Gurgler’s Sports Review – Circling the Drain

By

-

December 15, 2014

A LEAGUE IS BETTER THAN NO LEAGUE.

People will surely scoff, and maybe it’s the boredom talking, but the A League is becoming a better prospect by the day. Without the usual oval ball antics to fill up a weekend in the colder months, the A League has assumed it’s mantle of best of whatever’s left.

But it’s not just a default option, a lot of the games are actually quite good, as long as you’re not expecting Messi, Ronaldo or Fashanu type of skills. It may be nearer to the third tier of English football than the first, but it still provides enough entertainment for the sports fan over summer. Sure there’s cricket, but there’s also Michael Slater.

And, another thing A League avoids unlike Channel 9 is a fairer sharing of the FTA love. Sure not every team has played yet, but at this stage of the year, they have shown more variety in a 10 team comp than NRL with 16. And the games, whilst often lower in quality than you can be used to higher up the football chain, there’s usually enough goals or enough hate between the sides to keep a person casually attached to the TV.

For a game that always been called the sleeping giant, comps like the NRL should be getting worried. The average figure of the NRL last year was 17,264, the A League so far this year is 14,362 nad rising. Crowds over 40,000 in Melbourne and Sydney should also be a worry. As is the intensity of the rivalry. Proper rivalry where teams hate each other.

So, it might be anyone’s Lipton, but is it better than nothing? Sure is. p.s. is also better than M.Slater.

WHY TEST CRICKET IS STILL KING

Anyone who persisted with the test match last week was rewarded with an enthralling ending to what was a see-sawing 5 days of test cricket. At regular intervals during the stoush it looked as if the game would grind into a draw, but unlikely things happened, and almost happened.

The first unlikely is a 12 wicket, game winning haul to Nathan Lyon. A note to selectors about sticking with players instead of dropping them every time they rate lower than a Channel 10 news broadcast.

Second surprise was just how close India came to snatching an unlikely win. Virat Kohli could have made an even bigger name for himself than he has already achieved by his double centuries with almost guiding India to an unlikely win.

A welcome return was the tensions on the fourth day too. Test cricket thrives on those confrontations, allowing for hours of stares and spite. Not surprising that David Warner was amongst it. Thankfully the selectors have gone with Steven Smith as new captain, as only Smith and Warner could be guaranteed of a starting place in 18months time, and we don’t need an Aussie captain like warner.

A final thing, for Channel 9. As at least 3 days of the test are played over weekdays, and an ever increasing percentage of the population needs to work on weekends too, why not have an hourly highlights package on one of their lesser channels. Sure, there’ll be a backlash from Antiques fans across Australia, but won’t it be worth it to give more people a few of the cricket every night, gaining better sponsor dollars in prime time. A day of a test could easily be edited into an hour package. An added bonus would be less time to listen to the self indulgent drivel that flows from the comm box. You would think that cricket began and stopped when the current comm box came and went.

AUSTRALIAN PGA GOLF

With a 7 hole playoff finally deciding the victor on Sunday, the Gurgler had a thought about how to best promote golf with new ideas.

Firstly, Golf is boring to watch. If it’s not Augusta or Miguel Angel Jiminez warming up for the British Open, it’s likely it will be boring as. So with the 7 hole play off we though maybe that could be extended into the final day.

We suggest a moving cut line that players have to stay within throughout the day, with a reducing margin to the leader. This will still allow a late charge, as they are likely to tee off much earlier than leader, and remove the bit players playing for pittance and never getting on TV anyway. One the back nine starts and the cut leaves just 10 players left, after every hole of the leader the next worse player gets cut no matter what shot on what hole they are playing. In the event of ties, all of the players on that score are cut. Then with each hole another is cut until only 2 remain, who battle it out for the title in sudden death. it would be a welcome and needed injection of life into the body of golf.

THE NRL DRAW RIGHT ON TIME

So finally the NRL Draw came out. As ever, a million miles behind the AFL, but the NRL should be used to that by now. We’ll delve into the draw itself in detail with Dr Sport later in the week but will pick out a good and bad thing on first reflection.

Good, no great, is the feast of League on Anzac Day. Diggers would surely love the choice of 5 games to watch – all live – on Anzac Day. Premium clashes no less, no just the Channel 9 friendly Roosters v Dragons “tradition game” – which for interest actually started on Fox.

