Ducking for cover like a Melbourne Storm assistant coach, slightly better than the Bunker for most things, attempting to sell himself to PNG to get some of that sweet sweet Government-Free moolah, asking the nearest president to overturn his ban at the local RSL for a drunken walk through a fountain, and playing out of position for the good of the team, it’s time for some Rugby League tips and opinion from The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey. The NRL Donkey provides his NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 24 Review & Ratings on the weekend of rugby league that was.
This NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 24 Review & Ratings is all new and offers up a second serving of Donkey rugby league in a week. Why would the world need twice the NRL Donkey? First of all, how rude. Secondly, because no one delivers rugby league with such an honest, almost churlish attitude, not afraid to tell rugby league what he thinks. Sort of like Pauline Hanson but with none of the racism. The NRL Donkey hates everything and everyone equally. And now he gives it with both barrels – and both ends of a rugby league weekend in the NRL, with a review with a match by match thoughts and a preview with all the opinion and more.
Related – more serious Rugby League gear
- NRL Round 24 NRL Team of the Week
- NRL Round 24 NRL Weekly Stats & One Minute Match Reviews
- NRL Round 24 NRL NRL Donkey Preview and Rant
NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 24 Review
Here’s the NRL Donkey’s thoughts and mini rants on all of the games from the previous weekend.
THU 8PM – PENRITH 6 ROOSTERS 12
A proper top two clash with a real finals feel, many saying it could and should be a Grand Final preview. As a Donkey who hates the Roosters, supports the Dolphins, is a big fan of the Wahs and although I have nothing against Penrith would rather see someone else win, I disagree about wanting that to be a Grand Final replay. Was a great game and Daly Cherry-Evans celebrated his win by announcing a move to Hull FC. Now there’s a proper rugby league town.
FRI 6PM – MANLY 0 DOLPHINS 22
Fair to say Fozball is dead and buried. Gonna have to call it something else now, maybe crap. The Dolphins were also pretty crap if you’re honest. and they kept Manly scoreless at home for the first time in the NRL era. One does wonder what the Dolphins can do if they put even 60 good minutes together. One also wonders if Manly have 60 good minutes left this season. Shame, Kieran Foran is highly likeable. He should quit coaching and come back to Fox League before they hire Shane Flanagan again. Talking of re-hiring….Dolphins should re-sign Ray Stone. Now.
FRI 8PM – BULLDOGS 6 SOUTH SYDNEY 22
Some performance for Souths, with the usuals of Wayne Bennett cunning and Alex Johnston tries, with David Fifita filling 50% of his two good games for the season quota. The Rabbitohs overturned a dreadful Friday and away record to basically cement a finals spot. For the Bulldogs they can either still make the finals or blame it on Gus/Galvin.
SAT 3PM – CRONULLA 20 CANBERRA 24
Looks like playing out of fear/love for Ricky Stuart trumps (not the president, never the president) a side trying to hold onto the top four spot they lost the night before when the Dolphins won. Funny old game rugby league.
SAT 5:30PM – PARRAMATTA 32 NORTH QLD 30
Entertaining game with Parramatta’s recent form dominance over the Cowboys and at CommBank Stadium too much for the wild inconsistency of the North Qld Cowboys in 2026. The Cowboys have a bye up their sleeve, which will eliminate one potential loss, with one more win probably being enough to make the eight. Although their 72 point pantsing may yet come back to haunt them.
SAT 7:30PM – BRISBANE 6 WAHS 40
Gee, the Broncos make losing look like such hard work. Not to take away any of the joy of a Wahs win, and there’s lots of joy, especially when DWZ scores any tries, let alone a corner post, superman special. Anyone who doesn’t like that or Wahs success hates rugby league and should be ashamed of themselves. For at least the tenth time this season I can confidently say that Xavier Willison is the only Broncos player, coach or backroom staff member whose value has increased this season. The Broncos are playing like they have money invested in finishing last.
SUN 2PM – NEWCASTLE 36 GOLD COAST 26
A decent bit of fun for a Sunday afternoon. Point galore, Kalyn Ponga on fire, a little bit of Newcastle man love after tries, so many boxes ticked. If old mate Holbrook doesn’t win coach of the year for turning around busted arse 2025 Knights to dangerous floater of the NRL finals then the decision-making process is worse than the Bunker.
SUN 4PM – WESTS TIGERS 22 ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA 24
Did you know that the Dragons have the same last six form as Penrith? Of course we know that everyone knows the Tigers are down on their luck, which is the nice way of saying they suck. I’d be less disappointed in their season if they didn’t start off so well and look good. And I’m not even a fan. Although one superfan of the Tigers who lives in the net stable did say two months ago that they wouldn’t win another game, eight losses in a row and he was dead right. Not to take anything away from the Dragons who have turned around their season from potentially one of the worst seasons in the NRL era, to mathematically and momentum-aly capable of avoiding the wooden spoon.
NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 24 Ratings
The Gurgler website is famed for the many, many stats and visuals on offer, and the NRL Donkey was feeling a little left out.
But of course the NRL Donkey doesn’t want to celebrate the good, his cynicism won’t allow it, so he has found two ways to celebrate the mediocre. The first is taking The Gurgler’s all-new Player Ratings system, where stats are used to determine a player score out of ten, and flipping it’s on it’s head by taking the worst scores in each position. Secondly, he has devised a way of seeing which players was the worst contributor, coming up with a points system for all manners of errors, penalties, missed tackles, and gave it the subtle title of the Sh!t Play Inde.
Plus AI Greg is here for his best of from the weekend.
NRL Donkey’s Stats – Not Quite Team of the Week
Here are the lowest ranked players per position to create the Not Quite Team of the Week.
NRL Donkey’s Stats – Sh!t Play Index
Compiling missed tackles, penalties, errors on a sliding scale, here are the top 10 most “influential” players this weekend and the “best” for season 2026.
