UK Football – Gurgler’s Own Goal – Token Sunday Edition

By

-

December 27, 2014

Welcome to the Gurgler’s UK Football Weekly. Well not quite weekly as we only posted something a few days ago for Boxing Day, but who are we and you to complain about too much football. Another full batch of fixtures just before the FA Cup third round next weekend.

– Wins for all the big boys on Boxing Day leaves the ladder the same as before Christmas except for Southampton replacing West Ham as the official surprise packet, and some shuffling on the lower decks of the relegation ship.

– The three lower divisions are even closer than the almighty EPL. The Championship has a top four within 3 points of each other, not to be outdone ,the fourth tier League Two has its top four with 2 points. But the closest battle is in League One where there is only a point separating the top four. One could argue that the Football League’s enforced Financial Fair play could be a cause of such closeness. It even allows for a team like Ipswich Town to be second in the Championship with a squad assembled for just 10,000 pounds in transfers fees.

– Still no EPL manager casualties, but Crystal Palace’s Neil Warnock is the new favourite for first chop. A loss at Loftus Road will seal the deal. Here’s some semi-interesting manager facts from Boxing Day’s bit that we’re keeping to cover for a lack of effort in discussing more points.

[table caption=”Manager Changes 2014-15,” width=”350″ colwidth=”125|125|100″ colalign=”left|left|left”]

Division,Changes ,Average Stay (League-wide)

Premier League,0 Changes,2 Years & 7 months

Championship,14 Changes, 10 months

League One,5 Changes,1 Year & 10 months

League Two,8 Changes,1 Year & 6 months

[/table]
[table caption=”Longest Serving Managers” width=”350″ colwidth=”125|125|100″ colalign=”left|left|left”]

Division,Manager (Team),Stay (Current Pos)

Premier League,Arsne Wenger (Arsenal),18.2 years (6^th)

Premier League,Alan Pardew (Newcastle),4 years (9^th)

Premier League,Sam Allardyce (West Ham),3.5 years (4^th)

Championship,Steve Evans (Rotherham), 2.7 years (19^th)

Championship,Eddie Howe (Bournemouth), 2.2 years (1^st)

Championship,Mick McCarthy (Ipswich), 2.1 years (2^nd)

League One,Karl Robinson (Milton Keynes),4.62 years (2^nd)

League One,Dean Smith (Walsall),4 years (13^th)

League One,Darren Ferguson (Peterborough),4 years (9^th)

League Two,Paul Tisdale (Exeter),8.5 years (8^th)

League Two,Jim Bentley (Morecambe),3.6 years (10^th)

League Two,Justin Edinburgh (Newport),3.2 years (7th)

[/table]

[soccer-info id=’2′ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’EPL TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’20’ type=’table’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’Championship Table’ /]

[soccer-info id=’21’ type=’table’ style=’red_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’L1 TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’22’ type=’table’ style=’red_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’L2 TABLE’ /]

EPL Sunday – Spurs v Manchester United – Some of Man Utd’s players last chance before the next spending spree.
EPL Sunday – QPR v Crystal Palace – the poor man’s London derby
EPL Sunday – Hull v Leicester – 6 pointer relegation battle anyone?
CHAMP Sunday – Blackburn v Middlesboro – An EPL fixture of yore playing for a return.
L2 Sunday – Shrewsbury v Wycombe – Top three battle leg 2
L2 Sunday – Carlisle v York – League Two should have a 6 pointer too.

Here’s the rest of the upcoming fixtures.

[soccer-info id=’2′ type=’fixtures’ style=’blue_light’ title=’EPL UPCOMING FIXTURES’ limit=’20’ /]

[soccer-info id=’20’ type=’fixtures’ title=’Championship Fixtures’ limit=’24’ /]

[soccer-info id=’21’ type=’fixtures’ style=’red_light’ title=’L1 Fixtures’ limit=’24’ /]

[soccer-info id=’22’ type=’fixtures’ style=’red_light’ title=’L2 Fixtures’ limit=’24’ /]

So it’s all come to this, our best selections and tips for you to turn into many dollar, pound, euro or rupee. Please accept our best bets.

[table caption=”EPL Best Bets Multi A – $27,” width=”300″ colwidth=”150|150″ colalign=”left|left”]

Selection,Game Details

MANCHESTER UTD to win,v Spurs

CHELSEA to win,v Southampton

STOKE to win,v WBA

UNDER 2.5 goals,Aston Villa v Sunderland

MANCHESTER CITY to win,v Burnley

OVER 2.5 goals,QPR v C Palace

[/table]

[table caption=”EPL Best Bets Multi B – $163,” width=”300″ colwidth=”150|150″ colalign=”left|left”]

Selection,Game Details

SWANSEA to win,v Liverpool

DRAW,Newcastle v Everton

DRAW,West Ham v Arsenal

DRAW,Hull v Leicester

[/table]

[table caption=”Championship Best Bets Multi – $70,” width=”300″ colwidth=”150|150″ colalign=”left|left”]

