Some effort really if you think about it. The two biggest jerks in Tennis, and amongst the top 20 in the world both come from Australia. Boxes ticked.
The cold war appears to have escalated since Tomic’s arrest in Florida, the sledging of Wawrinka in the game overnight clearly shows that Kyrgios isn’t going to let Tomic get away without a fight.
So grab your updated Tennis Jerk Bingo Card below, and cross them off as they go. Enjoy the ride. All the way down.
It’s all about the TV rights deal this week with pros and cons flying around from every directions. Most of it positive with the only exceptions being Thursday v Monday debate, and the fact that Channel 9 gets the rights. Can’t win everything I guess.
What appears to have been ruled out is the expnasion. League could well do with 2 new teams and 2 possible relocations to expand the auidence, freshen up the competition, and provide more pathways to the big time for up and comers and stop some of the flow overseas. How many young players have been plucked out of U20’s or Qld/NSW Cup this year and gone on to good and great things. Certainly enough to prove that there’ more than enough talent. Another positive will be getting more young players to stay in the game after the U20’s finishes.
If you then reduced the comp to 18 teams playing 18 rounds (one bonus round for a Magic Weekend style) there would be less stress on the players, and surely then fewer injuries which currently plague the comp.
If you’re talking expansion, let’s talk PNG. The Hunters are a sensation in the Queensland Cup, and given a chance could play their way into all league fans hearts soon. It would also be an away trip to really fear, amid reports of Police requesting Origin games not to be shown live due to violence. No one takes their league more seriously than the PNG people, and noone deserves a weekly NRL team more. Pity the NRL takes their $ more seriously, case in point Superheroes round.
But more of that after the season. We’d better supply the least reliable multi tips money can be thrown at.
GURGLER SUPER MULTI
NORTH QLD v RABBITOHS – More points in 2nd Half
BRONCOS v DRAGONS – DRAGONS +14.5 start
TIGERS v NEWCASTLE – Last Try in 75th minute of before
PENRITH v NZ – PENRITH to win
ROOSTERS v SEMI RADRADRA – Semi to score anytime and everytime.
CANBERRA v MANLY – CANBERRA +8.5 start + Ricky Stuart to be unhappy
BULLDOGS v GOLD COAST – GOLD COAST +12.5 start
SHARKS v MELBOURNE – MELBOURNE +4.5 start. $1 “wins” $65
In the one of the newest TV Legal Cases Channel 7 are reportedly suing Channel 9 over newest cooking show on the block Hotplate being too similar to Channel 7’s Cook, Cry, Repeat Fest aka My Kitchen Rules. More proper reporting on the story here.
Laughable really and reeking of pot-kettle that one channel can sue another given that most television shows these days are a copy or “homage” or reworking to something else in another country or time. Hopefully a class action against The Voice and 60 Minutes is coming. Give Erin Brockovich or Lionel Hutz a call.
I hope FTA never wonder why so many people download.
So if we’re talking laughable legal cases against a TV show or channel, we thought we’d get in on the action and throw a few around.
THE GURGLER VS CHANNEL 10
CRIME: REMAKING IT’S A KNOCKOUT
For many the red, blue, yellow, green colours mixed with the hyena pitched gaffaws of one of McDonald sisters and smooth professional sounds of Billy J Smith all rolled into one fantastic show – It’s A Knockout is a childhood memory that lingers with joy. Many can still remember giant heads, dragon wall climbing games, penguins trying to catch water in a bucket with fond memories. The amount of hits on Youtube proves that. Follow our link below for a sample.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4T4LO-2alE4
So when Channel announced a few years ago it was coming back, we like most rubbed our hands. What eventuated was worse than the worse you could expect, and not even HG Nelson could this giant turd. Gone were the stadiums, the state based comp, the treasured games, or anything good. Instead of wasting the money they did on the remake, just replay old episodes. Sorted.
VREDICT – GUILTY – hard to argue against the evidence.
THE GURGLER vs CHANNEL 9
CRIME: Ruining Summer and making the Cricket so unwatchable.
From hearing about lunch orders, previous exploits, over the top enthusiasm, and the fact just about every memorable moment revolves around the commentators careers, the Channel 9 summer of cricket is at the stage when mute is standard issue. The pending arrival of Michael Clarke to the love in may just about tip most over the edge to ABC Grandstand. Especially when it’s all about him for the first few tests. Like all of the tests of his playing career.
