What do you want? PNG Hunters. When do you want them? Now. And the PNG Hunters you shall have and more in this week’s instalment of Queensland Cup review brought to you by our friends at Nothing But League.
There was plenty of action, and a full card of 7 games, yes a full round, hear that NRL?
We grabbed the live stream of the Townsville v PNG game and it was worth the effort as it was easily the best game of league so far this year, and a result to our favourite rugby league side anywhere in the world. A replay of that come September would be good times. And rugby league would be the winner.
We also got along to see the Redcliffe Dolphins thrash the Central Comets, and that and more can be found below.
We’re pretty lazy at The Gurgler, not only can’t we be bothered doing a review after every GP, we’ll only supply our thoughts in point form but points are currency in F1 though, so it’s all good.
So here’s our points of interest, not enough to make the podium but more than Luca Badoer ever scored.
A German Conspiracy?
So Lewis Hamilton was robbed of the GP win on Sunday by his team calling him in for a tyre stop under the safety car. Good plan, because Monaco is so easy to overtake on, escpeically at the front of the race. In fact it is hard to remember any overtaking manoeuvre for the lead after the first corner in Monaco for, well, ever.
So who profited from Lewis’ loss. Firstly Nice Rosberg who is German. Mercedes still wins the race – German. Toto Wolff – speaks German. So does Niki Lauda. Boss of Mercedes with the great moustache – Dieter Zetsche – German.
Then you have to remember the court case where Bernie had to pay multiple millions to the German banks to avoid jail.
The Gurgler has it on good authority that as part of that bargaining process Bernie also promised the German banks that a German driver in a German car would win this year’s Monaco GP. Since Bernd Schneider and Zakspeed were around in 1989 it had to be Rosberg in 2015. There are also rumours that it was used as a sweetener for German investors to revive the German GP again.
For this you’ll have to ignore Bernie telling Nico Rosberg he’s bad for F1, and the fact we have zero authority on any of this.
Is Verstappen the real deal or is F1 too easy?
Max Verstappen showed plenty throughout the Monaco GP, finishing in the top 10 in all sessions including second in P1. A big race awaited, and a long pitstop killed his chances of a high points finish, but a storming drive from way back was cut short after a crash at Ste Devote. It was an error that you would expect from someone of his years. His cheeky overtaking polarised F1 fans, but that is also a by product of youthful exuberance.
Was has been unexpected to a degree is how far up the gird the 17 year old has been this year, comfortably outpacing Red Bull in some sessions and races. He looks a special talent, and loads of ability, but is he showing such early promise because the cars are much easier to drive these. This is the question that will only be answered throughout the season. But he appears ahead of Vettel in a similar stage at Toro Rosso in 2008.
Kimi needs to do the math and the homework.
We love Kimi, he is something different, an anti modern day professional sportsman. He doesn’t care for the clichés, or anything to do with media, and that’s just the way we like it.
He is also fast, but keep underperforming in qualifying. He has been told to do some qualifying homework, and hopefully he gets that right and the math, as there will be tracks where Ferrari will match Mercedes coming up, and it would be nice if Kimi was on the dancefloor for the good times.
Hulkenburg – the forgotten man of F1
With Kimi looking tentative at Ferrari, there may be a spot opening up last year. But this vacancy like a few before them won’t go to Nico Hulkenburg who is destined to become one of those many F1 racers from 1980’s and 1990’s who couldn’t crack it for a top drive. Drivers like Robert Moreno (who finally showed what he could do in a Benetton for a few races, Pierluigi Martini and Stefano Modena.
It doesn’t take long to no longer be the new kid that everyone wants, and you just have to get lucky at the right time, like a Ricciardo or Kyvat who showed much less before getting his Red Bull call up.
Shame he doesn’t get the luck, once again in the only place a guy like him gets a chance to shine he tangles with Alonso.
Points for McLaren
Final point is the first points for McLaren. With Honda’s record of success, these pointless days will be looked back upon in the not so distant future, and everyone will be wondering how this combination took so long to get going.
Then just before the peak Honda will probably pull out again. For Alonso’s sake if they leave, could they leave him with a Brawn type farewell gift.
