Home Blog Page 258

Your Ultimate Sloth Australian TV Sports Guide – August 30

By
Max Layne
-
0

The weekend is almost here, and so is our new Ultimate Sloth Australian TV Sports Guide, to ensure that you can soak up as much sport as possible, where too much is barely enough as Roy and HG would say. 

With so much sport, and so many other jobs and people needing your attention on the weekend it is important to balance that out, to give you as much sloth time as possible.

Which is why we offer up the Ultimate Sloth Australian TV Sports Guide, a suggestion of the best of the Australian TV Sport this weekend.

You will of course need a subscription sports package, but any mad Australian sports fan couldn’t survive on a diet of Gus Gould, Stats McAvaney and the poor excuse Channel Ten have for their F1 coverage these days.

 

Ultimate Sloth Australian TV Sports Guide Highlights

Here’s a quick overview of what’s ahead, with the full Ultimate Sloth Australian TV Sports Guide with times and channels following.

RUGBY LEAGUE

The final week of the season awaits, and with the top 8 basically sorted, there’s just the order left to decide which is way too hard to explain here quickly. Sadly there aren’t many classic match ups.

Intrust Super Competitions in Qld and NSW start their finals series this weekend. Qld’s Intrust Super Cup TV game has Townsville Blackhawks v the Ipswich Jets, one of the more entertaining rugby league teams. NSW Finals Series have games on Channel and Fox Sports. And a top 8 for 12 teams.

There is also English Rugby League, and our pick is a rare glimpse of the Toronto Wolfpack rugby league team, who play London on their quest to make the top grade of Super Grade. They are currently in an eight team playoff to get out of the second division.

AFL

No AFL this weekend, but there is the EJ Whitten Legends match on Friday night. That’ll do.

MOTOR RACING

Back to back Grands Prix after last weekend’s Belgian Grand Prix, sees a weekend full of F1. Best thing is the race is the shortest of the season., as it is usually one of the more dull races. The second practice session on the Friday is pure sports sloth bliss. Perfect background vision for a top up of the evening’s activities, or soundtrack to an Andy Capp style backwards facing lounge sloth nap.

Formula 2 is also on this weekend, and will no doubt be more entertaining.

FOOTBALL

The Old Firm Derby between Celtic and Rangers is the big ticket item for TV Sloth this weekend, at the family friendly time of 9pm.

There’s also the continuing saga of when Cristiano Ronaldo will score for Juventus, among some great European games.

Sadly, it doesn’t appear that the Old Farm derby between Ipswich and Norwich is televised this year. Arseholes. Happily Leeds v Middlesbrough is a game where at least one team looks likely to go up, so get to know them before they get famous.

And the FTA EPL game on SBS on Saturday night looks all right too – Leicester v Liverpool.

 

Ultimate Sloth Australian TV Sports Guide – August 23 – August 26

Day Time Sport Channel TV Description
Friday 18:00 NRL Fox League 502 Warriors v Raiders
Friday 19:00 Cricket Fox Sports 1 501 ODI – Ireland v Afghanistan
Friday 19:30 Football Fox Sports 5 505 Usain Bolt Central Coast Trial
Friday 19:30 AFL Fox Footy 504 EJ Whitten Legends Game
Friday 19:50 NRL Fox League 502 Storm v Panthers
Friday 22:45 F1 Fox Sports 6 506 Italian GP P2
Saturday 4:20 Football Bein Sport 3 515 Milan v Roma
Saturday 4:40 Football Bein Sport 2 514 Leeds v Middlesbrough
Saturday 13:00 Rugby League Ch9 QLD 9 ISC Finals – Townsville v Ipswich
Saturday 17:30 NRL Fox League 502 Titans v Cowboys
Saturday 23:00 F1 Fox Sports 6 506 Italian GP Qualifying
Sunday 0:40 Motor Sport Fox Sports 6 506 Formula 2 Race 1
Sunday 2:10 Rugby League Fox League 502 UK – Toronto v London Broncos
Sunday 4:25 Football Bein Sport 1 513 Parma v Juventus
Sunday 11:30 Rugby League Fox League 502 ISP Finals Week 1
Sunday 18:50 Motor Sport Fox Sports 6 506 Formula 2 Race 2
Sunday 20:55 Football Bein Sport 2 514 Celtic v Rangers
Sunday 23:05 F1 Fox Sports 6 506 Italian GP Race

 

Ultimate Sloth Australian TV Sports
DRINK OF THE WEEK

It’s hard to imagine a weekend of sport on the lounge without a refreshing beverage, and each week we’ll recommend one for you as an accompaniment to all that sport.

THIS WEEK – SP LAGER

Nothing says refreshment like PNG’s finest beer, and since they bombed out of the finals contnetion on the last day of the Intrust Super Cup season, this will be PNG’s only contribution in September.

Available at Dan Murphy’s.

 

Ultimate Sloth Australian TV Sports
SNACK OF THE WEEK

It’s equally hard to imagine a weekend of sport on the lounge with a refreshing beverage without something to snack on. So as above we’ll offer up our Snack of the Week for late night heartburn.

THIS WEEK – ROADKILL RING BURNER BEEF JERKY

Discovered on a trip to the Birdsville Races, this late night snack is not for the pissweak. Or those who don’t enjoy Schmako-like snacking.

Buy it here.

 

Ultimate Sloth Australian TV Sports
OBSCURE SPORTING SHIRT OF THE WEEK

To get into the mood for a good weekend of slothing and sport, it’s always good to wear a sporting shirt of some sort to attempt to justify to yourself and others about all the slothing ahead. And of course, the more obscure the shirt, the more respect you’ll get. 

THIS WEEK – GILLINGHAM THIRD SHIRT

Nothing says dedicated sporting fan than someone with not only a third tier English Football side’s jersey, and not even their away jersey, but their third clash strip from the previous two seasons.

You can actually buy it, and it’s cheap via the Classic Football Shirts Website.

 

 

 

Premier League Predictions Week 4 – Gurgler v Manchester United

By
Theydon Bois
-
11
premier league predictions week 4

The first International break of the season looms, so better get in quick with our Premier League Predictions Week 4 before everyone forgets about the EPL.

FOR THIS SEASON’S (19-20) WEEK 4 PREVIEW – GO HERE

Each week (and the occasional midweek) we will bring our unique look at the EPL, starting with this week’s Premier League Predictions Week 4 and then all the other things we are looking forward to.

But anyone can offer up predictions. Each week we will put our Premier League predictions up against a guest tipster, but not necessarily a person, but based on a statistic or ridiculous idea which has varying links to football. Like BBC’s Lawro vs Somebody, but better. Arguably. And we’re slightly less grumpy than Lawro.

Like this week,for our Premier League Predictions Week 4 we put our selections up against tips based on each EPL sides’ results against post Sir Alex Ferguson Manchester United.

We’ll also offer up a few other bits and pieces for the second weekend of the Premier League.

 

Premier League Predictions Week 4 Gurgler v Red Cards from past Five Seasons

Opponent Tips Background: After their poor start to the 2018-19 Premier League season, it looks like Manchester United are easier to beat than ever. It got us wondering though, how teams have fared against the Red Devils since Sir Alex Ferguson retired.

So we have got every game played against Man Utd since, and worked out the average points per game for all teams from all competitions. The higher the average points, that team get the tip. Easy.

The Gurgler’s selections are based on a mixture of listening to multiple podcasts and reading way too many websites, added with ignorance to all of that with our own thoughts.

