FA Cup First Round 18-19 Predictions and Preview

By

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November 8, 2018

The FA Cup First Round 18-19 is here this weekend, and we have the predictions and preview you need as League One and League Two sides join the Non League sides who have already been busy qualifying for months. It is a good time to get on board.

Some call the FA Cup the greatest annual sporting competition, and at this stage – FA Cup First Round 18-19 – it still is. The big EPL and Championship sides join in Round 3, and maintain the fun until the usual suspects make the quarter finals, and it becomes a little more dull.

Our favourite thing of this stage of the FA Cup is that there are still many Non League sides left in the draw, some are fallen Football League sides, some have great names, a lot most have never heard of. Dreams of a potential third round clash against an EPL side is just two wins away.

Here then is our FA Cup First Round 18-19 Predictions and Preview, where we are looking for upsets, certainties and interesting bits and pieces.

FA Cup First Round 18-19 Points of Interest

There 32 Non League sides at this stage – 16 come from the National League Premier (5th Tier), 13 from the National League North/South (6th Tier), and three from the seventh tier.

The three seventh tier teams are:

Haringey Borough
Metropolitan Police
Hitchin Town

The average gap in League Positions between the teams is 34 places. The biggest five are listed below:

89 Places – Haringey Borough (7th Tier) v AFC Wimbledon (3rd)
76 Places – Alfreton Town (6th Tier) v Fleetwood Town (3rd)
73 Places – Metropolitan Police (7th Tier) v Newport County (4th)
68 Places – Maidenhead Utd (5th Tier) v Portsmouth (3rd)
63 Places – Choley (6th Tier) v Doncaster Rovers (3rd)

The closest matched fixture is Walsall (11th) v Coventry (8th) in League One. It is only 40 km apart too.

There are 11 all Football League fixtures.

There are six all Non League fixtures.

There are some former winners of the FA Cup in the FA Cup First Round 18-19 – Portsmouth (2010) and Coventry (1987)

The games with the lowest combined league position are:

Hitchin Town v Solihull Moors
Torquay United v Woking
Southport v Boreham Wood
Weston-Super-Mare v Wrexham
Chesterfield v Billericay Town

FA Cup First Round 18-19 Predictions

Here are our bold predictions for the First Round of the FA Cup, split into nice little groups.

THE BIG CUPSETS

HARINGEY BOROUGH to beat Wimbledon
MAIDSTONE to beat Macclesfield
ALDERSHOT to beat Bradford
SALFORD to beat Shrewsbury
BARNET to beat Bristol Rovers
HAMPTON & RICHMOND to beat Oldham
HARTLEPOOL to beat Gilingham

THE MINI CUPSETS

WYCOMBE to beat Luton
COLCHESTER to beat Accrington
STEVENAGE to beat Plymouth
EXETER to beat Blackpool

THE HOME COMFORTS

SOUTHEND to beat Crawley
CREWE to beat Carlisle
BARNSLEY to beat Notts County
YEOVIL to beat Stockport County
SWINDON to beat York City
SUTTON UTD to beat Slough
LINCOLN to beat Northampton
TRANMERE to beat Oxford
TORQUAY to beat Woking
ROCHDALE to beat Gateshead

THE AWAY PAYS

SUNDERLAND to beat Port Vale
CHARLTON to beat Mansfield
FLEETWOOD to beat Alfreton Town
DONCASTER to beat Chorley
MILTON KEYNES to beat Grimsby
BURTON to beat Scunthorpe
PORTSMOUTH to beat Maidstone
PETERBOROUGH to beat Bromley
NEWPORT to beat Met Police
COVENTRY to beat Walsall
BOREHAM WOOD to beat Southport

THE NO IDEA SO WE’LL GO FOR A DRAW

HITCHIN TOWN v SOLIHULL MOORS
GUISELEY v CARMBIDGE UTD
EBBSFLEET v CHELTENHAM
WESTON SUPER MARE v WREXHAM
BURY v DOVER

OUR BEST OF THE BEST

Here we take one from each category and put it into a Super Multi.

SALFORD to beat Shrewsbury
STEVENAGE to beat Plymouth
BARNSLEY to beat Notts County
SUNDERLAND to beat Port Vale

$1 for $33

FA Cup First Round 18-19 Teams of Interest

With so many teams at this stage of the FA Cup that are as far from the EPL behemoths as it gets, we thought we’d highlight a few of the interesting ones.

METROPOLITAN POLICE (The Met)

League / Position: 9th in Southern Football League Premier Division South (7th Tier)

This is their fifth appearance in the FA Cup First Round,

As the name would suggest it was solely made up of only Met Police staff back in the day, but that has since been relaxed.

They play out of East Molesey in the south west London fringe, near Kingston and Twickenham.

WESTON SUPER MARE (The Seagulls)

League / Position: 22nd and Last in National League South (6th Tier)

A side that can lay claim to the feat of never being relegated.

They made the second round of the FA Cup in 03-04, and have a great name.

They play in Weston Super Mare in Somerset, just across the Severn from Cardiff in Wales.

STOCKPORT COUNTY (The Hatters)

League / Position: 9th in National League North (6th Tier)

From a side that has never been relegated to one whose fall is among the biggest whilst still staying in business. In 2003 Stockport County were relegated from the second tier what is now called the Championship. Within ten years they were in the sixth tier National League North.

Hard to get anyone other diehards to follow the club, sitting in the shadows of the big Manchester clubs.

Were Football League Trophy (Knockout for L1 and L2) Runners Up in 92 and 93.

FA Cup First Round 18-19 TV Games

Here are the TV Games in the UK across BBC and BT Sport.

Currently we have no idea how these games are being shown elsewhere. Sadly not on ESPN by the looks this year for those in Australia.

