The Gurgler’s own podcast has made it to episode 3. We could claim it’s three times as good, three times as funny, and three times better for you than our nearest compeditor. And we will.
Derek Ottoman is back with guest host Forrest Glenn.
This week the Crap Fantale returns, so does Crapotheticals. We introduce Are They Dead? with a blast from the past. Overall (pardon the pun) is a welcome new segment.
There’s NRL, AFL and other sports updates and plenty of World Cup bitesize updates (pardon the pun).
Plus the usual array of banter and uncomfortable silence that you’ve all come to accept and expect with The Gurgler Live.
Welcome to a bite sized edition of our daily-ish round up of the World Cup. Pun intended, but at least we didn’t call it Bite-Gate. Although Jaws 3 is quite clever.
With Luis Suarez and his minders blaming everyone from fellow players, English and Italian media, photoshoppers, global warming, climate change, communism and the lunar effect on tides around the world, it’s hard not to get distracted from the gold on offer on the field.
More nuggets delivered last night/morning with Argentina v Nigeria a high quality game. Messi finally putting doubts on his World Cup class to bed and Nigeria making it through to next round despite the loss. The other way around for Bosnia who won but are out. Referees blamed for Bosnia’s exit, and not without some claim. Surprise that Suarez hasn’t blamed the refs too. He probably has but we don’t research that much. Why would we, you can go to quality websites like The Guardian for better coverage.
Oh, by the way, Iran are out.
France couldn’t add another goal to their impressive tally and Ecuador couldn’t add another game to their adventure in Brazil with the 0-0 stalemate enough for a French revival and adios for Ecuador.
Switzerland pulled their pants up after France and pulled down Honduras’s instead with a 3-0 win. Honduras who have now run out of people to kick can take it easy as they bid farewell and auf wiedersehen.
One more batch of double ups this morning with Groups G and H to de finalised. G looks the most delicately placed with any side able to go through. USA were within 30 seconds of being the only confirmed starter.
Here’s the 30 seconds of tips you know you want.
2am – PORTUGAL v GHANA
THEYDON BOIS – Ghana 3-1
HATTON CROSS -Portugal 2-1
KIDD ERMINSTER – Draw 4-4
HARLAND BULWER – Portugal 2-1
2am – USA v GERMANY
THEYDON BOIS – Germany 3-2
HATTON CROSS – Germany 4-0
KIDD ERMINSTER – Draw 2-2
HARLAND BULWER – Germany 3-2
6am – KOREA v BELGIUM
THEYDON BOIS – Belgium 2-0
HATTON CROSS – Belgium 3-2
KIDD ERMINSTER – Draw 1-1
HARLAND BULWER – Belgium 2-0
6am – ALGERIA v RUSSIA
THEYDON BOIS – Draw 0-0
HATTON CROSS – Russia 2-1
KIDD ERMINSTER – Russia 2-0
HARLAND BULWER – Algeria 2-1
The final round of first round games have been completed and another swag of goals have been added to the fest that has already been produced.
4 teams have been given a ticket into the next round and the other 4 a ticket home, although 3 of those were decided last go around.
Spain had way too many superstars for Australia in the battle for respect at the bottom of Group B. Thanks to FIFA for another 2am start and playing two games at once. Although kudos to SBS for their handling of the coverage. Brickbats for no English radio commentary, although the Brazilian coverage is something worth listening to once. The standard 30 second gooooooooaaaaaaaalllllllll was welcomed once delivered.
The other game at the same time was Holland winning the battle of avoiding Brazil in the next round. Although the match ups between A and B in the next round look very interesting.
Mexico who barely qualified for the World Cup look good enough to trouble Holland after impressing so far. Chile will also have less fear than others playing Brazil.
Croatia who were treated poorly at the hands of the ref in game 1 received the square up against Mexico, and were lucky to be in the game as long as they were. Either way they are joining the growing list of teams heading out of Brazil.
Cameroon who were the last to arrive because of a dispute over win bonuses at the World Cup will head home with the least amount of time spent in the country and the least amount of win bonus. The aggregate 9-1 against will be hard to top as the competition’s worst form.
