Welcome to our Pacific Championships – PNG Kumuls v Fiji – One Minute Match Review – giving you the bare minimum round up in the bare minimum of time of the big international rugby league clash.
PNG Kumuls v Fiji Summary
As ever, there’s nothing like the pre match rituals of the Pacific nations, and Fiji’s hymn is the best of the lot.
After a dominant start to the game, where the Kumuls had a lot of good ball and territory, with many tackles in the Fiji half, their first try was created down the other end of the field.
After a Fiji 40-20 kick got them into the PNG end, the Bati were on the attack for the next part of the game, and against the flow of the game at that point Robert Derby pick pocketed a short pass from Viliame Kikau and sprinted 80 metres to score.
Not long after Fiji had a try called back for obsutrcution by Viliame Kikau he Kumuls extended the lead to 10-0. The try was set up by a barnstorming, tackle breaking run from the Kumul’s best Nene McDonald, who despite the attention of two defenders offloaded to PNG hooker Judah Rimbu for a try.
Both teams had chances before the break, but PNG were the team to break through, with Sylvester Namo driving through the Fiji defence from 10 metres out near the post. He drove hard and low and was too hard to stop. The easy conversion gave them a 16-0 half time lead.
Fiji needed to score first in the second half and they did just that in the 47th with a try in the right corner to Semi Valemei that looked too easy. It reduced the gap to 12 points.
But not long after PNG effectively won themselves the game as Robert Derby got the measure of Viliame Kikau again, with the Fiji forward finding Derby with a pass for the second time in the match, and Derby ran away with it down the other end. Derby didn’t score himself, but zigged and zagged enough to sort out the fullback and the PNG Fullback was on hand to score the try.
Both teams had a try disallowed later in the second half, and the errors did start to creep in. But PNG could and should have kept the Fiji side to four points, but a reasonably bad attempt to clean up a grubber kick backfired and Maika Sivo was in the right place to fall on the ball and score. It left the final score at 22-10.
PNG Kumuls v Fiji Final Thoughts
It was one of the Kumul’s better performances, and a decent effort with such a short preparation, and a bunch of players coming from overseas. And with a minimum of NRL stars, or NRL players in general.
The Kumuls needed no NRL superstars, they have a solid team and thoroughly outclassed Fiji who had more big time NRL experience.
For those who question the PNG NRL team bid, maybe tonight’s win will lean some towards positivity around it. The Kumuls were made up of mostly PNG Hunters or the fringiest of NRL players. And some of the best PNG players from the UK. And it’s those UK players that are important to that new NRL team bid.
Way too many PNG players feel the need to head to the UK, and a lot of them excel over there like Lachlan Lam, Rhyse Martin or Roderick Tai. But a lot never acclimatise as well, and are lost to the game after a season or so, like the great Willie Minoga.
It’s someone like Minoga, who terrorised the Queensland Cup for seasons, but could never catch the eye of an NRL club. He moved to the UK eventually which didn’t quite work out, and a brief return to the PNG Hunters didn’t quite work out either. Minoga was one of the Hunters best, and scored the premiership winning try in 2017. So imagine if he could have stayed in the NRL in a team based in PNG, I have no doubt he would have been an NRL success and cult hero of even greater heights than Justin Olam.
They just need the chance, and a few international games a year is not enough. PNG has a passionate rugby league following, bigger than anywhere in the world, and with a proper pathway who knows how many Willie Minogas there are out there.
So for those who ask the question which NRL would want to play in a PNG NRL team, that doesn’t matter. It’s more about how many PNG players we can keep in rugby league, and playing in the NRL. It could change an entire country if done properly. Which hopefully it is.
Oh, and how good is Kyle Laybutt. And why hasn’t he ever got a decent crack at the NRL. He offers so much in every department.
PNG Kumuls v Fiji Stats That Mattered
Courtesy of nrl.com
PNG Kumuls are now W11 L7 since the 2017 Rugby League World Cup
FRANCE-AGRICULTURE-MINISTER-TRAVEL-PYRENEES-ORIENTALES
Minister, Annie Genevard, talking to the press and local elected representatives in Rivesaltes in the Pyrenees-Orientales department in southern France, October 17, 2024. Annie Genevard, the Barnier government's Minister of Agriculture and Food Sovereignty, is visiting the Pyrenees-Orientales region following an invitation from the FNSEA and Jeunes Agri, alerting the Minister to the plight of farmers in a department hit hard by a historic drought that has devastated local agriculture and viticulture. (Photo by Jc Milhet / Hans Lucas / Hans Lucas via AFP) (Photo by JC MILHET/Hans Lucas/AFP via Getty Images)
A former journalist has rediscovered his passion.
Simon was a journalist at a local Brisbane newspaper for a decade before he lost his job during Covid.
“I was gutted at first, but eventually got back on my feet with a nice copywriting gig.”
And it was through the new job that Simon found a pathway back into journalism, through his new co-worker Jon.
“Jon and I became mates pretty quickly. Over beers one night he showed me his news parody website. I had a look and it was pretty funny – lots of made up stories about politics, sports, and current events,” said Simon. “He asked me if I wanted to write him. I said yes. I didn’t care that it was voluntary and nobody read it. I appreciated the lack of pressure – and I could write whatever I wanted.”
The new writing gig was a second wind for Simon, regularly posting parody articles based on his journalism days and commenting on current events.
“I haven’t watched the news since I lost my job and I’d forgotten how engaging it was to dive back into it. There’s plenty of ammunition for articles. I find inspiration strikes late at night after a few beers. It gets the juices flowing.”
Simon is even looking at a return to journalism in the future.
