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Champions League Matchday 1 Predictions – Gurgler v Table Position

By
Theydon Bois
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4
champions league round 16 predictions

The Champions League Group Stage begins this week, and like most football we think we know everything and have our Champions League Matchday 1 Predictions ready.

And as ever we put our tips up against a unique opponent, usually based on a football statistic but sometimes not, much like our semi popular Premier League tips.

We’ll also throw in a minimum of information for a quick preview of Champions League Matchday 1 Predictions for those on the go.

Time to set the alarm and get up that little bit early in Australia, or get home early from work/the pub elsewhere for Champions League Matchday 1.

 

Champions League Matchday 1 Predictions

Gurgler v Current Table Position

Opponent Tips Background: Since this is the opening round of Champions League fixtures, and we have no form to go by, we are going to create tips based on each team’s current position in their respective league.

We say that current form is good form, and the better position in the league, the more likely the team is to win. Of course this neglects the massive gap in quality between league, but that’s a mere technicality of someone without imagination. The occasional tie breaker is determined by average points per game. Unless that is equal.

The Gurgler’s selections are based on a mixture of listening to multiple podcasts and reading way too many websites, added with ignorance to all of that with our own thoughts. 

Champions League Matchday 1 Predictions – Our Tips

BARCELONA to beat PSV Eindhoven
SPURS to beat Inter
PSG to beat Liverpool
NAPOLI to beat Crvena Zvezda
GALATASARAY to beat Lokomotiv Moscow
DRAW – Schalke v Porto
CLUB BRUGES to beat Borussia Dortmund
DRAW – Monaco v Atletico Madrid
SHAKHTAR DONETSK to beat Hoffenheim
AJAX to AEK Athens
BAYERN MUNICH to beat Benfica
MANCHESTER CITY to beat Lyon
DRAW – Real Madrid v Roma
CSKA MOSCOW to beat Viktoria Plzen
JUVENTUS to Valencia
MANCHESTER UNITED to beat Young Boys

Champions League Matchday 1 Predictions – Current League Position

Position as of Sunday in brackets.

DRAW – Barcelona (1st) v PSV Eindhoven (1st)  (Both teams Avg pts 3.0)
SPURS (6th) to beat Inter (14th)
PSG (1st) to beat Liverpool (2nd)
CRVENA ZVEZDA (1st) to beat Napoli (2nd)
GALATASARAY (1st) to beat Lokomotiv Moscow (10th)
PORTO (4th) to beat Schalke (17th)
CLUB BRUGES (1st) to beat Borussia Dortmund (2nd)
ATLETICO MADRID (8th) to beat Monaco (15th)
SHAKHTAR DONETSK (1st) to beat Hoffenheim (11th)
AEK ATHENS (2nd) to beat Ajaz (2nd) (AEK win 3.0 v 2.6 on Avg Pts)
BAYERN MUNICH (1st) to beat Benfica (1st) (Bayen win 3.0 v 2.5 on avg pts)
MANCHESTER CITY (3rd) to beat Lyon (7th)
REAL MADRID (2nd) to beat Roma (9th)
VIKTORIA PLZEN (2nd) to beat CSKA Moscow (5th)
JUVENTUS (1st) to beat Valencia (17th)
YOUNG BOYS (1st) to beat Manchester Utd (8th)

 

Champions League Matchday 1 – Three Games to Watch

You can’t watch everything, you can if you have Optus Sport and no job or life, so we select our three games to watch for the matchday ahead.

INTER v SPURS (Tues 2:55am)

The new fan friendly time at five to three in the morning means this is a game to avoid the result and catch up on. With Barcelona in the group it is a game neither will want to lose, and both are coming into the game on the back of league losses. Ivan Perisic the man to watch for Inter, and the usual suspects for SPurs.

LIVERPOOL v PSG (Tues 5:00am)

The biggest Champons League Matchday 1 clash sees the French Champions-elect PSG and Liverpool go head to head. Both teams stacked with great forward lines, and have 100% records in the league. Is this the year that big spending PSG finally crack it in the Champions League on a wave of French football success?

REAL MADRID v ROMA (Wed 5:00am)

Roma offered plenty of entertainment in their Champions League fixtures last season, and three time champions are now Ronaldo-less and Zidane-less, opening up the Champions League to everybody.

 

How to Watch Champions League in Australia

Sadly the Champions League action is now on Optus Sport.

Not that the Optus Sport coverage is that bad, when it works, but it just means another $15 a month to follow decent football.

Perhaps the addition of the Champions League might tempt some to join, it means you can watch everything and EPL.

Click here to Join In or Join Up

We’ll see if it can handle the Liverpool v PSG traffic.

 

Champions League Matchday 1 Predictions – Best Bets Multi

BARCELONA to beat PSV Eindhoven
PSG to beat Liverpool
SHAKHTAR DONETSK to beat Hoffenheim
JUVENTUS to beat Valencia
MANCHESTER UTD to beat Young Boys (Football not assault)

$1 to “win” $18

Sport | Top Five Friday – Great Sporting Tantrums

By
Max Layne
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1
great sporting tantrums

With Serena Williams’ dummy spit at the US Open Final taking over a lot of sporting news headlines over the past week, we think it’s time to salute those who temporarily lost the plot with our Magnificent Seven of Great Sporting Tantrums.

 

THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN OF GREAT SPORTING TANTRUMS

SERENA WILLIAMS

Serena William’s produced one of the great sporting tantrums in the recent US Open final, reducing the poor unfortunate soul who actually won the tournament to a bit players of little consequence.

There will be very few Gland Slam winners who will remembered as little as Naomi Osaka will be.

Most are of the opinion that Serena Williams carried on way too much and that the penalties applied during the match were justified. Either way, it was one of the great sporting tantrums.

 

TENNIS JERKS

Tennis seems to be sport where the dummy spits are at their best, and you could make an argument that Tennis Jerks par excellence Nick Kyrgios and Bernard Tomic have an entire career of great sporting tantrums.

Most of theirs comes in the press conference after yet another tank, but their careers are deserving of a nomination in our top seven.

 

JOHN McENROE

No one does the great sporting tantrums like John McEnroe.