VERDICT: Jail for all bar Mark Taylor and Mark Nicholls. No parole for Michael Slater.
THE GURGLER vs CHANNEL 10
CRIME: MASTERCHEF (and other cooking shows to be fair) CREATING A GENERATION OF FOOD WANKERS
No longer is a meal a simple thing. There’s half dried, semi blanched, gluten free, wank drizzled with jus on every plate thanks to cooking show. Masterchef gets the blame as it is the original. Only on a food wanker show can a sandwich making contest produce a deconstructed sandwich with no bread on a breadboard.
VREDICT: Bread* and Water. *Bread is not GF or V.
THE GURGLER vs CHANNEL 7
CRIME: DANCING WITH THE STARS.
As above, for turning average Joes into Dancing experts for 10 weeks a year. It’s not bad enough that we have to have it explained to us the level and reason for their celebrity, but the critiquing of the dancing doesn’t get much worse. Actually it does, keep reading.
VERDICT: It’s on Channel 7, so get off on a warning as we’ll never watch it.
THE GURGLER vs CHANNEL 9
CRIME: ACA
The worst half an hour on television by far, and despite it’s self rating of Brisbane/Queensland’s number 1, it is really a number two. It should be punished for preying on the less cynical of the world for the ridiculous rubbish they attempt to pass off as news. Hopefully not all of them believe it. Or that it is news. One silver lining is that there’s only one left with the disappearance of TT. No cold war of LCD news is around anymore.
VERDICT: Death row, please.
THE GURGLER vs CHANNEL 10/9
CRIME: For bringing in/back Big Brother
Rewarding idiots for being themselves and declaring a winner who actually hasn’t done anything except talk about themselves and carry on about the most tedious of issues. Only enjoyable thing is the by product of sad ex celebrity stories and Hotdogs Up Late Game Show.
VERDICT: Life
Enjoy
THE GURGLER vs CHANNEL 9
CRIME: Broncos most Friday nights.
OK, so this is the seventh, but it’s warranted. Channel 9 treat their Rugby League like their Cricket, they’ll tell us what they like and insist it’s what we like. And, don’t dare to criticise. Thank heaven for the new TV deal, Shame it went to 9.
VERDICT: Parole in 2018.
We attended the PNG Hunters-Ipswich Jets game on Saturday, and that was some of the best League seen this year. We’ve already discussed it earlier, so catch up now here.
It’s worth following though, and why not jump on the PNG Hunters bandwagon now before they’re famous.
The Capital One Cup aka The League Cup kicks off on Tuesday UK time, hard to believe I know.
With all the hype of the opening day just gone, does anyone really care about the League Cup this early in the season. Or in fact at all until the final eight teams are decided and their team is amongst it. Most of the big names play second string sides, and a lot of the lower teams have bigger fish to fry in their own division. Sheffield Utd and Bradford City being the recent exceptions.
For the neutral, it’s always interesting to see lower division teams getting as far as possible, and the FFA Cup in Australia might just have the answer. Whilst that competition is a little too heavily manufactured to ensure one non-A League in the final four, some lessons can be taken in ensuring the lower teams get as far as possible.
Here’s our suggestion…
ROUND 1
Championship, League One and League Two teams are drawn against teams in their own division only. This ensures 12 teams from each division move to the next round.
ROUND 2
The 12 teams from each division continue to play teams within their own division to leave 6 teams from each level to the third round.
The bottom 12 EPL teams play against each other – 9 worst from last year plus three promoted sides. 6 sides from the EPL remain in the draw.
ROUND 3
The six teams each from the Championship. League One, and League Two are joined by the 6 winners from the EPL side of Round 2, plus the top 8 EPL sides who have yet to play. This leaves 32 teams remaining.
From here it is open slather in who meets who, as not to manufacture too much more, but until the semi finals all games are played at the home ground of the lower ranked side from the year before. Not that will guarantee upsets, but it will provide a bigger chance of them, plus it gives the lower ranked sides a little and sometimes much needed cash boost if they draw a big gun. With a game less for the Top 8 EPL sides they may find more interest in it as it is then just 5 games to a final.
