Angrier than a room full of Fox League writers, more biased than your club’s most hated referee, and ducking for cover like a Melbourne Storm Assistant Coach, it’s time for the weekly Rugby League rant of The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey, who provides his NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 18 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 18 Weekly Rant
So Origin III is upon us, and this massive inconvenience to the NRL season is nearly done and dusted, and call me a moaning donkey, not Eeyore, he’s all right, but I just can’t wait for it to be over.
Sure, I get into the game on the night, after putting on enough bets to tickle my interest, especially around standout performances from Kurt Capewell aka Captain Plod, who I have hammered constantly via this forum, but am smart enough to know that karma means he’ll do good and I need to get piece of that pie. I’m also hanging out to see historic performances like Wolfmother, Channel Nein and Ashley Klown, the latter providing top notch entertainment in conjunction with a game I made up. I have to open a new tallie of XXXX bitter with every penalty and ruck infringement and finish it before the next one, which leaves me wondering the next morning who won, by how many, and which states actually play in the State of Origin.
You may ask why XXXX Bitter, and that’s a very good question, because anytime is never the right time to drink XXXX Bitter, or to put it another way, never is the right time to always drink XXXX Bitter. But to answer my question on your behalf, if you are still listening that is, like referees, drinking games should involved punishment not enjoyment, so like swallowing any of Ashley Klown’s performances, the beer choice in my game should also be terrible. If they don’t pick referees on form why should I pick the beer on form.
But is Origin ruining everything all worth it for that two hour fix?
Never, if it means watching Channel Nein for a minute. I tried to watch the first State of Origin on Fox League delay, but playing the Klown-XXXX Tallie game meant I wasn’t legally able pull the cart around the farm the next morning. Didn’t stop me as there weren’t any police on the farm that I work in, but the hangover was too much to bear.
Although, world’s worst hangover is how I’d describe the Channel Nein call, where not even throwing up can cure it. So there you go.
Then, there’s way too much Billy Slater, especially after that blub fest last time. There’s probably also too much of the NSW coach, but it doesn’t feel as irritating.
There’s certainly too much of the Westpac ads. Which were better last year when Gus told the ad to shut up. If only he did that this year. To those ads, and himself.
I guess we’re sort-of lucky this year that the Lachlan Galvin saga and the accompanying sucking up from the media has covered over the impact of Origin a little.
But now the finale is set, and the teams picked we can look forward to a fantastic round on NRL with five games. From those ten teams playing there are 27 players ruled out. Hmmmm, almost at the point with just letting the NSW and Qld Cups have a crack instead. Well, they sort of are.
Again, is it really worth it. Why play this weekend at all? Except for maybe the Tigers, but they would probably need the Roosters supply every player to both states for them to break their winless run against them. At least the game isn’t on a Friday where the Tigers have lost as many games as young potential superstars.
But the 18th Man is a joke. If the NRL insist on having rubbish five game, origin player depleted, XXXX Gold weak rounds of NRL, then the 18th man has to come from a team not playing this weekend. It’s only fair.
But both state teams have picked key players for their clubs to sit on a seat rather than lighting up the NRL this weekend. Funnily enough, both comes from teams involved in what would be called a blockbuster on Friday night. I mean, Fox League will still call it a blockbuster, and Matt Nable will probably still do that voiceover thing, but they aren’t kidding anyone, or are only kidding themselves. And possibly a gullible segment of the population who only get their news through Twitter, formerly known as X.
Although Billy Slater is crafty enough to select Reece Walsh as 18th man, then do a big switcheroo an hour before kick off, moving the Hammer back into the centres and replacing Gehamat Shibasaki and costing us a great comeback story. It would be pure Billy/Channel Nein to do so.
Amazing looking at the Origin teams that the best centre pairing in Queensland had played a combined three games over the previous two seasons leading into the 2025 season. That doesn’t mean they don’t deserve their spots, they do, just amazing to think the best two centres in Queensland weren’t really playing NRL last season. Or the season before.
But watch the Origin I will, along with this weekend’s NRL dross. And you can be rest assured that I will be whingeing about it some more next week, and next year and the year after that until Origin is standalone, with Pacific Nations test series, Youth and Police Services games, kicking off the NRLW season a bit earlier and more in an annual festival of rugby league.
And more moaning with this week’s expert tips offerings.
The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 18 Expert Tips
FRI – BULLDOGS v BRISBANE (Olympic Stadium)
Both teams affected by Origin and the 18th man, so I guess it sort of evens out. Shame not to see another blockbuster after last weekend. NRL at Origin time sucks. Hopefully Matt Burton can entertain the crowd with some enormous bombs. During and after the match.
Brisbane by 2
SAT – CANBERRA v ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA
Fancy Canberra leading the comp. Wouldn’t Ricky be loving it. The Canberra fans will no doubt be rewarded for their loyalty with a solid zero degree temperature to watch them beat the Dragons.
Canberra by 20
SAT – NORTH QUEENSLAND v MELBOURNE
Lucky Cowboys get Melbourne in Origin mode. And seem to get the Storm in Origin mode or last round of the season so who cares mode. Good on them. Melbounre aren’t playing very well either, as you can tell by the Bellometer going through the roof. Once again, Fox League, Red Button, Bellamy coaching box. Make it happen. No excuses for losing for the Cowboys then.
Melbourne by 6
SUN – ROOSTERS v WESTS TIGERS
Wests Tigers record v Roosters is one of the worst in the competition. But the Roosters have a few out for Origin. Even then. Na, can’t see it.
Roosters by 24
SUN – MANLY v SOUTH SYDNEY
Excellent, a game between two sides bang out of form to end the week. Well Manly did win last weekend. Against the Tigers. Might go and see the F1 movie instead.
Manly by 10