HARINGEY BOROUGH v WIMBLEDON
MAIDENHEAD v PORTSMOUTH
PORT VALE v SUNDERLAND
HAMPTON & RICHMOND v OLDHAM

FA Cup First Round 18-19 Fixture List

Team	Tier	Team2	Tier	Clash	Pos Diff
Hitchin Town	7	Solihull Moors	5	All NL	62
Torquay United	6	Woking	6	All NL	4
Southport	6	Boreham Wood	5	All NL	34
Weston-super-Mare	6	Wrexham	5	All NL	45
Chesterfield	5	Billericay Town	6	All NL	-6
Haringey Borough	7	AFC Wimbledon	3	Other	89
Sutton United	5	Slough Town	6	All NL	-25
Metropolitan Police	7	Newport County	4	Other	73
Swindon Town	4	York City	6	Other	-46
Guiseley	6	Cambridge United	4	Other	42
Hampton & Richmond Borough	6	Oldham Athletic	4	Other	48
Yeovil Town	4	Stockport County	6	Other	-43
Tranmere Rovers	4	Oxford City	6	Other	-61
Maidstone United	5	Macclesfield Town	4	Other	18
Ebbsfleet United	5	Cheltenham Town	4	Other	16
Morecambe	4	Halifax Town	5	Other	-20
Bury	4	Dover Athletic	5	Other	-38
Alfreton Town	6	Fleetwood Town	3	Other	76
Aldershot Town	5	Bradford City	3	Other	37
Chorley	6	Doncaster Rovers	3	Other	63
Barnet	5	Bristol Rovers	3	Other	40
Crewe Alexandra	4	Carlisle United	4	Other	7
Gillingham	3	Hartlepool United	5	Other	-40
Rochdale	3	Gateshead	5	Other	-40
Grimsby Town	4	Milton Keynes Dons	4	Other	19
Maidenhead United	5	Portsmouth	3	Other	68
Shrewsbury Town	3	Salford City	5	Other	-33
Bromley	5	Peterborough United	3	Other	59
Lincoln City	4	Northampton Town	4	Other	-15
Oxford United	3	Forest Green Rovers	4	All EFL	-12
Plymouth Argyle	3	Stevenage	4	All EFL	-10
Barnsley	3	Notts County	4	All EFL	-42
Southend United	3	Crawley Town	4	All EFL	-23
Port Vale	4	Sunderland	3	All EFL	35
Exeter City	4	Blackpool	3	All EFL	20
Mansfield Town	4	Charlton Athletic	3	All EFL	25
Accrington Stanley	3	Colchester United	4	All EFL	-20
Scunthorpe United	3	Burton Albion	3	All EFL	5
Luton Town	3	Wycombe Wanderers	3	All EFL	-10
Walsall	3	Coventry City	3	All EFL	3

Premier League Predictions Week 12 – Gurgler v US Mid Term Elections

By

Theydon Bois

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November 7, 2018

7

We have our Premier League Predictions Week 12 ready, and with the US Mid Term Elections in the news we are using those results as our opponent tips this weekend.

Every week we offer up tips, preview and an alternative view on the Premier League that we hope you enjoy.

Onwards to our Premier League Predictions Week 12. It’s very much like BBC’s Lawro vs Somebody preview, but better. Arguably.

Premier League Predictions Week 12 – Gurgler v US Mid Term Elections

Opponent Tips Background: It has been a while since we did a reasonably absurd method of tipping an EPL winner, but at least it is current in the news.

With the US Mid Term Elections providing news around the world, we have fashioned tips out of the results.

First of all we needed an American equivalent of each EPL side,. We found most of them in the USA, but where there was more than one, we took the one with the biggest population, and if we couldn’t find an exact place, we drew a long bow to find one. Notes on those with the tips.

We then compare the results of the state that each team is in for the Governor elections, as they are usually the most interesting and one per state. The higher the % of the Vote for the winner, that state/EPL side gets the tip for Premier League Predictions Week 12.

But first, our Premier League Predictions. A solid 6/10 last week. More to come this week.

Premier League Predictions Week 12

Premier League Predictions Week 12 – The Gurgler House Tips

BRIGHTON to beat Cardiff (1-0)
WEST HAM to beat Huddersfield (3-0)
LEICESTER to beat Burnley (2-1)
BOURNEMOUTH to beat Newcastle (2-1)
WATFORD to beat Southampton (2-0)
SPURS to beat Crystal Palace (2-0)
LIVERPOOL to beat Fulham (7-0)
CHELSEA to beat Everton (3-1)
DRAW – Arsenal v Wolves (1-1)
MANCHESTER CITY to beat Manchester Utd (4-2)

Premier League Predictions Week 12 – v US Mid Term Elections

State and % Vote of Winner in brackets.
NC = Not Contested NA = Not available

BRIGHTON (MI – 53%) to beat Cardiff (NJ – NC)
DRAW – Huddersfield v West Ham (Couldn’t find anything for either)
DRAW – Leicester (VA – NC) v Burnley (NC – NC)
NEWCASTLE (OK – 54%) to beat Bournemouth (NA)
SOUTHAMPTON (NY – 59%) to beat Watford (ND – NC)
CRYSTAL PALACE (MI – 53%) to beat Tottenham (NA)
LIVERPOOL (NY – 59%) to beat Fulham (CO – 52%)
CHELSEA (MA – 67%) to beat Everton (AK – 65%)
WOLVES (FL – 50%) to beat Arsenal (UT – NC)
MANCHESTER UTD to beat Manchester City (Red won NH so only fitting)

Premier League Predictions Week 12 Quick Mini Preview

GAME BY GAME PREVIEW IN 50 WORDS OR SO.

CARDIFF v BRIGHTON

Cardiff did the right thing last weekend by refusing to beat Leicester in their emotional time, but they surely won’t be as welcoming to Brighton this weekend. Bit of a dud game to have first up this weekend, with Cardiff not very good at home, and Brighton fr less effective away. The difference probably will be Glenn Murray.

