Time to say goodbye to one of Rugby League’s greats. From Kings Cross to Bondi to Goulburn to many Cronulla nightclubs, Todd Carney has left his mark/s on the game of Rugby League and Australia itself.
He may not have got the chance to play for Cronulla one last time, but The Gurgler has ensured he plays one more game in Australia.
Live from the Rugby League capital of Australia in Gosford comes the Todd Carney Testimonial.
All your favourites and more (and less) will be there to see off Australia’s forgotten man of Rugby League.
Welcome to the weekly sporting review that has almost as many readers as spectators at a Wallabies game.
This week is brought to you be the letter F, and the number 2. For the F there’s footy finals, foreign football, Formula E, and Golf. The number 2 is for the amount of finals games in each code this weekend, and possibly the amount of fans that watched the Wallabies.
AFL FINALS
Two great finals and for the first time since Collingwood in 2007 a team from outside the Top 4 makes the second last week of the finals. In this case it is two teams that have upset the apple cart. Both teams will more than likely act as small speed bump on route to the Buddy Franklin final, but the two were unfancied last week, and North Melb have beaten all of the remaining teams.
NRL FINALS
Not very often can a Souths fan clock off in a finals game with 20 minutes to go. After pantsing Manly in the first 60, they took a hard earned break and got a decent mouthful from the boss. Souths have merely raised the hopes to a level of higher future disappointment.
Penrith were the heroes of the finals, causing one of the two upsets of the finals. The Roosters felt they were robbed, but it certainly has opened up the finals since the once premiership favourites lost. In Soward Penrith have some kind of saviour, which is surprising to say the least for a player who wasn’t wanted by anyone it seemed last season.
More on the Broncos and Cowboys. Less on the Bulldogs – Storm. Another game over by halftime, and the Bulldogs Manly showdown is looming as a real finals battle (read boring as f***).
FORMULA E
Motor Racing fans have been craving a summer series since the A1GP got into bed with Ferrari, ended up broke, and vanished. In Formula E you have your new off F1 season distraction.
Sure they don’t have the speed, sound, tracks, team, prestige, history of F1, but they do have a shitload of ex F1 drivers to remember and enjoy.
The Gurglers Top 5 drivers who should be in Formula E are below. Pierluigi Martini
Andrea de Cesaris
Pedro Chaves
Ralph Firman
Sakon Yamamoto
As in any good series, a last lap crash will always get the punters interested, especially between 1st and 2nd, especially at the last corner, escpeically involving sons of F1 legends and former F1 star Nick Heidfeld. The crash is below for your amusement.
QLD CUP FINALS
A great accompaniment to a lazy Sunday afternoon. Ipswich and Wynnum were the entertainers from the weekend. Ipswich who at one stage in the second half were 10points up threw the ball around like a team behind by 18 with 5 minutes to go. They should have maybe concentrated on their right side after Wynnum sent raid after raid and kick after kick into that corner for many tries.
The big party is on at Suncorp in two Sundays time. All three grade equals Brisbane’s best day out.
FADING POWERS?
Premiership powerhouses Melbourne Storm and Geelong Cats are now out of their respective finals. Is it the end of a golden era, or just a bad year? Like Souths or Melbourne Demons fans, there’s always next year.
BRONCOS
Played like a team who lost their final game to seal their spot in the eight. Dropped the ball as if on a commission for error rate, and only came to life when far too late. Martin Kennedy get s special mention as the worst purchase of a player by a SEQ rugby league since Garrick Morgan. Happily, with Four Qld Cup feeder sides, he’ll have plenty of choice next year for scenery.
COWBOYS
Conspiracy already abounds at the severity of the Tariq Sims sentence. They’ve still got a knock out final in Sydney this weekend to make it a three-peat of controversial exits.
WALLABIES
Why wouldn’t you take a Test against Argentina to cemetery of Australian sport. Smallest crows ever, and hopefully another nail in the coffin for the SAAB of Australian sport.
NRL TV FIGURES
Down 3.6 million. A quick check on the ABC discussion on Sunday should give plenty of reasons why. So will the Gurgler soon. Channel 9’s thoughts? Live game on a Sunday. More than likely in Sydney with the small rotation of Rab’s favourite teams.
GURGLER SUPER MULTI pays $1990
NORTH MELBOURNE with 26.5 point start v Geelong
HAWTHORN to win by 25 +
NORTH QLD to beat Roosters
MANLY to beat Bulldogs
JIMMIE JOHNSON to win Nascar race
BOX HILL to win VFL Grand Final
EAST PERTH to win WAFL GF
DORTMUND to win in Bundesliga
WYNNUM to beat Easts
The new Gurgler Live podcast is here, and we are well into the territory of more episodes than listeners as we chalk up number 8. Almost as many as the many rugby fans that turned up on Saturday night.
Max Layne joins host Derek Ottoman for another session of the internet's least heard podcast.
At least this week Derek and Max amuse themselves with talk of the futuristic Space City Shopping Centre, alternative Navman voiceovers and an all new improved sports chat.
We wonder if some forgotten stars are dead or not, add another name to our ever expanding Crap Fantale Hall of Fame, and load a few more passengers on the Gurgler Rocket.