 

Premier League Predictions Week 4 – Our Tips

LIVERPOOL to beat Leicester (2-0)
FULHAM to beat Brighton (2-1)
MANCHESTER UNITED to beat Burnley (3-0)
CHELSEA to beat Bournemouth (4-0)
CRYSTAL PALACE to beat Southampton (3-0)
DRAW – Everton v Huddersfield (0-0)
WOLVES to beat West Ham (2-1)
MANCHESTER CITY to beat Newcastle (5-0)
ARSENAL to beat Cardiff (1-0)
DRAW – Watford v Spurs (2-2)

Premier League Predictions Week 4 – EPL Sides Post Sir Alex Man Utd Form

Average points v Manchester United in brackets. Note, apparently Wolves haven’t played Man Utd since.

LIVERPOOL (1.07) to beat Leicester (0.60)
BRIGHTON (1.50) to beat Fulham (0.50)
CHELSEA (1.83) to beat Bournemouth (0,67)
SOUTHAMPTON (0.91) to beat Crystal Palace (0.09)
DRAW – Everton (1.00) v Huddersfield (1.00)
WEST HAM (0.62) to beat Wolves (na)
MANCHESTER CITY (1.38) to beat Newcastle (1.00)
ARSENAL (1.09) to beat Cardiff (0.50)
MANCHESTER UNITED (1.89) to beat Burnley (0.50)
SPURS (1.42) to beat Watford (0.50)

WANT SOME MORE STATS ON PREMIER LEAGUE v MANCHESTER UNITED v POST SIR ALEX? KEEP READING UNTIL THE END.

 

Premier League Week 4 Preview Thoughts, Odds and Sods

AUSTRALIAN TV FTA GAME

No Optus? Don’t blame you, it’s no longer free. But if you’re a tightarse like us, here is the TV game for the week.

SATURDAY 9pm – LEICESTER v LIVERPOOL

 

5 THINGS TO LOOK FORWARD TO

The early game – Leicester v Liverpool
Can Fulham and Wolves build on last weekend’s great performances?
Will Cardiff score a goal?
Will Mourinho take his grumpiness out on poor Burnley, who have midweek Europa League?
Will Newcastle employ the same tactics against Manchester City?

 

THE 0-0 SPECIAL

Everton v Huddersfield

Season Progress – 2 correct from 3 weeks

 

EPL BETTING – SUPER PREMIER LEAGUE WEEK 4 MULTI 

Here’s our best five tips rolled into one money making machine.

MANCHESTER UNITED to beat Burnley 
CHELSEA to beat Bournemouth
CRYSTAL PALACE to beat Southampton
MANCHESTER CITY to beat Newcastle
ARSENAL to beat Cardiff

$1 Multi pay $6.20

 

FANTASY FOOTBALL TIPS

We weren’t very good last season, but that won’t stop us providing a few Fantasy Football EPL tips.

  • Be wary of the bloody Spurs defender rotation.
  • Mitrovic was worth the punt
  • Can you take any Manchester United players at the moment? We say nope. Although Lukaku is likely to score a few this weekend.

OUR SIDE FOR MONEY / MOUTH

Here’s our side for this season.

 

2018-2019 Premier League Tipping Competition Results

THE GURGLER

2018-2019 Results – 19/30 – 63% – (3 Correct Scores)

Last Week – 7/10 – (2 Correct Scores)

Best – 7/10 Week 1, 3

 

OPPOSITION

2018-2019 Results – 15/30 – 50%

Week 1 – 6/10 – Week 1 Form from last 5 seasons
Week 2 – 5/10 – Change in Market Value after Transfer Window
Week 3 – 4/10 – Red Cards from last 5 seasons

 

Premier League Predictions Week 4 – Full Stats from form v Manchester United since Sir Alex left

Btw – Manchester United have averaged 1.84 points per game in the Premier League since Sir Alex left.

Team  Avg Points  Games
Chelsea          1.83 12
Brighton          1.50 4
Tottenham          1.42 12
Manchester City          1.38 13
Arsenal          1.09 11
Liverpool          1.07 14
Everton          1.00 12
Huddersfield          1.00 3
Newcastle          1.00 8
Southampton          0.91 11
Bournemouth          0.67 6
West Ham          0.62 13
Leicester          0.60 10
Cardiff          0.50 2
Burnley          0.50 6
Watford          0.50 6
Fulham          0.50 2
Crystal Palace          0.09 11
Wolves              –    

Gurglervision Channel Pilot Week Unveiled.

By
Kaaps Loche
-
0
guglervision channel pilot week

The bold TV project of Channel Ten’s Pilot Week has finished, and the results of which show was most popular are in, so the only thing left is to unveil our own Gurglervision Channel Pilot Week.

Like Channel Ten we are super excited to unveil them to our loyal fans.

Look for the Gurglervision Channel Pilot Week coming soon to Foxtel, Youtube and the Gurgler TV App.

 

Gurglervision Channel Pilot Week Schedule

Gurglervision Channel Pilot Week – MONDAY

POLITICIANS RE-ORDER IN THE HOUSE

With politicians in the news for rearranging their own furniture, and on the back of the popular cooking series on the ABC featuring Annabel Crabb and Pollies and The Block, we present the latest hit featuring those from Canberra.

This time it is all about renovation, and Re-Order in the House sees one politician renovate one room of their house.

The Pilot Week episode will see the renovation of Peter Dutton’s Electoral Office in Strathpine.

Gurglervision Channel Pilot Week – TUESDAY

URBAN SURVIVOR

A game full of backstabbing, mind games and politics does sound like a day in the life of Canberra, but it also could be Survivor. But Survivor is getting boring with its continual tropical locations, time to take it to the streets.

Contestants are kept within the barriers of a CBD, and forced to do a multitude of urban survival tasks. After 15 minutes of trying to think of something remotely funny, we will leave it up to you to think what those tasks could be.

Gurglervision Channel Pilot Week – WEDNESDAY

KENNY TONIGHT

Like the very popular, and quite funny Kinne Tonight, the main man Kinne is replaced by a rotating cast of Kenny’s.

First week it is Kenny G, second week it will be Shane Jacobson aka Kenny, and after the third week of Kenny Rogers we don’t expect this show to last any longer.

Gurglervision Channel Pilot Week  – THURSDAY

ALL KATTERS BEFORE THE COURT

Essentially Trial by Kyle but with Maverick MP for Kennedy Bob Katter in the hot seat rather than jerk Kyle.

Only Katter can hand out justice in a true but fair manner,

Gurglervision Channel Pilot Week – FRIDAY

TRUE DRUNK HISTORY STORY

A combination of Drunk History and Hamish & Andy’s True Story.

This show sees stories recounted by professional actors, but instead of being about various pockets of Australian history, or some wholesome story from Hamish and Andy, the cameras turn up to Edinburgh Castle Hotel and people like Jeff, Sheila and Ricky Mundo recount their biggest night’s on the piss.

Featuring feel good gambling stories, slightly unbelievable cab ride tales and the best late relations stories you’ll here on TV.

Gurglervision Channel Pilot Week – SATURDAY

RUGBY LEAGUE CIRCUS

No one does Saturday night variety like a bunch of rugby league players.

Big names Andrew Fifita and Blake Ferguson will be regulars with their comedy duo act, as will 

Each week will see a mix of current stars and past heroes putting on the entertainment for all of the family.

Hosted by Wendell Sailor of course.

Gurglervision Channel Pilot Week – SUNDAY

RERUNS OF OLD IT’S A KNOCKOUT

No new remake, just giving the people what they want – the Old It’s a Knockout in remastered glory.

You’ll be falling over to lock in the Gurglervision Channel for your Sunday night.

 

Celebrate National Alternative Book Week

By
Kaaps Loche
-
0
international alternative book week

Book Week has been and gone for many families around Australia in the past week, and with the costumes being put away for another year, it is about time for us to celebrate a week late with out Alternative Book Week.