Selection,Game Details

WOLVES to win,v Brentford

NORWICH to win,v Reading

UNDER 2.5 goals,Huddersfield v Bolton

DRAW,Blackburn v Middsboro

DERBY to win,v Leeds

IPSWICH to win,v Charlton

[/table]

[table caption=”L1 Best Bets Multi – $33,” width=”300″ colwidth=”150|150″ colalign=”left|left”]

Selection,Game Details

ROCHDALE to win,v Fleetwood

UNDER 2.5 goals,Sheff Utd v Scunthorpe

SWINDON to win,v Port Vale

MILTON KEYNES to win,v Walsall

PRESTON to win,v Crewe

BRISTOL CITY to win,v Gillingham

LEYTON ORIENT to win,v Yeovil

[/table]

[table caption=”L2 Best Bets Multi – $52,” width=”300″ colwidth=”150|150″ colalign=”left|left”]

Selection,Game Details

PORTSMOUTH to win,v AFC Wimbledon

LUTON to win,v Portsmouth

BURTON to win,v Accrington

PLYMOUTH to win,v Oxford

SHREWSBURY to win,v Wycombe

SOUTHEND to win,v Dagenham & Redbridge

UNDER 2.5 goals,Carlsile v York

[/table]

Gurgler’s Week O Sport – Circling the Drain

By

Max Layne

-

December 23, 2014

0

Welcome to our weekly review/preview of sport in general. The football nerds get their turn later in the week, but now it’s time to cover the rest of the sporting landscape. A bit harder in summer with just Cricket and A League for company, but if anyone can turn nothing into even less it’s us.

That and the best sporting multi money can buy.

BIG BASH RETURNS

A few games into the annual colourful slogfest and what a welcome addition to some dull weekday nights. Also welcome is some of the performances on the field.

There’s been quality batting, like opening combinations of Ludeman and Simmons for Adelaide in their first match, or the old guard of Kallis and Mike Hussey for Sydney Thunder. Or lusty cameos like Goerge Bailey’s 71 from 44, leaving Australian selectors in the dangerous position of having to pick Bailey for form for the upcoming World Cup.

The Channel 10 commentary and coverage has been quite good, and certainly better than Channel 9, although given our love for Michael Slater it was always going to be.

A couple of whinges though heard around the water cooler, photocopier and toilet, the first being that games haven’t been live into Qld. Whilst it would be nice to get live sport all the time, it is not the TV station’s fault, but the people of Qld who failed to embrace Daylight savings, and given the results of recent polls and comments made on news websites, it is unlikely to ever be implemented. So don’t blame TV, blame yourself.

Secondly, there’s only been one close game in the first week which has been disappointing. Although the favourites have been getting a workout with all underdogs winning, it would be nice if the games weren’t over halfway through the second innings.

Thankfully the Melbourne Stars, the Manchester United of T20 have lost both of their opening games, with Glenn Maxwell completing his overrated skills circle from NATP test number 3 to bench warmer for Melbourne.

More to come, and inevitably you’ll lose interest, so enjoy it now before it comes tedious if not already.

AUSTRALIA 2 – MITCHELL JOHNSON 1 – INDIA 0

India were full of confidence, and why not. After bashing Australia into a heat stress submission on Day 1 with injuries and accusations of softness leading to the most negative of outlooks for the Aussies, prospects looked good.

But just as in Adelaide, there was a twist or two ahead, and some of them revolved around Mitchell Johnson. After taking a back seat to Josh Hazlewood’s heroics in the first bowling stint, Mitchell Johnson came to the crease after another Haddin failure with Australia in trouble. India also handily reminded him of how many wickets he had taken on the same pitch he was about to face. Some many hours later, and after all tailenders had their piece of pie, and likely large 1st innings deficit was turned into a healthy lead. Mitchell Johnson’s 80, and yet another century to the newly promoted captain Steve Smith turned the game our way.

Armed with a score over 50, from which his bowling average the next inning after scoring 50 was just 16, a brief spell on the opening of the 4th day effectively swung the game completely in Australia’s favour. Help from his mates left a small run chase.

Although Australia tried their hardest to lose with some plays from the book of Maxwell, they got home and took a lead that required only one more win for the series and two for a clean sweep.

A congrats to Qld’s Joe Burns who the Gurgler has been keen to see in Green for some time now, after many sessions at Allan Border field. And to Steve Smith the obvious choice for captan, as he is one three who can be guaranteed to be in the side in 12 months time based on form or fitness, and passes the dickhead test.

ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY

The most underrated sporting event in the world is on and continues over the very festive period.

The Darts World Championship is on and is the Ultimate sporting contest with many boxes ticked for the Gurgler.

Featuring dressing up, long Oktoberfest tables full of rowdy darts fans and beer, and those advertising placards that fans can write their messages on giving a taste of the pre-twitter world, it is an event we hope to cover at one stage of our lives.

For now, we’ll have to look on with envy on Foxtel and dream of a time where we can be part of that Where’s Wally drunken crew, and learn those traditional British dancing moves that begin and stop with the pumping of arms up and down to forgotten 90’s tunes.

