Now that the Driver’s Championship has been officially won by Max Verstappen there’s only Sergio Perez things to decide. Can he seal second in the Championship or will he be sacked? Talking of second best, here is our 2023 US F1 Grand Prix Preview with all the trimmings.
The Gurgler’s 2023 US F1 Grand Prix Preview brings some thoughts on the race itself, a few bold predictions here and there, a more than a few barely interesting stats.
Essentially a quick summary of what a casual F1 fan needs in the shortest possible time for your convenience.
By Will Pittenger – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=4492711
Interestingly the track itself looks like a microscope, which is relevant we guess as it is a great test of car and driver alike.
They attempted to cram as many great sections from other classic circuits as possible, and mostly it works. Although, still not sure why anyone would want to replicate the stadium section from Hockenheim, but anyway.
Added fun is the steep climb to the first corner that is a sharp turn to the left and usually catches out an amateur or two. Last season George Russell was that amateur, knocking out pole sitter Carlos Sainz.
The tight last section occasionally sees some late drama, so let’s hope someone is close enough to Max Verstappen to make it interesting into those final corners in the dying laps.
2023 US F1 Grand Prix Preview – Race Rating
The Gurgler does like to use some obscure drivers in our Race previews and report, so who better to use than Teo Fabi to determine a race rating system.
So before each race we give a rating out of ten for four key category that are loosely based on each letter of Teo Fabi’s surname. Don’t know who Teo Fabi is, you should.
FAST? 8/10 – It’s plenty fast with replicas of Maggotts and Becketts from Silverstone and the popular multi-turn bend from Turkey, and a few nice long straights allow the cars to stretch their legs. And maybe DRS to open its wings.
ACTION? 6/10 – Maybe it’s the time slot of very early in the morning for this side of the world, but we really can’t remember an overload of action. But the history shows the DNF rate is 3.8 retirements on average, so that means some potential for a surprise DNF.
BIG HISTORY? – 4/10 The US Grand Prix itself has a wide and varied history across multiple tracks and multiple seasons. Austin is in it’s 11th season, so a decent back history, with the occasional Championship being won there.
INCLEMENT WEATHER? – 2/10 Three percent chance of rain on Sunday is as good as it gets, and that will probably evaporate quickly with the heat. An extra point given for the temperatures around the low 30 degrees which might sort out a few cars or drivers.
RACE RATING 50% – A good track, with great sections, and hopefully DRS to make a race of it.
Want to know if your favourite driver for this weekend is a master of the track or the track is a master of them? Here then are some barely interesting facts and stats.
Lewis Hamilton has qualified no lower than 5th in Austin with 7/10 starts from the front row. His worst finish is 4th, with the other nine races ending up on the podium, with five wins.
Pierre Gasly hasn’t sored a point at Austin in four starts.
Nico Hulkenberg has failed to finish half of his eight GPs at Austin.
Sauber just pip Haas for the lowest average qualifying position at Austin (14.1)
The 10 race wins at Austin have been shared by first and second on the grid 5-5. The three second places, one third and one DNF also mirrors.
Fourth and 14th on the grid are the most likely to fail to finish with four DNFs.
The worst grid slot to point scoring driver ratio for the top ten on the grid is 8th place with just three point scoring results.
Just six of the 38 US Grands Prix (across all tracks) were won by drivers who hadn’t won a World Championship. But all of those winners – Michele Alboreto (2), John Watson (2) Rubens Barrichello (1) and Valtteri Bottas (1) have all finished second in the Championship. So not a race for a big upset then.
Although 4/10 races at Austin were won by a driver who didn’t win that year’s Championship.
DRIVER GRID POSITION vs RACE RESULT – CURRENT DRIVERS
TEAM GRID POSITION vs RACE RESULT
HISTORIC DRIVER RESULTS
99 = a DNF. Grid position 20 is overstated as that was also used for cars starting in pitlane.
HISTORIC TEAM RESULTS
99 = a DNF. Grid position 20 is overstated as that was also used for cars starting in pitlane.
RACE RESULTS FROM GRID POSITION
DID NOT FINISH – DNF
We’ve gone about DNFs through this article, so here is the list of DNFs.
Max Verstappen wins. Sergio Perez retires.
Lewis Hamilton second.
George Russell to set a pointless fastest lap on the last lap.
Lance Stroll first retirement.
Nico Hulkenberg nor Kevin Magnussen will finish the race.
Daniel Ricciardo will score a point.
McLaren will touch at the first corner and lose positions, allowing Charles Leclerc to hold them up.
One Alpine will lose a front wing on the first lap.
The 2021 Village Cricket Season Starts
PRISTON,UNITED KINGDOM - MAY 2: An aerial view of cricket being played on the Priston Cricket Club field in the village of Priston, on May 2, 2021 in Somerset, England. The easing of COVID-19 restrictions has meant the gradual return of normality in some areas of life, including amateur sport, which was halted during the previous lockdowns. (Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images)
A third grade cricketer for the Belconnen Bulls Sub-District Cricket Club has come to pre-season training with a spring in his step.
Terry ‘wintered’ in England for the Andershire-on-Broadley 2nd XI, and his new look surprised his teammates.
“Old mate had a new kit big covered with stickers, blond streaks in his hair, and a stupid fake English accent,” said the third grade skipper Chris. “I don’t know what those Pommies did to him over there, but he looked ridiculous!”
It only got worse as Terry spent the first 30 minutes telling everyone within earshot how many runs he scored, how many wickets he took, and how he was this close to winning the club’s Player of the Year award.
“I got sick of his bragging and decided to put him in his place,” said Chris. “I made Terry bat first, gave our grumpy fast bowlers a new rock, and told the boys to let fly. Maybe a few bruises will dent that ego and he’ll remember his just a s****y third grader.”
But the tactic backfired as Terry laid into the bowling, hooking and pulling most short balls and punishing anything wide of the stumps.
Frustrated, Chris tried one more idea.
“I told the first skipper that Terry can play with them. That’ll sort him out and he’ll be back with us before Christmas where he knows his place and learns some humility.”
Though Terry flourished in first grade, scoring 50 runs off 40 balls and taking two wickets as the Bulls won their opening one-dayer.
“It was a lot of fun. I realised from playing in England that I was a lot better cricketer than a third grader, so I made up the stories and the silly accent to wind Chris up. He’s a miserable old grump who’s only mad because he’s not good enough to play any higher. Hopefully I can stay in the ones for a bit longer while he stews in the thirds,” said Terry. “Though the blond streaks were a lost bet with one of the Andershire boys. There’s a great bunch of boys and I can’t wait to go back next year.”