Bad is the thinking that one less game during the origin period will make the fans happy. Wrong, what fans want is stand alone origin and proper rounds. People are sick of worthless round of 4,5,6 games that blight the comp each year.

FORMULA E-CITING

In the absence of anything decent from Motorsport over the off season apart from the occasional Bernie Ecc rant or cuckoo comment, we have the FIA’s eco friendly Formula E.

In what are essentially beefed up life sized radio control cars, ex F1 drivers join the series to merely confirm they’ll never drive F1 again by competing. A surprise was to see Jean Eric Vergne confirming so early in his career that he’ll never drive again in F1. Not that F1 will miss his surly demeanour.

Whilst the environmental merits are to be applauded, it is hoped that F1 doesn’t head too far down this green trail. Although the halfway change of cars is worth thinking about.

Any port in a storm I guess with no other motorsport, but it makes you think about how good the old A1GP championship really was as a summer stopgap.

YOUR FTA SPORTS TV GUIDE HIGHLIGHTS

Another test, Big Bash starts, A League. It’ll do…nicely

[table caption=”FTA SPORT” width=”500″ colwidth=”100|100|100|200″ colalign=”left|left”]
Day,Time,Channel,Sport
Wed,9am,CH9,Cricket – Test Day 1
Thu,9am,CH9,Cricket – Test Day 2
Thu,7:30pm,CH10,Cricket – Big Bash
Fri,9am,CH9,Cricket – Test Day 3
Fri,6pm,SBS,Football – A League
Fri,7:30pm,CH10,Cricket – Big Bash
Sat,9am,CH9,Cricket – Test Day 4
Sat,10am,ONE,Cricket – Big Bash Replay
Sat,6pm,CH10,Cricket – Big Bash
Sat,9:30pm,ABC2,Boxing – Thrilla in Manila
Sun,9am,CH9,Cricket – Test Day 5
Sun,10am,ONE,Cricket – Big Bash Replay
Sun,6pm,CH10,Cricket – Big Bash
[/table]

European Football Weekly – Gurgler’s Eurotrash

By

Theydon Bois

-

December 12, 2014

0

Welcome to the new Euro Football Weekly – Eurotrash.

Here we delve into the reaches of the many European Football Leagues on offer, all with claims to be as good if not better than the EPL.

Each week we’ll go through the Spanish, Italian, and French Leagues in detail, with some updates and tidbits on other leagues.

For your German news and views, help yourself to our separate Bundesliga column here and look out for it each week.

So enjoy our thoughts, stats and best bets which are the best that money can’t buy.

Major talking points are who has qualified for the next round of the Champions League and Europa League, and who has been punished with no extra football or more football in the Europa League.
The big show in Spain is the tit for tat achievement of Ronaldo and Messi. Ronaldo, whose 23 goals are more than 14 teams’ totals in La Liga is on a hot scoring spree. Not to be outdone is Messi who has been scoring hatrick after hatrick. They battle as the likely Best Player in the World title from FIFA, unless a mysterious Arabian players who no one knows pays enough for the honour. The Gurlger would like to see this battle continue into facial hair. Surely the two footballing geniuses would look the part with moustaches.
The top 2 play each other in Portugal – Porto and Benfica.
Two of the big clubs in Holland clash too, Feyenoord v AZ Alkmaar

[soccer-info id=’1′ type=’table’ style=’red_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’LA LIGA TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’5′ type=’table’ style=’green_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’SERIE A TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’6′ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’LIGUE 1 TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’7′ type=’table’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=DUTCH LEAGUE TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’4′ type=’table’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’Portuguese Table’ /]

[soccer-info id=’8′ type=’table’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’Belgian League Table’ /]

[soccer-info id=’31’ type=’table’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’The Celtic Premier League’ /]

[soccer-info id=’265′ type=’table’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ /]

Here’s the best of the upcoming action….

ITALY – Juventus v Sampdoria
ITALY – Genoa v Roma
SPAIN – Atletico Madrid v Villareal
FRANCE – Monaco v Marseille
HOLLAND – Feyenoord v AZ
PORTUGAL – Port v Benfica

Here’s the rest of the upcoming fixtures from Spain, Italy and France.

[soccer-info id=’1′ type=’fixtures’ style=’red_light’ title=’LA LIGA UPCOMING FIXTURES’ limit=’10’ /]

[soccer-info id=’5′ type=’fixtures’ style=’green_light’ title=’SERIE A FIXTURES’ limit=’10’ /]

[soccer-info id=’6′ type=’fixtures’ style=’red_light’ title=’LIGUE 1 FIXTURES’ limit=’10’ /]

So it’s all come to this, our best selections and tips for you to turn into many dollar, pound, euro or rupee. Please accept our best bets.

