Angrier than a room full of Fox League writers and NRL 360 hosts, slower than a Bunker decision, less popular than a Broncos coach, it’s time for the weekly Rugby League rant of The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey, who provides his NRL Round 27 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
The NRL Donkey’s NRL Round 27 Expert Tips and Weekly Rant
What a weekend of rugby league awaits, the last round of the regular season, and so much to play for across most games.
But especially the Spoon-Bowl clash between the Eels and Tigers, where the loser gets the wooden spoon. Shame it is on at 6pm on Friday, this game should be a standalone game so the winner can be showered with praise and the loser booed until throats are sore.
Yes, just like that.
So the NRL should have scheduled this game for a Monday 8pm kick off, because it demands a standalone day. And, given they’re both last, playing the game on Monday won’t affect their future plans, except if the players have booked their holidays to Bali for the Monday.
But the NRL did get lucky having last and second last meeting in the last round. Which gives me a thought for the future. Perhaps there should be a Spoon-Bowl every season. A final humiliation for the two worst sides of the season. But also, a last chance for the last placed team to avoid the wooden spoon.
So the plan would be that after the regular season is done, the two worst teams for the season are settled, and in a taster for the upcoming finals series they meet on the Wednesday night, winner/loser takes all.
Maybe it’s unfair that if there’s a substantial gap between second last and last that last should avoid receiving a wooden spoon. Maybe it’s unfair to have make players change their end of season or Mad Monday and beyond plans to play a seemingly meaningless game.
First of all, it usually isn’t a surprise when a team comes last or runs close to the bottom. To finish last you’re usually very unlucky or really sh!t. Mostly both. Either way, players of the worst teams should factor in that their team could possibly be among the two stinkiest teams of a season and prepare for the Wednesday night Spoon Bowl. In the case of the Tigers this season, they can plan months in advance.
And Bali can wait. Or Fiji. Or wherever a rugby league player can go for their off season. Just not the local pound. For obvious reasons.
So something to consider for next season, the Official SpoonBowl. If you agree, then write to your federal MP to get them to push it in parliament. We’d say write to your local newspaper, but if that’s Brisbane there’s only one, and it’s sh!t, and worse still they partially own the Broncos and given their performance last week would probably be too worried about looking silly if there was a chance of them coming last. Which on current form is a chance in 2025.
Talking of last, here are the expert tips for Round 27 and the last regular round of the season.
The NRL Donkey’s NRL Round 27 Expert Tips
BRISBANE v MELBOURNE
Maybe Melbourne can rest all their players again. Their two feeder sides are based in SEQ. You get a vibe some Broncos would like to rest their coach. Either way, given the Broncos awful recent record v Melbourne and at Suncorp Stadium, and in general, and they have no Xavier Willison aka The Beast to carry them this week then victory seems hard to imagine.
Melbourne by 34
WESTS TIGERS v PARRAMATTA
Refer above, Spoon-Bowl awaits. Eat.
Wests Tigers by 4
SOUTH SYDNEY v ROOSTERS
South Sydney can truly sum up an awful season with a terrible performance against their main rival, setting a low bench mark for Wayne Bennett to come back to the club and save it after the post Wayne Bennett form departure tax.
Roosters by 20
DARGONS v CANBERRA
Canberra need to win this and hope for a draw between Newcastle and Dolphins. Same for the Dragons except I don’t like them. Rumours are the coach is going to tell them the game has ten minutes left when they run out for the first half. Rumours from Fox League writers and staff that Flanno is the greatest NRL coach ever.
Not Dragons by 2.
BULLDOGS v NORTH QUEENSLAND
The Bulldogs have now had the loss that some teams like to get out of the way before the finals and lost their 100% home record last weekend, so now they can prepare for the loss they probably don’t want against the Cowboys, a team that has a quietly good record away to top four teams this season. Although, the Bulldogs aren’t fourth.
Cowboys by 6
PANTHERS v GOLD COAST
In a weekend full of great clashes for important things or simmering rivalries it’s good to know there’s still one game I don’t have to care about.
Panthers by 28
MANLY v CRONULLA
There’s every chance these teams could meet in a couple of weeks in the finals. That is all.
Manly by 12
NEWCASTLE v DOLPHINS
It’s a tremendous piece of luck to have the most sudden death game of the season to round out the regular season. Neither side probably deserves to make the top eight, but assessing the game with one eye, I’ll say the Dolphins deserve it more.
A wild weekend of rugby league with almost too many talking points to share. Trying to calm down from the excitement of it all, we’ll let the stats do the talking and separate the Wheat/Chaff to present the NRL Round 26 Team of the Week & Player Stats.
First we have our Team of the Week, which takes some of the key player stats from the weekend and using various scoring methods come up with the best players in their positions from the latest round of the NRL.
Then there’s additional player stats from this weekend and the season that is.
We’ve used the stats for each position and picked the best starting 13 players from the most recent round, the stats and points assigned are explained at the end.
On top of the best starting 13, we also include the best four interchange players of the week. Seeing who has provided maximum impact from the bench.
2024 NRL Team of the Season…so far
Here is the above but for all rounds.
2024 NRL Round 26 Player Stats
Want to see which players topped the key stats for the latest round of the NRL this weekend?
2024 NRL Season Player Stats…so far.
Same as the above stats, but this is for the 2024 season.
How the Team of the Week works
Want to know how we come up with the numbers to rank the players, the below table should explain hopefully.
Want more Player Stats? Neeeeed more NRL data and stuff? Why not try our friends at Nothing But League for bite sized pieces of NRL Stats and more every day.