“I love my copywriting job, but I’ve started reconnecting with old colleagues, just to test the waters. You never know what may come up.”
The 2021 Village Cricket Season Starts
PRISTON,UNITED KINGDOM - MAY 2: An aerial view of cricket being played on the Priston Cricket Club field in the village of Priston, on May 2, 2021 in Somerset, England. The easing of COVID-19 restrictions has meant the gradual return of normality in some areas of life, including amateur sport, which was halted during the previous lockdowns. (Photo by Matt Cardy/Getty Images)
A veteran club cricketer is enjoying his ‘Un-Retirement’ in Melbourne.
Peter played for 15 years in the Queensland Sub-District competition (for a number of clubs, veering between B and C grade) before moving to Melbourne for work earlier this year.
He chose to happily retire after the move, instead playing indoor soccer on Wednesday nights.
But come September, Peter started getting the urge again.
“All my old teammates were posting about the new QSDCA season and their pre-season nets. I started to think, ‘maybe I could have another crack?’ The soccer was fun, but it wasn’t the same. I buggered up my ankle mid-year and didn’t even mind missing a few games.”
Pulling his kitbag out of the shed (which luckily he was too lazy to throw out), Peter joined his local VSDCA club (Victorian Sub-District Association) to see if he still had it.
“The leggies came out pretty well and I batted fine. The C grade skipper was impressed and said he’d give me a run in their team. It’s only one-dayers on matting, but cricket’s cricket.”
Though Peter got a huge shock in his first game in early October.
“It was f*****g freezing! I was so cold I had to ask the umpire to wear a jumper over my whites when I was bowling. Bloody Mexican weather! I’m told it gets warmer after Christmas, but we’ll see. Winter was bad enough!”
Peter’s wife, Michelle, is happy he’s back playing cricket.
“I love my husband dearly, but I’m so glad he’s back playing cricket! I got used to having Saturdays to myself and the kids. And he’s always too tired to do anything Saturday night or Sunday, so we basically have the weekend to ourselves again. And when the kids are in bed, I get the telly to myself.”
Peter’s new teammates are happy to have him around.
“He’s a good bloke, a decent bowler, can bat in the lower order, and is reliable in the field,” said his captain Adam. “But he keeps calling that stupid rugby code ‘footy’. But we can keep taking the piss out of him until he starts watching Aussie rules like a normal person!”
The Gurgler presents stories of the Park Cricketer, where we explore the lower reaches of the great game of cricket from the suburban ovals and rural grounds across Australia.
They say there can only be winners and losers in sport, but of course they’re wrong, there’s always the draw, and who doesn’t love a draw where everyone wins. Those winners include canny punters who look for value, and here to help is our Best of World Football Draws Tips for the week.
Our resident draw expert Frankington Stanley runs his keen eye over the many football divisions around the world to find the best draws for you. He’s sort of like the John West of Football draws and hates Dog Salmon and lop sided fixtures. Frankington spent the off season ignoring the Euros to continent-hop across dozens of countries to assess the best league and teams for draws.
Frankington Stanley is not fussy, no country or continent is out of bounds, and the more obscure the better. And some of them are quite obscure. They don’t even feature on the Who Scored website.
So get yourself ready for another weekly serving of the finest Football Draw tips from all over the world, where The Gurgler and Frankington Stanley take the stale out of stalemate.
It’s all you can eat draws. Grab a spoon.
DRAW OF THE WEEK
Here is the best of the best draw tips for the week. Grab the pen, and your wallet.
PREMIER LEAGUE – NOTTINGHAM FOREST v CRYSTAL PALACE
ODDS – DRAW $3.50
FORM / STATS – Five of the last six games between these sides have ended in a draw. Not enough for you eh? How about Nottingham Forest’s four draws from their first seven games. Or Crystal Palace’s failure to win any of their first seven games that feature three draws.
OTHER DRAW SPECIALS
SCOTTISH PREMIER LEAGUE – ST JOHNSTONE v ROSS COUNTY
ODDS – DRAW $3.30
FORM / STATS – The last two games between these sides have ended in a draw. One of them was 3-3, so draws don’t always mean dull. St Johnstone haven’t drawn a game at home this season. They also haven’t won a game either, so maybe will settle for a point. Ross County haven’t won a game away either, but do have two draws from their three away games. Boxes ticked.
Poland – Ekstraklasa – Korona Kielce vs Piast Gliwice
ODDS – DRAW $3.00
FORM / STATS – Three of the last four games between these Polish superpowers have ended in a draw, including the last two matches.
VALUE DRAW OF THE WEEK
If $3.00-$3.50 isn’t long enough odds for you, here is Frankington Stanley’s value draw bet of the week.
LA LIGA – ATLETICO MADRID v LEGANES
ODDS – DRAW $4.75
FORM / STATS – Leganes have drawn more than half of their games this season in La Liga (5/9) and are dangerously perched just above the bottom three. Los Pepineros have also drawn their last three games in a row and have drawn 4/5 away this season. Atletico have drawn of their four home games this season while only conceding one goal. If that’s not enough, the most recent game between these sides ended 0-0.
UK FOOTBALL DRAW SPECIAL OF THE WEEK
With so many divisions, there should be so many draws to choose from. Frankington Stanley knows draws in the UK and serves up his finest.
LEAGUE TWO – ACCRINGTON v BARROW
ODDS – DRAW $3.50
FORM / STATS – Just 80 miles apart these two teams in the north west of England, so you’d expect their games to be close. And so the last two games have proven having ended 1-1. On a technicality, it’s three in a row, and the third last game ended 2-2 in regular time. Throw in Accrington’s underwhelming three draws from five home games this season so far, and the vibe says draw.