Bet early – bet often.

[table caption=”EURO SUPER MULTI – $1 pays $286″ width=”500″ colwidth=”300|200″ colalign=”left|left”]
Bet, Game
REAL MADRID to win,v Almeria
BARCELONA to win,v Getafe
REAL SOCIEDAD to win,v Ath Bilbao
DRAW,Juventus v Sampdoria
NAPOLI to win,v AC Milan
DRAW,Nantes v Bordeaux
ST ETIENNE to win,v Nice
[/table]

[table caption=”La Liga Form,” width=”300″ colwidth=”125|125|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]

Result,Team,Games

Unbeaten,Real Madrid,11

Wins,Real Madrid,11

Without Win,Granada,10

Loss,Celta Vigo,3

Most Draws,Cordoba,7 (14)

Best Home Record,Atl Madrid,19pts (7)

Worst Home Record,Almeria,3pts (7)

Best Away Record,Real Madrid,18pts (7)

Worst Away Record,Espanyol,2pts (7)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Real Madrid,21

Least Goals Scored last 6,Deportivo ,1

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Rayo Vallecano,13

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Real Madrid/Ath Bilbao,3

[/table]

[table caption=”Serie A Form,” width=”300″ colwidth=”125|125|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]

Result,Team,Games

Unbeaten,Napoli,11

Wins,Genoa,3

Without Win,Cesena,13

Loss,Parma,4

Most Draws,Sassuolo/Sampdoria,7 (14)

Best Home Record,Roma,22pts (8)

Worst Home Record,Parma/Cagliari,3pts (7)

Best Away Record,Juventus,17pts (8)

Worst Away Record,Cesena,1pt (7)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Juventus,14

Least Goals Scored last 6,Parma,4

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Cagliari,15

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Juventus,2

[/table]

[table caption=”Ligue 1 Form,” width=”300″ colwidth=”125|125|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]

Result,Team,Games

Unbeaten,PSG,17

Wins,St Etienne,3

Without Win,Lille,8

Loss,Nantes/Bastia,3

Most Draws,PSG,7 (17)

Best Home Record,Lyon/Marseille,24pts (9)

Worst Home Record,Caen,4pts (8)

Best Away Record,PSG,17pts (9)

Worst Away Record,Metz,4pts (9)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Lyon/PSG/Marseille,11

Least Goals Scored last 6,Lille,3

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Caen,16

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,St Etienne,2

[/table]

UK Football Weekly – Gurgler’s Own Goal

By

Theydon Bois

-

December 12, 2014

0

Welcome to the Gurgler’s UK Football Weekly. We discuss things UK Football, and it doesn’t begin in Manchester and finish in London. We care about all four leagues and below if we have time. All your favourite stars are here too with the exception of Ariaga II. Enjoy the finest

Previously one horsed EPL took an unexpected turn last weekend when previously unbeaten Chelsea lost in Newcastle. It was a surprising result but not as surprising after hearing that a Mourinho led Chelsea had never won at Newcastle. Maybe it is the cold weather as their record in the north east this year is 2 games – 1 draw.
Making the title race is Manchester City who have now taken over the best unbeaten streak in the EPL, and who have appeared to turn the corner since their Bayern Champions League win. They’ll have to do it without Aguero, but with the amount of money they have spent on their squad one of the multi million dollar strikers should be able to fill the void against the team with the longest run without a win – Leicester.
Man Utd are looking to reduce the Champions League places to one with a run of 5 wins. Albeit against weaker teams, which should continue against a Liverpool side that look no better than most of Man Utd’s recent opponents. With another barrel full of cash to be spent by Van Gaal in the next few windows, it looks likely like money will talk for third spot.
Much closer is the Championship whose Top 4 is within a win of each other and just as close further down. 1st plays 4th this weekend and either team could be top depending on results.
League One and Two return this weekend after an FA Cup interruption. Teams will be looking to continue or turn around their FA Cup form, and try not to get distracted by their potential third round games. Wimbledon will be the most distracted after drawing Liverpool at home.

List a few quick points of interest or amusing news.

