By Theydon Bois.

At The Gurgler, we love to celebrate the forgotten and uncelebrated. We also love sport, so why not  combine the two and go back down memory lane (the part of the brain used only for trivia nights) for a few of our favourite forgotten sporting teams.

DAIKYO DOLPHINS – Baseball.

In the first incarnation of the Australian Baseball League we remember a team backed by then Japanese Property gurus on the Gold Coast – Daikyo.

In addition to sponsoring the now defunct Palm Meadows Golf Tournament, they lent their name to one of the Gold Coast’s finest.

Like other Gold Coast teams it had a few incarnations, Gold Coast Dolphins, East Coast Cougars, and the Gold Coast Cougars.

Unlike most of the others listed here, the Daikyo Dolphins were actually good. Winning a title in 1991/92 before the league and themselves were given the sporting eviction notice.

GOLD COAST – Various

Whilst on the Gold Coast, here’s our array of forgotten teams from the Glitter Strip, which really was a Graveyard for sporting teams back in the day.

Rugby League may have finally got it right on the 4^th attempt with the Titans. Others not as successful or memorable, although the Chargers sure were memorable in the teal, black and purple. Probably most memorable for one of the better mascots of all time (Captain Charger) than any players or achievements.

We also remember the Brisbane Bears who resided on the Gold Coast instead of the city they were named for, the nickname Bears also match as it was actually a Koala. The “Gold Coast” “Bears” were a shambles that not even Warwick Capper could save. At one stage the Psychologist was left in charge to coach the side. Happily the Brisbane Bears woke up and realised that the team was named Brisbane for a reason and moved. Premierships and bandwagons followed.

Enjoy our featured players cards. 

CANBERRA COMETS – Cricket

Only the allure of the nation’s capital could convince the great Mike Veletta and legendary Merv Hughes out of retirement to come and play the blue ribbon Mercantile Mutual Cup for the Comets.

Their record did not set the comp on fire, barely even an ember for the three years they resided with the big boys. Not even big Merv could help the Comets, however they did finish second last two of their three years in the comp.

Their participation can barely be remembered, with only Mike Veletta sparking the brain.Manuka Oval is now left to wait for its token tour clash.

ALLIES AFL REP SIDE

Despite the success of State of Origin in rugby league, it never quite caught on in AFL.

An Allies team comprising of Qld, NSW, NT and Tasmania is our pick of the AFL bunch.

Instead of leaving one state as the last one anyone wants to select in the schoolyard to play with, they merged them into an AFL superteam. Ironically Qld and NSW are combined in AFL State of Origin.

They won too, beating Western Australia a few times. Take that Sangropers

 
HUNTER MARINERS AND ADELAIDE RAMS

Obvious Rugby League choices, and hard to choose between the two.

Both clubs are short lived – Adelaide two years and Hunter one, but they live on in the world of forgotten teams.

Hunter finished a respectable 6^th of 10 and Adelaide not embarrassing with 9^th of 10 and 17^th of 20.

It was a hard decision to choose, so we included limited edition Telstra Phonecards of both teams for your amusement.

If we had to choose though, A Rod Maybon trumps a Tony Iro most days.

LIFE F1

Possible the worst F1 team of all time in terms of performance. Andrea Moda who were thrown out for bringing the sport into disrepute in 1992 were more shambolic, but Life F1 are our choice for a forgotten F1 team

Better described on the F1 Rejects website, this team attempted to develop their own W12 engine – 3 banks of 4 cylinders during the 1990 F1 season.

Hopelessly assembled and slow, if it could manage a lap in pre-qualifying (a session eliminating the slowest cars before the top 30 got a go at 26 grid spots) it was usually many seconds or even minutes off the pace.

In these days the worst cars are a few seconds off the pace. Their first time they managed to get the car around the lap was a mere 35 seconds off the pace. Life’s “best” effort in prequalifying was a toe tapping 14 seconds off the pace. Their worst effort only took an additional 5 minutes 50 secs than the front.

AND…..

THE WALLABIES.

Becoming less and less relevant by the day.

