Ducking for cover like a Melbourne Storm Assistant Coach, in training for the next mascot race, rejecting any future playing contracts under $2M per season, and refusing to play most positions and play in reserve grade, it’s time for some Rugby League tips and opinion from The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey. The NRL Donkey provides his NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Finals Series Week 1 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
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NRL Finals Series Week 1 Rant
The NRL Finals series is finally here, and like most fans can’t wait for it to get started. Although that 50 point conceded rule/stat that strikes off teams from winning a premiership ruins the fun a little as you know which teams aren’t going to win. One of them is the Roosters, so I don’t mind there.
It feels like just yesterday I was bored shitless watching the Bulldogs and Dragons play in Las Vegas, and here we are 27 rounds later getting into the sharp end. It has been a year of interruptions like the Football World Cup and the various coaches and heads of government who actively sabotaged their own teams. Or their own sport in the case of some. So it has been hard to keep up.
Talking of sabotage, rugby league has The Bunker to keep itself not too far away from controversy and tedium throughout 2026, some decisions so bad you just can’t wait until the end of the season and cross your fingers that the Video Referee/Referees don’t try and ruin the finals too. Although the NRL only have themselves to blame for that and the fact Ashley Klown still gets the notable games to ref. Maybe like the kick off rule, teams can decide pre-match whether they want the bunker setup for their game.
Almost adding the same amount of value as The Bunker is the NRL management and their constant tinkering of rules. Rugby League is a simple game and should be run simply. I mean, the overall running of rugby league could be worse, look at the Wests Tigers and Brisbane Broncos for sporting organisations that are have outdone themselves in mediocrity off the field this season, but the rule tinkering needs to end.
The War in Iran isn’t necessarily a rugby league concern, but it does provide an opportunity to promote of range of Ray Stone Comics, as one outlines how Ray ended the Iran War with an icy stare. The full list is below, and although we know he’d hate having the attention on him, click on a link just to annoy him.
But with oil prices continuing to go up and no end of the War in Iran in sight because the person in charge is too busy posting heroics stories about themselves, you’d have to wonder why the NRL would move Cronulla’s game to another venue.
No matter how bad the home ground, how feral the local fans are, and which unlikeable politician lives closest nearby, the team that finished in the top 4 and next two best deserve the reward of playing wherever they want.
No that I feel too sorry for the Sharks, or Sydney teams in general as they do far less travelling over the season than the non Sydney teams. Sydney teams are averaging 18.7 games in Sydney this season. So just over five games this season on average the Sydney teams.
FRIDAY 7:50PM – SOUTH SYDNEY v NEWCASTLE @ Allianz Stadium
The only game that could kick off the finals I guess. Well you can’t have the best game Warriors v Dolphins kicking off in New Zealand at 10pm. And Channel Nein had to save the only all Sydney match for the Sunday timeslot, as we presume is part of their deal to ruin rugby league. And you can’t start the 2026 NRL Finals off with Cronulla v North Queensland as that game is the most likely to be rubbish.
Souths have ridden the wave of positivity with Jai Arrow earning 100 appearances for the Rabbitohs, so should beat Newcastle this weekend if the vibes are a big factor, which they are. Although they made reasonably hard work of a 50-20 win, Latrell is back and will only be more deadly this week. Although the young Roosters half will be hoping to the benefit of every other player this weekend that Latrell isn’t too much more deadly. I’m sure very few Knights will be lining up for a tackle like Trell served up last weekend. Except for Bradman Best, he seems like he’d enjoy the battle.
Newcastle aren’t hopeless though, they were good with 12 men against the Warriors last game, and had a rest thanks to a bye last weekend. I do wonder if all the emotion of the last few weeks catches up with the Rabbitohs and Newcastle start well.
Either way, hopefully it is as good a game as the one earlier in the season where about 1,000 points were scored.
Newcastle by 4
SATURDAY 4:05PM – WARRIORS v DOLPHINS @ Mt Smart Stadium
Even if I didn’t love both teams, which I do, I’d still be the most excited about this finals match. So much to offer for fans and neutrals alike.