F1’s boffins have got together to decide on a new bunch of rules to overcome one team being much better than the others. This one team domination does happen from time to time in F1 and if you’re lucky (unlike the Ferrari dominated early 2000’s) the team is fair and lets both drivers race. Which is the case for Mercedes. So if you’re looking to blame anyone for the current state of F1, blame Nico Rosberg.
But all the complaining about last year’s season was bewildering. Whilst you had a far superior car, the two lead drivers wore each other down for mutual dislike by season’s end, and further back the racing was better than ever. Even this year you have a genuine alternative winner at some tracks with the revival of Ferrari, plus a randomness in the midfield with a rotating roster of which car is next best. So, it’s not all that bad.
If history in F1 has proven anything, the longer you leave the rules, the more competitive it becomes. And another thing, when these changes are being proposed, they very rarely improve anything nor do what they say they were going to.
Whilst the refuelling aspect is probably a welcome change from the no refuelling which simply hasn’t worked. The changes to aerodynamics seems to be moving in exactly the wrong way to what a layman would think to improve racing.
Yes the cars should be faster, and will be under these rules, but a flicker back to old days of Trulli trains, and Bernoldi holding up Coulthard at Monaco for what seemed 180 laps, it doesn’t matter how fast they go if they can’t get past.
Found an article from back in the heady days when Autosport was AtlasF1 and free and great on the 1997 to 1998 rule changes.
They claim is was to lead to longer braking zones, which will increase overtaking opportunities — something desired by all racing fans. Wrong.
The theory behind the narrower car is it gives the designers less room to play with to create downforce. It will have the same affect as widening the circuit, giving more space for the drivers to race on. Pffft.
Also found an interesting quote from Jacques Villeneuve about the changes. Whilst his rant was based on 98 changes, it is hard to argue that his views don’t somehow sum up what’s happening now. Although the quality of the driver probably more reliant on budgets than skill. There’s also an explanation of how to make overtaking easier, which appears to be going in the opposite direction of the new rules floated.
So what does Villeneuve say? Well, he believes the fun will be taken out of Formula One, that the cars will be far too slow and this will allow less skilled drivers to compete easier.
“the way to tackle the “dirty air” problem is to take the emphasis a car’s grip away from the aerodynamics and back to the tyres. A contemporary Formula One car gets the majority of its grip from the wings. Therefore, it loses a massive percentage of its grip when running in dirty air. If downforce was cut dramatically, the percentage of grip coming from the wings would be less. So, when running in dirty air, the total percentage of grip loss would be much less as tyres are unaffected by dirty air.”
Here’s a bit before the 2009 changes with shows the benefit of leaving the rules alone.
Over the last three years the rules that govern F1 have remained remarkably stable. In recent times the slowest car on the track (usually a Force India) has often been within 1.5s of the fastest.
Although the end of 2009 became much more compeditive as the teams who were cheated out of the Double Diffuser technology as the rules were set up to go without by the people who went ahead and did it, caught up and overtook the eventual champions who were too far ahead by that time.
So, if we’re such an expert, what would we do.
– If there needs to change – agree to changes that are unable to be changed for an agreeable period, and make it for a long time – min 10 years.
– Reduce aero dependency. One plane front and rear wings. No extra. Simples. Should make the car a pain in the arse to hold onto and much easier to overtake so DRS won’t be required.
– Tyre war. Throws in another variable and opportunity for a change in order. As there are fewer variable in engines these days, i.e. Mercedes/Ferrari or bust, a variable between two teams with Mercedes but on different tyres. Allow companies to dictate how aggressive they want to be, with the risk if they last 4 laps they look hopeless.
– Mixed up grids. But not a gimmick. One lap Q3 similar to 2003 era allows for showcasing of skill, maximum exposure and reward for cars that make Q3, the one lap formula punishes the small and big mistakes so can shake up the grid. Plus it is surely better than trying to keep up with all 10 cars on the track with 15 seconds of each other. Keep Q1 and Q2 but use the Q2 times as the cutoff and order for Q3. Fastest in Q3 can choose to go first or last giving them the advantage and reward in times of rain. Worthwhile for more than a mere trimming of the midfield which Q2 currently is.
