Ducking for cover like a Melbourne Storm assistant coach, slightly better than the Bunker for most things, attempting to sell himself to PNG to get some of that sweet sweet Government-Free moolah, asking the nearest president to overturn his ban at the local RSL for a drunken walk through a fountain, and playing out of position for the good of the team, it’s time for some Rugby League tips and opinion from The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey. The NRL Donkey provides his NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 26 Review & Ratings on the weekend of rugby league that was.
This NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 26 Review & Ratings is somewhat new now and offers up a second serving of NRL Donkey rugby league in a week. Why would the world need twice the NRL Donkey? First of all, how rude. Secondly, because no one delivers rugby league with such an honest, almost churlish attitude, not afraid to tell rugby league what he thinks. Sort of like Pauline Hanson but with none of the racism. The NRL Donkey hates everything and everyone equally. And now he gives it with both barrels – and both ends of a rugby league weekend in the NRL, with a review with a match by match thoughts and a preview with all the opinion and more.
Related – more serious Rugby League gear
- NRL Round 26 NRL Team of the Week
- NRL Round 26 NRL Weekly Stats & One Minute Match Reviews
- NRL Round 25 NRL NRL Donkey Preview and Rant
NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 26 Review
Here’s the NRL Donkey’s thoughts and mini rants on all of the games from the previous weekend.
THU 8PM – BRISBANE 20 MELBOURNE 46
It’s hard to know what was more disappointing, the Broncos lame effort in their final home game, or the preceding week before the game with the back and forths over who’s fault it was that Adam Reynolds was getting no final curtain call, or the post-game <<<<KIA AD>>>>.
Hey, my rant on the Broncos game was stopped for some reason, it better not happen ag<<<KIA AD>>>.
Stop that. It’s not just Adam Reynolds though, Payne Haas deserved a better <<<KIA AD>>>. Although, the Broncos downturn in form is probably his fault, as they went truly backwards after he signed for South Sydney for <<<KIA AD>>>, and Haas hardly set the world on fire post-announcement.
The loss wasn’t to the all-powerful Storm we’ve come to know and barely like, it is a Storm side being torn apart by injuries and player movement, much like a <<<KIA AD>>>.
Before I’m interrupted again, the Broncos should hang their heads in shame at their disgraceful week of incompetent boobery. On and off field. <<<KIA AD>>>.
FRI 6PM – MANLY 44 ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA 10
Fozball is back, two weeks in a row of victory and exactly 44 points, it just took a little turbo charging. What wouldn’t work better with more turbo. Maybe a hot air balloon. As for the Dragons, I guess they’re last for a reason – they’ve lost the most games.
FRI 8PM – PENRITH 24 BULLDOGS 10
Penrith are starting to get serious now, going back to their best of winning by being the best team to mechanically action all their plays and plans. The Bulldogs gave them a push for a while, and you do wonder how on earth they missed the finals. A good drinking game if you can do it without naming Gus Gould and Lachlan Galvin. Fox League would be drunk for a month.
SAT 3PM – GOLD COAST 22 SOUTH SYDNEY 42
One of the great rugby league moments where even this cynical donkey was trying desperately to hide the tears from the fellow animals here in the barn. And one that will be replayed a million times. Congratulations to South Sydney for pulling this event off, and to the Titans for allowing the event as well, in addition to gifting the Rabbitohs the first. Must be hard for Titans, as if they wanted to win and spoil the party.
SAT 5:30PM – ROOSTERS 12 DOLPHINS 26
The Dolphins played their best game of the season, continuing their great record in Sydney in 2026, and doing the double over the Roosters. They even did it with 11 players on the field at one stage. The Dolphins have been getting by with playing great for 15-20 periods either side of the main break but on Saturday served up 80 minutes of tough stuff, and the attack that most enjoy.
But more importantly, the game gave us one more moment of Ray Stone magic. Not only did he do his job so well, he gave us a window into Ray Stone on the field.
Excerpt below is from the following article.
“It’s a penalty you f***ing idiot, what the hell do you think it is,” Walker said.
Stone’s head immediately whipped around as he zeroed in on the Roosters halfback, with referee Todd Smith telling the bench utility to “walk back”.
“Shut up you little c***,” Stone said.
“(Sic) won’t f***ing listen to you…”
SAT 7:30PM – NORTH QUEENSLAND 24 WESTS TIGERS 10
A typical game for these two sides. Cowboys were inconsistent again and eventually won, and the Tigers lost but were dudded by the NRL Bunker.
SUN 2PM – WARRIORS 46 NEWCASTLE 32
Looked like a Newcastle upset was on the cards here, and the red card didn’t slow them down immediately. Wahs eventually went on to win, and keep the Minor Premiership by one point on points differential, which will be a great story for rugby league. As said previously in this or the other column, anyone who doesn’t want Wahs success hates rugby league. Much like the muppets on social media who complained about South Sydney’s Jai Arrows farewell. And anyone who didn’t enjoy this game, Newcastle fans and sympathisers aside, also hates rugby league.
SUN 4PM – PARRAMATTA 38 CRONULLA 18
Lots of people claim the Cronulla Sharks are flat track bullies, who are completely underwhelming and overrated. There’s nothing to suggest that losing three of your last four against sides in the bottom eight means you can’t still be called flat track bullies, who are completely underwhelming and overrated. Good on Eels, signs are good for next year.
NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 26 Ratings
The Gurgler website is famed for the many, many stats and visuals on offer, and think they’re really clever, and the NRL Donkey was feeling a little left out.
But of course the NRL Donkey doesn’t want to celebrate the good, his cynicism won’t allow it, so he has found two ways to celebrate the mediocre. The first is taking The Gurgler’s all-new Player Ratings system, where stats are used to determine a player score out of ten, and flipping it’s on it’s head by taking the worst scores in each position. Secondly, he has devised a way of seeing which players was the worst contributor, coming up with a points system for all manners of errors, penalties, missed tackles, and gave it the subtle title of the Sh!t Play Inde.
Plus AI Greg is here for his best of from the weekend.
NRL Donkey’s Stats – Not Quite Team of the Week
Here are the lowest ranked players per position to create the Not Quite Team of the Week.
NRL Donkey’s Stats – Sh!t Play Index
Compiling missed tackles, penalties, errors on a sliding scale, here are the top 10 most “influential” players this weekend and the “best” for season 2026.