And which one do you pick. Well how about a compilation of some of the best.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdnVibZHzR0

 

NELSON PIQUET

One of Formula One’s best great sporting tantrums.

The back story is the Piquet and Brabham were trying to pioneer a mid race pitstop in 1982, and after a plethora of car and driver problems they were finally on track to reach the much anticipated mid race pitstop.

Then came the about to be lapped Eliseo Salazar…..

Stay tuned past the original fight for footage of a driver wishing to dig to the world’s largest hole to climb into.

 

 

PHIL WELLMAN – US BASEBALL MANAGER

As part of our research we came across this one from the predominantly US focused 25 biggest dummy spits of all time from the Bleacher Report.

Although we are copying their number one, we think you’ll agree it is an “above the top shelf” of great sporting tantrums.

 

ELIO DE ANGELIS

A lesser known F1 one, and one against the usual easy going natureof the Italian driver.

He was black flagged and after arguing with the British GP official he left his car in the middle of pit lane.

 

ERIC CANTONA’s KUNG FU KICK

After being red carded for Manchester United in a game against Crystal Palace, the legendary Frenchman took his temper out on a Crystal Palace fan in one of the most recalled moments of the early years of the Premier League.

 

The Big Sporting Question – Whose Fault is the Poor NRL Crowds

By
Max Layne
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1
poor nrl crowds

Friday night produced some great examples of Footy Finals in the AFL and NRL, but it also highlighted a massive gulf between the two popular codes – the poor NRL crowds.

While the MCG saw over 90,000 people crammed in for the Melbourne – Hawthorn clash, the Sydney Football Stadium had around 20,000, a mere 4.5 times fewer people.

It’s not the first time the NRL have been embarrassed this year, and not the first time that their pathetic crowds have been in the spotlight, but the poor NRL crowd on Friday night produced a moment that had the NRL with their own pants pulled down rather than players of a certain club.

Sure the Saturday night crowd for the Rabbitohs v Dragons game was much better at almost 50,000, but so it bloody well should given the nature of the rivalry and having two sets of great fans. But does anyone think that the AFL equivalent of that fixture wouldn’t have filled the Olympic Stadium. Of course not.

And then the AFL doubled down on the Saturday night with another huge crowd.

So far in six NRL Finals games the total crowd figure is 173,757, mostly on the back of a Brisbane final at Suncorp Stadium and the Rabbitohs-Dragons rivalry. The AFL had 162,656 this weekend alone. And a mere 445,804 in total so far, just 156% more.

But does the NRL truly care? If so, can we let the blame game for poor NRL crowds begin? You bet. Here’s our sh!t list of who you could blame.

 

THE NRL?

We could easily blame the NRL, and we will. Their consistent lack of interest in poor NRL crowds or having zero knowledge in how to fix it should have been a concern a while ago, especially throughout 2018 when NRL crowds at certain grounds were getting outdrawn by Sydney Club rugby and the Toronto Wolfpack in the second tier Championship in England.

Maybe they are more concerned about selling the biggest games of the year to cities with zero rugby league heritage, or rubber stamping each team wearing up to seven jerseys a year, lining up an official tyre supplier for the NRL (like or ensuring referees or the Bunker attempt to ruin as many games as possible.

As long as they’re counting the Pay TV ratings they aren’t as concerned that fewer people are actually turning up. Perhaps that is part of the long term strategy, having no one at all turning up to the games, so then they could be played in giant TV Studios with canned applause and cheering. It would guarantee every Sunday afternoon 4pm game was played in Sydney, instead of the current 95%.

So yes, you could blame the NRL.

 

THE CLUBS

Maybe the clubs don’t do enough to sell themselves and the games. Friday’s night clash offered plenty, two great sides, both from Sydney, both almost equally inconvenienced by the ground. 

You can’t blame the fans who turned up, who were as passionate as one could hope for. Despite the quality of supporter, the quantity sucked, and are the clubs doing enough themselves.

We’re sure either of these games would have been a sellout at their various suburban grounds, and that figure wouldn’t have been much lower than the one at the SFS. And been a better look for the sport and experience for the fans. But since those decisions are out of their hands, we can’t blame the clubs.

 

THE AFL

Perhaps its the AFL’s fault for being so good at what they do, and are consistently better than the NRL at most aspects of the running of their sport. But is it really their fault for running the game professionally and having fans who show up.

 

FOX SPORTS

Perhaps it is Fox Sports’ fault for their outstanding coverage meaning people would rather save their beans and spend them on friends like Bundy Rum and the Tooheys brothers,

Maybe the slide in fans coincides with the Fox League coverage. People were happier to go to a game knowing that the alternative was Gus Gould, Ray Hadley, and the parade of dross that the FTA coverage on Channel Nein serves up. There’s a reason it’s free. 

So we can’t blame Fox Sports, but it might be their fault indirectly.

 

THE STADIUMS

Perhaps it is the Stadiums fault. Most of stadiums used in the finals are soulless pits, and the expense of game day is far beyond in a lot of cases. Although a tweet from the ground on Friday night said tickets were $25, reasonable compared to regular season tickets. Especially when compared to the usual extortion of away fans at the big grounds for the dedicated away section.

Luckily the Sydney Football Stadium is being upgraded and enlarged.

Maybe Sydney FC will fill it.

 

TOO MANY SYDNEY TEAMS?

Are there too many Sydney NRL clubs which causes the poor NRL Crowds?

On one hand yes. The NRL needs to expand, but has made it clear it won’t happen. Merging a few clubs together would in theory create superclubs with double the fans. In that scenario you could argue that the crowd could be significant larger if you have two sets of fans, made from a previous four sets of fans.

In reality it will probably go as bad as the Northern Eagles, and you could get fewer fans at games.

Although, the AFL v NRL argument is invalid if you consider the tight spread of Melbourne clubs geographically. Yet, they are still able to pull the massive crowd at the MCG last night. They also haven’t had to resort to merging Melbourne clubs either.

 

PETER BEATTIE

It’s easy to blame a person who can’t tell a Newcastle from a Barcelona. But the poor NRL crowds is hardly his fault, but will soon be his problem.