– Improve the circuits. The bastardisation of the final corner of Barcelona shows all that is wrong with F1 track design. Sure the idea may be good in theory, but as the Simpsons point out Communism is good in theory. If something doesn’t work – change it back. Tracks should remain safe but there has to be more punishment for mistakes. 3 km of run off area on the outside of all corners leads drivers to going flat out knowing there’s not much margin of error if they get it wrong.
– Or remove all regs, but have a generous salary cap and allow for open slather for everything. Making the grid full of exciting ideas, and may lead to the next 6 wheeler, Lotus 79, 80’s style Turbo engine, Carbon Fibre chassis, active ride suspension and semi automatic gearbox. Fancy curved front wing endplates and viking/anteater noses and enforced FIA tech like KERS and DRS aside there has been bugger all new technology for a long time.
– Remove the engine and tyre restrictions for Friday practice turning them into mini test sessions. This will make them more worth watching, and will give time over to possible innovations and allowing for more freedom to explore. Rather than clenching up tighter than a fish’s arse because you only have x sets of tyres for the weekend and 4 engines for the year, and you’re afraid your Renault engine will explode if you sneeze and change into third gear at the same time. Not open slather as budgets still need to be maintained, but maybe allow for a testing rubber and engine for one of the two session, as long as a rookie/understudy driver is used.
– Check out the NASCAR all stars race and see that’s the level fans want. They don’t want the same bland chiched PR polished and approved responses, they want something different, they want to be involved, not just following an Instagram account. Whilst NASCAR isn’t the series for us given the racing sends us dizzy and the use of the safety car is more frustrating than trying to set a rugby union scrum, their drivers and use of them is far superior to anything in F1. Which is the opposite of F1 whose drivers think they are far too superior to do anything more than sponsored events and a few autographs.
Our answers may not any better, but some would be easily implemented. Either that or leave it alone and allow these teams to catch up.
So the NRL can only be bothered producing 4 games this weekend. Never fear, the Intrust Super Cup aka the Queensland Cup has a full set of 7 this weekend, and you should tune in now to their preview. Taste.
Like the EPL there isn’t much to play for at the top end of the four big leagues in Europe, and all are in their last week, except Italy.
Most of those four leagues have plenty down at the bottom to play for though, and tips to be given. You can have both if you are well behaved. Which you aren’t, but like a classic empty threat to a 3 year old, you can have them anyway whether you want it or not.
SPAIN.
Moneybags Barcelona beat Moneybags Real Madrid to the title last weekend, and so the only battle is for the lower division 4 teams are within 2 points for the last two relegation spots. Deportivo have the worst of it playing in Barcelona and will be hoping their current position outside the bottom three will be enough if results go their way.
SPANISH MULTI
$1 for $65
BARCELONA to beat Deportivo
RAYO VALLECANO to beat Real Sociedad
REAL MADRID to beat Getafe
ESPANYOL to beat Celta Vigo
DRAW – Almeria v Valencia
SEVILLA or DRAW v Malaga.
ITALY.
Juventus won this league a little while ago and the only real interest is the battle for second and third place and a reserved sign in the Champions League. Three teams don’t go into two, and one big club will disappointed. Relegation is already sorted.
ITALIAN MULTI
$1 for 81
DRAW – Juventus v Napoli
INTER MILAN to beat Genoa
PALERMO to beat Fiorentina
SAMPDORIA to beat Empoli
GERMANY
Bayern Munich, the German superclub are on a bad run fir them. First of all they lose one game and then everyone forgets to win, they are losing games left right and centre at will currently.
Which gives the Gurgler an idea – surely Bayern Munich will win this weekend. Outside of that bright and brave thought we have the battle for relegation as the top of the table is sorted. 13th to 17th are within 3 points and anyone one of those 5 teams can find themselves in the second tier or in a playoff against one of them next season.
GERMAN MULTI
EINTRACHT FRANKFURT to beat Bayer Leverkusen
BAYERN MUNICH to beat Mainz
BORUSSIA MONCHENGLADBACH to win longest name comp and beat Augsburg
DRAW – Hannover v Freiburg
$1 Multi pays $28
FRANCE
With everything other than the third place and final Champions League sport sorted (3 teams within a few points), France is under control.
