Just five rounds and so little to be decided in the Premier League with the best and worst essentially already decided and just the rest of the top five to be sorted, it’s almost a bit meh. Talking of Europe, our Premier League Predictions Week 34 are here and will need a passport.
Each gameweek in the Premier League in 2024-25 we offer up a stat filled prediction preview, with some barely interesting stats and visuals, just enough to bluff your way through various tipping competitions or betting shops.
2024-25 Premier League Predictions Week 34
Barely Interesting Premier League Stats Week 34
Help yourself to a buffet of barely interesting stats to help pick a winner.
CHE v EVE
Chelsea are unbeaten in 29 league games at home to Everton. There’s been a lot of draws (13) but no wins since 1994. Everton are winless (D2 L3) v big six clubs away this season. Chelsea are unbeaten in their last seven home games (W5 D2).
BHA v WHU
Brighton (W5 D8 L1) have lost just one game in their last 14 games v West Ham. But West Ham have won the last match at Brighton. Brighton are unbeaten this season v the current bottom six teams (W3 D6) with lots of draws at home (W1 D4).
NEW v IPS
The last time Ipswich beat Newcastle in Newcastle in the League, they went on to win the FA Cup. Which like Premier League survival isn’t going to happen this season. The record since 1978 is D5 L6. Newcastle’s record v current bottom six teams in W10 L1. Newcastle have conceded the fewest goals v bottom six teams too with six. Ipswich have won just one Saturday game this season, even Southampton have won two.
SOU v FUL
Southampton are the only club this season not to beat any London side – D3 L9. Southampton have scored the fewest goals v London clubs this season with seven, along with….Man Utd. Fulham’s record against the current bottom six clubs away is W2 D2 L1.
Obscure Fact of the Week: If Southampton lose this weekend v Fulham, it will mean that the last five losers of this fixture at Southampton have been relegated that season. The previous four have.
WOL v LEI
Wolves are unbeaten in six games, have won their last five, and are the form team of the competition. Leicester won 4-0 last time these teams met at Wolves. Leicester have lost just one of their last ten v Wolves on a Saturday (W5 D4 L1). Leicester’s record v current bottom six clubs is W3 D2 L3 and Wolves’ record is W6 D1 L2.
BOU v MUN
Bournemouth are unbeaten in their last three v Man Utd W2 D1. Bournemouth’s record v big six clubs this season is W4 D2 L3.
LIV v TOT
Spurs’ away record v big six clubs this season is W2 L2, Liverpool’s is W2 D1 at home v big six clubs. Liverpool’s 2.5 average points per game on a Sunday is the Premier League’s best. Liverpool are unbeaten is their last 13 games at home to Spurs with a last loss in 2011. There have been 13 goals scored in the last two clashes between Spurs and Liverpool at Liverpool.
NFO v BRE
Brentford are unbeaten in their last three trips to Nottingham Forest. Brentford have won three in a row at Forest on a midweek day. Forest’s games against London clubs saw a return of W5 D2 L3. Brentford have won just once against the top six this season – W1 D3 L7.
General Premier League Season Stats
This is where we put the current season stats featuring form, xG, goals scored and conceded, shots, tackles and more.
We separate the rugby league Wheat/Chaff to present the 2025 NRL Round 7 Team of the Week & Player Stats.
First we have our Team of the Week, which takes some of the key player stats from the weekend and using various scoring methods come up with the best players in their positions from the latest round of the NRL.
Then there’s additional player stats from this weekend and the season that is.
2025 NRL Round 7 Team of the Week
We’ve used the stats for each position and picked the best starting 13 players from the most recent round, the stats and points assigned are explained at the end.
On top of the best starting 13, we also include the best four interchange players of the week. Seeing who has provided maximum impact from the bench.
2025 NRL Round 7 Player Stats Summary
Want to see which players topped the key stats for the latest round of the NRL this weekend?
2025 NRL Team of the Season….So Far
Here’s our stats rolled up into the team of the season so far.
2025 NRL Season Player Stats…So Far
How the Team of the Week works
Want to know how we come up with the numbers to rank the players, the below table should explain hopefully.
Been too distracting by various politicians calling each other liars? Or the Galvin-Tigers saga? Need some last-minute NRL tipping advice? Want something else to blame when the tips go wrong? Well then saddle up for The Gurgler’s Round 8 NRL Ratings and Late Mail.
In a new additional to our stable of NRL stats and tipping products, we have used all the stats we have, smashed them against each other like atoms, and come up with a H2H rating.
It includes this year’s form with a bias because it is this year, but we don’t forget historic stats of the H2H against this week’s opponents, and the ground and day the teams are playing on. Then slice up the scores out of 100% between the two sides. The bigger the percentage, the more likely to win.
2025 NRL Round 8 Ratings
Here are the H2H ratings and winner for Round 8 of the NRL.
Our ratings picked a lot of away teams last weekend and thankfully the last four did to give the ratings a 50% score.
2025 Round 8 Late Mail
BRISBANE v BULLDOGS
Reece Walsh is the big name out of this match, but given his form in most weeks this season it probably won’t be much of a loss. Selwyn Cobbo is a great fullback as well. But despite all the names, it’s hard to overlook 100% winning strike rate of the Bulldogs.
ROOSTERS v DRAGONS
Roosters brought back to reality last weekend v Penrith, while the Dragons keep notching up unexpected wins. Roosters have won the last two Anzac Day clashes and have a great run of games at Allianz on a Friday. While the Dragons have a woeful away record on a Friday and v Sydney teams away. Dom Young being dropped is a surprise unless you’ve been watching Roosters games.
WARRIORS v NEWCASTLE
Warriors have a terrible record on Anzac Day, but that’s probably because they had to play Melbourne in Melbourne for a lot of them. Although, they got their chance on home soil last season and lost to the Gold Coast. Meanwhile Newcastle have an appalling record against the Warriors in New Zealand and nearly as bad a record away to non Sydney clubs on a Friday. The return of Charnze Nicoll-Klokstad seals the deal for Warriors.