The Gurgler presents stories of the Park Cricketer, where we explore the lower reaches of the great game of cricket from the suburban ovals and rural grounds across Australia.
The 2023 Cricket World Cup might be underway in India but as far as we are concerned at The Gurgler it is not the best cricket entertainment on right now. That is actually the European Cricket Championships – one of sport’s hidden gems.
While the biggest cricket teams, and the brightest stars in the world are shining in India, in sunny Spain you will not find household cricket names nor nations that you even knew played cricket, and that’s part of the attraction.
Romania, Guernsey, Belgium, Luxembourg? You bet. They are all here along with most most of Europe’s nations and all are there vying for the European Cricket Championships glory.
Sure you won’t know any of the players, and the standard may be some distance below the Cricket World Cup, but that’s one of the attractions. The level of ability and huge effort these players put in are much more aligned with the everyday cricket fan, making one feel that playing the European Cricket Championships is within reach. And leads to a quick check on ancestry.com to see if there’s any links to a European nation.
It’s the simplicity too. Not 50 overs with a middle part where the batting side drags out the overs. The European Cricket Championships is a quick, 10 over blast that even has a countdown for the bowling side to get through their overs. This means the batters are sometimes in a big hurry, and there have been some incredible scoring rates. Some players going at 3-4 runs a ball for your entertainment.
No 90 second discussions between balls about field placements either, there’s no time, the clock is ticking, and that includes time to find the ball after a six in the overgrown grassy mounds.
Talking of sixes, there’s another major reason the European Cricket Championships are the greatest – the commentator. Vinny Sandhu is the main man with the mike, and he brings an enthusiasm for cricket which is infectious. If you watch the coverage for long enough, he will drag you into his world of European Cricket. Then there’s his famous Maximooooooo calls for a six. Similar to the Billy Bowden signal for six back in the day, the man known by Mr Maximooooo has made a name for himself by giving it a little something extra. For the record a recent addition is the “Minimoooo” for the four which works for us.
Catch Mr Maximoooo on X (formerly known as Twitter) via this link.
And talking of sixes, or Maximoooo as us Euro Cricket freaks like to insist on calling them, the small Malaga ground is the perfect size for this level of cricket. With sixes / maximoooos hit with regularity, and occasionally the ball is hard to find on the grassy mounds that surround the ground, adding to the weekend warrior charm.
And the pitch? Again the European Cricket Championship goes simple. No fast/slow pitch or one that is bias towards any player or team or doctored to suit, it is simply a Gabba Grass pitch where everyone wins. And keeps that theme of watching an achievable level of cricket to un-retire to.
There’s no glamour to it either. The teams rest in marquees rather than fancy pavilions, and the ground even has a little green carpet rolled out for the cricketers which is held down by bricks and a giant, inflatable cricket ball says to a cricket fan that they are ready to put on a show.
And put on a show these teams from the European Cricket Championship certainly do, and the time slot works great for fans in Australia as it lands in prime time. And where else are you going to get Luxembourg and Scotland or Malta v Sweden in any sport.
So ignore the European Cricket Championships at your peril. It’s one of sport’s hidden gems that is waiting to be discovered by more folk. And don’t delay, as the sharp end of the competition is almost here.
And if you want to know more, please follow the below link. You won’t be disappointed.
John Belushi wears a pirate costume and raises a sword in his infamous role as Bluto in the movie Animal House.
A newly married Brisbane man has been pleasantly reminded of his old partying days.
While on a Saturday shopping trip with his wife, Peter saw a group of young men hauling a trolley full of beers and was transported to his youth.
“Mate, I bet those boys are stocking up for a raging house party where they stay up until dawn and beat the hangover with a greasy Sunday morning brekkie,” he said.
“My uni mates and I would have house parties every few weeks. We’d pool our cash together, get as much piss as possible, order pizzas, and spend the nights playing video games or watching shitty movies. It wasn’t massive, but we had fun, and it was better than blowing our money in a loud, expensive nightclub.”
Now married for six months, Peter has swapped his fun Saturday nights for more sedate ones.
“The misso and I will order in, have a few drinks, I’ll watch the footy, and then we’ll watch a movie or binge a TV show. Then, if we’re still in the mood, we’ll go to bed and…y’know…”
While Peter is still in touch with his old uni mates through a Facebook Messenger group, they haven’t caught up properly in ages.
“We’re all married now and living all over the country. We made rough plans to catch up over Christmas the other year, but it fell through. These things happen. We’re still mates, so that’s good.”
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of ‘The Betoota Advocate’. We swear.
Olivia Newton-John performing in the music video for her single, 'Physical', 1981. (Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)
While there’s still two months until Christmas, one local gym is already preparing for the annual January rush.
Fitspo gym in Brisbane is a relatively small gym, but it always picks up after New Year’s, when tons of punters – motivated by a ‘desire’ to get fit in the new year – join up.
“I started here three years ago and that first January shocked me,” said Fitspo employee Sarah. “The place was packed from New Year’s Day and up until mid-January. I was new, stressed, and was wondering why my co-workers were so relaxed. Then I realised why.”
As the month wore on, these newly ‘motivated’ gym goers stared to trickle away, as most people went back to work and began preparing for schools to return.
“Once we get through the first two weeks, things get back to normal. Most of the new people are gone by Valentine’s Day. We call them ‘The Resolutionists’ now.”
To liven things up, Sarah and her co-workers have decided to bet on which punters last the longest.
“I’ve learnt to spot the ones who don’t last long. The ones who grunt and carry on like they’re pro athletes are usually gone a couple of weeks later. They use the heat as an ‘excuse’, even though we have brilliant air con. You just know they’re sitting on their butts watching the cricket or tennis,” said Sarah. “Is it legal to bet on which client lasts the longest? Probably not, but it’s funny. And the last person standing gets a JB Hi-Fi gift voucher.”
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of ‘The Betoota Advocate’. We swear.
The 2023 NRL Season may be over, but before it is consigned to Wikipedia forever we have a final look at the best of the stats with our 2023 NRL Season Stats A to Z Mega Summary.
That’s right, we find at least one stat category for each letter of the alphabet to try and sum up the stats for the 2023 NRL season.
There are the regular stats you could see each week in our Weekly Stats reviews, but some special bonus stats too. But strap yourself in, it’s going to be a long one with our 2023 NRL Season Stats A to Z Mega Summary.
ASSISTS
Assists starts off the lengthy A to Z of 2023 NRL Season Stats, with the below determined on regular season.
