Angrier than a room full of Fox League writers, ducking for cover like a Melbourne Storm Assistant Coach, trying his best to not lash out at kids at NRL games while wondering what he’s done wrong not to be a current NRL mascot, sitting on the extended bench and not expecting to play for the good of the team, and getting the full support of the board, it’s time for the weekly Rugby League rant from The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey. The NRL Donkey provides his NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 2 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
The NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 2 Weekly Opinion
Ahh, so good to get that first full round of rugby league done and dusted. And as ever rugby league are jumping to conclusions about legacies, and premierships, and which team looks the most busted arse, and why no team from the Gold Coast can ever do anyth……
SIX AGAIN
Hmmm, that’s a bit annoying. I was in the middle of giving the Gold Coast a piece of my mind, more so in regret for why on earth I’d pick them to beat the Sharks. But despite a new coach, and a decent squad full of good players, even Origin quality players, it looks like the same kind of underwhelming season lies ahead.
It wasn’t a great first round for Queensland in general, and when I say not great I mean no wins and an overall combined score of
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Ok, this is getting more annoying. The combined loss of Queensland sides was 144-58. Which sounds more like an AFL score than a rugby league one. The disappointment factor from the Queensland teams is aligned with the amount of points they scored, making the Broncos 26-0 loss the most underwhelming. The most fight shown by the Broncos was in a fight under the grandstands after the game. Perhaps Broncos coach Michael Maguire will jot down the names for later in the season if they run out of players or they want protection.
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Right, at least I was ready for that one. But one final point was…
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Bloody hell, this is getting ridiculous. I can’t even remember what the final point was. Maybe there wasn’t one, like the Broncos.
But what a shame that the post weekend social media banter about the NRL is about how Peter V’landys, or Man of Feathers as he is known in some circles, and it could also be a native American name, maybe it is, it could explain the haircut, and how the six again has ruined the game. The problem is with Six Agains is..
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Exactly. They were excessive and led to the game more and more resembling rugby union. Which is not what anyone wants. With the possible exception of Zac Lomax. If rugby league did become more like rugby union, then Zac Lomax could take rugby league to court to say it is no longer rugby league but a hybrid, and as such could then re-join an NRL club because of a legal loophole based on the fact the Six Agains have fundamentally changed the sport into a…..
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Maybe if Zac Lomax wins the court case he could go to Melbourne and sit on the extended bench, given they barely looked like they needed him last weekend. But in fairness, if given the choice of sitting on a rugby league bench and not playing versus playing rugby union, I’m sure 99% of sporting stars would make the right choice. And I guess Zac Lomax playing rugby or rugby league or hybrid rugby league or rugby union in Melbourne doesn’t matter, because they all call it rugby anyways.
So….
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It could be worse though. At least the NRL haven’t stuffed their sport to the degree that Formula One have.
Whilst the Six Agains are annoying, and….
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There’s way too many of them, at least it hasn’t fundamentally changed the sport like the new regulations have in F1.
So far the complaints about Round 1 of the NRL have come from disgruntled fans, media, and probably Buzz Rothfield if he’s still alive, which I don’t care enough to check, not as much from the players themselves.
Unlike F1 where the drivers themselves are comparing the new rules to MarioKart. And there are a lot of parallels on that. They now have boosts like the Mushrooms on offer, Mercedes have that invincible mode, and some drivers just crash into the wall for fun. Although not fun for the millions of Australian fans.
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Talking of fans, this weekend could see South Sydney star Alex Johnston break the try scoring record. He could have had it in Round 1 if not for a large dose of ball hogging from Latrell Mitchell. But that should be cured this weekend as Latrell has played his good game for the month of March and will be looking to pass for the remaining games. If only he…
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But the fans should be allowed to enter the field when he does that, or at the end of the game. It’s a historic moment that demands the appropriate celebration and player hoisting.
If permission isn’t granted, then the fans should organise, at least 10,000 of them. Mainly Rabbitohs fans, but even if Roosters want to be well-wishers too. Of course this would be hard to get 10,000 fans to rush the field of a Titans game, but luckily no one will hang around long enough or score enough tries to break any records. But back to the…
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pitch invasion. If say 10,000 people throw in $100 dollars each that’s a pool of a million dollars which will cover at least 70 fans potential fines. If 10,000 fans run onto the field at once, the powers that be won’t be catching more than 50, so the remaining bail money can be spent on beers for anyone who entered the field. Of course you’ll need to trust the person holding a million dollars, we offer up the Rabbitohs mascot. He’s trustworthy as, and can’t move very fast, so is perfect for the job.
