The Gurgler proudly presents a German GP review in the best possible form. Unlike Luca Badoer it’s in point form. Let other sites waffle.
– Rosberg won. Much like the guy who got caught cheating in the London marathon, we only saw him at the start and at the finish. We can only assume he drove the whole distance until someone can prove otherwise.
– Bottas is the new iceman. Much icier than Kimi has been lately.
– Massa again found a way to crash out when it wasn’t really his fault, but still kind of was his fault. I bet he knocks over a lot of drinks at home.
– Hamilton had an eventful race. I particularly enjoyed Sutil turning in on him when Hamilton sneaked past – “Sorry, I didn’t see you there. Just like I when didn’t see you there when I needed you to testify in my defence when I glassed that Lotus guy”
– Riccardo is the real deal. He got trumped at the start, but he’s proving that he’s just as fast as Vettel, and ever so good in close quarters combat. Great defence against Alonso. Except maybe Hulk or Bottas, there’s no one else in his age group that could go that hard against Fernando and not make a complete hash of it.
– Rookie Kyvat made a rookie error with that horrible overtaking attempt. Then destroyed the evidence in the flames.
– Kobayashi’s entertainment value is wasted in a Caterham. He needs a car with at least some potential of getting close enough to another car for a kamikaze attempt.
Many people think the US Masters is the premium golfing tournament of the year, and they are right with it’s perfectly manicured fairways, traditional Augusta home and Green jackets.
Even though the British Open lacks such qualities, it still has enough of everything to warrant best of the rest of Golf tournament, and that’s when it’s not played at St Andrews.
Called up to host this year’s blast is Royal Liverpool, which is your typical British Open layout which usually favours the European based players rather than the US based pros, which is a good change, and usually throws up some surprises with never-heard-winning going close, or champions like Watson and Norman turning back time.
However, some of the very finest golfing chokes of all time happen in this tournament. Who can forget Jean van der Velde choke in 1999 or one of the Gurgler’s heroes Rod Pampling leading the first round and not making the cut. Unfortunately Rod won’t be appearing at this shindig to amends.
And so, without Pampling in the field we have our eyes only on one man.
No doubt regular readers of this website will know exactly who we are talking about, in fact he’d still be our number one man anyway.
It can only be the one and only Miguel Angel Jiminez. The world’s greatest sportsman is always a good show in majors, and especially in Britain, and with recent form at the Masters, the Gurgler’s hand are rubbing with anticipated glee. The reduction in usual price to just $81 means there’s more than a few shrewd punters and fans of the Spaniard.
Can he do it? Of course he can. Look out for his infamous warm up routine that the BBC seem to keep a spot in their broadcast for every year. Why wouldn’t they. The only golfer to give back as much as he takes from golf. Our hero. In case he stalls we supply some other roughies below for your consideration.
MIGUEL ANGEL JIMINEZ $81
THOMAS BJORN $51
ROSS FISHER $201
GRAHAM DE LAET $141
With currently not enough pies for our finger to be placed into, we now branched into live events and celebrations for your consideration.
We aim to provide the highest quality of entertainment, sporting events, and conventions to give the punter what they want.
Our many reader will be lining up to attend all our wonderful events.
This week we bring you the finest in amateur boxing, giving you the bouts that you and everyone have been demanding for decades.
Mike “Now You See It” Meade vs Rob “3 Strikes” Brough is the headline act, and how could it be anything else. The best perm in show business deceives others as a ready made pugilist ready to kick ass is closer to the truth. Mike Meade will know the Line 3 position 6 moves in the ring, but will it be enough against the former Family Feud man. The survey says Brough.
On the undercard are quality bouts which could be the main event on any other night. The No Pants Trophy will decide once and for all which mute pantless character has the vest boxing skills.
Down the card is a perfect match of Dexter v Melvyn. The people’s boxer Dexter will have the crowd on his side, but that won’t stop the Melvynator unleashing his brand of robotic assault.
Finally we will see whether the Mulligrubs face has the bite to back its bark. The lack of evidence of arms means it will be a tactical bout.
$10 per person or a special $30 family pass which includes 2 adults, 4 children, 2 infants,2 parents in law, 1 mistress, 1 third wheel and1 awkward other family member who another family member has insisted you take them along as they needed to get out of the house.
So it’s finally here. The end of this article. Well not quite there’s still one to go after this one. Oh, you mean the final is finally here (pardon the pun).