40 of Cody Walker’s assists for the season came in Round 14 or before, further highlighting the Rabbitoh’s decline in 2023.
Cameron Munster fell out of the top 15 for Assists in 2023.
You have to go down to 16th to find the first Penrith Panther – Nathan Cleary.
AWAY FORM
Let’s see who was the best team On The Road Again like Willie Nelson once sung about. The below visuals include the finals series.
Brisbane take the 2023 award for best away team. One loss includes the Grand Final.
St George Illawarra lost all their away games this season.
Just five teams ended up with a away win rate over 50% and a positive for and against away this season.
BAD BOYS
Picture the Inner Circle song used by the Cops TV show as we unveil the bad boys of the NRL in 2023.
How are they bad boys you ask? Well we have given all players 1 point for giving away a penalty or ruck infringement this season, two for being placed on report, three for a sin binning and four points for a send off.
The results are below, and the winner probably isn’t a surprise.
BOMB KICKS
The bomb kick can be an effective weapon in rugby league, especially when Matt Burton or Nathan Cleary hoists one in the air, but it can also get boring. So here are some stats on bomb kicks for you to make up your own mind.
CONVERSION %
Who had the best conversion rate for those who attempted 20 Goal Conversions of more? Well Nathan Cleary of course. Who else.
Then for fun we added another visual for those who made fewer than 20 attempts.
CENTRES
The first of our look at a specific position. The first visual for centres below is the Top Ten Centres of the season based on our Player of the Week/Season point scoring (explained at the bottom).
Following that we have some key stats for the Centres of 2023.
DAY
Are some teams better on certain days than other days/teams?
You bet, and here are the 2023 NRL Season stats for each team’s winning record by day in 2023.
DEFENCE
They say defence wins competitions, and that remains the case in 2023 as the Panthers took the title and gave very little out in defence.
Only Canberra failed to make it all eight top eight teams at season’s end were in the top eight teams for defence.
Penrith’s defence was actually better on average against top teams than lower teams. Along with Wests Tigers, Dolphins and South Sydney.
The Panthers conceded 20 points or more just four time in 2023.
Worst defensive team Bulldogs conceded less than 20 points just five times in 2023.
Bulldogs, Gold Coast, Canberra and South Sydney all conceded more points at home on average than away.
Six teams kept a clean sheet in 2023.
ERRORS
Not all teams can pull off an NRL game with just one error, like the Panthers did in the 2023 Grand Final. But given the below shows the Broncos are at the top of the error count, making errors doesn’t rule you out of a successful season. We guess in the case of Brisbane, as long as you are playing exciting rugby league, errors are ok.
FULLBACKS
The stats say Dylan Edwards is the best fullback, and based on the Panthers’ season, it’s hard to argue. He may not have the excitement factor, or the dazzling attacking stats of Reece Walsh, but he is very reliable, and consistent. Interestingly, our points system sees James Tedesco sneak into second ahead of Walsh too, giving two fingers for all of those critics who blamed him for Origin losses I and II.
FIVE EIGHTHS
Cameron Munster takes out our five eighth of the season in one of the tighter contest according to our NRL player rankings.
Although the Grand Final haul help, Ezra Mam was well ahead for tries scored.
Cody Walker is the undisputed Assists King of the NRL in 2023.
FIRST TRY SCORERS
Some first try scorer information to keep in mind next season when tipping or betting on the first scorer.
GROUNDS
Which grounds saw the most points on average this season?
Which regular grounds have seen more or less points this season compared to last season?
Those questions and no other are answered below.
HALF RESULTS
Rugby League can be a game of two halves, and we have both of them covered here with our Half Time stats for 2023.
Broncos were the only team not to blow a half time lead this season. They were however the only team to blow a 14 point lead in a Grand Final this season.
Gold Coast blew the most half time leads with an incredible seven. Canberra weren’t far behind with five.
Broncos were also the team to win the most games after trailing at the break, along with the Warriors and Knights. The Tigers and Manly were the only teams not to overcome a half time deficit.
HALFBACKS
Nathan Cleary is probably a little bit ripped off here by missing as many games as he did, but he may well comfort himself with a third straight premiership and a second Clive Churchill medal.
HOOKERS
Harry Grant takes out our hooker of the season with a solid performance in all the major stats just in front of Rabbitohs hooker Damien Cook.
HOME FORM
Home Form for 2023 throws up a few surprising stats.
Broncos form was reasonably poor for their lofty ladder position. The below visual includes the two finals games which flatters their home record.
South Sydney ended up with the worst home point scoring record in 2023.
Seven of the 17 teams had a negative points difference at home this season.
INTERCHANGE
As part of our Team of the Week and Team of the Year, we always nominate the best players off the bench each week, earning Team of the Week points for various key stats.
So here in alphabetical order is our top ten players off the bench for 2023.
INTERCEPTS
Intercepts are spectacular, and no surprise that Stephen Crichton tops this stat for the season. The surprise being you’d think it would be more. Daly Cherry-Evans is a bit of surprise as equal king of the intercept though.
JERKS
So we didn’t have anything for J, so we thought we’d put all the On Report, Sin Bins and Send Offs under the Jerk banner.
KICKING
Anyone for some kicking stats?
LINE BREAKS
Broncos were top of the charts for Line Breaks in 2023, which was no surprise given their exciting way of playing.
Manly and Dolphins had a day out in the final round of the season, topping the one game totals, despite a solid midfield finish for the season for line breaks.
This was a stat dominated by Alex Johnston in 2023, but such was the Rabbitohs downturn in form in the second half of 2023 that he was only third this season.
LOCKS
A quality field of some of the great players of 2023 sees Isiah Yeo pip Patrick Carrigan to our Lock of the Year. Much like the Grand Final.
LAST TRY SCORERS
METRES
So many metres, so much we could say. Like Penrith were good at everything.
MISSED TACKLES
Defence wins matches they say, so here are some stats for missed tackles.
But looking at the Team x Round you’ll see Penrith’s 63 missed tackles from Round 31, which is the Grand Final. So maybe missed tackles can still win matches.
Hookers appear to be the worst offenders for missed tackles, as they are the stand outs for tackles made too though.
NEW TEAMS
The Dolphins – originally from Redcliffe – surprised many with their efforts in 2023 by account of not finishing dead last.
But how do they compare against the most recent new teams? We took the new teams (not merged or existing clubs) from 1995 and got their end of season stats.
The Dolphins fared well for points per game, with the third best record. But they did concede the most points per game in their debut season of the teams below.
