Champions League Matchday 2 Predictions – Gurgler v Championships Won

By

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October 2, 2018

The Champions League Group Stage begins this week, and like most football we think we know everything and have our Champions League Matchday 2 Predictions ready.

And as ever we put our tips up against a unique opponent, usually based on a football statistic but sometimes not, much like our semi popular Premier League tips.

We’ll also throw in a minimum of information for a quick preview of Champions League Matchday 2 Predictions for those on the go.

Time to set the alarm and get up that little bit early in Australia, or get home early from work/the pub elsewhere for Champions League Matchday 2 .

Champions League Matchday 2 Predictions

Gurgler v National Championships Won

Opponent Tips Background: We used current league position for Matchday 2, so for something different this time we are using the historical performance of each club in their national league. That is, how many Championships have these Champions League teams won in their own country.

To save time and effort, we’ve limited it to only the League, and only the first division or equivalent fancy name for it.

Whichever team has won more, gets the selection. Some may surprise, and it is likely to be a stat that is very poor at deciding winners.

The Gurgler’s selections are based on a mixture of listening to multiple podcasts and reading way too many websites, added with ignorance to all of that with our own thoughts.

Champions League Matchday 2 Predictions – Our Tips

MAN CITY to beat Hoffenheim
JUVENTUS to beat Young Boys
MAN UTD to beat Valencia
DRAW – AEK Athens v Benfica
BAYERN to beat Ajax
REAL MADRID to beat CSKA Moscow
AS ROMA to beat Viktoria Plzen
DRAW – Lyon v Shakhtar Donetsk
DRAW – Schalke v Lokomotiv Moscow
PSG to beat Red Star Belgrade
PORTO to beat Galatasaray
ATLETICO MADRID to beat Club Brugge
DORTMUND to beat Monaco
BARCELONA to beat Spurs
INTER to beat PSV
LIVERPOOL to beat Napoli

Champions League Matchday 2 Predictions – National League Titles

Number of First Division Titles in brackets.

MAN CITY (5) to beat Hoffenheim (0)
JUVENTUS (34) to beat Young Boys (12)
MAN UTD (20) to beat Valencia (6)
BENFICA (36) to beat AEK Athens (12)
AJAX (33) to beat Bayern (28)
REAL MADRID (33) to beat CSKA Moscow (13)
VIKTORIA PLZEN (5) to beat AS Roma (3)
SHAKHTAR DONETSK (11) to beat Lyon (5)
SCHALKE (7) to beat Lokomotiv Moscow (3)
RED STAR BELGRADE (19) to beat PSG (7)
PORTO (28) to beat Galatasaray (21)
CLUB BRUGGE (15) to beat Atletico Madrid (10)
DRAW – Dortmund (8) v Monaco (8)
BARCELONA (25) to beat Spurs (2)
PSV (24) to beat Inter (18)
LIVERPOOL (18) to beat Napoli (2)

Champions League Predictions Form So Far

GURGLER
Matchday 1 – 6/16 – Terrible

OPPONENT
Matchday 1 – 6/16 – Current League Position

Champions League Matchday 2 – Four Games to Watch

You can’t watch everything, well actually you can if you have Optus Sport and no job or life, so we select our four games to watch for the Champions League Matchday 2 ahead.

Times in AEST for the poor souls who have to get up early.

MANCHESTER UNITED v VALENCIA (Wed 5:00am)

After consecutive losses to Derby County (aka Frank Lampard’s Derby Coutny) and West Ham it is time for another crisis at Manchester United revolving around Jose Mourinho. They will no doubt turn everything around against Valencia who are 11th in La Liga with 5 draws from 7 games.

LYON v SHAKHTAR DONETSK (Wed 5:00am)

The hipsters choice after Lyon’s upset win at Manchester City in Matchday 1, and the other game in the group featuring Shakhtar produced a goal heavy 2-2 draw.

SPURS v BARCELONA (Thu 5:00am)

Barcelona are proving to be beatable in La Liga, and have just 2 draws in three games. Can they find form against Spurs, who are finding form themselves. another loss to Spurs will make qualifying for the knockout stage difficult.

NAPOLI v LIVERPOOL (Thu 5:00am)

The big game of the Thursday and should be plenty entertaining. Liverpool ended up second best in the Champions League last season, and they take on Napoli who have been second best in Serie A this year.

How to Watch Champions League in Australia

Sadly the Champions League action is now on Optus Sport.

Not that the Optus Sport coverage is that bad, when it works, but it just means another $15 a month to follow decent football.

Perhaps the addition of the Champions League might tempt some to join, it means you can watch everything and EPL.

Click here to Join In or Join Up

John Millman and Stubby Coolers win September 2018 Hero of the Month

By

Kaaps Loche

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October 1, 2018

1

Votes have been counted and John Millman with his US Open heroics and the all year round company of Stubby Coolers have won our Hero of the Month for September 2018.

John Millman, a lesser known Australian tennis player mainly because he behaves himself, made Australian tennis fan rejoice as he beat Roger Federer on his way through to the US Open quarter finals.

The other Hero of the Month – Stubby Coolers – hasn’t necessarily done anything outstanding, but it ceetainly provides all round heroics. Keeping your hand warm and beer cold. And haven’t Stubby Coolers got unsung for way too long. Now they ger the recognition they deserve with a Hero of the Month for September.

The whole story including voting and why they were nominated is below.

September 2018 Hero of the Month Nominations – Winners

John Millman

Why they were nominated?

Everyone likes an underdog, and it doesn’t get much bigger than beating Roger Federer.

