A visiting Englishman has been left confused and disappointed by this year’s Hottest 100.
Manchester-born Matt Hartley, in Australia for a working holiday (and to escape his home country’s punishing winters), was invited to his cricket team’s BBQ to celebrate Triple J’s Hottest 100 countdown.
But Matt was expecting a completely different countdown.
“Seeing as we all love cricket, I assumed we’d be watching highlights from the first two seasons of The Hundred. Y’know, ‘the Hottest Hundred.’ Both men’s and women’s too. I even wore my Originals shirt in preparation.”
But Hartley’s enthusiasm fell away when he was told the Hottest 100 had nothing to do with cricket. Instead he was forced to listen to a countdown of songs he’d never heard of before.
“Mate, real music died when Oasis split up over a decade ago. Everyone knows that! Liam’s solo stuff is Biblical in parts, but Noel can piss off!”
Though Matt salvaged the day by drinking a lot of beer (getting tipsy but not obliterated), eating plenty of sausages, and playing a bit of backyard cricket.
“Eventually all that crap music became background noise. And I made myself feel better by watching highlights of the Originals’ 2022 season on the train home.”
Everyday News is a brand new general news/parody section of The Gurgler, and definitely not a lame rip-off of The Betoota Advocate. We swear.
