Faster than an Aston Martin, more expendable than an Alpine driver, with tricks that he’s hiding from the FIA, and harder to get out of than a Brazilian gravel trap, it’s the F1 Donkey with his unique view on F1 and more. Before each race The F1 Donkey puts the ass in sass and unloads his alternative, slightly unhinged thoughts on F1 including this week’s Bold 2025 Emilia-Romagna Grand Prix Predictions and opinion.
The F1 Donkey’s Pre Monaco Grand Prix Thoughts
The most famous Grand Prix of the season is here, and unlike some other fabricated F1 events on questionable “street” tracks, with “boat harbours” and “Danica Patrick”, Monaco is the real deal and original and best.
Of course we all forget that most Monaco Grands Prix without rain are boring as, but that doesn’t stop the excitement leading into the race.
Much like New Year’s Eve, the most overrated day on the calendar, and also the last, maybe that’s why people anticipate it so much. No, that would be the alcohol. But regardless one does still get excited about NYE, then halfway through remember that it’s always sh!t, and wonder why you have stayed up past midnight to watch it. Much like watching the Monaco GP in Australia.
But even if it is boring, like last year’s economy run to the chequered flag, it is still amazing to see these cars go so fast around a track that is so unfit for Formula 1 these days.
Monaco with the current oversized F1 cars is sort of like a Bus driving through the aisles of the local supermarket.
But Monaco is still one of the last places in Formula One where the drivers can truly outshine the cars, so I’d expect a little magic from drivers like Alonso and Albon and any number of the great rookies we have this season. It really is a rich field of talent these days. Well almost.
Looking at this visual we stole from our own Monaco Grand Prix Prix-view there are a few drivers whose average grid slot improves noticeably at Monaco. And some who don’t.
Although if you’re car is like a wheelbarrow, there’s only so much talent you can shovel into it.
Monaco also punishes like no other, even Max Verstappen crashes here. Usually this is where we unfairly predict Lance Stroll will crash, and this week will be no different.
I’d also suggest Franco Colapinto’s race will end in the wall, but I don’t want too many death threats from fans from Argentina. I’ve seen that Top Gear episode and they don’t mess around. Anyways I like Argentian F1 drivers in general. Esteban Tuero was underrated and Carlos Reutimann was in that bracket of genuine talents who should have been champion at some stage. And who doesn’t love Diego Maradona, despite him being a footballer and not an F1 driver. Maybe English football fans I guess, but they are amongst the most miserable, hateful sporting fans in the universe.
I’m not worried about death threats from Lance Stroll fans for suggesting he’ll crash. Because most people think he will. And he doesn’t have fans. Except for his Dad, and that’s the most important one as it keeps him employed.
Back to Colapinto though for a moment, there have been accusations that his hiring proves that Alpine are now an official pay driver team. Which is unfair, as Colapinto also brings some talent along with his money. But even if Alpine are now a drive to the highest bidder kind of team, why not embrace it. Selling race drives in 6 race blocks is a great idea, and throw in an Indian Premier League Cricket style auction night for TV or at least a Netflix spinoff. Drivers lining up with some talent and one of those bags with the dollar sign in it.
Even if the race turns out to be a dud, there’s still so much to like about Monaco. The hairpin is famous, and given the wide cars of this era, we can almost expect a peak traffic style traffic jam on lap one.Smees
While I’m at it, I’d just like to say there’s not enough tunnels in Formula One. Nor loop the loops. Or jumps, which would be very funny but presume a disaster for their front wings, suspension, and gearboxes.
The tightest tussle on track this weekend will be Martin Brundle on his gridwalk, with the starting line pre-race even less suited to Formula One with all the A Grade celebrities that I have to google afterwards. It might also be the only point where we see overtaking on Sunday.
There’s so much to look forward to for this weekends Monaco Grand Prix.
Anyways, staying off the barriers for now, here are the bold predictions for this weekend’s Monaco Grand Prix.
The NRL Donkey’s Bold 2025 Monaco Grand Prix Predictions
And here they are, in a convenient team by team format, so you can ignore them all at your convenience or peril. Depending on the outcome of our prediction.
McLAREN
Lando Norris takes pole, requiring fresh underpants for all the Sky F1 team. Norris then clashes with Verstappen on the first lap leaving Oscar Piastri to cruise and collect.
RED BULL
Max Verstappen pipped to pole and then promptly crashes with the pole sitter at the chicane on the first lap. Yuki Tsunoda will tstuff his Red Bull into the barriers at some stage and will cost his team time and money and himself point.
MERCEDES
Kimi is a Q1 exit while George Russell stealths his way to points again. And slowly mounting a title challenge.
FERRARI
Lewis Hamilton a progressively less surprising Q1 exit. Charles Leclerc to wring the maximum out of the car for fourth.
WILLIAMS
Top six qualifying and podium joy for Alex Albon. Carlos Sainz out of luck, again.
ALPINE
Colapinto to have two crashes over the weekend. Pierre Gasly to be a Q3 nuisance to the top teams.
RB
Q3 joy for Hadjar. Race in the wall misery for Hadjar. Liam Lawson to participate.
ASTON MARTIN
Fernando Alonso to do something special at some stage only for the race to go pear shaped and end up with no points again. Lance Stroll eliminated on the first lap.
HAAS
Oliver Bearman to show speed up until a Q2 crash. Ocon to pinch a point or two through stealth and luck with Safety Car timing.
SAUBER
Nico Hulkenberg to be knocked out of progressing to Q3 by the very last car to cross the finish line ion Q2. That will be the ceiling of achievement for him. Gabriel Bortoleto will be sniffing around points.
F1 2025 Season Stuff
We’ve worked hard getting ready for the 2025 F1 Season, and this is our best work below.
EMILIA-ROMAGNA GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
MIAMI GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
SAUDI ARABIA GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
BAHRAIN GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
JAPANESE GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
CHINESE GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
AUSTRALIAN GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
2025 F1 SEASON PREVIEW – DRIVERS
2025 F1 SEASON PREVIEW – TEAMS
2025 F1 SEASON – THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR AND AVOID
AI DOES F1 – TURNING CARS INTO ANIMALS
F1 2024 Season Stats
Want to remember what happened last season? Here’s a bunch of our best work to sum up the 2024 F1 Season.
F1 2024 FULL RACE REVIEWS ALL 24 RACES