Australian Tennis, and sports in general needed a feelgood story, a change from the usual offerings of Jerk served up from Tomic and Kyrgios.

Hero Factor – 7.6/10

Stubby Coolers

Why they were nominated?

We love an unsung hero, and with summer approaching the Stubby Cooler will be as impirtant as ever in the never ending quest to stay cool.

Stops freezing of hand and warming of beer, it is something that can’t be done without this summer, or any summer.

Interesting too is the background story to most Stubby Coolers. One perhaps that demands its own website. Or not.

Our Heroes of the month don’t necessarily need to be human based.

How the Voting went.

Here’s how you, the many, voted for this month’s Hero of the Month.

[socialpoll id=”2520911″]

September 2018 Hero of the Month Nominations – Others

Naomi Osaka (US Open Winner)

Why they were nominated?

Strangely another tennis one.

You may remember Naomi Osaka, the poor unfortunate soul down the other end of Serena Williams in the US Open final. Handled the situation with a lot more class than her opponent.

She’ll probably be one of the more forgotten grand slam winners, so a lowly September 2018 Hero of the Month nomination is the least we can do.

Hero Factor – 6.4/10

Melbourne Demons

Why they were nominated?

The nice story of the Footy Finals in either code.

Pity it ended in a pants down spanking in Perth, but a great ride for the neutral while it lasted.

Hero Factor – 5/10

Geelong for Wacky Wednesday

Why they were nominated?

After the NRL media crucified the Bulldogs, the Geelong AFL team showed up in a range of costumes a few weeks later for their EOY piss-up. The Bulldogs jersey and underpants the funniest.

Not really heroes, but funny. And Geelong are always quality when it comes to end of season dressing up drinking session.

Hero Factor – 4/10

Cleveland Browns

Why they were nominated?

Won for their first game in 635 days, and we do love an underdog here at The Gurgler. Even if it is the NFL. The sporting hipsters choice.

Hero Factor – 3/10

Toronto Wolfpack

Why they were nominated?

Canada’s first professional rugby league team are making a good fist of the UK Super League Super 8 Qualifiers. They currently lie third in the complicated structure to get into the top flight UK Super League, and look every chance of making it just two years after playing their first game in the third division in 2017.

Features a few names you know – Ashton Sims, Jsoh McCrone, Reni Maitua and Chase Stanley. And plenty more you don’t if you are completely oblivious to UK rugby league.

Hero Factor – 6/10

September 2018 Hero of the Month Honour Roll

Here are the monthly winners of the Hero of the Month so far.

February 2018 Hero – Adebayo Akinfenwa aka The Beast

March 2018 Hero – Peter Dasent aka Play School Piano Guy

April 2018 Hero – Billy Monger & Dean Repacholi

May 2018 Hero – Netta and Bishop Michael Curry

June 2018 Hero – Marco Trungelliti

July 2018 Hero – Lee Lin Chin

August 2018 Hero – no nominations – no winner

Serena Williams, Phil Rothfield & Strawberry Saboteurs win September 2018 Jerk of the Month

By

Kaaps Loche

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October 1, 2018

2

The votes have been counted and Serena Williams, Phil Rothfield & Strawberry Saboteurs win September 2018 Jerk of the Month.

Serena Williams continued a strong history of tennis players and jerks, making up for the fact that the names Tomic and Kyrgios will missing from this month’s nominations.

Phil Rothfield got the nod for being the worst of the negative NRL journalists.

Strawberry Saboteurs were are no-brainer given how much of a Jerk act it was to needle a couple of strawberries.

A diverse group as ever for the September 2018 Jerk of the Month. And deserved.

Don’t forget you can always nominate one yourself for October anytime by contacting us at contact@thegugler.com.

September 2018 Jerk of the Month Winners

Serena Williams

Why is she nominated?

For chucking a massive tantrum. A world class tantrum like our best of all time...

The claiming every prejudice under the sun to justify it.

Jerk Rating: 3 / 10 – right category of sport to be nominated. We’re not angry with Serena, just disappointed.

Phil Rothfield

Why is he nominated?

For being the worst of the NRL Media Jerks who rarely have anything good to say about the game.

Grumpy bugger who should buzz off.

Jerk Rating: 8 / 10

Strawberry Saboteurs

Why are they nominated?

For ruining strawberries for everyone for no apparent reason.

Nice work to hurt farmers more, because they can really afford it.

If caught, should be punished with an acupuncture session they will never forget.

Jerk Rating: 8 / 10

SEPTEMBER 2018 JERK OF THE MONTH VOTING RESULTS

Here’s the final results for September 2018 Jerk of the Month voting.

[socialpoll id=”2520776″]

September 2018 Jerk of the Month Also Rans

Bruce Highway

Why is it nominated?

Simply one of the most useless pieces of roads in South East Queensland.

Whilst the major thoroughfare to the Gold Coast continually gets calls to expand its generous lane allocations even further, the north side artery has become a two lan tourism killer.

Going up the coast on any weekend has become a giant pain in the arse, with a massive delay almost guaranteed due to roadworks, an accident, or driver slowing down to admire and respect the magnificence of the Big Fish Tavern.

It’ll never be fixed as no one can afford to do it, nor afford to take the blame, so Mr Bruce Highway can get f’d and cop their September 2018 Jerk of the Month nomination.

Jerk Rating: 8kph/10

Wallabies

Why are they nominated?

For losing unwinnable games against New Zealand, and losing unloseable games against Argentina.

Although, we don’t particularly care for them.

Jerk Rating: 3/10

Dickhead Wallabies Fan who went after Lukhan Tui

Why are they nominated?

