Rugby league’s first big night of the season is done and dusted so the Wooden Spooners have a special edition of their unique look back on rugby league with the State Of Origin Game 1 Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the State Of Origin Game 1 Headlines gives the extra insight in the big games that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and please contact our Legal team or Buzz Rothfield aka Hans Moleman for complaints.
JUST THREE TO GO….
Fox League/Kayo regulars are counting down the three remaining rugby league games they have to suffer on Channel Nein this year.
Occasionally these people are called Fox League snobs, but it only takes about 15 seconds of the intro to realise just how bad it is, and sadly for Channel Nein a yardstick and the progress of the coverage.
One email we received from a fan stated “I’m not sure if the Channel Nein coverage has gotten worse, or I’ve just become more cynical. Probably both, but leaning more towards the latter.”
Then there were the ads. More on that soon.
And while the Ray Warren tribute was nice and well deserved, like a good referee (not Ashley Klein) they should be unnoticed. Thankfully most of the Channel Nein FIFO viewer have no idea who actually called the game.
Although they may have picked up the repeated mentions of how intense a game this, much like a needy dog looking for pats.
In a snap poll on Twitter by our website 0.1% of the respondents stated they would be watching more than the minimum four games on Channel Nein this season, 2% said they would watch less than four game in an admirable piece of stubbornness, and 110% said they would be watching four and four only. We are looking into the poll results, and believe there has been a sporting cliche filter added in error.
It’s easy to bash Channel Nein, and to also consistently spell their name incorrect, and we will, but they also make it easy to bash them. Much like the Channel Nein Cricket Commentary team, which was the most hated Australian Sporting team in the world behind Collingwood, Channel Nein rugby league continue to operate under the belief they have the god given right to broadcast origin and know what they’re doing. Wednesday’s broadcast, which was the ultimate in style over substance proves they are on the same slide as the cricket. Although are lucky enough to not have a Michael Slater to hasten the decline.
INTERVIEWING A COACH AS HIS TEAM ARE DEFENDING IN THEIR OWN 20 METRE ZONE IS A BAD IDEA AND SHIT TV
The current Origin coaches, and especially Brad Fittler have been very generous with their time during Origin series and broadcasts, but who the hell knows why they decided to cross to the NSW coach as Queensland attacked their line.
The cross was met with the appropriate amount of distracted coach who was actually engrossed in how his team were going rather than talking to the world.
Quickly someone worked out that it was time to do something better, but just another insight in why Channel Nein are so crap.
IS KATY PERRY SHORT OF CASH?
It was always going to be a hard watch for Fox League snobs, but the Channel Nein mantra of “Too Many Ads Is Barely Enough” was even worse than anticipated. Especially in the long, long pre-game hype section.
Whilst wondering why Gus was doing the voiceover for Billy the Kid (would have made more sense to get Billy Slater to do it) and the Johns brothers McDonalds ads were reasonably low shelf, the Katy Perry all-singing, all-dancing extravaganza was the pinnacle of pain.
One wonder why on earth someone who has sold 48 million albums somehow and 135 million singles (according to Wikipedia) would need to dress up in various pieces of food.
Barry Smythe from Horse Flogging Marketing explains “Katy Perry is an international brand, and a household name, so why wouldn’t you use her to promote anything.” Which didn’t really explain why a music superstar would need to sell food delivery.
Nor do we care much more to dive deeper.
A JOHN FARNHAM REFERENCE EH?
As much as we have said that the commentary went relatively unnoticed, one particular phrase caught our attention.
When Jeremiah Nanai returned to the field after what looked like a match ending injury, the commentator whose name escapes us says “It’s the biggest comeback since John Farnham”.
It that doesn’t tell you the audience Channel Nein are going for then nothing else will.
SO IT’S OK TO SHOW SOMEONE’S EXACT MOMENT OF INJURY IN SLOW MOTION BUT NOT OTHER THINGS
Speaking of Jeremiah Nanai’s injury, we have always wondered why the broadcasters (both Subscription and Shit) feel the need to slow down the replay of an injured player to the exact moment of pain.
Funny then that Channel Nein, and others, won’t show streakers because of copycats, or limited fan interaction in case there is a finger directed at the camera or mouthed swear words, yet it is fine to show gruesome injuries. Perhaps Channel Nein should be worried about copycats for injuries too.
Perhaps they’d like a slow motion replay of our pain point last night. It was the exact moment the thumb had pressed the required digits to force Channel Nein onto our TV.
It also didn’t stop Channel Nein doing a split screen ad just to ensure the pain and ad count remained high.
ORIGIN FAN HAS UNEXPLAINED CRAVING FOR KFC
One fan watching the first State of Origin revealed exclusively to the Wooden Spooners that they ended up with an unexplained craving for KFC during the broadcast.
As intense as the game was, it didn’t match the intensity for Popcorn Chicken and a Zinger burger meal for a guy who is calling himself Dave-o.
Barry Smythe from Horse Flogging Marketing explains that the situation was a win for broadcasters and their commercial partners. Even though the Johns brothers McDonalds ad was flogged during the broadcast. We couldn’t be bothered using the generic quote this time.
Upon further research, perhaps it wasn’t all done to commercial reasons, as brief look at the photos posted to “Dave-O’s social media show a lot of empty Orange Juice bottles, despite his claims he is a Tomra recycling junkie, and his garden hose now measures just over a metre.
IN OTHER HEADLINES……
CAMERON SMITH’S PROFESSIONAL AND UNBIASED COMMENTARY THE HIGHLIGHT OF ORIGIN ONE
QUEENSLANDERS HATING DALY CHERRY-EVANS LESS WITH EACH WIN
GUS GOULD TAKES ORIGIN LOSS WITH THE USUAL GRACE
PENRITH SAVE THEIR WORST PERFORMANCE OF THE SEASON FOR NSW
