A third grade cricketer for the Belconnen Bulls Sub-District Cricket Club has come to pre-season training with a spring in his step.
Terry ‘wintered’ in England for the Andershire-on-Broadley 2nd XI, and his new look surprised his teammates.
“Old mate had a new kit big covered with stickers, blond streaks in his hair, and a stupid fake English accent,” said the third grade skipper Chris. “I don’t know what those Pommies did to him over there, but he looked ridiculous!”
It only got worse as Terry spent the first 30 minutes telling everyone within earshot how many runs he scored, how many wickets he took, and how he was this close to winning the club’s Player of the Year award.
“I got sick of his bragging and decided to put him in his place,” said Chris. “I made Terry bat first, gave our grumpy fast bowlers a new rock, and told the boys to let fly. Maybe a few bruises will dent that ego and he’ll remember his just a s****y third grader.”
But the tactic backfired as Terry laid into the bowling, hooking and pulling most short balls and punishing anything wide of the stumps.
Frustrated, Chris tried one more idea.
“I told the first skipper that Terry can play with them. That’ll sort him out and he’ll be back with us before Christmas where he knows his place and learns some humility.”
Though Terry flourished in first grade, scoring 50 runs off 40 balls and taking two wickets as the Bulls won their opening one-dayer.
“It was a lot of fun. I realised from playing in England that I was a lot better cricketer than a third grader, so I made up the stories and the silly accent to wind Chris up. He’s a miserable old grump who’s only mad because he’s not good enough to play any higher. Hopefully I can stay in the ones for a bit longer while he stews in the thirds,” said Terry. “Though the blond streaks were a lost bet with one of the Andershire boys. There’s a great bunch of boys and I can’t wait to go back next year.”
The Gurgler presents stories of the Park Cricketer, where we explore the lower reaches of the great game of cricket from the suburban ovals and rural grounds across Australia.