[soccer-info id=’2′ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’EPL TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’20’ type=’table’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’Championship Table’ /]

[soccer-info id=’21’ type=’table’ style=’red_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’L1 TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’22’ type=’table’ style=’red_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’L2 TABLE’ /]

– EPL – Arsenal v Newcastle
– EPL – Manchester United v Liverpool
– EPL – WBA v Aston Villa
– CHAMP – Middlesboro v Derby
– CHAMP – Brentford v Blackburn
– L1 – Presston v Milton Keynes
– L2 – Wycombe v Southend

Here’s the rest of the upcoming fixtures.

[soccer-info id=’2′ type=’fixtures’ style=’blue_light’ title=’EPL UPCOMING FIXTURES’ limit=’10’ /]

[soccer-info id=’20’ type=’fixtures’ title=’Championship Fixtures’ limit=’12’ /]

[soccer-info id=’21’ type=’fixtures’ style=’red_light’ title=’L1 Fixtures’ limit=’12’ /]

[soccer-info id=’22’ type=’fixtures’ style=’red_light’ title=’L2 Fixtures’ limit=’12’ /]

So it’s all come to this, our best selections and tips for you to turn into many dollar, pound, euro or rupee. Please accept our best bets.

[table caption=”EPL MULTI – $1 pays $65″ width=”300″ colwidth=”150|150″ colalign=”left|left”]
Bet, Game
CHELSEA to win,v Hull
MAN UTD to win,v Liverpool
CRYSTAL PALACE to win,v Stoke
MAN CITY to win,v Leicester
DRAW,WBA v Aston Villa
WEST HAM to win,v Sunderland
[/table]

[table caption=”CHAMPIONSHIP MULTI – $1 pays $148″ width=”300″ colwidth=”150|150″ colalign=”left|left”]
Bet, Game
NOTTS FOREST to win,v Rotherham
IPSWICH to win,v Bolton
BLACKBURN to win,v Brentford
WATFORD to win,v Wigan
DRAW,Sheff Wed v Wolves
[/table]

[table caption=”L1 MULTI – $1 pays $14″ width=”300″ colwidth=”150|150″ colalign=”left|left”]
Bet, Game
BRISTOL CITY to win,v Crawley
PORT VALE to win,v Coventry
SHEFFIELD UTD to win,v Fleetwood
OLDHAM to win,v Yeovil
[/table]

[table caption=”L2 MULTI – $1 pays $81″ width=”300″ colwidth=”150|150″ colalign=”left|left”]
Bet, Game
EXETER to win,v Carlisle
PORTSMOUTH to win,v Accrington
DRAW,York v Wimbledon
NEWPORT to win,v Stevenage
LUTON to win,v Morecambe
BURTON to win,v Hartlepool
[/table]

So you want more? Well we shall reward your perseverance thus far and dazzle you with some more important stats that matter. Or don’t. Whatever.

[table caption=”EPL Form,” width=”300″ colwidth=”125|125|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]

Result,Team,Games

Unbeaten,Man City,6

Wins,Man Utd ,5

Without Win,Leicester,10

Loss,Leicester/Southampton,3

Most Draws,Sunderland,9 (15)

Best Home Record,Chelsea,21pts (7)

Worst Home Record,WBA,6pts (8)

Best Away Record,Man City,17pts (8)

Worst Away Record,QPR,0pts (7)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Man City,13

Least Goals Scored last 6,Hull/WBA,2

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Leicester,11

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Newcastle,3

[/table]

[table caption=”Championship Form,” width=”300″ colwidth=”125|125|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]

Result,Team,Games

Unbeaten,Bournemouth,10

Wins,Ipswich/Shef Wed,2

Without Win,Rotherham,8

Loss,Wolves,5

Most Draws,Charlton,11 (20)

Best Home Record,Ipswich,23pts (10)

Worst Home Record,Blackpool,8pts (10)

Best Away Record,Middlesboro,20pts (10)

Worst Away Record,Blackpool,4pts (10)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Brentford,15

Least Goals Scored last 6,Rotherham,1

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Wolves,16

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Middlesbrough/Birm City,3

[/table]

[table caption=”League 1 Form,” width=”300″ colwidth=”125|125|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]

Result,Team,Games

Unbeaten,Milton Keynes,9

Wins,Swindon,4

Without Win,Peterborough,6

Loss,Colchester,4

Most Draws,Oldham,9 (19)

Best Home Record,Milton Keynes,23pts (10)

Worst Home Record,Leyton Orient,6pts (9)

Best Away Record,Bristol City,19pts (10)