As you could imagine, we will selct our favourite books for Alternative Book Week, and equally predictable will be that none of them will be winning awards, or be known by anyone who reads this website. Or maybe some people out there do have taste.

Even if you don’t agree with our Alternative Book Week selections, maybe take a leaf from the kids and use this week to take a book on public transport, and dump the phone for a few days.

With our Celebrate Alternative Book Week it could be any book.

 

Our Alternative Book Week Short List

Grand Prix 1986 – Season Review by Nigel Roebuck

Link

Written by the best F1 writer in the game, on one of the best F1 seasons ever, won by by our favourite F1 driver. Ticks a lot of sports nerd boxes.

 

Grand Prix Circuits: History and Course Map for Every Formula One Circuit

Link

Need to know about every Formula One track used since the start of the Championship in 1950? You sure do, and this book provides the right amount of information combined with a nice double page of each track map. Set yourself a goal of learning 5 tracks a day, and soon you will be in F1 anorak territory. Population us and you.

 

Merv Hughes’ Best Sporting Insults: A Collection of Killer Lines from Our Favourite Aussie Sports

Link

Who doesn’t like a good sledge, and this book provides the finest of them, and with Merv Hughes involved in the project, how could it go wrong. Why not use a few in your social sporting endeavours.

 

1000 Football Clubs: Teams, Stadiums, and Legends of the Beautiful Game

Link

Why not impress friends and colleagues with your new found knowledge of Football teams. With this book you’ll be able to tell a Gremio from a Grimsby and which Stadium of Light is in which country. All the information you need and way too much more is waiting for your poo-rusal.

 

Dirty Northern Bstrds!” And Other Tales From The Terraces: The Story of Britain’s Football Chants

Link

What’s better than knowing about Football Clubs, maybe some of the legendary and quick witted chants that get sung and make attending a Football game such an experience. Some of them are pretty nasty too, but a good chuckle awaits with this book.

 

Warwick Capper: Fool Forward

Link

Although may technically fall outside the short and punchy guidelines, it was co-written by Warwick himself, so you wouldn’t think it would be too hard to read.

 

London A to Z

Link

Ever wondered where stuff is in London, or if you have lived there a trip down memory lane to all the Wetherspoons you visited in your time there. There’s also the challenge to find all Football teams home grounds in London without looking up the index. Maybe you just want to study a page a day in your throne time.

 

The Darwin Awards

Link

Well known by now, but if you indulged it is a tremendous collection of stories of people doing very stupid things. This is just the first in the collection, so you may end up reading the whole series if or when you get hooked.

 

Fox Tossing: And Other Forgotten and Dangerous Sports, Pastimes, and Games

Link

A window into how people killed time before Facebook, Smart Phones and Altered Beast.

 

HOW I CONQUERED YOUR PLANET by John Swartwelder

Link

Are you a fan of The Simpsons back when it was good? Well from the writer of 59 of those golden episodes comes a range of short novels with all the humour you’d hope for from the Golden Mirkin era of Simpsons. With only a couple of 100 pages and short chapters, it is the perfectly sized fiction book for your sit and read. There’s plenty to choose from, we’ve selected the best here.

 

Finally, let’s finish on a classy note…..

The Book of Poo: A Spotter’s Guide

Link

It is what it says it is, and for some reason this has been assembled for the number two fans out there.

EFL League Cup Round 2 Predictions – Gurgler vs Current Season Form

By
Theydon Bois
-
0
league cup round 3 predictions

Another midweek, and another batch of English Footbal lfixtures that very few people care about, but even if the clubs and players don’t, we still do and offer up our EFL League Cup Round 2 Predictions.

Some of the EPL sides join the competition at this point, none of the good ones who will be winning anything this year, just the ones who have EPL survival or the last Europa League place to play for, so it will be interesting to see if any of them try. Youth players getting ready for a taste of their respective club’s action.

But we care, which is why we bother with our EFL League Cup Round 2 Predictions.

Much like our popular Premier League Predictions we will put our tips up against an opponent, like Lawros tips at the BBC. But unlike those predictions against celebrities of varying mainstream awareness, we put our  EFL League Cup Round 2 Predictions up against some different, a stat based opponent, like this week it is all about each team’s current season form.

Here are our  our EFL League Cup Round 2 Predictions, but first…

 

EFL League Cup Round 2 TV Games

For those in Australia and who have Bein Sports, here are the TV Games for Round 2. Times AEST.

Wed 4:25am – Swansea v Crystal Palace
Wed 4:40am – AFC Wimbledon v West Ham
Thu 4:40am – Nottingham Forest v Newcastle

EFL League Cup Round 2 Points of Interest

  • There will be at least four teams from League or League Two in the 3rd Round
  • Or at least 13 non EPL sides in the third round.
  • The three biggest mismatches (according to current league position) are
    • Bournemouth v Milton Kynes
    • Brentford v Cheltenham
    • Fulham v Exeter
  • The closest match up is the all EPL tie between Brighton and Southampton.

 

The Gurgler’s EFL League Cup Round 2 Predictions – The Upsets

Note: these tips and all tips are based on who qualifiies for the next round…

Exeter to beat Fulham

Lincoln to beat Blackburn

Fleetwood to beat Leicester

Macclesfield to beat Walsall

Rotherham to beat Everton

Bristol Rovers to beat Queens Park Rangers

Newport to beat Oxford

Stoke to beat Huddersfield

Nottingham Forest to beat Newcastle United

 

Our EFL League Cup Round 2 Predictions – The Home Comforts

Bournemouth to beat Milton Keynes Dons

Brentford to beat Cheltenham

West Brom to beat West Bromwich Albion

Middlesbrough to beat Rochdale

Millwall to beat Plymouth

Cardiff to beat Norwich

Wycombe to beat Forest Green

Leeds to beat Preston

Doncaster to beat Blackpool

Swansea to beat Crystal Palace

Watford to beat Reading

 

Our EFL League Cup Round 2 Predictions – The Away Pays

Southampton to beat Brighton

Derby to beat Hull

Wolves to beat Sheffield Wednesday

West Ham to beat AFC Wimbledon

Aston Villa to beat Burton

 

 

EFL League Cup Round 2 Predictions – Our Opponent…Tips Based on Current Season Form

Here are all the games with tips based on current season form – on average points per game top even out the fixture volume. In the case of two tie breakers, we used goal difference. 

Note: stats are taken from after Sunday’s games.

Swansea to beat Crystal Palace

Brentford to beat Cheltenham

Leicester to beat Fleetwood

Leeds to beat Preston

Doncaster to beat Blackpool

Aston Villa to beat Burton

Derby to beat Hull

Middlesbrough to beat Rochdale

Brighton to beat Southampton

Bristol Rovers to beat Queens Park Rangers

AFC Wimbledon to beat West Ham

Exeter to beat Fulham

Newport to beat Oxford

Norwich to beat Cardiff

Forest Green to beat Wycombe

Bournemouth to beat Milton Keynes Dons

Lincoln City to beat Blackburn

Walsall to beat Macclesfield

Sheffield Wednesday to beat Wolverhampton Wanderers

Stoke to beat Huddersfield

West Bromwich Albion to beat Mansfield

Everton to beat Rotherham

Nottingham Forest to beat Newcastle United

Millwall to beat Plymouth

Watford to beat Reading

Best of Intrust Super Cup Round 24

By
Max Layne
-
0
Intrust Super Cup Country Week 2019

The completion of Intrust Super Cup Round 24 sees the end of the regular season, and all of the questions have now been answered.