Who really cares.

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By Theydon Bois.

As another year of Rugby League is done and dusted, and we all wait patiently for the new season’s draw to find out how many games Parramatta will get on Friday night, we’ve taken stock at The Gurgler, and come up with a bunch of ideas.

We’ve designed a draft draw for the 2015 season, with a healthy serving of different ideas that we’ve come up with for a few years now. Most will be met with howls of horror or passive aggressive disinterest, although that would be a nasty thing for you to say. And after sitiing on them for years

The thinking behind the draw in general is to ensure that it is a fairer draw, but with something different. And to ensure more of the best games are available to more.

I have faith that Rugby League doesn’t begin or end with SBW, Parramatta or Broncos playing every Friday night. Have the best games in the best timeslots and the fans will come, believe that people in Qld and NSW want the best possible game week in and week out not certain teams in timeslots.

Attached is the draw plus other diagrams to accompany, but we’ll explain some of the major points below.

THE DRAW

For the purpose of our draw for 2015, we’ve included an extra two teams, which the NRL should be looking to cater for by then or soon.

The major points are discussed below in a little detail, and accompanying diagrams should also provide some more info on our thoughts.

STAND ALONE ORIGIN PERIOD

With our proposed draw is a stand-alone origin period, with no shortened split rounds with origin players missing or waste of time weeks with 4 or 5 games.

Regular season round where every team plays each other once and these are alternated home and away each year to ensure in a two year cycle one team plays the other both home and away. IT also provides most of the other players a month long gap to recover, and less injured players means less drain on resources and ability to field extra two teams.

Play it Sunday or Monday night. No matter it will rate its socks off.

MARQUEE ROUNDS

The exception to this for teams which due to commercial interest each team gets to play twice – once each home and away. We’ve pooled three teams into groups and there are 6 groups. More explained in our diagram, but this ensures that the marquee games like Brisbane v Cowboys, Souths v Roosters, Parramatta v Canterbury, St George v Cronulla are played home and away each year. There are three marquee round where two teams in each marquee group play each other, and the alternative game is the remaining team playing the remaining teams in the next groups, this forms one of the normal fixtures. The two extra marquee games are in addition to each team playing each other once.

E.g. Group 1 – Team A v Team B Group 2 – Team A v Team B Other – Group 1 Team C v Group 2 Team C.

This makes sure you have the best games played at least twice during year. Marquee Groups can be reviewed and changed after each season. Ours is a suggestion only.

POOL ROUND / WILDCARD WEEK.

Another inclusion is once the regular season of 20 games is completed, the comp is then split into 3 groups of six teams based on ladder position. The final 5 games are played within that group of 6 teams, and qualification for the finals complicated a little to provide more live games in the back end of the season, and to add a little spice to the finals series and allows to provide a few more chances to make finals without expanding past the current 8 teams.

Pools would be split into 1-6, 7-12 and 13-18. All teams within these pools will pay each other only in the last five weeks. Points from first 20 rounds stay, but the path to the finals changes. Games would be redrawn for the 6 teams with the top 3 getting three home games and other two as a reward.

From the 1-6 pool, teams 1 to 5 automatically qualify for one of the 8 finals positions, Team 6 would go into the Wildcard round to play in a special pre-finals week against teams from other pools. From the 7-12 pool, only Team 7 automatically qualify. Teams 8 and 9 would go into the Wildcard weekend also. And from the 13-18 Pool, only the top of this 6 team pool qualify for the Wildcard round. Team 6 would play Team 9 and Team 8 would play Team 13. The winners would then take positions 7 and 8 in current finals format.

This provides the best possible games leading into finals in the Top 6, and gives teams from 7 – 18 after 20 rounds more to play for longer into the year instead of giving up with some rounds to go. It also gives a week off before the finals for some teams to ensure the best teams are in the best shape.

You could argue why Team 7 should qualify ahead of Team 6, but in most seasons, a team in the top 6 drift in last few weeks and are usually promptly bundled out of the end of season shindig. Plus it would make every game worth winning and reward teams who play right to end of year. It also allows the NRL to have 10 finals chances without changing the current 8 team final format.