Just one week to go, and still so much to sort out. Top four, top eight, and dead last. It has been some genius scheduling by the NRL. Talking of smarts, our 2024 NRL Round 27 Tips Predictions & Stats Preview are ready for a 100% correct rating to end the season..
Each week we offer up a quick preview glance for each match, throw in a bunch of barely interesting stats, and mix in a pinch of opinion, some spicy tips and you have a rugby league soup with probably more flavour than one could ever need or want. It’s all you can eat NRL stats.
2024 NRL Round 27 Matches
Thu 7:50 pm – Brisbane v Melbourne
Fri 6:00 pm – Wests Tigers v Parramatta
Fri 8:00 pm – South Sydney v Roosters
Sat 3:00 pm – St George Illawarra v Canberra
Sat 5:30 pm – Bulldogs v North Queensland
Sat 7:35 pm – Penrith v Gold Coast
Sun 2:00 pm – Manly Warringah v Cronulla
Sun 4:05 pm – Newcastle v Dolphins
2024 NRL Round 27 Tips
Here are our tips for the week ahead. How did we get to here? By going through all the visuals and stats below.
Our famed barely interesting stats all in the one place for this week of fewer games.
BRISBANE v MELBOURNE
BRI v MEL – Brisbane have won just two of their last nine games at Suncorp Stadium.
BRI v MEL – Worse still, going back to 2019 Brisbane have won just three of their last 16 at Suncorp Stadium on a Thursday.
BRI v MEL – Melbourne have won all four of their games at Suncorp Stadium on a Thursday.
BRI v MEL – Melbourne have won 17 of their last 19 at Suncorp Stadium v Qld sides.
BRI v MEL – Melbourne have won 15 of the last 16 games v Broncos.
BRI v MEL – Melbourne have never lost to the Broncos on a Thursday in seven games.
BRI v MEL – Melbourne have won 32 of their 39 Thursday games.
BRI v MEL – Before last weekend, Melbourne had never lost a Thursday game to a Qld side.
WESTS TIGERS v PARRAMATTA
WT v PAR – Wests Tigers have lost five home games in a row v Parramatta.
WT v PAR – Wests Tigers have won the only game since 1998 v Parramatta at Campbelltown
WT v PAR – Wests Tigers have lost nine in a row on a Friday v all teams. And six in a row on a Friday at Campbelltown.
WT v PAR – Parramatta have won just one away game this season, and that was in New Zealand, Which means Parramatta haven’t won any away games in Australia this season.
WT V PAR – Parramatta have won just one of their last 12 Friday games.
SOUTH SYDNEY v ROOSTERS
SOU v ROO – Roosters have won their last three games v South Sydney. And the last four on a Friday.
SOU v ROO – Roosters have won their last three Friday games and scored 38 points or more in that run.
SOU v ROO – Roosters have won six straight v Sydney clubs.
SOU v ROO – Souths have scored exactly 16 in three of their last four games.
SOU v ROO – Souths have also lost six in a row.
SOU v ROO – Souths have won eight of their last 10 games on a Friday at the Olympic Stadium.
ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA v CANBERRA
STI v CAN – Canberra have won their last three games v Dragons.
STI v CAN – The H2H at Kogarah for Dragons v Raiders is 2-2.
STI v CAN – Canberra have won all five games on a Friday v Dragons.
BULLDOGS v NORTH QLD
BUL v NQL – Cowboys have a decent record of six wins from their last eight away games v Bulldogs. Cowboys have also won four of their last five away to the Bulldogs on a Saturday.
BUL v NQL – It’s five wins each for this fixture at the Olympic Stadium.
BUL v NQL – Cowboys have won five in a row on the road coming into this game. Wins against Penrith and the Roosters are included in that run. And four away wins v Sydney teams.
BUL v NQL – Bulldogs have won all four home games on a Saturday this season. They have only lost one at home all season, which was last weekend v Manly.
BUL v NQL – Bulldogs are 6/8 on a Saturday this season, Cowboys record is W5 L6.
PENRITH v GOLD COAST
PEN v GCT – Penrith have won nine of their last 10 v Gold Coast. It’s also nine from the last ten on a Saturday too.
PEN v GCT – Penrith have won the only two games between these sides at Penrith Stadium on a Saturday.
PEN v GCT – Penrith have lost their last two Saturday games.
PEN v GCT – Since 2020 Penrith’s record v Qld sides at home is W9 L2.
PEN v GCT – Gold Coast have won just once in their last eight games away to a Sydney club.
PEN v GCT – Gold Coast have won just once in their last eight games away on a Saturday to a Sydney club.
MANLY v CRONULLA
MAN v CRO – Cronulla have won the last three away games v Manly. Two of those wins were at Brookvale. The last two wins away were also on a Sunday.
MAN v CRO – Manly have won all four home games on a Sunday this season.
MAN v CRO – Cronulla have a 100% record on a Sunday this season. It is the only 100% record for either Friday, Saturday or Sunday.
MAN v CRO – Cronulla have won their past two Sunday away games by a combined 78-10.
NEWCASTLE v DOLPHINS
NEW v DOL – Dolphins are unbeaten in Newcastle, from one game.
NEW v DOL – Newcastle have won their last three home games on a Sunday v Qld sides.
NEW v DOL – Newcastle have won 12 of their last 13 home games on a Sunday.
NEW v DOL – Dolphins have lost their last three Sunday away games.
2024 NRL Round 27 Helpful Betting Stuff
Here’s a few betting things to enhance your tipping.