 

SYDNEY

For years Sydney has been granted a god given right for all of the biggest sporting events. Bledisloe Cup games, crucial Socceroos games and mostly everything with the title of big Australian sporting event, and ion the whole they turn up to these premium events. Because that is what Sydney is good at, the premium events.

Almost as much as being seen at the event rather than enjoying the event, Sydney pack out the one off big games to match the egos. Yet, when it comes to weekly chore of supporting a team, the masses disappear for the diehards.

An example is one wonders where the remaining 10,000’s of Rabbitohs fans are each week from the 100,000 that marched for their reinstatement.

 

Celebrate National Pirate Appreciation Week

By
Kaaps Loche
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0
national pirate appreciation week

With the official Talk Like a Pirate Day coming up on Wednesday September 19, we think it the perfect time to dedicate a week of honouring the eyepatch with our celebrate National Pirate Appreciation Week.

Pirates are lovable figures, but a day talking like them isn’t quite enough, which is why we’re wheeling out our celebrate National Pirate Appreciation Week.

This week, but especially on Wednesday, we encourage everyone to think about and think like pirates, transforming an otherwise dull working week into arrrrrrrr rrrrrreally great week.

And as ever for any theme week, we will celebrate our favourites of the current theme week by listing our five favourite pirates of all time. None of our will be legendary literary characters, more the more common, modern versions.

 

Celebrate National Pirate Appreciation Week Top 6 Pirates

SMEE

Not sure if technically a pirate, but he is first mate on Captain Hook’s Pirate Ship, so that will do nicely.

Looking like the typical bumbling fool sidekick or a drunken washed up former tax accountant, he is less loved than most of the characters from Peter Pan, which is exactly the reason we love him.

 

CAPTAIN FEATHERSWORD

A kids favourite, and the second most talented Wiggle behind Emma.

Sure he isn’t very fearsome when involved in a song about little ducks, but not all pirate have to be tough. Although he still looks like he’d be able to handle himself if asked to step outside into the local pub carpark.

 

PATCHY THE PIRATE from SPONGEBOB

Provides some late night/very early morning alternative enjoyment on some of the Spongebob Squarepants episodes, with one of the least convincing beards in pirate history.

 

THE PIRATE PARTY

With politics in Australia so unbelievably stuffed and very few decent alternatives around, the Pirate Party is one group of people who should be considered your vote around election time.

Standing almost against politics itself, consider our favourite political party next time you wish to fill in your ballot for the Senate.

Read their full story here.

 

INTERNET PIRATES

Not that we have ever used them, but we do take our hats off to the modern day pirates, stealing Game of Thrones from the rich, and giving it to the poor.

Without them, there wouldn’t be wonderful websites that offer an entire back catalogue of every motor racing event from the past 40 years.

So in this week of Celebrate National Pirate Appreciation Week you should position your Modem towards Silicon Valley or Russia as a mark of respect.

 

DR HOOK & MEDICINE SHOW

Who doesn’t like the 70’s radio song Walk Right In, which has been mercilessly flogged by commercials for decades?

No one is the answer, and so we select Dr Hook and the Medicine Show as our musical Pirate to appreciate.

They even have a band member with an eyepatch. Outstanding.

 

 

 

Best Of Bein Sports EFL and European Weekend Preview #4

By
admin
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0
Bein Sports European Football Highlights

European and Championship football returns this weekend, and so does our Best Of Bein Sports EFL and European Weekend Preview to spread the word about all of the best non EPL football from the Championship, La Liga in Spain, Serie A in Italy, France, Germany and so much more in Australia.

As a first class sports nerd we love Bein Sports Australia football coverage, as it offers up everything that the EPL doesn’t, mainly because none of the EPL clubs play in the leagues broadcast.

Of course we also care about the EPL – why not check out our Premier League Predictions Week 5.

But there’s not just 10 games to care about, there’s 72 teams in the EFL, 20 in France, Italy and Spain, and 18 in Germany. And Bein Sports Australia Football broadcasts as many as is humanly possible to watch.

Too much football is barely enough we like to say. But you can’t watch everything, so we offer up our Best Of Bein Sports EFL and European Weekend Preview, to help you follow the best of it live, and catch up with the other results in the papers.

 

Bein Sports Australia Highlights

SAT 10:00am AEST – BEIN SPORTS 2 – CH514 – Delayed

LIGUE 1 – PSG v ST ETIENNE

It may not be live, but the 10am kick off is the first showing, and a nice timeslot for those who like to sleep in on the weekend. This match features the only two remaining unbeaten side in the French top flight. PSG are no surprise with 4/4 so far, St Etienne are 9th courtesy of a win and three draws. That first L is likely to be coming this weekend.

SAT 8:55PM AEST – BEIN SPORTS 2 – CH514

LA LIGA – ATLETICO v EIBAR

Our favourite small team in Europe, if not the world, Eibar gets a nice early game for those interested on Saturday night. For some unknown reason we have taken Eibar on as our favourite Spanish football team, and they finally got off the mark last round with their first win and points for the season. Atletico will be tough to beat but currently sit just a point above.

SAT 11:20pm AEST – BEIN SPORTS 3 – CH515

BUNDESLIGA – BAYERN v BAYER LEVERKUSEN

A nice nightcap after the Spurs-Liverpool game. We haven’t seen much of the Bundesliga this season yet with their late start and International break, so time to reconnect, and we may as well see the benchmark in action., already seemingly on their way to another title. Leverkusen are 0/2 so far this season.

SUN 0:10am AEST – BEIN SPORTS 1 – CH513

LA LIGA – REAL SOCIEDAD v BARCELONA

An obvious pick to choose a Barcelona game, but it should provide plenty of goals. There have been 10 goals in Real Sociedad’s 3 games this season so far, and Barcelona are coming off an 8-2 win over newly promoted Huesca. And they are Barcelona.

SUN 1:50am AEST – BEIN SPORTS 3 – CH515

SERIE A – NAPOLI v FIORENTINA

Since you’re already up, you may as well keep going with this mouth watering line up from Italy. 3rd v 5th no less. Fiorentia are 2/2 having conceded just once. A win will take them temporarily above Juventus for a day.