HUDDERSFIELD v WEST HAM

Huddersfield have as many wins as goals at home after they ensured Fulham take the title of worst current EPL side off them on Monday night. West Ham are way too unpredictable to guess what’s coming next, but the win against Burnley last weekend was impressive enough and we love Marko Arnautovic.

LEICESTER v BURNLEY

A big week for Leicester after their emotional win at Cardiff and trip to Thailand to pay their respects to the owner who brought so much joy to their club. Another big occasion awaits, as this will be the first home game since the terrible helicopter accidents claimed those lives. Burnley probably won’t spoil the occasion based their four losses from their last five on the road.

NEWCASTLE v BOURNEMOUTH

Newcastle got their first win on the weekend, joining the growing list of five teams on one win after 11 matches. Bournemouth on the other hand could barely be more impressive this season, although somehow they lost to Manchester Utd. They should have been well clear at half time, but Newcastle don’t have the same resources to launch a second half onslaught.

SOUTHAMPTON v WATFORD

Southampton were $8 outsiders at the start of the season for relegation, but they look every bit a relegation candidate at the moment. That is until Mark Hughes is finally found out to be an overrated manager and they bring in the usual firefighters. Watford’s loss at Newcastle was a bit of a surprise last weekend, an indication of their progress this season. Still eight place and halfway to safety (19pts) is a good place to be in. As will St Mary’s be when they turn over the Saints.

CRYSTAL PALACE v SPURS

Crystal Palace haven’t been too bad on their four game horror run – a draw against Arsenal and a decent performance in a loss at Chelsea last weekend. Good performances aside, they haven’t won in six games, and face Spurs on the back of a great Champions League win. And Spurs have the league’s best away record W6 L1.

LIVERPOOL v FULHAM

It doesn’t get much worse for Fulham. Dead last, lose to Huddersfield, having the worst defensive record in the league, and lost five in a row. So facing Liverpool at Anfield, and on the back of a Champions League loss against Red Star Belgrade could quite possibly the worst possible match. Will probably be the first manager casualty of the season.

CHELSEA v EVERTON

Chelsea got the job done last weekend against Crystal Palace, and remain without a loss so far this season, and Morata scored twice last weekend. Everton have won four of their last five and are in the top 6 on recent form. However their record on the road this season is nowhere near enough to trouble Chelsea. Not for all of the Richarlissons in the world.

ARSENAL v WOLVES

Both of these teams didn’t win last weekend and probably deserved more. Arsenal should be happy that their 1-1 draw showed they are capable of a top four finish and beyond. Wolves did very well against Spurs, but the now three straight losses in a row is a worry.

MANCHESTER CITY v MANCHESTER UTD

A match to truly determine the gap between the two sides in Manchester. City are playing at another level, and that’s just from the rest of the top five, not including struggling Manchester United. United tend to play better when they are down a few goals early. They may just get that opportunity to be behind early with the Manchester City juggernaut.

EPL BETTING – SUPER PREMIER LEAGUE WEEK 12 MULTI

Time to make some money – here’s our best five tips rolled into one money-making machine.

LEICESTER to beat Burnley
BOURNEMOUTH to beat Newcastle
WATFORD to beat Southampton
LIVERPOOL to beat Fulham
MANCHESTER CITY to beat Manchester Utd

$1 for $16

2018-2019 Premier League Tipping Competition Results

THE GURGLER

2018-2019 Results – 62/110 – 56% – (7 Correct Scores)

Last Week – 6/10 – (0 Correct Scores)

Best – 7/10 Week 1, 3, 4, 7

OPPOSITION

2018-2019 Results – 54/110 – 50%

Week 1 – 6/10 – Week 1 Form from last 5 seasons
Week 2 – 5/10 – Change in Market Value after Transfer Window
Week 3 – 4/10 – Red Cards from last 5 seasons
Week 4 – 7/10 – Form v Post Sir Alex Man Utd
Week 5 – 5/10 – Post International Break Form
Week 6 – 3/10 – Avoiding Russian Spies
Week 7 – 4/10 – Brexit
Week 8 – 6/10 – v Jose Mourinho
Week 9 – 4/10 – Sacked Managers / Tenure
Week 10 – 4/10 – Fighting Managers
Week 11 – 7/10 – v Leicester City

The Big Whinge – NRL Magic Weekend

By

Kaaps Loche

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November 5, 2018

1

When the talk surfaced of an NRL Magic Weekend in Australia, we got excited, and it was something that said should have been done on numerous occasions on this website.

But then the NRL unveiled the 2019 NRL Draw, and the disappointment started.

Much to our disbelief, the NRL Magic Weekend will be played out over four days. Which is stupid really.

Funny is that when the NRL floated the idea of the NRL Magic Weekend earlier this year, they said it would be over three days. Obviously they had nine reasons to change their mind. Jerks.

Should we be surprised? Of course not.

And it is really our fault for getting the hopes up, having seen the NRL stuff most things up this year.

It should be no coincidence that the NRL Magic Weekend is in Round Nine next year. A subtle f— you to NRL fans as the true power of running rugby league is revealed. Channel Nein.

Obviously, very few in the planning stage at the NRL or their bosses Channel Nein have enjoyed a Magic Weekend in the UK.

The Magic Weekend was one of our better experiences on one of our UK adventures, and it works as it more of a carnival of rugby league than a drawn out four day stretch.

Both days were full of rugby league, chanting fans, and some great rugby league. All of it during the day.

Sure it worked because the hours were longer in the upper northern hemisphere, but they also didn’t pander for the broadcasters usual timeslots. Watching three/four games in a row feels like such a better day out sunning yourself in the stand.