Redcliffe are the minor premiers after they defeated the Sunshine Coast Falcons rather convincingly on Saturday evening, it was enough to finish ahead of Burleigh Bears (2nd, -1 point) and Townsville )3rd, -2 points), both of whom won their final round fixtures.

Whilst it was a good day for the Top 3 sides, it was certainly not as good for the rest of the top six going into the weekend. Both Easts and the PNG Hunters lost, and the Northern Pride drew. The loss a particular disaster for the PNG Hunters as Ipswich won on the Sunday and took the last finals place from the PNG side.

Down the ladder, Central Capras ended the season well with a second straight win, and the Souths Logan Magpies got a long overdue victory in Mackay.

In a slightly interesting coincidence, the first three games of the finals series will now see replays of the 2014, 2015 and 2016 Grand Finals.

A quick rundown of  Intrust Super Cup Round 24 awaits, and stay tuned for our finals preview and coverage.

 

Intrust Super Cup Round 24 Results

Easts Tigers 18 BURLEIGH BEARS 48
Wynnum Seagulls 22 TOWNSVILLE BLACKHAWKS 26
CENTRAL CAPRAS 38 PNG Hunters 22
Northern Pride 10 Tweed Heads Seagulls 10
Mackay Cutters 14 SOUTHS LOGAN MAGPIES 22
REDCLIFFE DOLPHINS 45 Sunshine Coast Falcons 16
Norths Devils 14 Ipswich Jets 22

Redcliffe Dolphins 2018 Minor Premiers

2016 Grand Final Replay set for Week 2 of Finals

Redcliffe are the 2018 Intrust Super Cup minor premiers after defeating the Sunshine Coast Falcons 45-16 on Saturday night, but not before the Burleigh Bears put the pressure on with a big win over the in form Easts Tigers in the earlier TV game.

The star for the Dolphins on Saturday night was Kotoni Staggs who collected four tries and four goals in Redcliffe’s big win over the Sunshine Coast. 

Redcliffe had the game in control throughout, the closest the Falcons came after Redcliffe scored the first two tries in the 8th and 12th minutes was when they replied in the 17th minute to make it 8-6 temporarily. From there Redcliffe skipped ahead, putting on two more tries, and a cheeky field goal to finish the first half 21-6 in front.

The second half was more of the same as Redcliffe ran in five tries, three of them for Kotoni Staggs, compared to two from the Falcons, the last of which was in the 79th minute. The margin over a good side showed Redcliffe are ready for finals battle after some mixed results at home in the last few months.

Burleigh did everything they could to take the Minor Premiership from Redcliffe, having beaten Easts 48-18 in the earlier game at Suzuki Stadium.

There was little to choose between the two sides heading into the match, but it looked like the Tigers recent superior form would carry them to victory, leading 10-0 after 12 minutes, scoring their first just three minutes into the clash. But it was to be their only joy of the first half as the Bears piled on four tries before half time to lead 24-10 at the break.

The second half started off as good as it could for the home side as they scored straight away to reduce the margin to ten points, but once again the Bears took control with another three tries, and the game was as good as gone at 36-14. There was one more try in the Tigers, and given their come back the previous week against Souths Logan, you could 100% rule them out, until Burleigh sealed the match with another two tries to run out convincing 48-18 winners. Kurtis Rowe and Sami Sauiluma had grabbed themselves doubles for the Bears, and Kea Pere did likewise for the Tigers.

This now means that Redcliffe will play Burleigh after both sides get a week off in Week 1 of the finals. The match is a replay of the 2016 Intrust Super Cup Grand Final, which went to Burleigh on that day. Led by Cameron Cullen, who is now making a difference with the Dolphins.

 

The Top Six

Home Finals for Northern Queensland Sides, Easts In, and Ipswich steal sixth.

Townsville Blackhawks and Northern Pride sealed home games for week 1 of the finals with the results they needed over their respective Seagulls rivals on Saturday evening.

The Blackhawks played the Wynnum Seagulls at Kougari Oval, and they had to both come from behind, and also hold off a late charge from Wynnum in their 26-22 win. In fact, they got home on the back of kicking three out of five conversions, which was two better than Wynnum’s and ended up the difference between the sides.

After leading 10-0 early, the Blackhawks found themselves behind at half time 14-10 after three tries from the home side. But the visitors ran in three unanswered tries themselves after the break to lead 26-14. Wynnum made it interesting with tries in the 6th and 79th minutes, but it was not enough, but could have been different if they had landed two of more conversion. The result mattered little for Townsville who had a home final regardless but couldn’t finish in the top two after the Bears earlier result.

Northern Pride jumped Easts Tigers into fourth and grabbed a home final thanks to a low scoring draw with the Tweed Heads Seagulls in Cairns. The Seagulls actually outscored the Pride two tries to one, but the Pride slotted penalties in the 71st and 77th minutes to extend their 6-4 half time lead to 10-4 before Tweed Heads scored in the last minute to draw the game. The one point for the draw enough to jump Easts, who they will now play in a replay of the 2014 Grand Final.

The PNG Hunters left their finals hopes in the hands of the Norths Devils after suffering a surprise loss in Rockhampton to the Central Capras.

Central scored early in the second minute, and although the Hunters replied in the tenth minute, they slowly but surely fell further and further behind the Capras. The Capras laid on four more first half tries to lead 28-10 at the break.

The Hunters scored first after half time to reduce the gap to 12 points, but the Capras scored again, and even though the Hunters responded seven minute later to reduce the gap again to 12 points, there were no further tries and two penalty goals from the Capras added salt. This then left the Hunters at the mercy of the Norths v Ipswich result on the Sunday, a long wait was ahead of PNG fans.

Ipswich Jets stole the last position in the Top 6 after their win to the Norths Devils in Sunday’s fixture.

Needing a win to make the finals at the PNG Hunters, the Jets duly delivered, but not after being pushed all the way by the Norths Devils, who were knocked out of finals contention the previous week. Ipswich can thank the lucky boots of Marmin Barba who unlike the Devils, converted all his three attempts and slotted two penalty goals late in the second half to seal the win.

The Jets trailed at half time 8-6, as their 13th minute try was the meat in the sandwich of two unconverted Devils tries, the last of which was just two minutes before the break. Ipswich landed a big blow early in the second half with tries in the 45th and 49th minutes, the last to tryscoring machine Marmin Barba. That gave the Jets a manageable 18-8 lead. Norths replied through Sam Tagataese in the 57th minute to set up a tense finish, the score 18-14, and PNG were still in the race.

Tension was released for the Jets when they kicked penalty goals in the 63rd and 68th minute, giving a handy eight point lead, which they held to the end, and live to fight on through the finals. Sadly for PNG fans, at the Hunters expense.

This means that the games in the first week of the finals will be Townsville against their 2015 Grand Final foes Ipswich Jets, and the Northern Pride taking on the Easts Tigers in Cairns. Townsville beat the Jets in Townsville earlier in the season, where the Tigers got the better of the Pride in Cairns. A great finals series awaits.

 

Elsewhere

Souths Logan ended the season with a little joy at the expense of wooden spooners Mackay Cutter, with a 22-14 win in Mackay on Saturday night. Mackay jumped out of the blocks with two tries within 14 minutes to lead 8-0, before the Magpies responded with two tries before half time to lead 10-8 at the break. Souths Logan skipped further ahead with another two tries by the 50th minute, to which Mackay could respond with one more try in the 55th minute. The result was a welcome break from a losing streak for Souths Logan, for Mackay their fate as wooden spooners was sealed last weekend.