Talking of moving fast…
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It’s time for the expert tips and match by match thoughts for the weekend ahead.
READ MORE: NRL DONKEY’S 2026 NRL SEASON PREVIEW
READ MORE: PROPER NRL ROUND 2 PREVIEW TIPS AND PREDICTIONS
The NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 2 Expert Tips & Match Analysis
GAME BY GAME
THURSDAY 8pm – BRISBANE v PARRAMATTA
Hard to tell which of these teams were more embarrassing last weekend. Probably the Broncos as they had a bigger crowd. Parramatta were in Melbourne after all. Surely the Broncos can’t play as bad this week.
Brisbane by 10
FRIDAY 6pm – WAHS v CANBERRA
Is this the rugby league neutral’s favourite game? Anyone who hates either of these teams is not a real rugby league fan. It’s almost un-Australian, but then I note that one of the teams is from New Zealand.
Wahs by 8
FRIDAY 8pm – ROOSTERS v SOUTH SYDNEY
It is set up so nicely. One of rugby league’s biggest rivalries. Ex Rooster Latrell Mitchell at his confident best in Round 1 and ready to give it to Roosters fans. Alex Johnston on the verge of a try scoring record. A genuine Friday blockbuster. And we do hope that the fans invade the pitch to celebrate. Just remember, they can’t arrest 10,000 of you at the same time, so stick together and enjoy the moment, and pool the cash to pay for the unlucky ones. As long as you don’t go full Celtic-Rangers. That’s not cool. In Australia.
Souths by 4
SATURDAY 3pm – WESTS TIGERS v NORTH QUEENSLAND @ Leichhardt
These games usually average about a million points a game, so that will be expected once again.
Wests Tigers by 8
SATURDAY 5:30pm – ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA v MELBOURNE @ WIN Stadium
Melbourne don’t like teams who can bored them to death, so who better than the Dragons to try and upset the Storm through boredom. Much like the boredom of sitting through a Fox League commentary of a Dragons game. Stats wise, St George Illawarra have won the last two too, so maybe the upset is on. Talking of upset, it will be funny to keep an eye on Craig Bellamy if it happens.
Dragons by 2
SATURDAY 7:30pm – PENRITH v CRONULLA @ Bathurst
Both teams flogged underwhelming Queensland teams last weekend. Penrith’s record at Bathurst isn’t great, and even Newcastle beat them there last season. But Cronulla’s record against Penrith is even worse.
Penrith by 6
SUNDAY 4pm – MANLY v NEWCASTLE
As long as they replay that Mark Carroll v Paul Harragon mega tackle over and over again, I don’t really care about the result. But I guess we’ll see if Newcastle’s first win was a fluke. Probably was. Newcastle lost every Sunday game last season, perhaps it’s a religious thing.
Manly by 12
SUNDAY 6:15pm – DOLPHINS v GOLD COAST @ Suncorp Stadium
Somehow the Dolphins didn’t play that well last weekend and still scored 30 points. They also didn’t win. They play the specialists in that category the Gold Coast Titans, who the Dolphins have a very good record against. But the game needs more Ray Stone. Or else.
Dolphins by 30
READ MORE: THE GURGLER’S FULL NRL 2026 GEAR
We’ve been working hard for you to bring you the 2026 NRL Season Previews from every angle and angel possible. But never Jo Angel.
NRL ROUND 1 ONE MINUTE MATCH REPORTS – PART TWO
NRL ROUND 1 ONE MINUTE MATCH REPORTS – LAS VEGAS
NRL DONKEY’S 2026 SEASON PREVIEW
BOLD NRL 2026 SEASON PREDICTIONS
CAPTAIN HINDSIGHT’S SENSIBLE NRL 2026 SEASON PREDICTIONS
WHY YOUR TEAM CAN’T WIN THE 2026 NRL PREMIERSHIP
NRL 2026 RATINGS PREDICTIONS
2026 NRL JERSEY RATINGS WITH AI GREK NORMAN
2026 NRL DRAW ANALYSIS
2026 NRL DRAW ANALYSIS – TEAM BY TEAM
THE A TO Z OF THE 2025 NRL SEASON
