Rio 2016 Review – Lessons from the Five Ringed Circus

With the big show over it’s time for a Rio 2016 review to go through what we have learned from the last few weeks.

Who were the winners and losers. What was good, great, bad and ugly. How many events are in a Pentathlon. Is the closing ceremony sport’s biggest waste of money.

Most of those questions will be answered below by us, the rest by someone else.

• It is easy to criticise the Rio 2016 coverage, and we will. Later. But there’s a lot to be said for the improvement on the Channel 9 coverage. First of all – when it worked, the Olympics App was a welcome addition. Giving the punters their chance to decide what they felt like watching. To a degree. Except for the ads every time you wanted to switch channels.
• The three channels also worked, when there was something on. No point paying shitloads for the Olympics and having multiple channels and action on just one of them. The only losers were Escape to the Country fans, who can go back and dream of a cottage in Kent from this week on.
• Channel Seven also used professional commentators, and knowledgable co-commentators. Phil Liggett for Cycling, Gurgler favourite and winner of our Best Australian Forgotten Olympian Loudy Wiggins in Diving, Brenton Speed, David Christison , and of course Bruce McAvaney. No one does athletics better than Bruce. There was no crowbarring of network personalities into the actual sports commentary like the awful James Bradshaw and Michael Slater dross wheeled out by Nine last time. No one like Slats at his sport of choice, so who on earth would want to hear him talk about diving. Probably just Slats.
• Then there’s the ads…..Zumbo’s 800 Word Music Quiz Plane Crash X Factor Show Extravaganza. We got it after day two, and hated those programs with a passion after four days. The only point of interest is how long the Music Quiz show will last. 3 episodes before it is replaced by something making you something out loud. Maybe it could be one of the new post Olympic shows being served up by our Gurglervision Post Olympic lineup.
• Australians are better at being the underdogs. Fact. You could argue that just 3 of our 8 Gold medals came from athletes who could be classed as a favourite or expected by many to win. Chalmers was $51 at the beginning of the Rio 2016 games. Others even more obscure as their sport are lesser known.
• Many of the raging hot favourites disappointed. Especially in the pool. Mayne AOC might have to concentrate on other sports as a winning avenue, rather than the pool and sorting out fake IDs for Australian athletes to be arrested for.
• Chloe Esposito has put Modern Pentathlon back on the map. Like the 1000’s of kids across Australia who took up weight lifting following Dean Lukin’s amazing gold in 1984, Modern Pentathlon junior ranks for this summer’s season will swell with 1000’s of kids looking to be the new Esposito.
• On the subject of Modern Pentathlon, rumours were that Wikipedia had a Census like crash on Saturday morning as millions of Australians logged on to work out what the Modern Pentathlon is, and what the five events are. Good to know now that 12% of Australian’s now know that it is five separate events. 1% can tell you three of the five. Progress.
• If you plan to be a jerk and blame Rio thieves, ensure there’s no CCTV of you being a jerk. Sure it’s easy to use the thieving Rio stereotype, but it’s a pretty low act to sink the boot into the locals to cover up for alleged Service Station antics.
• If you need tickets to an Rio 2016 event, contact your nearest Irish Olympic official. If you need a pass for another Rio 2016 event, see an Australian official.
• Only 2 people won a Gold Medal in the 4 x 100m swimming. According to the press. As we pointed out earlier, have two gold medallists been forgotten so quickly?
• Team GB coming second is a good thing. Given some the controversies surrounding Chinese and Russian teams, it’s good to see a nation like GB coming second. Maybe Australia could take some tips of them so they don’t pants us in the Commonwealth Games on the Gold Coast in a few years time.
• Holding tipping comps or betting on the Olympics helps you enjoy the Olympics. Especially events that you don’t usually care about.
• The Olympics will probably never go to South America again.
• Hopefully the Olympics come to Brisbane. Since all levels of Government are crying poor, what better way to get some infrastructure than an Olympics.
• It’s all good and well being the face of a drink company for the Olympics due to some pre race routine. Given how much most non elite athletes get who could blame them for looking for other income alternatives. However, in ten years time, Wikipedia, or its new commercially linked site will have the medallists and possibly the finalists of Olympic events. It will more than likely not have who was the commercial rights drinks face of the games. Lucozade at least waited for Martin Vinnicombe to win a mmmmmedal before becoming the face and wheels of their beverage.
• Finally, Roy and HG’s podcast was pure gold and the best part of the Olympics. The sad thing is we may have to wait four years for another helping. Makes you miss the old Sunday afternoon three hour session.