MELBOURNE v RABBITOHS
Given the Storm have won 83% of these clashes and are yet to lose in Melbourne v South Sydney, and win nearly every Anzac Day clash, it doesn’t matter what Souths coach Wayne Bennett does with the team against those stats. Latrell Mitchell was logical but tough on the excellent Jye Gray. Nick Meaney is a big in for the Storm.
NORTH QUEENSLAND v GOLD COAST
Gold Coast look to be starting one of those long winless runs they are capable of, and going to Townsville won’t help. The Titans have lost 11 of their last 12 there. John Bateman is no David Fifita, but both are named to return this weekend.
PENRITH v MANLY
Eventually it was going to click and the Roosters were the unlucky victim of a Penrith form rediscovery last round. Manly’s record away to Sydney clubs on a Saturday is pretty poor, but not as bad as their form at the ground for the weekend, they have lost all three games at CommBank Stadium under that name. A Tom Trbojevic return helps Manly, but probably not enough.
CANBERRA v DOLPHINS
Meeting of two teams who have won their last three games, and Canberra have the edge in form at home. The Dolphins away stat of Dolphins have lost seven away games in a row v Non Qld clubs doesn’t help. If the Dolphins win it will be the first time the club has won four straight. Maybe the transfer talk of Jamal Fogarty could be a distraction.
WESTS TIGERS v CRONULLA
Lachlan Galvin is back this week, for the Wests Tigers we confirm. Whether the Tigers and the players accused of bullying can get over the past few weeks will be a tough one. Tigers have a terrible record at Leichhardt on a Sunday. Cronulla have the recent dominance in this fixture, and also on a Sunday.
2025 NRL Season Stats So Far
And if you don’t believe our ratings, then help yourself to a bunch of stats from the 2025 NRL season.
Here’s the best of the NRL Team Stats from last weekend.
2025 NRL Round 7 Review + Round 8 Preview
Here’s the best of our wrap ups of Round 5 and the best look forward to Round 6.
Here are The Gurgler’s 2025 Saudi Arabia Grand Prix Ratings – our way of rating the performances on the track without getting into trouble for swearing.
Our G-Power Rankings goes a little bit deeper than just points scored on the Sunday and has a slightly cooler name than most. We take on board Free Practice, Qualifying, performance in relation to teammate, fastest lap, and a few more stats that are attempting to highlight a driver outperforming the car and/or thrashing their teammate.
Normally we have a season long bunch of stats, but we’re saving that for the end of season review that will be way too long for anyone to want to read. Regardless, here is our shortened version for contractual obligations.
Here are the current overall standings for our Driver of the Year winner – the Martini Medal. Named in honour of one of F1’s most unsung heroes – Pierluigi Martini of Minardi fame.
We have the overall scores as they stand, plus a visual which shows the flow of each driver’s position throughout the season, plus a few points of interest below.
Here is the breakdown of the Driver of the Year points from the most recent race and the season so far. Remembering our ratings go across a whole weekend, so the race winner who may not have had a great qualifying or sprint race may not come out on top.
LATEST RACE RATINGS & DRIVER OF THE YEAR UPDATE
2025 Saudi Arabia Grand Prix Ratings – Teams
This is essentially using the same drivers stats but in reverse for the worst score, but taking out anything that is a H2H between the drivers.
And our annual award focuses on the other end of the grid, highlighting the worst team of the season.
Of course, the worst team of the season award needs to be named after the worst F1 team of all time. And if you want to fund out more about Andrea Moda, follow this link.
LATEST RACE RATINGS
Here is the best of the stats from the 2025 F1 season so far. Which we admit isn’t much, but stay tuned throughout the year for more.
H2H
Early days, but trouble for some drivers.
QUALIFYING
Here’s our qualifying summary with more to come.
FASTEST LAP
The most random of stat to follow, but good filler.
FREE PRACTICE
Some say Free Practice is a giant waste of time, and they are probably right. Regardless here is the average position for each drivers in Free Practice this season. Each round an average of all the sessions.
1ST LAP PROGRESS
OTHER RACE STATS
Fancy knowing who has led the most laps. Or which grid position fills which position at the end of the race. Note: 99 means DNF.
2025 F1 Season Power Rankings – Points Explanation
Here’s how the points work this season. Essentially the perfect race (Win from Pole, Fastest Lap, thrash team mate, best in race etc) should amount to the perfect 100 points.
FIRST LAP GAINS +0.5pts per position gained -0.5pts per position lost.
CHAMPIONSHIP POINTS – 25pts to 1pt as per World Championship – Sprint Race Points added.
BEAT TEAM MATE (RACE) – 10pts (if both finish or other driver got self inflicted DNF)
FASTEST LAP – 5pts – 1pt for top five drivers.
GRID POSITION TO RACE POSITION – formula +/- relative finish to grid
BEST OF THE REST (RACE) – 5pts to 1pt – top five non Mercedes-Red Bull drivers
QUALIFYING – 20pts to 1pt – Grid Position 1 to 20.
BEAT TEAM MATE (QUALIFYING) – 5pts
BEST OF THE REST (QUALIFYING) – 5pts to 1pt – top five non Mercedes-Red Bull drivers
GREAT/GRAPE – 5pts Great 2pts Honourable Mention -2Pts Dishonourable Mention -5Pts Grape
BEAT TEAM MATE (QUALIFYING) Time Gap – Formula for % beaten team mate by
BEAT TEAM MATE (QUALIFYING) Position – 0.5 Pts for every position team mate is beaten by. 0 points for second car.
FREE PRACTICE HERO – 10Pts to 1Pt – Average Position across all three practice sessions.
WIN FROM POLE – Bonus 5 Points
WIN FROM POLE WITH FASTEST LAP – Bonus 10 Points
DNF Not Driver or Team Fault Minus 2 Points
DNF CAUSED BY DRIVER/TEAM INCOMPETENCE Minus 5 Points
SPRINT RACE POINTS – Points 8 to 1 as handed out in the sprint race.
SPRINT RACE CHANGE – 0.5 Points per change in end position to starting position.
SPRINT RACE QUAL – Points 8 to 1 as handed out in the order of qualifying 1st to 8th.