Worst Away Record,Gillingham,3pts (9)

Most Goals Scored last 6,MK Dons,12

Least Goals Scored last 6,Yeovil,2

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Leyton Orient,14

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Walsall ,2

[/table]

[table caption=”League 2 Form,” width=”300″ colwidth=”125|125|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]

Result,Team,Games

Unbeaten,Newport/Exeter,8

Wins,Southend,4

Without Win,Hartlepool,7

Loss,Bury/Hartlepool,3

Most Draws,York,9 (19)

Best Home Record,Shrewsbury,28pts (10)

Worst Home Record,Hartlepool,6pts (10)

Best Away Record,Wycombe,23pts (10)

Worst Away Record,Carlisle,4pts (9)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Shrewsbury,14

Least Goals Scored last 6,Mansfield,3

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Cheltenham/Carlisle,15

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Plymouth/Luton,3

[/table]

Gurgler Man of the Year Voting Open Now

By

Kaaps Loche

-

December 11, 2014

0

All the nominations are in, and the coveted prize The Golden Turpie for 2014 is now up for grabs.

We have already announced six of the finest nominations and now it’s time for you Joe and Josephine Public to vote for your favourite.

Forgot who to vote for? Catch up with who, why, why did we bother below….

World Cup Winning German Coach
Joachim Loew

Long Suffering Drought Breaking Mascot
Reggie the Rabbitoh

Market and Meerkat Comparing Mogul
Aleksandr Orlov

Rugby’s Only Interesting Human
Honey Badger

World Safari Junior
Alby Mangels Jnr

Commentary Doyen
Richie Benaud

Fussball Frolics – Gurgler’s Bundesliga Weekly

By

admin

-

December 11, 2014

0

We’ve been accused of being far too English-centric with our Football coverage, so we thought we’d get as far away from the English game as possible.

Please accept our all new German Bundesliga Football Weekly, proudly brought to you each week by Count Klaus von Dutchmann III.

The Bundesliga had a weekend off for teams to play in the Champions League with mixed results all round. Although Borussia Dortmund secured a scrappy win in Rd 14 against Hoffenheim, they could only manage a draw against Anderlecht in their pool match on the weekend. Why is this significant? With Dortmund sitting on the wrong end of the Table, they needed to boost the morale of the black and gold faithful. They did this by pouring beers at the Christmas party!

Getting the fans drunk may work for a few rounds, lets hope the Christmas cheer continues against 15^th place Ho Ho Hertha Berlin
[soccer-info id=’3′ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’BUNDESLIGA TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’3′ type=’results’ title=’BUNDESLIGA RESULTS’ limit=’9′ /]

[soccer-info id=’24’ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’BUNDESLIGA 2 TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’24’ type=’results’ title=’BUNDESLIGA 2 RESULTS’ limit=’9′ /]

The game of the week though is Bayer 04 Leverkusen versus Borussia Monchengladbach. They are equal 4^th with Leverkusen ahead on goal difference. My tip is Leverkusen with the home advantage. Also the Hoffenheim/Eintracht Frankfurt game should be a christmas cracker. Certainly a Kenny Calendar special, with the nose broken in 3 places. I’m steering clear of it in my multi. I hear the edelweiss asking, ‘what about 1^st vs 3^rd’?? Well Bayern Munchen are playing out of their skins in both the league and champions league. Augsburg seem to be running on borrowed time to be in 3^rd. I have the HP sauce ready to eat these words if the improbable happens. The rest of the games arent worth my royal time reporting on.

As for Bundesliga 2, they don’t have to worry about the Champions League so it has been business as usual. Ingoldstadt and Kaiserslautern are firming up their automatic promotion chances, but they are playing each other this weekend in a 1^st vs 2^nd battle for the ages. Not since the germanic tribes took on caesar has the Audi Sportpark seen a bigger contest. If Ingolstadt win, they will just extend their lead at the top, but with Karlsruher SC (3^rd) like to be defeat TSV 1860 Munich (16), the german red devils will lose their second spot. So you could say that one game will determine the whole season. Or not

[soccer-info id=’3′ type=’fixtures’ style=’blue_light’ title=’UPCOMING FIXTURES BUNDESLIGA’ limit=’9′ /]

[soccer-info id=’24’ type=’fixtures’ style=’blue_light’ title=’UPCOMING FIXTURES BUNDESLIGA 2′ limit=’9′ /]

So it’s all come to this, our best selections and tips for you to turn into many dollar, pound, euro or rupee. Please accept our best bets.

