Faster than an Aston Martin, more expendable than an Alpine driver, with tricks that he’s hiding from the FIA, and more troubling than a sore wrist, it’s the F1 Donkey with his unique view on F1 and more. Before each race The F1 Donkey puts the ass in sass and unloads his alternative, slightly unhinged thoughts on F1 including this week’s Bold 2025 Canadian Grand Prix Predictions and opinion.
The F1 Donkey’s Pre Canadian Grand Prix Thoughts
As I dive into the rant for the upcoming weekend of Formula 1, we still have no idea whether the Aston Martin F1 entrant Lance Stroll will actually live up to his title and participate in this weekend’s Canadian Grand Prix. Which is his home race. If that matters. Which it doesn’t.
Now I have lit three candles a day for Lance Stroll, prayed to at least four different gods, fasted on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and shaved the number 18 into my hair in the hope it would give Lance Stroll the strength to return to the track this weekend.
Not really. F—k Lance Stroll.
By the way 18 is Lance Stroll’s number, not the amount of Championship points he has scored this season nor the numebr of times he has been knocked out in Q1 in his career. One number is slightly lower than 18, the other much higher. I’ll let you work out which way that goes.
The petulant man-child is the ultimate F1 jerk. Not super villain as that would imply he had enough personality or could expend enough effort to be able to play a super villain. Or a lower grade villain.
Stroll is a bigger jerk than Flavio, who is on his way to sacking driver number two for the season. He’s a bigger jerk than the current FIA President who seems to hate all the drivers, forgetting that they, not him or his moneyed friends actually drive the cars. He’s even a bigger jerk than the guy waving the chequered flag at the 1982 Swiss Grand Prix (held in Dijon in France when people cared less for geography, aerodynamics and Lance Stroll) who allegedly had to be wrestled not to wave the chequered flag two laps early with a French driver driving a French car was leading but being caught and was obviously going to be passed by Keke Rosberg.
Ah Keke Rosberg. Now there was a driver. He was everything that Lance Stroll isn’t. And more.
That early flag did actually happen in 1984. At Monaco.
No, not that 1984. But if this was the novel 1984 then it might be what it’s like to work at Aston Martin. Where you can’t bad mouth or even think about bad mouthing Lance Stroll because Big Brother owns the team.
Luckily it’s 2025 and not 1984 for many reasons, one is that plenty of details have emerged about Lance Stroll’s child-like tantrum after the Spanish GP qualifying. With lots of things alleged to have happened, other than Stroll being outperformed by Alonso.
One does wonder why 14th on the grid was such a sore point, especially given he is the record holder of Q1 exits, something he moaned about when approached on the celebration day of that effort. About how the McLaren drivers would have thesame record if they were in a Sauber for a decade.
Wrong. Both McLaren drivers up to now have had enough talent to avoid driving for Sauber, Haas, and any other backmarker. Although, you could argue that McLaren have been backmarkers for a while in the past few seasons. That’s why Oscar Piastri told Alpine to shove it when they announced his signing ahead of 2023. Piastri had enough talent and Alex-Wurz level buzz to have two good teams chasing him before he had even raced.
Plus, even if Piastri and/or Lando Norris weren’t as good as they are, and found themselves in a Sauber, they would only last a season or two of Q1 exits before they would be sacked. Only the churlish man-children of this world with limited talent and attitude who need their father to sponsor or buy an F1 team would get enough drives to break the Q1 exit record. Any other driver in F1 history would have been sacked years ago.
So let’s see if Lance Stroll’s injury can get a FIFA World Cup style magic water spray and be good to go for his home race this weekend. It wouldn’t be the same without him. Like Q2 and Q3, it would be the same without him. I’d argue better.
The NRL Donkey’s Bold 2025 Canadian Grand Prix Predictions
And here they are, in a convenient team by team format, so you can ignore them all at your convenience or peril. Depending on the outcome of our prediction.
McLAREN
This could be the track that stuffs up both drivers and opens the door for an alternative winner. Although, probably not. Lando will probably win.
RED BULL
Max Verstappen to lose his mind for a second race and get that elusive licence point to leave Red Bull with no good drivers for the next race. Canada has massive Q2 shunt written all over it for Yuki Tsunoda.
MERCEDES
George Russell in conflict again with Max Verstappen for our amusement in the race. Time for a top four qualifying effort from Mr Antonelli I say.
FERRARI
Outside chance at a pole for Charles Leclerc and a podium. Massive chance at great disappointment for Lewis Hamilton.
WILLIAMS
Double Q3 and double DNF. Accidents and incidents for both drivers.
ALPINE
Franco Colapinto to drive his last F1 race. Pierre Gasly to have the most midfield experience of the weekend.
RB
Q3 for Isack Hadjar. Q1 scowl from Liam Lawson.
ASTON MARTIN
A glorious Q1 exit for Lance Stroll. Early car related DNF for Alonso.
HAAS
Points for Bearman. 1st lap prang for Ocon.
SAUBER
Nico Hulkenberg to miss out on Q3 in the dying seconds, but get some points on race day again.
F1 2025 Season Stuff
We’ve worked hard getting ready for the 2025 F1 Season, and this is our best work below.
EMILIA-ROMAGNA GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
MIAMI GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
SAUDI ARABIA GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
BAHRAIN GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
JAPANESE GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
CHINESE GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
AUSTRALIAN GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
2025 F1 SEASON PREVIEW – DRIVERS
2025 F1 SEASON PREVIEW – TEAMS
2025 F1 SEASON – THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR AND AVOID
AI DOES F1 – TURNING CARS INTO ANIMALS
F1 2024 Season Stats
Want to remember what happened last season? Here’s a bunch of our best work to sum up the 2024 F1 Season.
F1 2024 FULL RACE REVIEWS ALL 24 RACES