For the record our favourites and tips for the trophy are the Pre-Skiing Michael Schumacher of Darts – Phil the Power Taylor (short at $2.10), Raymond (Barney) von Barneveld (at a generous $26) and Mervyn King at the unlikely $51.

OTHER STUFF

Some of the Red Bull trophies were found in the bottom of the lake somewhere in England. Apparently the only ones retrieved were the Constructor trophies and the Japanese driver wins. The suspect is still at large. Police also located other sporting things in the same lake as part of the search.

Alastair Cook’s World Cup Campaign and Kevin Pietersen’s England Career along with Ian Thorpe’s comeback and Glenn Maxwell’s test career were also found at the bottom of the lake.

Here’s a taste of what’s coming up….

– BOXING DAY TEST – the best cricket + sloth day of the year is Boxing Day. Make it even better with our famous Boxing Day Drinking Game.

– SYDNEY TO HOBART – it’s time to care about yachting for the smallest possible time with the start of the Sydney to Hobart. Read our Guide to the Big Event.

– MORE BIG BASH – a perfect nigh time accompaniment to the test during the day.

– FOOTBALL FEAST – whilst the snooty European Leagues take a winter/Xmas break, the English and the Aussies give the punter’s what they want, plenty o sport.

To round off the weekly does of sporting gripe, here’s our famous multi. See if we can better our $580-1 one from earlier in the year.

SYD to HOB – Wild Oats XI – first through the head
A LEAGUE – BRISBANE ROAR to win v Central Coast
A LEAGUE – MELBOURNE VICTORY to win v Newcastle
BIG BASH – PERTH SCORCHERS to win v Melb Renegades
BIG BASH – MELBOURNE STARS to win v Brisbane Heat
TEST MATCH – AUSTRALIA to win v India
TEST MATCH – SOUTH AFRICA to win v West Indies
TEST MATCH – SRI LANKA to win v New Zealand

$1 multi pays $210

Gurgler Six Pack – Very Last Minute Christmas Ideas

By

Kaaps Loche

-

December 22, 2014

0

Tis the night before Christmas and you’ve realised you need very last minute Christmas ideas for Aunt Maude, Uncle Fred and your twin brother whose birthday you’ve already forgotten earlier in the year.

Problem is, the major shops are all shut and you’ve got only late-night retailers, licensed venues, and other limited options available.

At first your thought may be “F*** it, F*** them and F*** everybody who has a problem with Mike Lowry”. Whilst this is the easiest option it may leave you with a reputation of dolphin like tightness or Grinch-like personality like Oscar the Grouch, or a federal politician.

So once you’ve decided you’re better than Bill Heffernan or Warren Entsch, you need a plan and a few options on what to get past 8pm on Xmas eve.

At The Gurgler, we’re nothing if not helpful. And since we’re really not helpful either, it’s time to get into the Christmas spirit and help those lost souls looking for gifts.

1 – You can always use the “I ordered you something online – but it got delayed in customs”. This is a good tactic as it provides the most plausible reason for a delay other than you ordered it too late or not at all. It also means the gift may be more exotic if from overseas and with Customs, and so forgiveness may be more forthcoming if the potential gift is of a higher quality.

The customs excuse also gives you a few days after Christmas to actually go out and buy the gift yourself, although shopping in a centre at least one removed from your potential recipients is wise to save Curb Your Enthusiasm type music playing in your head when the inevitable post Xmas meeting happens.

This option is desirable as you can still watch Boxing Day test without interference. It is also the cheapest option if you don’t follow this up with actual purchase of gift.

2 – If you actually want to buy the person something, you could try the following.

Nothing says laziness like buying a gift card online. However, no one can tell you bought it online, so present gift with the lie “I went to Shop X but couldn’t decide what you wanted/what size you were/if I knew anything about you ”. They won’t care, because it’s still better than getting a gift that sucks or nothing at all.

3 – Nothing says Christmas cheers like Keno. And you know that the local pub has Keno and will open later than most establishments that don’t sell petrol.

So while you’re there sinking your 5^th pint before driving home slowly without your lights on because that’s far safer than drink driving quickly as less easy to spot for the police, why not place a Keno 6 spot ticket that will last from Xmas eve until 2015. For the minimum of 10 cents a throw you can put on 400 games which will take your present up New Year’s Day if purchased around the 11pm mark.

If you can drag yourself out of the pub before 9ish, then there’s always the standard bottle of wine for the family member you know nothing about. But instead of taking the attendants poor advice of a bottle of white wine they’ve counted for the past 16 stocktakes, we heartily recommend going a little different this year, and saying it Stone’s Green Ginger wine. Part Wine, Part Ginger, Part spirit, fully terrible, it will make your recipient’s Christmas very merry indeed.

4 – If you’ve crossed over into actual Christmas day and are driving home at 2am and thinking of what to buy, don’t forget your one-stop is the local Servo. With gifts ranging from the standard Cadbury’s favourites, a recent author’s release, “adult literature”, bags of Ice, or a Traveller’s Pie, it truly has all your options covered.