Bundesliga

$1 pays $45.79

Hoffenheim draw against Eintracht Frankfurt

Hamburg defeat Freiburg

Hannover 96 defeat Werder Bremen

Shalke 04 defeat FC Koln

Bundesliga 2

$1 pays $53.94

FC Heidenheim defeats Erzgebirge Aue

Eintracht Braunshweig draws FC Union Berlin

Karlsruher defeats 1860 Munchen

Kaiserlautern defeats FC Ingolstadt

So you want more? Well we shall reward your perseverance thus far and dazzle you with some more important stats that matter. Or don’t. Whatever.

ALL STATS FROM WHOSCORED.COM

[table caption=”Bundesliga Form,” width=”350″ colwidth=”100|200|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]

Result,Team,Games

Unbeaten,Bayern Munich,14

Wins,Bayern Munich,5

Without Win,Mainz,6

Loss,Hannover/Cologne,3

Most Draws,Mainz,7 (14)

Best Home Record,Bayern Munich,24pts (8)

Worst Home Record,Stuttgart,4pts (7)

Best Away Record,Bayern Munich,12pts (6)

Worst Away Record,Hamburg/Dortmund/H Berlin,4pts (7)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Wolfsburg,15

Least Goals Scored last 6,Dortmund/Mainz,5

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Stuttgart,16

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Bayern Munich,1

[/table]

[table caption=”Bundesliga 2 Form,” width=”350″ colwidth=”100|200|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]

Result,Team,Games

Unbeaten,Kaiserslautern,14

Wins,Ingolstadt/K’lautern/Un Berlin/Aalen,2

Without Win,St Pauli,7

Loss,Erzgebirge Aue,4

Most Draws,Darmstadt/Bochum,8 (16)

Best Home Record,Kaiserslautern,21pts (9)

Worst Home Record,FSV Frankfurt,3pts (7)

Best Away Record,Fortuna Dusseldorf/Ingolstadt,15pts (8)

Worst Away Record,Erzgebirge Aue,3pts (9)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Braunschweig/Karlsruhe/FSV F’furt/Un Berlin,10

Least Goals Scored last 6,Erzgebirge Aue,4

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,St Pauli,19

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Karlsruhe/Darmstadt,1

[/table]

These stats and so many more courtesy of a much better website – www.whoscored.com

Gurgler Six Pack – New Pizza Crusts

By

Kaaps Loche

-

December 10, 2014

0

Welcome to the latest addition to The Gurgler’s line up of stories and opinion – The Gurgler Six Pack.

Each week, or whenever we can be bothered, we’ll take a topic or event out of the esky that we wish to open the lid on and serve up six of our finest servings on the matter.

They won’t be Crown Lager or Crown Larger quality, nor will they be OP Rum above the top shelf quality either. They will be as you expect from The Gurgler – barely amusing, reasonably lame, yet surprisingly obscure or forgotten and hardly relevant to the main topic.

It is a punter’s race after all, and we try and give the punters what they want.

Here’s this week’s Six Pack:

NEW PIZZA CRUSTS

If you haven’t seen or heard about it yet, Pizza Hut have released a pizza with corn chips stuffed into the crust. Check it out here. We know what you’re thinking, and you really shouldn’t be doing that, not even in your mind, and also this is not a paid advertisement for Pizza Hut. We don’t believe in advertising, unless someone is paying us money to care.

We just think that there might be 6 better things that could be stuffed into the crust of the pizza.

1- ALCOHOL
Pizza and alcohol usually go hand in hand, like Rum and Coke or Ernie and Denise. So why not stuff the crust with an edible bladder filled with red lambrusco or West Coast wine cooler for a refreshing blast of pick me up to go with the pizza. Also saves a trip to both the bottleshop, which ever the direction of that is, and pizza outlet.

2 – COCAINE OR METH
Make it a big night with a little narcotic stuffed into your crust. It mixes well with melted cheese and is a favourite of the young executive scene.

3 – MEAT PIE
Why not add a little Australian touch and really turn it into a pizza pie. Tongue burning meat pie mince combined with tongue burning cheese topped off with pie pastry and a dash of tomato sauce makes this the ultimate Aussie Pizza Pie.

4 – HALF CHILLI RUSSIAN ROULETTE
Turn your pizza into a game by inserting random Habanero chillies into the crust, keaving luck of the draw to determine which player gets the mouthful of pure heat.