LE MULTI
$1 pays $10
MARSEILLE to beat Bastia
PSG to beat Reims
MONACO to beat Lorient
BORDEAUX to beat Montpellier
LYON to beat Rennes.
You’ve made it, the end of the UK Football season which seems to have started an eternity ago, and with a World Cup in the middle of the seasons, it feels like it has been non stop football. But that’s just the way you and we like it.
It looks like even teams like Chelsea and Arsenal have had enough as midweek games showed the opposite of excellent seasons with surprise results.
The only thing to play for is the last spot in next year’s Championship between Hull and Newcastle. Hull are the favourites to be playing at Ewood Park, Portman Road and Ashton Gate next year, as they need to beat Manchester United at home to stand any chance. Newcastle can survive if Hull don’t win, but given the turmoil and shambles of the once great club anything can happen and it wouldn’t surprise. Some of this year’s surviving teams argues the case of more than three being relegated every now and again.
So to find some UK Football where the stakes are high, as ever you need to go down to the Football League. This weekend has the three playoff finals spread across Saturday, Sunday and Monday.
First up is the League Two playoff final between Southend and Wycombe. Wycombe were in the top 3 and automatic promotion spots all season fell out in only the last few rounds whilst Southend finished in 5th behind them by one place with the same amount of points.
Working on the theory that teams who were in automatic promotion playoffs most of the year but don’t go up automatically usually struggle to get through the playoff, and Southend manager Phil Brown famously took Hull City into the EPL back in the last decade we’ll plump for the Shrimpers aka Southend United to get through the playoff and into the third tier of League One.
Sunday sees the League One final with the unenviable task of competing with the last day of the EPL. But it is an important step to the hallowed ground of the EPL with many teams in the recent past being promoted to the EPL after a stint in League One within three years of promotion. Momentum can be everything. Examples of recent double ups are Bournemouth, Southampton, Norwich City, Leicester City.
This year’s instalment sees Preston North End (3rd in regular season) play Swindon Town who finished 4th. Preston North End have much more quality, with ex EPL Beckford and goal scoring hotshot Garner. They should win, but they have not gone up through the playoffs in 9 attempts spreading across three decades. Only three of those have been playoff final losses, but that stat is enough to turn The Gurgler away. And Swindon Town looked OK at times in this campaign. We’ll take Swindon Town to go up.
Finally the biggest, richest, most important, whatever game in UK Football aka The Championship playoff is on Monday UK Time. The two teams fight off for the most token of trophies, but the riches of the EPL is the biggest prize that all fans, players, coaches, staff, and phone answering monkeys all want.
Once again, the two teams that finished the season in the two places just below automatic promotion are playing off in the final. Just like all three divisions this year.
Middlesbrough should have gone up given their position before the last 6-8 weeks. They have impressively dealt with Brentford in the semi finals. Norwich meanwhile got two games tougher than they would have wanted in Ipswich Town. It will be interesting to see if that extra toughness turns into a win, as an Ipswich fan who had to suffer last weekends failure they look the goods to go up.
That’s how we tip. Norwich to win promotion.
The multi of all three teams to be promoted comes to around $7 for those keen for a tickle.
For the final time this year, here is the EPL Multi lists.
BETTER MULTI
$1 pays $23
MANCHESTER CITY to beat Southampton
CHELSEA to beat Sunderland
LEICESTER to beat QPR
EVERTON to beat Spurs
SWANSEA to beat Crystal Palace.
BLURST MULTI
$1 pays $123
ARSENAL to beat WBA
STOKE to beat Liverpool
BURNLEY to beat Aston Villa
MANCHESTER UNITED to beat Hull
DRAW – Newcastle / West Ham
Sport, sport, sport, sport. Today you get to ride up the front because you love sport. So do we, and here’s our weekly blab about the bits that took our fancy.
THE REAL FORGOTTEN MAN OF AUSTRALIAN GOLF WINS
The Gurgler’s favourite Australian golfer turned back the years and got his name back in the headlines (well our headlines at least) last weekend with a win on the second tier Web.com Tour’s BMW Charity Pro-Am in South Carolina. In the process he has moved to a ranking of 179 from 249.
A much underrated figure, very few would remember or care that Rod Pampling has won on the US PGA Tour, held a PGA Tour card for several years, was ranked inside the Top 30 at one stage, and even led a British Open. Not bad for a golfer from Caboolture.