ROUND 4
16 teams play each other – lower ranked team at home.
ROUND 5
8 teams play each other – lower ranked team at home.
SEMI FINALS
1 leg only – played at neutral venue – maybe even trying out something like the new Olympic Stadium or Millenium or Wembley.
FINAL
Final at Wembley
That’s just a quick revamp idea that could work. Of course nothing tops your side winning and progressing for interest in this competition.
ROUND 1 MULTI TIPS
SAFE N SOUND MULTI (Ones we think are safe) $13
WOLVES to beat Newport
NOTTINGHAM FOREST to beat Walsall
SHEFFIELD WED to beat Mansfield
PETERBOROUGH to beat Crawley
SHEFFIELD UTD to beat Morecambe
SWINDON TOWN to beat Exeter
MIDDLESBROUGH to beat Oldham
ROUGH N READY MULTI (Potential Cupsets) $39
SOUTHEND to beat Brighton
NORTHAMPTON to beat Blackpool
WYCOMBE to beat Fulham
BRISTOL ROVERS to beat Birmingham
ROUND 1 FIXTURES IN FULL
TUESDAY UK TIME
Accrington V Hull 19:45
Blackburn V Shrewsbury 19:45
Brentford V Oxford Utd 19:45
Bristol Rovers V Birm C 19:45
Cardiff V Wimbledon 19:45
Carlisle V Chesterfield 19:45
Charlton V Dag & Red 19:45
Colchester V Reading 19:45
Fleetwood V Hartlepool 19:45
Huddersfield V Notts Co 19:45
Ipswich V Stevenage 19:45
Luton V Bristol City 19:45
Millwall V Barnet 19:45
MK Dons V Leyton Orient 19:45
Morecambe V Sheff Utd 19:45
Northampton V Blackpool 19:45
Nottm Forest V Walsall 19:45
Peterborough V Crawley 19:45
Plymouth V Gillingham 19:45
Port Vale V Burnley 19:45
Rochdale V Coventry 19:45
Rotherham V Cambridge 19:45
Scunthorpe V Barnsley 19:45
Sheff Wed V Mansfield 19:45
Southend V Brighton 19:45
Swindon V Exeter 19:45
Wigan V Bury 19:45
Wolves V Newport 19:45
Wycombe V Fulham 19:45
Yeovil V QPR 19:45
York V Bradford 19:45
Bolton V Burton 20:00
WEDNESDAY UK TIME
Crewe V Preston 19:45
Oldham V Middlesbrough 19:45
Portsmouth V Derby 19:45
THURSDAY UK TIME
Doncaster v Leeds 19:45
The win now gives the Hunters a five point gap to third, and with four rounds remaining an almost guarantee of a top two finish and in prime position for a Grand Final tilt. We can’t wait.
It’s Brisbane Exhibition Time aka The Ekka, and there are two good things to come out of the Ekka each year. One is a much welcome midweek day at home, the other is ekka showbags.
But the ekka showbags of these days are so commercial, and with such little value for your Ekka spend, it’s nothing like it used to be. As ever The Gurgler is there to pick up the slack of the usual samples on offer, by presenting six of the best alternative showbags for your consideration.
THE BRONWYN BISHOP TRAVEL RIGHT EKKA SHOWBAG
1 x Helicopter ride to the function of your choice.
1 x Remote Control Helicopter to relive those moments.
10 x Business Class Flights per year.
COST: Never mind, just charge it to expenses.
RRP VALUE: $250,000 in Super for the rest of your life.
THE BILL COSBY MAGIC PILLS AND POTION EKKA SHOWBAG
1 x Career’s supply of special pills and potions
9 x Weekend supply of Rohypnol
1 x Set of Cosby Play Hush Money
1 x Theo Action Figure. Theeeeeeeeoooo.
COST: Dignity
RRP VALUE: Loss of career and lifetime reputation.
THE F!FA EKKA SHOWBAG
100 Million Ruble
100 Million Qatari Riyal
1 x Portable Shredder
1 x Fake Resignation Letter
1 x Guide to US Prisons
1 x Vote for your house for the World Cup
COST: Make an offer
RRP VALUE: Plenty.
THE WILLIE MINOGA SHOWBAG
1 x Lifesize Cutout.