Despite our dislike of the wallabies, and the small joy we take from every loss, we certainly wouldn’t go and try to rough up one of their players.

Maybe it is because we are a lover not a fighter and The Gurgler, or that we just have no care factor on rugby at all.

But like the Dragons fans who burned jerseys, people need to calm the F down and realise that it is sport. Sure it can be frustrating, and pointless (as many an Ipswich Town fan who confirm), but no sports star deserves what Lukhan Tui got on the Goal Coast this month. Not even an underperforming rugby players.

Hopefully the clown who did it got the ban he deserved. Or even funnier would be making his punishment going to every wallabies game around Australia next year, but not allowed to touch alcohol.

Jerk Rating: 9 / 10 – give yourself a punch to the face instead of a sporting team.

Douglas Costa

Why is he nominated?

For spitting into an opposition’s mouth.

The Juventus player tried his hardest to be sent off recently against Sassuolo, and merely needed to spit in another players mouth to get some time off. That’s after a couple of fouls which could have led to the red card much earlier.

Jerk Rating: 9 / 10 – it doesn’t get much lower.

Peter Dutton

Why is it nominated?

Backing up his August Jerk of the Month win with another crack at the monthly jerk title.

This time it is for his involvement in helping his connections keep their nannies in the country while getting rid of everyone else.

And for being jerk.

Jerk Rating: 9 / 10 – one of the least likeable pollies in Australia. No wonder the Liberal Party almost decided for him to be PM.

NRL Media

Why are they nominated?

Very few sports on earth eat their own young like the NRL media does to itself.

Sure, some of the players are king size boofheads, and sometimes it is hard to see the positives in rugby league given the inept management of the game, but the continual reporting of all the negatives is tiresome.

The recent hunting of the Bulldogs was particularly bad.

Mainly Sydney based journos, as Brisbane ones wouldn’t dare given News Ltd ownership of the Broncos.

Jerk Rating: 7 / 10

QRL

Why are they nominated?

For not getting involved in showing any PNG Hunters games on TV in 2018.

Still hard to believe the team that almost doubles every crowd for the QRL, and were defending premiers couldn’t get a TV game. We’ve already moaned about this earlier, and it still annoys us.

Jerk Rating: 5 / 10

Donald Trump

What for this month?

Nominated every month this year, he is a permanent fixture in the monthly nominations.

This month we particularly like his attempt to convince people about the wetness of the recent Hurricane.

Amongst his general behaviour.

Jerk Rating: 10 / 10

Big Banks

Why are they nominated?

Their recent and distant behaviour has been uncovered at the Royal Commission, truly jerk worthy.

They celebrated by raising their interest rates for fun.

Jerk Rating: 10 / 10 – real C’s.

Foxtel

Why are they nominated?

For jacking up the cost of Foxtel for Movies and TV shows that we’ll never watch.

Fox Cricket better be worth it. At least it doesn’t contain Michael Slater.

They have lost the Champions and Europa League to Optus too.

Jerk Rating: 4 / 10

Isaiah Crowell

Why is he nominated?

For his wiping arse celebration in the NFL

Jerk Rating: 4/10 – Probably a one off as he apologised not long after.

THE 2018 JERK OF THE MONTH HONOUR BOARD

All of the below are automatically in the running for Jerk of the Year.

Jan 2018 – David Warner

Feb 2018 – Barnaby Joyce, Anthony Mundine, Bernard Tomic

Mar 2018 – Bernard Tomic

April 2018 – Bill Cosby and MKR

May 2018 – Cricket Australia, Delta Goodrem, Todd Greenberg, Meghan Markle’s Dad

June 2018 – Optus Sport, World Cup Divers & Gus Gould

July 2018 – Neymar, Channel Seven & Todd Greenberg

August 2018 – Peter Dutton

Bein Sports European Football Highlights #6

By

Theydon Bois

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September 28, 2018

0

Bein Sports European Football Highlights

The weekend is here, and that means way too much European Football on Bein Sports Australia, so to try and save you time and remind ourselves of watch to watch here is the Best Of Bein Sports European Football for another weekend.

As a first class sports nerd we love Bein Sports Australia football coverage, as it offers up all of the major European leagues and the three tiers of the English Football League..

Some might call it hipster football, we don’t, it’s pure sports nerd goodness.

And too much football is barely enough we like to say.

But if you have a life and can’t watch everything, we offer up our Best Of Bein Sports European Football Highlights, to help you follow the best of it live, without the need to stay up for absolutely everything.

Bein Sports European Football Highlights

This weekend sees the Rome derby, and top of the table clashes in Italy and Germany.

Real Madrid and Barca proved midweek that they are humans.

Times are for Australian on the East Coast. Other time zones are lucky to watch some stuff before midnight.

SAT 4:40am AEST
BEIN SPORTS 1 – CH513
BUNDESLIGA – HERTHA BERLIN v BAYERN MUNICH

A Berlin v Munich clash which could see 4th placed Hertha draw level with Bayern on points at the top of the Bundesliga ladder. A nice way to get the Bein Spots European Football weekend started.

SAT 10:50pm AEST
BEIN SPORTS 1 – CH513
SERIE A DOUBLE HEADER Pt1
ROMA v LAZIO

One of the great derbies and fiercely contested. These two were fighting over Champions League places last season, but only Lazio lie in the top four at the moment. Roma are down in 11th but did win 4-0 midweek.

SUN 1:50am AEST
BEIN SPORTS 1 – CH513
SERIE A DOUBLE HEADER Pt2
JUVENTUS v NAPOLI

1st v 2nd last season and this season. Juventus now have added Ronaldo to ensure they win the Serie A title. Napoli are currently winning the race for second.