So another 4 games tomorrow with already through Costa Rica playing already gone England. Italy and Uruguay play off for the last spot with Italy only needing a draw to go through. Mark them down for one.
In Group C somehow a team who have yet to score a goal, Greece are still in the hunt for the next round. Columbia are already through, so Japan and Ivory Coast go into battle for the final spot.
Another day passed and the second round of fixtures closed with another WOW of a night/morning football.
The USA v Portugal had all that one could want from a World Cup fixtures…Fast Kicking..and a tie? You bet. Well apart from the low scoring and the absence of either Ariaga. But what a game, USA gone from certain qualifiers to doubtful as they have to spend their next 90 minutes against ze Germans, Portugal have opened the door for the worlds best player to display his world class skills, haircut and pout for a little longer than expected after their 4-0 pantsing by Germany first up.
Belgium, the hipsters choice aka the dark horse aka The Red Devils snuck past Russia who seem intent on boring us to death. Maybe the Russians left all their attacking flair in Crimea. Belgium are through, other spot up for grabs.
Algeria surprised everybody to beat South Korea 4-2 in a game that produced 5-6 more goals than expected, The loss rounds off some very ordinary form for Asian qualified countries,
So now the third lot of games completing the group stage kick off tonight with only a handful of teams not in the running. High profile names amongst them. England have now employed Harry Redknapp to assist in the blame game for the World Cup failure.
Group B features games where teams are hoping to not finish last or meet Brazil in the next round. Group A going to plan sees Brazil as top and one other going through, but this World Cup hasn’t gone exactly to plan yet so who knows…
Before the tips are delivered – here’s the progress scores so far.
The JOHN FASHUNU SCOREBOARD
6 – Win with perfect score, 3 – win, 1 bonus pt for either side correct score win or loss.
HARLAND BULWER 67 points (3 perfect)
KIDD ERMINSTER 61 points (2)
THEYDON BOIS 56 points (2)
HATTON CROSS 55 points (1)
TONIGHT’S TIPS
TUESDAY 2am – AUSTRALIA v SPAIN
THEYDON BOIS – Australia 2-1
HATTON CROSS – Spain 3-0
KIDD ERMINSTER – Draw 1-1
HARLAND BULWER – Spain 3-1
TUESDAY 2am HOLLAND v CHILE
THEYDON BOIS – Chile 2-0
HATTON CROSS – Chile 2-0
KIDD ERMINSTER – Holland 1-0
HARLAND BULWER – Holland 2-0
TUESDAY 6am BRAZIL v CAMEROON
THEYDON BOIS – Brazil 4-1
HATTON CROSS – Brazil 5-0
KIDD ERMINSTER – Brazil 3-0
HARLAND BULWER – Brazil 2-0
So England are finally out officially and let the scapegoating begin. Our tip is Rooney will be an immediate victim, along with Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard, followed a year later by Roy Hodgson who will eventually wear out the patience of English fans.
What more could you ask for from 6 games of World Cup football? Games with plenty of goals, check. Refer to 5-2 France victory over the Swiss. France look very good and thrashed the highly ranked and rated Swiss. A late couple of goals flatter the Swiss, France even scoring a few seconds after the full time whistle. They look like yet another Dark Horse for the final.
Ghana v Germany produced plenty of goals as well, with Ghana not far off a surprise victory drawing 2-2 with perennial achievers Germany. The result doubles for our other qualification to weekend goodness – the upset.
Another upset from Saturday morning was Costa Rica’s defeat of Italy which elevated them into achievers and the second round, and mathematically consigned England to the dumpster. They are top of Group D and can remain there with a draw against England.
We’ve also waived goodbye to Bosnia and after their second losses of the Cup. Honduras will struggle after their 0-2 start also.
Argentina won, which is no surprise, nor was the Messi screamer, however the late 1-0 margin leaves the casual and informed observer wondering if they are genuine title threats considering their easyish group.
Tomorrow morning’s games top off the second lot of games for all teams in the first round. All games from here on in during the first round will played at the same time, producing more football than one knows what to do with.
Here’s more tips, with a score coming once all the teams have played two.