Charles Leclerc sent the Italian fans wild with a popular home win for Ferrari is a masterful display of driving, holding on with old tyres to keep the McLarens at bay. Talking of popular, here is our 2024 Italian F1 Grand Prix Result Summary.
This 2024 Italian Grand Prix Result, Laps that Matter summary, Review & Ratings which gives you just enough to catch up with. With just a hint of cynicism, bias, opinion and colour. The perfect bite sized review for those who couldn’t be bothered, or don’t have enough time.
Didn’t see the race live? Don’t have time to watch the whole race? Here’s where we capture the laps where stuff happened. We write these live as we go, sort of like a minute by minute for the football, but marginally more interesting.
Setting the scene – It’s a McLaren 1-2 in qualifying with the Championship chasing Lando Norris on top. The stage is set for taking a huge chunk out of that Championship deficit too with the Red Bull of Max Verstappen starting from 7th on the grid. In between is another McLaren, two Mercedes and Two Ferraris. None of those cars will happily give up a position to Verstappen. Max, who is not used to losing could get impatient and double down on the disadvantage to McLaren with a clash. The season’s quickest race is ready to be blinked and missed. It’s hot, and a small chance of rain.
GRID (Starting Order) – NOR PIA RUS LEC SAI HAM VER PER ALB HUL
Lap 1 – A mediocre start from Lando Norris sees him chop across his team mate but Piastri does the right thing and jinks left which gives Norris a clean line into the first chicane. George Russell smokes up his tyres by outbraking himself and heading down the escape lane. But Piastri isn’t quite as nice into the second chicane as he dives past Norris who was not expecting it. This then allowed Charles Leclerc to steal second place too. Hard to think McLaren wanted this scenario. Further back Max Verstappen is complaining about something with Lewis Hamilton. Only noticeable thing further back in the field is the Hulk dropping from 10th to 16th.
ORDER – PIA LEC NOR SAI HAM VER PER RUS ALB ALO
Lap 3 – Sergio Perez is complaining about George Russell’s car which appears to be missing parts. He continues for now. So does Perez, behind him.
Lap 4 – Lando Norris sets fastest lap as he closes on Charles Leclerc. The gaps between most of the top ten drivers are around the one second mark at this stage.
Lap 6 – Nico Hulkenberg comes in for new tyres and a new front wing. He was given very little room by Daniel Ricciardo on lap one as they approached the Ascari chicane side by side.
Lap 8 – Yuki Tsunoda retires from the race. Not a great weekend after being eliminated in Q1. He ain’t getting a Red Bull drive on current form. Nico Hulkenberg gets a 10 second penalty that relates to Tsunioda’s DNF.
Lap 10 – Piastri is still just over a second in front of Leclerc, who is similarly in front of Norris for the top three. Only Perez is threatening George Russell for front half action.
Lap 11 – Sergio Perez does overtake George Russell for 7th. Russell pits at the end of the lap for a tyre change and a nose job. Meanwhile, the Red Bull’s are off the pace a little thus far, but are on the hard tyre like not many.
ORDER – PIA LEC NOR SAI HAM VER PER RUS ALB ALO
Lap 14 – Oscar Piastri has skipped out to three seconds in front now, while his team mate closes in on Charles Leclerc, and then dives into the pitlane. Norris getting the undercut may be part of McLaren’s plans all along. Coming out behind Esteban Ocon probably wasn’t but Norris makes light work of getting past. He’s behind Alex Albon for now.
Lap 16 – Leclerc and Hamilton pit. Lando Norris has jumped ahead of Leclerc, which works nicely for the Brit. Less so for Hamilton who ends up joining behind Ocon and Stroll. That could be trouble. Piastri has been given the Box call too.
Lap 17 – Oscar Piastri pits from the lead and rejoins just in front of Alex Albon, who is just in front of Lando Norris. But at least McLaren have cleared out other main teams in between their drivers. And Albon pits a lap later anyway. Stand by for team orders. Charles Leclerc meanwhile is questioning his team’s tactics. He probably has to do that a lot.
ORDER – SAI VER PER PIA NOR LEC OCO STR HAM BOT
Lap 19 – The Red Bulls are currently second and third and on the hard tyres. Given it seems everyone has to pit one more time, have Red Bull played a blinder here. The other main runner yet to pit was leader Carlos Sainz, but he pits at the end of the lap and emerges 6th.
Lap 22 – Valtteri Bottas is threatening to score his team’s first point of the season, harassing Fernando Alonso for 10th. Max Verstappen pits and the pit stop is a slower one with a delay putting the right rear on. That will certainly make Max happy. He rejoins 8th.
Lap 23 – Radio message from McLaren. “You are allowed to race, Papaya rules”. Hopefully some interesting gear coming.
Lap 26 – Not sure if Piastri is listening, he sets fastest lap and extends his lead to 1.8 seconds. Followed by another on Lap 27. And Lap 28. The lead over Norris is 2.5 seconds.
Lap 29 – Lando Norris sets a fastest lap now.
Lap 31 – Sergio Perez and George Russell are racing for 7th and Russell ran wide at the first chicane again. Further ahead Lando Norris has made a mistake and the gap evaporates between him and Leclerc. Norris’ mistake was running wide at the second chicane.
Lap 33 – Lando Norris pits for new tyres, looking for an undercut again. He comes out in front of Max Verstappen which will be easy for Verstappen to take. A slow pit stop didn’t help.
Lap 37 – Oscar Piastri is nearly six seconds up the road from Charles Leclerc and is easily a full pit stop ahead of Lando Norris, who is spending his time chasing Max Verstappen for 5th.