Angrier than a room full of Fox League writers and NRL 360 hosts, slower than a Bunker decision, and testing himself on the open market with a view to leave The Gurgler, it’s time for the weekly Rugby League rant of The Gurgler’s NRL Donkey, who provides his NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 8 Expert Tips as well as offers an alternative, slightly unhinged view full of sass of the world of rugby league and beyond for another week.
The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 8 Weekly Rant
Another week, another boring unhappy NRL player story wanting out dominating the news. But unlike the DCE saga which was as incredibly boring as the player himself, the Lachlan Galvin has some real spice.
Of course Isaac Moses is involved, he usually is. I thought he was banned, maybe he still is, it’s hard to know if you don’t really care. But Isaac Moses does come across as one of the NRL’s great villains. Like Reed Mahoney, The Bunker, the right side of the road when driving a car too fast and on drugs, and of course Buzz Rothfeld.
But maybe I’m wrong and an idiot and Isaac Moses is one of the great wheeler dealers, and maybe he should write a book of the Arts of Dealing or similar, and make a run for president. Not sure which country he could be president of. Can’t be Australia as we only have a Prime Minister and that is being decided as we speak. And as far as I know Isaac Moses hasn’t filled enough cars with petrol, been seen in a hardhat, or gone on tangents about Woolworths and Jesus to be Prime Minister. Or President. Given his love of a deal, perhaps there’s room in MAGA for his services. Or maybe he could be sent to Heard and McDonald Islands by Trump to get the tariffs off the penguins there. I’ve heard penguins are one of the hardest birds to make deals with, and can get quite slappy during negotiations.
Without wanting to get involved too much, Galvin does seem a little ungrateful. Very few players of his age would get an NRL start, let alone stomp around and ask for a pay cheque with six zeroes. He is entitled to look after himself, and I’m sure he has the right mix of investments in his superannuation account, but there is a nicer way of doing it.
And really it is the NRL’s fault to allow such an absurd transfer system where players can sign for another club years in advance and then spend half of that time asking for an early release. It doesn’t happen in most other jobs. If someone signs for another company there’s usually only a few weeks notice, and the person is treated to a modest to underwhelming morning tea where most of the people bought something from the nearby Seven Eleven because the person was pretty unlikeable and they deserve no less. Or instead of the six boxes of Cheezels, one small packet of Cashews and a packet of both Fisherman’s Friend and Anticol, people wanting to leave are told to pack up, get out, and stay out.
But among the press conferences, law suits, NRL 360 diatribes, Buzz Rothfield articles, Fox League exclusives, Gus Gould tweets, angry Facebook posts, team mate memes, Facebook Market Place ads for ex-Galvin Tigers jerseys, and word on the street, there is an idea to come out of the mess.
Instead of players going to all the trouble of stirring up clubs, and looking for releases through agents or lawsuits, but remembering the original club shouldn’t be punished by making a rival stronger, these players wanting out a sent to a spare NRL team.
Like rugby union’s Barbarians team. But unlike rugby union, these players will play a game that doesn’t suck – rugby league.
So anyone in DCE’s, or Galvin’s situation who sign with a club for a season beyond, and who want out, they are forced to play for the NRL Barbarians, and the Barbarians are made to play whoever has the bye each week as a training hitout for the bye clubs. Everyone wins. The wantaway players can play for another club. There’s an extra televised games for broadcasters, and Isaac Moses could get a coaches license and have an entire team of players. If he’s not too busy with penguins that is.
But that’s unfair to the team who has earned a bye.….here’s an even better idea. With the PNG team arriving in the coming seasons, perhaps the NRL Barbarians are made to join the PNG Rugby League weekly competition where they will have to face the Port Moresby Vipers, the Lae Snax Tigers and the many, many other teams that will be setting out to hurt them week in and week out.
This will not only give the PNG teams a taste of NRL quality opposition that will hopefully aid them in becoming a great success in the NRL when they enter the competition, but it could also serve as a deterrent for wantaway players knowing the alternative to contract moaning is getting smashed week in and week out by the ferociousness of the local PNG competition. Hopefully these games will be televised. I’ll pay extra.
Enough of life’s little worries, here’s this week’s expert selections. Although, from memory, and I don’t like to check, the expert tips are going really bad, so ignore these tips if you want.
The NRL Donkey’s 2025 NRL Round 8 Expert Tips
BRISBANE v BULLDOGS
Reece Walsh’s is out for 4-6 weeks, which shouldn’t be too much of an impact on their game, as he has only played one good game in the 4-6 weeks of the season so far. Further upfield, good to see Xavier Willison getting the starting spot he deserves and his form has demanded. Talking of demanding, the Bulldogs six in a row to start the season demands applause, as does their ability to almost fill the Olympic Stadium in Sydney. Good Bulldogs is good for rugby league.
Bulldogs by 10
ROOSTERS v DRAGONS
Prepare your social media to be filled with millions of Lest We Forgets and for the NRL media to tell you a game between the Roosters and Dragons is exciting. It isn’t.
Roosters by 8
WARRIORS v NEWCASTLE
Newcastle have an away record on a Friday that is almost as bad as the Warriors jersey they wore last week. John West confirms they thought the jersey was dog salmon and rejected it.
Warriors by 28
MELBOURNE v RABBITOHS
The most lop sided H2H record in the NRL deserves the most lop sides tip of the week. The Storm’s underpant washing team are on emergency standby for this week’s training after their surprise flogging by the Dolphins. And as if Craig Bellamy will stand for a sniff of last week’s effort.
Storm by 50
NORTH QUEENSLAND v GOLD COAST
Well the Titans have peaked for 2025.
Cowboys by 18
PENRITH v MANLY
The emergency in the west is over, as Penrith flogging the Roosters in the second half of the game last weekend is a return to normal. Manly will probably be thankful they don’t have to go all the way to Penrith for this week’s game, so they save time in discussing how bad they went on the bus home.
Penrith by 34
CANBERRA v DOLPHINS
Considering I thought the Dolphins would be 0-7 at this points and they come into this game having beaten both Penrith and Melbourne in consecutive weeks means this result is less important. We’ll always have that second half flogging of the Storm, and not one, but two Ray Stone tries. And the only person in the world who hated his two tries was the man Ray Stone himself.