It also worked because it was in a different place than usual. Edinburgh, Newcastle, Cardiff have all been used, none of them are regular rugby league venues.

Fans from every club filled the local watering holes, and many a rugby league discussion was had.

There’s even talk of taking it to New York. Forward thinkers those administrators in England. Unlike our muppets.

Another thing that made it work was having decent head to heads too. Making most games a mouth-watering affair.

But mainly it worked because of being spread over just the two days. Not four, and not at night time.

Yes, Channel Nein as the FTA broadcaster have their shareholders to think of, but for once can’t they look after the game. Surely a compromise could have been reached where Channel Nein and Fox League could have shared all the games, as long as they were on Saturday/Sunday.

People would get over a lack of Thursday/Friday night football for such an exciting new thing.

But no, all we basically have is an ordinary NRL round just played at the same ground. There’s no carnival atmosphere, there’s nothing really that special with the game allocations, or the timeslot. Essentially you’ll probably be paying twice your monthly Fox League subscription to get the same experience as watching Super Saturday at home. And you’ll have to double that to pay for anything refreshing.

We admire anyone who will show up for all four days, but why should they have to.

Who the bloody hell is going to watch a one-off Thursday night game between the Titans and Sharks on the Thursday night? Will they even get 10,000? Probably not. And what a pisspoor look to start off the NRL Magic Weekend. A game played in a mostly empty stadium with no atmosphere.

As long as you keep Channel Nein happy.

So let’s see how the 2019 NRL Magic Weekend goes. It was a great idea, stolen from a better run sporting governing body that the NRL have stuffed up.

A shame, it could have been something.

Champions League Matchday 4 Predictions – Gurgler v Most Valuable Football Club

By

Theydon Bois

-

November 5, 2018

1

The Champions League returns this week, and like most football we just can’t get enough and have our Champions League Matchday 4 Predictions ready.

And as ever we put our tips up against a unique opponent, usually based on a football statistic but sometimes not, much like our semi popular Premier League tips.

We’ll also throw in a minimum of information for a quick preview of Champions League Matchday 4 Predictions for those on the go.

Time to set the alarm and get up that little bit early in Australia, or get home early from work/the pub elsewhere in the world for Champions League Matchday 4 Predictions .

Champions League Matchday 4 Predictions

Gurgler v Most Valuable Football Clubs

Opponent Tips Background: The big story in the Champions League realm is the leaked report of a breakaway European League, featuring only the best and biggest clubs.

So since only the rich clubs matter in the eyes of that, we’ll create some tips based on which club is the better financial club.

We found a very useful and interesting read by KPMG – so we have used these figures to determine who the Best Financial Champions League Club would be.

The bigger the value, that team gets the tip. If not in the top 32 as designated by KPMG, then they are automatically the losers in the eyes of the breakaway league, unless they both are which is a draw.

The Gurgler’s selections are based on a mixture of listening to multiple podcasts and reading way too many websites, added with ignorance to all of that with our own thoughts.

Champions League Matchday 4 Predictions – Our Tips

DRAW – Monaco v Club Bruges
DRAW – Atletico Madrid v Borussia Dortmund
INTER to beat Barcelona
SPURS to beat PSV
LIVERPOOL to beat Red Star Belgrade
NAPOLI to beat PSG
GALATASARAY to beat Schalke
PORTO to beat Lokomotiv Moscow

BAYERN MUNICH to beat AEK Athens
AJAX to beat Benfica
MANCHESTER CITY to beat Shakhtar Donetsk
LYON to beat Hoffenheim
DRAW – CSKA Moscow v Roma
REAL MADRID to beat Viktoria Plzen
VALENCIA to beat Young Boys
JUVENTUS to beat Manchester United

Champions League Matchday 4 Predictions – Most Valuable Clubs in Europe

Team ranking in brackets

MONACO (30th) to beat Club Bruges (-)
BORUSSIA DORTMUND (12th) to beat Atletico Madrid (13th)
BARCELONA (3rd) to beat Inter (20th)
SPURS (10th) to beat PSV (-)
LIVERPOOL (8th) to beat Red Star Belgrade (-)
PSG (11th) to beat Napoli (17th)
SCHALKE (14th) to beat Galatasaray (25th)
DRAW – Porto (-) v Lokomotiv Moscow (-)

BAYERN MUNICH (4th) to beat AEK Athens (-)
BENFICA (26th) to beat Ajax (29th)
MANCHESTER CITY (5th) to beat Shakhtar Donetsk (-)
LYON (22nd) to beat Hoffenheimn (-)
ROMA (21st) to beat CSKA Moscow (-)
REAL MADRID (2nd) to beat Viktoria Plzen (-)
VALENCIA (32nd) to beat Young Boys (-)
MANCHESTER UTD (1st) to beat Juventus (9th)

Slightly interesting: 11 of the Top 32 are not in this year’s Champions League.

Five are from England, and two each from Spain, Italy and Turkey.

Champions League Predictions Form So Far

GURGLER
Matchday 1 – 6/16 – Terrible
Matchday 2 – 10/16 – Better
Matchday 3 – 9/16 – Less Better

OPPONENT
Matchday 1 – 6/16 – Current League Position
Matchday 2 – 6/16 – National Titles Won
Matchday 3 – 9/16 – Who Scored Team Rating

Champions League Matchday 4 – Four Games to Watch

You can’t watch everything, well actually you can if you have Optus Sport and no job or life, so we select our four games to watch for the Champions League Matchday 4 ahead.

Times in ADST for the poor souls who have to get up early.

ATLETICO MADRID v BORUSSIA DORTMUND (Tuesday)

Dortmund gave Atletico a 4-0 hiding last time out, and that surely won’t happen again. But Dortmund remain one of the most entertaining teams in Europe. Atletico one of the toughest.