Their ladder position and win % puts them around the Gold Coast’s first season, and you could argue that the 2007 Titans were better equipped with star players than the Dolphins. And the Dolphins did lose five games this season by six points or less, so with a little luck could have looked an even better result.
At least the Dolphins were better than the Crushers.
ORIGIN PERIOD
Without a doubt State of Origin is the biggest pain in the arse for the NRL, the three game series spread over nearly two months effectively stuffs the competition up for the same period with injuries, rested players, unavailable players, and half-arsed rounds of a handful of games.
Rant over, here are the winning % of each team for before the players went into camp for Origin 1, after the third Origin 3, and in between.
OFFLOADS
Offloads can be a very effective tool in rugby league, and here are the stats on which teams and players were the best at it in 2023.
ONE ON ONE STEALS
Moving on to the thieves, those who pluck the ball away unsuspectingly, and those victims who had the crime occur to them more than once.
PENALTIES
Worst Offenders Players
Team Pen Record Season
Average Pens for Winners / Losers
PROPS
A race of two for prop of the season for our Gurgler ratings, and it is hard to argue too. Feel free to argue with either at your own risk.
Those two top the key stats provided below, with Fonua-Blake having a rich try scoring season for a prop.
POINTS
A quick look at the points scored for the 2023 NRL season.
QUEENSLAND TEAMS and V QLD OPPOSITION
With a new Queensland team entering the NRL in 2023, and running short of ideas for the letter Q, here are some key stats for just the Queensland teams.
But then we had the idea of seeing how each team went in Queensland in 2023, as in who had the best and worst winning %.
QLD NRL SIDES TEAM OF THE YEAR
RUCK INFRINGEMENTS
Different to penalties, or at least is that way on the NRL website, it is still an indiscretion worth looking at before we close the 2023 NRL season.
Interestingly the Interchange players are the worst offenders, but no surprise the top five includes all the forwards.
A Manly double with Jake Trbojevic and Manly taking out the most Ruck Infringements for Team and Player.
SECOND ROWERS
Here are the best of the hard working second rowers, with all the stats trimmings.
David Fifita finally lived up to expectations for more than 15 minutes and took home our second rower of the season. He did come first or second in five of our six top categories and was a menace in most games.
TEAM OF THE YEAR
This season we compiled all player stats every week, and came up with a weekly Team of the Week.
Here then is our ultimate Team of the Season with only the regular season considered.
TACKLES
Who got through the most tackles this season, and who had the best tackle % for those involved in plenty throughout 2023?
We tackled those questions and more below.
The stand out is Cameron McInnes’ effort of a more than a tackle a minute in Round 22.
TACKLE BREAKS
Talking of tackles, which players were the hardest to stop, the ones who broke through the most tackles this season. The answers lie below.
We’ve even thrown in a 2022 v 2023 comparison by Team to see the improvement or decline this season.
UNDER SIX POINT LOSSES
Which teams were the most unlucky with some close games in 2023?
Well the bottom teams Tigers and Dragons had the most losses by small margins, but they also had a lot more practice at losing than most other clubs. The Warriors small loss total was interesting with just one of their 10 losses for the season being six points or under.
As for the day of the week, Sunday is the day for tight finishes.
Five of six Penrith losses for the season were six points or less.
VS TOP / BOTTOM HALF OPPOSITION
Here is the summary of each team’s effort vs Top and Bottom half opposition.
The first visuals are the opposition’s ladder position at the time of the match, not end of the season.
The last two are based on end of season ladder position.
WINGERS
Here are the top Wingers in the NRL is 2023, using our Player of the Week calculations to come up with a top ten, and some mildly interesting season stats.
Brian To’o comes out on top of the wingers is no surprise, he had another quality season.
Penrith and Newcastle players dominate the top five of just about everything.
X TRIES SCORED BY POSITION BY TEN MINUTE BLOCKS
OK, so we ran out of ideas for X, but this was super interesting and we have plenty of ideas under other letters.
YEAR COMPARISONS
Another letter where we ran out of ideas, but that doesn’t mean our yearly comparisons aren’t mildly interesting.
2023 was one of the better years for scoring points per game, but the games with a margin of six points or less has also made a comeback this season than the previous three. Maybe it is Covid related.
POINTS SCORED
BIG WINS
CLOSE GAMES
ZERO POINTS
Still think there’s no point to this entire A to Z of 2023 NRL Seasons Stats? Well you would be correct. As we end with a look at the games where one side scored zero points this season, plus a look at all the seasons going back to 1998.
Here are The Gurgler’s 2023 Qatar Grand Prix Ratings – our way of rating the performances of all the drivers from the most recent race.
Our G-Power Rankings goes a little bit deeper than just points scored on the Sunday and has a slightly cooler name than most. We take on board Free Practice, Qualifying, performance in relation to team mate, fastest lap, and a few more stats that are attempting to highlight a driver outperforming the car and/or thrashing their team mate.
Plus, we have a range of stats and barely interesting facts from the 2023 F1 Season so far.
A full explanation on what is included and the points awarded is below the visuals and hey, why not catch up with the race summary below.
Here are the current overall standings for our Driver of the Year winner – the Martini Medal. Named in honour of one of F1’s most unsung heroes – Pierluigi Martini of Minardi fame.
We have the overall scores as they stand, plus a visual which shows the flow of each driver’s position throughout the season, plus a few points of interest below.
Here is the breakdown of the Driver of the Year points from the most recent race and the season so far.
LATEST RACE RATINGS
SEASON RATINGS SO FAR
Race 17 2023 Qatar Grand Prix Team Ratings
This is essentially using the same drivers stats but in reverse for the worst score, but taking out anything that is a H2H between the drivers.
And our annual award focuses on the other end of the grid, highlighting the worst team of the season.
Of course, the worst team of the season award needs to be named after the worst F1 team of all time. And if you want to fund out more about Andrea Moda, follow this link.
LATEST RACE RATINGS
SEASON RATINGS SO FAR
Here are the best of stats from the latest race and the season so far. Followed by our range of barely interesting visuals and more.
Fernando Alonso is the only drivers not to have missed Q3 this season.
The H2H of drivers beating their team mate in both qualifying and the race is now a three-way tie.
The battle for our Andrea Moda Medal – the worst team on the grid – is going down to the wire with four teams within reach now.
McLaren have basically halved their average gird position since Silverstone.
George Russell hasn’t made a forward move on the first lap for the last six races
Here are the choicest of cuts from the F1 data we compile for season 2023, we a few hand picked barely interesting points to share below.