Dolphins by 2
WESTS TIGERS v CRONULLA
I’m tempted to pick the Tigers because it’s at Leichhardt and the Wests Tigers need a pick-me-up after a horrible week. I’m not tempted to watch, as there’s just something about a Sharks game on a Sunday that gives me zero interest. Not even 17 Nicho Hynes’ can get me moving.
Prepare for one minute of silence in the NRL this weekend, and that’s just the shock of the Broncos supporters who will have to go without Reece Walsh for four to six weeks. Elsewhere it is Anzac Day Round where traditional rivalries and the NRL’s most lop sided fixtures await. Talking of awaiting, our 2025 NRL Round 8 Tips Predictions & Stats Preview are right here, so wait no longer.
Each week this season we offer up a quick preview glance for each match, throw in a bunch of barely interesting stats, and mix in a pinch of opinion, some spicy tips and you have a rugby league soup with probably more flavour than one could ever need or want. It’s all you can eat NRL stats.
2025 NRL Round 8 Tips
Here are our tips for the week ahead. How did we get to here? By going through all the visuals and stats below.
Our famed barely interesting stats all in the one place for this week of fewer games.
BRISBANE v BULLDOGS
Bulldogs beat Brisbane at Suncorp Stadium last season 41-16. Prior to that Brisbane had won seven straight at Suncorp.
Brisbane have won all five games v Bulldogs on a Thursday at Suncorp Stadium.
Brisbane have a pretty woeful record at Suncorp Stadium on Thursday against everyone else, winning just three of their last 17 at Suncorp on a Thursday.
Bulldogs have won just two of their last 11 away games v Qld sides.
But the Bulldogs have lost all seven away games on a Thursday v Qld sides.
ROOSTERS v ST GEORGE ILLAWARRA
@ Allianz
Roosters have won the last two Anzac Day clashes at the SFS.
St George Illawarra lead the H2H by 2-1 for Anzac Day clashes on a Friday.
Roosters have won seven straight at SFS on a Friday v Sydney team, and last lost in 2017.
Dragons have a dreadful record away on a Friday, they have lost 30/34 Friday games away going back to 2011.
Dragons have also lost 13/14 away games v Sydney teams since 2011.
WARRIORS v NEWCASTLE
@ Christchurch
Warriors have won just two of 14 Anzac Day clashes, although it doesn’t help most of them were against Melbourne in Melbourne. But they have also lost the only two home games on Anzac Day.
Warriors are W4 L4 at Christchurch, but have won the only game on a Friday there.
Warriors are eight wins from 26 matches in New Zealand not in Auckland. They are 1/6 on Friday at non-Auckland.
Newcastle have won just two of the last 17 away games to the Warriors in New Zealand. Plus all three away games on a Friday.
Newcastle have won only four of 21 away games on a Friday v non-Sydney sides.
MELBOURNE v SOUTH SYDNEY
Melbourne v Souths is the most lop sided fixture of all the current NRL teams since 1998 except the Dolphins. Although, they have beaten two of their 0% opponents in consecutive weeks.
Melbourne v Souths with the Storm as the home team is also the most lop sides H/A fixture. Souths winning just one away v Melbourne and that win was at Suncorp Stadium.
So Souths have never won in Melbourne.
Melbourne have won eight Anzac Day home games in a row. But have lost their only home game on Anzac Day on a Friday v Warriors in 2014.
Melbourne have also won 22 of their last 24 home games at AAMI Park, and 12 of their last 13 on a Friday night.
Souths were 2/2 on a Friday this season before their loss to the Bulldogs on Good Friday.
NORTH QUEENSLAND v GOLD COAST
North Queensland have lost four in a row against fellow Qld sides. Plus have lost four of their last five home games v Qld sides.
But they have a great recent home record v Gold Coast winning 11 of their last 12.Cowboys have also notched up eight in a row at home on a Saturday v Gold Coast.
The Cowboys’ home record on a Saturday in general is hit and miss with W11 L8 since 2023. Slightly better at home in general on any day since 2023 with W17 L10.
Gold Coast have lost five away games in a row on a Saturday and lost 13 of their last 15.
The Titans have also only won four of 13 away games v Qld sides on a Saturday since 2006.
PENRITH v MANLY
@ CommBank
The last time Penrith lost five or more in a row in 2019 they went on to win the next seven straight.
Penrith’s record v Sydney teams on a Saturday since 2023 is W6 L3.
Manly have lost their last five away games on a Saturday v Sydney clubs. Plus just three of 15 since 2020.
Manly have lost all three games at CommBank Stadium under that name.
Penrith have lost four of their last five at CommBank Stadium.
CANBERRA v DOLPHINS
Dolphins have lost seven away games in a row v Non Qld clubs.
Dolphins have won only one of six away games on a Sunday v Non Qld sides.
Dolphins have never won four games in a row.
Canberra have won five of their last six games in Canberra v Qld sides on a Sunday.
Since 2020, Canberra have won 13 of 17 home games on a Sunday.
WESTS TIGERS v CRONULLA
@ Leichhardt
Wests Tigers have lost eight games in a row at Leichhardt on a Sunday.
The Tigers have at least won their last two at Leichhardt v Sydney teams in 2024.
Cronulla have won 11 of their last 13 v Wests Tigers. Plus three wins in a row on a Sunday.
Wests Tigers are W6 L4 v Cronulla at Leichhardt.
2025 NRL Season Stats So Far
Here’s the best of the NRL Team Stats from last weekend.
2025 NRL Season Preview Stuff
We’ve done a lot of stuff ahead of the new NRL season, and here it all is.
A great day for Australian F1 fans as Oscar Piastri win the Saudi Arabia Grand Prix and takes the Championship lead for the first time. Talking of firsts, our 2025 Saudi Arabia F1 Grand Prix Result Summary wins the race for covering just enough from the race.
This 2025 Saudi Arabia Grand Prix Result, Laps that Matter summary, Review & Ratings which gives you just enough to catch up with. With just a hint of cynicism, bias, opinion and colour. The perfect bite sized review for those who couldn’t be bothered, or don’t have enough time.