SUN 10:50pm AEST – BEIN SPORTS 1 – CH513

SERIE A – JUVENTUS v SASSUOLO

First v second showdown. Juventus at the top shouldn’t be new to anybody, the only surprise being their superstar signing Ronaldo has yet to score. Surely this is the week. Sassuolo meanwhile are sitting second and have beaten Inter already this season.

FULL SCHEDULE OF ALL LIVE BEIN SPORTS FOOTBALL

 

Bein Sports EFL Games They Missed

You can’t show everything, but here are the ones they should have.

CHAMPIONSHIP – MILLWALL v LEEDS
LEAGUE 1 – PETEROROUGH v PORTSMOUTH

Our Best Bets for the Weekend

Best Bein Sports EFL Multi

SHEFFIELD UTD to beat Bristol City
DERBY COUNTY to beat Rotherham Utd
SWANSEA to beat Nottingham Forest
IPSWICH/DRAW v Hull

$1 to “pay” $19

Best Bein Sports European Football Multi

BARCELONA to beat Real Sociedad
REAL MADRID to beat Athletic Bilbao
ROMA to beat Chievo
JUVENTUS to beat Sassuolo
BAYERN to beat Leverkusen
MARSEILLE to beat Guingamp
PSG to beat St Etienne

$1 to “pay” $5

 

Bein Sports Australia Football Highlights Shows

Missed most of the above action or couldn’t be bothered in the first place? 

Follow the below Highlights shows to see the best of each competition, and impress your friends and family, with your newly acquired football knowledge.

FRANCE – 6pm – CH513
SCOTLAND – 6pm – CH514
EFL FOOTBALL LEAGUE – 6:30pm – CH514
GERMANY – 7pm – CH513
SPAIN – 8pm – CH513
ITALY – 9pm – CH513

All shows on Monday, and all repeated later, many times.

Third UEFA Competition Planned – Our Seven Alternative Formats

By
Theydon Bois
-
0
Champions League Matchday 3 Predictions

So news has broken of a third UEFA competition, as if the Champions League and Europa League weren’t enough, they must be getting down to their last half a billion in Nyon. Poor buggers.

They haven’t decided on a format yet, but by the sounds of it, they will reduce the Europa League to match the numbers of the Champions League and go from there.

Bor-ing.

We’re nothing if not helpful here at The Gurgler, so to help UEFA make some more money create a third UEFA Competition, we suggest seven alternative formats for the teams.

 

Alternative Third UEFA Competition #1 – Cup Winners Cup

A blast from the past, and hardly an original idea, until you add a bit of twist.

Not only will you include the winners of the various cup competitions from all over Europe like the FA Cup, Copa del Rey, but also all of the more useless and less loved competitions like the Carabao Cup and France’s Coupe de la Ligue.

And if the team that wins the cup is already in one of the other European competitions, then you keep going backwards through results until you get a team to participate.

Of course if it goes down to the same level (e.g. Semi Final) then goal difference, goals scored comes into play. Making every game matter in each competition, just in case you can go to Europe on the back of a quarter final appearance.

 

Alternative Third UEFA Competition #2 – The Non Big 5 Cup

Perhaps the third UEFA competition doesn’t have to be about money and supporting the biggest leagues in Europe after all.

How about a competition of true minnows or at the very least, some different sides.

You could do this by opening up the third UEFA competition to only teams outside of England, France, Germany, Spain and Italy.

Decide on the numbers of teams, and format at a later date. All you need now is to commit to the little guy. Make it a truly unique Uefa experience. That’s if they are about growing the game as much as their bank balance.

Bundle all of this competition into the Champions League by giving the winner of this competition an automatic path into the Champions League Group stage. This would make the competition worth winning for the smaller teams in so many ways.

 

Alternative Third UEFA Competition #3 – The UE-FA Cup

The FA Cup remains one of the great sporting competitions in the world, perhaps UEFA can borrow some of the “Magic of the Cup” and replicate that for their third UEFA competition.

Like the FA Cup is would be open to anyone who wishes to apply. No qualification based on finishing position or winning another league or cup, just any team who want to play.

It could be an ambitious Sunday League, or a midfield team from Hungary, or a lower midfield team like West Ham. Anyone is allowed to apply.

It would mean the whole format is knockout, with replays of course.

The format will be decided once all the nominations have been receiving.

From there it should be a wonderful journey through all the levels of football, culminating in the big European finals night.

 

Alternative Third UEFA Competition #4 – The Second Flight Cup

There’s so many quality football team all over Europe that are languishing in the second tier and below around the continent, so why not a third UEFA competition just for them.

Rather than having all the big names of European football, you could see some of the best lower division footballers and teams get a crack.

In reality, there’s not much difference usually between the second half of the top flight and the various second divisions.

Like with the Recently Relegated Cup, why not allow the winner of this third UEFA competition automatic entry into the top flight the next season. Explained further below. There’s a big prize worth winning.

 

Alternative Third UEFA Competition #5 – The Mediocrity Cup

This is essentially what the third UEFA competition will become if you simply pick the next band of teams from the leagues around Europe.

That’s not to say that the teams don’t deserve it, or that it wouldn’t be great. But you are basically getting more of the same as the two upper comps with slightly more inferior teams.

In saying all of that, as an Ipswich Town supporter I would love for my team to be involved. And there’s barely anyone in sport more mediocre than Ipswich Town.

 

Alternative Third UEFA Competition #6 – The Recently Relegated Cup

Relegation is tough on teams, especially in England if they are run as badly as Sunderland were. So what better way to give the relegated teams a helping hand (aside from a giant parachute of money in some cases) than their own third UEFA competition.

All teams relegated from every league in Europe would qualify, participation is optional, but who wouldn’t want to be a part of history. And there’s a large carrot dangled for those who bother.

For the winner of this third UEFA competition will be granted automatic readmission into the league they were relegated from.

If the team in question is already doing it, then it doesn’t apply and good luck to them. However the fun lies in if the team that wins the third UEFA competition is not in the hunt for promotion. This means with the automatic promotion assurance from UEFA, that an additional team will be relegated from the top flight.