TV TIMES

It’s our belief that there should be one game on Thursday and Friday night. Not two on Friday.

Forget regional viewers, I’m sure real League fans want to see the best teams play not a team just because it suits broadcasting requirements. It would be better value for broadcasters to have two prime time games over two days, instead of a late 2^nd game on Friday usually watched by die-hard fans or fans of KFC ads.

Monday night stays, with three games on Saturday and Sunday live and not overlapping. Free to air should also play the Sunday game live. Replayed games are a copout.

Certain safeguards though must be enforced that there must be a min 5 day gap between, and that teams can only do the 5 day back up a maximum of three times during the year.

SUPER WEEKEND

Also included is a Super Weekend. An idea inspired by the UK Super League where all teams play at one venue over a whole 3 days of a weekend. If you have been to one, you’d appreciate how good an idea it is.

The teams are drawn out of a hat, and venue up for tender every year. Games played over Friday to Sunday, and tickets to be sold as either 3 day or 1 day pass. Revenue shared between all clubs.

PACIFIC CUP

During the Origin period to supplement the lack of action is a small knockout cup to give the lesser teams in RL their time to shine, and give the viewing public a distraction, but nothing to take too much away from the State of Origin, In fact you would only probably televise semi-finals and the final on Friday night as a warm up to the final Origin game.

This is in addition to a super bowl of Qld Cup v NSW Cup winners on NRL Grand Final day. Which is not our idea, but highly recommended.

We would have like to implement a Challenge Cup/FA Cup style comp to run alongside the NRL, but there would be no way anyone would agree to it.

CONCLUSION

There’s a lot of different ideas, probably some unfeasible, and I can see the arguments about certain teams may play each other 4 or 5 times if they make finals. However if they are the best teams and best games why wouldn’t you want to see more of them.

As a Souths fan there was certainly nothing wrong with seeing Roosters v Manly twice in finals, and more throughout year.

Anyways, food for thought. Any change an improvement.

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By Theydon Bois.

So the Rugby League season has reached its pinnacle, and WOW, what a Grand Final to look forward to. Manly Sea Eagles v Sydney Roosters.

For the respective fans of these clubs – good on you.

But for the man on the street whose teams have been eliminated wrapped in various coats of honour, it’s a hard decision. Do I care, and if I do, who do I care about?

Well with any tough decision in life, it is best to make a pros and cons list and decide at the end after you have compiled this. Well to save you time in this hectic world, The Gurgler have provided their list of pros and cons.

CON – Manly – hard to like
CON – Roosters – also hard to like
PRO – Manly have George Rose – a rare interesting Australian sportsman
PRO – Manly have a Maroon jersey
CON – Roosters have a Blue jersey.
PRO – Manly have current and former Qld origin players.
CON – Roosters have several NSW reps.
CON – Manly do have Watmough.
PRO – Daly Cherry Evans
CON – Manly destroyed the North Sydney Bears
CON – SBW – although at least I’ll be at the game and won’t have to put up with the endless, endless SBW slow motion montages with quasi-inspirational wank rock.
PRO – if Roosters win GF – rumour is SBW is going back to Rugby Union – elimatinating more of the above next year.
PRO – George Rose
PRO – Anthony Minichiello
CON – Michael Jennings
CON – A Manly win featuring one or more Stewart brother’s tries will have Ray wetting his pants in the commentary box. Although once again I’ll be at the game so happy to miss it.
CON – Michael Slater likes Manly.
CON – Souths hates the Roosters.
PRO – The Footy Show will be over for another season.

So by the count above it is 5 Pros and 5 Cons for Manly. 2 Pros and 5 Cons for Roosters. So, based on this most thorough of statistics above, the Gurgler recommends you stock up on food and beverage, put the TV mute on, and bet early and bet often.

Make up your mind though on who to support, like tough decisions in life, they should be made by you.

