It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners have returned to cast their eye over the latest weekend of rugby league that was with the NRL Round 21 Results & Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the NRL Round 21 Results & Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and please contact our Legal team or Buzz Rothfield aka Hans Moleman for complaints.
NRL ROUND 21 RESULTS HEADLINES
RICKY STUART WAS ACTUALLY TRYING TO REPLICATE THE CLASSIC OLD JOHN WEST AD WHERE HE GETS THE DOG SALMON
Many people were looking to the real reason why Ricky Stuart blew up about Jaeman Salmon after the Raiders were beaten by Penrith on Saturday, and the popular consensus is that it was typical Ricky trying to deflect blame after a potentially final series hopes ending loss. But the Wooden Spooners have it on good authority it was something else that Ricky himself would never admit to.
For you see, the Wooden Spooners have it on good inside information that Ricky Stuart wanted to be an actor as much as a rugby league players, and he loves 1980’s commercials.
The problem on Saturday was he was trying the old John West ad, but sadly it was way too obscure and people didn’t get the reference.
Refer above and you’ll see what we mean.
PAUL KENT MYSTERIOUSLY FINDS NOTHING WRONG WITH RICKY STUART SHOOTING HIS MOUTH OFF LIKE A JERK
Rugby League’s biggest mouthpiece – Paul Kent – leaped to Ricky Stuart’s defence after his failed John West commercial on Saturday.
This came as no surprise to the Wooden Spooners team because Paul Kent is a bit of a jerk.
NRL BOSSES ALLEGEDLY OFFERS EACH CLUB $100K MAD MONDAY BONUS FOR ROUND 22 FOR AVOIDING CONTROVERSY FOR AT LEAST A WEEK
It’s been a bad run for the NRL in recent weeks. The Great Wests Tigers Swindle in North Queensland rolling into the Manly rainbow jersey drama then being parlayed into Ricky Stuart’s performance on Saturday night.
Desperate for a week with no bullshit and to get the NRL out of the breakfast news cycle, NRL Godfather Peter V’landys has, according to Wooden Spooners insiders, offered each club a $100K each to add to their Mad Monday plans if the players and clubs agree not to do anything controversial.
It is believed that the clubs have agreed in principle but were quick to point out that the Wests Tigers-North Queensland debacle was actually the NRL’s fault.
CHANNEL NEIN SECRETLY PUTTING THE SHITTIEST GAME POSSIBLE ON A SUNDAY TO DRIVE DOWN NEXT TV RIGHTS DEAL
Sunday afternoon saw yet another dud Sunday afternoon 4pm game, and while the common denominator is usually Newcastle or the Wests Tigers, the ultimate denominator is Channel Nein.
For a long time Sunday afternoon rugby league used to be a premium timeslot. You’d know because Gus Gould would carry on with that for about the first ten minutes of each Sunday broadcast. Well, that’s from our pre Fox League experience.
But these days it seems to be a dumping ground for the worst game of the week, of course due to the unwritten rule, it must feature a minimum of one Sydney team.
When the Wooden Spooners snooped around after finding themselves in the press box with the lights off after clearly sleeping through the second half of the Tigers-Knights game and the next two hours, we spoke to a cleaner who was kicking us out, and he informed via reliable source (his cousin was a produced up to last season) that Channel Nein are purposely putting on shit games to drive down the price of the next TV deal.
ANTHONY GRIFFIN RUNNING OUT OF ASSISTANT COACHES TO FIRE
St George Illawarra coach Anthony Griffin is under pressure to retain his head coaching gig at the Dragons, especially after Fox League could no longer crowbar their mate Shane Flanagan into the Wests Tigers.
Griffin has gone down the Flotsam route in recent weeks, getting rid of as many coaches as possible that aren’t himself. Sadly another loss on Saturday to local rivals leaves his team with little hope of finals football, and himself with fewer people to fire instead of himself.
No doubt there will be an article or two aimed at the Dragons this week on Fox Sports.
WOODEN SPOONERS UNFAIR QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Q: Was the Tigers-Knights game the worst of the season?
A: No, the Tigers v Titans game earlier in the season was.
SOCIALS OF THE WEEK
Our NRL Social of the Week is from a Simpsons Related NRL Memes Facebook Page like it always is these days which is a must for those who love NRL, Simpsons and a laugh.
THE SHANE FLANAGAN NEW COACHING GIG-O-METER
With Shane Flanagan in the commentary box for Fox League in 2022, we can continue to expect subtle digs at teams who are struggling and that he can see a possible way in for.
So each week as part of the Wooden Spooner’s NRL Headlines, we’ll bring you the New Coaching Gig-O-Meter. This features which teams are hot for a new coach, or a team that was and is going cool.
With the news that the Wests Tigers are going back to the future with Tim Sheens and Benji Marshall, this means the year-long campaign to shove Shane Flanagan in as the Tigers coach is over.
Flanagan is running out of clubs, but that won’t stop the Fox League machine.
Two weeks ago it was a Dragon, last week it is a Knight. This week it could be anything.
So we offer up some artist impressions on both.