PRE/POST SILVERSTONE COMPARISON
Since many teams brought big updates for the British Grand Prix, so we thought we’d take a look to see whose changes are working best. By comparing the % gap to pole position from before the British Grand Prix and after. Along with some other stats. Basically, when McLaren came good and gave us something to cheer for.
THE STORY FROM ROUND 10…..
DRIVER 2023 H2H RECORD
Beating your team mate in F1 is very important, which is why we keep an eye on the H2H stats through the season.
2023 F1 QUALIFYING
Here our qualifying analysis covers just about everything we could find on qualifying.
QUALIFYING SUMMARY
QUALIFYING COMPARISON – GRID POSITION x AVERAGE GAP TO POLE POSITION
QUALIFYING COMPARISONS – BY TRACK TYPE AND GRID POS BY SEASON
FIRST LAP POSITION GAINS
Races can’t be won or lost at the first corner, well actually they can be lost at the first corner, and a good one can make all the difference.
So here are the stats on the lightning fast starters and the slow poke.
FREE PRACTICE
Some say Free Practice is a giant waste of time, and they are probably right. Regardless here is the average position for each driers in Free Practice this season. Each round an average of all the sessions.
FASTEST LAP
Sometimes this season all that’s left to enjoy is the late battle for fastest lap. Otherwise it’s a good judge of race pace.
2023 F1 Season Power Rankings – Least Scores Details
2023 F1 Season Power Rankings – Points Explanation
Here’s how the points work this season. Essentially the perfect race (Win from Pole, Fastest Lap, thrash team mate, best in race etc) should amount to the perfect 100 points.
FIRST LAP GAINS +0.5pts per position gained -0.5pts per position lost.
CHAMPIONSHIP POINTS – 25pts to 1pt as per World Championship – Sprint Race Points added.
BEAT TEAM MATE (RACE) – 10pts (if both finish or other driver got self inflicted DNF)
FASTEST LAP – 5pts – 1pt for top five drivers.
GRID POSITION TO RACE POSITION – formula +/- relative finish to grid
BEST OF THE REST (RACE) – 5pts to 1pt – top five non Mercedes-Red Bull drivers
QUALIFYING – 20pts to 1pt – Grid Position 1 to 20.
BEAT TEAM MATE (QUALIFYING) – 5pts
BEST OF THE REST (QUALIFYING) – 5pts to 1pt – top five non Mercedes-Red Bull drivers
GREAT/GRAPE – 5pts Great 2pts Honourable Mention -2Pts Dishonourable Mention -5Pts Grape
BEAT TEAM MATE (QUALIFYING) Time Gap – Formula for % beaten team mate by
BEAT TEAM MATE (QUALIFYING) Position – 0.5 Pts for every position team mate is beaten by. 0 points for second car.
FREE PRACTICE HERO – 10Pts to 1Pt – Average Position across all three practice sessions.
WIN FROM POLE – Bonus 5 Points
WIN FROM POLE WITH FASTEST LAP – Bonus 10 Points
DNF Not Driver or Team Fault Minus 2 Points
DNF CAUSED BY DRIVER/TEAM INCOMPETENCE Minus 5 Points
SPRINT RACE POINTS – Points 8 to 1 as handed out in the sprint race.
SPRINT RACE CHANGE – 0.5 Points per change in end position to starting position.
LUSAIL CITY, QATAR - OCTOBER 07: Max Verstappen of the Netherlands driving the Oracle Red Bull Racing RB19 celebrates during the Sprint Shootout/Sprint ahead of the F1 Grand Prix of Qatar at Lusail International Circuit on October 07, 2023 in Lusail City, Qatar. (Photo by Amin Mohammad Jamali/Getty Images)
A big weekend of Formula 1 as Max Verstappen win his third World Championship and the main Qatar Grand Prix on the Sunday and Oscar Piastri takes a first win on the Saturday with the Sprint Race. To cover that and so much more is our 2023 Qatar F1 Grand Prix Result which covers both races and anything else of interest.
This 2023 Qatar Grand Prix Result, Lap by Lap, Review & Summary gives you just enough to catch up with. With just a hint of cynicism, bias, opinion and colour. The perfect bite sized review for those who couldn’t be bothered, or don’t have enough time. And you get it for both the main race on Sunday and the Sprint Race on Saturday. So read on.
2023 Qatar F1 Grand Prix Result Sprint Race Summary
Didn’t see the race live? Don’t have time to watch the whole race? Well here are the top laps where stuff happened. We write these live as we go, sort of like a minute by minute for the football, but marginally more interesting.
Setting the scene – Oscar Piastri continues his impressive recent run by taking the sprint race pole position ahead of his team mate in a super session for the McLarens. Max Verstappen is third and ready to pounce. He needs just three points to secure his third world championship. Both qualifying sessions have been all about the track limits and drivers having times taken off them. Hopefully that doesn’t ruin the race.
Lap 1 – Oscar Piastri converts his first pole position impressively into a first corner lead, behind him both Lando Norris and Max Verstappen are squeezed out going into turn one by the rapid starting George Russell and Carlos Sainz. Charles Leclerc up as well. Verstappen is 5th and Norris 6th. Perez is another loser of the start down two positions. Liam Lawson is off into the gravel and out of the race. The race itself is put on hold as the Safety Car comes out.
SAFETY CAR DEPLOYED
ORDER – PIA RUS SAI LEC VER NOR ALO OCO HUL PER
SAFETY CAR EXITS
Lap 2 – Just the one lap behind the safety car, and Oscar Piastri just holds onto first despite loads of pressure from George Russell into the first corner. But a few corners later the Mercedes overtakes the McLaren for the lead as Piastri outbrakes himself slightly – possibly the difference between his soft tyres vs Piastri’s medium set. A ding dong battle between Lando Norris and Fernando Alonso ends up in Norris’ favour as Norris keeps 6th and Ocon steals 7th from Alonso. Logan Sargeant spins off into the gravel and seals another DNF. And another safety car. We can guarantee as least one of the Safety Car and Logan Sargeant will be on the grid next season.
SAFETY CAR DEPLOYED
ORDER – RUS PIA SAI LEC VER NOR OCO ALO HUL GAS
SAFETY CAR EXITS
Lap 7 – After what seems like a safety car period that went way too long, the race resumes. Carlos Sainz almost steals second from Piastri into the first corner, but the Australian does well to hold him off. Alonso takes his seventh lace back from Esteban Ocon. George Russell has given himself a handy greater than one second lead to stay out of DRS zone. The question is can his soft tyres hold on for the whole race against the mediums of McLaren and Red Bull. Speaking of those cars, they are in a less dominant 5th and 11th. Max Verstappen eyeing the long game of a 6th place that seals a championship.