Nothing Else needed.
COST: $50
RRP VALUE: Priceless
THE TENNIS JERKS EKKA SHOWBAGS
1 x Get out of Jail free card
1 x Personalised Twitter Account
2 x Hall of Shame Tournament Tickets
1 x Replacement Racquet
1 x Scorn of the Australian Public
1 x Night Out with Robert Allenby
1 x Day of Junior Football with the Fifita Brothers
1 x Sense of Entitlement
1 x Tennis Jerks – The Bingo Boardgame Find out more about Tennis Jerk Bingo here.
COST: A few Ranking spot and Tennis Australia Support
VALUE: Very little, very little indeed.
THE COURIER MAIL EKKA SHOWBAG
1 x LNP Membership
1 x Free Courier Mail of the day.
1 x Make your own XXXXXXX of the Year sticker.
Finally it’s back, and unlike the disgraceful Aussies in the Ashes, this is worth the lack of sleep. The EPL and Football League kicks off in all four divisions this weekend, and in fact has already kicked off with the first game of the season decided at Brighton this morning with the home side beating Nottingham Forest 1-0our preview of the season.
So onto the first week of the EPL. It all kicks off with Manchester United and Spurs, with the interest to see if United’s money has been spent any wiser than last year. Memphis Depay looks a great acquisition, Schweinsteiger has widely tipped as the worst potential buy of the year. Spurs have held onto Harry Kane for now, but will need as much from him as last year as Liverpool’s spending makes the top 4 look even further away this year.
Other games of interest are Bournemouth’s first game against Aston Villa. There’s plenty of love for Bournemouth, many tipping them to do well including us, and it’s good to have a brand new team in the top flight with a whole different back story and style. The other promoted clubs also have winnable games as Norwich host Crystal Palace, and Watford go to Everton. It’s easy to pick the three promoted teams for relegation, but all three have good claims for survival. Maybe it’s time for the teams who just survive every year to drop out and give the EPL a spring/summer clean.
Two of those teams play each other at Leicester as Sunderland come to visit. New Leicester manager Ranieri will no doubt be more pleasant to deal with than his predecessor, but has roundly panned and expected to be fired at some point.
Other game of interest will be Liverpool v Stoke. Liverpool have spent again this summer but the margin for error will be much tighter this year, and you tend to feel that if they aren’t top 4 or at least close at Xmas it’s all over for Rodgers.
We have also done a full Football League preview – check it out at a much better Australian Sports site than this with the Football League Weekend Preview.
And so to the first in many, many failures this year – The Gurglers UK Football multis. Not that we got them all wrong last year, League One was particularly profitable, but we’re due a better season. Like all the fans of the 92 teams kicking off this weekend, there’s plenty of time to dream.
GURGLER MULTIs
EPL $1 gets you $12
MANCHESTER UTD to beat Spurs
BOURNEMOUTH to beat Aston Villa
CHELSEA to beat Swansea
ARSENAL to beat West Ham
LIVERPOOL to beat Stoke
CHAMPIONSHIP – $1 gets you $69
IPSWICH to beat Brentford
CHARLTON to beat QPR
WOLVES to beat Blackburn
DERBY to beat Bolton
LEAGUE ONE – $1 gets you $30
COLCHESTER to beat Blackpool
SHEFFIELD UTD to beat Gillingham
BURTON ALBION to beat Scunthorpe
SOUTHEND to beat Fleetwood
LEAGUE TWO – $1 gets you $24
PORTSMOUTH to beat Dagenham & Redbridge
OXFORD UTD to beat Crawley Town
BRISTOL ROVERS to beat Northampton
WYCOMBE WANDERERS to beat York City
HARTLEPOOL to beat Morecambe
Big game this weekend between tow of the competition’s entertainers – Ipswich Jets and PNG Hunters. The Gurgler has circled this one all year and can’t wait to sample some of the action at North Ipswich Reserve.
It will no doubt be full of crazy offloads, end to end and side to side attacking rugby league, and plenty of big hits. What more could you ask for. Hopefully we’re building it up to New Year’s Eve hype to get New Year’s Eve disappointment. Doubt it.
There are five other games, and most of them have something in it for the end of the season, and our friends have something for everyone with their weekly preview of the week in Queensland Cup.