SAT 2:20am AEST
BEIN SPORTS 3 – CH515
BUNDESLIGA – BAYER LEVERKUSEN v BORUSSIA DORTMUND

Talking of second, It’s been a while since we’ve suggested a Dortmund catch up, so this weekend is the one. Their quest to keep Bayern honest continues at Bayer Leverkusen.

SAT 2:25am AEST
BEIN SPORTS 2 – CH514
LA LIGA – EIBAR v SEVILLA

Not a game of two heavyweights, but it does involve our favourite Spanish football Eibar, and they take on Sevilla who are coming off a big 3-0 win over Real Madrid during the week. What else are you going to be doing at 2:25am?

SAT 4:40am AEST
BEIN SPORTS 2 – CH514
LA LIGA – REAL MADRID v ATLETICO MADRID

The pick of the big games this weekend sees the two Madrid sides go head to head. Atletico were a mile behind Real Madrid and Barcelona not long ago, but thanks to their midweek slip ups Atletico are within a win now. And a win over Real Madrid will see them jump over their rivals. Atletico have only lost one of their last six games against Real.

FULL SCHEDULE OF ALL LIVE BEIN SPORTS FOOTBALL

Bein Sports Australia Football Highlights Shows

Missed most of the above action or couldn’t be bothered in the first place?

Follow the below Highlights shows to see the best of each competition, and impress your friends and family, with your newly acquired football knowledge.

FRANCE – 6pm – CH513
SCOTLAND – 6pm – CH514
EFL FOOTBALL LEAGUE – 6:30pm – CH514
GERMANY – 7pm – CH513
SPAIN – 8pm – CH513
ITALY – 9pm – CH513

All shows on Monday, and all repeated later, many times.

Ultimate Sloth Weekend Sports TV Guide Australia – September 28-30

By

Max Layne

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September 27, 2018

0

It’s Grand Final weekend and as ever our Ultimate Sloth Weekend Sports TV Guide Australia is here to ensure that you can soak up as much sport as possible. Where too much is barely enough as Roy and HG would say.

With so much sport, and so many other jobs and people needing your attention on the weekend it is important to balance that out, to give you as much sloth time as possible.

Which is why we offer up the Ultimate Sloth Weekend TV Sports Guide for Australia, a suggestion of the best of the Australian TV Sport this weekend.

You will of course need a subscription sports package, but any mad Australian sports fan couldn’t survive on a diet of Gus Gould, Stats McAvaney and the poor excuse Channel Ten have for their F1 coverage these days.

Ultimate Sloth Weekend Sports TV Guide Australia Highlights

Here’s a quick overview of what’s ahead, with the full Ultimate Sloth Weekend TV Sports Guide for Australia with times and channels following.

GOLF

Golf is usually way too dull to be included in any sporting highlights package, the sport usually watched by people called Phil and Jeff, but this weekend sees the Ryder Cup, the battle of the USA and Europe.

Normally Australians would side with the Europeans, but knowing how much Donald Trump loves golf, it should seal the deal for all Aussie fans.

RUGBY LEAGUE

The NRL have their big day / night on Sunday, and they go for quantity and quality.

Three big games featuring the first ever Womens Grand Final, the awesome State Championship featuring the mighty Redcliffe Dolphins, and the NRL.

While the NRL sucks for continuing to have the Grand Final on a Sunday night instead of an afternoon, at least we get two games prior to get into the mood with.

There’s also the UK Super League Super 8’s getting into the business end with late night and early morning games galore.

AFL

Grand Final time, and of course it is in the traditional timeslot of September and Saturday afternoon. Mainly because the AFL run their game and not Channel Nein.

There’s only the one game though, so to avoid the fluff, tedious analysis, and inspirational slow motion montages find out the actual kick off time and tune in not more than 30 second before.

FORMULA 1

Russian Grand Prix time this weekend, usually a boring race but what else are you going to do on a Sunday evening. All the good stuff is over by then. The first few corners are pretty fun.

Less experience, but multiple times more fun are the Formula 2 guys, who have their usual two races over the weekend. The second race is a decent Sunday dinner timeslot.

FOOTBALL

A couple late night gems this week for the ultimate sports nerd – a Madrid derby between Real and Atletico and an Italian double-header of the Rome derby followed by first v second with added Ronaldo.

There’s also the token FTA game of football on SBS.

Ultimate Sloth Weekend Sports TV Guide Australia – September 28 – September 30

Here is the best of what’s on offer according to us. OF course there’s more, but you only have two eyes and 24 hours in a day. Unless you have more of either, in which case we salute you.

Day	Time	Sport	Channel	TV	Description
Friday	0:00	NRL	FS2	502	Grand Final Replays
Friday	4:30	UK Super League	FS2	502	UK Super 8’s- Salford v Toulouse
Friday	16:00	Golf	FS7	507	Ryder Cup Day 1
Friday	21:45	F1	FS6	506	Russian GP – P2
Saturday	4:30	UK Super League	FS2	502	UK Super 8’s – Leeds v Toronto
Saturday	14:00	AFL	CH7	CH7	AFL Grand Final
Saturday	16:00	Golf	FS7	507	Ryder Cup Day 2
Saturday	21:00	Football	SBS	SBS	EPL – West Ham v Man Utd
Saturday	22:00	F1	FS6	506	Russian GP Qualifying
Sunday	4:00	UK Super League	FS2	502	UK Super 8’s – London v Halifax
Sunday	13:15	Motor Racing	FS6	506	Formula 2 – Race 1 (Delayed)
Sunday	13:20	NRL	FS2	502	NRLW Grand Final
Sunday	15:45	NRL	CH9	FS2	NRL State Championship
Sunday	18:00	Golf	FS7	507	Ryder Cup Day 3
Sunday	18:15	Motor Racing	FS6	506	Formula 2 – Race 2
Sunday	22:00	F1	FS6	506	Russian GP – Race

Ultimate Sloth Weekend Sports TV Guide Australia
DRINK OF THE WEEK

It’s hard to imagine a weekend of sport on the lounge without a refreshing beverage, and each week we’ll recommend one for you as an accompaniment to all that sport.