2025 Saudi Arabia F1 Grand Prix Result Race Summary
Didn’t see the race live? Don’t have time to watch the whole race? Here’s where we capture the laps where stuff happened. We write these live as we go, sort of like a minute by minute for the football, but marginally more interesting.
Setting the scene – Like in Japan the McLarens looked dominant and pole position was a mere formality, but Max Verstappen spoiled whatever party McLaren had planned by taking pole position off Oscar Piastri by 0.01 second. Like in Bahrain Lando Norris had an off session, this one worse than previous as he binned it into the wall on his first attempt in Q3, leaving him 10th and even more dejected than after Bahrain. So it’s advantage Oscar, and advantage Max. Further back George Russell continues his great season with third and Charles Leclerc enjoyed his Ferrari more than Lewis Hamilton.
Even further back is Lance Stroll who qualified 16th bit also qualified for the record of the driver most eliminated in Q1. His snipe saying if McLaren drivers were in Saubers for ten seasons they’d have a lot too, and is pure S(T)roll. He forgets that no one as crap as him would still be in F1, Sauber or not, and certainly not in a Sauber for ten seasons. They’d be sacked after two ordinary seasons. Or much less if you drive a Red Bull. No other driver has a rich enough father to keep them in F1 for so long despite a gulf in ability and attitude. Hopefully rumours of a sale of Aston Martin to anyone else happens before 2026 so Lance Stroll can keep his Q1 record and keep his hands off a Newey Championship winning car.
Lance Stroll rant over, time for the race which looks cool enough under lights, but probably not that cool for the drivers all decked out in cooling technology. But there’s loads of LEDs, fireworks, drones, flashing stuff, lasers. Let’s hope there’s all the above and more in the race ahead.
GRID (Starting Order) – VER PIA RUS LEC ANT SAI HAM TSU GAS NOR
Lap 1 – Oscar Piastri makes a good start from second and he has the inside line into turn one despite Max Verstappen putting on the squeeze in the short run to the first corner. But pole sitter Verstappen keeps the lead after he cuts the corner at turn one. As do a few cars behind him. But Verstappen may not keep the place, and it is under investigation, replays show Piastri didn’t give much room so it might be square. A few corners later and we have the first crash of the race with both Pierre Gasly and Yuki Tsunoda into the wall at turn five. Gasly’s car is trashed, but Tsunoda manages to get going again, but retires in the pits at the end of the lap. Looking at the replay he looks the one at fault as Gasly appears to be well in front as Tsunoda nudges the Alpine’s left rear whell.
SAFETY CAR DEPLOYED
ORDER – VER PIA RUS LEC ANT HAM SAI NOR ALB ALO
SAFETY CAR EXITS
Lap 4 – The race restarts and Max Verstappen blows them away at the restart, he’ll need it, as his five second penalty from the first start is announced. Piastri is under massive pressure from Russell going into turn one, but the Australian holds on. Behind them all the drivers behave themselves this time. Isack Hadjar is an eye catcher – up to 10th from 14th on the grid as he puts a good pass on Alonso for the final point.
Lap 6 – In championship damage limitation mode, Lando Norris is 8th, and looking likely to get by Carlos Sainz’s Williams pretty soon. He’ll need to if he doesn’t want to lose too much ground to Piastri and Verstappen. Norris does get by on lap 7 into turn one quite easily. The McLaren driver did start on the hard tyres, the only driver in the top ten to do so.
Lap 10 – At the front Oscar Piastri has closed in on Max Verstappen to within half a second, and the Red Bull has a five second penalty so advantage Piastri. A few more replays of the turn one lap one incidents shows that Max was possibly harshly treated as Piastri didn’t give much room and did look to go quite deep into turn one. But knowing how stewards were probably going to rule, the team probably should have told him to give the place over. As is stans George Russell is the only other driver with five seconds.
ORDER – VER PIA RUS LEC ANT HAM NOR SAI ALB HAD
Lap 12 – Lando Norris passes Lewis Hamilton for 6th going into the final corner of the lap, but DRS proves a real party pooper as the Ferrari immediately passes him back going into turn one. The same thing happens on the next lap. Eventually on lap 15 Norris gets the job done for real.
Lap 17 – The pit window opens for some pit stops, which would be good as the on track action is a little thin. At the fron Verstappen is now over two seconds to the good of Piastri and importantly now over seven second clear of George Russell in third. Norris in sixth is 15 seconds behind the leader and on Kimi Antonelli’s tail for 5th. Decent recovery drive from Norris so far. And Norris gets past Antonelli into turn one on lap 19.
Lap 20 – Oscar Piastri pits for tyres, the first front runners to do so. He was three seconds behind Verstappen as he pit and lost maybe a second on the pit stop too. Antonelli and Alonso pit too. Ocon pitted a lap earlier but as he was second last it wasn’t worth mentioning before the faster cars. Piastri rejoins 6th, Antonelli 11th.
Lap 21 – George Russell pits from second and he rejoins in seventh with Sainz between him and Piastri. Meanwhile Verstappen is flying trying to make up the five seconds he’ll lose at the pit stop thanks to the lap one penalty. Also flying is Piastri who flew past Lewis Hamilton for 4th at a part of the track which sees little overtaking.
Lap 22 – Max Verstappen pits, takes his five second penalty, exits and despite his on track efforts leading up to the stop he loses the lead to Piastri, and can also enjoy Lewis Hamilton in between on track. And Hamilton is holding Verstappen up, which makes Piastri’s pass so important. Verstappen passes Hamilton into the final corner of lap 23 and the Ferrari pits anyway. This completes most of the pitstops of the top ten, except Lando Norris, who started on hard tyres so can go a little longer yet and the leading Charles Leclerc who is at the whim of Ferrari tacticians, so best of luck.
