Angrier than a room full of Fox League writers and NRL 360 hosts, slower than a Bunker decision, in worse form than the Penrith Panthers, and quicker to reject a $5M contract than a Wests Tigers player, it’s time for the weekly Rugby League rant of The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey, who provides his NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 7 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 7 Weekly Rant
Since the DCE vs Manly fight ran out of juice, and rightly so because no one really cares about either, especially DCE as is undeniably dull, the NRL needs some kind of beef to bring up to ruin their own sport, and thankfully for their sake, and no one else’s, the media have gone overboard on the Spencer Leniu vs Jonathan Thurston “fallout”.
Maybe it’s because Channel Nein want to retain relevance in rugby league, so talking about one of their commentators is good for business. Or maybe it’s been blown out of proportion because Buzz Rothfield is behind looking to smash Channel Nein where and when he can on behalf of the opposition media. Or maybe Buzz Rothfield is the worst human being involved in rugby league in the history of the game.
It’s likely the Leniu-Turston doesn’t matter to most fans, who care more about why their team is not winning and which official is at fault, or why is The Bunker at fault, again. With a side of why it is also the coach’s fault, and how far is some of the Fox League commentary team’s tongues up the arse of Dragons coach Flanno.
But maybe I know nothing about rugby league, which is quite possibly given the current status in the barn tipping competition. I’m behind ducks and the cat, who doesn’t even put in tips and gets away teams. A rule I’m totally against. If you don’t tip in a comp, you shouldn’t get away teams, you should get the lowest tipping score of everyone else in that round minus one point. So if some muppet scores 0/8, which is likely given Penrith’s start to 2025, then you get minus one point. There should be no reward for not tipping. Especially if you’re a cat.
Back to the beefs. Maybe fans do like the tension, the conflict, the petty arguments. I guess that’s why NRL360 is still on air. So do the NRL take advantage of that hate, and make a spectacle out of it.
And as ever I think I have the perfect solution.
It’s called Beef Night, where all of rugby league’s beefs play out at one venue for the TV cameras to capture the magic.
And why not run it during the two month period where the NRL ruin their own game by making Origin the only priority.
Conveniently enough, Beef Week in Rockhampton is in early July, which coincides with Round 18 – one of those pathetic attempt at an NRL round with five games, and likely to be Origin affected, so essentially reserve grade. Don’t get me wrong, Reserve Grade is great, in fact I watched Ipswich Jets v PNG Hunters last weekend and loved it. But it isn’t NRL.
So as part of the Beef Week celebration in Rockhampton, and giving an opportunity to take some NRL to regional centre that gets bugger all since Covid, the NRL puts a boxing ring in the middle of the main rodeo arena in Rockhampton and the two “fighters” get up on stage and are given five minutes each to give the other one a spray of a lifetime. The winner will be determined by the crowd inside the venue who are given special QR codes to vote. The winner will win the beef forever and neither person can talk about the other in public or on social media again.
The choice Cuts O Beef include….
Leniu v Thurston
DCE v Manly
Buzz v Gus
Anthony Seibold v Wayne Bennett
Andrew Johns v Erin Molan
Wayne Bennett v Golden Point
The Bunker v Common Sense
And to finish it off, Reggie the Rabbitoh and three other NRL mascots will take on 20 local Rockhampton kids in an old school WWE Royal Rumble.
What a night that promises to be. Beef settled, followed by more Beef.
Talking of Beefs, I’m sure I;ve got a few to share as I got through this week’s games below…..
The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 7 Expert Tips
MANLY v ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA
What a way to start the week. By watching something else.
Manly by 20
BULLDOGS v SOUTH SYDNEY
Should be the best Good Friday clash in a long time, so genuinely looking forward to this.
DOLPHINS v MELBOURNE
Well didn’t think the Dolphins could beat Penrith either.
WARRIORS v BRISBANE
After getting their customary defeat from the Melbourne Storm, the Warriors should be happy to welcome whichever Broncos side turns up. Talking of turning up, Xavier Willison always does. And was robbed of a try on Friday.
ROOSTERS v PENRITH
Surely Penrith can’t lose six in a row.
Penrith by 10
GOLD COAST v CANBERRA
Gold Coast have peaked.
Canberra by 10
NEWCASTLE v CRONULLA
There’s something about this game. As in, I’ll be doing something else.
Cronulla by 6
WESTS TIGERS v PARRAMATTA
Tigers should be thinking Spoon Bowl revenge as the first game of the 18 month Farewell Lachlan Galvin tour begins. Wonder if he looks better in a Western Suburbs jersey of a Balmain jersey?
Wests Tigers by 6