 

Final 2018 Intrust Super Cup Ladder

Team P W D L F A +/- Pts
Redcliffe Dolphins 23 16 1 6 600 382 218 35
Burleigh Bears 23 16 0 7 589 427 162 34
Townsville Blackhawks 23 15 0 8 571 348 223 32
Northern Pride 23 13 1 9 474 404 70 29
Easts Tigers 23 13 0 10 576 503 73 28
Ipswich Jets 23 13 0 10 554 505 49 28
PNG Hunters 23 13 0 10 444 418 26 28
Norths Devils 23 11 0 12 516 553 -37 24
Souths Logan Magpies 23 10 0 13 534 499 35 22
Sunshine Coast Falcons 23 10 0 13 453 464 -11 22
Tweed Heads Seagulls 23 9 1 13 435 634 -199 21
Wynnum Manly Seagulls 23 9 0 14 472 593 -121 20
Central Queensland Capras 23 7 0 16 390 576 -186 16
Mackay Cutters 23 4 1 18 386 688 -302 11

 

 

 

 

NOMINATIONS | August 2018 Jerk of the Month

By
admin
-
0
november 2019 jerk of the month

Time for the much awaited unveiling of the nominations for August 2018 Jerk of the Month, and it is a bumper crop of jerks, a record number of monthly nominations.

Be it from those involved in politics, the usual quota from rugby league, and a couple of Jerk regulars from Tennis, all of these people deserve their nomination, and all of them deserve to be named August 2018 Jerk of the Month.

But it all comes down to you, the loyal reader or visitor of this fine website, to vote on who deserves the title of August 2018 Jerk of the Month. Remember, you can select more than one person if they deserve it. And they will.

Vote early. Vote often.

 

PETER DUTTON

Why are they nominated?

For starting the process that saw another Australian Prime Minister toppled.

How he ever thought anyone wanted him as PM shows just how out of touch Canberra is with the rest of Australia.

Some people in his electorate gave him an early poll on how much they wanted him as PM by trashing his office.

Jerk Rating: 9/10 – with as punchable a face in Australian politics, he has thoroughly earned the title of Jerk.

 

TONY ABBOTT

Why are they nominated?

For his involvement in the above attempted coup.

And years of moaning about whatever Rupert Murdoch wants from the back bench.

Jerk Rating: 9/10 – Speedo wearing fool.

 

ALL AUSTRALIAN POLITICIANS

Why are they nominated?

For being the selfish C’s they are.

Putting their own politics ahead of everything else.

Sure, not every politician can be a Man/Woman of the People like our favourite politician Charles Strunk, but the ones in Canberra could pull their heads out of the arses long enough to stop getting rid of leaders.

Unless they join in our idea for an Annual Leadership Spill Gala Event that we have previously floated this week.

Jerk Rating: 10/10 – do your job.

 

GUS GOULD

Why are they nominated?

For his handling of the dumping of Anthony Griffin.

Sure Griffin probably should have been showed the door, but to do it the way he has was a disgrace. And hasn’t it helped the Panthers?

And his all year round arrogance.

And continued involvement in Channel Nein rugby league.

Won June 2018 Jerk of the Month already.

Jerk Rating: 9/10 – Consistently demanding nominations for Jerk of the Month polls..

 

JOHN HOPOATE

Why are they nominated?

The poster boy for rugby league jerk made it back into the headlines this month after receiving a 10 year ban from rugby league for his behaviour.

Threatening to smash a few people whilst playing in a Manly competition rugby league is a surefire way to get a nomination.

Although should be retrospectively nominated for his previous finger work.

Jerk Rating: 7/10 – A blast from the past of Jerkdom who couldn’t help himself.

 

ANDREW GAFF

Why are they nominated?

For smashing the face of an opponent with a cowards punch.

Sure, he only meant to smash him in the chest, but he’s still a worthy August 2018 Jerk of the Month nomination.

Jerk Rating: 2/10 – A one off nomination who we’ll probably never hear from again.

 

DONALD TRUMP

Why are they nominated?

Pencil this one in every month.

Usually never far from jerkdom, his twitter account alone every month earns him a nomination.

Here’s a link to some of his best from August.

Jerk Rating: 9.9/10 – As close as to the perfect Jerk you can get anywhere in the world

 

RICKY STUART

Why are they nominated?

For consistently blaming his inadequate results (potentially due to a lack of his ability to coach) on match officials.

Jerk Rating: 5/10 – Probably a nice man, but moans way too much.

 

SUNDAY NRL FOOTY SHOW

Why are they nominated?

For their disgraceful fat shaming of Dave Taylor on their Sunday wrap up segment.

Sure, the amount of weight Dave Taylor has put on since his prime is a point of passing interest, but not to be turned into a parody Gutsy Performance of the week.

Despite the cries of being horrified at the thought that someone thought they were fat shaming via twitter, rather than appearing to be genuinely sorry, it was as ordinary as one expects from Channel Nein.

We certainly wouldn’t expect a decent update about the Intrust Super Cup.

Jerk Rating: 9/10 – Expect nothing less from a Channel Nein rugby league production.

 

GILLON MCLACHLAN – AFL KILLER

Why are they nominated?

The AFL boss has been recently lampooned on the Roy and HG show for being a killer of the game of AFL, especially in Tasmania.

But the main reason for his nomination this month was due to his comments about the AFLW, which went down as well as could be imagined.

Nice to see the AFL trying to match the NRL for a change, instead of vice versa.

Jerk Rating: 5/10 – First time nominee, so benefit of doubt.

 

JOSE MOURINHO

Why are they nominated?

For continuing moaning as manager of Manchester United.

Crying poor about being in charge of the world’s richest sporting club’s side. Boo Hoo, you didn’t get to waste another 70 Million Pounds on a player you’ll be bullying within a season.

Actually, scratch that, he’ll be gone by Xmas.

Jerk Rating: 8/10 – a consistent performer in Jerk.

 

NICK KYRGIOS

Why are they nominated?

Because he is the epitome of the term Jerk.

This month he is nominated for his fine work in the following links. 

Kyrgios on Tanking. The crowd hates Kyrgios.

And there’s still a US Open to go for September.

Jerk Rating: 10/10 – one of the main reasons for creating this award.

 

BERNARD TOMIC

Why are they nominated?

At least Kyrgios occasional tries to win games occasionally, Tomic the Tank Engine does not, and is a disgrace. 

Not even a US Open berth is enough to dislodge the chip on the shoulder.

His latest effort against the Special K just another example of a pulled heartlige ruining his tennis career.

Jerk.

Jerk Rating: 10/10 – Epitome of Jerk. Why not play Tennis Jerk Bingo and enjoy his slide.

 

HELMUT MARKO

Why are they nominated?

Another one whose nomination has been a long time coming, from his years of being a special adviser at the Red Bull F1 team.

After years of his anti-Webber agenda, he has taken aim at Daniel Ricciardo’s decision to leave Red Bull. And he’s a Jerk.

Here’s his thoughts on Daniel Ricciardo leaving Red Bull.

Jerk Rating: 7/10 – Jerk to Webber, Jerk to Ricciardo, Jerk.

 

PAUL GALLEN

Why are they nominated?

For deciding to hog the ball for Cronulla for another year.

Jerk Rating: 7/10 – a consistent performer in Jerk.not as bad now he can’t moan about origin every year, but still a jerk.

 

 

VOTE FOR AUGUST 2018 JERK OF THE MONTH NOW

Here’s your chance to decide this month’s ultimate jerk.

You can vote for as many people who you think are deserving of the August 2018 Jerk of the Month award.

 

[socialpoll id=”2517141″]

Bein Sports Australia Football Highlights – Five Reasons To Care – #2

By
Theydon Bois
-
0
Bein Sports European Football Highlights

Our Bein Sports Australia Football Highlights, to spread the word about all of the best non EPL football from the championship, La Liga in Spain, Serie A in Italy, France, Germany and so much more.