EURO DRAW SPECIAL OF THE WEEK
Some have accused us of picking easy leagues for our draws. First of all, how dare you, secondly we introduce our Euro Leagues draw of the week, where we scan the four biggest leagues in Europe for the finest draws. It could be Serie A, La Liga, Bundesliga, or Ligue 1, but what it will always be is a quality eye for a draw.
ITALY SERIE A – GENOA v BOLOGNA
ODDS – DRAW $3.20
FORM / STATS – Serie A is always good for a draw. Bologna certainly are so far this season with five draws from their seven games. And make that four draws from their last five games too. Their opponents Genoa are going that well either, in fact they are in the bottom three. So while they only have two draws from their seven games so far, they may well settle for a draw given their ladder position. As for the H2H, two of the last four games ended in a draw. They may have been at Bologna and not Genoa, but you can’t be too choosy. But you can choose the draw.
If people are honest with themselves, no one really likes International football outside the World Cup, only the real football nerds and expectant England fans get into the continental cups, and the interruption to the regular leagues that everyone knows and loves is a genuine pain in the arse. Why should qualifying for a tournament take up to two years? That’s what the Wooden Spooners Sports Analytics team have got their collective minds together and come up with a Knockout Football World Cup.
With less international football you can spread the football league out, allow teams to take the cups seriously, or not, or even end the season early. Hopefully to coincide with a tonne of Formula 1 races. Give the players a chance to have an off season after their clubs (who complain about too much football) send their players around the world for some meaningle$$ international friendlies. Although, we are realistic that mid-season friendlies are probably not going to go away, but let’s give them more meaning.
But how does the Wooden Spooners Knockout Football World Cup work you ask? Well we’re glad you asked.
Essentially every game of the World Cup would be live. No draws allowed. One winner, one loser, move on. We love a good draw and do a weekly piece on draws when we can be bothered, but we don’t need them for a World Cup.
And everyone loves a penalty shootout, except for goalkeepers, advertisers and England fans. So why not give the fans a chance at what they want to see with every game. And with a no-draw guarantee, there’s no playing to share the points. The Knockout Football World Cup is selfish. Uncompromising. Hard. True, but fair.
The whole thing is based on FIFA World Rankings too, at a cut off designated by FIFA, and potentially able to be influenced by countries holding one of those sacks with a dollar sign on it.
So that means any international leading in the four years of a Football World Cup matters. And the better teams you beat, the higher your ranking climbs. No more qualifying groups bashing up San Marino, the Faroe Islands and Scotland.
The knockout tournament starts with one game, due to the FIFA rankings having an odd number, so that means the worst and second worst teams in the world play each other. It worked for the NRL in 2024 with Spoon Bowl, so why not the biggest sporting tournament in the world. Sorry Olympics.
From there it gets a bit complicated to reduce the teams to an eventual total of 64 teams for an express Knockout Football World Cup. It’s a bit like the FA Cup in England where the top two divisions are held back until round three.
But we worked it out below in a hopefully easy-to-read table.
The big thing is being in the top 48 to get into the sharp end of the Cup without too much effort. Much like most of European World Cup qualifying.
KNOCKOUT FOOTBALL WORLD CUP FIXTURE PLAN
Some might say that it is a ridiculous amount of games. And of course it is. But more is more when it comes to the Football World Cup. Fans can’t get enough. TV companies will pay more for more. And FIFA will need to install a bigger safe. Much like the one Scrooge McDuck swims around in. Maybe bigger. Room for swimming though.
But with more games hosting becomes harder. But that presents an opportunity. Hosts would no longer be a country, but a continent. With the role shared around every World Cup. Not just handed around a small group of countries who have enough bribe money.
It would truly then become a World Cup, as every nation eventually gets to hold a World Cup over a cycle of 10 World Cups.
So many boxes ticked. So many reasons to make the greatest sporting tournament even better.
Faster than a Spurs defender, less reliable than a VAR decision, harder than a pack of Millwall supporters after a few pints, it’s the EPL Donkey who is back for another week with a Routemaster of opinion, and this week’s Premier League Week 8 Tips.
Putting the ass in sass, the EPL Donkey offers his thoughts on the week that was or could be or will be, often with little to do with football, before launching into his Premier League Week 8 Tips for the punters and fans.
The EPL Donkey’s Weekly Rant
Ahh, the Premier League is back. Not that I haven’t enjoyed myself in the meantime. Not by watching meaningless international football that few care about, but by watching the Euros of Cricket. No game in the European Cricket Championships is meaningless. They are all good. And if you didn’t know Belgium and Norway play cricket, then you’re missing out.
Even Greece play Cricket. Not sure if they can beat England at Cricket, but they sure can at Football.
At least the England loss means that Pep is more likely to take the England job than before, and therefore Man City will be less likely to win the title every year. Nothing against Man City, but someone else would be nice.
Taking the England manager role must be the hardest job in football. Well aside from being a steward at a Millwall game, one of those Soccer Saturday pundits up in the roof of a League Two game stadium in mid-February during a storm or the referees boss after the weekend’s fixtures. The easiest job in football is of course goalkeeping coach.
Pep taking the England job would certainly lay down a marker for greatness. If he could win a tournament with England then he would have to be one of the greatest managers of all time. It would be even better if he did it with Kalvin Phillips, the player he keeps farming out from Man City. If he couldn’t win a tournament with England he’d still be a manager of greatness who has won a sh!tload of titles.