To make it look less last minute we recommend buying little bits of everything and finding some display box or basket from birthday/Xmas of yore and making a little hamper of the quality of the local RSL’s Tuesday lunchtime morning melodies door prize.
The issue with this option is it is the most expensive with Prrupt (Petrol Retailer Round Up Tax) charged at every opportunity, so you are paying for the convenience.

5 – Sometimes you don’t even have to leave home for last minute Christmas ideas.

Regifting is always an option, but one that should be met with caution. We recommend the workplace Secret Santa gift for your family members as the budget is usually low, and the gift always awful or useless. Perfect for that long lost relative who keeps calling you Billy when your name is Sheila.

Note for extra savings in future don’t unwrap the present, this will save you time and expense of having to re-wrap it before the official re-gift.

This is the most extreme option of last minute Xmas gifting, as unopened gifts may well be the office pranksters play of the year that you will forward to an unexpected person. On the flip side, it is the gift that keeps giving, as you will also be on the edge of your milk crate wondering how offensive or terrible the gift could be. Cheap entertainment, and cheap is what we’re selling here.

6 – One for the Green thumbs is taking one of your best looking plants, and one of your less wrecked pots and painting it to resemble a mural by local students at the local train station and give this as the Green option for last minute Christmas ideas.

Better still, if you are not very good in the garden, your neighbourhood provides many fine examples of said Plant and Pot, and depending on the suburb, the range is only limited by your imagination, and dedication to exercise.

Of course there’s always Love, and whilst it is free, it is not accepted at that many stores and Xmas gifts these days, and is best avoided at all times during this festive period.

Gurgler’s Guide to…Sydney to Hobart Race

By

Max Layne

-

December 22, 2014

0

The Sydney to Hobart yacht race kicks off on Boxing Day, and as part of an Australian tradition, you’ll be forced to care for the mandatory 30 minutes of the year.

Like the deadshits who turn up to an RSL on Anzac Day with zero links to any national service just to be a drunken idiot, or like New Year’s Eve anywhere, there are certain events that people feel obliged to care about, even if they do not necessarily care. Or want to.

We know bugger all about a bunch of rich people putting their toys to use for a change, and presume that most of you reading this will be on the same level.

And who really cares about multi millionaires flashing their cash and celebrities grabbing their what about me moment on the trip from Sydney to Hobart.

But like the Melbourne Cup, you’ll get the once a year experts who’ll try and tell you everything about the Sydney to Hobart. We advise you to fact check them via the great wikipedia.

But in case you need to fit in at that special Boxing Day function, why not use a few of these at your BBQ or esky fuelled piss up.

Sydney to Hobart Terms you’ll need to know.

Study at your own leisure and care factor. Why not drop one in a random times during the day. In between a glass of Pinot Grigio or Pale Ale infused with Kaffir Lime leaves, a tone of Nutmeg and Pine Nuts.

Spinnaker

Mast

Rob Mundle

Chris Conroy

Constitution Dock

Peter Newlinds

Cut of the jib.

Sydney to Hobart – A Pictorial Preview

[os-widget path=”/thegurgler/sydney-to-hobart-preview-in-pictures” of=”thegurgler” comments=”false”]

European Football Weekly – Tips and Stuff – Gurgler’s Eurotrash

By

Theydon Bois

-

December 19, 2014

0

Welcome to the new Euro Football Weekly – Eurotrash.

Here we delve into the reaches of the many European Football Leagues on offer, all with claims to be as good if not better than the EPL.

Each week we’ll go through the Spanish, Italian, and French Leagues in detail, with some updates and tidbits on other leagues.

For your German news and views, help yourself to our separate Bundesliga column here and look out for it each week.

So enjoy our thoughts, stats and best bets which are the best that money can’t buy.

– Talk in Europe is of Champions League draws and to a lesser extent – Europa League draws. The best games in our opinion and hence the ones we’re looking forward to are below. Arsenal for a change weren’t punished for finishing second with a date with Bayern Munich. Man City were with Barcelona. Although it does provide the right stage to show their spend to success ratio in the Champions league isn’t as awful as everyone thinks it is.
CHAMPIONS LEAGUE. – PSG v Chelsea – Man City v Barcelona – Bor Dortmund v Juventus

EUROPA LEAGUE

– Celtic v Inter

– Liverpool v Besiktas

– Villareal v Salzburg

– PSV v Zenit

– Other banter revolves around whether Real Madrid can extend their unbeaten and winning run. Although participation in the Club world Cup will allow other to catch up slightly over the weekend.

– Cristiano Ronaldo won the BBC overseas sportsperson of the year, a far more popular win than the British winner Lewis Hamilton. Both winners are similar though and certainly don’t lack for ego.

– Balotelli fresh from injury and suspension looks set to be heading back to Europe after failing to make a positive impression at Liverpool. Not the worst transfer and less expensive at 16M than others at Liverpool.

