TYLER JAMES WILLIAMS, QUINTA BRUNSON, LISA ANN WALTER, SHERYL LEE RALPH, CHRIS PERFETTI
ABBOTT ELEMENTARY - "Team Building" - The teachers prepare for the upcoming school year with new faces and big changes on the horizon. WEDNESDAY, OCT. 1 (8:30-9:02 p.m. EDT) on ABC. (Disney/Gilles Mingasson) TYLER JAMES WILLIAMS, QUINTA BRUNSON, LISA ANN WALTER, SHERYL LEE RALPH, CHRIS PERFETTI (Photo by Gilles Mingasson/Disney via Getty Images)
The manager of an electricity company call centre has come up with an unusual team-building exercise.
Peter Jensen, who manages the Power4U call centre, has invited his staff to his home to put together furniture.
The 10 staff members will spend all day Saturday assembling three large bookshelves and a TV unit. After that’s done, staff will be treated to a pizza dinner followed by an optional ten-pin bowling night out.
“This day is designed to test my team members’ patience, ability to work as a team, composure under pressure, and weed out of the alpha leaders from the beta followers,” said Jensen. “Staying for the pizza is mandatory, because everyone needs to eat, but I made the night out optional as some people might be too tired to go and we need them bright and alert for Monday morning.”
Though reactions to the day have been mixed.
“I can’t wait!” said Adam, who started at the centre three months ago. “I used to be a furniture removalist to get through uni, so this will be a piece of p**s!”
“This is absolute nonsense!” said Scott, who has been working there for five years and is actively looking for new employment. “Peter’s only been here a year, so he’s still idealistic and thinks we actually care about this when we spend all day on the f*****g phone getting yelled at by strangers! He probably just wants us to build his crap so he doesn’t have to do it himself. I’ll tag along, maybe hand out a few bits of wood, wolf down the pizza, and get the hell out of there!”
A new social media app is preparing to take over the internet.
NoiseCam is dedicated to the loudest, most extroverted, wildest, and most outrageous content creators across the world.
NoiseCam‘s creator Dennis Valletta promises the new app will make, “TikTok look like Sunday morning church!”
“This channel is for the supreme creators! We’re not just taking anyone! People have to apply with their five most popular social media videos and a 200-word statement about why they deserve to be on NoiseCam.”
NoiseCam promises to offer as much noise as possible, with demo videos featuring loud background music, a slightly tinny volume control, lots of sound effects, and pop culture clips, and the creators being as loud they can – including uncontrollable ‘Muttley laughs’ when they find something funny.
“And we don’t care if people find it annoying,” said Dennis. “By all means rant and rave on Facebook or whatever about how much you hate it! It gets our name out and there’s no such thing as bad publicity.”
Sarah (from Los Angeles) is applying for NoiseCam and believes she’ll be perfect for it. “I’m all over TikTok, Insta, X, YouTube already. I was always the loudest and most extroverted person at school and in my friendship groups. I’ll do anything to entertain people and distract them from their pathetic little lives for for a few minutes. I’ve been trying to make it as an actor, and my scene recreation sketches are fantastic, so hopefully NoiseCam will give me the recognition I deserve. I might even get in a Marvel movie?”
While the NRL world is preparing for the start of the 2026 season in Las Vegas, one club is still celebrating a premiership victory.
Five days after winning the Pre-Season Challenge, Parramatta’s celebrations are finally winding down.
“Mate, it’s been a crazy week!” said one anonymous Eels player. “The boys cracked open the champagne as soon as the Titans-Storm game was done and we’ve kept going ever since! It was a tough campaign for the boys: we got the two big wins and had a nervous wait as the Titans tried to chase us down.”
Peter Hart, who hosts the Eels fan podcast Parramatta DOES Matta!, arranged an emergency podcast on Sunday morning to celebrate the premiership.
“The two hour episode covered the two wins, the genius of the Pre-Season Challenge concept, and why this is just as important as our last premiership in 1986! And the NRL can’t take this one away like they did with the Nines trophy! The Broncos used last year’s Pre-Season Challenge win as a springboard to a premiership, so I believe our boys can do the same this year!”
The club held a fan day at CommBank Stadium on Monday afternoon, with fans receiving a free showbag with a DVD (full replays of their Pre-Season Challenge wins over Cronulla-Sutherland and the Sydney Roosters), a ‘Pre-Season Challenge 2026 Champions’ t-shirt, cap, and water bottle.
“The boys were a bit dusty on Monday, but we turned up for our fans. They deserve to celebrate this milestone premiership,” said another anonymous player.
And Parramatta has big plans for the $100,000.
“We’re gonna renovate our trophy cabinet so we can put the Pre-Season Challenge trophy in there. The old one’s a bit dusty,” said one anonymous staff member.
