Ducking for cover like a Melbourne Storm Assistant Coach, in training for the next mascot race, rejecting any future playing contracts under $2M per season, and refusing to play most positions and play in reserve grade, it’s time for some Rugby League tips and opinion from The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey. The NRL Donkey provides his NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 25 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
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The NRL Donkey’s NRL Round 25 Weekly Opinion
With the new Premier League season about to kick off and ruin whatever sleep I was getting on a weekend, I was wondering the other day in between the endless and tedious NRL rumour mill and transfer stories that are dullest of the dull, about some of the good things rugby league could adopt from the Premier League.
Firstly, VAR is not one of them. The last thing we need is something worse than The Bunker. VAR is also a crap name, because really the only thing going for The Bunker is it’s a pretty cool name for a video replay room with an overpowering stench of indecision and failure.
But a proper Transfer Window is. Whilst you still wouldn’t avoid the many, many headlines of some manager floating the idea of a player being shopped around looking for a bigger deal, longer years, blah blah blah, because Fox League need to fill their website with something, but at least a player couldn’t sign for another team a full season ahead of when they can play for them.
Say what you will about the Wests Tigers season. From disappointing, to underwhelming, to terrible, to poor, to dross, to weak as piss, to supremely unsatisfying, to woeful, to smelling worse than the nearest bin to an off leash dog park, to dreadful, to a crying shame, to awful, to abysmal, to atrocious, or even just plain old lousy, you have to admit that their troubles started with Jarome Luai. Not the initial poaching of Luai to the Wests Tigers but the Tigers five-eighth’s well publicised move to the PNG Chiefs. Not that as a prospective PNG Chiefs fan that I’m against the signing, but the ability for a player to sign two seasons ahead is a joke. Which is also another word you can add to the list above.
Whether it has actually unsettled the Tigers squad or they were pre-destined to have the arse of the pants fall off this season I’m not sure. But if I was a betting man, and my five different betting accounts says I am, I’d put money on the Chiefs move being the cause of all Tiger woes.
But it’s not just Luai, it’s every player putting their toes into various waters through their managers or leaks or cryptic social media posts, and the fact I have to hear about every day, when all I want is a feelgood rugby league story like who Gorden Tallis is beefing with, what Willie Mason says on any podcast, and Gus Gould’s twitter feed.
A transfer window at the end of the season, and one mini one during Origin, because let’s face it the NRL doesn’t care about the NRL during Origin anyway, should be all that is needed. All the “shopping around” can be done in a month’s window so fans can be sure that their favourite players will see out the season.
Another Premier League thing the NRL could borrow is relegation. Sure it’s hard when the NRL is a franchise system and most of the second tier teams actually rely on the first grade teams for talent, but why not consider this. Perhaps there’s no relegation every year, but let’s say there will be if a team finished last three years in a row.
With the salary cap in place and guarded and reviewed as closely as the Roosters will allow, a team has to be pretty awful to be last three seasons in a row. So if they are, do they deserve to stay in the NRL?
With a South Island New Zealand team and Western Corridor Brisbane aka Ipswich team both looking to join the NRL and both being excellent rugby league ideas, we have more teams that want to play than the NRL will allow if they stop at 20 teams, which they should and will. So that means we have to start culling, and if a team can’t turn things around in three years, maybe a stint ion the second tier could help recapture the magic. It would certainly turn an average cruise to a wooden spoon more interesting if they team in question knows they’ll be booted out of the NRL if the three-peat the dead last.
Some would say there should be exemptions for new teams, but what a carrot/stick to have if a new team doesn’t get themselves into gear for the first three seasons then maybe they shouldn’t be getting in the NRL in the first place. Or the NRL will actually try harder to help new teams coming in the competition.
Things like who replaces them can be worked out later, I just like the relegation idea. The fans with tears as they see their team leave the field knowing they’ll be in the second division the net season is certainly sad, but great sporting theatre. As long as it isn’t my team.
Other things that are Premier League good is a limit to playing kits, penalty shootouts, and although more English football than Premier League, what about a knockout competition. Featuring lowly qualifying rounds from any team in the country. Even the Wests Tigers can join in. Even national teams other than Australia and New Zealand could play.
Hell, you could even play the last few rounds in the Origin period with standalone Origin on one night, and quarter/semi/grand finals on the Friday/Saturday nights for the knockout cup competition.