5 – PLAYING CARDS
Pizzas usually mean a good night in with a few beers. Alongside those two is usually some form of gambling, and what better way to see off the time with a few games of Pontoon. All 52 cards are stuffed into the crust to ensure a proper game can be played.

6 – MARSHMALLOWS
Combine dinner with dessert in the one piece of food with the new twist on roasting marshmallows on the fire. It’s a taste sensation. Either that or couldn’t think of a decent sixth one.

Final Man of the Year Nomination – Richie Benaud

By

Harlan Bulwer

-

December 9, 2014

0

Since this is the inaugural Man of the Year for thegurgler.com, the final nomination for 2014 could also be a nomination for ALL time. This Australian legend has been a part of 3 generations of avid sports fans. As both a player, and a commentator he is a household name in every cricket playing nation. Most recently he has announced his battle with cancer, but is still making himself available for the upcoming Test Series versus India. Of course there is no other person I could be talking about, than Richie Benaud.

We missed Richie’s commentary during the Ashes series at the start of the year, but he had crashed his beloved Sunbeam Alpine just prior to the commencement of the series which resulted in a cracked sternum. His dulcet tones were sorely missed. In which I mean we had to listen to Slats more. Fucking Slats.

He recovered well during 2014, as best as an 83 yo can. Then adding insult to injury he announced in November that he was battling skin cancer. Years of being out in the middle with no hat or sunscreen has taken its toll. In typical Benaud fashion, the guile and steel in which he faces these challenges, you know we will see him on the other side. He already has interrupted his recovery regime by lending his voice and support in the recent memorial for Phillip Hughes. Following that he said he will be fit for Ch 9 duty for the Sydney test.

There was even talk about setting up a home studio at his villa in Coogee to commentate live with the commentary box at the ground. Richie thought this was a bridge too far, saying that he would rather be at the top of his game for the Sydney test, than not be at 100% for the whole series. Classic Benaud.

We award this nomination to Richie because he is the renaissance man of cricket. In 2014 and every other year…

Champions League Tips n Stuff

By

Theydon Bois

-

December 9, 2014

0

So it’s come to this, the final round of Group Stage matches. Whilst a lot of the positions have been settled there’s still a few big games left to either decide the group winner or survival in the competition.

For the third placed finishers, Thursday night Europa is awaiting to ruin your season, and the dead last teams get the participants medal, do not collect 200 Million, and go straight back to their national leagues.

Our prediction is that only two English clubs will be left come the second round.

Here’s the TV Games for FTA in Australia for those keen on an earlybird special. All on SBS.

WED AM – Liverpool v Basel – 5:30am / 6:30am depending on state.
Replay at 10:07pm
THU AM – Roma v Man City – 5:30am / 6:30am depending on state.
Highlights Show at 11:00pm

TUESDAY PM / WED AM MULTI – $1 for $50
DORTMUND to beat Anderlecht
ARSENAL to beat Galatasaray
OVER 2.5 goals – Real Madrid v Ludogrets
UNDER 2.5 goals – Liverpool v Basel
UNDER 2.5 goals – Olympiakos v Malmo
DRAW – Juventus v Atletico Madrid

WEDNESDAY PM / THU AM MULTI – $1 for $182
BAYERN to beat CSKA Moscow
CHELSEA to beat Sporting
MARIBOR to beat Schalke
SHAKTAR DON. to beat Porto
ROMA to beat Man City
AJAX to beat Apoel
[soccer-info id=’603′ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ /]

[soccer-info id=’604′ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ /]

[soccer-info id=’605′ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ /]

[soccer-info id=’606′ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ /]

[soccer-info id=’607′ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ /]

[soccer-info id=’608′ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ /]

[soccer-info id=’609′ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ /]

[soccer-info id=’610′ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ /]

[soccer-info id=’603′ type=’fixtures’ style=’blue_light’ limit=’2′ /]

[soccer-info id=’604′ type=’fixtures’ style=’blue_light’ limit=’2′ /]

[soccer-info id=’605′ type=’fixtures’ style=’blue_light’ limit=’2′ /]

[soccer-info id=’606′ type=’fixtures’ style=’blue_light’ limit=’2′ /]

[soccer-info id=’607′ type=’fixtures’ style=’blue_light’ limit=’2′ /]

[soccer-info id=’608′ type=’fixtures’ style=’blue_light’ limit=’2′ /]

[soccer-info id=’609′ type=’fixtures’ style=’blue_light’ limit=’2′ /]

[soccer-info id=’610′ type=’fixtures’ style=’blue_light’ limit=’2′ /]

Man of the Year – 5th Nomination is here

By

Kaaps Loche

-

December 7, 2014

0

You remember Alby Mangels don’t you? His swashbuckling global adventures on his World Safari videos back in the day? You do, of course you do. Who wouldn’t, and if you don’t – find out. Now. This will be waiting for you when you come back.