Imagine a team thinking they’re safe in fourth last, only for a relegated team from the year before taking their place after winning in Europe.

 

Alternative Third UEFA Competition #7 – The Find a Way for Mourino to win a Cup Cup

By the end of the 2018-19 season, if Jose Mourinho is still in charge of Manchester United and trophy-less perhaps the UEFA third competition could be tailor-made for Mourinho to win something.

For which ever club he is in charge of.

The Ultimate Sloth Weekend Sports TV Guide Australia – Sept 14-16

By
Max Layne
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0

The weekend is almost here, and so is our now regular Ultimate Sloth Weekend Sports TV Guide Australia to ensure that you can soak up as much sport as possible, where too much is barely enough as Roy and HG would say. 

With so much sport, and so many other jobs and people needing your attention on the weekend it is important to balance that out, to give you as much sloth time as possible.

Which is why we offer up the Ultimate Sloth Weekend TV Sports Guide for Australia, a suggestion of the best of the Australian TV Sport this weekend.

You will of course need a subscription sports package, but any mad Australian sports fan couldn’t survive on a diet of Gus Gould, Stats McAvaney and the poor excuse Channel Ten have for their F1 coverage these days.

 

Ultimate Sloth Weekend Sports TV Guide Australia Highlights

Here’s a quick overview of what’s ahead, with the full Ultimate Sloth Weekend TV Sports Guide for Australia  with times and channels following.

RUGBY LEAGUE

The first week of the NRL finals is over, and now it is time for pure knockout football. Apparently the Dragons are playing the Rabbitohs, unknown to the NRL, and it’s Moylan v Maloney and Gallen/Fifita v everyone in the other game.

Plus there’s Intrust Super competitions second last week of finals in Qld and NSW, Women’s NRL, and the UK Super League’s drawn out system continues to… draw out.

Enough rugby league alone to sloth about for.

Here is some NRL Finals we highly recommend/still trying to flog off.

Nein Ways to Pick An NRL Finals Winner
Quiz for Neutrals to Select Your Finals Team – NRL

 

AFL

Having less competition for attention last weekend meant that we got to see more AFL than usual, and it was a welcome return.

The AFL are also into their second week of finals, and also in knockout mode.

As above, here is some AFL Final gear.

Nein Ways to Pick An ARL Finals Winner
Quiz for Neutrals to Select Your Finals Team – AFL

 

MOTOR RACING

One of Formula One’s most interesting tracks and longest races is on this weekend in Singapore. Thankfully this is a night race, as it would probably be as boring as batshit during the day. Except for the occasional potential torrential downpour. We got a wet track last season, and a massive first corner prang that ruined Sebastian Vettel’s title tilt. Hoping for another serve is another great reason to tune in.

The Sandown 500 is also on for pure Sunday afternoon sloth.

 

FOOTBALL

The International break is over, and all the big leagues return. Spurs and Liverpool is the SBS tight-arse game. Which is great.

Our other pick is an earlyish Sunday night game involving Juventus. Maybe this will be the game the big name of Ronaldo finally scores.

 

Ultimate Sloth Weekend Sports TV Guide Australia- September 14 – September 16

Here is the best of what’s on offer according to us. OF course there’s more, but you only have two eyes and 24 hours in a day. Unless you have more of either, in which case we salute you.

Day Time Sport Channel TV Description
Friday 17:00 NRLW FoxLeague 502 Roosters v Broncos
Friday 19:50 AFL FoxFooty 504 Melbourne v Hawthorn
Friday 20:00 NRL FoxLeague 502 Sharks v Panthers
Saturday 13:00 Rugby League Ch9 Qld 9NOW ISC – Burleigh v Easts
Saturday 17:00 NRLW FoxLeague 502 Dragons v Warriors
Saturday 19:50 AFL FoxFooty 504 Collingwood v GWS
Saturday 20:00 NRL FoxLeague 502 Rabbitohs v Dragons
Saturday 21:00 Football SBS SBS Spurs v Liverpool
Saturday 23:00 F1 FoxSports6 506 Singapore GP Qual
Sunday 0:00 SuperLeague FoxLeague 502 Super League Double Header feat. Toronto v Toulouse @ 215am
Sunday 13:20 V8 FoxSports6 506 Sandown 500 Race
Sunday 17:00 Rugby League FoxLeague 502 ISP – Dragons v Bulldogs
Sunday 22:05 F1 FoxSports6 506 Singapore GP Race
Sunday 22:50 Football BeinSports 1 513 Juventus v Sassuolo

 

 

Ultimate Sloth Weekend Sports TV Guide Australia
DRINK OF THE WEEK

It’s hard to imagine a weekend of sport on the lounge without a refreshing beverage, and each week we’ll recommend one for you as an accompaniment to all that sport.

THIS MONTH – SP LAGER

Nothing says refreshment like PNG’s finest beer, and since they bombed out of the finals contnetion on the last day of the Intrust Super Cup season, this will be PNG’s only contribution in September.

Available at Dan Murphy’s.

 

Ultimate Sloth Weekend Sports TV Guide Australia
SNACK OF THE WEEK

It’s equally hard to imagine a weekend of sport on the lounge with a refreshing beverage without something to snack on. So as above we’ll offer up our Snack of the Week for late night heartburn.

ROLLUPS

Who doesn’t like a late night snack, that is a small step above eating Glad Wrap.

 

Ultimate Sloth Weekend Sports TV Guide Australia
OBSCURE SPORTING SHIRT OF THE WEEK

To get into the mood for a good weekend of slothing and sport, it’s always good to wear a sporting shirt of some sort to attempt to justify to yourself and others about all the slothing ahead. And of course, the more obscure the shirt, the more respect you’ll get. 

THIS WEEK – 2006-07 RUSHDEN & DIAMONDS AWAY SHIRT

Want to own a shirt for a team that no longer exists? Well now you can. Nothing says obscure like a team shirt for a team that doesn’t play anymore.

It’s affordable via the Classic Football Shirts Website.

Premier League Predictions Week 5 – Gurgler v International Break

By
Theydon Bois
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14
premier league predictions week 5

The first International break of the season has been completed, and in honour of the most interesting International break in a while, we have our Premier League Predictions Week 5 ready.

