NRL | The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 17 Expert Tips and Opinion

Angrier than a room full of Fox League writers, more biased than your club’s most hated referee, and ducking for cover like a Melbourne Storm Assistant Coach, it’s time for the weekly Rugby League rant of The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey, who provides his NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 17 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.

The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 17 Weekly Rant

As the world waits for the fallout of the US air strike on Iran’s nuclear facilities (no pun intended) it does make me wonder if those bunker busting planes could be put to good use in rugby league.

Because there’s a very dangerous site that threatens the Australian way of life and enjoyment of rugby league, that’s worse than 12 Irans – The NRL Bunker.

Hearing the term Bunker Buster did get me quite excited, and despite the fact the NRL Bunker isn’t 90 metres or whatever below ground, and that the use of the Bunker Buster bombs would be totally disproportionate, I’d still be keen to get rid of one of the world’s most dangerous weapons.

The Allies invaded Iraq for less but at least came up with the catchy phrase of Weapons of Mass Destruction.

So about I come up with the term Weapon of Mass Obstruction for the NRL Bunker.

Maybe though we don’t need to send in the US planes with Bunket Busters to destroy the NRL Bunker, perhaps just let Craig Bellamy watch his team play in side the Bunker and let nature take its course.  

p.s., the sooner Fox League get a Red Button alternative coverage from inside the Melbourne coaches box the better. Do it, and do it now.

Not that the NRL Bunker did anything disastrously wrong this weekend, but Saddam Hussein wasn’t the super evil villain every day either, and while President Trump is in the mood you have to take advantage.

Although, I must stress the need to ensure that no humans are inside at the time, just the technology.

Because if we don’t perhaps AI takes over the human element anyway in the NRL Bunker, and we end up with a situation like the Terminator, and robots would become referees and video referees and slowly ruin the game until a nude Arnie falls out of the sky to save the day.

Rugby league and nudity do go hand in hand, so maybe that could work. And where’s there’s sporting nudity, Greg Norman usually isn’t too far away. This website does love a semi-nude Greg Norman (if you haven’t seen the Comic series) and features him probably too much for most religions, except I presume Buddhism, as Greg Norman has landed a plush job as a Vietnam Tourism ambassador.

Imagine that campaign. Sunsets, Culture, shirtless Greg Norman and a sunset. Boxes well and truly ticked. Maybe Vietnam will become the Joneses new destination of choice. There’s probably not enough plane punching to persuade the Bali travel crowd, but maybe Vietnam doesn’t want them there anyway.

Talking of semi-nude and not being wanted, what a delight that Ashley Klein appears to be named as the Origin III referee. Whilst this website recommends and agrees with Pick and Stick at Origin level, except in the case of DCE, Captain Plod, and anyone too good for NSW, which is most of the side, surely Askley Klown’s efforts in Origin II would see him take the DCE path.

Maybe that’s harsh, how about basing his omission based on a back catalogue of arrogantly controlled poor performances over recent seasons and beyond.

So if State of Origin teams are mostly picked on form, how can Klein be the referee named. I’ve never wanted an Origin Bolter more in my life.

And I’m a Queenslander.

I just want a referee whose name I can’t remember the next day because he had no impact on the game.

Talking of impact, here are this week’s NRL Round 17 Expert tips.

The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 17 Expert Tips

THU – PENRITH v BULLDOGS (CommBank)

Dear NRL,

This is how you start a round of NRL.

What a game though. Champs v Challengers. Determining whether the Bulldogs are contenders or pretenders. Determining whether the Panthers are back or not. So many questions. Answers coming.

Regards,

NRL Donkey.

Penrith by 6

FRI – MANLY v WESTS TIGERS

Dear Benji,

Please tell your players this game isn’t on a Friday. Otherwise they have no hope.

Regards,

NRL Donkey.

Tigers by 6

FRI – NEWCASTLE v CANBERRA

Dear Whingescreens O’Brien,

Looks like your fans do know rugby league after all. In fact, you could argue their booing or the return of some key backs has had more to do with the turnaround in form than you.

Regards,

NRL Donkey.

Newcastle by 6

SAT – BRISBANE v WAHS

Dear Wahs,

Please don’t choke. Rugby League needs a top four Warriors team.

Regards,

NRL Donkey.

Warriors by 6

SAT – ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA v PARRAMATTA (Win)

Dear Flanno,

Your son isn’t to blame, you are.

Regards,

NRL Donkey.

Parramatta by 6

SAT – DOLPHINS v RABBITOHS

Dear Fox League,

Can you please ensure you flog the Wayne Bennett angle about this game to Lachlan Galvin levels.

Regards,

NRL Donkey.

Dolphins by 6

SUN – MELBOURNE v CRONULLA

Dear Fox League,

Refer above opening rant.

We need the Bellamy Button for all Melbourne games pronto please.

Regards,

NRL Donkey.

Melbourne by 6

SUN – GOLD COAST v NORTH QUEENSLAND

Dear Todd,

Hope you have your resume in order.

Regards,

NRL Donkey.

Gold Coast by 6