ORDER – LEC NOR PIA VER RUS HAD ANT HAM STR HUL
Lap 26 – Lando Norris is slowly dropping back from Charles Leclerc, but it has been a decent effort on the harder tyres. The top five cars are all four seconds apart for some nice halfway symmetry. The biggest gap is Hadjar in 6th from Russell in 5th (10 seconds). For the time being, Nico Hulkenberg has a point for Sauber, but yet to pit. He’ll probably rejoin towards the back. Talking of the back, Alonso has a scary moment with hulk’s team mate going into turn one a few laps back. Talking more of the back, Hulkenberg loses places before the pit stops to both Williams drivers.
Lap 30 – Charles Leclerc pits from the lead and rejoins in 5th with no cars around him, which should be nice on his new tyres. He’s now ahead of Antonelli who has just passed Isack Hadjar for 6th. Norris now leads.
Lap 33 – Lando Norris is still yet to pit and Piastri in second is closing in on him, but not that quickly, Norris still has a three second gap. Piastri himself has a handy five second gap to Verstappen in third and it’s six seconds further back to George Russell who will need to start looking over his shoulder at Charles Leclerc who is setting fastest laps behind him.
ORDER (pitstops) – NOR (0) PIA VER RUS LEC ANT HAD (0) HAM SAI ALB
Lap 34 – Lando Norris pits for tyres and rejoins 5th and five seconds behind Leclerc. Wouldn’t rule out a podium here, as he will be on the faster tyre with not as many laps to care about the wear like the other drivers had to do with their first medium stints.
Lap 38 – Maybe smelling the McLaren catching him up, Charles Leclerc passes George Russell for third place and the final podium.
ORDER – PIA VER LEC RUS NOR ANT HAM SAI ALB HAD
Lap 41 – Lando Norris passes George Russell for 4th place as his damage limitation drive continues. As it stands, he will lose the Championship lead, but not by much.
Lap 43 – Lando Norris under investigation for his exiting of the pit lane, for crossing the pit lane line as exited. Replays show it looks pretty tight, and given the McLaren driver had a massive lead to the car behind, who was going to be slower, and Norris got no advantage, a penalty would be harsh. But the FIA is very petty, so who knows. It is dropped a lap later, and rightly so.
Lap 44 – Looking further forward and Piastri is doing it easy enough in front, a four second lead to Max Verstappen, who has five seconds in his pocket v Charles Leclerc. Lando Norris is three second behind Leclerc and catching. Likely battles remaining further behind are Antonelli v Hamilton for 6th and Willaims v Hadjar for 8th.
Lap 46 – Oscar Piastri may not be doing it that easy in front. He has complained on separate occasions about a Red Light from a balcony at turn 10 and a car in front of him slowing him down which looks far enough ahead to need binoculars to find. Maybe he’s worried about Verstappen closing in to closer to three seconds. Or Landon Norris closing in to under two seconds to Leclerc for third.
Lap 48 – George Russell on the radio worried about his tyre disintegrating. Not the place you want that to happen in. Although, nowhere would be fun. Norris is 1.4 seconds behind Leclerc with a couple of laps to go. Probably not quite close enough. Same for Verstappen who is within 2.6 seconds of Piastri.
FINAL LAP – Despite some late race stress getting past back markers, Oscar Piastri wins the Saudi Arabia Grand Prix and takes the World Championship lead, a rare occurrence for an Australian driver. Pity very few would be watching live as it is 4:30am on the east coast as he crosses the line. Piastri is as excited as ever, which sounds somewhere between winning third in the Melbourne Cup sweep and getting a close carpark at the shops. Lando Norris closes but not enough on Leclerc who takes a final podium for Ferrari. Mercedes were next best today but another double points finish helps. Behind that there wil be drivers happier with small collect of Championship points than others.
FINAL ORDER (Across the line) – PIA VER LEC NOR RUS ANT HAM SAI ALB HAD
Here we go through the field and highlight the very best (Great) of the race, and the plodders, the over-ambitious, the out of luck, and simply hopeless (Grape).
These points get added to our Driver of the Season scores. 5 points for a great nomination, and -5 for the worst or grapest driver in the pack. Then it is +2 /-2 for honourable or dishonourable mentions.
THE GREAT-EST – OSCAR PIASTRI
Showing to be the more reliable of the two McLaren drivers at the moment, and although he missed pole position by half an eye-blink, he did the job during the race. Held his own against Max Verstappen at the start, which isn’t easy to do, and took advantage of Verstappen’s penalty. Also got lucky with his team mate and nearest rival crashing in Q3 of qualifying. Takes the Championship lead. Based on recent performance, he probably won’t give it back.
HONOURABLE MENTIONS
MAX VERSTAPPEN – A second race in three where he pulls a pole position out of the Red Bull’s arse. The five second penalty could be argued as unlucky, and his driving before the pit stop was great as ever, but once Piastri got in front after the pit stop he couldn’t quite match it.
CHARLES LECLERC – A podium for the Ferrari driver and another weekend of smashing Lewis Hamilton. About the maximum he could hope for, but a well driven race none-the-less.
LANDO NORRIS – Surely would prefer not to have crashed in Q3, but a good recovery drive.
GEORGE RUSSELL – Another solid, anonymous weekend. If his car was a little quicker he could stealth his way into championship contention.
KIMI ANTONELLI – Although he has a much better car than most rookies, he is doing a much better job than most rookies. Another very solid race more than spectacular, but Mercedes will take that for now.
ISACK HADJAR – Made good progress early, and raced in the top ten with the help of his hard tyre strategy. But unlike his compeditors for Red Bull drives, he didn’t crash on lap one and was racing well in the top ten.
THE GRAPE-EST – LANCE STROLL
Sets a new record for Q1 exits and F1 petulance.
DISHONOURABLE MENTIONS
PIERRE GASLY – Lap one exit courtesy of Yuki Tsunoda ruined a top ten qualifying and potential points finish.
YUKI TSUNODA – Qualified 8th in a decent performance for a tsecond Red Bull driver, but it was well down on the pole sitting team mate and his first lap DBF, looking like it was caused by him won’t help. But in the grand scale of Red Bull number two drivers, it’s not the worst.
JACK DOOHAN – Elimination in Q1 and circulating at towards the back of the field won’t help save his drive.