Lap 38 – Lewis Hamilton pits for new tyres, and McLaren check on Piastri to see if he can make the end of the race on the tyres. Piastri and probably his computer say no. Further back George Russell and Sergio Perez are giving each other heaps
Lap 39 – Oscar Piastri pits from the lead and rejoins third just in front of Max Verstappen and Lando Norris. The Ferraris remain. Can they make the distance? Probably not.
ORDER – LEC SAI PIA VER NOR HAM MAG RUS PER ALB
Lap 41 – Lando Norris overtakes Max Verstappen for fourth, which means his team mate is the next car ahead. But ahead of Piastri are the two Ferraris who may not have to stop now. There’s 16 seconds between Piastri and leader Charles Leclerc with 11 laps to go. Are the McLaren’s fast enough to close that gap for victory. Will Piastri let Norris past for Championship glory. Lots of questions. Answers coming.
Lap 43 – Oscar Piastri is two laps away from catching Carlos Sainz according to the screen stats, but there’s another 10 second to Leclerc ahead of Sainz. 8 laps to go, it doesn’t look likely. Sainz and Piastri have form for clashing too this season.
Lap 45 – That prediction was pretty good as Piastri catches Sainz on the pit straight but is not quite close enough for the time being. He needs to get past quickly and does so half a lap later in the Ascari chicane. Charles Leclerc is 12 seconds ahead after Piastri gets past. Lando Norris is over two seconds behind Sainz, so his chance for first is probably over.
ORDER – LEC PIA SAI NOR HAM VER RUS PER MAG ALB
Lap 48 – Lando Norris passes Carlos Sainz for third. Ahead Oscar Piastri has reduced the gap to Charles Leclerc to just over five seconds.
Lap 49 – Piastri is now over seven seconds behind Leclerc and it looks like he may be preparing to give Norris his second place for Championship gains. Unless Piastri has made a mistake.
Lap 51 – Piastri is making not much of an impression on Leclerc who is finding something on much older tyres. Lando Norris isn’t making much up on Piastri either. Leclerc looks safe with two laps to go.
Lap 52 – Oscar Piastri is gaining but not quick enough. It’s under four seconds as they cross the line to start the last lap. Piastri may not want to win now, he may not get out of Italy in one piece.
FINAL LAP – Charles Leclerc holds onto first position after nursing his tyres around one final lap. The crowd are pretty happy with it too. It was a great drive from Leclerc. Oscar Piastri gets within three seconds but it’s not enough. Lando Norris adds one point to his Championship gains with a fastest lap on the last tour.
FINAL ORDER (Across the line) – LEC PIA NOR SAI HAM VER RUS PER ALB MAG
Here we go through the field and highlight the very best (Great) of the race, and the plodders, the over-ambitious, the out of luck, and simply hopeless (Grape).
These points get added to our Driver of the Season scores. points for a great nomination, and -5 for the worst or grapest driver in the pack. Then it is +2 /-2 for honourable or dishonourable mentions.
THE GREAT-EST – CHARLES LECLERC
A sensational win for Charles Leclerc. Does it get any better than a win for Ferrari at Monza. He’d know, he’s done it before. But Leclerc did a super job on his one stopper, holding on well at the end as the McLaren of Piastri close in.
HONOURABLE MENTIONS
OSCAR PIASTRI – A solid job in qualifying sees him line up second and stay there after the start as he behaved himself. But then at the second chicane he steals the lead from Lando Norris and doesn’t look back. Pity looking forward he saw a Ferrari that had only pitted once, but second is still a good result.
ALEX ALBON – Fast and in the top ten mix all weekend through practice and qualifying. 9th in the race is a decent collect.
KEVIN MAGNUSSEN – Good run to 10th place with some smart overtaking during the race.
FRANCO COLAPINTO – Outqualified a few cars at his first attempt of F1 proper, and ran ahead of some very experienced drivers in the race. Didn’t spin or crash, so instantly better than Logan Sargeant. TV picks up his move on Pierre Gasly for 15th. A final placing of 12th is a fantastic result.
THE GRAPE-EST – MAX VERSTAPPEN
Qualified on the fourth row is a genuine lack of pace. Put on hard tyres as an alternative strategy which didn’t really work. Losing more point in the Championship, although it could have been worse with a better race from Lando Norris. The Constructors Championship lead is almost gone, and the driver Championship is getting nervous for him.
DISHONOURABLE MENTIONS
YUKI TSUNODA – Dropped out of qualifying in Q1 again, and was beaten in Qualifying by his team mate. An early retirement was after a clash with Nicop Hulkenberg.
DANIEL RICCIARDO – Made a decent start for a change, beat his team mate in qualifying, then came the race. Ran Nico Hulkenberg off the track on lap one, which gave him a ten second penalty. Then got a ten second penalty for not doing the ten second penalty correctly before.
LANDO NORRIS – Harsh maybe but qualifying first and finishing third must be a bit disappointing. Especially when the Red Bull of his nearest championship was having a shocker. A low ranking based on what could have been, not what did happen.
Was it a good race, loads of action, a tense ending, a surprise result or DNF, or just a big, fat, snooze-fest?
We rate the big race itself, so we know which races to go back and watch in the off season or one to simply remember the winner for the post season quiz nights.
ON TRACK ACTION – 5 / 10
An exciting opening lap with the McLaren swapping positions, and there was some good overtakes in the midfield and beyond. The front cars are too compeditive for too much racing, so it is done via the pit stops.