THIS MONTH – SP LAGER

Nothing says refreshment like PNG’s finest beer, and a big game between a full strength Kumuls and Prime Minister’s XIII needs a full strength beer.

Available at Dan Murphy’s.

Ultimate Sloth Weekend Sports TV Guide Australia
OBSCURE SPORTING SHIRT OF THE WEEK

To get into the mood for a good weekend of slothing and sport, it’s always good to wear a sporting shirt of some sort to attempt to justify to yourself and others about all the slothing ahead. And of course, the more obscure the shirt, the more respect you’ll get.

THIS WEEK – 2018-19 CD La Granja “Beans” Home Shirt

Want a Football shirt from an obscure lower division Spanish football team featuring beans, the local product?

Of course you do. And you’ll be one of the only ones in your street with one.

It’s affordable via the Classic Football Shirts Website.

Premier League Predictions Week 7 – Gurgler v Brexit

By

Theydon Bois

-

September 27, 2018

5

After a brief Carabao Cup midweek interruption, the Premier League is back to liven up the weekends and as ever we have our Premier League Predictions Week 7 ready.

Each game week we bring our unique look at the EPL, starting with this week’s Premier League Predictions Week 7 and then all the other things like games, fantasy, and betting that make up our mini preview.

But anyone can offer up predictions. So each week we will put our Premier League predictions up against a guest tipster, but not necessarily a person, but based on a statistic or ridiculous idea which has varying links to football.

It’s very much like BBC’s Lawro vs Somebody preview, but better. Arguably. And we’re slightly less grumpy than Lawro. Sometimes. And our tips are available for everyone to enjoy, not just those in the UK who know who the usual array of comedians and musicians are.

Like this week, for our Premier League Predictions Week 7 we put our selections up against tips based on Brexit voting.

We’ll also offer up a few other bits and pieces for the huge weekend of Premier League.

Premier League Predictions Week 7 – Gurgler v Brexit Voting

Opponent Tips Background: One of the big news stories in the UK over the past few years has been the Brexit vote and the machinations of that since the historic vote.

How do we get tips out of that you ask? Well we’ve done it before in the previous two seasons, and will try an explain it again.

We get the majority result from each team’s voting jurisdiction, and work out who wins the game on whichever team’s vote was higher.

And if the majority was Remain between the two sides, that means they wanted to stay in the EU – away from the UK – hence the tip will go to the away side.

Alternatively if the majority was to leave, it means the they prefer to stay in the UK – hence the tip will go to home side.

If both teams end up as Leave or Remain, then the tip goes accordingly. If the vote was split, then the tips goes to whichever one had the higher % for their option.

It may be too complicated for Donald Trump to work out, especially over the laughter, but follow below for the Premier League Predictions Week 7 selections based on them.

The Gurgler’s selections are based on a mixture of listening to multiple podcasts and reading way too many websites, added with ignorance to all of that with our own thoughts. We’re going all right so far at 60% for the season.

Keep reading on for our Mini Preview of the weekend ahead too.

Premier League Predictions Week 7 – Our Tips

MANCHESTER UTD to eat West Ham (2-1)
WOLVES to beat Southampton (2-0)
ARSENAL to beat Watford (2-1)
DRAW – Everton v Fulham (1-1)
SPURS to beat Huddersfield (3-0)
MANCHESTER CITY to beat Brighton (4-0)
LEICESTER to beat Newcastle (2-0)
DRAW – Chelsea v Liverpool (0-0)
DRAW – Cardiff v Burnley (0-0)
BOURNEMOUTH to beat Crystal Palace (2-0)

Premier League Predictions Week 7 – Avoiding Russians due to Tourism Interest in City/Town

Brexit Voting in brackets.

MAN UTD (Remain 60.4%) to beat West Ham (Remain 52,8%)
WOLVES (Leave 62.6% to beat Southampton (Leave 53.8%)
WATFORD (Leave 50.3%) to beat Arsenal (Remain 75.2%)
FULHAM (Remain 68.7) to beat Everton (Remain 58.2%)
SPURS (Remain 75.6%) to beat Huddersfield (Leave 54.7%)
BRIGHTON (Remain 68.6%) to beat Manchester City (Remain 60.4%)
LEICESTER (Remain 51.1%) to beat Newcastle (Remain 50.7%)
LIVERPOOL (Remain 58.2%) to beat Chelsea Remain 68.7%)
CARDIFF (Leave 60.0%) to beat BURNLEY (66.6%)
BOURNEMOUTH (Leave 54.9%) to beat Crystal Palace (Remain 54.3%)

Premier League Predictions Week 7 Quick Mini Preview

GAME BY GAME PREVIEW IN 25 WORDS OR LESS

WEST HAM v MANCHESTER UTD

Good performance from West Ham last weekend v Chelsea and thrashed Macclesfield in midweek League Cup. Man Utd couldn’t bat either Wolves or Derby this week. Let the Moaninho restart.