More expendable than a manager, in danger of being sent out on loan or sold to Spurs, on the verge of suspension due to excessive yellow cards, playing in a formation that was unfashionable and illegal 60 years ago, but somehow still getting the full support of the Chairman, it’s our 2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 28.
Each gameweek in this 2025-26 Premier League season we offer up a stat filled prediction preview, with some barely interesting stats and visuals, just enough to bluff your way through various tipping competitions or betting shops.
Barely Interesting Stats – 2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 28 – Stats and Thoughts
Help yourself to a buffet of barely interesting stats, quick one liners and more to help pick a winner.
BEST OF WEEK 28 STATS
Wolves are W6 D1 L1 from their last eight home games v Aston Villa.
Bournemouth are winless v promoted sides this season (D2 L1).
Liverpool have won their last eight games at home to West Ham.
Arsenal W6 D2 are the only team unbeaten v London clubs this season.
2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 28
FRIDAY 8PM – WOLVES v ASTON VILLA
Stats: Wolves are W6 D1 L1 from their last eight home games v Aston Villa. Aston Villa top the points per game vs current bottom six team and their W6 D1 record is one of just five teams not to lose to the current bottom six. Not surprising that Wolves are winless vs current top six with a D2 L8 record. Also not surprising that the bottom three teams in the relegation zone are the only three teams not to win a game vs current top six.
Verdict: Could be the last one of these for a while.
Prediction: Wolves 1 Aston Villa 1
SATURDAY 12:30PM – BOURNEMOUTH v SUNDERLAND
Stats: Sunderland don’t seem to mind the near 400 mile journey to Bournemouth, in five games there the record is W4 L1. Sunderland (D4 L2) are yet to beat a current middle eight team away from home. Bournemouth are W3 D1 L1 at home to current middle eight teams.
Verdict: Sounds more like a League One clash from a decade ago than a midfield Premier League clash.
Prediction: Bournemouth 2 Sunderland 0
SATURDAY 3PM – LIVERPOOL v WEST HAM
Stats: Liverpool have lost just one of their last 19 games v West Ham (W15 D3 L1). Liverpool have won their last eight games at home to West Ham. Liverpool have only lost four games at home to West Ham ever from 77 games (53 wins). Liverpool are W5 D3 L1 v current bottom six clubs, but their home form v bottom six is an underwhelming W1 D2 L1. West Ham are D2 L6 to current top six sides.
Verdict: A game on form and history Liverpool shouldn’t lose.
Prediction: Liverpool 1 West Ham 1
SATURDAY 3PM – NEWCASTLE v EVERTON
Stats: Everton have scored at least one goal in 13 of the last 14 games v Newcastle at Newcastle. Everton have the superior record v fellow middle eight teams – W5 D2 L3 vs Newcastle’s W3 D1 L4. Everton (W2 D2) are unbeaten away to middle eight teams.
Verdict: Probably not a game for the neutral.
Prediction: Newcastle 1 Everton 1
SATURDAY 3PM – BURNLEY v BRENTFORD
Stats: Burnley have a decent record at home to Brentford. They have won the last three at home, unbeaten in the last five (W3 D2), and going back to 1960 have lost just once in the last 14 home games v Brentford (eight wins). Burnley haven’t won at home since GW8, the longest current run of home disappointment. Brentford are W3 D2 L3 v current bottom six clubs.
Verdict: The Saturday 3pm special.
Prediction: Burnley 0 Brentford 2
SATURDAY 5:30PM – LEEDS v MANCHESTER CITY
Stats: Man City have won their last five games v Leeds. Man City are W6 D1 L1 v current bottom six clubs and are W4 L1 at home. If you use table position at the time of fixture, Leeds have played more top six clubs this season than any other team. Their record is a decent W2 D6 L5. Against current top six clubs Leeds are W1 D5 L4.
Verdict: A super interesting game for both ends of the table.
Prediction: Leeds 1 Man City 1
SUNDAY 2PM – BRIGHTON v NOTTINGHAM FOREST
Stats: Brighton are unbeaten in their last five home games v Nottingham Forest (W3 D2). Brighton are unbeaten on a Sunday Forest anywhere (W2 D1). Nottingham Forest have a better points per game on a Sunday (1.27) than overall (1.00), Brighton’s Sunday record is close to their overall (1.29 PPG v 1.26). Brighton (W3 D4) are one of five teams yet to lose to a current bottom six team, two are from the South Coast.
Verdict: Brighton threatened to make relegation very interesting before winning last time out. Who knows if Forest lose they might sack another manager. The wins to sacked manager ratio is close.