ANY SURPRISES? – 5 / 5
The Red Bull’s better so far off the pace in qualifying certainly was. Piastri move on Norris on lap one was also a surprise. For Lando. Then Ferrari win the race on a one stopper, when it looked it was a coin flip between the McLaren drivers.
SEASON IMPORTANCE – 5 / 5
If a new order wasn’t officially declared before this weekend it should be now. McLaren are bossing the championship at the moment, and with the Red Bull looking a genuine fourth quickest at Monza, are the gloriest of glory days over?
ENDING 6 / 10
Tension at the end as the McLarens chased the Ferraris for the win. And would Piastri move over for Norris for the Championship. Sadly Piastri was able to make it close enough for too much tension.
OVERALL RATING 21 / 30
Interesting enough race, with a surprise win for Ferrari at their home track. The race doubles as an important one for the rest of the season as the Red Bull form is diving.
The EPL Donkey is back for another week with a double decker bus of opinion, and this week’s Premier League Week 3 Tips.
Putting the ass in sass, the EPL Donkey offers his thoughts on the week that was or could be or will be, often with little to do with football, before launching into his Premier League Week 3 Tips for the punters and fans.
The EPL Donkey’s Weekly Rant
The transfer window is still open, and a bit of a shame that it continues to get more attention than the actual on-field game. A bit like every second article is about Sergio Perez and Daniel Ricciardo in F1 these days.
Although the ominous form of Manchester City gives you the feeling that a transfer window will be a welcome distraction in a few months time. Better still, a massive points deduction announcement.
But this transfer window does drag on way too long. Not just past the start of the season to almost game week 3, but basically from the end of the season in May. Over three months is too long and too boring.
So a suggestion to liven it all up. A Supermarket sweep style ran and grab.
All teams and players looking to move assemble in one place in one city for one day.
And players are assembled by position in long rows like a supermarket, and club managers pushing shopping trolleys are given just five minutes to grab as many players as they need or want. And in the case of Chelsea, all the players they can hire.
Just five minutes, and one team at a time, with each major league getting their go. Imagine the chaos and panic at being given five minutes to sort out your players. Like Chelsea, it may end up with a trolley full of stuff that is really expensive that you really don’t want.
The shortened time for picking players will also screw over player managers who will have to get their deals done in a manner of seconds not months.
And of course you can sell the TV rights to the all-day football frenzy.
But it will never happen. But it should.
And now onto the expert tips for this week.
The EPL Donkey’s Week 3 Premier League Tips
ARSENAL v BRIGHTON
A top of the table clash to open up the weekend is quite the treat. Brighton are paying $7.00 to win which seems generous. Given how Man City have started the season, only a point deduction for them will help Arsenal win the title.
Arsenal 1 Brighton 1
BRENTFORD v SOUTHAMPTON
The who cares game of the week.
Brentford 0 Southampton 0
EVERTON v BOURNEMOUTH
This game will confirm very early whether Everton are genuine busted arse relegation specials this season.
Everton 0 Bournemouth 1
IPSWICH v FULHAM
Ipswich saved energy last weekend by turning their game in a semi-opposed kick around for Man City. Smart. They will come out and smash Fulham this week.
Ipswich 3 Fulham 0
LEICESTER v ASTON VILLA
Leicester are leading the promoted teams mini league with a point. That one point is better than five other teams after two weeks. And one more than they will get this weekend. Although it would be good to see Jamie Vardy score to see his reaction for the Villa fans.
Leicester 1 Aston Villa 2
NOTTINGHAM FOREST v WOLVES
Maybe someone at Wolves should come out and say that Nottingham is sh!t, like the Chelsea player did just before his team won 6-2 and he scored three goals. Don’t know who would have that in them. Chris Wood would, being a feisty New Zealander, but since he plays for Nottingham that would be counter-productive. Maybe Chris Wood could and would call Wolverhampton sh!t even though the game is in Nottingham to guarantee goals.
Nottingham Forest 2 Wolves 0
WEST HAM v MAN CITY
Man City are a football killing machine. And will consume everything in their path. West Ham last beat Man City a decade ago. That’s not going to help. Jarrod Bowen will probably score though.
West Ham 1 Man City 4
NEWCASTLE v SPURS
This game is like a box of chocolates. And both sides could melt.
Newcastle 3 Spurs 1
CHELSEA v CRYSTAL PALACE
Crystal Palace have lost a million in a row v Chelsea. Maybe for fairness and convenience Chelsea could give Palace Raheem Sterling for the game, for free.
Chelsea 4 Crystal Palace 0
MAN UTD v LIVERPOOL
This used to be a big game. Man Utd used to be good.
They say there can only be winners and losers in sport, but of course they’re wrong, there’s always the draw, and who doesn’t love a draw where everyone wins. Those winners include canny punters who look for value, and here to help is our Best of World Football Draws Tips for the week – and this is our first one of the new European season, so it is choc-full of stalemate.
Our resident draw expert Frankington Stanley runs his keen eye over the many football divisions around the world to find the best draws for you. He’s sort of like the John West of Football draws and hate Dog Salmon. Frankington spent the off season ignoring the Euros to continent-hop across dozens of countries to assess the best league and teams for draws.
Frankington Stanley is not fussy, no country or continent is out of bounds, and the more obscure the better. And some of them are quite obscure. They don’t even feature on the Who Scored website.
So get yourself ready for another weekly serving of the finest Football Draw tips from all over the world, where The Gurgler and Frankington Stanley take the stale out of stalemate.
It’s all you can eat draws
DRAW OF THE WEEK
Here is the best of the best draw tips for the week.