Well before we get to the Final we have the third place playoff. The game that neither team wants to play, and that seems to reward mediocre performance in the semi finals. Although, mediocre is a little unfair to Holland who were involved in one of the most boring scoreless draws in World Cup history. Mediocre is probably a little generous to Brazil. The 7-1 pantsing by the Germans was as pitiful a performance from any team at this stage of any tournament of any sport ever.
Despite all the hoo-hah around the why bother of the third playoff game, it is usually if not always a much better game than the final. Free of the shackles of disappointment once the cars have stopped burning, teams usually attack around the clock and goals are the reward.
Onto the final which is usually not quite the game to finish off a tournament. Germany have destroyed a few teams on their way to the final, most memorably was the aforementioned 7-1 Brazil defeat. Argentina have relied heavily of Messi goodness to get them this far, and even then it is just the occasional piece of brilliance that Messi can produce when allowed.
In general terms it is the team machine of Germany vs an Argentina with some brilliant players. For the English fans it’s a choice of Falklands vs WW II. For the rest of us, who knows.
It’s hard to judge who will grab the top prize, but that certainly won’t stop us delivering our final tips of the World Cup to you.
HOLLAND VS BRAZIL
Theydon Bois: HOLLAND 4-2
Harland Bulwer: HOLLAND 3-1
Kidd Erminster: HOLLAND 2-0
We’ve been accused of talking too much sport on this website. Sure we celebrate the forgotten, but it’s usually sport related.
Well, you’re right, it is about time we start delving into the world of forgotten music, and my it is a bottomless pit of goodness. Richard Wilkins approved of course.
What better way to take a magical miserly tour back through the back catalogues than use the 100% Hits track listing from each year and pick our favourite five forgotten artists. Time will look back on 100% Hits as THE reference point for popular music historical studies.
It also acts as a warning to remember that something that is so now, become so yesterday, and then a Gurgler favourite not long after that.
Each week or when we can be bothered, we'll feature a new year from the book of 100% Hits. There's youtube footage and polls to make it the complete intercraptive music page of all time.
The new page is in the menu, but if you are some kind of lazy bugger or it doesn't work, the link is below.
It was once suggested to the laughter and tssking of f1 experts and forum warriors that sprinklers should be introduced into races at random times for excitement. Whilst it’s hard to argue for sprinklers one certainly can’t argue against when a few raindrops fall in qualifying that a great session is almost certain and the race with a jumbled grid that follows usually is a cracker.
A jumbled grid we sure have for tonight’s race. First of all the silver cars which have the championship to themselves are both not on the front. Some normal transmission with rosberg on pole and the ham making an error this time tactically in qualifying. At the back is the biggest surprise, well apart from the newly bought and sold cleanskin caterhams dead last and plus one, the Ferrari and Williams teams went out too late combined with mistakes and find themselves with plenty of opportunities to run into the usual crash merchants that dominate the midfield.
P.s. for caterham it’s really great to see the names kolles and albers back in F1. It’s been too long.
Marussia will almost be disappointed that a late yellow flag caused by another sauber mistake (one in final minute for each driver in Q1 and Q2) cist them a chance at Q3 glory. And given how that session turned out anything could have happened.
Q3 was decided by the very last section of the track being fast in the very last minute rewarding those who stuck it out Rosberg, Vettel, McLaren. Dan and Ham miss out.
Si to our tips which we’re hoping for chaos or more rain.
Welcome. Two days off from the World Cup giving us all time to rest before the big quarter final matches this weekend. Conveniently times for a weekend on the lounge. Throw in the usual NRL and AFL plus the British GP and Tour de France why would you bother sleeping or doing anything else not sport related this weekend.
We have three of our usual tipsters back for the last few games, and two of them bring some good form into the last 8 round. The other is the author of this who has been terrible.
Always time to improve. We’ll start with tomorrow morning at 2am.
Without the need of a stretcher, magical spray bottle or a yellow card for the opposition, there’s no excuse to delay the tips anymore.
SAT 2am – FRANCE V GERMANY
THEYDON BOIS – France 3-1
KIDD ERMINSTER – Draw 1-1 (Germany 5-4 pens)
HARLAND BULWER – Draw 2-2
SAT 6am – BRAZIL v COLUMBIA
THEYDON BOIS – Draw 0-0
KIDD ERMINSTER – Brazil 2-1
HARLAND BULWER – Brazil 2-1
SUN 2am – ARGENTINA v BELGIUM
THEYDON BOIS – Draw 0-0 (Argentina 2-0 extra time)
KIDD ERMINSTER – Argentina 2-1
HARLAND BULWER – Argentina 2-1
SUN 6am – HOLLAND V COSTA RICA
THEYDON BOIS – Holland 3-0
KIDD ERMINSTER – Holland 4-2
HARLAND BULWER – Holland 1-0
Episode 4 is here, and sometimes the weeks write themselves.