– Former Balotelli combatant Mancini won his first game at Inter since taking over. Maybe a reunion in Milan?

– The top two in France both lost giving Lyon, St Etienne, and others a sniff of a title race after all.

[soccer-info id=’1′ type=’table’ style=’red_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’LA LIGA TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’5′ type=’table’ style=’green_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’SERIE A TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’6′ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’LIGUE 1 TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’7′ type=’table’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=DUTCH LEAGUE TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’4′ type=’table’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’Portuguese Table’ /]

[soccer-info id=’8′ type=’table’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’Belgian League Table’ /]

[soccer-info id=’31’ type=’table’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’The Celtic Premier League’ /]

[soccer-info id=’265′ type=’table’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ /]

Here’s the best of the upcoming action….

Atletico Madrid v Athletic Bilbao – two athletic clubs go head to head

Levante v Real Sociedad – A loss could drop Moyes into bottom three.

Roma v AC Milan

Inter v Lazio

Bordeaux v Lyon

Here’s the rest of the upcoming fixtures from Spain, Italy and France.

[soccer-info id=’1′ type=’fixtures’ style=’red_light’ title=’LA LIGA UPCOMING FIXTURES’ limit=’10’ /]

[soccer-info id=’5′ type=’fixtures’ style=’green_light’ title=’SERIE A FIXTURES’ limit=’10’ /]

[soccer-info id=’6′ type=’fixtures’ style=’red_light’ title=’LIGUE 1 FIXTURES’ limit=’10’ /]

So it’s all come to this, our best selections and tips for you to turn into many dollar, pound, euro or rupee. Please accept our best bets.

Once again our multi includes already completed game, but couldn’t be arsed redoing it, plus they’re now live bets.

[table caption=”EURO SUPER MULTI – $1 pays $48″ width=”500″ colwidth=”300|200″ colalign=”left|left”]
Bet, Game

JUVENTUS to win,v Cagliari

SASSUOLO or DRAW,v Cesena

NAPOLI to win,v Parma

Genoa to win,v Torino

BARCELONA to win,v Cordoba

Rayo Vallecano to win,v Espanyol

VILLAREAL to win,v Deportvo

PSG to win,v Montpellier

MARSEILLE to win,v Lille

[/table]

[table caption=”La Liga Form,” width=”350″ colwidth=”125|125|100″ colalign=”left|left|left”]

Result,Team,Games

Unbeaten,Real Madrid,12

Wins,Real Madrid,12

Without Win,Granada,11

Loss,Celta Vigo,4

Most Draws,Cordoba,8 (15)

Best Home Record,Atl Mad/Valencia,19pts (8)

Worst Home Record,Almeria,3pts (8)

Best Away Record,Real Madrid,21pts (8)

Worst Away Record,Espanyol,2pts (7)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Real Madrid,22

Least Goals Scored last 6,Celta Vigo,1

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Almeria,14

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Real Madrid,3

Best form last 6,Real Madrid,18pts

Best form last 6,Barcelona,13pts

Best form last 6,Villareal,13pts

[/table]

[table caption=”Serie A Form,” width=”350″ colwidth=”125|125|100″ colalign=”left|left|left”]

Result,Team,Games

Unbeaten,Palermo,7

Wins,Lazio,2

Without Win,Cesena,14

Loss,Cesena,3

Most Draws, Sampdoria,8 (15)

Best Home Record,Roma,22pts (8)

Worst Home Record,Cagliari,3pts (7)

Best Away Record,Juventus,17pts (8)

Worst Away Record,Cesena,1pt (7)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Juventus,15

Least Goals Scored last 6,Torino,3

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Cagliari/Cesena,14

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Juventus,2

Best form last 6,Juventus,14pts

Best form last 6,Roma,13pts

Best form last 6,Palermo,12pts

Worst form last 6,Torino,3pts

Worst form last 6,Cagliari,3pts

Worst form last 6,Cesena,2pt

[/table]

[table caption=”Ligue 1 Form,” width=”350″ colwidth=”125|125|100″ colalign=”left|left|left”]

Result,Team,Games

Unbeaten,PSG,17

Wins,St Etienne,3

Without Win,Lille,8

Loss,Nantes/Bastia,3

Most Draws,PSG,7 (17)

Best Home Record,Lyon/Marseille,24pts (9)

Worst Home Record,Caen,4pts (8)

Best Away Record,PSG,17pts (9)

Worst Away Record,Metz,4pts (9)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Lyon/PSG/Marseille,11

Least Goals Scored last 6,Lille,3

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Caen,16

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,St Etienne,2

[/table]

UK Football Weekly – Tips & Stuff – The Gurgler’s Own Goal

By

Theydon Bois

-

December 19, 2014

0

Welcome to the Gurgler’s UK Football Weekly. We discuss things UK Football, and it doesn’t begin in Manchester and finish in London. We care about all four leagues and below if we have time. All your favourite stars are here too with the exception of Ariaga II. Enjoy the finest

– League Cup leaves heavyweights Chelsea, Liverpool and Spurs. Also included are perennial lower league over achievers – Sheffield Utd, who have knocked over yet another big time rival on their march to another semi-final cup berth. Sheffield Utd have only lost 2 cup games of the 18 Nigel Clough has been in charge of.