It's everything you could ever want, and all yours for just 13 easy payments of 189 Gurgler Schillings.
This was the last one produced in the series, and arguably our best. Keep an eye and ear out for a new summer series.
As Football finals get into full swing (which is something Greg Norman may never be able to do again, too soon?) it’s hard not to get into the sport on offer and forget the hidden gems that lies in the FTA rough.
We list our favourites below so you can save time and watch all the ACA you can stand.
P.S. there’s still plenty of sport, so we’ll contradict ourselves and list the sport first.
SPORTING HIGHLIGHTS
WED 04:30 SBS – CHAMPIONS LEAGUE – DORTMUND v ARSENAL
THU 04:30 SBS – CHAMPIONS LEAGUE – BAYERN MUNICH v MAN CITY
FRI 19:30 7MATE – AFL FINALS
FRI 19:30 CH9 – NRL FINALS
SAT 14:00 7TWO – HORSE RACING
SAT 19:30 7MATE- AFL FINALS
SAT 19:30 CH9 – NRL FINALS
SAT 22:30 ONE – SINGAPORE GP QUALIFYING
SUN 14:00 CH9 – INTRUST CUP FINALS
SUN 21:55 CH10 – SINGAPORE GP
BEST OF THIS WEEK
MONDAY
19:30 11 – THE SIMPSONS
20:30 ABC – LOUIS THEROUX IN LAS VEGAS
21:30 GO – DR NO
21:50 SBS2 – SOUTH PARK
23:20 SBS2 – SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM
TUESDAY
19:30 SBS – THE SIXTIES
20:00 GO – PART 2 TOP GEAR BURMA SPECIAL
20:30 7MATE – ARMAGEDDON
21:30 GO – ABOVE THE LAW
22:30 SBS2 – SOUTH PARK
WEDNESDAY
19:30 11 – SIMPSONS/FUTURAMA
20:00 ABC – QI / UTOPIA
22:30 ABC2 – OJ SIMPSON CAUGHT ON CAMERA
THURSDAY
20:30 SBS2 – SOUTH PARK/DRUNK HISTORY
23:00 SBS2 – MORE SOUTH PARK
FRIDAY
22:30 GO – SPACEBALLS
23:50 GEM – CONVOY
SATURDAY
28:00 GO – SHORT CIRCUIT
20:30 SBS – APOCOLYPSE NOW REDUX
FOLLOWING THAT
DOCUMENTARY ON THE MAKING
SUNDAY
00:05 ABC2 – BREAKING BAD x 2
21:25 SBS2 – SOUTH PARK
22:00 SBS – MONTY PYTHON’S LIFE OF BRIAN
SHOPPING SEGMENTS OF THE WEEK
TVSN – $1 SANITIZE YOUR HOME
QUESTION OF THE WEEK
How come people who can’t be arsed or are too embarrassed to go to a Doctor for various ailments think it’s a much better idea to do it for a TV audience. Sure a deformed penis isn’t fun and you probably don’t want to show anyone else, limiting it one doctor than many thousand viewers makes much more sense. Unless you’re gear out happy.
THE PFFFT OF THE WEEK
Twitter Questions leading into ad breaks on Neighbours. With Twitter use on The Block very close second.
In life there are two kind of people. Some that breathe Oxygen, and the rest of the them that steal it.
The Gurgler is always about celebrating the forgotten and less important people and products of history. Dangling a carrot in the hope of providing enough discussion to get their forgotten hero back amongst the water cooler talk of the country and the world.
It doesn’t mean, however, that we don’t use the stick in place of the carrot from time to time.
With the ever growing pressures on the world The Gurgler thought it was time to clear the Earth of some of it’s less useful inhabitants. So, we introduce our Gurgler Rocket.
The Gurgler will compile a passenger list of theirs and our website readers choices and once our Rocket of approx. 200 is filled, we intend to send the rocket into the sun, and these people or things will never be seen again.
So we have our first 10 passengers, listed in our expanding passenger list on the left. Feel free to drop us a line at gurgler.chat@gmail.com to suggest some of your own.
Each week on the Gurgler Live podcast we’ll introduce our next batch. So stay tuned for the goodness.
What do Alfonso De Portago, Christian Danner, Stefan Bellof and The Gurgler have in common?
4 points is the answer.
The quickest GP of the year deserves the quickest possible review for your convenience. Let the forums waffle.
– Pretty embarrassing result for Rosberg. Hamilton crawled off the line and fell back a few places and gave Rosberg a golden opportunity to at least hold a gap. Couldn’t live with Ham’s pace, and errors handed the race to him without a fight. At least he won the trophy for ‘Who can speak the most Italian” on the podium.
– Vettel gambled with an early stop which cost him dearly, and was yet again overtaken on track by Ricciardo, who had another great race. He’s now getting so bold as to think the Red Bull should now be considering team orders to help his Title shot. Can’t argue with that thinking either. Singapore and Japan aren’t very forgiving tracks if the Mercedes get feisty with each other.
– Massa was quick. He goes pretty well when there’s no one else around to crash into. Bottas had a harder time of it with “Elbows” Magnussen.