As ever I declare that anyone who doesn’t wish the Warriors success this finals series hates rugby league, and if you hate the way the Dolphins play then I presume you also hate rugby league and should apply to be a writer for Fo Sports immediately.
It’s a bit of a win-win for everyone. I’m sure although Warriors and Dolphins fans would prefer to win, I’m confident either sets of fans won’t mind the other doing well. And neutrals should be happy with either too. And hey, they can always meet in a Grand Final in a few weeks time
Of course each Dolphins game is a week closer to the end of the rugby league career of Ray Stone, and indeed the rugby league community and potentially the whole of Australia will miss the hard tackles, the snarling aggression, the unwanted tries, and the pinpoint decoy runs. So many decoy runs. But this donkey found out this week that Ray Stone is considering and hopeful of a move into either MMA or Boing. Perfect. I was always of the belief that Ray Stone was kept in a cage during the week in between games, released only to train, eat and receive the pain needles he demands and enjoys. So making money out of being in a cage is the best thing he can do, given he does the cage for free now anyway.
But there’ll be no cage at Mt Smart Stadium on Saturday, just potentially one of the best crowd atmospheres of the season. And hopefully one of the best games.
Dolphins by 4
SATURDAY 7:50PM – CRONULLA v NORTH QUEENSLAND @ Allianz Stadium
Probably not a bad advertisement for the Wildcard Round this game, because sometimes one of those teams in 9th or 10th have charged into finals contention in the final weeks of the season and only just missed out, and they might be in better form like these two underwhelming sides.
That’s probably being harsh on both teams, but not really. Since Round 22 these teams have combined for four wins and seven losses, and just two of those games have been against eventual top eight sides. One game was Cronulla’s win over South Sydney, their only win in their last five, and the other game was the Cowboys 82-10 loss to the Roosters.
Given the form background, the fact the Cowboys are playing who bring little away support, although I’d still watch out for Bob Katter lurking because he probably hates sharks as much as crocodiles, you’d have to question why the NRL bothered to move the game from Shark Park to Allianz Stadium. Probably better to have a full house in the Shire rather than a quarter full SFS.
It really is a hard one to pick and to get too invested in, but knowing the next game for the winners will be against the Roosters, it might be more interesting if the Cowboys win to see if the Roosters can be the first team to score 100 points on a game given the match not long ago in the regular season.
North Qld by 6
SUNDAY 4:05PM – PENRITH v ROOSTERS @ CommBank Stadium
When these teams last met if felt like the Roosters were on their way to a dynasty-busting minor premiership, and if it wasn’t the Roosters relief that a team other than Penrith would win the comp, but they’ve lost three in a row since and very few like the cut of their jib.
We will see whether resting most of your side the week before the finals will work as badly as it did for Canberra in 2025.
Penrith remain rugby league’s machine, a relentless foe like the bad Terminator from Terminator 2. Even when broken into pieces like Penrith have due to salary cap pressures, the Panthers rejoin like that liquid metal in the T2 movie. Their premiership window will shut when the PNG Chiefs enter the competition, so they’ll be more determined than ever to win.
If this game wasn’t on a Sunday you might give the Roosters a chance, but there are so many great stats for Penrith winning on a Sunday that there’s only one choice for the win.
Penrith by 20
READ MORE: THE GURGLER’S FULL NRL 2026 GEAR
We’ve been working hard for you to bring you the 2026 NRL Season Previews from every angle and angel possible. But never Jo Angel.
NRL DONKEY’S 2026 SEASON PREVIEW
BOLD NRL 2026 SEASON PREDICTIONS
CAPTAIN HINDSIGHT’S SENSIBLE NRL 2026 SEASON PREDICTIONS
WHY YOUR TEAM CAN’T WIN THE 2026 NRL PREMIERSHIP
NRL 2026 RATINGS PREDICTIONS
2026 NRL JERSEY RATINGS WITH AI GREK NORMAN
2026 NRL DRAW ANALYSIS
2026 NRL DRAW ANALYSIS – TEAM BY TEAM
THE A TO Z OF THE 2025 NRL SEASON