SERIE A – LECCE v CAGLIARI
ODDS – DRAW $3.10
FORM / STATS – The last four games played between these sides have ended in a draw. And of all sorts too 0-0, 1-1, 2-2. All draws, all for you. Plus three of the last four home games for Lecce v Cagliari have ended in a draw. Early days in Serie A after just two games, but Cagliari have drawn both of their games so far, and Lecce haven’t got any points or goals so far, so will and should settle for a draw.
OTHER DRAW SPECIALS
Paraguay Division Intermedia – Club F de la Mora v Resistencia SC
ODDS – DRAW $2.90
FORM / STATS – Just the one draw from the last six games between these sides, which is a little disappointing. But can you hear the draws for Fernando? This season three of their last five home games have ended in a draw. Meanwhile Resistencia have shown no Resistencia at all as they have lost their last six games in the league. You know they’ll settle for a draw. And so will you.
Slovakian Super Liga – 2024/2025 – MFK Skalica v FC Kosice
ODDS – DRAW $3.20
FORM / STATS – You do have to go back to 2022 and five games ago for the last draw between these sides. Make sure you get a Covid booster while you’re there. The season is only young but Skalica have managed to fit in two draws in their four games so far. And 1/2 at home. Kosice are pointless away this season. They can upgrade that to winless this weekend with a draw.
ENGLISH CHAMPIONSHIP – LEEDS v HULL
ODDS – DRAW $5.00
FORM / STATS – There are five draws out of a six combined games for these teams so far this season. With the only blemish a win for Leeds. Looking at the H2H and there’s draws-a-plenty too. The second last and third last games between these sides have ended in a draw. This is your value selection of the week.
PREMIER LEAGUE DRAW SPECIAL OF THE WEEK
With so many divisions, there should be so many draws to choose from. Frankington Stanley goes next best with a draw from The Championship.
EPL – NOTTINGHAM FOREST v WOLVES
ODDS – DRAW $3.50
FORM / STATS – The last three games between these sides ended in a draw, and all three were on a Saturday, like the game this weekend.
UK FOOTBALL DRAW SPECIAL OF THE WEEK
With so many divisions, there should be so many draws to choose from. Frankington Stanley goes next best with a draw from League Two.
League Two – AFC Wimbledon v Fleetwood Town
ODDS – DRAW $3.20
FORM / STATS – The last season these teams were in the same division it was double draw. Fleetwood have drawn two of their three games so far this season and drawn their only away game too. AFC Wimbledon have won their only home game this season but might be coming down from a high after knocking out Ipswich Town in the League Cup midweek.
EURO DRAW SPECIAL OF THE WEEK
Some have accused us of picking easy leagues for our draws. First of all, how dare you, secondly we introduce our Euro Leagues draw of the week, where we scan the four biggest leagues in Europe for the finest draws. It could be Serie A, La Liga, Bundesliga, or Ligue 1, but what it will always be is a quality eye for a draw.
SPAIN LA LIGA – GETAFE v REAL SOCIEDAD
ODDS – DRAW $2.75
FORM / STATS – Three of the last six of this clash have ended in a draw, plus two of the last three games at Getafe. So a solid base to work from there. Throw in Getafe have only two draws to show for the La Liga season so far.
The F1 Donkey continues The Gurgler’s sporting coverage where a sharp tongue, bold predictions and a juicy carrot all meet. Before each race The F1 Donkey will provide sass and predictions, including this week’s 2024 Italian Grand Prix Predictions plus an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of F1 and beyond for another week.
The F1 Donkey’s Pre Italian Grand Prix Thoughts
Off to Monza then, where the flare smoke will turn from orange to red as Ferraris are worshipped. The Monza track is exciting for other reasons too as it is the closest thing to oval racing as we get in Formula 1. Which is a bit of a shame until you actually watch a NASCAR race and realise how dull it is, and how long it goes. Not NFL long, but too long regardless. But it’s yellow flag contrived, left-turning bore-fest is perfect for Trump fans everywhere. Although, it’s ironic that they would like something that usually only has a left turn.
But regardless of our thoughts on NASCAR racing itself, we’d love to see an F1 v NASCAR v Indycar Head-to-Head on an oval. Given Max Verstappen will drive simulator games until 3am on the morning before a Grand Prix, allegedly, I’m sure he’d be up for it. Valtteri Bottas’ hair style means he’d be up for a NASCAR battle, and it might give him a chance to have a car that’s faster than someone else. Lewis Hamilton is loved by a lot of Americans, so he’d be in. Ditto Daniel Ricciardo. Although, Ricciardo would still probably be linked with the Red Bull drive mid-race. Pierre Gasly occasionally wears caps backwards, which qualifies him for interest. And since Logan Sargeant has nothing better to do, he could drive, if anyone could lend him an F1 car. But given the state he left his last one in, maybe not. But only turning left does eliminate 50% of his deficiencies, so it might work.
Most of the F1 drivers in fact would love to take on a NASCAR driver, after Kyle Larson claimed he’s a better all round driver than Max Verstappen. Quite the claim from someone who turns left for 98% of the season. Especially given Shane van Gisbergen won at his first attempt in a NASCAR on a street track, I’ll believe it when I see it.
But who knows, maybe Kyle Larson is right. Which is why we need the showdown on an oval to decide it. Not like the lame Race of Champions in a football stadium, a proper American oval.
And then maybe the return leg at Monza. Sure, it is mainly right hand turns, but the battle needs to be fair-ish.
Wait, I forgot about Indycar.
Anyways, off to the 2024 Italian Grand Prix bold predictions for each team.