– EPL has now reached the second longest period without a manager sacked. Although the vultures are circling with their eyes on Liverpool, Leicester, WBA, and Hull carcasses. Although, since it’s taken this long, it may end up being a surprise sacking. Our money’s on WBA. They are a long way behing the Football League’s three divisions with 27 changes amongst their 72 teams.

– Reports that leading a solid midfield EPL team to top 4 with the requested change in style will not be enough to earn Sam Allardyce a new contact at West Ham next year is puzzling to say the least. Quite what they expect to improve seems difficult to pinpoint.

– The transfer window is just around the corner, with the big names still looking for talent. Man Utd who seem to be on a mission to break spending record and Man City who need to replace their injured list of front men.

– Top 5 in Championship as close as ever. Just 2 points separates the top 5, 4 of the 5 could be top of the league after this weekend. Whilst at the bottom Wolves stopped a 5 game losing streak. Sacking their manager hasn’t helped Wigan, who are now the worst performed team in the last 6 games.

– Reading have booted Nigel Adkins after 10 points from their last 11 games. Whilst still 16^th and 7 points from relegation, this time of year is when the Championship usually turns itself on its own head and the bottom clubs start winning. Best to be getting your dead manager bounce early and stay ahead of the drop. Ex WBA manager Steve Clarke has been slotted in quickly

– Colchester taken over the worst losing streak in our featured 9 divisions, whilst Swindon are making a battle over the lead with Bristol City after it looked over a month ago whilst Bristol were unbeaten.

– Yeovil won a midweek FA Cup replay to earn themselves a home game v Manchester united in the FA Cup. The other lower league potential David v Goliath upset of Wimbledon at home to Liverpool was confirmed last week

– Hartlepool have hired Ronnie Moore to lead their charge from being the foot of the football league, pardon the pun. His previous gig at Tranmere ended in tears and betting slips.

[soccer-info id=’2′ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’EPL TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’20’ type=’table’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’Championship Table’ /]

[soccer-info id=’21’ type=’table’ style=’red_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’L1 TABLE’ /]

[soccer-info id=’22’ type=’table’ style=’red_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,F,A,G,P’ title=’L2 TABLE’ /]

EPL – Liverpool v Arsenal – battle of the biggest disappointment this year.

EPL – Newcastle v Sunderland – feisty local derby in which a police horse was punched one year

CH – Ipswich v Middlesboro – A win could take either team to the top of the pile.

CH – Cardiff v Brentford –bounce back promotion vs back to back promotion.

L1 – Rochdale v Notts County – battle of the hopefuls

L1 – Peterboro v Preston – two former high flyers looking for upturn in form.

L2 – Luton v Newport

L2 – Southend v Burton

Here’s the rest of the upcoming fixtures.

[soccer-info id=’2′ type=’fixtures’ style=’blue_light’ title=’EPL UPCOMING FIXTURES’ limit=’10’ /]

[soccer-info id=’20’ type=’fixtures’ title=’Championship Fixtures’ limit=’12’ /]

[soccer-info id=’21’ type=’fixtures’ style=’red_light’ title=’L1 Fixtures’ limit=’12’ /]

[soccer-info id=’22’ type=’fixtures’ style=’red_light’ title=’L2 Fixtures’ limit=’12’ /]

So it’s all come to this, our best selections and tips for you to turn into many dollar, pound, euro or rupee. Please accept our best bets.

[table caption=”EPL Best Bets Multi – $67,” width=”300″ colwidth=”150|150″ colalign=”left|left”]

Selection,Game Details

MANCHESTER CITY to win,v Crystal Palace

QPR to win,v WBA

WEST HAM to win,v Leicester

MANCHESTER UNITED to win,v Aston Villa

DRAW or BURNLEY,v Spurs

DRAW,Newcastle v Sunderland

[/table]

[table caption=”Championship Best Bets Multi – $174,” width=”300″ colwidth=”150|150″ colalign=”left|left”]

Selection,Game Details

IPSWICH to win,v Middlesbrough

WOLVES to win,v Brighton

READING to win,v Watford

BIRMINGHAM to win,Huddersfield

SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY to win,v Fulham

[/table]

[table caption=”L1 Best Bets Multi – $27,” width=”300″ colwidth=”150|150″ colalign=”left|left”]

Selection,Game Details

SWINDON to win,v Doncaster

UNDER 2.5 goals,Sheffield Utd v Walsall

YEOVIL to win,v Colchester

MK DONS to win,v Oldham

LEYTON ORIENT to win,v Barnsley

[/table]

[table caption=”L2 Best Bets Multi – $52,” width=”300″ colwidth=”150|150″ colalign=”left|left”]

Selection,Game Details

PLYMOUTH to win,v Dag & Redbridge

SHREWSBURY to win,v Morecambe

WYCOMBE to win,v Accrington Stanley

HARTLEPOOL to win,v Oxford

EXETER to win,v Stevenage

[/table]

So you want more? Well we shall reward your perseverance thus far and dazzle you with some more important stats that matter. Or don’t. Whatever.