Lap 9 – Max Verstappen proves he isn’t just hanging around by overtaking Charles Leclerc for 4th. The medium tyres are working now as Perez overtakes Gasly for 10th and Oscar Piastri sets fastest lap.
Lap 10 – The soft runners are going backwards now, well Carlos Sainz certainly is as Max Verstappen breezes by.
ORDER – RUS PIA VER SAI LEC NOR ALO OCO HUL PER
Lap 11 – Oscar Piastri overtakes George Russell down the main straight with his DRS and tyres helping to regain the lead. In more good news for McLaren Lando Norris gets by Charles Leclerc. Less successful is Sergio Perez who is in the gravel trying to overtake Nico Hulkenberg for 9th, that hands the World Championship to Max Verstappen without having to do anything. It probably also hands Sergio Perez’s 2024 Red Bull seat to anyone else the way he’s going. Esteban Ocon is in the gravel with Perez and it looks like Hulkenberg has escaped. Replays show that it was a racing incident of three cars alongside each other and the two outside ones squeezing the middle car to the inevitable outcome. If we were to apportion some blame, it was Ocon who should have given more room. Safety Car is out again. Piastri hoping this one lasts as long as possible.
SAFETY CAR DEPLOYED
ORDER – PIA RUS VER SAI NOR LEC ALO HAM GAS BOT
SAFETY CAR EXITS
Lap 15 – Safety car leaves giving us five laps to the chequered flag. Piastri just holds onto first place and carves out a second space by the end of the lap. Further back Charles Leclerc gets past Lando Norris.
Lap 16 – Max Verstappen passes George Russell for second place, and is hunting a sprint win to seal his championship. Piastri is 2.6 seconds up the road with four laps to go. Can the McLaren hold on.
Lap 17 – The gap from Piastri to Verstappen is down to 2.3 seconds, while Lando Norris retakes Leclerc for 5th and gets past Carlos Sainz for 4th a few corners later. Magnificent stuff. Further back Lewis Hamilton takes Pierre Gasly for 8th and Alex Albon sneaks into the top ten ahead of Valtteri Nottas.
Lap 18 – Two laps to go and the Piastri-Verstappen gaps in just under two seconds.Lewis Hamilton is up to 7th and harassing the Ferraris straight away.
Final Lap – Piastri heads into the final lap with a lead of two seconds or more. He needs to just keep going for a first win. Further back plenty happening, Lewis Hamilton gets past Leclerc. Alex Albon takes Fernando Alonso for 8th. But Oscar Piastri drives composed, and he holds off Max Verstappen with ease for his first win in F1 while Verstappen takes a third World Championship. Talking of third, Lando Norris makes it a decent sprint race for McLaren with a third place. It may be just a sprint race, but a decent first place for Oscar Piastri on a track he has never raced on.
ORDER – PIA VER NOR RUS HAM SAI LEC ALB ALO GAS
Pos
Driver
Time
1
Oscar Piastri
19 Laps
2
Max VERSTAPPEN
1.871 behind
3
Lando NORRIS
8.497 behind
4
George RUSSELL
11.036 behind
5
Lewis HAMILTON
17.314 behind
6
Carlos SAINZ
18.806 behind
7
Alexander Albon
19.864 behind
8
Fernando ALONSO
21.18 behind
9
Pierre GASLY
21.742 behind
10
Valtteri BOTTAS
22.208 behind
11
Yuki TSUNODA
22.863 behind
12
Charles LECLERC
24.86 behind
13
Kevin Magnussen
24.97 behind
14
Guanyu Zhou
26.868 behind
15
Lance STROLL
29.523 behind
R
Nico Hulkenberg
DNF Lap 11
R
Esteban OCON
DNF Lap 10
R
Sergio PEREZ
DNF Lap 10
R
Logan Sargeant
DNF Lap 2
R
Liam Lawson
DNF Lap 1
2023 Qatar F1 Grand Prix Result Main Race Summary
Didn’t see the race live? Don’t have time to watch the whole race? Well here are the top laps where stuff happened. We write these live as we go, sort of like a minute by minute for the football, but marginally more interesting.
Setting the scene – There’s still a race to be run after the excitement of Oscar Piastri’s first win in the Sprint Race yesterday, and even more importantly the third World Championship for Max Verstappen.
To ensure that the governing body aren’t forgotten, they have insisted before the race that no one can run more than 18 laps on a set of tyres, which could add a level of chaos to the race. It’s on safety grounds, but it sounds plenty stupid, and with one of the longest pit lanes on the calendar, we’re going to be be watching nothing but pit stops we fear.
GRID (Starting Order) – VER RUS HAM ALO LEC PIA GAS OCO BOT NOR — PER (PL)
Lap 1 – Pole sitter Max Verstappen gets away OK, Lewis Hamilton gets away better from third and he tries to get pass both Verstappen and George Russell around the outside only to clip his team mate, rip off his right rear wheel and send both him and Russell into a spin at turn one. Yesterday’s winner Oscar Piastri lucks in and is up to second from sixth. Further back there’s some swapping for minor positions and no trouble as the Safety Car is called upon.
It wasn’t a ridiculous move from Lewis Hamilton, and it looked like he had enough pace to get it done, he just needed to give George Russell more room and he might have taken first rather than be sitting out the rest of the Qatar Grand Prix. Disaster for Mercedes who had two cars in the top three and now have one who is last.
SAFETY CAR DEPLOYED
ORDER – VER PIA ALO LEC OCO NOR GAS TSU BOT HUL
Lap 4 – A bunch of lower midfield cars come in to pit, not sure how that works with the 18 lap rule for strategy. Also bad news coming for Nico Hulkenberg after the stewards advise they are looking at an incorrect starting procedure, which means penalty usually. And it does this time too, 10 second penalty.
RACE RESUMES
Lap 5 – Max Verstappen holds onto first place with a masterful restart, Oscar Piastri was a little slow but keeps second. Further back Sergio Perez and George Russell debate who should own 13th place, Perez looks to run Russell off the road. Could be interesting how these two come back through the field. Russell gets past a lap later.
Lap 8 – Replays shows Fernando Alonso running wide off one of the corners but keeps his position as the tyres wear off. But that highlights another problem – track limits. Which ruined a lot of qualifying laps, there’s five second penalties awaiting in the race for those who run wide too many times in the race.