Prediction: Brighton 3 Nottingham Forest 0
SUNDAY 2PM – MANCHESTER UNITED v CRYSTAL PALACE
Stats: Crystal Palace have beaten Man Utd to nil in their last two trips to Manchester. Man Utd are currently 10 games without a loss, the current longest unbeaten streak. They are also top of the last six form. No team has played more Sunday games this season than Crystal Palace and their record is W4 D4 L7 and W3 D2 L3 away.
Verdict: Crystal Palace seem to have gotten over their potential relegation wobble, meanwhile Man Utd keep under the top three radar.
Prediction: Man Utd 3 Crystal Palace 1
SUNDAY 2PM – FULHAM v TOTTENHAM
Stats: Fulham are unbeaten in their last four games v Spurs (W3 D1). Fulham have won the last two games at Fulham by 2-0 and 3-0. Fulham have an excellent W6 L1 record v current bottom six team this season.
Record v London clubs this season:
Fulham – All W4 D1 L3 Home W2 L2
Spurs – All W3 D1 L5 Away W2 D1 L1
Verdict: It could be worse for Spurs, but not by much. Lose here and they might find out.
Prediction: Fulham 2 Spurs 1
SUNDAY 4:30PM – ARSENAL v CHELSEA
Stats: Arsenal W6 D2 are the only team unbeaten v London clubs this season. But Arsenal do have an underwhelming record v current top six sides this season – W2 D3 L3. It’s better than Chelsea’s away record v current top six sides – D1 L1.
Record v London clubs this season:
Arsenal – All W6 D2 Home W4
Chelsea – All W6 D3 L1 Away W3 D1 L1
Record v Top Six clubs this season:
Arsenal – All W2 D3 L3 Home W1 D2 L1
Chelsea – All W1 D2 L2 Away D1 L1.
Verdict: The weekend’s premium clash where Chelsea and their fans will gladly spoil the Arsenal party.
Prediction: Arsenal 3 Chelsea 1
2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 28
And here are all the tips together in one place for your convenience.
Wolves 1 Aston Villa 1
Bournemouth 2 Sunderland 0
Liverpool 1 West Ham 1
Newcastle 1 Everton 1
Burnley 0 Brentford 2
Leeds 1 Man City 1
Brighton 3 Nottingham Forest 0
Man Utd 3 Crystal Palace 1
Fulham 2 Spurs 1
Arsenal 3 Chelsea 1
2025-26 Premier League Season Stats
Each week we’ll bring you some of the choicest cuts of stats we have created from our Data super computer called Jeff.
Been too distracted by the bright lights of Las Vegas or the many Elvis impersonators? Do you need some last-minute NRL tipping advice? Or simply want something else to blame when the tips go wrong? Either way, saddle up for The Gurgler’s 2026 NRL Round 1 Ratings and Late Mail.
In a new additional to our stable of NRL stats and tipping products, we have used all the stats we have, smashed them against each other like atoms, and come up with a H2H rating.
It includes this year’s form with a bias because it is this year, but we don’t forget historic stats of the H2H against this week’s opponents, and the ground and day the teams are playing on, plus their record v top and lower half teams.
Then slice up the scores out of 100% between the two sides. The bigger the percentage, the more likely to win.
2026 NRL Round 1 Ratings
Here are the H2H ratings and winners for the second last weekend of the regular season.
2026 NRL Round 1 Earlyish Mail
Normally this is our late mail, but with the gams not until Sunday morning Australian time, the mail is kind of early.
SAT – NEWCASTLE v NORTH QUEENSLAND
Kalyn Ponga is in for the Newcastle Knights, which is usually a good thing, although having missed a chunk of the end of last season, who knows if it is. Having spent $13M on one player for the next decade, Dylan Brown was always going to be selected in the run-on team, no even Newcastle are that silly, but the question is who would be his partner in crime. Roosters recruit Sandon Smith or Fletcher Sharpe. It is Sharpe who gets the gig, with Smith on the bench, which is probably not what he was hoping for after moving away from DCE and the Roosters. At their best the Knights three quarter line could do some damage, so maybe Newcastle don’t look as busted arse as usual. Although their forwards look like they’ll get the Heart Foundation tick of approval for leanness after losing a few key forward in the off season.
The halves were also a dilemma for the Cowboys with Jake Clifford getting the nod at five eighth, but Jaxon Purdue is good enough to cover Zac Laybutt’s absence in the centres. New recruit Reed Mahoney lines up at hooker for the Cowboys and will prove to be one of the buys of the season.
As for stats the Cowboys have won five straight v Newcastle but worth noting that five of those games were in Townsville. Luckily this game is in Las Vegas, as Newcastle usually have a poor record v Queensland sides away from home. Newcastle were W1 L2 v Qld teams away last season. Which is better than their run of 19 straight losses between June 2015 and June 2023. If you exclude the Dolphins it’s even worse. North Queensland have won one of their last four Round 1 fixtures v non Qld teams.
