apply to host the 2026 World Cup. One of the points of the double ballot for 2018 and 2022 was so that the countries who applied couldn’t apply for another 30 years or something equally or slightly less ridiculous.
No surprise then with a smell of US Dollars wafting under the snouts of FIFA that it is no problem for the US to throw their sizeable hat in the ring. It would be a good World Cup, and judging on their support of the 2014 it would be great, however hopefully Australia or someone in our time zone like Japan who also missed out last time are allowed to have a chance before most of the people that are alive to remember the Qatar World Cup are dead.
RUGBY LEAGUE OFF TO A GOOD START
It was one of those off season where rugby league wanted the season to hurry up and start, maybe they hurried it too much.
On the field in the last round there were two clear video referee decisions that were wrong. Previous to that a player can continue to smash a much smaller halfback for zero weeks suspension. Then off the field a nice punch up between some players, and the fact that star players can sign for other clubs after two rounds has given League plenty of things to explain. Not that referees would, as they are a protected specie who never have to own up to errors.
Rugby League needs a clean out, hopefully in time for the next TV rights review so we have some people with the whole of Rugby League, not just Channel 9 in mind.
More on League tomorrow with the Return of Kick to Come weekly League talk.
BEST
MARTIN GUPTIL’s DOUBLE HUNDRED v WINDIES
TOWNSVILLE BLACKHAWKS SMASH PREMIERS IN QLD CUP
CRYSTAL PALACE’S STYLE
BLURST NQ COWBOYS
Forgot that to avoid shit finals decisions you should first make the finals and then the Top 4. Both may not be a problem in current form.
BIGGEST GAME
Barcelona 2 Real Madrid 1
The biggest spenders in world sport in the biggest game of the year in Spain.
SURPRISE BIG GAME
The Johnstone’s Paint Trophy is a knockout Cup for just the third and fourth division football teams in England. Somehow they got 72,000 to watch two third div teams Bristol City and Walsall play. Almost as many as the NRL Grand Final. For the record Bristol City took the game 2-0 to go with their pending promotion back to the Championship.
Here’s a Round Up of the best of what’s on offer this weekend for the sports nut, and casual sporting viewer alike.
THURSDAY
CRICKET WORLD CUP SEMI #2
AUSTRALIA v INDIA
Winner to play New Zealand in the final.
FRIDAY
NRL – PARRAMATTA V SOUTHS
SATURDAY
V8’s in TASMANIA
F1 – MALAYSIAN GP QUALIFYING
NRL – SUPER SATURDAY
SUNDAY
BIG SPORTS DAY – CLEAR YOUR SCHEDULE NOW AND PREAPRE FOR SPORTING SLOTH
10:30AM – NRL – NZ v BRISBANE (CH9)
12:25PM – V8’s – TASMANIA RACE 6 (FOX 5)
1:00PM – CRICKET WORLD CUP FINAL (CH9 or FOX 3)
1:30PM – RUGBY LEAGUE – QLD CUP – NORTHS V REDCLIFFE (GEM)
1:00PM – NRL – ROOSTERS v CANBERRA
2:00PM – A LEAGUE MATCHES
3:30PM – F1 MALAYSIAN GP – PRE RACE HYPE AND RACE
WOW, there’s some serious lounge time there.
TIME FOR A SUPER MULTI = it’s been too long.
CRICKET – AUSTRALIA to beat India
NRL – WESTS TIGERS to beat Bulldogs
FOOTBALL – UNDER 2.5 GOALS – SCOTLAND v NTH IRELAND
FOOTBALL – OVER 2.5 GOALS – GERMANY v AUSTRALIA
FOOTBALL – OVER 2.5 GOALS – DENMARK v USA
FOOTBALL – GEORGIA to beat Malta
FOOTBALL – ENGLAND to beat Lithuania
FOOTBALL – DRAW Slovakia v Luxembourg
Like the rest of this bit, the Ticket to Ride returns. It is an attempt to having a rolling $1 bet over a minimum of 5 weeks. Our best “streak” thus far = 1 week.
THIS WEEK’S BET
F1 – NICO HULKENBURG TO FINISH TOP 6 @ $17