[table caption=”EPL Form,” width=”300″ colwidth=”125|125|50″ colalign=”left|left|center”]

Result,Team,Games

Unbeaten,Man City,6

Wins,Man Utd ,5

Without Win,Leicester,10

Loss,Leicester/Southampton,3

Most Draws,Sunderland,9 (15)

Best Home Record,Chelsea,21pts (7)

Worst Home Record,WBA,6pts (8)

Best Away Record,Man City,17pts (8)

Worst Away Record,QPR,0pts (7)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Man City,13

Least Goals Scored last 6,Hull/WBA,2

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Leicester,11

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Newcastle,3

[/table]

[table caption=”Championship Form,” width=”350″ colwidth=”125|125|100″ colalign=”left|left|left”]

Result,Team,Games/Points

Unbeaten,Bournemouth,11

Wins,B’Mouth/M’boro/Watford/Norwich,2

Without Win,Rotherham,9

Loss,Brighton/Wigan,3

Most Draws,Charlton,11 (21)

Best Home Record,Brentford,24pts (11)

Worst Home Record,Blackpool,8pts (10)

Best Away Record,Middlesboro,20pts (10)

Worst Away Record,Wigan/Blackpool,5pts (11)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Brentford,16

Least Goals Scored last 6,Rotherham,1

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Wolves,16

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Bolton,2

Best form last 6,Brentford,15pts

Best form last 6,Ipswich,14pts

Best form last 6,Birmingham,13pts

Worst form last 6,Huddserfield,4pts

Worst form last 6,Wolves,3pts

Worst form last 6,Wigan,1pt

[/table]

[table caption=”League 1 Form,” width=”350″ colwidth=”125|125|100″ colalign=”left|left|left”]

Result,Team,Games

Unbeaten,Milton Keynes,10

Wins,Swindon,5

Without Win,Crawley/Colchester/Crewe,6

Loss,Colchester,5

Most Draws,Oldham,9 (20)

Best Home Record,MKeynes/Bristol,23pts (10)

Worst Home Record,Leyton Orient,6pts (10)

Best Away Record,Swindon ,20pts (10)

Worst Away Record,Crewe,5pts (10)

Most Goals Scored last 6,MK Dons,13

Least Goals Scored last 6,Chesterfield,3

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Colchester,18

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Walsall,2

Best form last 6,Swindon,15pts

Best form last 6,Milton Keynes,14pts

Best form last 6,Walsall,14pts

Worst form last 6,Peterboro,4pts

Worst form last 6,Crewe,3pts

Worst form last 6,Colchester,1pt

[/table]

L2

[table caption=”League 2 Form,” width=”350″ colwidth=”125|125|100″ colalign=”left|left|left”]

Result,Team,Games

Unbeaten,Newport/Exeter,9

Wins,Wycombe/Newport ,3

Without Win,Hartlepool,8

Loss,Bury/Hartlepool,4

Most Draws,York,10 (20)

Best Home Record,Shrewsbury,28pts (10)

Worst Home Record,Hartlepool/York,6pts (10)

Best Away Record,Wycombe,23pts (10)

Worst Away Record,Carlisle,4pts (10)

Most Goals Scored last 6,Wycombe ,15

Least Goals Scored last 6,Mansfield/Chelt’ham,4

Most Goals Conceded Last 6,Chelt’ham/Hart’pool,15

Least Goals Conceded Last 6,Burton,4

Best form last 6,Wycombe,13pts

Best form last 6,Shrewsbury,13pts

Best form last 6,Southend,13pts

Worst form last 6,Bury,4pts

Worst form last 6,Cheltenham,2pts

Worst form last 6,Hartlepool,1pt

[/table]

Last Minute Xmas Idea – Gurgler Calendar 2015

By

admin

-

December 18, 2014

0

Looking for a last minute Xmas gift?

Let the Ye Older Gurgler Shoppe help you out with some ideas.

Why not relive the best of last year and yesteryear with the All New Gurgler Calendar 2015.

Each month brings a new surprise and a handy reminder to perform those mundine chores.

Only $12.95 – get yours today.

Look for more at Ye Older Gurgler Shoppe page.

JAN – DOBOY
Whilst Doboy was the exception to most all stops services up until the 1990’s, we’d like to think it was the only stop for The Gurgler.

FEB – JACQUI LAMBIE – A crap fantale for Politics in waiting.

MAR – PIERLUIGI MARTINI – underrated, obscure and forgotten, just the way we like it. Celebrate the start of the F1 season in Melbourne with our favourite ex F1 ace.

APRIL – PNG HUNTERS

Footy seasons now into full swings, and no one swings and moves like The Gurgler’s favourite sporting team – the PNG Hunters.