SAT – BULLDOGS v ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA
After the usual obsession, and potential injury scares, Matt Burton and Lachlan Galvin line up in the halves for the Bulldogs in Las Vegas. Matt Burton looked no hope of playing when went off injured in the pre-season, but will start now. If he somehow doesn’t make it, Sean O’Sullivan can cover, but is likely to fill his similar role at Redcliffe as a warmer of benches. The forward pack looks as good as last year, which is a shame for the Bulldogs as it means new recruit Leo Thompson won’t be joining in for a while due to injury.
As for stats, the Bulldogs have a great recent record v Dragons. Bulldogs have won five straight v St George Illawarra and the Bulldogs have won nine of the last ten games v Dragons on a Saturday. Saturdays are good for the Bulldogs in general as they were 6/7 on a Saturday last season. St George Illawarra were W4 L10 on a Saturday in 2025. St George Illawarra were W2 L10 away from home last season, with a run of seven straight losses to end the season. Bulldogs won six of their first seven away games in 2025, then lost five of the last six away. Not forgetting that in 2023 the Dragons won no away games, and the overall record going back to 2023 is seven wins from 36 games.
Other 2026 NRL Round 1 Preview Stuff
Here’s the best of our wrap ups of last weekend and look forward to this weekend.
Angrier than a room full of Fox League writers, ducking for cover like a Melbourne Storm Assistant Coach, with a better Round 1 record than Craig Bellamy, trying his best to not lash out at kids at NRL games while wondering what he’s done wrong not to be a current NRL mascot, playing out of position for the good of the team, and getting the full support of the board, it’s time for the first weekly Rugby League rant from The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey for the new season. The NRL Donkey provides his NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 1 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
The NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 1 Weekly Rant
So here we are again, another season of NRL to follow, enjoy and moan about. And I can’t wait to do all three, as part of my exclusive deal with The Gurgler website. And when I say exclusive it doesn’t mean there was a bidding war, it means there’s really no room for a bitter and twisted sports following donkey in mainstream media and that this website is the only one who’d take a chance. Low standards for sure, much like the rest of their work. And similar to a couple of clubs offerings in the Pre Season Cup. More on that later.
Talking of more, I’ve already done a season previews and rant, with added commentary on what most clubs are offering heading into 2026, for some it isn’t much. But you can follow it via the link below. Or not, your loss.
Talking of less, Buzz Rothfield has retired thank god, but that comes with a price. No, not the cost of buying one of the awful, terrible newspapers he used to write for, but his retirement means I have moved up a notch for angry, bitter and twisted rugby league opinion writers.
Despite the excitement of the first week of the NRL, there’s always a little bit of a hollow feeling given that it’s only two games. Yeah sure, it’s in Las Vegas, and yeah they’re going to shove as much Las Vegas stuff in our faces to show you how great the NRL is in Las Vegas, and maybe it is, I’d like to go one year for sure and find another donkey to quickly get married by the most unconvincing Elvis impersonator in the northern hemisphere, but not this year, have a look at the games on offer.
Lucky this isn’t the first time going to Las Vegas as they certainly haven’t provided the neutral or potential new fans with the best offering. Unlike Colin Best, who is always the best offering.
To include Newcastle, last year’s wooden spooners feels underwhelming at best. Yes they have to decide these things well in advance, and they have to share it around with all the clubs, but who south of Hornsby and north of South West Rocks wants to see Newcastle play. Maybe the people in the pub with no beer which is in country NSW somewhere not that far away. Pubs without beer doesn’t sound very fun. The alcohol eases the pain of staring at the Tipping Point on three of the four TVs in the pub in the afternoon after work, or helps drown out the woeful singing of Friday night’s entertainment second and worse rendition of a Shania Twain song, or washes down the Seafood Basket which is truly terrible with some of those generic seafood bites that look like urinal cakes. So maybe the patrons of the pub with no beer are interested in these games more.
Some could say they have Kalyn Ponga to excite us, but he’s hardly been good recently and he seems to hate either rugby league, Newcastle, or rugby league in Newcastle more than anyone. But less than the media in Perth seem to hate rugby league.
An idea from our resident Football draw expert Frankington Stanley is that the team who comes last the previous season is the team who gets the bye in the opening round the following season. So that means that even if you have been pre-selected to go to Vegas, your trip is cancelled if you finish last and spot given to another team. This would ensure the worst team from the previous season doesn’t play in Las Vegas, and could also liven up the end of season where instead of a theoretical punishment of an imaginary wooden spoon, the team that comes last gets a genuine punishment. Ticking a lot of boxes. Just maybe don’t tell Peter V’landys until after this year’s event, as that guy is so keen to make changes on the fly he’d be likely to send Newcastle back home now if he thought it was a good idea.