Another day down, and another team have their World Cup dreams dashed. This time it is England who are effectively out of the next phase needing two results to go their way and a win against Costa Rica. The game tomorrow morning between Italy and Coast Rica can seal their fate.
The England game came down to some Suarez gold who (pardon the pun) took a bite out of England’s chances. Let the scapegoating begin. Usual suspects like Manager and Rooney are first.
Japan somehow couldn’t beat a 10 man Greece in the late game, Greece unbelievably looking a better side with one man less. Another 0-0 draw which are starting to creep into the competition as the games become more important.
Columbia booked themselves a ticket into the next round with another win, and look a reasonable outside chance for a surprise semi final berth.
And, another World Cup surprise – our tipsters are actually getting some right after Sunday’s games we’ll bring you the update. For now, help yourself with some more of our finest vintage of tips.
SATURDAY 2am – ITALY v COSTA RICA
Theydon Bois – Costa Rica 2-1
Hatton Cross – Draw 1-1
Kidd Erminster – Italy 2-1
Harland Bulwer – Draw 2-2
SATURDAY 5am – SWITZERLAND v FRANCE
Theydon Bois – France 2-0
Hatton Cross – France 3-0
Kidd Erminster – Draw 1-1
Harland Bulwer – France 2-0
Unsurprisingly one of those teams is Australia. However the performances certainly caught the eye and the future looks bright if we head in the same direction. To be leading Holland is no mean feat and served up great reward for this ridiculous time to get up on a Thursday.
Surprisingly joining the Socceroos out the Group Stage door is the current World Cup holders Spain, who meekly surrended their title against Chile, confirming Australia’s exit at the same time. The last round games in Group B should be interesting with one game involves teams trying to avoid Brazil, the other for both teams to avoid last. Either way it goes Australia have impressed at the start of an era whereas Spain look to have come to their end of their very golden era.
Cameroon also exited along with Alex Song with one of the lamest punches in World Cup history. Plenty dumb though, and plenty out for Cameroon, who were one of the last to arrive through pay disputes only solved by the governing body taking out a loan.
England have their big chance tomorrow to choke in style or become heroes to the home of football. Either way you can see Wayne Rooney being focal point for scorn and joy.
Anyways, here’s your overnight tips.
COLUMBIA v IVORY COAST – Friday 2am
Theydon Bois – Columbia 2-1
Hatton Cross – Ivory Coast 2-1
Kidd Erminster – Ivory Coast 2-1
Harland Bulwer – Columbia 2-1
ENGLAND v URUGUAY – Friday 5am
Theydon Bois – England 3-1
Hatton Cross – Draw 1-1
Kidd Erminster – Draw 2-2
Harland Bulwer -Uruguay 2-1
JAPAN v GREECE – Friday 8am
Theydon Bois – Japan 3-0
Hatton Cross – Draw 0-0
Kidd Erminster – Japan 2-0
Harland Bulwer -Draw 2-2
Another day of World Cup has passed, and our Marhiguitaville blab has lived up to the daily part instead of the ish.
Last night was a meatloaf selection with two out of the three ain’t bad. Iran v Nigeria predictably produced not many goals and secured the honour of the first scoreless draw of the goal fest that has become the World Cup. The Iranian fans seen in early morning restaurants seemed happy with the result, and why not.
The big game unfortunately was in the wee hours of 2am and as such only real diehards got out of bed. Smarter operators used the excellent SBS digital radio service from BBC Five Live to keep in touch whilst asleep. So on the field Germany looks like they have effectively ended the dreams of the greatest player in the world’s greatest tournament. The 4-0 win means Ronaldo may have to take his pout elsewhere in a week or so. Germans looking good to be in the sharp end of the Cup.
The other match at the much more civilised time was a cracker with the fastest goal so far at 30 odds seconds for the USA against Ghana. Ghana then proceeded to attempt to peg the lead back which they eventually did, but not for long as USA took the spoils and put their head in front in the battle of Germany’s bridesmaid.
If you want a more comprehensive report, and who doesn’t, we suggest the Guardian’s daily podcast.
For the finest in tipping please accept the below “expert” picks.