MAY – PEDRO CHAVES – even more obscure is Pedro Chaves. Whilst never qualified or even pre-qualified, he certainly did for our Calendar. Brought to you by Pedro Chaves Motors.

JUNE – ANTONY GREEN – with a Qld state election due no later than June 2014, he’ll the man the nation looks to for lyne-ball, bell-weather and swinging.

JULY – M.A.JIMINEZ – Time for British Open, time for the Mechanic.

AUGUST- PETER RUSSELL CLARKE – celebrate International Cheese Month with the master.

SEP – CHEP – the blue symbol of quality and alleyway abandonment the world over.

OCT – Get your tax in now, or deal with Robert Gottliebsen.

NOV- TECHNOTRONIC – The Beat was, is, and always will be Technotronic

DEC – BAD SANTA – Ho ho hum from the grumpiest, drinkiest Santa of them all.

[huge_it_gallery id=”5″]

The Gurgler Previews Big Bash T20

By

Kaaps Loche

-

December 18, 2014

0

The bastardised, shortened future of Australian Domestic Cricket is here again, and with the lack of sport on at a decent time and a free channel, it is a welcome addition to the drudgery of weeknights.

Not that we don’t like the format of T20 and the change up of city based franchises instead of state based teams, it’s far better than the predictable 50 over dross on offer. Except for games at North Sydney Oval where any score can be made and chased.

So as with most things here at The Gurgler let’s look at the pros and cons.

PROS

– It is only 20 overs a side which means less attention space, and less resistance from others in the household who dislike cricket. – It is not on Channel 9.

– Hence, it will not feature Michael Slater in any form.

– Brad Hogg

– You get to follow teams wearing colours like Teal, Electric Green and Magenta.

– The flashing stumps are a welcome addition.

CONS

– It is still domestic cricket, and all the hip hop dancing, flame throwers and Viv Richards can’t polish a turd if the game is all but over after 5 overs.

– The many, many, many KFC ads, including that truly awful HCG tripe.

– Mark Howard, who does his best attempt at being more annoying than Michael Slater.

– The back patting society of the commentators, which whilst not as bad as Channel 9, seems just as bad due to the lower level of achievement of their collective.

– Awful team nicknames.

There’s big international names coming to the comp this year, including Freddie Flintoff, Kevin Petersen and Dwayne but not Darren Bravo. All of them will hopefully provide as much action as their reputation and ego demands. But The Gurgler aren’t concerned with the big name stars, as ever we’ll highlight our man to watch for each team in our gallery below.
At the end of the day, it is still sport, and sport is there to be enjoyed with a beer, and side bet, with many of the internet based companies providing more options than you can throw a game at. So, along the lines of A League coverage on SBS, set your expectations lowish, and enjoy.

For the record, it looks like a Brisbane victory, with a Perth or Sixers final. Melbourne Stars, overburdened with stars, will choke like every year. Don’t forget, that the winner of the comp has come from third or fourth in the regular season in the first 3 editions, opening up a Stars choke nicely.

[huge_it_gallery id=”4″]

The new Gurgler Shop is open

By

admin

-

December 17, 2014

0

Want more from your favourite website?

If the answer is no, we understand it really is slim picking around here.

If the answer is yes, please accept our new online store, where you can buy some of the products we have on offer or have made up.

From Adventure Holidays to Games for you at home and the very finest in entertainment, it’s all here at The Gurgler’s shop.

Visit now.

Ye Older Gurgler Shoppe.

Gurgler Six Pack – Awful Sporting Outfits

By

Kaaps Loche

-

December 16, 2014

0

The Auckland Nines jerseys were unveiled during the week to the interest, astonishment and disgust of league fans and the general disinterest of most. Channelling the recent G20 conference it was a display of quality ugly attire akin to any previous APEC or G20 yapfest. See them here. This week’s Six Pack is trawling through six different sports for their previous worst attempts.

RUGBY LEAGUE
Some of these jerseys were ahead of their time if you consider the offering of the Nines outfits. Others seemed old fashioned at the time, and even worse now. Squares and brown were certainly a fad The Gurgler misses.

AFL
AFL aren’t totally blameless either, as some of their wares are just as hideous.

FOOTBALL
Who could forget the infamous spewed beans jersey that the Socceroos wore in the Frank Arok era. Maybe they took inspiration from Norwich City or vice versa.

CRICKET
The only way to contain one of the coolest sporting teams of all time was to put them in the most hideous, awful creation ever.

OLYMPICS
It’s not just the ball games that dress their own up like an op shop mannequin. Featured is an awful opening ceremony outfits, and some Curling outfits that wouldn’t look out of place in a pizza parlour or barbershop quartet.

F1
Why do the humans have all the awful looking fun. Featured here is the BAR/Honda cars of yore. When told they couldn’t run two different colour cars, they ran the cars with a colour scheme on each side joined by a zip. They attempted to beat that a few years later with an even worse paint scheme, as well meaning as it was intended.

FINALLY
A seventh entrant yes, but this one is only included because it repulses us in any form.

[huge_it_gallery id=”2″]