North Queensland aren’t a bad side to have playing in Vegas. They play some attacking rugby league and their nickname won’t require too much translating. Not that the other teams this year are that bad, Americans aren’t surely that stupid to know what a Knight, Dragons and Bulldog is. You might have to explain that Arnold Schwarzenneger wasn’t the president of the country where these teams came from, and that rugby league isn’t rugby union (but Victorians can’t get that one either so not holding out much hope), but they should get those nicknames. If there’s any seat left for Americans after the mogans take up all the tickets.
The bonus of North Queensland is even if they aren’t playing well, they play bad enough for the other side to look good, and there’s the constant crosses to their coach under pressure, which we presume Americans would love.
The other game is a Channel Nein special. Late Sunday afternoon (Australian time) two Sydney teams, both reasonably dull, not a classic that people would change their wedding plans for.
The kind of game that Channel Nein have been shoving down our throats for a few decades, and one of the reasons I have been lighting candles in my stable to the gods of rugby league (Sportsbet) to beg that Channel Nein lose the TV rights to NRL. Sure Channel Seven won’t do a better job, but it’ll be a different kind of terrible. Just not Channel Nein bad. They can then save their money into recruiting more awful, awful people for MAFS, getting a second machine for the Tipping Point show, and attempting new content like the Stefanovic Brother Friday Night Variety Hour show and more “Social Experiment” crossovers. Like contestants from The Block build a house for MAFS people to ruin. As long as they build it way too big in a place where it won’t sell. Without the NRL to pay for Channel Nein could make The Block wherever they like and it doesn’t matter if they sell. Gympie would be the funniest location.
But if you close your eyes and think back on those Sunday afternoon games, from the era before Fox League were allowed to show it, you can picture Gus Gould and Ray Warren doing the old ladies arguing on a bus about why their ridiculous reason for not having Daylight Savings in Queensland is the better idea. The old “My curtains/lounge chairs will fade with the extra hour of sunlight” versus “Does anyone think of how the Bus Timetables would be affected.” Interspersed with “How Great is Sunday afternoon football”. Well, not great if it is Parramatta’s 50th game on a Sunday for the season.
Thankfully Fox League has shown the Sunday afternoon games in recent years, which means less Gus Gould, which is always a good thing, but Channel Nein still tell them who is playing. Hopefully not for long. Although after the Winter Olympics, maybe they could get Danika Mason or any other presenter on the sauce before the game to make them more interesting. Just not Mat Thompson, he yells enough already, and I’m concerned he could be an angry drunk, who aren’t fun. Fatty Vautin would be a fun drunk I reckon, because he’s a fun guy. Perhaps Channel Nein could offer up an alternative “sauced” coverage and ensure Fatty is involved. I’m sure it would be popular.
So no offence to the Bulldogs or Dragons, and regardless of whether I’m excited about it, I’ll still be watching, because any rugby league is always better than no rugby league. Although no rugby league is sometimes better than Channel Nein rugby league.
Talking of no, nein and everything in between, here are the expert tips for the Las Vegas edition of NRL Round 1. I’ve been told I’m getting paid in full despite only being two games, so I’ll do my best.
The NRL Donkey’s 2026 NRL Round 1 Expert Tips
SUN – NEWCASTLE v NORTH QUEENSLAND
I can’t see how a team that came last in 2025 and scored zero points in their most recent trial game are going to be any better half a world away. Especially one that has such a terrible away record vs Queensland teams, that’s only a few thousand kilometres. The Cowboys scored 100 points in their two trial games, but they were playing inferior opposition. Much like this weekend.
North Queensland by 22
SUN – BULLDOGS v ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA
Hopefully a new year means less Lachlan Galvin, but it probably won’t. They’ll be endless chat on what his best position will be, and who he moves and bla bla bla. At least Buzz isn’t around to crank that up to 11 anymore. He did seem to hate Gus a lot, which is funny. But in fairness both teams have halves that get way too much attention. Kyle Flanagan is the Lance Stroll of rugby league. Both have their fathers to thank for their elevated position within their sport, both won’t win World Championships, but Kyle Flanagan might be a better chance of getting out of a Brazilian gravel trap, although that is currently untested. This game will be a battle about who Fox League will cream their pants about more – Lachlan Galvin or Dragons coach Shane Flanagan. Neither are interesting, nor is this game.
Bulldogs by 14
READ MORE: THE GURGLER’S FULL NRL 2026 GEAR
We’ve been working hard for you to bring you the 2026 NRL Season Previews from every angle and angel possible. But never Jo Angel.