LEWIS HAMILTON – Whilst not terrible results in race and qualifying, they are not multiple world champion great.
Was it a good race, loads of action, a tense ending, a surprise result or DNF, or just a big, fat, snooze-fest?
We rate the big race itself, so we know which races to go back and watch in the off season or one to simply remember the winner for the post season quiz nights.
PRE RACE ACTION (FP, QUAL, SPRINT, OFF TRACK etc) – 3 / 5
Not much off track action as Red Bull keep their drivers for another race. And the incidents and accidents were lower than expected in Practice sessions given the fast nature of the track and walls. But Lando Norris livens up the race weekend by putting it into a wall in Q3.
ON TRACK ACTION (RACE) – 6 / 10
Unsurprising first lap crash box ticked and the ever present safety car at Jeddah came early. The first corner between Verstappen and Piastri was exciting and the fallout decided the race. Some good racing behind the top two as Lando Norris recovered from 10th in qualifying to 4th by race end. There was some good midfield racing to keep fans interested enough.
ANY SURPRISES? – 1 / 5
Not really, the first corner could and probably would have ended in tears of it were Max Verstappen vs anyone else.
SEASON IMPORTANCE – 5 / 5
The Championship lead changes hands as Piastri dominates Lando Norris with his coolness in qualifying and control of the race. Lando Norris races well, and he always will, but he can’t give up eight grid places at every race. Max Verstappen’s pole position shows the Red Bull can never be discounted for the Championship.
ENDING – 2 / 5
There was a hint of a few battles towards the end and a potential penalty hanging over Lando Norris, but nothing too exciting ended up happening.
OVERALL RATING – 17 / 30
Not a bad way to spend the early hours of a Monday morning, especially given the end result was an Australian win and Australian Championship lead.
The Gurgler loves a hero, and Greg Norman, and now together at last is the new Gurgler Comic Series featuring Greg Norman taking on some of the world’s biggest problems in the only way Greg Norman can do. By being Greg Norman. Doing Greg Norman things. In the Greg Norman way. This episode sees Greg Norman trying to spice up the 2025 Australian Election race.
WARNING: Adult Themes and/or shirtless golfers…..
Greg Norman Vs 2025 Australian Election
All images above were created using the technology of Grok and the slightly warped imagination of The Gurgler writing staff, who are frequently locked in a room and told not to come out until they have come up with at least 50 barely interesting stats on a specific sport, or something that makes the Telegram group give Hardy chuckles. G, they are easy to please though. But even if you don’t like the way Twitter, also known as X, is going, you should get into their AI app Grok, which needs a Twitter / X account, and let your imagination run wild. Maybe you could come up with some Greg Norman adventures of your very own to share with family and friend.
If you enjoyed this episode of Greg Norman Vs, and are not worried about our obsession with Greg Norman, especially the fact he is usually presented as shirtless, then why not follow the links to some of our other gear below.
Don’t forget to check out the rest of the website, it’s not all about Greg Norman. We also try to bore everyone to tears with overly long and dull articles with way too many stats for the modern attention short person to care about.
Missed all the hype of the latest NRL Round and need and/or want to catch up in the quickest way possible? Well The Gurgler has you covered for the latest Dolphins game with our 2025 NRL Round 7 Dolphins v Storm – One Minute Match Report.
Our popular One Minute Match Reviews offer up just enough facts and figures and opinion to make it through the waiting for an Uber or Monday morning coffee catch ups, fifty cent train rides or carpools.
MATCH THOUGHTS
Greatest Dolphins game ever? Top three for sure. What a night for the Dolphins fans and what a turnaround of a season that was in danger of being over before May. Consecutive wins over Penrith and Melbourne are four bonus points when looking at the 2025 NRL draw at the start of the season, and even more important given their 2025 campaign started with four straight losses.
The end result of 42-22 was unexpected. Not just the result but the second half dominance of a side that are tipped by many to win the premiership. Even more unexpected was not one, but two tries to Ray Stone. Who appeared to hate scoring both. Like he does. He doesn’t want spotlight, just team success and hurt opposition.
And what an impact Ray and his friends from the bench provided for the Dolphins on Friday night. Josh Kerr was at his best in a Dolphins jersey and his determined opening try set up the momentum shift. Connelly Lemuelu was huge when he came on, and his try was about the time Dolphins fans could start believing. Not to mention Kurt Donoghoe who had an extended stint due to Max Plath’s injury. Donoghue’s late sin binning meant Ray Stone became the fourth-choice hooker. Of course he killed it, like so many of those tree-felling tackles before. Four of the first tries for the Dolphins came from the bench.
Even when the Dolphins were down 16-2, it felt it was more of a Melbourne in red-hot form than the Dolphins playing badly, unlike earlier in the season. And once they had scored, given Melbourne’s second halves have been weaker this season, mainly because they have been so far in front, you felt the Dolphins had a sniff. And they filled their nose in the second half.
The much-maligned halves earlier in the season, and they did deserve some of it, were huge against the Storm, with Isiaya Katoa running the team like a ten year veteran, and Nikorima being one of those was electric throughout and has been a very underrated contributor for the Dolphins.
Not underrated, but potentially not appreciated enough is Herbie Farnworth who has been the Dolphins best and continues to be a star performer every week. He is a tackle busting machine, who gives the Dolphins so much momentum when they need it.
So the Dolphins are within touching distance of the top eight now after seeing off last season’s grand finalists. They need to take advantage of a slightly kinder draw and keep this winning streak going. And the Ray Stone tries a-coming.
2025 NRL Round 7 Match Result – Dolphins v Storm Stats
Courtesy of nrl.com
BEST OF STATS
It is only the second time since 2004 that the Storm have conceded over 40 points. The last time was in 2023 v North Qld during Origin.
It was the third highest score against Melbourne by a Qld side and the highest total conceded at Suncorp Stadium against anyone.
It was the Dolphins third highest score ever and just the third time they have scored 40 points or more.
It was Ray Stone’s second double v Melbourne, with the first back in Round Three of 2022. He has only scored three other tries in the NRL career.
The win was the Dolphins first ever at Suncorp on a Friday night. They had lost the previous five.