Further ahead Max Verstappen and Oscar Piastri are trading fastest laps. George Russell is up to 11th already, and looking fast, his first lap prang possibly costing us a battle at the front. We might still get one with Piastri though.
ORDER – VER PIA ALO LEC OCO NOR GAS HUL TSU ALB
Lap 12 – Fernando Alonso and Pierre Gasly become the first front runners to pit of what will be many, many pits tops. They drop from 3rd and 7th to 15th and 17th for reference. The pit stops and an overtake help George Russell jump up to 6th. Oscar Piastri pits from second a lap later and drops to 13th. So glad there’s going to be extra pit stops, so front runners are held up by midfield cars. Nice one FIA.
Lap 14 – Lando Norris pits from what was second and drops to 13th. Talking of second, George Russell is up to second after overtaking Nico Hulkenberg. He pits a lap later and rejoins 15th and has to do it all over again. Russell’s earlier sparring partner Sergio Perez has made it up to third place but he has to stop soon according to the 18 lap rule, like his team mate Verstappen in the lead too.
Lap 18 – Max Verstappen pits from the lead, which gives Alex Albon a nice moment s he takes the lead temporarily in his Williams. Further back Oscar Piastri is making light owrk of the midfield runners in the way of his net second place. He’s up to fourth now then second as those cars pit.
Lap 19 – Lando Norris overtakes Charles Leclerc for 6th, Lance Stroll lets Fernando Alonso past for fourth, and George Russell is up to 10th after another overtake.
ORDER – VER PIAS ALO BOT STR NOR LEC OCO GAS RUS
Lap 24 – George Russell continues to make progress through the field. Lando Norris is catching Fernando Alonso for third. Sergio Perez sets a who cares fastest lap from 9th. It disappears as Lando Norris updates the fastest lap as we type.
Lap 26 – Oscar Piastri is the first front runner to pit for a second stop. He rejoins 8th this time. Fernando Alonso pits a lap later, he did ask his team to fix an uncomfortable problem over the radio prior to stopping – the seat is burning his rear end. The team don’t seem to do anything to fix that in the two second he is stopped for. That could get interesting later.
Lap 29 – In good news for Lando Norris, he pits and get by Fernando Alonso for a net third and that means within a car of his team mate Piastri. Meanwhile Piastri takes a while and loses some time getting past Alex Albon for fourth. By lap 32 Norris is within five seconds of Piastri and that could get interesting soon, Norris sets fastest lap on lap 33.
Lap 33 – Fernando Alonso runs off the track at turn 15 and loses his position to Charles Leclerc in a moment of excitement. He rejoined pretty dangerously in front of Leclerc who overtook him anyway, but the way stewards have handed out punishment at this race weekend, he may have more misery coming.
Lap 35 – George Russell is up to fourth again with some more good overtaking. A sad case of what could have been for him today. His team say he can still finish fourth. Decent effort then.
Lap 38 – Ocon overtakes Vallteri Nottas for 7th as the final pit stops for everyone loom as the race enters the final 18 laps. Lando Norris within four second of his team mate in the battle for second place. Talking of second place, Sergio Perez gets a five second penalty for track limits. Solid weekend for the Red Bull driver who is lucky Lewis Hamilton crashed out in the hunt for second place in the Championship.
ORDER – VER PIA NOR RUS LEC ALO OCO BOT GAS STR
Lap 40 – The final pit stops begin in earnest. Not sure who Earnest is, or whether he wants any pit stops, but they are happening nonetheless.
Lap 41 – Logan Sargeant retires exhausted. WE won’t pick on him for that. It is a race in the middle of a desert.
Lap 44 – Oscar Piastri pits as his team mate closes within two seconds and sets fastest lap while Piastri pits. Piastri rejoins in the clear in fourth. Lando Norris pits a lap later and rejoins just as Oscar Piastri turns into the first corner, they are very close now. A decent battle looms for the last part of the race for second between the McLarens.
Lap 45 – Lance Stroll and Pierre Gasly get five second penalties.
Lap 47 – McLaren tell Lando Norris to hold position, which Norris rightly questions why. They can race surely? Norris was the quicker of the two McLarens in the last stint. So we will see if he listens or not.
Lap 51 – George Russell pits from second and drops to fourth. He is now battling McLarens for the podium and has a fresh set of soft tyres on against the hard tyres for the McLarens.
Lap 54 – Lance Stroll, Pierre Gasly and Sergio Perez battle for ninth place. Lance Stroll gets another penalty, so that’s sorted then. Wonder if Stroll will be as grumpy as he was in Friday’s press conference that found it’s way onto social media.
Lap 55 – Instead of George Russell catching the McLarens he is being caught by Charles Leclerc and there’s just enough time for the Ferrari to catch the Mercedes. Meanwhile Lando Norris proves a point and is within 1.5 seconds of his team mate.
Last lap – Somewhere out in the too distant future Max Verstappen cruises to victory – his 14th of the season no less. Less cruising than flying is Lando Norris who gets within a second of Oscar Piastri on the final lap, but the Australian seals his best ever proper race result with second. Another podium for Norris is still a good reward. George Russell recovers well to finish fourth and Leclerc has had a quiet run to fifth. We will wait on the final order with probably more penalties to be handed out based on the weekend so far.
FINAL ORDER (Across the line) – VER PIA NOR RUS LEC ALO OCO BOT PER ZHO
Pos
Driver
Grid
Time
1
Max VERSTAPPEN
1
57 Laps
2
Oscar Piastri
6
4.833 behind
3
Lando NORRIS
10
5.969 behind
4
George RUSSELL
2
34.119 behind
5
Charles LECLERC
5
38.976 behind
6
Fernando ALONSO
4
49.032 behind
7
Esteban OCON
8
62.4 behind
8
Valtteri BOTTAS
9
66.6 behind
9
Guanyu Zhou
19
76.1 behind
10
Sergio PEREZ
PIT
80.2 behind
11
Lance STROLL
16
81.7 behind
12
Pierre GASLY
7
82.3 behind
13
Alexander Albon
13
91 behind
14
Kevin Magnussen
18
+1 lap
15
Yuki TSUNODA
11
+1 lap
R
Nico Hulkenberg
14
+1 lap
R
Liam Lawson
17
+1 lap
R
Logan Sargeant
15
DNF (Lap 40)
R
Lewis HAMILTON
3
DNF (Lap 1)
R
Carlos SAINZ
PIT
DNF (Lap 0)
Here we go through the field and highlight the very best (Great) of the race, and the plodders, the over-ambitious, the out of luck, and simply hopeless (Grape).