WOLVES v SOUTHAMPTON

Wolves looking more and moe like they are in the Premier League for a long time and a good time. Southampton will continue to hover around the bottom half.

ARSENAL v WATFORD

Watford are exactly the side that Arsenal don’t usually like to play, and the Hornets are in decent form. Looking forward to Troy Deeney annoying the Gunners.

EVERTON v FULHAM

Just a win a piece between these sides so far, so obviously another draw makes sense here. Fulham look good in parts but not gettingthe results. We reckon a burst of winning form is just around the corner.

HUDDERSFIELD v SPURS

Three wins on the road for Spurs already this year, lucky as they don’t have a home ground yet. Huddersfield have just the one point at home, and are looking like relegation fodder already. Second season syndrome and all.

MANCHESTER CITY v BRIGHTON

After seeing City dismantle Cardiff away last weekend, one wonders how bad this could be for Brighton, who aren’t quite as effective on the road.

NEWCASTLE v LEICESTER

Newcastle have conceded the eighth fewest goals so far this season, a decent effort given the top 6 sides they’ve had to play. Leicester tend to concede goals, but Newcastle don’t tend to score them. Maddison is a star.

CHELSEA v LIVERPOOL

Top clash between two unbeaten giants of the Premier League. That usually means boring 0-0 draw that wastes everyone’s time. hopefully not with the attacking potential on offer.

CARDIFF v BURNLEY

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

BOURNEMOUTH v CRYSTAL PALACE

Bournemouth are going well in the top of half of the table. We could watch Crystal Palace’s Zaha play for hours, luckily he scores occasionally as Palace would never win otherwise.

THE AUSTRALIAN TV FTA GAME

No Optus? Don’t blame you, it’s no longer free. But if you’re a tightarse like us, here is the TV game for the week. $15 a month is not bad on Optus if you throw in the Champions and Europa League.

SATURDAY 9PM – WEST HAM UTD v MANCHESTER UTD

THE 0-0 SPECIAL

CARDIFF v BURNLEY

Season Progress – 2 correct from 6 weeks. Picked the draw again but not the nils.

EPL BETTING – SUPER PREMIER LEAGUE Week 7 MULTI

Time to make some money – here’s our best five tips rolled into one money making machine.

WOLVES to beat Southampton (2-0)
SPURS to beat Huddersfield (3-0)
MANCHESTER CITY to beat Brighton (4-0)
LEICESTER to beat Newcastle (2-0)
DRAW – Cardiff v Burnley (0-0)

$1 Multi pays $22

FANTASY FOOTBALL THOUGHTS

We weren’t very good last season, but that won’t stop us providing a few Fantasy Football EPL tips.

Neves is great – but how long can you stubbornly hold onto him for FPL
Sessegnon if worth a punt again back in defence
Kane is currently a waste of money, but they are playing Huddersfield
Aguero for captain this week

OUR SIDE FOR MONEY WHERE MOUTH IS

Here’s our side for this season.

2018-2019 Premier League Tipping Competition Results

THE GURGLER

2018-2019 Results – 36/60 – 60% – (3 Correct Scores)

Last Week – 5/10 – (1 Correct Score)

Best – 7/10 Week 1, 3, 4

OPPOSITION

2018-2019 Results – 30/60 – 50%

Week 1 – 6/10 – Week 1 Form from last 5 seasons
Week 2 – 5/10 – Change in Market Value after Transfer Window
Week 3 – 4/10 – Red Cards from last 5 seasons
Week 4 – 7/10 – Form v Post Sir Alex Man Utd
Week 5 – 5/10 – Post International Break Form
Week 6 – 3/10 – Avoiding Russian Spies

PNG Kumuls v Prime Ministers XIII Squads and Thoughts

By

admin

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September 26, 2018

1

Squads have been announced for the PNG Kumuls v Prime Ministers XIII match in Port Moresby on October 6 in Port Moresby, and looking through the squads the Kumuls must be quietly confident of giving the Australians a very hard time, and whisper it, beating the Australian side.

The Australians have an infinitely larger pool of players to choose from, but have selected players from the Intrust Super competitions, meaning the usual gulf in experience between the two sides has been narrowed greatly.

We list the squads for the PNG Kumuls v Prime Ministers XIII match, and give a few points of views on the sides.

If you’re wondering, we’re calling a Kumuls win.

PNG Kumuls squad

Daniel Russell – South Logan Magpies (Intrust Super Cup)
David Mead – Catalans Dragons (Super League)
Edene Gabi – PNG Hunters (Intrust Super Cup)
Enock Maki – PNG Hunters (Intrust Super Cup)
James Segeyaro – Cronulla Sharks (NRL)
Justin Olam – Melbourne Storm (NRL)
Kyle Laybutt – North Queensland Cowboys (NRL)
Lachlan Lam – Sydney Roosters
Moses Meninga – PNG Hunters (Intrust Super Cup)
Nene McDonald – St George Illawara (NRL)
Nixon Putt – PNG Hunters (Intrust Super Cup)
Rhadley Brawa – PNG Hunters (Intrust Super Cup)
Rhyse Martin – Canterbury Bulldogs (NRL)
Stanton Albert – PNG Hunters (Intrust Super Cup)
Tom Butterfield – Easts Tigers (Intrust Super Cup)
Watson Boas – PNG Hunters (Intrust Super Cup)
Wellington Albert – Widnes Vikings (Super League
Willie Minoga – PNG Hunters (Intrust Super Cup)

PNG Kumuls Squad Thoughts

Firstly, always great to see our favourite Willie Minoga selected. It is another chance for him to show the rest of the rugby league world what we already know. He kicks arse.