We discover the terminator bubbling craze, remember our double crap fantale, discuss a crapothetical that was doubly crap and various other banter that makes little or zero sense.
And, do you remember kids TV Show Wombat? We certainly do.
But if you've heard the previous three there's no surprises. If you haven't – eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding, eat the pudding.
We won't promise it's the best 40 odd minutes of podcast you'll ever hear.
With already more goals than the last World Cup and more great games than the last three put together it is a World Cup to savour and not miss a game.
Somehow a 0-0 can be one of the most entertaining games of the World Cup, and still included another 3 goals before extra time finished, and possibly should have included another from USA late on to take the game into another shootout.
Earlier Argentina continued their run of victories without impressing a great deal, but at this stage wins are all that matters. The Gurgler’s tips for an Argentina v Brazil final is still live.
The second round games have seen some great goalkeeping, which so far have been just as important as the superstars and strikers. There also have been very brave performances from teams who were unlikely second round compeditors and pushed much more fancied opposition.
The second round has also provided a window into our hopeless organisation of tips, but we can assure you they were received, but not displayed. We will do better from here on in.
Talking about better, here’s the progress scores on the JOHN FASHUNU SCOREBOARD.
OK, so we missed the daily part and went back to the ish.
Hey it’s not as if anyone reads this anyway, so we can do as we damn please. It’s not as if we have hundreds of people RobbenArjening, sorry I mean falling over to read our daily tidbit of World Cup.
Well halfway through the Round of 16 and the football has continued on from the first round in excitement.
Two games to nailbiting penalty shootouts, 1 game with late goals and controversy, and the other a Columbian masterclass over a toothless (pardon the pun) Uruguay. A team that may have been better served concentrating on the game ahead instead of deciding on which breed of dog ate their homework or which English newspaper they can blame. Suarez’s excuse of falling over with his teeth is leading lawyers all over the world looking for ways around fraud, assault and murder with equally pathetic excuses.
Another thing The Gurgler enjoyed out of the Columbian games was the quality goal from James. But more than that, they enjoyed the different pronunciation of James. Ideas now filtering around the head of how we can improve names like Jack, Steve and Walter with the addition of a Spanish twang.
The hosts got a real scare at the hands of Chile who were unlucky to lose in a shootout, which was one of the least inspiring quality wise, but no less tense than ever. Brazilians breathe a sigh of relief for long enough to realise they have the cup’s form team next to give the host nation heart palpitations.
Holland waited until late and the assistance of yet another Robben dive to beat Mexico. It may well be a penalty, but the extra theatrics makes him easy to dislike and just another nail in the coffin for why the game will struggle to take off in mainstream Australia. Good luck to them though.
Costa Rica and Greece the two most unlikely 2nd round partici[pants were battling for an even more unlikely Quarter Final spot. The game although not a classic in style was as exciting as World Cup sudden death comes. Only one penalty missed after a great save, and looked a likely ending once Costa Rica survived the 20 odd minutes of second half and 30 minutes of extra time with only 10 man.
Anyway, that’s that for now, and here’s this for tomorrow morning. Note we have included the last two days tips for your records. Worth noting that our man Kidd picked the correct score for Costa Rica v Greece and result, and almost got the penalty shootout amount right. Plus another correct score for Columbia.
As ever, for a proper World Cup report – visit the Guardian Football website or their excellent daily podcast. More daily than ours.
TOMORROW TIPS
FRANCE v NIGERIA
THEYDON BOIS – France 3-1
KIDD ERMINSTER – France 3-1
HARLAND BULWER – Draw 1-1 – France win on pens.
GERMANY v ALGERIA
THEYDON BOIS – Germany 3-2
KIDD ERMINSTER – Germany 2-1
HARLAND BULWER – Germany 2-0
PREVIOUS TIPS FOR RECORDS
THEYDON BOIS –
Brazil 3-1 (Wrong), Uruguay 1-0 (X),
Holl/Mex Draw 1-1 (X), Greece 1-0
KIDD ERMINSTER –
Brazil 3-2 (Wrong), Columbia 2-0 (Correct),
Holland 1-0 (Correct Result), CRica/Gre 1-1 (5-4 pens) (Almost total correct)
HARLAND BULWER –
Bra/Chile 1-1 (Correct), Uruguay 2-1 (Nope)
Holland 2-0 (Yep – result), CRica/Gre 0-0 (Result)