As a first class sports nerd we love Bein Sports Australia Football, it offers up everything that the EPL doesn’t, mainly because none of the EPL clubs play in the leagues broadcast.

Of course we also care about the EPL – why not check out our Premier League Predictions Week 3.

But there’s not just 10 games to care about, there’s 72 teams in the EFL, 20 in France, Italy and Spain, and 18 in Germany. And Bein Sports Australia Football broadcasts as many as is humanly possible to watch.

Too much football is barely enough we like to say. So we offer up just five reasons to Care about Bein Sports Australia Football Highlights for this weekend.

 

Bein Sports Australia Football Best TV Games

SAT 4:20am AEST – BEIN SPORTS 1 – CH513

GERMAN SEASON KICKS OFF WITH ONLY TEAM THAT CAN WIN TITLE
BUNDESLIGA – BAYERN MUNICH v HOFFENHEIM

The ever popular German Bundesliga join the Bein Sports Australia Football line up, and features an early glimpse at the only team that can win it. Although, given there’s a new manager and a few players who look like wanting a move out, one wonders if there is a chink in the armour at this early stage of the season.

SAT 4:40am AEST – BEIN SPORTS 2 – CH514

PRMOTION HEAVYWEIGHTS KICK OFF EFL WEEKEND
EFL – MIDDLESBROUGH v WEST BROM

Two teams fancied for promotion at the start of the season, and they currently sit 2nd and 7th. Middlesbrough have a 3-1-0 record so far, and have conceded just twice. West Brom put seven past QPR last weekend., unsurprisingly the division’s leading scorers with 13 goals in 4 games. One place behind fellow relegation side Swansea, but plenty in front of 

SAT 23:55pm AEST – BEIN SPORTS 2 – CH514

LEEDS ON TOP FOR NOW….
EFL – NORWICH v LEEDS

Leeds are top of the Championship, but did the same last season early, so are hard to trust over full season. Norwich have started a little slower and sit 15th.

SUN 1:50am AEST – BEIN SPORTS 1 – CH513

ITALIAN FOOTBALL DOUBLE HEADER
SERIE A – JUVENTUS v LAZIO then NAPOLI v MILAN

Ronaldo makes his home debut for Juventus against Lazio, and two of Juve’s nearest competitiors follow up a few hours later.

SUN 7:00am AEST – BEIN SPORTS 1 – CH513

GERMAN FOOTBALL RACE FOR SECOND BEGINS EARLY
BUNDESLIGA – BORUSSIA DORTMUND v RB LEIPZIG

With the Bundesliga title being settled after Friday’s game, the race for second has an early battle here.

That’s our Bein Sports Australia Football Highlights – Five Reasons To Care – but the click below for all of the Football.

FULL SCHEDULE OF ALL LIVE BEIN SPORTS FOOTBALL

 

Our “Best” EFL Football League Bets

OVER 2.5 GOALS – Norwich v Leeds
ASTON VILLA to beat Reading
SUNDERLAND to beat AFC Wimbledon
LUTON TOWN to beat Shrewsbury
LINCOLN to beat Notts County
MANSFIELD to beat Macclesfield

$1 to “pay” $33.00

Our Reasonably Obvious European Football Multi

BARCELONA to beat Real Valladolid
ATLETICO MADRID to beat Rayo Vallecano
REAL MADRID to beat Girona
JUVENTUS to beat Lazio
MILAN/DRAW v Napoli
ROMA to beat Atalanta
BAYERN MUNICH to beat Hoffenheim
PSG to beat Angers
NICE to beat Dijon
MARSEILLE to beat Rennes

$1 to “pay” $26.00

 

Bein Sports Australia Football Highlights Shows

Missed most of the above action or couldn’t be bothered in the first place? 

Follow the below Highlights shows to see the best of each competition, and impress your friends and family, with your newly acquired football knowledge.

SCOTLAND – 6pm – CH514
FRANCE – 6pm – CH513
EFL FOOTBALL LEAGUE – 6:30pm – CH514
GERMANY – 7pm – CH513
SPAIN – 8pm – CH513
ITALY – 9pm – CH513

All shows on Monday, and all repeated later, many times.

Quick Look at the Intrust Super Cup Round 24

By
Max Layne
-
0

Time for a quick look at Intrust Super Cup Round 24, the final weekend of the regular season.

There are still important things to be decided, like the Minor Premiership between Redcliffe and Burleigh, the treasured home finals, and the final make up of the top six, with one team out of the Northern Pride, PNG Hunters or Ipswich Jets to miss out. Tough on the Northern Pride as they could have sealed top six with a win last weekend.

It’s all ahead in the Intrust Super Cup Round 24.

 

THE BATTLE FOR THE TOP

The minor premiership is up or grabs this weekend between Redcliffe and Burleigh after they got the better of their opponents Northern Pride and Townsville in the top four battle last weekend. The equation for Redcliffe is simple, win and they are  minor premiers, lose and it all depends on Burleigh.

Redcliffe sit only behind Easts Tigers in the second half of the season form, but did have a stumble a few rounds ago where they lost to Ipswich and drew with Mackay at home. They regrouped and have beaten top four opponents Townville and the Pride in the last two weeks to put themselves in pole position for first place. Adam Mogg has done a great job with a squad has less of the NRL talent than quite a number of other sides, and with Cameron Cullen have a general who has done it all recently with Burleigh. They should take care of the Falcons, but haven’t won at Dolphin Oval since Round 18, where coincidentally they beat the Burleigh Bears.

Talking of the Bears, they will play a home final regardless of the result this weekend, but they could finish between 1st and 3rd depending on results, so the vital first week of the finals is up for grabs. Their assignment is the tougher of the two sides, having to go to Suzuki Stadium against the competition’s form side in the Easts Tigers. They are on a run of three straight wins however, including beating the Townsville Blackhawks last weekend. Whatever the result, it should be some game to kick off the Intrust Super Cup Round 24.

How They Stand

1st Redcliffe – 33pts +189
2nd Burleigh – 32pts + 132

Who They Play

Redcliffe play Sunshine Coast (H)
Burleigh play Easts Tigers (A)

 

THE BATTLE FOR THE TOP SIX

Townsville Blackhawks are the only side who are guaranteed finals football out of this group, and can actually still finish second if they win and Burleigh lose, thanks to their huge points difference. Either way they will be playing a game at Jack Manski Oval in the finals, but who wouldn’t want the vital extra week off. Townsville were on track to possibly finish first, but have stumbled the past two weeks against the other top teams in Redcliffe at home and Burleigh away. The losses also bring into question their premiership credentials, despite boasting arguably the best squad in the competition. They take on Wynnum this weekend, who have found some form at home after struggling for wins at Kougari for most of the season.

Easts Tigers are the form team heading into the finals, having lost just twice in the second half of the season, and their come from behind win over the Souths Logan Magpies in last weekend’s TV game shows the type of attitude that will win finals games. Their only loss in the last nine games came against Redcliffe in Country Week. The Tigers are effectively safe in the top six, needing an extraordinary amount of bad results to go against them, but a home finals would be a just reward for their late season form. A win should secure that. But they do play Burleigh who also have something to play for – a potential minor premiership. It should be a TV Game worth tuning in for with plenty on the line.

The Northern Pride were staring at real possibility of a home final in week 1 before last weekend, but now can be thrown out of the top six after their tight loss last weekend in Cairns to the Redcliffe Dolphins, and the Ipswich Jets and PNG Hunters posting big wins. They play one of those sides well beaten last weekend in the Tweed Heads Seagulls, and at home where they are usually hard to beat. This should mean that the Pride will play finals football.