Each week (and the occasional midweek) we will bring our unique look at the EPL, starting with this week’s Premier League Predictions Week 5 and then all the other things we are looking forward to.

But anyone can offer up predictions. Each week we will put our Premier League predictions up against a guest tipster, but not necessarily a person, but based on a statistic or ridiculous idea which has varying links to football.

It’s like BBC’s Lawro vs Somebody, but better. Arguably. And we’re slightly less grumpy than Lawro. Sometimes. And our tips are available for everyone to enjoy, not just those in the UK who know who the usual array of comedians and musicians are.

Like this week,for our Premier League Predictions Week 5 we put our selections up against tips based on each EPL sides’ results in the week immediately after each International break for the past five seasons.

We’ll also offer up a few other bits and pieces for the huge weekend of the Premier League.

 

FOR THE 2019-20 EPL PREVIEW + TIPS FOR WEEK 5  CLICK HERE

 

Premier League Predictions Week 5 Gurgler v Post International Break Form from past Five Seasons

Opponent Tips Background: Since the Premier League is returning from the first International Break we thought it would be mildly interesting to see how the various EPL sides perform after the very first game after. 

So we have found every result for the weekend after each international break from the past 5 seasons, obtained an average points score (based on 3-1-0), and ranked them. Of course the team with more average points gets the tip.

The Gurgler’s selections are based on a mixture of listening to multiple podcasts and reading way too many websites, added with ignorance to all of that with our own thoughts. We’re going all right so far at 65% for the season.

Keep reading on for our Mini Preview of the weekend ahead too.

Premier League Predictions Week 5 – Our Tips

LIVERPOOL to beat Spurs (3-1)
MANCHESTER CITY to beat Fulham (2-1)
DRAW – Huddersfield v Crystal Palace (0-0)
DRAW – Newcastle v Arsenal (1-1)
CHELSEA to beat Cardiff (4-0)
DRAW – Bournemouth v Leicester (2-2)
WATFORD to beat Manchester United (2-1)
WOLVES to beat Burnley (3-0)
DRAW – Everton v West Ham (1-1)
DRAW – Southampton v Brighton (0-0)

Premier League Predictions Week 5 – EPL Sides After International Break

Average points for games after the International break in brackets.

SPURS (1.4) to beat Liverpool (0.8)
MAN CITY (1.8) to beat Fulham (1.1)
CRYSTAL PALACE (0.9) to beat Huddersfield (0.4)
ARSENAL (1.8) to beat Newcastle (1.7)
CHELSEA (1.8) to beat Cardiff (1.2)
DRAW – Bournemouth (1.1) v Leicester (1.1)
MAN UTD (1.6) to beat Watford (1.4)
DRAW – Wolves (1.1)  v Burnley (1.1) 
EVERTON (1.4) to beat West Ham (0.7)
BRIGHTON (0.8) to beat Southampton (0.7)

WANT SOME MORE STATS ON PREMIER LEAGUE CLUB’s STATS AFTER THE INTERNATIONAL BREAK? KEEP READING UNTIL THE END.

 

Premier League Week 5 Quick Mini Preview

MATCH  BY MATCH IN 25 WORDS OR LESS

SPURS v LIVERPOOL

The likely challengers to Man City dominance by end of the season, has very different off seasons. Compare Salah v Kane in International break for clue to Saturday’s game.

MANCHESTER CITY v FULHAM

On paper  another win chalked up for City, however Fulham showing some good signs, and Man City yet to beat a promoted club this year (long bow). Where’s Sessegnon though?

HUDDERSFIELD v CRYSTAL PALACE

With Zaha this game looks interesting, without him it looks 0-0. Unless Benteke can burst into life like he does twice a season.

BOURNEMOUTH v LEICESTER

Pick of the 3pm kick offs, and for once there’s a few to choose from. Both team playing for that sweet, sweet upper midfield but not quite in Europe finishing position.

CHELSEA v CARDIFF

It looks like a Chelsea rout is on the horizon. For all Cardiff’s defensive ability, they conceded three against Arsenal. Hard to argue against Chelsea at home having more threat than the Gunners away.

NEWCASTLE v ARSENAL

Newcastle have had a start to the season that included games v Spurs, Chelsea and Manchester City. Now Arsenal? Tough early run, but Newcastle haven’t been disgraced at all. And with the usual battling squad. Arsenal remain Arsenal. Lascelles to put on a masterclass that will get him to Arsenal when Benitez quits.

WATFORD v MANCHESTER UNITED

Surprise packets v biggest non surprise. Watford continue to amaze with their early season start. No surprise the Mourinho in his this year is moanign and not winning. The hair cut and sacking will follow soon.

WOLVES v BURNLEY

Are we finally seeing why so many said Wolves would have finished in the top half last season? Two great results in a row, and now they take on a Burnley side struggling for points in second half. Thanks Europa League.

EVERTON v WEST HAM

Everton are the current draw specialists, but are unbeaten. Talking of beatings, West Ham are dead last with 0 wins.

SOUTHAMPTON v BRIGHTON

Two sides destined for lower midfield clash in a game that will probably be more interesting when the return leg is played in late March.

 

THE AUSTRALIAN TV FTA GAME

No Optus? Don’t blame you, it’s no longer free. But if you’re a tightarse like us, here is the TV game for the week.

SATURDAY 9pm – SPURS v LIVERPOOL

 

THE 0-0 SPECIAL

Take your pick – Huddersfield v Crystal Palace OR Southampton v Brighton

Season Progress – 2 correct from 4 weeks. Got the draw just not the nils last week.

 

EPL BETTING – SUPER PREMIER LEAGUE WEEK 5 MULTI 

Time to make some money – here’s our best five tips rolled into one money making machine.

LIVERPOOL to beat Spurs
DRAW – Huddersfield v Crystal Palace (0-0)
DRAW – Newcastle v Arsenal (1-1)
CHELSEA to beat Cardiff (4-0)
WOLVES to beat Burnley (3-0)

$1 Multi pay $48

 

FANTASY FOOTBALL THOUGHTS

We weren’t very good last season, but that won’t stop us providing a few Fantasy Football EPL tips.