INTER MILAN v BARCELONA (Tuesday)

This game is so big that even Messi is coming back from quickly from a broken arm. It looms as their biggest test of the Group Stages. Inter have now won seven straight games in Serie A and are on the heels of Juventus in second.

NAPOLI v PSG (Tuesday)

PSG, despite their superstar forwards, are in danger of a disappointing Champions League exit much earlier than usual. Especially if they lose here. They may still be 100% in Ligue 1, breaking a big 5 European record, but it is the Champions League they want. Hard gig, Napoli have a better home record than Juventus.

JUVENTUS v MANCHESTER UNITED (Wednesday)

Juventus made Manchester United look pretty silly last time out at Old Trafford, and now face them in Italy. With protagonists like Jose Mourinho and Cristiano Ronaldo, there’s likely to be action on and off the field.

Champions League Matchday 4 – Quick Hits

Can Thierry Henry get his first win as boss of Monaco?
After Manchester City’s awesome recent form, one wonders just how many many more than the three they won by in this previous leg.
Real Madrid were very lucky to beat Viktoria Plzen at home last time out. A new coach should get them over the away trip, but anything else proves the level of rot at Real.

How to Watch Champions League in Australia

Sadly the Champions League action is now on Optus Sport.

Not that the Optus Sport coverage is that bad, when it works, but it just means another $15 a month to follow decent football.

Perhaps the addition of the Champions League might tempt some to join, it means you can watch everything and EPL.

Note: we aren’t paid or are receiving Optus for free, it is quality coverage, but are quite happy to receive it for nothing if they offer.

The Gurgler Melbourne Cup Exotic Super Mega Pie-Fecta

By

Kaaps Loche

-

November 4, 2018

1

melbourne cup exotic super mega pie-fecta

The biggest betting race of the year is here and despite telling you that we are one kind of tipster to avoid for the Melbourne Cup, we offer up our Melbourne Cup Exotic Super Mega Pie-Fecta.

What is a Super Mega Pie-Fecta? Well that’s when we try to pick the entire Melbourne Cup field in order.

Absurd you say? Of course. So is trying to pick just the winner. Or let us pick you one with our Select-O-Matic.

Despite being the worst value betting event in the world, at least 20 million Australia who have a bet or have bets put on their behalf on the first Tuesday of November. Worse value being that tightarse TABs only pay 3 places in a 2 mile event with 24 horses. Greedy ducks.

We are even more stupid try to pick every single runner in order. Why wouldn’t you.

We did this two years ago, and thankfully very few read that which allowed us to reuse the most of the parts of the same article without anyone knowing, and anyone calling our mediocre result.

Enough of the past, onto our Melbourne Cup Exotic Super Mega Pie-Fecta for this year.

We’ve largely missed the Spring Carnival this year, and when we say largely we mean almost completely. We caught the replay of the Cox Plate. And we know the winner of the Caulfield Cup. And someone we knew bet on the Geelong Cup. That’s loads of study, isn’t it?

Armed with that dangerous amount of knowledge, combined with perusing the Sportsbet website on the train ride home which was on time and staffed (an achievement in itself in Brisbane), we present our Melbourne Cup 2016 Tips.

But instead of taking it easy and providing a few popular horses, we intend to pick all 24 horses in order. We call it a Piefecta. (After a Four and Twenty Pie)

The Gurgler Melbourne Cup Exotic Super Mega Pie-Fecta

Add your top 24 in the comments section, 1 point per place off your tip, fewest points wins.

Tip	Horse
1	THE CLIFFSOFMOHER
2	MAGIC CIRCLE
3	FINCHE
4	CROSS COUNTER
5	RED CARDINAL
6	YUCATAN
7	SOUND CHECK
8	MUNTAHAA
9	A PRINCE OF ARRAN
10	RUNAWAY
11	BEST SOLUTION
12	MARMELO
13	AVILIUS
14	YOUNGSTAR
15	ROSTROPOVICH
16	SIR CHARLES ROAD
17	VENTURA STORM
18	ZACADA
19	ACE HIGH
20	WHO SHOT THEBARMAN
21	CHESTNUT COAT
22	NAKEETA
23	VENGEUR MASQUE
24	AUVRAY

Celebrate National Pretend to Know Something About Melbourne Cup Tipping Week

By

Max Layne

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November 4, 2018

1

Spring Carnival is well underway, and the four-day Flemington Carnival is ready to kick off, so what better time to Celebrate National Pretend to Know Something About Melbourne Cup Tipping Week.

It’s that time of the year when many a person tunes into Horse Racing and try to convince their friends and family they know something about Melbourne Cup Tipping.

Similar to the time where people pretend to care/know about the Sydney to Hobart yacht race, or politics on Election night with Antony Green, some become unbearable around this time of year.

Someone knows a person, who knows this, who listened to that and so on.

It’s that level of detail we are celebrating with National Pretend to Know Something About Melbourne Cup Tipping Week.

The Pretend to Know Something About Melbourne Cup Week Types to be Wary Of

Here we list the type of individual you will come across this week, and avoid, before the Melbourne Cup

THE EVERY SATURDAY MELBOURNE CUP CYNIC

This is the person who frequents the TAB or nearest pub every Saturdays, riding the weekly wins and losses and has no time for once a year blow ins. They will probably give you lecture about how the Melbourne Cup betting is the hardest race of the year, and a complete waste of time. This is before going into a diatribe about how they clog up the TAB on Tuesday when they are trying to get a bet on for regional Victoria.

Eventually when the ranting stops, they will give you a tip like they don’t really care, but they secretly do.

THE SKY CHANNEL DEVOTEE

This is similar to the person above, but much more positive. Unfortunately they will go into the minute detail about overseas form comparison, track bias, trial times, and jockey strike rates at track and distance. Five minutes later they will be telling you how great Tony Brassall is, and weighing up the best horse race callers in the land.

