Ducking for cover like a Melbourne Storm assistant coach, slightly better than the Bunker for most things, attempting to sell himself to PNG to get some of that sweet sweet Government-Free moolah, asking the nearest president to overturn his ban at the local RSL for a drunken walk through a fountain, and playing out of position for the good of the team, it’s time for some Rugby League tips and opinion from The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey. The NRL Donkey provides his NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 25 Review & Ratings on the weekend of rugby league that was.
This NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 25 Review & Ratings is somewhat new now and offers up a second serving of NRL Donkey rugby league in a week. Why would the world need twice the NRL Donkey? First of all, how rude. Secondly, because no one delivers rugby league with such an honest, almost churlish attitude, not afraid to tell rugby league what he thinks. Sort of like Pauline Hanson but with none of the racism. The NRL Donkey hates everything and everyone equally. And now he gives it with both barrels – and both ends of a rugby league weekend in the NRL, with a review with a match by match thoughts and a preview with all the opinion and more.
Related – more serious Rugby League gear
- NRL Round 25 NRL Team of the Week
- NRL Round 25 NRL Weekly Stats & One Minute Match Reviews
- NRL Round 25 NRL NRL Donkey Preview and Rant
NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 25 Review
Here’s the NRL Donkey’s thoughts and mini rants on all of the games from the previous weekend.
THURSDAY 8PM – MELBOURNE 14 PENRITH 22
It’s been a year of breaking Melbourne records, and the Panthers have now ruined another, with Melbourne losing their first ever Thursday night game at AAMI Park. It was bound to happen one day, and this season has had a lot of those one-days. Mathematically out of finals contention now, they can have an early holiday for a change. Penrith needed to win to stop their wobbles and a poor Thursday record, and winning without their forward leader Isaah Yeo. Boxes ticked, now to ruin the Wahs minor premiership tilt.
FRIDAY 6PM – CANBERRA 30 BRISBANE 34
So the Broncos won a game. In Canberra too, which must bring back nightmares for the Raiders fans after last season’s heartbreaker. Talking of heart, the Broncos couldn’t have done it without Xavier Willison, and at least this week Payne Haas played more like Xavier than he recently. The win shifts the Broncos away from coming last, which would have been historic and kinda funny as last season’s premiers.
FRIDAY 8PM – DOLPHINS 34 PARRAMATTA 16
Parramatta jumped out to an early lead, smart play given they know the opening minutes of the game are Ray Stone-free. Of course once he entered the fray, both teammates and opposition fell into line, and the Dolphins produced their 2026 customary 15 minutes of good football. Imagine if this Dolphins team plays good for 60 minutes. Now is the time to do it, with Ray Stone announcing his retirement before the match, what more motivation do you need. If Ray Stone retiring isn’t enough to get you fired up to win a premiership, then get out and get out now.
SATURDAY 3PM – NEWCASTLE 24 MANLY 44
Fozball is back. A most unlikely result and the size of the victory almost makes me want to check certain bank accounts in certain regions. Whilst I don’t and very few would like to see too much success for Manly, it was nice to see Kieran Foran smiling again.
SATURDAY 5:30PM – SOUTH SYDNEY 26 WARRIORS 45
Wahs saw off the Rabbitohs with a third win and scoring 40 points or more. Their reward came on Sunday when the Roosters forgot to beat the Tigers, and the Warriors remained on top of the NRL ladder. Alex Johnston has now caught up with Tom Jenkins for leading try scorer, a feat that seemed highly unlikely earlier in the season. Who knows is Trell would have made a difference, but an even better rugby leagye story is coming, with the Warriors on track to break their drought.
SATURDAY 7:30PM – ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA 14 BULLDOGS 44
It was fun while it lasted for the Dragons, with the doubled-bad result of losing and the Broncos winning meaning they will finish last unless the Gold Coast give up two losses and the 132 points differential advantage. Can never say never. The games are at least favourable for the Dragons. The Bulldogs performance will probably only make their fans more frustrated when they still miss out on the top eight.
SUNDAY 2PM – GOLD COAST 22 CRONULLA 30
Another win for the Sharks over the Gold Coast, maybe that’s why the Gold Coast has nets installed for the actual sharks in the ocean. The Titans threw away a win that would have seen them mathematically safe from wooden spooning. Cronulla will be happy to bounce back from a two week blip in form, but have lost ground now for that top four finish.
SUNDAY 4PM – ROOSTERS 24 WESTS TIGERS 25
Imagine this is your pre-match tip for this game, you’d look pretty silly and arrogant.
The silliness and arrogance shouldn’t come as a surprise to regulars of this series, so fair to say that the Tigers winning was unexpected, even when they had a chance to blow the game post field goal, they held it together and held on. That’s two years in a row at the same ground that the Tigers have upset the Roosters. Like Richard Marx once said, should have known better.
NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 25 Ratings
The Gurgler website is famed for the many, many stats and visuals on offer, and think they’re really clever, and the NRL Donkey was feeling a little left out.
But of course the NRL Donkey doesn’t want to celebrate the good, his cynicism won’t allow it, so he has found two ways to celebrate the mediocre. The first is taking The Gurgler’s all-new Player Ratings system, where stats are used to determine a player score out of ten, and flipping it’s on it’s head by taking the worst scores in each position. Secondly, he has devised a way of seeing which players was the worst contributor, coming up with a points system for all manners of errors, penalties, missed tackles, and gave it the subtle title of the Sh!t Play Inde.
Plus AI Greg is here for his best of from the weekend.
NRL Donkey’s Stats – Not Quite Team of the Week
Here are the lowest ranked players per position to create the Not Quite Team of the Week.
NRL Donkey’s Stats – Sh!t Play Index
Compiling missed tackles, penalties, errors on a sliding scale, here are the top 10 most “influential” players this weekend and the “best” for season 2026.