  • Don’t do transfers before the International break…next time. Bloody injuries.
  • Mitrovic double for Serbia sees him continue as a great cheap inclusion.
  • Is it worth persisting with Zaha?
  • I have Mendy on my Mind.
  • Will Fabinho ever play?
  • With Spurs and Liverpool playing each other, is it time for a little Hazard as captain. Chelsea v Cardiff.

OUR SIDE FOR MONEY WHERE MOUTH IS

Here’s our side for this season.

 

2018-2019 Premier League Tipping Competition Results

THE GURGLER

2018-2019 Results – 26/40 – 65% – (3 Correct Scores)

Last Week – 7/10 – (0 Correct Scores)

Best – 7/10 Week 1, 3, 4

 

OPPOSITION

2018-2019 Results – 22/40 – 55%

Week 1 – 6/10 – Week 1 Form from last 5 seasons
Week 2 – 5/10 – Change in Market Value after Transfer Window
Week 3 – 4/10 – Red Cards from last 5 seasons
Week 4 – 7/10 – Form v Post Sir Alex Man Utd

 

FOR INTEREST….

Premier League Predictions Week 5 – Full Stats for teams after the International break from last 5 seasons

Team Average of Pts Sum of GD
Manchester City 1.8 33
Chelsea 1.8 21
Arsenal 1.8 26
Newcastle United 1.7 3
Manchester United 1.6 20
Everton 1.4 4
Tottenham 1.4 11
Watford 1.4 2
Cardiff 1.2 -5
Wolves 1.1 4
Burnley 1.1 0
Leicester 1.1 2
Bournemouth 1.1 -3
Fulham 1.1 -2
Crystal Palace 0.9 -7
Liverpool 0.8 0
Brighton 0.8 -1
West Ham 0.7 -4
Southampton 0.7 0
Huddersfield 0.4 -18

The Wash Up – Five Points of Interest from the Sporting Weekend

By
Max Layne
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0
gurgler sporting wash up

A big weekend of Footy Finals and, well, Footy Finals has been completed, and what better time to reintroduce our Wash Up of the Sporting Weekend.

Like most things we do here at The Gurgler, a weekly sporting round-up seemed like a good idea back a few years ago, but we ran out of interest as the points of interest dried up. 

Not that we will run out of interest with what was on offer this weekend. Plenty to like and plenty to talk about.

Happily for everyone involved we will limit it to five of the best.

 

RABBITOHS FOR THE FLAG

Despite losing by one point to Melbourne Storm on Friday night and heading into knockout against the Dragons/Broncos (depending on the NRL) we are still 100% behind the Rabbitohs for 2018 Premiers.

They didn’t play overly well really, and still got close, which was encouraging despite the loss.

Sam Burgess dropped the ball at crucial times, there was a Burgess sin binning and they were slightly less effective than usual, they had to deal with the usual wrestling rubbish from the Storm including getting Inglis early, the Reynolds predictable bomb on the last seemed to be the only fifth tackle option for most of the game, they never win in Melbourne, but still they got within one point. And could have won.

Souths were untouchable for small bursts during the regular season, and we didn’t really see one of those on Friday night, but we will. And when/if they do they will blow teams away.

And if they win their knockout games and make the Grand Final against potentially the Melbourne Storm, it will not be in Melbourne but ANZ Stadium. A ground where the Storm lost their only game.

 

DEES FOR THE FLAG

The last two years have seen drought breaking, feel good stories for the AFL Premiership flag.

So based on that, and a dangerously low amount of AFL knowledge from the season, we said the Melbourne Demons would win the flag this season.

After their good win against Geelong on Friday night our thoughts remains unchanged.

Sure Hawthorn will prove a tougher test, but so will the Demons as they charge to the big Grand Final day.

Yes it seems unlikely that anyone will beat Richmond, but we still say Dees.

It has nothing to do with the 50-1 Souths-Melbourne multi we placed before the finals series started.

 

GREAT GRUMPY MANAGERS/HEAD COACHES ARE GREAT UNTIL THEY LOSE

Few can deny that Wayne Bennett is one rugby league’s best coaches, and the same amount can also confirm that he comes across as quite grumpy.

We’re aware that if you know him he’s probably great, like the day we chatted about Willie Minoga at Davies Park, but the way he has come across in the last six months has been hard to watch, and probably harder for the club and journalists. But it does create news, so the latter are happy.

Much like with Jose Mourinho.

These winning managers are good whilst the wins continues, but once the winning stops, the scrutiny increases. As does the grumpiness.

Wayne Bennett seems to have beefs with lots of people and a lot things right now. Media, CEO’s, Board, Use of Social Media.

Much like Mourinho.

Unlike Jose though, Wayne Bennett treats his players a lot better, and seems to fall out very rarely with players, unlike the media and potential successors. And it seems to be the players are key to saving his job now.

As it stands it looks like he may well get the boot before his contract ends in 2019.

But as ever the cheaper option is get rid of the coach when on the end of disappointing losses. And you could see the Broncos board spicing up the off-season by moving Wayne Bennett on before they kick off in 2019.

Whether they’ll win without him remains to be seen. But it may be a slightly happier place for some.

 

NRLW IS A GOOD WATCH

We tuned into both of the NRLW games over the weekend, and enjoyed them quite a bit. 

As per usual the NRL are following the AFL on another initiative, but after watching the games we would argue that the NRLW is a better view than the AFLW. So perhaps worth the wait.

Some of the hits made you wince at home for the players involved, and the level of skill on display was great.

A good start that it is run through the finals series with 4 teams, and hopefully expanded next year to start during Origin period where the competition could use a little boost of NRLW and a Pacific Nations Round Robin.

We’ll be tuning in again this weekend. Not just because it is a trendy thing to do, or feel you have to, just because it’s more rugby league and fun to watch. Just a pity there was no Rabbitohs side to support. Maybe next year.

 

NATIONS LEAGUE FOOTBALL MAKES THE INTERNATIONAL BREAK ALMOST BEARABLE

International breaks in Football are usually a pain in the arse. Stopping our favourite competitions for two weeks to plays either meaningless friendlies or lop sided qualifying games of a drawn out qualifying process.