If the man of feather is serious about festivals of rugby league, he has one staring him in the face if he can bring himself to embrace English football rather than American.
Before dreaming too much about all that, there’s still more weeks of this regular season to go. So the usual expert tips and opinion is offered, and best ignored.
The NRL Donkey’s NRL Round 25 Weekly Expert Tips
THURSDAY 8PM – MELBOURNE v PENRITH
Poor old Penrith, a week after exposing more flaws about their Thursday night credentials, they have to go to Melbourne on a Thursday night to play the Storm. Sure it’s not the same Storm, not on field as injuries and the Perth Bears have affected form this season including a new club record losing streak. Not off field either as Craig Bellamy doesn’t quite seem as angry as he used to be, which may be health related and I do wish him all the best, but I enjoy his blow ups too much. This may well be a low scoring, thriller, finals-type football like last weekend’s Roosters-Panthers match, so Melbourne fans can enjoy a taste of September as that’s as close as they’ll get.
Melbourne by 6
FRIDAY 6PM – CANBERRA v BRISBANE
What better place to be punished for a meek surrendering of the NRL title and general form and losing streak for the Broncos than have to play Canberra in Canberra, where it will surely be colder than their form on field. Or, maybe not. Canberra’s surprise win over Cronulla last weekend shows they are still playing for, or in fear of their head coach. The same can’t be said for the Broncos and I look forward to the off season implosion and to see how many meeting rooms get renamed.
Canberra by 20
FRIDAY 8PM – DOLPHINS v PARRAMATTA @ Suncorp Stadium
Now that the Phins are guaranteed finals football, and have a sniff of stealing a top four place they should go in for the kill and actually play good for 60-80 minutes. Parramatta won’t make it easy, as they seem to like playing Qld teams. Talk of calling this the Ray Stone Cup due to his fearless involvement with both clubs makes complete sense, and I will be sorely disappointed if it doesn’t happen.
Dolphins by 28
SATURDAY 3PM – NEWCASTLE v MANLY
Well you could say it won’t get worse for Manly, but there’s still three games left and they’re already at 6 straight losses. If they can’t score a point at home against a travelling Dolphins side, what chance to they have against a Newcastle team in Newcastle who are scoring plenty. Two months ago this could have been a clash between two of the coaches of the year. Now, one will be lucky to be coaching this time net year. As ever, ahead of any Newcastle-Manly clash, airing of the Mark Carroll v Chief Harragon Richter scale tackle is mandatory.
Newcastle by 14
SATURDAY 5:30PM – SOUTH SYDNEY v WARRIORS @ Accor Stadium
This is a genuinely interesting clash. South Sydney’s form is so good at home, and the only reason they’ll play finals football. But the Wahs are going well too, and carry the hopes of an entire nation and a bunch of neutrals.
South Sydney by 2
SATURDAY 7:30PM – ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA v BULLDOGS @ Allianz Stadium
Funny to think the Dragons have the same last 6 form as the Panthers. A win here, and a Broncos loss on Friday in Canberra could start getting a few worried in the Broncos part of Brisbane. The steam has come out of the Bulldogs finals charge and it could be extinguished for good if they lose this weekend. One question though. Why a team that has two home grounds feels the need to go to another, like the Wests Tigers. Whilst I understand the answer is money, it’s a bit of an Up Yours to fans. And those fans should be looked after considering they hung around this season after the Dragons first half season of dross.
St George Illawarra by 4
SUNDAY 2PM – GOLD COAST v CRONULLA
Are we seeing the biggest choke of a Shark in sport since Greg Norman at the Masters? Cronulla’s run isn’t that bad to be honest, and nowhere near as shirtless. but losing to two teams destined for Bali in September and not Homebush isn’t a good look. Sure they haven’t lost that badly, but they didn’t win, and have given up fourth place for now. Sharks don’t necessarily like the Gold Coast either as they tend to put big, filthy nets up around the ocean. So the Titans need to find that on-field shark net to stop Cronulla.
Talking of Sharks, you should really try the two Where’s Norman? Puzzles Dancin’ and Sports.
Gold Coast by 6
SUNDAY 4PM – ROOSTERS v WESTS TIGERS
Oh dear.
Roosters by 40
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