He does it tough too, after losing his card he has continued to try his luck on the second tier tour, knowing a win will at least get a couple of games in the big time next season. He also lost his dad a year ago, so the win in the US will be all the sweeter and no less deserved for the real forgotten man of Australian golf.
The Gurgler salutes Rod Pampling and hopes to see him on a regular basis on next year’s PGA Tour and majors.
IS THE FRENCH OPEN TENNIS THE DANNY WOOD OF TENNIS MAJORS?
The French Open kicks off this weekend to very little fanfare, well amongst the general Australian sporting public.
With limited prior and recent Australian success at Roland Garros except for finals appearance by Sam Stosur, it tends to be the least anticipated of any tennis if not any sporting major. Much like the US PGA golf, Fencing at the Olympics or the Rugby World Cup.
The only interesting thing is usually the clay surface, but after a set or two that wears off and it is then confined to the quick check of the final score.
FTA TV gave up on it a while ago, probably because they couldn’t play it at the Olympic Stadium, and most of us wouldn’t have bothered even if it were on TV. Unless an Aussie does well of course. Then it’s time to get on Le Bandwagon.
ORIGIN TEAMS ANNOUNCED – NRL UNOFFICIALLY ANNOUNCES ITS COMPETITION IS RUBBISH FOR THE NEXT FEW MONTHS
So the origin teams were announced to few surprises for Qld and a couple for NSW, and whilst the excitement is high now, after many weeks of relentless origin hype, it will be good when the NRL returns in full.
Until then we have to put up with weeks of half arsed NRL games and teams missing star players, and if you’re lucky enough, very few of them will pick up injuries in Origin. One upside is that with only 1 game on a Friday night the chance of hearing Ray Hadley or Tim Gilbert call the game.
An argument we have made and will continue to make is why the origin treble can’t be held on a stand alone weekend and allow the NRL comp to continue for real when it’s all over. We can only pray that the changing of the FTA coverage will allow the NRL to dictate terms rather than the broadcaster doing it.
MOTORSPORT PINACLES THIS WEEKEND.
The biggest races of the F1 and Indycar are on almost back to back this weekend in a Sunday night worth ruining your Monday morning for.
The F1 visits the principality of Monaco on a street track that it outgrew fifty years ago. But the sight of the F1 cars rounding the tihght corners is still an treat that even gets the regular sporting public excited. Look for our preview of the Monaco race tomorrow.
The almost forgotten Indycar series has it’s showpiece on Sunday night with 500 miles of the Indianapolis circuit. It may be a boring oval, but like the Monaco GP it’s not always about the track or the racing but the premium event.
GURGLER’S SPORTING CLIPS OF THE WEEK
BEST OF THE MONACO GP
ASK DR SPORTZ
Q. DR Sportz who are your favourite French Tennis Players of all time?
Pierre Lachaise, Roland Garros, France
A. An interesting question, and one that is hard to come up with just the one, there’s so many, if I had to pick one I wouldn’t, I’d pick them all. Or at least the new few.
In no particular order – Guy Forget, Yannick Noah and Henri Leconte. All are from a not too long past vintage and all more interesting than any of today’s with the possible exception of Tsonga. Marian Bartoli wins the female player as it is the only one I can think of.
You need to know about Round 10 of the Queensland Cup don’t you?
Did the PNG Hunters win? Can Redcliffe make it two in a row. Did Souths Logan and Central break their long winless runs? Can anyone stop the Townsville Blackhawks?
If you asked any of these questions, or never thought about them in your life, it’s time to catch up with the Intrust Super Cup aka Queensland Cup.
With the invention of smart phones and their various map functions, very few see the need to purchase a Sat Nav anymore for getting around town, but we have alternative sat nav choices.
Sat Nav companies have started to introduce celebrity voiceovers from very famous people or world famous TV shows.
The Gurgler Shop is joining the trend, but as ever here at The Gurgler we’re only interested in the more obscure new celebrity voiceovers.
Check out our GurglerNaV – with Six very different settings. just $59.99.