If you have the time to listen then help yourself, if not avoid.

THE BLACK BOOKER

Following on from the Sky Channel Devotee, this type of Melbourne Cup betting expert is still more pleasant than the Every Saturday Cynic, but is not to be trusted like the Sky Channel Devotee.

The Black Booker will watch about 15 minutes of Sky Channel, catch a little of TAB radio in the drive to work, and glance through the sweeps guide in the local paper. That collective 30 minutes of listening to other opinions leads him to pick the most convincing of the recommendations and give them to everyone who will listen.

How do you them apart from the Sky Channel Devotee? Ask about track bias, or name all three previous runs of the horse they tip.

THE LUCKY OMEN TIPSTER

These tips should be taken with a grain of salt, however they are the most entertaining of all the Melbourne Cup betting “experts”.

While they may not have any science behind the tip, the story or omen is usually entertaining, and worth a listen.

If you like them.

And it is worth throwing their tip into a trifecta too. Just in case.

THE HORSE RACING IS EVIL AND SHOULD BE BANNED (IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG)

This is a person to avoid, as they have no interest in the Melbourne Cup and Melbourne Cup betting, usually.

It probably won’t stop them going to the races, getting shitfaced, and putting a bet on anyway, and telling you excitedly about their $1 each way on the favourite.

But.

If something should go wrong, which happens in horse racing from time to time, they will be on the socials spouting about the evils of horse racing, and how it should be banned, and they’ll never get interested in the Melbourne Cup betting again.

Until next November.

THE WEDNESDAY EXPERT

You only have to avoid this jerk after the race. They will be the one who said you should have bet on that horse. Despite not investing anything themselves.

Jerks.

A CRAPPY WEBSITE TRYING TO BE CLEVER

In that spirit of course, and displaying complete hypocrisy, we will also pretend we know something about horse racing, as we present a few accompanying articles.

First of all we offer up our Select-O-Matic Melbourne Cup Random Horse Selector.

This is where you can take the guesswork out of the Melbourne Cup, and let our personality quiz select your horse for you.

The Gurgler Melbourne Cup Token Bet Select-O-Matic.

Then there’s our absurd attempt to pick the entire Melboutne Cup in order.

The Gurgler Melbourne Cup 2018 Super Mega Pie-Fecta

All of this proves we are worthy of participating in National Pretend to Know Something About Melbourne Cup Week.

Enjoy your Tuesday. The glorious half day off around the country.

Melbourne Cup Mystery Bet Select-O-Matic 3000

By

Kaaps Loche

-

November 4, 2018

1

Melbourne Cup Mystery Bet Select-O-Matic 3000

It’s that time of year where a lot of people quickly care about the Melbourne Cup and then forget about it again, but everyone needs to find a winner, so we introduce our Melbourne Cup Mystery Bet Select-O-Matic 3000.

There are many ways to find a winner for the Melbourne Cup.

You could ask your friend whose Saturday habitat is usually one of the locals pubs or TABs. They will probably tell you that the Melbourne Cup is the hardest race to pick all year, and they don’t know why people bother or get so excited. Before giving you a selection that invariably stinks.

You could read the local newspapers in your city/town, but as most of them are News Ltd it’s hard to know if there is a conspiracy behind their tips with an association with a gambling company pressuring them to sway punters a certain way.

Buying a Best Bets or Racing paper is an alternative option. But a long, boring one.

There’s always googling Melbourne Cup and finding a host of fine racing website that are affiliated with anyone. You’ll only need them once a year.

The ultimate copout is going to a TAB and putting on $50 worth of Melbourne Cup Mystery Bet Trifectas. Sometimes effective, and certainly gets our tick for minimum effort. But you have no way to choose.

So how can you have the lack of effort of a Melbourne Cup Mystery Bet with the addition of having some influence of your selection?

The answer is simple…

Try our Melbourne Cup Mystery Bet Select-O-Matic 3000.

We hand pick some relevant ways of picking a Melbourne Cup winner – Form, Barrier, Age and mix it with some fluffier methods – Colour of Silks, Pattern, Name and roll them into one big personality quiz.

After answering nine questions only, the Melbourne Cup Mystery Bet Select-O-Matic 3000 will then return the name of the horse that you must back for the 2018 Melbourne Cup, based on your preferences and our super computer.

Don’t delay, you selection for the Melbourne Cup is only a few clicks away.

Try the Melbourne Cup Mystery Bet Select-O-Matic 3000 NOW

[os-widget path=”/thegurgler/the-gurgler-melbourne-cup-token-bet-select-o-matic-3000″ of=”thegurgler”]

Who Cares EFL Football League Predictions Matchday 16 + Preview

By

Theydon Bois

-

November 2, 2018

0

Who Cares about the English Football League? We do so here is our Who Cares EFL Football League Predictions Matchday 16 & Preview.

Each matchday we will try to bundle up the EFL Football League into a tight package for those who sort of care, but not too much. We care a lot as an Ipswich Town fan, as sad as that is to admit at the moment.

As much as we love the Premier League with our weekly predictions , our first true love is the 72 teams below the big money, hence the effort put in for our Who Cares EFL Football League Predictions Matchday 16 & Preview.

Why do we say a Who Cares preview? Mainly because it is a league often ignored by the sport masses, and our previous weekly previews were literally read by no one, they may not care until promotion season, but we certainly do all season. And we’ve got to be different to the big websites previews.

Of course you could get a better preview elsewhere with more in-depth stats like from Who Scored, but that takes effort, and we’re trying to give just enough information to stay in touch with a minimum of effort.

Who Cares EFL Football League Predictions & Preview Week 16

To kick off our EFL Football League preview we’ll go through the good, bad and ugly of each division, with the barest minimum of stats to help you find a winner or impress a friend.