A disclaimer – the author is a lifelong Souths fan based in Queensland who is still bitter and sad at their demise (although appreciative that there have been many, many worse years – looking at you “Supercoach” Langmack) and who probably like other Souths fans bought Grand Final tickets several months ago whilst sliding the poultry across the abacus.

By Patrick Heisenberg.

It was recently announced that the WACA ground (Perth) has been stripped of hosting its annual test

match for the 2014/15 series against India.

This series will be comprised of four matches whereas generally the Australian test match summer

spans five or six matches. Resultantly the powers that be at Cricket Australia (CA) have deemed the

WACA to be the unfortunate fall-guy. It will be the first time “the WACA” has not hosted its annual test

match in almost 40 years.

This decision has been met with impassioned criticism from the sandgropers and general concern

from the wider Australian cricketing public. Cricket fans will never want their favourite and/or local

venue to miss out, especially one as revered as the WACA. Its reputation as a pace bowler’s dream

is resounding and omnipresent across the cricketing globe. It has also played host to some peerlessly

ferocious, tense and bloody battles over the course of its history.

Cynics have pointed to India and its questionable yet influential administrative juggernaut, the BCCI,

as the source behind this decision. I take issue with a great many things the BCCI do, or don’t do in

the case of DRS, and so too do a great many others. But in this case I believe the ‘enemy’, if we want

to be dramatic, or ‘source’ behind this decision is home-grown.

To underline my point we must first consider which venues will host matches during this series:

Brisbane, Adelaide, Melbourne and Sydney. Now let’s look at their approximate patron capacities:

• Brisbane’s ‘Gabba’ has a capacity of roughly 42,000

• The Sydney Cricket Ground holds roughly 44,000 (the figure is presently difficult to define

amidst its current renovation period)

• Adelaide is being extended to around 53,000

• The M.C.G. is a well-known monolith, holding up to 95,000 seated spectators.

The WACA has a capacity of roughly 22,000. That’s around half the size of the smallest venue shown

above. CA’s CEO James Sutherland touched on my not so subtle implication when discussing their

decision. “Though a traditional Test match venue with a proud history, the WACA ground has the

smallest capacity of the five mainland Test venues and has historically attracted lower attendances,”

Now, without clarifying his exact thoughts, I wish to, tongue firmly in cheek, rebut the question “what

22,000 seat ground has higher attendances when compared with grounds that are 2-4 times the size?”

I presume he means that the attendances are lower “per capita”, and on this notion I pose the

question to the infuriated Perth public – “if you care so much, why don’t more of you show up when

you do have a test match?” I believe this is a fair question.

The days of cricket being a gentleman’s game that was solely focused on enjoyment and rivalry are

long gone. There are, to this very day, gentlemanly acts and also fierce rivalries, but behind these

fundamental principles lie the administrators and their KPI’s and monetary-based targets and goals

and views to expansion and global domination.

Test cricket makes money – a lot of money. It makes its money through ticket sales, advertising and

international broadcasting rights. If we accept the unfortunate but true notion that cricket is now

as much of a business as it is a sport, what governing body in their right mind would play a game

in a location that was known to produce less money? It is accepted and acceptable that when the

Australian cricketing calendar has six test matches scheduled for the summer that each of the six

main test match grounds are used. I speak, in this case, of the “one versus the other” selection criteria

for which grounds to use in this shortened test summer, when exclusion of venues is a relevant factor.

Do you choose the ground that looks old, worn and, on its absolute best day, can only seat half its

closest competitor? Or do you choose the ground that is newer, better, seats more people and thus

makes more money? As a passionate fan you pick your favourite ground and/or the one you envision

the biggest advantage or greatest tussle, as a businessman you pick the ground that prints the most

money, results be damned.

The times, they are a-changing. And they have been for a long time now. Western Australian

cricket must acknowledge the obvious and move ahead or this will continue to happen. I for one

love the WACA and would never want that, but if it were to I’d blame those at its helm and not the

businessmen who are currently being presented with a lopsided, weak argument for the WACA

compared to some very strong arguments against it. Money talks in this world, cricket is no longer an

exception.

Get to know Patrick Heisenberg on out About Us page.