It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times, and now the Wooden Spooners have returned to cast their eye over the first weekend of rugby league for 2022 that was with the NRL 2022 Round 4 Results & Headlines.
Going beyond the scores, the NRL 2022 Round 4 Results & Headlines gives the extra insight in the NRL that only the Wooden Spooners can.
All reports are unconfirmed and please contact our Legal team or Buzz Rothfield aka Hans Moleman for complaints.
TITANS v TIGERS WAS WORST GAME OF SPORT THIS YEAR SAYS HOMESICK ACCRINGTON STANLEY FOOTBALL FAN
The only positive from Thursday’s Titans v Tigers match was that it was close with a good ending, but the last few seconds didn’t fool Dave, a man who has been stuck in Australia since late 2019 due to Covid.
The Ipswich Town fan remarked exclusively for the Wooden Spooners as we sat at the same table at Jupiters Casino Roulette section sometime after midnight.
“That was the worst game of any sport I’ve seen this year. And I watch of lot of third division English Football this season, and my team went something like eight hours without scoring a goal. So I know about sh!t sporting teams.”
“I mean, it was barely professional. And that’s the kind of dross you’re opening the weekend with?”
When we quizzed him whether he would watch any more Titans games he advised that he was not intending to. Before we could get him to elaborate, he nailed a sweet 7-8-9 line with a $20 chip and no more time for our bullsh!t.
SHANE FLANAGAN SEEN WITH MICHAEL MAGUIRE VOODOO DOLL DURING TITANS v TIGERS MATCH
The Wooden Spooners have it on good authority that the feint metal sounds you could hear near Shane Flanagan’s home on Thursday night were the sounds of many, many metallic pins being inserted into the Voodoo doll made for Michael Maguire.
The strategy of landing of a Fox League gig and bagging out teams may eventually lead to him getting a head coach role at the Wests Tigers.
FOX LEAGUE BARELY HIDING THE FACT THEY HATE THE TIGERS AND ARE TRYING TO GET JOBS FOR BOTH FLANAGANS
Although this subject has already been covered by the Wooden Spooners team, it looks like it needs another serving after some additional mail.
Despite flogging the Wests Tigers at every opportunity, the Fox League crew are still at it, circling stories about swap deals with Kyle Flanagan to the Tigers along with his old man to coach the same club.
This is after their relentless campaign to crowbar Shane Flanagan into as many games featuring teams he’d like to coach. And the former Sharks coach (in charge of the club when most of the club were alleged to be using performance enhancing methods) spends most of the time bagging whatever club he’d like to coach.
We’re sure one of the first articles produced this week for the Fox Sports website will be the coach’s pressure cooker article with the relevant suggestions at one of their own to fill the void into the number one potential victim. With more suggestions at the inclusion of Kyle thrown in.
That or the Fox League team will get Matt Nable to do one of those long, drawn out fluff pieces about father and son should be together at the Tigers.
The Tigers, in conjunction with Fox Sports and the Tigertown producers, are hoping for a Cleary type partnership and success. Pity both are a poor man’s version of the Clearys.
WAYNE BENNETT REPORTEDLY SHOWS KALYN PONGA PHOTOS OF THE SUNSHINE COAST TO LURE HIM TO REDCLIFFE. YES THAT’S RIGHT, REDCLIFFE, NOT DOLPHINS.
Some controversy this weekend with Kalyn Ponga seen meeting with Wayne Bennett after a very under par performance from the Knight’s top star. Andrew Johns in particular thought a line had been crossed by. We guess he’d know about lines.
Ponga would be a good get for the Redclfife given the have focused much of their recruitment on the other end of the NRL lifecycle.
The Wooden Spooners have unconfirmed reports that Bennett had in a desperate attempt to sign a regular NRL starter under 30 had shown Kalyn Ponga and his team photos of Alexandra Headlands instead of Redcliffe, to attempt to portray Redcliffe as a great surfing location.
Not that there’s anything too wrong with Redcliffe and their waterfront. There’s an annual Kite festival, a lagoon somewhere, a nice old timey pavillion that the council want to tear down, a nice long jetty, and a Bee Gees tribute lane.
But to entice Ponga up north, and make him the best paid, most important player for the Redcliffe Dolphins, Bennett and Co. allegedly showed the current Newcastle player a range of photos from some recent big swells days around the Alexandra Headlands, Sunshine Plaza and what’s left of the Big Pineapple.
Despite questions from the Ponga camp, Bennett assured that the photos were either of Redcliffe or within a short drive. He forgot to mention that the “short drive” was along the Bruce Highway – the single most useless piece of shit road in South East Queensland.
WALKER BROTHERS WANTS COMMISSION ON THE SHORT KICK OFFS. OR THE NRL GIG THEY DESERVE.
An interesting on field trend seen in Round Four this weekend was the increase in the number of short drop outs from teams. This is nothing new of course, as it was a tactice used by brothers Ben and Shane Walker during their time in charge of the State Championship winners Ipswich Jets.
Along with short drop outs, short kick offs (especially the worm burner special from Marmin Barba that was a low hard kick smashed at the player standing on the sideline around the 40 metre line), side to side weaving, and so much more.
Despite winning the Intrust Super Cup and State Championship with Ipswich, no NRL team would give risk them. Underperforming teams preferring to go with tried and trusted underperforming head coaches and the results matching the investment.
So the Wooden Spooners have unconfirmed reports that the Walker have watched this weekend with a mixture of pride at their work being copied and a little resentment for being overlooked.
Happily, there has never been so many underperforming teams in the NRL compared with a vacuum of potential replacement coaches. So they might get a gig after all.
The Wooden Spooners can only hope.
SPORTSBET TO OPEN UP NEW MARKET ON NUMBER OF REPORTS ON THOMAS FLEGLER
Sportsbet are an innovative bunch if nothing else.
With Tom Flegler looking hellbent on being the competition’s most penalised (and thickest) NRL player, Sportsbet are going to offer special markets on all of the remaining Broncos games involving Flegler.
Once he returns from another suspension they will have what they are calling the “Flogler Special” where punters can bet on how many times he will go on report.
SOCIALS OF THE WEEK
Our social media clip of the week comes from a chuckle worthy description of Thursday night’s game between the Titans and Tigers.
The second is from a Simpsons Related NRL Memes Facebook Page which is a must for those who love NRL, Simpsons and a laugh.
THE SHANE FLANAGAN NEW COACHING GIG-O-METER
With Shane Flanagan returning to the commentary box for Fox League in 2022, we can continue to expect subtle digs at teams who are struggling and that he can see a possible way in for. Or anyone who may be competition or ahead of his son Kyle Flanagan.
So each week as part of the Wooden Spooner’s NRL Headline, we’ll bring you the New Coaching Gig-O-Meter. This features which teams are hot for a new coach, or a team that was and is going cool.
It’s all about the Tigers we feel right now. Michael Maguire can’t have too many games left in him at the current rate, so “Flanno” only has a couple more episodes on Fox League to state his case and whiteant a bit more.
Let’s see which game he commentates on this weekend.