Like most good things from the 80’s (It’s a Knockout, Moustaches, Peter Russell Clarke) people reflect happily back to them with a smile, with a hope of it’s return, and hopefully not in the awful, awful form of the recent Knockout revamp. Others just sigh and wish they were born a little earlier.

Well at least one thing from the 80’s has survived the reincarnation, and this person’s achievements have landed a prestigious nomination for The Gurgler’s Man of the Year.

Alby Mangels Jnr aka Troy Walton was an accountant in a previous life, living the life working overseas, but all the time images of Alby Mangel’s World Safari videos borrowed from Rainbow Video were burning in his mind, until finally he embarked on his own World Safari.

So as the final leg of sailing ended in South Africa earlier this year which started in European waters some time ago, the achievement of sailing around the world was met. Landing in more countries than Tiger Woods conquests, the passport now resembles a frontline AFL players arms.

And once the worldwide feat was achieved what else could he do but dedicate it to his inspiration Alby Mangels.

Not only is the travelling feat impressive, but the strict adherence to the laws of Mangel-travel was monk like, even down to the carefully crafter locks, facial hair and lack of shirt. Except for the dog – but it’s now a different world.

Rumours that abound of him actually being a long lost love child of the original Alby are pure conjecture despite Alby snr’s prolific ability with the woman, and his contract ensuring 1 woman per leg per safari. Although there was that time in the late 70’s where paths and alliances may have crossed, and the allergy of shirt wearing is hereditary, so the gossip mongers continue talking it up.

Feel free to visit his Facebook or more actual detail, not forgetting that The Gurgler doesn’t reside in detail just drivel.

https://www.facebook.com/troy.walton.315

So, sailed around the world, what next? Leading Safari groups in Africa. What else could Alby Mangels Jnr do. Of course he does.

So, we wish to congratulate Alby Mangels Jnr aka Troy Walton on his nomination to the Man of the Year awards.

Just one to go and voting will be open.

DON’T BELIEVE US – SEE FOR YOURSELF

THE EVIDENCE IS CLEAR – ALBY MANGELS JNR

AND MAN OF THE YEAR NOMINATION

Gurgler Breaking News – Red Bull Break In – 60 Trophies Stolen

By

Max Layne

-

December 7, 2014

0

Breaking news over the weekend with the news that Red Bull factory in Milton Keynes has been broken into, and the intruders have stolen 60 of their finest trophies.

Quite what a criminal would need with any of these, let alone 60, does beg the question of the mental state and ability of the criminal/s in question. Sources suggest that this may be a frustrated racer or sportsman have been denied officially by the local Police.

We have however have a list of three suspects that we believe Police are looking into their recent movements.

JEAN-ERIC VERGNE

Having recently been released by the Red Bull junior team Toro Rosso for 2015, JEV has increased the considerable chip on his shoulder seen throughout most of his F1 career thus far.

A lack of trophies during his F1 spell, leads police to believe he has a makeshift podium in his apartment with a wallpapered crowd for effect. This combined with bitterness towards Red Bull make him the number one suspect.

RON DENNIS

Having overseen another awful year with minimal achievement despite having the same engine as the two quickest cars on the grid, Ron, as the boss of McLaren has been struggling for results and silverware in 2014. Another 60 would look good at McLaren HQ.

Also, the continuing drama of whether or not they are going to announce Button getting the arse is starting to weigh down the team. Police believe the break in may be related to the continually extended deadlines to choose the partner to Alonso next year, as to provide a nice distraction for the British F1 media. No doubt if true, the trophies will be on the Red Bull front doorstep the day after Button retires after losing his sport to Magnussen.

MILTON KEYNES ITSELF
Having previous in the field of stolen sporting identities in the brash case of Milton Keynes Dons v Wimbledon Football, police have refused to rule out the possibility of lightning striking twice and that the city itself is behind the crime so it can take over Red Bull Racing and rename it MK Racing Dons.