– Unfortunately, the outside of Parabolica now has more concrete run off, meaning that running wide no longer delivers the same punishment. It was normally good for at least one DNF per race. Drivers can really get greedy with the curbing and plenty were getting a little slidey on it and not willing to lift off. The irony is one day someone’s going to push it that bit too far and get a big tankslapper on, and they’re going to hit the wall a lot harder than they would had all the gravel still been there.
Yes it’s finally here. Well tomorrow, which in Monday, which probably won’t matter as no one will read this until Tuesday, which by then Big Brother has started, and the usual fanfare has begun.
The Gurgler has no doubt the largest bunch of f***wits has been assembled for the general public to gork at nightly. From the ads already aired, there seems to be a bunch of people who a few stops journey on a train would be far too much to bare, and you can be guaranteed there’ll be plenty less to like.
Nothing like a person who doesn’t care if you like them or not, as long as you talk about them. Just to piss them off we won’t talk about them. Or a baker with attitude. Or a Gym Junkie with attitude. Like everyone else with attitude.
Many defend the show by advising we don’t have to watch it. Many thanks for the prescription – we won’t.
What we would like to watch is listed below.
BEST – Any Football
WORST – Thursday – GO – BIG MOMMA LIKE FATHER LIKE SON – Truly Awful
MONDAY
CH9 8:40pm BIG BROTHER – to prove us wrong above or angry up the blood.
CH10 8:30pm HAVE YOU BEEN PAYING ATTENTION
SBS1 9:30 LEGALLY BROWN
SBS2 11:15pm SOUTH PARK – You’ve probably worked it out by now, but we love South Park. We also welcome the many days a week it is on. All episodes gold.
TUESDAY
GO 8pm TOP GEAR BURMA – spreading their politically and subtle forein relations to another country as they attempt to build a bridge over the River Kwai. Some controversy over one of the comments once built.
SBS2 10:30pm MORE SOUTH PARK
WEDNESDAY
ABC 9:00pm UTOPIA – more of the same from Rob Sitch and co.
SBS 8:30pm LIVING WITH THE ENEMY – SBS doc on opposites attract with SBS finding the best Pauline Hanson look alike to spend time with a boatperson.
GO 8:30pm BOND MOVIE – DIE ANOTHER DAY
CH11 7:30pm SIMPSONS AND FUTURAMA
SBS2 10:20pm SOUTH PARK
THURSDAY
SBS2 8:30pm SOUTH PARK/DRUNK HISTORY
SBS2 9:20pm 9/11 DOCO – There’ll be plenty of tributes and snippets on the anniversary day, but best do it without the overtones of Ch9/7.
FRIDAY
GO 9:30pm BATMAN BEGINS – for those who can’t be arsed with Football
SATURDAY
ABC2 11:35pm BREAKING BAD
ABC from 11:30pm – RAGE GUEST PROGRAMMER
SUNDAY
SPORTS ROUND UP
FRIDAY – CH9 – 7:30pm – NRL FINAL 1
FRIDAY – CH73 – 7:30pm – AFL FINAL 1
FRIDAY – CH10 – 11:30pm – WRC AUSTRALIA
SATURDAY – ABC – 5:50am – WORLD BASKETBALL CHAMPS SEMI
SATURDAY – CH9 – 5:30/7:30pm – NRL FINALS 2 and 3
SATURDAY – 7MATE – 6:30pm – AFL FINALS 2
SATURDAY – CH7 – 2:00pm – V8’s SANDOWN 500
SATURDAY – 7TWO – HORSE RACING
SUNDAY – CH7 – V8’s – SANDOWN 500
FRI/SAT/SUN – 7TWO – DAVIS CUP – Aust v Powerhouse Uzbekistan
Qualifying for the Italian GP left us with a Noah’s Ark grid. The cars coming in two’s most of the way down the grid.
Just like in the animal kingdom, it will be survival of the toughest, and in this case the two to eight legs are replaced by 6 Mercedes cylinders. The silverest of those are at the front as expected, as is the pole to Hamilton, as is the tension between the two after claims that Nico ran into Ham on purpose.
Toto “Rosanna” Wolfe, head of Mercs, like Noah on the ark will have some trouble getting the duos to play nice. Threats of changing the line-up if the crashing continues should be warning enough to get Rosberg and the Ham to play nice. But it is a long straight and a tight chicane on the first lap.
Also one shouldn’t rule out action into the second chicane, the Lesmos and all around the first lap.
If they can survive the first lap, it should be a Silver Arrows benefit. But so was Spa, and that result ended up Down Under (pardon the pun). Other Mercedes cars should take up the spaces behind them, but with the racing as good as ever, you never know who might find themselves in the right place at the right time.
So, settle in for the shortest, fastest race of the year.
OUR TIPS
Winning Margin – under 5 seconds $1.90
THE HAM – Fastest Lap – $2.60
SERGIO PEREZ – Top 6 – $4.25
DANIEL KYVAT – Top 10 – $2.75
ROUGHIES
MASSA to lead after first lap – $21,00
1st OUT – MALDONALDO $15 or SUTIL $13
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