Angrier than a room full of Fox League writers and NRL 360 hosts, slower than a Bunker decision, wetter than a rugby league ball in Townsville and spending more time in the Sin Bin than his contract allows, it’s time for the weekly Rugby League rant of The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey, who provides his NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 11 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 11 Weekly Rant
Another weekend of NRL and another mountain out of a molehill with a bit of water sprayed on a rugby league ball. Last time I checked the games was at night and there would have been dew on it anyway. And water on the ball doesn’t explain the hopeless attempts to convert field goals.
I must say, I do prefer Golden Try to Golden Point. And I prefer both to a golden shower. I have heard other former rugby league stars beg to differ, but they are a strange bunch.
Golden Try means teams actually play rugby league for ten minutes, not turn it into the most European Football game of cat and mouse. Minus the falling over trying to get a penalty. Actually….hang on….Or the continual field goal attempts remind me of rugby union, so why would the NRL want to stoop as low as looking like rugby union. That game is only for private school educated gentlemen with their collars up and labels out for their beer, and non participation in wearing RM Williams shoes severely frowned upon. Golden Try also reduces the scope where The Bunker and/or referees can ruin an NRL game. Which is always a good thing.
Although you do have to wonder about the pointless exercise of having golden point if they settle for a draw anyway. Like Wayne Bennett I’m high on draws and low on golden point. And stereos.
Draws can be a magnificent result, this website has a whole article weekly devoted to Football draws. When the lazy football writing can be bothered. And especially when you follow a dud Premier League team like Ipswich Town who have only won four of 36 games this season. Or look at Southampton’s fantastic draw v Premier League juggernaut Manchester City. Not only did they not lose to one of Europe’s richest clubs, the one point also meant they are no longer the worst Premier League team in history. Their 12 points is now one higher than Derby County. So you can’t tell me a draw is not a result. Or indeed a great result.
Only glass half empty people don’t like draws. But I guess rugby league is full of those types. In fact, Fox League devote an hour of TV three nights a week to these type of people on NRL360. With the glass having a decreasing volume for people like Buzz. He probably doesn’t have any liquid in his glass. And he can shove the glass.
Back to the water on the ball. It would be much funnier if the trainers put other things on the ball. Like a healthy dose of Ghost Chilli rubbed on the ball. Vaseline would also be funny. Nutella would be funny as it would not only be sticky and difficult to deal with, but the obvious look of shit stain makes for hilarious TV. Perhaps instead of the game just being called a draw after 90 minutes the NRL could use some of these tactics to spice up Golden Point.
So if there is still a draw after 90 minutes the game is halted to give the players a break, but in the meantime trainers, coaches, doctors, players are allowed to put whatever cheating device they have in their kit bag on the ball. With no upper limit on amount or rankness of the additive. As long as the sponsors logos are still visible. And teams are allowed to continue doing so in every break of play until someone wins the game.
And for something as equal as a draw, here are the NRL Round 11 Expert Tips.
The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 11 Expert Tips
NEWCASTLE v PARRAMATTA
The two lowest scoring teams in the NRL are playing the lowest interesting time slot of the weekend. How apt. Parramatta to win because Mitchell Moses is better than Kalyn Ponga.
Parramatta by 4
BULLDOGS v ROOSTERS
Perhaps the Bulldogs have mastered the arts of only needing to play one good half and saving energy.
Bulldogs by 12
DOLPHINS v WARRIORS
Hopefully an entertaining, flowing clash. Or selfishly, a Dolphins win.
Warriors by 2
NORTH QUEENSLAND v MANLY
Funny that people accuse Manly of not liking to travel. They have an excellent record in Townsville. People also say they hate Manly. I accuse them of both.
Manly by 8
CRONULLA v MELBOURNE
Maybe if Melbourne are winning by 90 this weekend Craig Bellamy could crack a smile. Cronulla aren’t that bad. In fact it would be funny to a neutral sitting inside a Popemobile-like safe space if Cronulla were winning.
Melbourne by 30
BRONCOS v ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA
Unlike the Commodores songs, and to a lesser degree Faith No More, this game isn’t easy like a Sunday Morning. It’s more like the Ewwwwwwwwwwwww part of the song. There are just four wins in 22 games on a Sunday between both Broncos and Dragons. And the Dragons have all four wins. Although, they are 1/10 away on a Sunday. Maybe another draw. Although I’m sure Xavier Willison and Payne Haas won’t settle for a draw.
Broncos by 2.
CANBERRA v GOLD COAST
I had to double check my phone, Canberra and the Gold Coast on Channel Nein at the same time. We are getting close to Origin. Unlike the Gold Coast to Canberra this weekend. If David Fifita wasn’t injured he’d get a lot of bench time to see what he missed out on by not moving to Canberra.
Canberra by 20
WESTS TIGERS v SOUTH SYDNEY
At least the Tigers aren’t playing a side with a fullback in red hot form…..wait a minute. Souths have Latrell. And Latrell is on the hunt for an Origin berth.
Tigers by 8
I, think , this prediction is perfect but I have doubt about Mainly and cowboys