The NRL Donkey’s Bold 2024 Italian Grand Prix Predictions
And here they are, in a convenient team by team format, so you can ignore Kick/Stake/Sauber at your convenience.
RED BULL
Sergio Perez to be eliminated in Q1. Max to miss podium. Neither to be happy about either.
McLAREN
Another win for Lando Norris.
FERRARI
Charles Leclerc to send the crowd wild with a front row qualifying spot. Followed by solid points for both drivers. Although can’t rule out a Sainz tangle.
MERCEDES
Andrea Kimi Antonelli to seal his 2025 race seat with Mercedes with a FP1 effort that sees him outpace George Russell.
ASTON MARTIN
Lance Stroll to not make it past one racing lap despite a promising qualifying.
RB / VISA CARD / VCRAB / RED BULL JNR
More articles about Daniel Ricciardo. Equal to the place he will qualify in after ending his session in Q2.
HAAS
Kevin Magnussen is due to run into someone.
WILLIAMS
Alex Albon to qualify 5th. New boy Franco Colapinto to do better than Logan Sargeant.
ALPINE
Pierre Gasly to make Q3 and make a nuisance of himself among the faster cars early.
KICK / STAKE / SAUBER / ALMOST AUDI (Not Aldi)
Last and obscure.
F1 2024 Season Stats
And some proper stats to ensure this is more of an F1 article.
Two weeks down and some of the season stories already look like they are being decided. Like Man City are probably going to win the title, Everton look in real trouble, and who knows what Spurs will do. Talking of being decided, here are our Premier League Predictions Week 3.
Each gameweek in the Premier League in 2024-25 we offer up a stat filled prediction preview, with some barely interesting stats and visuals, just enough to bluff your way through various tipping competitions or betting shops.
And stay tuned for the EPL Donkey, who serves up a slightly different view on the Premier League each week.
2024-25 Premier League Predictions Week 3
Barely Interesting Premier League Stats Week 3
Here you’ll find the choicest cuts of barely interesting stats on offer for every fixture this gameweek. Some may assist your tipping, others are barely worth a grunt. Either way, they are all yours.
ARS v BHA – The home side has failed to win any of the last four games in this fixture on a Saturday.
BRE v SOT – Brentford have won the last three games v Southampton. Brentford also won all three home games last season v promoted sides.
EVE v BOU – Everton have won eight of the nine clashes v Bournemouth at home. (W8 L1)
EVE v BOU – Everton have only won one of their last five clashes v Bournemouth on a Saturday. (W1 D1 L3).
IPS v FUL – Fulham have won the last six games v Ipswich. Prior to that, Ipswich were unbeaten in 14 games v Fulham.
LEI v AVL – Aston Villa are unbeaten in their last three games at Leicester (W2 D1). But Leicester are unbeaten in their last four v Aston Villa on a Saturday.
LEI v AVL – Aston Villa’s record last season v promoted sides as W5 D1.
NFO v WOL – The last three games between Forest and Wolves have ended in a draw.
NFO v WOL – Wolves have only lost one of their last 12 v Nottingham Forest (W6 D5 L1).
WHU v MCI – Man City are unbeaten in their last 18 league games v West Ham (W15 D3). West Ham last won in 2015.
WHU v MCI – Man City are unbeaten in their last 10 league games at West Ham (W8 D2). West Ham last won in 2014.
NEW v TOT – Newcastle’s last two home games v Spurs have ended in 4-0 and 6-1 wins.
CHE v CRY – Chelsea have won 13 games in a row v Crystal Palace in the league.
CHE v CRY – Chelsea have won 7 home games in a row v Crystal Palace in the league.
CHE v CRY – Chelsea have never lost to Crystal Palace on a Sunday (W5 D1).
MUN v LIV – Man Utd are unbeaten in their last two home games v Liverpool (W1 D1).
MUN v LIV – Man Utd have failed to win in their last five home games on a Sunday v Liverpool (D4 L1). It’s ten unbeaten on a Sunday for Liverpool anywhere v Man Utd (W4 D6).
Premier League Week 3 H2H Stats
Here are the H2H for Week 3 of the Premier League.
General Premier League Season Stats
This is where we put the current season stats. With only one game played, this is about the most interesting we can find for now. But stayed tuned for more and better.
The Gurgler’s Premier League football coverage of the 2024/25 season continues with match reviews of selected games throughout the season, including this edition of a summary of the Ipswich v Man City match which ended Man City 4 Ipswich 1.
But this is no ordinary review, in fact, it’s barely a review. People don’t have enough time these days, so we pack as much information into a one-minute read as we can. If that.
Man City 4 Ipswich 1 – Match Summary
FIRST HALF
For five glorious minutes, Ipswich Town were leading one of the best football teams in the world.
The Ipswich goal was totally against the run of play, but was still well taken. A breakaway from West Ham recruit Ben Johnson found Blackburn recruit Sam Szmodics who put the ball through Ederson and the ball trickled over the line for a barely believable 1-0 lead after 7 minutes.
Man City seemed to take maximum offence to this goal and turned their football up to 11. Although, City’s first goal was a gift. There was the lightest feather of touch on the edge of the box on Savinho by Leif Davis and VAR spoiled the Ipswich party. Erling Haaland made no mistake with the penalty.
Before the disappointment had time to sink in for Ipswich fans it was 2-1, after Ipswich’s dedication to playing out from the back ended in disaster as the Ipswich keeper was dispossessed and an easy tap in for Kevin de Bruyne. One does wonder why Walton, who was excellent against Liverpool in Week 1 was replaced at this stage.