A shame not to see Ase Boast teaming up with his brother one more time before they head for the UK. Who could blame them though with the lack of prospects in Australian rugby league / NRL for PNG players.

Looking forward to seeing Lachlam Lam get another go with the PNG side, after his sensational debut in the rugby league World Cup. The future of PNG rugby league is on show.

The Albert brothers ride again, and seeing the impact Stanton Albert had on his early return from the UK, we can only imagine Wellington is going even better. A great hope as he was looking quite god before he left.

Rhyse Martin is a player like so many others in Australian rugby league. Super talented, quality performer, but for so long we asked why on earth a player going so well couldn’t get an NRL gig. And still don’t. But his presence in this side will be a massive advantage, along with his outstanding goal kicking. Great to see him going so well in the NRL. Proving that these players in the Intrust Super competitions are capable if given the chance.

Prime Minsters XIII Squad

Corey Allan (Broncos)
Zac Lomax (Dragons)
Jesse Ramien (Sharks)
Brian Kelly (Sea Eagles)
Nick Cotric (Raiders)
Jake Clifford (Cowboys)
Daly Cherry-Evans (c) (Sea Eagles)
David Klemmer (Bulldogs)
Ben Hunt (Dragons)
Jordan McLean (Cowboys)
Tyson Frizell (Dragons)
Tyrone Peachey (Panthers)
Jake Trbojevic (Sea Eagles)
Aaron Woods (Sharks)
Reagan Campbell-Gillard (Panthers)
Matt Prior (Sharks)
Chad Townsend (Sharks)
Gehamat Shibasaki (Broncos)
Reece Robson (Dragons)
Enari Tuala (Cowboys)’

Prime Minsters XIII Squad Thoughts

A scattering of big name NRL players in amongst some lesser known NRL talent, and the occasional bolter.

The Souths Logan Magpie connection of former Magpies great Mal Meninga must explain the selection of Corey Allen at fullback. Top players, and good enough for Souths to pick him up, but quite shock as the Australian number 1.

The back row of the Prime Ministers XIII looks particularly impressive with all three players involved in NSW’s State of Origin series victory, two of them were some of their best. But none of the trio are Willie Minoga. And Rhyse Martin is top quality, as has Nixon Putt been this season. A key battle.

The props are strong too, Klemmer loves the tough stuff, and he will need to up against the Kumuls.

Australia’s bench looks a little weak, except for the potential game breaker of Reagan Campbell-Gillard, who we can see causing the Kumuls real problems with his aggressive style and height. Something the Kumuls lack in general.

Daly Cherry-Evans is a safe pair of hands at halfback, and Jake Clifford should be a little used to some of the Kumuls from his time with the Northern Pride this season. Ben Hunt has been chosen as number nine, and whether he likes it or not after Origin III, his new national position is hooker.

PNG Kumuls v Prime Ministers XIII Team v Team Advantages and Key Battles

PNG Kumuls

Willie Minoga – star of the game against Fiji, and a game breaker who has versatility. Bias we know, as a two time Person of the Year of this very website, but he can prove us wrong.

David Mead – for all the potential in Corey Allen, he is not currently a quality top level performer like David Mead. Mead was sensational in the Rugby League World Cup before injury, and has held his own in the UK Super LEague for Catalans this season.

Hooker – James Segeyaro and Tommy Butterfield are genuine number nines, and very fine ones at that. Tommy Butterfield showed his class and quality in a losing Easts Tigers side in last weekend’s Intrust Super Cup Grand Final. Look to the Australian side which has makeshift hooker Ben Hunt starting, and we guess a back up in another halfback Chad Townsend.

Centres – Presuming it is Nene McDonald and Justin Olam in the centres, we definitely think that the Kumuls combination is far superior to the Jesse Ramien / Brian Kelly offering. Olam has been demanding selection for the Storm this season with his fine form for the Sunshine Coast, and was great in the test against Fiji. McDonald has been a powerhouse for the Dragons. Some could argue that the Australian offer a little more, we don’t and the PNG pair have the advantage of playing together previously.

Australian Prime Minsiters XIII

The Back Row – Players good enough to feature in NSW’s Origin winning series over Queensland is good enough reason for us to say it will be a match and more for the Kumuls back row. In saying that, Rhyse Martin and Nixon Putt are quality, if not as well known.

NRL experience – although NRL experience doesn’t mean anything, it is still a factor against the Kumuls who don’t have near as much.

Nic Cotric – the exciting Canberra winger could be one of those game breakers on the wing hat the Kumuls just don’t have.

Key Battles

Can the Albert bothers can on top of David Klemmer and Jordan McLean. They’ll certainly have the height advantage, but will they have the heart advantage.

Halves. DCE is the top quality player of the quartet but he will be playing with the slightly inexperienced Cowboy Jake Clifford. Not much NRL experience either for the Kumuls, but in Watson Boas and Lachlam Lam they have great potential and a good mix of experience.

Finally whether the advantage each side has over the other is greater.

A Neutrals Guide to the 2018 NRL Grand Final

By

Max Layne

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September 26, 2018

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So the 2018 NRL Grand Final looms as not a great one for the neutrals, with neither club particularly likable or their football style imagination capturing.

That may seem like sour grapes from a fan of one the vanquished sides, but the 2018 NRL Grand Final doesn’t jump out as a potential classic.

There will be plenty of wrestle, tackle, refereeing, and slow motion footage set to inspirational music.