The Nations League is a more organised set of glorified friendlies, but they actually contribute towards the next Euro tournament.

More importantly, it has the UEFA nations grouped in a Pool of three according to their strength. Pool A being the best, down to the Gibraltars in Pool D. What that means is more evenly friendlies between big teams, and allowing the minnows to play teams that won’t put double figures goals on them.

So for all of the France v Germany and England v Spain games, there are Andorra v Kazakhstan and San Marino v Luxembourg.

Even though we’d love the International break to bugger off, it’s here to stay, so at least it’s been made interesting.

 

FINALLY…..

Be warned about following our NRL Tips, a solid 3/4 in the AFL was not matched in the NRL with a dreadful 0/4.

BEST OF THE WEEK

Either Richmond or the Dragons super wins, book-ending the first weekend of finals.

WORST OF THE WEEK

Broncos. If you can get up for a final at home, in front of 47,000, in a last home game for a great servant, against a side struggling, then there’s something wrong.

JERK OF THE WEEKEND

Romano Fenati – the Moto 2 rider who grabbed his opponent’s brakes 200+ kph mid tussle. He’s been banned for 2 races and sacked by his team, so others agree.

ASK MC SPORTS | Mad Monday, John Millman, and Burning Jerseys

By
Kaaps Loche
-
0
state of origin stats

Our former regular question and answer service returns with MC Sports answering your burning sporting questions, this week about the Bulldogs Mad Monday effort, John Millman and burning jerseys.

Each week we open our mailbag to our readers who message us or get us on social media wanting our opinion on the hot topics of sport.

You can also contact us at contact@thegurgler.com if you have an equally pressing sporting concern.

MC Sports has three of the best to get through this weekend, starting off with Mad Monday.

But get in touch with us soon via email, or our Facebook / Twitter if you more grat sporting questions you want MC Sport’s opinion on.

 

Should Mad Monday be Banned?

Concerned, Harbour View Hotel Patron

By now most of Australia has caught up with the Bulldogs effort on Mad Monday, and no doubt the tsk-tsking started quickly thereafter. 

Sure, none of it was a good look, unless you do enjoy the bare bum of a NRL star, or 4KQ on the dial, but there wasn’t too many stories form the seven other clubs who we can also imagine were on their annual play up day. Perhaps they played golf instead.

Typical of rugby league to continually go out of its way to show itself in a bad light.

Then for the NRL to fine them $250,000, seems the NRL is very good at handing down punishments when it is easy to punish and with the mainstream media running full pace with the evils of rugby league.

It was even reported that the incident embarassed Peter Beattie. A job he did magnificently himself with a short term Sharks memory loss, and failure to distinguish between one of the world’s biggest sporting clubs and Newcastle.

So you can imagine we are not on the side of banning Mad Monday, however we do have an alternative where everyone wins. 

Instead of rugby league players harassing general members of the public on the busy Monday drinking day at local pubs, perhaps the Leagues Club or local pubs could hire out one of their rooms for the privacy of the players, keeping them out of the eye of the press.

But the room would not be just full of footballers, the room would be open to fans and well wishers not part of the press for $200 a head to join in on the fun. The $200 per head fan price will go towards subsidising the players drinks and taxi home. $50 off for nuding up. People paying the privilege would be like minded people, just wanting to have a good time, with the players they love.

Why not turn the annual piss up into an entertainment extravaganza. 

The players could put on nude sing-alongs, a little puppetry of the penis work, or re-enact the 10 biggest plays from the season for a show that everyone will remember.

Despite all the nude talk, it is healthier to start off the day with a dress up theme, prizes could go to player and guest.

Mobiles would need to be checked in at the door to ensure maximum privacy, but we can think of no better way to allow the players to let down their hair, connect with fans, support local business, and piss the mainstream press off all at the same time.

It would be glorious.

 

Is John Millman the Saviour of Tennis in Australia?

Concerned, aka B.Tomic, Gold Coast.

Not yet, but after his great upset win over the Fed Express, he is the first person to warm the hearts of Australian Tennis fans in a long time.

His win was a breath of fresh air away from the kindergarten antics of the Tennis Jerks.

By all accounts he is very popular on tour, a far cry from the two male equivalents, and we hope another giant killing is around the corner in one of next year’s Grand Slams.

Calling it the greatest upset in the history of Australian sport by a few people in newspapers and radio, was a little extreme, Millman is ranked 55th and Roger Federer is closer to the end of his career than beginning.

Fantastic yes, and we certainly applaud, but greatest ever upset, not quite. It’s not the player’s fault mind you, more the press and their search to make everything the best everything in history, like calling former NSW Cricketer Gavin Robertson a test great.

But for now soak up all of the deserve hype on John Millman. And enjoy a feel good tennis story. He may not be the saviour of Australian Tennis right now, but it may inspire others to attempt to win, and be a nice, down to earth guy.

That’d be nice.

 

Do you agree with Dragons fans burning their jerseys?

Disgruntled Fan, Woy Woy.

Every fan has a right to be pissed when their team is not going very well, and with social media you don’t have to wait long to voice your opinion to thousands and/or millions.

And after the Dragons shameful loss a few weeks ago, fans certainly had a right to be angry about how badly their team had slipped.

However the video of a fan burning his journey seems to be going a step too far.

Seriously, it’s a game, and your team were still in the finals.

Grow up.

For example, try and support a team like Rochdale in the third division of English football. From the mid 70’s they then spent 30 odd years in the fourth division, and have gone between the third and fourth tier since. 

Imagine that the only success your team will probably get is a promotion to the third division, or a decent upset in the FA Cup or League Cup once in a decade.

There’s plenty more teams in lower leagues and top flight leagues across the world with similar stories.

One of the only great things about the NRL is the ability of any team to make the finals, so a failure this season doesn’t exclude success for the next season.

If the Dragons lose this weekend, which looks highly likely at Suncorp Stadium under any referee with the surname of Sutton, then fans have the right to be very annoyed, but there’s always next year, and plenty of matches.

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