CHAMPIONSHIP

GOOD WEEK

Middlesbrough knocked off EPL side Crystal Palace in the League Cup midweek, and drew Burton Albion in the Quarter Finals, giving them a great chance at a Semi Final berth.
Birmingham have won four in a row and sit just two points behind fifth now.
Derby County showed some decent form in the League Cup against Chelsea. They look good enough for promotion based on that and recent performances in the Championship.
Norwich are up to fourth with a hat trick of wins, and decent showing in the League Cup. It doesn’t get much worse as an Ipswich Town fan.

BAD WEEK

Ipswich Town. Playing dreadful, dead last and a manager appointment that doesn’t inspire. We’ve already called relegation in our Obituary to their Championship status.
Brentford – three losses in a row, have lost their manager to Aston Villa, and have fewer points than Ipswich in the last seven games.
Sheffield Wednesday have lost three in a row
Reading and Bolton have lost four of their last five. At least Reading have a win as their point(s) of difference.

TOP 4 WHO CARES FOOTBALL LEAGUE PREDICTIONS MATCHDAY 16 – CHAMPIONSHIP

ASTON VILLA to beat Bolton
OVER 2.5 GOALS – Nottingham Forest v Sheffield Utd
MILLWALL to beat Brentford
WEST BROM to beat Hull City

$1 for $21

[soccer-info id=’20’ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,G,P’ highlight=’685||Ipswich Town’ title=’CURRENT CHAMPIONSHIP TABLE’ /]

LEAGUE ONE

GOOD WEEK

Burton Albion – for their League Cup win over Nottingham Forest and a quarter final berth against Middlesbrough. Could be a winnable game.
Great times for some fallen first division regulars on the way back from the fourth tier and beyond for one – Portsmouth, Luton Town and Coventry. All sit in the top six, and a minimum of four wins in the last six. Coventry has a mere five in a row.
Sunderland are primed to turn things around too, with just one loss in the middle of their 15 game run. They sit third.

BAD WEEK

It’s a bad time to be a AFC Wimbledon and Ipswich Town fan. Wimbledon are now second last and have lost six in a row. The match against Shrewsbury, who are four points above them, is shaping up as must win.
Scunthorpe and Bradford aren’t far behind with five losses and four losses in a row respectively.
Only two losses in a row, but they have hurt Barnsley’s chances of an instant rebound.

TOP 4 WHO CARES FOOTBALL LEAGUE PREDICTIONS MATCHDAY 15 – CHAMPIONSHIP

SOUTHEND to bet Barnsley
PORTSMOUTH to beat Bradford City
AFC WIMBLEDON to beat Shrewsbury
COVENTRY to beat Accrington Stanley

$1 for $33

[soccer-info id=’21’ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,G,P’ highlight=’4593||AFC Wimbledon’ title=’CURRENT LEAGUE ONE TABLE’ /]

LEAGUE TWO

GOOD WEEK

Cambridge United have snuck out of the bottom two with a pair of consecutive wins. Only Northampton and Forest Green Rovers have the same winning run.
Milton Keynes are catching Lincoln, and are just two points away. Five wins before last weekend’s draw is League best current last 6 form.

BAD WEEK

Macclesfield’s celebrations for their first win of the season haven’t last long. They’ve since lost two in a row and sit last. Five points from safety.
Harry Kewell’s Notts County have now lost three in a row and sit just two points from relegation. His old club Crawley are 11th.
Whilst not the worst run, 2 draws and a loss from the last three has seen Lincoln go from unstoppable promotion juggernaut to catchable.

TOP 4 WHO CARES FOOTBALL LEAGUE PREDICTIONS MATCHDAY 15 – CHAMPIONSHIP

EXETER CITY to beat Tranmere Rovers
NORTHAMPTON to beat Crewe
CAMBRIDGE to beat Grimsby
MILTON KEYNES to beat Crawley

$1 for $15

[soccer-info id=’22’ type=’table’ style=’blue_light’ columns=’#,Team,MP,W,D,L,G,P’ title=’CURRENT LEAGUE TWO TABLE’ /]

EFL Football League Predictions Matchday 16 – TV Games & Key Fixtures

Here’s the list of TV Games for those who love their EFL Football League in Australia. This week sees a good top 6 battle and a great local rivalry from the north.

TV GAMES IN BEIN SPORTS – TIMES IN AUST DAYLIGHT SAVINGS

SAT 06:40 AEDT – BEIN SPORTS 2 – ASTON VILLA v BOLTON
SUN 03:25 AEDT – BEIN SPORTS 2 – STOKE v MIDDLESBROUGH
SUN 12:20 AEDT – BEIN SPORTS 2 – ROTHERHAM v SWANSEA (Delyaed)
MON 01:20 AEDT – BEIN SPORTS 2 – WIGAN v LEEDS UTD

David Warner Jerk of the Month – October 2018

By

Kaaps Loche

-

November 2, 2018

0

David Warner Jerk of the Month, again.

This time the combative former Australian cricketer has taken out the October 2018 award for the month’s biggest jerk.

He was a late inclusion after storming off the field due to sledge that crossed the line, apparently.

Seems that the readers of this website felt no sympathy at ll, and why should they?

David Warner is one of the worst behaved cricketers there has been, and so now a little return sledging prompts a walk off.

Most people have taken the walk off as well as his pathetic stage managed sort-of-apology press conference after the ball tampering. People don’t like a sook who can’t endure a taste of their own medicine.

So a thoroughly deserved David Warner Jerk of the Month win for a now double winner for 2018.

OCTOBER 2018 JERK OF THE MONTH – DAVID WARNER

David Warner

Why nominated for the Jerk?

For storming off the field beause of a sledge.

Such hypocracy from one of the worst behaved cricketers of the modern era.