The NRL finally returns for 2026, and in the biggest gambling location on earth. No, we’re not talking about the Rooty Hill RSL, as good as that place is and even though it is also known as the Vegas of the West, it doesn’t have giant spheres, nor big name musical acts and not tributes, and mile long strips, and this weekend’s opening NRL fixtures. Talking of gambling, our 2026 NRL Round 1 Tips Predictions & Stats Preview is a sure bet for NRL fans who need and want NRL stats. With no added Slats.
Each week this season we will offer up a quick preview glance for each match, throw in a bunch of barely interesting stats, and mix in a pinch of opinion, plus throw in our weekly predictions like chicken salt on hot chips and you have something that seagulls and humans will fight over.
2026 NRL Round 1 Tips
Here are our tips for the week ahead. How did we get to here? By going through all the visuals and stats below.
Our famed barely interesting stats all in the one place for you convenience and arguments.
Note: the game in the US is on a Saturday, so we have stat-ed accordingly.
GAME 1 – NEWCASTLE v NORTH QUEENSLAND
The Cowboys have won five straight v Newcastle. All five of those games were in Townsville.
The home side (either side) has won the last 13 games in a row with a last loss in 2015.
Newcastle’s neutral ground record since 1998 is a 46% win rate. North Queensland’s is 37%.
Newcastle were W1 L2 v Qld teams away last season. Which is better than their run of 19 straight losses between June 2015 and June 2023.
North Queensland have won one of their last four Round 1 fixtures v non Qld teams.
North Queensland were W4 D1 L8 on a Saturday last season, and ten of those games were at home. They also lost their last four Saturday games to finish the season. Newcastle were W3 L3 on a Saturday last season, with a record of W3 L1 away.
North Queensland were W8 D1 L2 v lower half teams (at time of fixture) last season. Newcastle were W6 L4 v lower half. Not that both of these teams can’t rise to the upper half this season.
GAME 2 – BULLDOGS v ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA
These two teams played each other in Round last season, and the Bulldogs won 28-20.
Bulldogs have won five straight v St George Illawarra.
Bulldogs have won nine of the last ten games v Dragons on a Saturday.
Bulldogs were 6/7 on a Saturday last season. St George Illawarra were W4 L10 on a Saturday in 2025.
St George Illawarra were W2 L10 away from home last season, with a run of seven straight losses to end the season. Bulldogs won six of their first seven away games in 2025, then lost five of the last six away.
Bulldogs were W12 L2 v lower half teams (at time of fixture) in 2025. Not saying that Dragons will be lower half, but still.
Bonus Las Vegas Stats
A few choice cuts of stats from previous season of Las Vegas Round 1 action.
Every team that has won their Las Vegas match have gone on to make the finals.
In 2024 both losing teams failed to make the finals, while last season both losing teams still made the finals.
There’s no definitive form line after Vegas games, but the below table has captured the next six games after arriving home.
Team
Year
Las Vegas Result
Next Game
Next 6 PPG
W
L
D
Manly
2024
W
W
1.17
3
2
1
Souths
2024
L
L
0.33
1
5
0
Roosters
2024
W
L
0.67
2
4
0
Bronx
2024
L
W
1.33
4
2
0
Canberra
2025
W
W
1.33
4
2
0
Warriors
2025
L
W
1.67
5
1
0
Penrith
2025
W
L
0.33
1
5
0
Cronulla
2025
L
W
1.33
4
2
0
Bonus Round 1 Stats
Some key stats ahead of the first two games of the NRL season.
Both Newcastle and the Bulldogs won their Round 1 games last season, both of them away too. Which technically these games are.
READ MORE: THE GURGLER’S FULL NRL 2026 GEAR
We’ve been working hard for you to bring you the 2026 NRL Season Previews from every angle and angel possible. But never Jo Angel.
More expendable than a manager, in danger of being sent out on loan, on the verge of suspension due to excessive yellow cards, playing in a formation that was unfashionable and illegal 60 years ago, but somehow still getting the full support of the Chairman, it’s our 2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 27.
Each gameweek in this 2025-26 Premier League season we offer up a stat filled prediction preview, with some barely interesting stats and visuals, just enough to bluff your way through various tipping competitions or betting shops.
Barely Interesting Stats – 2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 27 – Stats and Thoughts
Help yourself to a buffet of barely interesting stats, quick one liners and more to help pick a winner.
BEST OF WEEK 27 STATS
Newcastle last beat Man City in Manchester in a league game in 2000.
Chelsea are unbeaten in 12 games v Burnley in the league (W9 D3). But have only won two of their last six home games v Burnley. (W2 D3 L1).
The last five games between West Ham and Bournemouth have ended in a draw.
Sunderland have a record of W7 D2 at home to sides outside of the current top six. Arsenal are the only other team to been unbeaten in the same scenario.
