Ducking for cover like a Melbourne Storm assistant coach, slightly better than the Bunker for most things, attempting to sell himself to PNG to get some of that sweet sweet Government-Free moolah, asking the nearest president to overturn his ban at the local RSL for a drunken walk through a fountain, and playing out of position for the good of the team, it’s time for some Rugby League tips and opinion from The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey. The NRL Donkey provides his NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 27 Review & Ratings on the weekend of rugby league that was.
This NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 27 Review & Ratings is somewhat new now and offers up a second serving of NRL Donkey rugby league in a week. Why would the world need twice the NRL Donkey? First of all, how rude. Secondly, because no one delivers rugby league with such an honest, almost churlish attitude, not afraid to tell rugby league what he thinks. Sort of like Pauline Hanson but with none of the racism. The NRL Donkey hates everything and everyone equally. And now he gives it with both barrels – and both ends of a rugby league weekend in the NRL, with a review with a match by match thoughts and a preview with all the opinion and more.
Related – more serious Rugby League gear
NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 27 Review
Here’s the NRL Donkey’s thoughts and mini rants on all of the games from the previous weekend.
THURSDAY 8PM – BULLDOGS 20 BRISBANE 34
How bad are the Bulldogs making the Broncos look that good. Maybe by this time net year the Bulldogs are playing all the players in the right positions like everyone other than the head coach, and we also presume Cameron Ciraldo think otherwise. Whilst the Broncos signed off with a win, and Payne Haas played a decent game after doing a Luai for a large chunk of the second half of the season, the game in Townsville should have caught their eye. The halfback tearing it up on debut was their player until they went ahead and signed a halfback a season in advance. You’d think a club with so much foresight could see their way to a decent farewell for key players and not a KIA ad, or that Michael Maguire is a coach best released straight after a win.
FRIDAY 6PM – GOLD COAST 20 DOLPHINS 24
Although it would have made him etreemly unhappy, it was great to see Ray Stone scoring a try before he calls time on his way-too-short NRL career. It’s funny that something who brings so much pain to himself brings so much joy for the Dolphins fans, and Ray Stone well-wishers. At least there’s a minimum two more games for Ray, and he’d better be on that bench or else.
Also, the latest Ray Stone Comic is available – Ray Stone vs Retirement.
FRIDAY 8PM – SOUTH SYDNEY 50 ROOSTERS 20
What a game. Souths, and everyone involved at the ground and in the crowd doing right by Jai Arrow in a magical rugby league moment. If you can get Wayne Bennett out of his hate cave during a match you’ve done something special. And feeling the moment, Spencer Leniu put on an entertaining show that you can imagine Jai Arrow would have loved. Leniu to be fair played up well to the crowd and it was good stuff from the bench, unlike most of his on field contributions. Good finals warm up for Souths, although it was one of the least convincing 30 point wins I’ve seen.
SATURDAY 3PM – WARRIORS 31 MANLY 30
The Wahs almost slipped up here, and I do wonder if that’s a sign that they may not handle the pressure and expectation of this year’s finals. Hopefully they do, Warriors winning is good for rugby league. Always.
SATURDAY 5:30PM – NORTH QUEENSLAND 30 CANBERRA 50
Not a great warm up for the finals for North Queensland by confirming their non-Premiership credentials with another 50 points bag against them. And against a side with nothing to play for except the wrath of Ricky Stuart. But since it’s the Cowboys, they are just as likely to win in the first week of the finals. But for Canberra, they may have more halves than they know what to do with. Some debut for Coby Black.
SATURDAY 7:30PM – CRONULLA 20 MELBOURNE 24
Decent effort from Cronulla after resting players. Decent effort from Craig Bellamy in the coaches box with so many frustrating moments. Although, like Bellamy, I would have enjoyed the game had I only seen the last two minutes.
SUNDAY 2PM – ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA 24 PARRAMATTA 22
Two bottom four teams duking it out for our amusement on a Sunday, and it wasn’t a bad finish. Unlike their 2026 ladder position. But actual hope for both teams with patches of non-hopelessness in the second half of the season. Problem is, who are they going to be better than in 2027? Recruitment says Dragons look the most upwardly mobile.
SUNDAY 4PM – PENRITH 38 WESTS TIGERS 10
Such a 2026 way to end the season. Penrith earning respect but also boring folks to death with their ruthless efficiency, and the Wests Tigers losing and not looking likely. Hard to believe the Tigers spent five weeks in the top four and were second to Penrith one week. We could blame it on Luai signing for the Chiefs, but we love PNG rugby league and respect the ferocity of their fans. Just another bo ticker and Minor Premiership for the Panthers.
NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 27 Ratings
The Gurgler website is famed for the many, many stats and visuals on offer, and think they’re really clever, and the NRL Donkey was feeling a little left out.
But of course the NRL Donkey doesn’t want to celebrate the good, his cynicism won’t allow it, so he has found two ways to celebrate the mediocre. The first is taking The Gurgler’s all-new Player Ratings system, where stats are used to determine a player score out of ten, and flipping it’s on it’s head by taking the worst scores in each position. Secondly, he has devised a way of seeing which players was the worst contributor, coming up with a points system for all manners of errors, penalties, missed tackles, and gave it the subtle title of the Sh!t Play Inde.
Plus AI Greg is here for his best of from the weekend.
NRL Donkey’s Stats – Not Quite Team of the Week
Here are the lowest ranked players per position to create the Not Quite Team of the Week.
NRL Donkey’s Stats – Sh!t Play Index
Compiling missed tackles, penalties, errors on a sliding scale, here are the top 10 most “influential” players this weekend and the “best” for season 2026.