A third goal in four minutes arrived with some more hesitant defending, and Haaland was on the scene for his second. The score was lucky to stay at 3-1 until half time with two more attempts hitting the woodwork, and City suffocating Ipswich with the ball.
SECOND HALF
Thankfully Man City are a team that rarely put the foot down with a decent lead, because there were signs at theirpeak in the first half, with the woodwork to thank, that the nine goal deficit that Ipswich jointly hold the record for could be in trouble.
Of course Erling Haaland completed another hat trick as he is a goal hungry monster, football’s equivalent of the evil Terminators, but thankfully
A 4-0 loss would have been a widely accepted result pre-match, so keeping the goals against to four, scoring the first goal of the season, and not being totally embarrassed was a decent outcome.
Ipswich also have the equal best shots on target v shots ratio in the Premier League after two games. Small wins.
The season starts next week for Ipswich where they play a tricky, but infinitely easier game v Fulham at home.
Here are The Gurgler’s 2024 Dutch Grand Prix Ratings – our way of rating the performances on the track without getting disqualified.
Our G-Power Rankings goes a little bit deeper than just points scored on the Sunday and has a slightly cooler name than most. We take on board Free Practice, Qualifying, performance in relation to teammate, fastest lap, and a few more stats that are attempting to highlight a driver outperforming the car and/or thrashing their teammate.
Plus, we have a range of stats and barely interesting facts from the 2024 F1 Season so far.
Here are the current overall standings for our Driver of the Year winner – the Martini Medal. Named in honour of one of F1’s most unsung heroes – Pierluigi Martini of Minardi fame.
We have the overall scores as they stand, plus a visual which shows the flow of each driver’s position throughout the season, plus a few points of interest below.
Here is the breakdown of the Driver of the Year points from the most recent race and the season so far. Remembering our ratings go across a whole weekend, so the race winner who may not have had a great qualifying or sprint race may not come out on top.
LATEST RACE RATINGS
DRIVER OF THE SEASON UPDATE
2024 Dutch Grand Prix Ratings – Teams
This is essentially using the same drivers stats but in reverse for the worst score, but taking out anything that is a H2H between the drivers.
And our annual award focuses on the other end of the grid, highlighting the worst team of the season.
Of course, the worst team of the season award needs to be named after the worst F1 team of all time. And if you want to fund out more about Andrea Moda, follow this link.
LATEST RACE & SEASON RATINGS
BEST OF 2024 STATS AND DRIVER OF THE YEAR
DRIVER 2024 H2H RECORD
Beating your team mate in F1 is very important, which is why we keep an eye on the H2H stats through the season.
New for this week is the overall H2H. Which means the H2H from every session – FP and Qualifying, plus who set a faster Fastest Lap and two points for beating the team mate in the race. Note: both have to feature in same Q session for H2H point.
2024 F1 QUALIFYING STATS
Here our qualifying analysis covers just about everything we could find on qualifying.
QUALIFYING SUMMARY
QUALIFYING STATS
QUALIFYING COMPARISON FROM 2023 SEASON to 2024 SEASON
FIRST LAP POSITION + GRID TO RACE RESULT GAINS
Races can’t be won or lost at the first corner, well actually they can be lost at the first corner, and a good one can make all the difference. Unless you drive a Red Bull, then it doesn’t really matter.
So here are the stats on the lightning fast starters and the slow pokes.
FREE PRACTICE
Some say Free Practice is a giant waste of time, and they are probably right. Regardless here is the average position for each drivers in Free Practice this season. Each round an average of all the sessions.
Current Race Power Rankings in Detail
2024 F1 Season Power Rankings – Points Explanation
Here’s how the points work this season. Essentially the perfect race (Win from Pole, Fastest Lap, thrash team mate, best in race etc) should amount to the perfect 100 points.
FIRST LAP GAINS +0.5pts per position gained -0.5pts per position lost.
CHAMPIONSHIP POINTS – 25pts to 1pt as per World Championship – Sprint Race Points added.
BEAT TEAM MATE (RACE) – 10pts (if both finish or other driver got self inflicted DNF)
FASTEST LAP – 5pts – 1pt for top five drivers.
GRID POSITION TO RACE POSITION – formula +/- relative finish to grid
BEST OF THE REST (RACE) – 5pts to 1pt – top five non Mercedes-Red Bull drivers
QUALIFYING – 20pts to 1pt – Grid Position 1 to 20.
BEAT TEAM MATE (QUALIFYING) – 5pts
BEST OF THE REST (QUALIFYING) – 5pts to 1pt – top five non Mercedes-Red Bull drivers
GREAT/GRAPE – 5pts Great 2pts Honourable Mention -2Pts Dishonourable Mention -5Pts Grape
BEAT TEAM MATE (QUALIFYING) Time Gap – Formula for % beaten team mate by
BEAT TEAM MATE (QUALIFYING) Position – 0.5 Pts for every position team mate is beaten by. 0 points for second car.
FREE PRACTICE HERO – 10Pts to 1Pt – Average Position across all three practice sessions.
WIN FROM POLE – Bonus 5 Points
WIN FROM POLE WITH FASTEST LAP – Bonus 10 Points
DNF Not Driver or Team Fault Minus 2 Points
DNF CAUSED BY DRIVER/TEAM INCOMPETENCE Minus 5 Points
SPRINT RACE POINTS – Points 8 to 1 as handed out in the sprint race.
SPRINT RACE CHANGE – 0.5 Points per change in end position to starting position.
SPRINT RACE QUAL – Points 8 to 1 as handed out in the order of qualifying 1st to 8th.