I guess thanks to a very generous judiciary decision for Melbourne the best attacking weapons for the Storm (Billy Slater) is available and the Roosters best Latrell Mitchell are both available to play. We won’t get into the Billy Slater being cleared too much, but will certainly be looking for a similar service at the next speeding fine.

But it is hard not to watch the 2018 Grand Final and not want to support someone or be interested, so here is our Neutral’s Guide to the 2018 NRL Grand Final.

WHAT IS THERE TO BE EXCITED ABOUT 2018 NRL GRAND FINAL DAY

The NRLW Grand Final?

Yes.

The short burst of NRLW has shown they deserve a permanent and expanded presence in rugby league. For Broncos fans it is a last chance to take out some silverware this season.

Based on current form, they should win easy. But they are playing the Roosters, and it could be a big day for the Chooks.

May the Rabbitohs be invited to play next season.

The NRL State Championship Final?

Absolutely.

This fixture is entering its fifth year, and the ledger is even at 2-2 between the two states.

This years sees the Intrust Super premiership winners from NSW Bulldogs take on the Redcliffe Dolphins from Queensland.

We love the game of course, and wonder why it took so many years to implement.

It gives both competitions more relevance, and fans can either jump on the bandwagon to stay interested or just enjoy a different type of rugby league before the big wrestle.

p.s. Go Redcliffe – in honour of Unofficial Celebrate a Dolphin week.

The Pre Match Entertainment?

Depends.

If Gang of Youths is close to your type of thing then congrats.

We’re wondering why it is needed at all. Well, apart from the fact that the NRL wants to be the NFL.

We of course would prefer a Mascot decathlon, 100m sprint with players from each club, or the biggest game of Junior football played on the full length field with only Under 12’s and hundreds of kids per side. We even suggested a raft of Semi Radradra entertainment a few years back.

It could be worse. And has certainly been worse.

The Coverage?

Yes and No.

Yes for the Fox League coverage all day. Free from most of the boofheads who are there due to name rather than insightful analysis or entertainment.

Yes to Channel Nine’s coverage of the State Championship match. If Peter Psaltis get the chance to call it. Same for Scott Sattler.

Nein/No to the pisspoor attempt that Channel Nein will make for the 2018 NRL Grand Final. Featuring no ones favourites – themselves.

It will be the usual dross delivered in the usual style, leaving most Fox Sports snobs in no doubt that the subscription is worth every cent.

This will be the fourth and final time we have to suffer them for the season.

SOME THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN THE 2018 NRL GRAND FINAL

The Fullback battle between Billy Slater and James Tedesco. One is destined to take the mantle of best number 1 from the other who is retiring. They get one final chance to show who’s boss on the big stage.
Latrell Mitchell v either Storm centre in rugby league’s biggest game of niggle for the year.
An 80 metre special from Josh Addo-Carr.
A Dylan Napa special hurt sandwich.
At least three penalties from Jared Waerea-Hargreaves
The mid game on field refereeing assistance from Cameron Smith.
The Half Time Analysis on Channel Nein….or not.
Gus Gould will being a first class tit during commentary
Full Time
A post game retirement from Cameron Smith, not allowing Billy Slater his own solo farewell.

2018 NRL GRAND FINAL BETTING

Betting goes hand in hand with rugby league, but with so many markets how does one invest?

There’s many betting companies with many betting options. But some do provide a service where you can offer up your own betting requests.

In that spirit here are some of our suggestions.

The Half Time interview as they walk from the field will take less than 5 seconds. None of it will be worth the trouble to player or viewer.
At least one intercept try.
Jared Waerea-Hargreaves to concede 3 or more penalties.
3 or more players swear live on TV in the post match interviews.
Gus Gould to have one bust of repeating a phrase ten times or more during commentary.
Billy Slater to drop the first bomb he attempts

PICK A SIDE TO TEMPORARILY SUPPORT

If none of the above interests you, then why not simply pick a side for the 2018 NRL Grand Final to support.

But who? A hard question that we will attempt to answer on your behalf.

WHY A NEUTRAL SHOULD SUPPORT MELBOURNE STORM

If you are a Queenslander, as there are enough Maroons in the Storm set up to cheer for.
If you are from anywhere other than NSW and hate Sydney.
If you think Billy Slater should be given the send off he deserves. The judiciary did.
You enjoy WWE, given the Storm are pioneers of the ruck wrestle.
If you have any Fijian background and want to get behind Suliasi Vanivalu.
If you hate the Roosters.
If you love refereeing.
If you a little purple on a sports uniform.

WHY A NEUTRAL SHOULD SUPPORT ROOSTERS

If you are from NSW and want a cherry on top of great season for NSW rugby league.
If you are from Adelaide and hate Melbourne for stealing the Grand Prix and other things.
If you play golf.
If you like big hits from a player like Dylan Napa.
If you like players with personality like JWH, Latrell Mitchell, and Blake Ferguson.
If you love Chicken.
If your dog hates storms.
If you hate the NBN.

NOMINATIONS | September 2018 Hero of the Month

By

Kaaps Loche

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September 25, 2018

0

After the unveiling of September’s Jerk of the Month nominations earlier day, it is nice to unveil people of differing qualities with our September 2018 Hero of the Month nominations.t

The hero of the month was introduced to tone down some of the cynicism and hatred that can exist in the world from time to time, and our batch of nominations for this month are a great mix.

Sadly, thee was no nominations for August as it was an awful month of jerks.

Here for your consideration and voting are the nominations for July 2018 Hero of the Month. You, the loyal or occasional reader get to decide who the ultimate winner is too.

So Vote Early, and Vote Often.