These points get added to our Driver of the Season scores. points for a great nomination, and -5 for the worst or grapest driver in the pack. Then it is +2 /-2 for honourable or dishonourable mentions.
THE GREAT-EST – MAX VERSTAPPEN
A third World Championship secured with second place in the Sprint Race. An almost invisible performance for first in the main race and yet another win.
HONOURABLE MENTIONS
OSCAR PIASTRI – A sprint race win gives Piastri his first number one finish in his short F1 career, which he took with his usual amount of excitement, which is next to none. Drove a solid race on Sunday to get another podium with his usual calmness.
LANDO NORRIS – Was visibly disappointed after the sprint race where he watched his team mate win as he paid for qualifying mistakes. But climbed from 10th on the grid to the podium with another classy Sunday drive. Currently best of the non Verstappen drivers right now.
GEORGE RUSSELL – After dropping to the back of the field due to a clash with his team mate on lap one, Russell drove past a lot of cars, and ended up finishing fourth, showing enough pace for fans to be disappointed he didn’t get the chance to battle Verstappen for first and have a race at the front for a change.
ALFA ROMEO – Double points finish is timely at this end of the season..
THE GRAPE-EST – LEWIS HAMILTON
Just pips Sergio Perez for grape-est in the 2023 Qatar Grand Prix. Lewis Hamilton makes a super start and tries to take first place in a double swoop around the outside of turn one, only to perform a double stuff up as he hits his team mate, loses a right rear wheel and forces his team mate into a spin. A shame as he looked fast, as did George Russell.
DIS-HONOURABLE MENTIONS
SERGIO PEREZ – Another rubbish qualifying sees him stuck in the midfield during the race, and unlike George Russell, seems to struggle to make his way forward. Unlucky to have been taken out in the sprint race, but that’s what happens when you don’t qualify better. Basically wasting the Red Bull seat right now, a car capable of winning everything in the hands of Verstappen. Will be lucky to keep a hold of his drive for 2024 despite contract.
CARLOS SAINZ – A race winner not long ago, he didn’t even make the start of the Qatar Grand Prix.
NICO HULKENBERG – Taken out in sprint race after being sandwiched by Perez and Ocon. Took wrong grid slot for main race and got a ten second penalty. Not the luckiest F1 driver.
LOGAN SARGEANT – Spun off in the sprint race. Did OK in the main race, but ended up feeling poorly and had to retire. Not great when you’re trying to hang onto your seat for 2024.
LANCE STROLL – Held a particularly spiky press conference on Friday, and nothing else over the weekend would have made him happy. A few penalties in the race cost him points.
Was it a good race, loads of action, tense, or just a big, fat, snooze-fest.
We rate the big race itself so we know which races to go back and watch in the off season or one to simply remember the winner for the post season quiz nights.
Note: this is for the combined races.
SEASON IMPORTANCE – 10 / 10
Max Verstappen wins the Championship, so pretty definitive on that front. The battle for second will rage on after a shocker weekend from Lewis Hamilton and Sergio Perez. Plus the battle between ASton Martin and McLaren get interesting after McLaren’s big weekend.
ON TRACK ACTION – 7 / 10
Some good racing as the many pitstops mandated by the FIA sees the order shaken up every now and again. George Russell in particular was busy, but most of the front runners had to do some overtaking for a change. Not Max Verstappen, who only had to lap cars, including his team mate.
ENDING 3 / 10
McLaren killed the ending a little by wanting their drivers to hold position in the closest battle on track. Not that Lando Norris followed completely. But not much else happening apart from more penalties handed out to midfield runners.
OVERALL RATING 20 / 30
Decent enough race, not sure if the 18 lap tyre mandate helped or hindered. But the early 3am timeslot for viewers in some parts of the world didn’t help. Nor does another MAx Verstappen win. McLaren at least made it interesting, as did the Mecedes drivers, one very briefly and one during most of the race.
2023 F1 Season Power Rankings
Stay tuned for our Power Rankings from the race soon as it is currently being calculated and will be ready on Monday.
DELHI, INDIA - OCTOBER 07: South Africa's Gerald Coetzee celebrates the wicket of Sri Lanka's Dunith Wellalage during the ICC Men's Cricket World Cup 2023 match between South Africa and Sri Lanka at Arun Jaitley Stadium on October 07, 2023 in Delhi, India. (Photo by Pankaj Nangia/Gallo Images/Getty Images)
Important officials from an anonymous Sydney NRL club are currently on a research trip to India for the ICC World Cup. But it’s not the cricket-watching junket you’d expect.
“Everyone makes fun of our club for poor crowds, but the incompetence of the BCCI in the lead up to the Cup is inspirational,” said one Sydney-based NRL official (who wished to stay anonymous). “India is the biggest cricketing nation and rules the game financially, yet they can’t get anyone to turn up to cricket’s biggest event. Unless India are playing of course.”
The official is spending two weeks in India, where he plans to gather information on how to drive real fans away from the game so they’ll be forced to watch at home, thus ensuring advertising revenue and TV ratings go through the roof.
“All those empty seats are inspiring. If our home games can be half as empty in 2024, then I’ve done my job.”
A Brisbane man will celebrate Friday the 13th in style.
Steve and a group of mates will have a 24-hour horror movie marathon next Friday (October 13), starting at midnight and ending at midnight as Friday heads into Saturday.
“We’ve all got the Friday off, and the boys have spent the last week in our Messenger group sorting out what movies to watch,” said Steve. “We all have different tastes: I like old school slashers and long-running franchises, Timbo likes modern ‘Torture Porn’, Macca likes classic Hammer horror, and Davo likes pyschological horror because he’s a soft c**k.”
The crew will narrowed the list down to 12 movies, with a representation of old movies, new ones, and a variety of genres.
“My biggest job was selecting my favourite movies out of big franchises like Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Evil Dead, Child’s Play, Halloween and Hellraiser. Timbo is picking the best from Hostel, Saw, and other fucked up movies. Macca is combing through his favourite Christopher Lee movies. And Davo’s picking whatever wussy crap he likes.”
Though, with a 24-hour marathon likely to takes it toll, the group has drawn up a fair ‘break rule.’
“Everyone can nominate a two-hour period where they take a break: either to have a nap, get some fresh air, or to buy more beer and food, but they need to be back before the two hours is up so the next guy can get ready. It’s going to be a big day, so we need to pace ourselves.”
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of ‘The Betoota Advocate’. We swear.