For a brief moment, of less than a day, the Ipswich Jets had taken sixth place from the PNG Hunters with a big win over Tweed Heads. This meant the PNG Hunters would need to win, and win well. No problem it seemed for the team coming into this round on the longest winning run (six games and counting) as they posted one of their biggest wins of the year against Wynnum 40-16, making it four good wins in a row on PNG soil, beating Norths, Northern Pride and Burleigh. Sadly, they’ll probably miss out on a home final, but that may just give fans of the Intrust Super Cup their first glance of the reigning premiers on TV, or not given they have had no TV games this year unbelievably. But winning is a must, to keep the Jets from stealing their finals spot. They play the Central Capras in Rockhampton, a ground where they have had mixed success in the past, and the Capras broke through with a win last start.

Ipswich will try their best to steal that place, and given their result last weekend look very capable of doing so. The Jets boast one of the swiftest back three in the Intrust Super Cup (in Michael Purcell, Marmin Barba and Wes Conlon) and they scored eight tries between them last weekend. But they face stiffer opposition this weekend, because although Norths officially are out of finals contention after last weekend’s surprise loss to Mackay, the Devils will still want to finish the year on a high and build for an eve more successful 2019. A win is a must for Ipswich, but it may not even be enough by the time they play as all of their rivals would have played Saturday night. Either way, not a bad game to go and watch, as Sunday’s only fixture.

How They Stand

3rd Townsville – 30pts +219
4th Easts – 28 pts + 103
5th Pride – 28pts +70
6th PNG Hunters – 28pts +42
7th Ipswich – 26pts +40

Who They Play

Townsville play Wynnum (A)
Easts play Burleigh (H)
Northern Pride play Tweed Heads (H)
PNG Hunters play Central (A)
Ipswich play Norths (A)

 

Intrust Super Cup Round 24 Predictions

EASTS TIGERS to beat Burleigh Bears
TOWNSVILLE BLACKHAWKS to beat Wynnum Seagulls
MACKAY CUTTERS to beat Souths Logan Magpies
NORTHERN PRIDE to beat Tweed Heads Seagulls
REDCLIFFE DOLPHINS to beat Sunshine Coast Falcons
PNG HUNTERS to beat Central Capras
NORTHS DEVILS to beat Ipswich Jets

Intrust Super Cup Round 24 Matches

Easts Tigers v Burleigh Bears at Suzuki Stadium, Saturday, August 25 – 1.10pm – TV GAME
Wynnum Manly Seagulls v Townsville Blackhawks at BMD Kougari Oval, Saturday, August 25 – 5pm
Mackay Cutters v Souths Logan Magpies at BB Print Stadium Mackay, Saturday, August 25 – 6pm
Northern Pride v Tweed Heads Seagulls at Barlow Park, Saturday, August 25 – 6pm
Redcliffe Dolphins v Sunshine Coast Falcons at Dolphin Stadium, Saturday, August 25 – 6pm
CQ Capras v PNG Hunters at Browne Park, Saturday, August 25 – 6pm
Norths Devils v Ipswich Jets at Bishop Park, Sunday, August 26 – 3pm

 

Intrust Super Cup Round 24 Teams

Easts Tigers v Burleigh Bears

Easts Tigers

1. Scott Drinkwater 2. Linc Port 4. Marion Seve 3. Shane Neumann 5. Brett Kelly 6. Leon Ellia-Niukore 7. Brayden Torpy 8. Albert Vete 9. Tommy Butterfield 10. Dave Tyrrell 11. Jake Foster (c) 12. Jarred Tuite 13. Jack Svendsen 14. Chris Ostwald 15. Ash Little 16. Tino Faasuamaleaui 17. Matthew Groat

Burleigh Bears

  1. Kurtis Rowe 2. Henare Wells 3. Sami Sauiluma 4. Joshua Berkers 5. Toby Mcintosh 6. Dylan Phythian 7. Jamal Fogarty 8. Luke Page (c) 9. Pat Politoni 17. Jai Whitbread 11. Jamie Dowling 12. Hayden Schwass 13. Sam Coster 10. Matt White 14. Jeff Lynch 15. Kai O’donnell 18. Matthew Robinson

 

Wynnum Manly Seagulls v Townsville Blackhawks

Wynnum Manly Seagulls

  1. Daniel Ogden 2. Peter Gubb 3. Jeriah Goodrich 4. Delouise Hoeter 5. Edward Burns 6. Shaun Nona 7. Jayden Berrell 8. Stedman Lefau 9. Mitch Cronin (C) 10. Patrick Carrigan 11. Adam Tuimavave-Gerrard 12. Til Vea 13. Max Elliott 14. Mitch Frei 15. Alex Barr 16. Salesi Funaki 17. Lachlan Lee

Townsville Blackhawks

  1. Carlin Anderson 2. Jonathon Reuben 3. Shaun Hudson 4. Levi Dodd 5. Kalifa Faifai-Loa 6. Zach Dockar-Clay 7. Jaelen Feeney 8. Brenden Santi 9. Krys Freeman 10. Rod Griffin 11. Temone Power 12. Andrew Davey 13. Joe Boyce 15. Daniel Beasley 17. Cade Maloney 18. Andrew Niemoeller (C) 22. Sione Lousi

 

Mackay Cutters v Souths Logan Magpies

Mackay Cutters

  1. Yamba Bowie 2. Sheldon Bobbert 3. Nathan Saumalu 4. Jayden Batchelor 5. Kurt Wiltshire 6. Kyle Laybutt 7. Nicho Hynes (c) 8. Jordan Grant 9. Cooper Bambling 10. Nicholas Brown 11. Jye Andersen 12. Shane Wright 13. Bennett Leslie 14. Jayden Hodges 15. Lona Kaifoto 16. Jack Brock 17. John O’brien

Souths Logan Magpies

  1. Corey Allan 2. Benaiah Bowie 3. Lenny Magey 4. Cameron Booth 5. Paul Rokolati 6. Guy Hamilton 7. Sam Scarlett 8. George Fai 9. Travis Waddell 10. Sam Lavea 11. Brendon Gibb 12. Daniel Tamou 13. Phil Dennis (c) 14. Manaia Cherrington 15. Rory Ferguson 16. Cody Mcintosh 17. Rhys Melville

 

Northern Pride v Tweed Heads Seagulls

Northern Pride

  1. Jack Murphy 2. Murray Taulagi 3. Brett Anderson 4. Javid Bowen 5. Enari Tuala 6. Jordan Biondi-Odo 7. Jack Campagnolo 8. William Bugden 9. Ryan Ghietti (c) 10. Darryn Schonig 11. Graham Clark 12. Tom Hancock 13. David Murphy 14. Connor Jones 15. Emry Pere 16. Troy Kapea 17. Sheldon Powe-Hobbs 18. Shawn Bowen 19. Matthew Musumeci 20. Justin Castellaro 21. Nathan Wales

Tweed Heads Seagulls

  1. Alex Grant 5. Kiah Cooper 4. Shaun Carney 3. Brendan Elliot 2. Ryland Jacobs 6. Eli Levido 7. Rex Johnson 15. Kalani Going 9. Jack Cook 16. Leilani Latu 11. Lamar Manuel-Liolevave (c) 12. Bryce Cartwright 13. Kirk Murphy 10. Jaleel Seve Derbas 17. Tristan Lumley 18. Sam Meskell 20. Maia Sands

 