2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 27
SATURDAY 3PM – ASTON VILLA v LEEDS
Stats: Aston Villa are unbeaten in their last six v Leeds (W4 D2). But they have won only once in their last four home games v Leeds (W1 D1 L2). Leeds are W1 D4 L4 v current top six sides. Aston Villa are W2 D1 v promoted teams. Leeds are only W1 D5 L7 away from home this season with their only win coming in their third away trip of the season.. Aston Villa are W9 D1 L3 at home.
Verdict: Could be massively entertaining.
Prediction: Aston Villa 2 Leeds 0
SATURDAY 3PM – BRENTFORD v BRIGHTON
Stats: Brighton are W1 D2 L2 away to London clubs this season. Brentford are W5 D1 at home this season on a Saturday.
Verdict: It’s your Saturday 3pm special. Not even the stats are interested in this one.
Prediction: Brentford 2 Brighton 1
SATURDAY 3PM – CHELSEA v BURNLEY
Stats: Chelsea are unbeaten in 12 games v Burnley in the league (W9 D3). But have only won two of their last six home games v Burnley. (W2 D3 L1). Chelsea are W1 D1 L2 v promoted sides this season. Chelsea are W7 D1 L1 v current bottom six sides. Burnley are winless (D2 L6) to current top six sides.
Verdict: Would be so Chelsea to not win here. Burnley won last start, just enough to save them from hiring the now-available Sean Dyche.
Prediction: Chelsea 4 Burnley 0
SATURDAY 5:30PM – WEST HAM v BOURNEMOUTH
Stats: The last five games between West Ham and Bournemouth have ended in a draw. It’s three wins to West Ham before that, so Bournemouth haven’t beaten West Ham since 2019. West Ham have never beaten Bournemouth on a Saturday in ten attempts (D6 L4). Bournemouth are W1 D2 L1 away to London clubs this season. Bournemouth are 3rd on the table for this calendar year, West Ham are 9th.
Verdict: Thank goodness for West Ham livening up the season at the bottom of the table.
Prediction: West Ham 1 Bournemouth 1
SATURDAY 8PM – MANCHESTER CITY v NEWCASTLE
Stats: Newcastle last beat Man City in Manchester in a league game in 2000. It has been D2 L19 since. And for a combined total of eight goals scored and 59 goals conceded. It’s been 11 wins in a row at home v Newcastle. Newcastle haven’t scored a goal at a Manchester City home game in the league since 2018, seven games ago. Problem is they conceded 19 goals as well. Newcastle are W1 D3 L4 v the current top six sides. Newcastle are W2 D2 L4 v big six clubs this season. If you still count Spurs as a big six.
Verdict: Newcastle have one of the genuinely bad records at Manchester City.
Prediction: Manchester City 3 Newcastle 0
SUNDAY 2PM – NOTTINGHAM FOREST v LIVERPOOL
Stats: Liverpool have failed to beat Nottingham Forest in their last three games (D1 L2). Liverpool have a poor record at Nottingham Forest over the recent past. Whilst they have won two of the past four games there, going back to 1985 their record is W2 D8 L6. Liverpool are W3 D1 away to the current bottom six sides. Nottingham Forest are D2 L2 at home to the current top six sides. Nottingham Foresrt have one of the better points-per-game at home on a Sunday this season with their W3 D1 L2 record.
Verdict: Almost as many wins as managers this season for Forest.
Prediction: Nottingham Forest 0 Liverpool 2
SUNDAY 2PM – SUNDERLAND v FULHAM
Stats: Sunderland have a record of W7 D2 at home to sides outside of the current top six. Arsenal are the only other team to been unbeaten in the same scenario. Fulham’s away record against sides outside of London is pretty poor – W1 D1 L7.
Verdict: Sunderland’s home form is magnificent really for a promoted club. Sunderland have already won one more game at home this season than the three promoted teams combined did in a full season last year.
Prediction: Sunderland 1 Fulham 0
SUNDAY 2PM – CRYSTAL PALACE v WOLVES
Stats: Crystal Palace have lost only one of their last ten games v Wolves (W8 D1 L1). Crystal Palace have won five in a row at home v Wolves. Only Wolves (D1 L3) and Leeds (D2 L2) have failed to win away to a London club. Crystal Palace’s record v current bottom six teams is pretty poor – W3 D2 L3.
Verdict: Good enough for a draw at Arsenal, Wolves will have to overcome the guy who scored nothing for them, but easily found the net for his new club.
Prediction: Crystal Palace 2 Wolves 0
SUNDAY 4:30PM – TOTTENHAM v ARSENAL
Stats: Arsenal unbeaten in their last seven games v Tottenham (W6 D1). Arsenal have won the last three clashes at Tottenham. Arsenal’s record v bottom six sides this season is W7 D1. Spurs’ record v top six sides this season is W1 D2 L5. The home record for Spurs v top six sides is slightly worse at D2 L3.
