Faster than a Max Verstappen, more expendable than a Red Bull #2 driver, with more swearing than the FIA would like, and harder to get out of than a Brazilian gravel trap, it’s the F1 Donkey with his unique view on F1 and more. Before each race The F1 Donkey puts the ass in sass and unloads his alternative, slightly unhinged thoughts on F1 including this week’s Bold 2025 Miami Grand Prix Predictions and opinion.
The F1 Donkey’s Pre Miami Grand Prix Thoughts
So here we are at the first USA Grand Prix, and what a time to be there, to join in the celebrations of Donald Trump’s first 100 days in office. Not forgetting the current US President was there last year in the McLaren put and that saw Lando Norris breakthrough for his first ever Grand Prix win.
Perhaps after that, some struggling teams and driver may reach out to Mr Trump to appear in their garage to turn around their fortunes.
One driver struggling who probably won’t be sending out an invite will be Lewis Hamilton. Although given current form he could use the extra or indeed any help. Lance Stroll being a Canadian also probably wouldn’t like an American President, although it is Lance Stroll and he doesn’t appear to like anything. Or anyone. Especially not Formula 1.
Esteban Ocon could do with some extra luck, same with Liam Lawson, but neither seem the Trump type.
Or maybe like the shadow of Mr Trump on the Canadian election, he might be bad luck this season, so maybe no one will invite him. I’d like to invite him onto the grid to see what Martin Brundle does with him. That’s a better showdown on anything we’ll probably see this weekend.
And at least Martin Brundle will know who he is. Presumably. Rather than a parade of high profile for some generation other than mine of Brundle’s US celebrities and influencers that pollute this Grand Prix. It seems a race weekend designed to just parade around these sort of people.
Who can forget the underwhelming driver introductions of past years. Although from memory Sergio Perez was ignored in one. So someone obviously knew their F1.
I’d love to go back to the good old days before Netflix when the US fans ignored F1 as a Euro snobbery thing, where the US drivers had cool names like Andretti, Speed, Gurney, and Christian Horner was just a team principal. Although on the flip side, love Gunther’s work.
Then we wouldn’t need three US races. Just one. And we certainly wouldn’t have one like this run around a football stadium and under a highway. Although (fact checks) there was a Las Vegas Grand Prix in a carpark, and one in Pheonix of all places, so as you were.
But to a degree the effort into sucking up to US markets F1 puts into the Miami Grand Prix is sickening. Much like when your Mum puts out all the really good dinner plates and cutlery for when relative or people they’re showing off to come over and the next day you’re back on the Ikea plates.
This weekend sees the F1 team whip out special liveries, drivers have special helmets, and special celebrities will no doubt hog the camera glimpses rather than drivers on track.
And boy aren’t some of the one-off liveries awful. Ferrari have made big noises about a Blue Ferrari as a historic nod to when they did it in the 60’s, but their 2025 effort looks like a mesh of a design that got jammed in the colour photocopier and pulled out as one design.
Sauber’s Black and Green looks as black and green as their usual effort, and will probably result in the same amount of points as usual.
The Racing Bulls Magenta colour is certainly interesting, and proves they are as able to change the car colour as the team name. I can imagine Magenta is Liam Lawson’s favourite colour, but they didn’t have permanent scowl, so what do you do?
Even Jack Doohan will have a special design for the Miami Grand Prix. Although one could cruelly yet possibly close to the truth argue that it could be a great limited edition special.
I’ve always regretted not buying the Prost Grand Prix team shirt when it was available, as well as the Forti team flag, the used overalls from Thierry Boutsen’s ill-fated stint as a Jordan driver, and the front wing from the Spyker of Marcus Winklehock, who remains the only driver to lead his only Grand Prix.
I do have a Super Aguri shirt. Which is by far the most treasured piece of F1 gear I own.
So Jack Doohan fans get in now, and his merch and his Alpine drive may not be coming back to Europe.
But onwards to this weekend’s bold predictions. Halfway through I realised there was a sprint race, so some may not make sense. That’s OK, no one checks them after the race anyway.
Note: that my predictions will be applying a tariff based on the calculation of Constructor Points from the Past five seasons, divided by average Grid position and multiplied with number of podiums the team has scored in Sprint races.
The NRL Donkey’s Bold 2025 Miami Grand Prix Predictions
And here they are, in a convenient team by team format, so you can ignore them all at your convenience or peril. Depending on the outcome of our prediction.
McLAREN
Could be a comeback race for Lando Norris, but a stalking Piastri retains the Championship lead after seconds in both races.
RED BULL
Yuki Tsunoda to give Max a run for his money in qualifying in the middle of the Q3 pack, then bin it in the race. That’s after a pointless Sprint race and Q2 Sprint Qualifying exit for Yuki. Max will have an off, no-podium weekend.
FERRARI
Sprint race win for Charles Leclerc. Main race podium for Charles Leclerc. More misery for Lewis Hamilton.
MERCEDES
Kimi Antonelli to out-qualify George Russell for sprint qualifying and lose a podium with a few laps to go. A strangely off form George Russell has an ordinary weekend.
WILLIAMS
Williams to lock out Row Three for Sprint Qualifying and score double points. The main race is less successful.
RACING BULLS
Izack Hadjar to make Q3 for both Sprint and the main race. Scores a handful of points on the Sunday. Liam Lawson to scowl his way through the weekend.
ALPINE
Jack Doohan’s last race.
ASTON MARTIN
People say I don ‘t like Lance Stroll and every week I wish him to crash and embarrass himself because he outwardly appears to hate being an F1 driver, one of the best jobs in the world. And he’s a spoiled brat who won’t deserve an Adrian Newey car. And they’re right. Stroll to qualify last, spin out of Sprint race and crash out of the main race. Fernando Alonso ticks another box on his calendar waiting for 2026.
HAAS
Bearman to charge through the field on Sunday for eighth. Bearman thrashes Ocon in both qualifying who has Lance Stroll to thank for not being last.
KICK SAUBER
Solid Q2 for both drivers in qualifying, and a first point for Bortoleto.
F1 2025 Season Stuff
We’ve worked hard getting ready for the 2025 F1 Season, and this is our best work below.
SAUDI ARABIA GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
BAHRAIN GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
JAPANESE GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
CHINESE GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
AUSTRALIAN GRAND PRIX – REVIEW — RATINGS
2025 F1 SEASON PREVIEW – DRIVERS
2025 F1 SEASON PREVIEW – TEAMS
2025 F1 SEASON – THINGS TO LOOK OUT FOR AND AVOID
AI DOES F1 – TURNING CARS INTO ANIMALS
F1 2024 Season Stats
Want to remember what happened last season? Here’s a bunch of our best work to sum up the 2024 F1 Season.
F1 2024 FULL RACE REVIEWS ALL 24 RACES