Redcliffe Dolphins v Sunshine Coast Falcons

Redcliffe Dolphins

  1. Trai Fuller 2. Josh Beehag 3. Kotoni Staggs 4. Tom Opacic 5. Jeremy Hawkins 6. Bryce Donovan 7. Cameron Cullen (c) 8. Nick Slyney 17. Hugh Pratt 10. Sam Anderson 11. Toby Rudolf 12. Aaron Whitchurch 13. Jamil Hopoate 9. Jake Turpin 14. Myles Taueli 15. James Taylor 16. Tom Geraghty

Sunshine Coast Falcons

  1. Ryan Papenhuyzen 2. Matt Soper-Lawler 4. Sandor Earl 3. Khan Ahwang 5. Iliesa Ratuva 21. Caleb Daunt 6. Rhys Jacks 18. Lachlan Timm 17. Christopher Lewis (c) 10. Jacob Hind 12. Thomas Eisenhuth 11. Jye Ballinger 13. Louis Geraghty 15. Connor Donehue 19. Lachlan Roe 20. Harrison Muller 22. Stephen Buckley

 

CQ Capras v PNG Hunters

CQ Capras

  1. Zeik Foster 18. Maipele Morseau 3. Connor Broadhurst 4. Nathan Bassani 5. Chanel Seigafo 6. Blake Goodman 7. Jack Madden (c) 8. Oliver Percy 9. Billy Gilbert 11. Jerry Key 15. Luke George 12. Dave Taylor 13. Jamie Hill 10. Brad Lupi 14. Aaron Teroi 16. Aaron Flanagan 17. Junior Kirisome

PNG Hunters

  1. Edene Gebbie 2. Junior Rau 3. Thompson Teteh 4. Adex Wera 5. Brendon Gotuno 6. Ase Boas (c) 7. Charlie Simon 8. Enock Maki 9. Wartovo Puara 10. Moses Meninga 11. Nixon Putt 12. Rahdly Brawa 13. Stanton Albert 14. Watson Boas 15. Ila Alu 16. Mekenzie Yei 17. Dilbert Issac 18. Butler Morris 19. Silas Gahuna 20. Patrick Morea

 

Norths Devils v Ipswich Jets

Norths Devils

  1. Jack Ahearn 2. Herbie Farnworth 3. Zach Strasser 4. Gehamat Shibasaki 5. Paul Ulberg 6. Todd Murphy 7. Troy Dargan 15. Sam Tagataese 9. Michael Sio 10. Carne Doyle-Manga 8. Jamayne Taunoa-Brown 14. Guy Williams 13. John Palavi (c) 11. Iain Riccardi 12. Ethan Bullemor 16. Riley Leota 19. Jack Miers

Ipswich Jets

  1. Michael Purcell 2. Marmin Barba 3. Richie Pandia 4. Isimeeli Hafoka 5. Wes Conlon 6. Chris Ash 7. Dane Phillips 8. Tyson Lofipo 9. Jayden Connors 10. Nat Neale (c) 17. Billy McConnachie 12. Ben White 13. Ben Shea 11. Rowan Winterfield 14. Sam Caslick 16. Huskie Teutau 19. Mitch Carpenter 15. Seb Pandia

Gurgler Big Ideas – The Great Australian Leadership Spill Annual Gala

By
Gerry Mander
-
0
great australian leadership spill annual gala

Bored of the latest Australian leadership spill drama, where it looks like yet another Prime Minister is about to get the arse?

Tired of going to the polling booth, only for the clowns in Canberra to call another Leadership Spill, letting the politicians not the people decide the PM?

Of course you are.

Will it change?

Probably not.

So what can you do about the worryingly increasing leadership spills?

Well let us unveil the latest Gurgler Big Idea – The Great Australian Leadership Spill Annual Gala.

Think Brownlow Medal meets Canberra, with even more entertainment than usual.

 

HOW DOES THE GREAT AUSTRALIAN LEADERSHIP SPILL WORK?

Laws will be changed to force the current sitting government and Opposition to have a mandatory leadership on a certain day every year, let’s say the Monday after Melbourne Cup every year.

But instead of being played out in a dreary Canberra Office or semi lit corridor, it could be done in the Grand Ballrooms of the Crown or Star City Casino. And televised for all.

Much like the Brownlow Medal night.

All the nominations, politicking, voting and results announcing will be done in one action packed, drama filled, glamorous political entertainment extravaganza.

 

LEADERSHIP SPILL GALA NIGHT STEP 1 – NOMINATIONS

After a stunning red carpet special hosted by Richard Wilkins, Peta Credlin, and Brendan Fevola for added colour, where as many VIPs will be asked what they’re wearing, every federal politician and their partner are to move into the ballroom.

From there MC Laurie Oakes opens the night with his Sportsbet-busting gag of a never-ending tie of different colours (much like the Clown hanky trick) and a tight five minutes of his highlights of the previous 12 months of politics in Canberra.

Then he asks anyone wishing to nominate for any of the positions for the leadership spill (PM/Deputy of either party) to join him on stage.

After all of the tension of the will they or won’t they as the ambitious climb onto the stage, all are then grilled by a team of hard-nosed interviewers – Alan Jones, David Speers, Kerry O’Brien, Andrew Bolt, Lenore Taylor, Brett Finch, and former ALP Powerbroker Graham Richardson.

The questions have now been answered, and the promises made, it is time to work the room.

Of course this would end here if neither party had a leadership spill for either position. But given the recent trend of knives in various backs, it seems an unlikely scenario. And with a further leadership spill banned until this event the next year by law, the time is now.

 

LEADERSHIP SPILL GALA NIGHT STEP 2 – THE NUMBERS

Instead of the deals being done in dark corridors, closed offices, emails, and the occasional fax, this will now take place in full view of the public thanks to the broadcast of the The Great Australian Leadership Spill Annual Gala.

The candidates for the leadership spill and their closest allied now have 20 minutes to work the ball room, and get those numbers.

TV cameras will be given access like never before to add to the drama. Interviews hopefully conducted by the two fine gentlemen of the Betoota Advocate.

Once the 20 minutes is up, it is time for the relevant parties to vote.

 

LEADERSHIP SPILL GALA NIGHT STEP 3 – THE VOTE

Each politician in attendance will be given a secure link via their phone in which to vote for the candidates of the leadership spill, on a 3-2-1 basis, depending on the amount of candidates.

Only those at the event are allowed to vote.

The cameras add to the drama at this stage as the undecided swingers sweat on making the right decisions.

 

LEADERSHIP SPILL GALA NIGHT STEP 4 – ENTERTAINMENT BREAK

While the votes are tallied by people other the PWC clowns who stuffed up the Oscars, it is time to lighten the atmosphere with some entertainment.

First up is the Rubbery Figures making a comeback, taking the piss out of the current batch of decision makers.

Next up is the Wyatt Roy Experience, a mix of hip hop and heavy metal doing ironic covers of 80’s new wave.

Then comes the modern dance interpretation group of the Katter Family Dancers,

Finally a poetry slam featuring Malcolm Roberts, Clive Palmer, Jacqui Lambie and Derryn Hinch. Note: these can easily be replaced by the more eccentric politicians of the day.

 

LEADERSHIP SPILL GALA NIGHT STEP 5 – THE RESULTS

Of course only one man can bring the results, Antony Green.

Much like the Brownlow, each politicians 3-2-1 are read out carefully, and the rolling tally updated.

The drama of the reading out of the results is captured by too many TV cameras, all for the viewers at home.

Like the Brownlow, this will be a long, dragged out affair that takes way too long. Just the way people like it.

 

LEADERSHIP SPILL GALA NIGHT STEP 6 – RESULTS STAND….FOR 12 MONTHS

Then it can happen all over again, the same time next year, or until the next election.

 

1...257258259...401Page 258 of 401