Verdict: This weekend’s premium clash, so many narratives, local rivals who could either hurt title chances or push the other team closer to relegation. They’ll be so much hate.
Prediction: Tottenham 0 Arsenal 1
MONDAY 8PM – EVERTON v MANCHESTER UTD
Stats: Man Utd are unbeaten in their last three games at Everton (W2 D1). Everton’s record at home to the big six is W1 L5.
Verdict: A Monday night special.
Prediction: Everton 0 Man Utd 2
2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 27
And here are all the tips together in one place for your convenience.
Aston Villa 2 Leeds 0
Brentford 2 Brighton 1
Chelsea 4 Burnley 0
West Ham 1 Bournemouth 1
Manchester City 3 Newcastle 0
Nottingham Forest 0 Liverpool 2
Sunderland 1 Fulham 0
Crystal Palace 2 Wolves 0
Tottenham 0 Arsenal 1
Everton 0 Man Utd 2
2025-26 Premier League Season Stats
Each week we’ll bring you some of the choicest cuts of stats we have created from our Data super computer called Jeff.
In something different, the Park Cricketer is peering into a crystal ball to predict the future of Men’s International cricket. Note that this is 100% satire and more than a little cynical.
More T20 Franchise Cricket
The IPL will be extended to six months and will expand to 16 teams, with 15 games each and a top eight finals series. The IPL will be given clear air in the calendar, with no other International cricket, though the PSL will continue during the IPL (as Pakistan players still won’t be allowed to play in the IPL), as well as unofficial T20 leagues in smaller countries.
The Test Tri-Series
The main Test nations will be India, Australia, and England. And they will play an annual tri-series across the three countries.
Each nation will play six Tests (two in each country, including one neutral Test in each leg), with the top two nations playing a one-off six-day Final in the number one’s nations’ country. The Australian leg will be played in December, the England leg in June/July, and the Indian leg in October. The two touring nations have the option of playing warm-up Tests against other nations, though they won’t be counted as official Tests. But the Ashes, Border-Gavaskar Trophy, and Anderson-Tendulkar Trophy will still be awarded to the winners of those series’.
The smaller Test windows will allow for an expanded Big Bash League, The Hundred (which will be a T20 league), and a T10 version of the IPL.
T20Is and ODIs
There will be annual T20 World Cups, with India hosting one every two years (Pakistan will play their World Cup games in a neighbouring area). Bi-lateral T20I internationals will be scrapped, with the exception of pre-World Cup warm-up games.
One-day International cricket will be scrapped (including World Cups and the Champions Trophy).
T10 Cricket
Aside from the T10 IPL, other T10 leagues will continue to be played in the middle of nowhere by has-beens, never-was’, and will be full of “sports betting enthusiasts”. And nobody outside of those tournaments will give a shit unless something funny happens.
The Gurgler presents stories of the Park Cricketer, where we explore the lower reaches of the great game of cricket from the suburban ovals and rural grounds across Australia.
Activists Project Meme Of FCC Chair Brendan Carr The Evening Before His Senate Hearing
WASHINGTON, DC - DECEMBER 16: Activists project a meme of FCC Chair Brendan Carr the evening before his Senate hearing on December 16, 2025 in Washington, DC. (Photo by Leigh Vogel/Getty Images for Project Carr Accountability Rapid Response)
A rugby league content creator is preparing for the new NRL season.
Known only as NRL Meme King (and preferring to remain anonymous), they’ve spent the summer polishing their favourite footy memes for 2026.
“My favourite ones are ‘Owen’, which I usually don’t post until round three, ‘Tag a mate whose team should already be preparing for Bali!’, ‘But it’s only a trial!’, and ‘Rent Free!'” they said. “But my absolute favourite is posting a picture of the NRL ladder with the caption ‘Tag a mate whose team is below yours.’ I know it’s not technically a meme, but it gets everyone fired up in the comments. I like to give my memes a touch up over the break so they don’t get stale. Maybe a new picture or a different font.”
The Meme King started meming three years ago to pass time during work.
“I worked at a bludgy data entry job during Covid and made footy memes to amuse myself. They were popular enough to start the NRL Meme King page on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.”
While some content creators have ambitions to work in footy full time, the Meme King is happy to keep it as a hobby.
“If I really wanted to grow my pages, I’d reveal my identity and start making memes attacking players. I haven’t played a minute of rugby league – but plenty of cricket – so I have no right to make fun of players who play footy professionally. I just wanna make silly memes and watch people banter in the comments.”
Though NRL Meme King chose not to reveal their favourite team, they did mention their favourite team to post memes about.
“The Wests Tigers, Newcastle, Gold Coast, St George Illawarra are the favourites. And Canberra fans get really angry when I post memes about the Raiders, especially if Ricky Stuart has a whinge in the presser.”