There I go whingeing about international football only for it to ruin this week’s Premier League musings. Oh well, I’m not the only hypocrite in football. But likely to be the only hypocrite donkey in football. For now.
The EPL Donkey’s Premier League Week 8 Tips
SPURS v WEST HAM
Can Ange blow a two goal lead again? Depends on which West Ham shows up. I say the crap one.
Spurs 3 West Ham 0
MAN UTD v BRENTFORD
Man Utd have won six games in a row at home to Brentford. If Man Utd lose this one the manager will need an escort home. Or a new stadium. Brentford to score in the first minute again to really annoy the locals. Or Man Utd fans.
Manchester Utd 2 Brentford 1
IPSWICH v EVERTON
One of these teams really needs a win. I hope Everton are the most disappointed. Please.
Ipswich 5 Everton 0
NEWCASTLE v BRIGHTON
Normally Saturday 3pm games are crap. But this one should be a cracker.
Newcastle 2 Brighton 2
SOUTHAMPTON v LEICESTER
An early relegation six pointer. Or an exit for Saints manager Russell Martin.
Southampton 0 Leicester 2
FULHAM v ASTON VILLA
Another hidden gem of a game in the Saturday 3pm timeslot. Can’t get enough Adama Traore. Wolves are probably saying the same.
Fulham 2 Aston Villa 2
BOURNEMOUTH v ARSENAL
A chance for Arsenal to lead the Premier League table for a day before their rivals play on Sunday. Maybe they’ll win 3-0. Or blow a two goal lead.
Bournemouth 2 Arsenal 3
WOLVES v MAN CITY
Man City can celebrate their win over financial regulations by making Wolves season a little more miserable.
The Premier League returns to bring joy to football fans, well most fans anyway, those that have a team that have at least won a game this season so far. Talking of winning and losing, here are our Premier League Predictions Week 8 that will probably do an equal amount of both.
Each gameweek in the Premier League in 2024-25 we offer up a stat filled prediction preview, with some barely interesting stats and visuals, just enough to bluff your way through various tipping competitions or betting shops.
And stay tuned for the EPL Donkey, who serves up a slightly different view on the Premier League each week.
2024-25 Premier League Predictions Week 8
Barely Interesting Premier League Stats Week 8
Here you’ll find the choicest cuts of barely interesting stats on offer for every fixture this gameweek. Some may assist your tipping, others are barely worth a grunt. Either way, they are all yours.
TOT v WHU – Spurs have won five of their last six clashes v West Ham on a Saturday. The only loss in that run was the most recent game at Tottenham.
MUN v BRE – Man Utd have won six games in a row at home to Brentford. Brentford’s last win in Manchester pre-dates WWII. Although it is one win each and a draw from the three games on a Saturday between these sides since Brentford returned to the top flight.
IPS v EVE – Ipswich (W3 D1) are undefeated in their last four v Everton, from their last two-year stint in the Premier League.
NEW v BHA – Brighton have scored exactly one goal in their last three visits to Newcastle, and not won any of those games (L2 D1). Brighton have won both of their games v clubs north of Birmingham this season.
LEI v SOT – Leicester won both of their games in the Championship v Southampton last season by a combined 9-1. Southampton have won only one game of their last seven at home to Leicester L4 D2 W1. But Southampton have won four of the last five games v Leicester on a Saturday. Four games in that run have been played at Southampton.
FUL v AVL – Aston Villa have won three in a row v Fulham and five of the last six games.
BOU v ARS – Arsenal have won all five games between them and Bournemouth on a Saturday. Bournemouth have only scored in one of those games. Meanwhile Arsenal scored 16 goals across those five games. Arsenal are unbeaten in their last nine v Bournemouth W8 D1, and have lost only once to Bournemouth in 16 games overall.
WOL v MCI – Wolves beat Man City at home last season. Going back to 1998, Man City have won only one of their last six games at Wolves on a Saturday – W1 D2 L3.
LIV v CHE – Prior to Liverpool beating Chelsea last time out, it was five draws in a row between the sides in the league. Liverpool (W3 D2) are unbeaten in their last five games v Chelsea on a Sunday with four of those games being played at Chelsea.
NFO v CRY – The last three games between Nottingham Forest and Crystal Palace have ended in draws. Nottingham Forest (W3 D1) are yet to lose to Palace on a Monday.
Premier League Week 8 H2H Stats
Here are the H2H for Week 8 of the Premier League.
General Premier League Season Stats
This is where we put the current season stats. With only a few games played, this is about the most interesting we can find for now. But stayed tuned for more and better.
A specialist horror movie streaming service has introduced controversial new feature.
The P***y Cuts is a sub-channel on the Hacksaw Plus streaming channel – it features edited version of the most violent and gory horror movies.
“On the P***y Cuts channel, the movies are played in full but the violent/gory scenes are replaced by a screensaver of the movie’s poster, section of the movie’s score, with trivia playing across the bottom to keep viewers engaged until the gore finishes,” said Corey, the head of marketing of Hacksaw Plus.
Corey got the idea when talking to his brother about the Terrifier series.
“My brother’s fascinated by the success of that series, but can’t stomach ‘extreme’ horror movies, so will never watch any of the Terrifier movies,” said Corey. “So I thought, ‘what if there was a way that squeamish people could enjoy movies like Terrifier, Hostel, the Saw series, and The Human Centipede.'”
Though the new feature has been panned on the Hacksaw Plus social media pages, with the majority of commentators saying that “if people can’t cope with the extreme violence in horror movies, then they shouldn’t bother watching”, and accusing the service of “selling out to the woke agenda.”