And, why not take a little piece of our multi tips below:
PNG HUNTERS to beat Ipswich
TOWNSVILLE -16.5 start v Tweed Heads
NORTHERN PRIDE +2.5 start v Mackay
SUNSHINE COAST -12.5 start v Central
BURLEIGH +10.5 start v Wynnum Manly
REDCLIFFE to beat Souths Logan
Just 5 rounds to go in the NRL and week 21 produced a few upsets. One of the biggest came on the Central Coast as the Sea Eagles proved the problem isn’t Geoff Toovey by smashing the Broncos, and gave themselves a sniff of the top eight. The biggest came as the Wests Tigers beat the Storm, the question for the Storm is whether it’s a blip or a sign of the future.
Here’s a few of our favourite articles from around the web on League. The main being the potential new TV Rights deal. The only thing not good about it is that Channel 9 appear to be on the radar to be involved. All games live? Yes please. And let’s hope a deal is done for Fox to show them all live too. Swapping the Monday for Thursday suits as well. Who wants the delayed, Bunnings filled second game on a Friday night. Sure they can use the GEM channel from next year to show alternatives, but to watch both means a late night either way.
The other offers some thought on the Origin period. An issue The Gurgler has been whining about for years. One thing is for sure. The current NRL – Origin set up stinks and fans want better.
Onto this weeks and our wrap up of what’s to come this week plus our tips for a League Super Multi.
BRISBANE v BULLDOGS – Friday 7:30pm
Was a big Brisbane win and the blurst of Josh Reynolds in this game last year. He won’t be there this week, and more than likely neither will the Bulldogs. Two great performances in a row isn’t something that usually happens for the Bulldogs and they were unlucky not to win last weekend, same as two bad performances in a row happens rarely for a Bennett led Broncos.
TIP – Broncos to win.
MANLY v SOUTH SYDNEY – Friday 7:30pm
Hard to split and hard to believe that Manly could be equal favourites heading into this game with the reigning premiers given their form for a great deal of 2015. Truth be told Souths have not been that great either this year, and this should be one of the games of the weekend.
TIP – Brett Stewart to score a try anytime.
NEW ZEALAND v ST GEORGE – Saturday 3:00pm
St George played themselves back into form last weekend as they beat the Knights and scored plenty of points in the process in a game for two busted arse sides. The question whether NZ can win without Johnson has been partially answered, and will be fully revealed with another loss this weekend.
TIP – Hard to tip – why not MANU VATUVEI to score anytime
CRONULLA v NQ COWBOYS – Saturday 5:30pm
Cowboys like Saturday nights and Sydney night games, Cronulla are doing well and deserve their position in the upper tier of the comp. The Cowboys have been less than impressive against two weaker sides at home the last two weeks. Should be quite the game.
TIP – NQ COWBOYS to win.
PARRAMATTA v PENRITH – Saturday 7:30pm
A western Sydney derby for two teams that won’t make the finals. Parramatta despite their recent losses have been in the games at half time, and seem to lose interest thereafter. Penrith meanwhile have had more injuries than a club needs. Another one hard to pick. So we’ll just go for our favourite player and the commentators very favourite to score, anytime.
TIP – SEMI RADRADRA to score anytime.
MELBOURNE v GOLD COAST – Sunday 2:00pm
Looks a Melbourne win on paper, but so did the Wests Tigers game last weekend. Gold Coast have had some handy away upsets this year, but the angriest man in League won’t allow the Storm to get done by another lower ladder side this week.
TIP – MELBOURNE to win.
NEWCASTLE v ROOSTERS – Sunday 4:00pm
A great game last Friday night, and who knows if the intensity of that battle will take a toll on the Roosters. Newcastle have already sacked their coach, and if they continue to disappoint they may have trouble attracting a decent candidate for the top job. For the record, The Gurgler would love the Walker brothers to get the gig. They may well just turn around the Knights and the predictable nature of the NRL.
TIP – NEWCASTLE +16 start
CANBERRA v WESTS TIGERS – Monday 7:00pm
Both teams played well against fancied opposition last weekend. Tigers got the win that mattered though, and look the goods again this week. Canberra’s record at home is terrible, and a loss will only anger Ricky Stuart, which is always a good thing.