MICHAEL BUFFER
A.K.A That guy with the booming voice who does the introductions to Boxing bouts. Who wouldn’t be inspired to take the third exit of the next roundabout with the infamous voice bellowing at you. Only drawback could be that the instructions is still going when you actually need to be making the turns.
BLACKBOARD
The grumpy stalwart of Mr Squiggle will give you driving instructions without any of the extras. Only downside may be speeding issue with the constant demands of hurrying up.
MURRAY WALKER
There is no name more synonymous with voiceover and motoring than the commentary genius that is Murray Walker. Whilst no longer in active commentary, several generations of motorsport fans would automatically associated his distinctive voice with cars.
The pants on fire delivery will keep you alert and excited for each driving adventure. Downside might be some small errors in instructions due to extreme enthusiasm. Although Murray calls them prophecies that are immediately proven wrong.
BOBCAT GOLDTHWAIT w MICHAEL WINSLOW
For something completely different we take two of Police Academy’s finest in a one off never to be repeated and/or purchased special.
The high pitched scream of Bobcat will provide a different Sat Nav experience for you the driver, and with the added blips and bleeps supplied by voice artist extraordinaire Michael Winslow.
Downside as ever would be how long you can put up with Bobcat’s voice for. You can selected the pure-Winslow sub option.
THE CAST OF THE WIRE / DEADWOOD
For something a little more urban, why not try the The Wire / Deadwood mode. The Wire mode will deliver more F’s, MF’s and bitches than any other product in the market, whilst the Deadwood option will have you being told in no uncertain terms that any wrong move will see you being throat cut and fed to the pigs.
Downsize here is not recommended for children, but they would learn a few things.
BILLY BIRMINGHAM
Aka the 12th man. He could provide voiceover that talk over each other all with the voices you want to hear. From Gibbo to Chapelli to the entire 9 commentary box alive or passed on (except Michael Slater) all your favourite sports commentator imitations are here to instruct you on how to get around.
Only downside is that if they are true to life the comments will be more about what they had for lunch, how great they used to be, and they won’t care about where you need to go, just where they’ve been and you’ll be lost where ever.
The next State of Origin series is looming, and with the team announcements not far away, the term “Origin Bolter” will be thrown around with reckless abandon.
They are not always selected mind you, but some of those bolters are, and they come and go as quickly as a bolt of lightning.
Not that they didn’t deserve better, they just didn’t get a better chance.
You may even marvel and ask yourself “Did he really play origin?”, the answer is so did we and yes.
For this smackdown we’ve named the forgotten XIII for each state, players who you may or may not remember played State of Origin, or can barely remember them at all. We haven’t selected a positional 13, just a honorary team of 13 players.
Those obscure, forgotten players will always have a home at The Gurgler. We love to celebrate the forgotten.
Vote for your favourite forgotten Origin side now.
QLD
BRAD TESSMAN
6 Games – 1983 / 1987
CHRIS BEATTIE
3 Games – 2001-2002
TRAVIS NORTON
5 Games = 2002-2004
TERRY COOK
3 Games – 1995
OWEN CUNNINGHAM
1 Game – 1996 (3 Games QLD SL 1997)
DARREN FRITZ
3 Games – 2004
CASEY MAGUIRE
2 Games – 2005
ADAM MOGG
2 Games – 2006
DANNY NUTLEY
1 Game – 2005
JEREMY SCHLOSS
3 Games – 1997
DANIEL WAGON
3 Games – 2001
NEIL TIERNEY
3 Games – 1997
IAN but not BRETT FRENCH
9 Games – 1985 – 1987
NSW STEVE CARTER
1 Game – 1992
MATT but not PHIL ADAMSON
2 Games – 2001
GREG FLORIMO
4 Games – 1988, 2005
PHIL BAILEY
3 Games – 2003
SCOTT GOURLEY
1 Game – 1993
BRAD IZZARD
4 Games – 1982, 1991
NIK KOSEF
8 Games – 1995 – 1997
KEN McGUINNESS
4 Games – 1997 – 1998
ZIGGY NISZCZOT
2 Games – 1982
DEAN PAY
12 Games – 1994 – 1998
CRAIG SALVATORI
5 Games – 1991 – 1994
RICKY WALFORD
1 Game – 1990
JIM SEDARIS
3 Games – 1995