“These horror elitists are clueless!” said Corey. “the P***y Cuts is an optional service! Every movie on our platform is still available in full and unedited for the ‘real’ fans to enjoy. They’re free to ignore the P***y Cuts if they want to. But if it gets us a few more subscribers, then it’s done its job!”
So another NRL season is done and dusted, and with the usual end result in the Penrith juggernaut claiming the crown, but is there more to learn for next season? Or is there just time to absorb what was another fascinating year of rugby league. Either way, here is our comprehensive 2024 NRL Season Stats by Team.
Our 2024 NRL Season Stats by Team has the key visuals of NRL stats from the 2024 NRL season, along with a bunch of barely interesting points that The Gurgler used to be popular for. Or more popular we should say.
The stats are mainly for the regular season, and there are more interest points for some teams than the others. That’s because some teams are more interesting than others. For good and bad reasons.
So if you like your stats with lots of colour and way too many, settle in for our 2024 NRL Season Stats by Team.
2024 NRL Season Stats by Team
PENRITH
Best team of the modern NRL era, and although four premierships will be hard to top in this modern Salary Cap era, you wouldn’t bet against Penrith from bettering themselves. You could argue they weren’t as good in 2024 as previous seasons, and the NRL Grand Final wasn’t the greatest game, but that means bugger all when you win premierships.
Penrith never led the competition at the end of any round in 2024.
Penrith had the best night record this season at 73%. Two of their losses were to Melbourne. In the regular season that is.
Penrith and Melbourne had the best record v Qld sides this season with W5 L1. The Roosters lost only once as well from five games. North Queensland were the team to feature in all of those teams’ only losses to Qld sides.
Penrith lost all four games in the regular season to teams outside of Qld and NSW. They won the one that mattered in the finals series.
Penrith’s W12 L2 or 86% win rate v NSW sides this season was the best effort by any club.
Penrith scored the fifth lowest total of points at home this season.
Penrith ran for the most metres in the 2024 regular season, plus did that both home and away.
MELBOURNE
Melbourne are as much of a factory of talent as Penrith. Two differences though. Melbourne’s isn’t local talent, and how could it be, most of Victoria think they play rugby union. And secondly, they don’t win as often. But they did set a decent benchmark, and as ever with players either recycled or ones they’ve developed themselves. They won the minor premiership and were a consistent force all year. Beaten on Grand Final night by a team that just knew how to win. Like Penrith, you know they’ll be back among the top sides again next year. Opposition clubs and Storm assistant coaches beware.
Using ladder position going into the game rather than end of season ladder position to determine top half/bottom half……Melbourne played more bottom half teams than anyone else – 18 games of their 24 in 2024. Their winning record was at least 15/18.
Melbourne won the most games after Magic Round with 11 wins from 16 games with two byes. Roosters and North Queensland ended up with the same points though, courtesy of an extra bye.
Melbourne took the competition lead in only Round 13, but never gave it back. In all, there were five competition leaders this season. North Queensland (Round 1, 3), Canberra (Round 2), Dolphins (Round 4, 5), Cronulla (Round 6-12).
Melbourne had the best win record on a Saturday this season with 78%. Their two losses from nine Saturday games were against the Sharks and Dragons at home.
Using 4pm as the final kick off time to qualify for a Day game….Melbourne won all four of their day games in 2024.
Using ladder position at the time of the game, Melbourne had the best record v bottom half teams this season with 83% win record. They also played the most games v bottom half sides too. Bulldogs were next best with W9 L2.
Melbourne scored the most points at home this season with 348. Just six in front of the Roosters, and a further three in front of Manly.
Melbourne made the most Line Breaks in 2024 with 158.
Melbourne made the fewest tackles this season, followed by Parramatta.
Melbourne and the Roosters had the most half time leads this season with 17/24.
Melbourne scored the first try in 16 games this season, which is the best record of any team. The record for wining after scoring the first try was 65.2%.
ROOSTERS
Unsurprisingly like a chicken, the Roosters were hot and cold in 2024. Blitzing teams on their good days and looking quite ordinary on others. Based on that no one ever seemed to really take them seriously for the title, and so it is how it ended up.
The Roosters and Penrith had the best Friday record this season with 83% or W5 L1. Roosters only Friday loss was to the Bulldogs and Penrith’s was to Melbourne in Round 1. The Roosters loss saw 56 points scored, Penrith’s loss saw only eight points scored.
Roosters scored the most points in the regular season in 2024. And the most away from home.
The Roosters conceded the fewest points at home this season.
Roosters were the only team in 2024 to make more than a thousand Tackle Breaks.
Roosters were the only team this season not to win when trailing at half time.
Roosters 30.0 average points on a Saturday was the best record in 2024.
Roosters gave away the most penalties this season. But did concede the second fewest Ruck Infringements behind the Warriors.
CRONULLA
At least they broke their finals duck, but another season of solid top four including leading the competition for seven straight weeks ended without being a serious title threat. Sadly, Nicho Hynes wore most of the blame and looks worse for it. Perhaps he can leave and we can start disliking the Sharks again.
Cronulla had a 100% win record on a Sunday this season from seven games.
Cronulla’s 44-0 win over the Gold Coast was the biggest away win of the season. The Sharks were involved in the second biggest away win of the season when Penrith flogged them at Shark Park by 42-0.
Cronulla won the most games after trailing at half time with six this season. And they also won three times when the half time score was level.
Cronulla’s 19 second half wins in 2024 was the best record by four wins.
Given they had a 100% win record on a Sunday, it is no surprise that Cronulla also average the most points scored on a Sunday this season.