It was only Melbourne second loss in 24 games on a Friday v non Sydney teams.
Herbie Farnworth is averaging one tackle break every second run this season.
Melbourne average the third highest total of points scored against for the second half in 2025.
Faster than a Max Verstappen, more expendable than a Red Bull #2 driver, with more swearing than the FIA would like, and harder to get out of than a Brazilian gravel trap, it’s the F1 Donkey with his unique view on F1 and more. Before each race The F1 Donkey puts the ass in sass and unloads his alternative, slightly unhinged thoughts on F1 including this week’s Bold 2025 Saudi Arabia Grand Prix Predictions and opinion.
The F1 Donkey’s Pre Saudi Arabia Grand Prix Thoughts
Nothing says Easter like a dangerous blast through the streets of the city with the third most recognisable place name in Saudi Arabia.
They call the Jeddah track that hosts this weekend’s Saudi Arabia Grand Prix the fastest and most dangerous street circuit in the world, and that may well be true in the world of Formula One, but in the world of general motoring I would offer up a quiet industrial area on Queensland’s Gold Coast on a Saturday night as a more dangerous street circuit.
There’s probably an equal amount of potential smoke and accidents between the pair. Although one would argue the chances of accident depends on where Lance Stroll qualifies. For either event. But you know a Saturday night doing burnouts on the Gold Coast with an esky of Woodstock bourbon cans and a black T Shirt featuring some death metal band with optional “flanno” may not be to Lance Stroll’s taste. But if you think about it, given the permanent scowl on the Canadian’s face, maybe he would hate F1 more than Gold Coast burnouts. He really should give up at least one.
Before moving on from that industrial estate on the Gold Coast, I wonder which current or past F1 drivers would like to mingle with that crowd on a Saturday night. Max Verstappen does come to mind, and Daniel Ricciardo would be all over it. Even the Hulk. Not Esteban Ocon, Pedro Chaves or Stirling Moss. One is too arrogant to be taken in by the Saturday crowd, one wouldn’t pre-qualify and the other has passed away.
But back to Saudi Arabia, and their fast, dangerous track. One does wonder given all the wiggles (not the band) and tight confines of the walls what kind of place Jeddah is if they are their regular streets. Maybe they are all so busy they need to be in that much of a hurry all the time. Maybe it all comes down to egg prices and the speed required to get to the shop before they sell out. I’m not 100% sure, but I’m sure the people of Jeddah love scrambled eggs.
It does get me thinking, and along the lines of last week’s rant about F1 needing to be more like Mario Kart, perhaps the Jeddah fastest and most dangerous street track in the world isn’t dangerous enough.
First of all, and given the narrow width of the track from side to side, I’d like to see it somehow converted into a figure eight. But no fancy overpass and underpass like the Japanese Grand Prix, a completely open figure eight where cars cross at their peril. This would then end up being like a suburban Give Way sign where driver’s take as much risk as they dare. You can see some drivers being cautious and other blasting through without a care in the world. Like a country town on the night of the big footy finals.
Next up, I’ve always thought F1 tracks would be more exciting, and therefore better, if they had a jump somewhere. Sure you’ll get nanny state engineering loving freaks that will say that the suspension isn’t designed for it and will break ending in a catastrophic accident Or it will ruin all the aerodynamics, but isn’t that the fun of it? Who has not only built the fastest car, but the strongest. It would end up like one of those Demolition Derbies that don’t happen often enough. Especially the ones with caravans. Talking of which, chalk that down for another great idea. F1 cars towing caravans around the track doing a Demolition derby. For added fun, the F1 Team Principal is inside the caravan. For Red Bull we would allow both Christian Horner (and his Netflix crew) and Dr Marko to be in the caravan at the same time.
Finally in the three pronged attack to make F1 more dangerous, and therefore exciting, I just can’t look past a loop-the-loop. For decades people have said that F1 cars are so sophisticated and bla bla bla that they could run upside down on the ceiling. Well, prove it. Let’s see these cars do a full loop at pace to see if they really are the reverse airplanes they have claimed to be for so long. But for those safety conscious drivers and ones like Lance Stroll with limited ability, there is an alternative path off to the side, but it is essentially a giant sand trap, and we all know who can’t get out of those.
Talking about getting out, it’s time to drop the Bold Predictions for the Saudi Arabia Grand Prix and disappear.
The NRL Donkey’s Bold 2025 Saudi Arabia Grand Prix Predictions
And here they are, in a convenient team by team format, so you can ignore them all at your convenience or peril. Depending on the outcome of our prediction.
McLAREN
Oscar Piastri seems to like the desert races, maybe because they are as dry as he is. Another win from pole here.
RED BULL
This could be a rare double DNF for Red Bull. Max underwhelmed with Q3 effort, Yuki won’t get to whelm himself as much as that.
FERRARI
Copy/paste from last race’s bolds prediction. Podium for Leclerc, struggles for Hamilton.
MERCEDES
George Russell to threaten an upset win before the Mercedes alternative strategy falls apart in the last laps. Q3 and points bag for Kimi Antonelli.
WILLIAMS
More Q2 regret for Carlos Sainz this time it’s Liam Lawson who feels the wrath. Albon to qualify 8th-ish.
RACING BULLS
Izack Hadjar to outperform Yuki and make Q3 with a few points his race-end reward.
ALPINE
Unfortunately timed crash in qualifying for Jack Doohan. Camera pans to Reserve driver in pits. Pierre Gasly gets Q3 and points-ending puncture.
ASTON MARTIN
People say I don ‘t like Lance Stroll and every week I wish him to crash and embarrass himself because he outwardly appears to hate being an F1 driver, one of the best jobs in the world. And he’s a spoiled brat who won’t deserve an Adrian Newey car. And they’re right. Stroll to crash in race and P2.
HAAS
Bearman to outqualify and out-race Ocon. Points for Bearman.
KICK SAUBER
Nothing but a stint of glory seeking P2 driving from the Hulk. Which I would love. Love Hulk.
F1 2025 Season Stuff
We’ve worked hard getting ready for the 2025 F1 Season, and this is our best work below.