Cronulla’s 42-0 loss to Penrith in Round 12 was also the worst effort for Total Run Metres in a single match by any team this season. Not surprisingly, it doubled at the worst effort for Post Contact Metres in a game too.
Cronulla’s 42-0 loss to Penrith in Round 12 was one of two times this season where a team made zero Line Breaks. The other was Gold Coast’s blank in the 44-0 loss to Cronulla.
Cronulla scored the last try 19 times this season. The competition’s best effort.
NORTH QUEENSLAND
North Queensland were one of the hardest teams to tip this season, winning when it was thought otherwise then losing games most thought plenty winnable. The Cowboys went on a good late run to the season, but fell short in a timid finals loss to the Sharks in the second week of the finals.
North Queensland were the best post Origin team with their W6 L1 record the best from Cronulla (W5 L2 B1) and Melbourne/Penrith (W6 L2).
Using ladder position at the time of the game, North Queensland and Penrith had the best record against top half teams in the regular season with 70% or W7 L3. Cronulla were only just behind with W9 L4. Meaning they played three more games v upper half teams than Penrith and North Queensland.
North Queensland in Round 24 and Melbourne in Round 27 conceded the most Ruck Infringements in a single game with seven.
Kyle Feldt scored the first try five times this season and holds the 2024 player record for doing so. He has the last try scoring record too with five also.
MANLY
Manly flew under the radar into the top eight and got as far as week two of the finals, which was a decent end result, and not surprising given their mascot is a Sea Eagle.
Manly had a 0% win record on a Thursday this season from their two games, along with Newcastle, Cronulla and St George Illawarra from two games.
For the second season in a row, Manly were involved in a draw.
BULLDOGS
Most picked the Bulldogs to improve this season, but very few would have picked them to do so well. One of the best defensive sides in the competition in 2024, their attack improved in the second half of the season, and they looked like a dark horse for the title. A late run of losses killed their top four chances and some momentum. But a decent season given some of the dross of recent seasons.
Using 4pm as the final kick off time to qualify for a Day game….Bulldogs won 100% of their day games in 2024. All seven of them.
Bulldogs had the best home record of the regular season with W10 and L2. Those two losses were their last two home games.
Bulldogs made the fewest Post Contact Metres in 2024, over 2,000 less than Newcastle’s best effort.
Bulldogs and Penrith won the second most games after trailing this season with five come from behind wins.
Despite having the third best defensive record in the regular season, the Bulldogs missed the most tackles in 2024.
NEWCASTLE
Snuck into the top eight after winning their final round game v Dolphins but were mostly anonymous throughout 2024.
Newcastle spent just three rounds inside the top eight in 2024. Importantly one of those three was the final round.
Newcastle scored the fewest points at home this season with 242 points. It was still good enough for a positive points difference however.
Newcastle topped the NRL for Post Contact Metres in 2024.
Newcastle made more tackles than any other side this season.
Newcastle’s 28-24 Magic Round win over the Gold Coast was the best single match effort by a team for Tackle Breaks.
CANBERRA
It was an up and down ride for the team with the NRL’s most unsackable coach, as they drifted in and out of finals contention, but excited fans with a hat trick of wins to end the season. Were tipped to finish last by more than a few, so 9th place wasn’t a bad end result.
Canberra made the fewest Line Breaks in 2024 with 94.
Canberra were one of two sides not to lose a game when leading at half time this season. Canberra’s eight half time leads (and wins) isn’t as impressive as Melbourne’s 19 half time leads.
Canberra’s 21-20 win over the Gold Coast in Round Six was the best single game effort by any team in 2024 for Total Run Metres.
DOLPHINS
2024 probably should have seen the Dolphins play finals football in just their second season, but they fell one win short in the end. And you could have taken that one win from the myriad of great performances that ended in a loss by a few points. Notably v Penrith and Canberra in Golden Point. Still, they need to fix the second half of the season slide, and will have to do it without Wayne Bennett in 2025, which doesn’t happen often. Or ever.
Dolphins are the only to team to have been at the top and bottom of the ladder in 2024.
Dolphins spent just five weeks outside the top eight.
Dolphins had a 100% record on a Thursday this season with three wins from three. Four other teams had a 100% record on a Thursday from fewer games. North Queensland (2), Bulldogs, Gold Coast, Canberra (1).
Dolphins made the fewest Tackle Breaks this season with nearly 300 less than the Roosters. Although the Dolphins were only one behind the Bulldogs and two behind Manly.
ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA
A lot of people tipped the Dragons to come last, except Fox League, who spent the year sucking up his arse, after spending years talking him up to get a job. In fairness, the Dragons did do way better than expected and with a roster that not many teams would be jealous of.
St George Illawarra had the best Tackle Efficiency % in the regular season at 91.65%, just in front of Penrith’s 91.31% and Newcastle’s 91.30%.
St George Illawarra averaged the most points scored on a Friday this season with 32.0 along with the Roosters.
St George Illawarra scored the fewest points on average on a Sunday this season.
St George Illawarra scored the first try on only seven occasions this season. The lowest of any team. They at least shared the last try scoring low point with the Titans on eight.
BRISBANE
Grand Finalists in 2023, outside the eight, busted arse and sacked their coach in 2024. Quite the fall from grace. Some will point to key injuries, the same that happened at every other club, but you could easily point to the Dolphins game in the second last round where victory would have almost secured a finals berth, and they got flogged.
Brisbane sacking Kevin Walters meant the last three teams to lose a Grand Final to Penrith before this season’s decider all sacked their head coach in 2024.
Brisbane won the fewest games of the regular season after Magic Round (three). Granted they had one extra bye. They were equal on points as Parramatta, Wests Tigers and the Dolphins for worst performed.
Using 4pm as the final kick off time to qualify for a Day game….Broncos lost all their day games this season, all five of them.
The Broncos ran for the lowest total of run metres at home this season. A full 3,000 metres less than Penrith did at home.
Broncos made the most errors in 2024, followed by the Cowboys. And in a neat twist for the errors, the other two Queensland sides – Gold Coast followed by Dolphins – made the fewest errors in 2024.
The Broncos conceded the fewest penalties in 2024, just one less than the Dragons.
NEW ZEALAND WARRIORS
The ever-popular Wahs didn’t have a very good season, unable to capitalise on their top four heroics from 2023. There was just never enough consistency throughout the season, and the 66-6 loss to the Gold Coast was one of the shock results of the season.
The Warriors also lost their only Thursday game. It was only their third ever Thursday game. They have yet to win a Thursday game in the NRL.
The Warriors didn’t concede a penalty in Round 12 when they beat the Dolphins.
GOLD COAST
It’s still hard to believe that the Gold Coast thumped the Warriors 66-6, after going back through the 2024 stats. A decent run from Round 16 saw them threatening to make the top eight, and there appears to be green shoots under Des Hasler. But it’s still the Gold Coast, where sporting mediocrity thrives.
Gold Coast and South Sydney were the only two teams not to end a round inside the top eight this season.
Gold Coast had the worst Saturday record this season with 25% or W3 L9. Their 66-6 win over the Warriors broke a run of 13 straight losses on a Saturday.
Using 5pm onwards to qualify for a Night game….Gold Coast had the worst night record in 2024 at 11% or W1 L8. A bit of a surprise that a Gold Coast team can handle things at night.
Gold Coast had the worst record v NSW sides this season with a win rate of 14%.
Gold Coast had the worst home record this season with W4 L8.
Gold Coast’s 66-6 win v New Zealand was the biggest home win of the season. The best four home wins all saw the home side concede six points exactly.
Gold Coast’s 10.0 points per game on a Friday this season was the worst effort.
PARRAMATTA
Saved from last place with a thumping win in the last round spoon bowl, and to be fair Parramatta probably didn’t deserve to come last. Although, it took them until late in the season to win an away game. After they sacked their coach. But it’s now 10th and 15th since losing the 2022 Grand Final.
Parramatta lost their first 10 away games this season, but did relinquish their worst away record to the Wests Tigers by the end of the season.
Using ladder position at the time of the game, Parramatta won more games against top half opposition than bottom half (4 v 3).
Parramatta’s 327 offloads in 2024 was the best effort by over 50 to the next best. Fellow Spoon Bowl contender Wests Tigers were in the top four for offloads too.
Parramatta’s 89.33% was the worst effort for Tackle Efficiency this season.
Parramatta lost the most half time leads this season with seven half time leads turning into losses. Broncos were next worst with five.
SOUTH SYDNEY
It’s almost easy to forget that South Sydney ended up second last and based on large parts of their season they deserved it. The sacked coach worked for a while, but having and not having Latrell Mitchell caused problems. Probably still better off with Latrell playing. But there’s some sad stats here. If Wayne Bennett can’t save them next year then no one can. Or will.
South Sydney had the worst post Origin form with W1 L7 from the Gold Coast and Dolphins W2 L6.
South Sydney had the worst Sunday record this season with no wins from their two games. Just like in 2023.
Using ladder position at the time of the game, South Sydney had the worst record v top half teams this season with a win record of 18%.
WESTS TIGERS
Another wooden spoon for the Tigers, but you could argue they were better than previous splinter filled seasons. Their 2024 season was also filled with Sin Bins as the Tigers were unproportionally punished through the year. The last round Spoon Bowl sealed the deal, but it also a great idea for the NRL going forward. All good things and improvement aside, no improvement next season can’t save the nicest man in rugby league as head coach.
Wests Tigers biggest win and loss came against the same side in 2024. Which was the same as 2023 against the Cowboys.
Using ladder position at time of game, Wests Tigers win % v top half teams (W4 L10) was better than their record v bottom half sides (W2 L8).
Wests Tigers spent the most weeks on the bottom of the ladder, and ended the season there. Their last round Spoon Bowl opponents spent one week in 17th place. Six teams spent at least one end of round on the bottom of the pile, Dolphins (Round 1), Bulldogs (Round 2), South Sydney (9 in total from Round 3 to Round 13), Gold Coast (Round 4, 7 , 15) also spent some time at the end of the line.
Wests Tigers had a 0% win record on a Friday this season from five games. The Tigers also had a 0% win record from five games last season. Their losing run on a Friday is 10 games. And counting.
Wests Tigers 48-24 win over Canberra in Round 16 was quite the surprise. It broke a run of 10 straight losses for the Tigers at Campbelltown. They won their next game there too for good measure.
Wests Tigers had the worst record v Qld sides this season with W1 L5.
Wests Tigers had the most home game grounds this season with four, although one was Magic Round.
Wests Tigers had the worst away record this season with W1 L11.
Using ladder position at the time of the game, Wests Tigers played the most games v top half opposition in 2024 with 14 games.
Wests Tigers scored the fewest points and conceded the most in 2024. They did so away from home too.
Wests Tigers ran for the fewest total run metres this season, over 6,500 metres less than Penrith.
Wests Tigers had the fewest half time leads this season with 5/24. And despite winning seven second halves this season, it was also the worst second half record too.
Wests Tigers scored the fewest average points on a Saturday this season with 17.8. Cronulla and Canberra were the only other teams with a Saturday average less than 20.
Wests Tigers conceded 13 penalties in Round 2 this season, which was a single game record in 2024.
Faster than a McLaren, more expendable than a couple of Daniel Ricciardos, with less point than a pair of Saubers, it’s the F1 Donkey with a unique view on F1 and more. Before each race The F1 Donkey puts the ass in sass and unloads his alternative, slightly unhinged thoughts on F1 including this week’s 2024 Bold US Grand Prix Predictions and more.
The F1 Donkey’s Pre US Grand Prix Thoughts
Three weeks is a long time in F1, and most sports. Well not football, that never seems to end. And three weeks is not and never enough of the European Cricket Championships. But the gap between the last race and the upcoming one is way too long. Especially when they cram in three races in three weeks. And when there’s too long a gap, people fill it with rubbish. Like the many, many Daniel Ricciardo stories, and continued coverage of McLaren team orders, and of course no coverage of Lance Stroll. Because he sucks.
And you know who else suck? Red Bull.
They have become more Eastenders than Championship contenders, with the handling of the team that lost one race in 2023 almost laughable, if it weren’t so funny to see them not winning.
Of course like any good (bad) soapie there’s an evil bad guy, and Helmut Marko plays the Paul Robinson so well. Both are so ruthless, yet successful and don’t care who doesn’t like them. And most don’t. We picture him sitting in a Lassiter’s style office barking orders and throwing Paul Robinson style hand grenades around the F1 community. We know that Alan Dale wouldn’t approve with the sternest of looks aimed at Helmut Marko. Although, not sure if Alan Dale, famous for playing Paul Robinson’s father Jim, and less famous for anything after that, is still alive. (Checks Wikipedia) He is.
But is Christian Horner the good guy? He’s no Alf. Who is? Maybe Home & Away’s Alf could do a better job running Red Bull. Sure there’d be more flamin’s, and other G Rated cursing, but Alf wouldn’t be putting up with rubbish either. Running the Red Bull team like he runs the Summer Bay Surf Club. Alf wouldn’t have allowed anyone else to win a race in 2023. Certainly not anyone from Yabby Creek, or having any association with the River Boys. And Sergio Perez would have been gone a long time ago. Alf isn’t putting up with his mediocrity.
One does wonder who the F1 driver is that would be one of the Rivers Boys. Probably Esteban Ocon, he seems to be rebellious type that doesn’t care who likes him or not. Former Red Bull protégé Dan Ticktum certainly would have been a River Boy. Angry, angry young man. But entertaining and fast.
So clearly Red Bull are going to have to settle for Horner over Alf. But should they? No. If anyone is to blame for Red Bull sucking this season it’s him. Anyone who creates a situation that makes Adrian Newey leave, Max Verstappen angry and Daniel Ricciardo given a cardboard box coffin style F1 career send off a race before the USGP where the Australian is more popular than 50 Spice Girls shouldn’t be still in charge.
But I curse Red Bull and their handling of all their drivers in 2024. It has created a glut of endless driver this and Jericho that stories throughout the season that I’m sick of. I certainly don’t like the cut of any of their jibs. Although most won’t know what a jib is, the fact that it is a Red Bull jib means that those not in the know won’t like it regardless. Those that know jibs would certainly not approve.
Red Bull as a team and the soap opera that has ensured has made Max Verstappen 20 times more likeable this season. And he’s not an easy person to like. Unlike Sergio Perez, who is as likeable this season as last. And that equilibrium is generous.
But what can we do? Seems we’re all stuck with their BS for a while longer, which is coincidental given the half of their name is in the word bullsh!t. Maybe that should be their 2024 Season Review book title. If teams do that anymore. What a shame social media has destroyed the book. Maybe Red Bull owners will end up being sick of everyone’s sh!t (bullsh!t of course) and sell the team for a couple of billions (multiple currencies available) to people who can’t afford to cheat European football any longer.
Then Red Bull can go back to doing what Red Bull do best. Sponsorship insane sports people doing insane things that only Red Bull can. Like pole vaulting over the Amazon River. Like a Jet Pack race across the Tasman Sea. Like nail gun catching. Like some kind of fire walking World Championship or Volcano diving.
All of those are insane, yet somehow feel safer than being around the Red Bull F1 team at the moment.
The NRL Donkey’s Bold 2024 US Grand Prix Predictions
And here they are, in a convenient team by team format, so you can ignore Kick/Stake/Sauber at your convenience. The F1 TV Cameras do.
RED BULL
Sergio Perez to miss out on Q3. Max Verstappen limited to fifth place and unleash an epic post-race spray.
McLAREN
Lando Norris wins the main race from pole. Oscar Piastri win the Sprint Race.
MERCEDES
Lewis Hamilton claims sabotage as his car break with ten laps to go while in second place. Of course George Russell steals that podium.
FERRARI
Americans to mis-pronounce both Charles Leclerc and Carlos Sainz’s names.
ASTON MARTIN
Lance Stroll to run into someone. Perhaps of the Alpine’s. They don’t seem to care anymore.
RB VISA CASH APP
Liam Lawson to underwhelm, proving it’s the car after all. Yuki Tsunoda to swear t someone on the radio.
ALPINE
The other Alpine car blows their engine. Sabotage from the French engine builders after they were told to shove the 2026 engine up their …… by the Alpine bosses.
WILLIAMS
Both make Q3, one scores points, undecided which one yet.
HAAS
Nico Hulkenberg to pull out one of those special laps and qualify fourth. Kevin Magnussen to steal 10th on the last lap.
SAUBER
To make little to no difference.
F1 2024 Season Stats
And some proper stats to ensure this is more of an F1 article.