Jerk Rating: 8/10

OCTOBER 2018 JERK OF THE MONTH RESULTS

Here’s how the public voted…

[socialpoll id=”2524711″]

October 2018 Jerk of the Month Other Nominations

Donald Trump

Why nominated for the Jerk?

Standard monthly nomination for the Trump, the list of reasons for nominations – recent and general – are way too many to list here. So we won’t.

Jerk Rating: 10/10

Conor McGregor

Why nominated for the Jerk?

For his part in the recent big Conor McGregor – Khabib Nurmagomedov UFC bout. Before the fight with the antics and afterwards with the all in brawl.

The Irishman in particular has been a world class jerk for many years.

Jerk Rating: x/10

Khabib Nurmagomedov + Crew

Why nominated for the Jerk?

For his part in the recent big Conor McGregor – Khabib Nurmagomedov UFC bout pre match rubbish. And him and his Russian crew with the aftermath of the fight.

Although a nomination for Jerk of the Month could be dicing with trouble with Putin and his crew in his corner.

Jerk Rating: 4/10

Shane Warne

Why nominated for the Jerk?

Did you know Shane Warne has a book out? Did you know he’s part of the new Fox Sports cricket team?

Of course you did, that’s why Australian sporting websites are full of his big, fat opinion.

There’s grudges to settle, opinions to deliver, all to prove that he was/is the greatest of all time.

The worst recent bit was this story about Wimbledon.

He was half the problem of the Channel Nein cricket commentary team. Thankfully the other half of the problem ended up on Channel Seven.

Strap yourself in though, if you like cricket this summer you’ll be hearing more from Shane Warne.

Jerk Rating: 8/10

NRL

Why nominated for the Jerk?

The NRL has been nominated (and won) a lot of times this year for the Jerk of Month, and they have deserved it?

So how can they get a nomination out of NRL season.

Simple.

For not showing the PNG Kumuls v Prime Minister’s XIII match from Port Moresby.

They came up with some pissweak excuse and promises of better next year.

We won’t be holding our breath, waiting for that or any other decent change to happen from the Muppets HQ.

And for the ridiculous nature of player/coach contracts.

Jerk Rating: 8/10

Storms

Why nominated for the Jerk?

For bringing hailnado misery to some, and pea/grape/golf ball/cricket ball sized hail to others every summer.

Although the rain that accompanies it is welcome, so hardly a jerk.

Jerk Rating: 2/10

Alan Jones

Why nominated for the Jerk?

For his involvement in the Sydney Opera House Everest furore.

And just about everything else.

Jerk Rating: 7/10

Andrew Fifita

Why nominated for the Jerk?

The Kyrgios and Tomic of rugby league.

Had a giant sook when not getting enough recognition for his Tonga work. Perhaps if he was a nicer human being he would.

Jerk Rating: 9/10

Liberal / National Party

Why nominated for the Jerk?

Sacking Malcolm Turnbull and then to blame him for the loss in Wentworth by saying he didn’t help campaigning, but was sacked because he wasn’t a great campaigner.

Then Liberal / National Party for their Ok to be White backflip.

Finally someone suggesting to bring back Barnaby Joyce.

Jerk Rating: 8/10

Marsh Brothers

Why nominated for the Jerk?

For continuing to do just enough to get selection into the Australian Cricket team, but not enough to perform to any great standard and feel the love of the Australian cricket public.

Jerk Rating: 2/10

Manly

Why nominated for the Jerk?

For hiring a coach before officially sacking their previous one.

By the sounds of Trent Barrett’s time, it doesn’t sound like a fun place to be.

And they’re Manly.

Jerk Rating: 4/10

Red Bull F1 Team

Why nominated for the Jerk?

For providing a busted arse wheelbarrow of a Red Bull to Dan Ricciardo whilst handing out a perfect piece of machinery for their golden child.

That’s after a history of dudding mark Webber.

Also Renault’s fault too, which makes his move to the works team next year even more worrying.

Jerk Rating: 7/10

THE 2018 JERK OF THE MONTH HONOUR BOARD

All of the below are automatically in the running for Jerk of the Year.

Jan 2018 – David Warner

Feb 2018 – Barnaby Joyce, Anthony Mundine, Bernard Tomic

Mar 2018 – Bernard Tomic

April 2018 – Bill Cosby and MKR

May 2018 – Cricket Australia, Delta Goodrem, Todd Greenberg, Meghan Markle’s Dad

June 2018 – Optus Sport, World Cup Divers & Gus Gould

July 2018 – Neymar, Channel Seven & Todd Greenberg

August 2018 – Peter Dutton

September 2018 – Serena Williams, Phil Rothfield, Strawberry Saboteurs

Gibraltar Football and Ian Kiernan win October 2018 Hero of the Month

By

Kaaps Loche

-

November 1, 2018

1

Clean Up Australia pioneer Ian Kiernan, the one of World Football’s smallest nations – Gibraltar get the nod from our very website as October 2018 Hero of the Month.

One man sailed around the world, and came up with Clean Up Australia, the other only won their first competitive matches.

Both are great, not grape, and both deserve their title of October Jerk of the Month

October 2018 Hero of the Month Winners

IAN KIERNAN

Why such a hero?

Known for convincing people to give up one of their weekend days to clean up crap around Australia. He recently passed away, giving us a reminder of his fine work.

He also set an Australian record for a solo circumnavigation of the world, which gave him the inspiration for the Clean Up.

Hero Factor – 6/10

GIBRALTAR FOOTBALL TEAM

Why such a hero?

Didn’t know Gibraltar had a Football side? Did you know they won their first ever competitive match in October since finally being allowed to be a FIFA nation in 2016.

Gibraltar beat Armenia 1-0 away from home, and after the Armenians played the wrong national anthem at the start. It was their first win in a competitive match. Happily they doubled down a few days later against European powerhouse Liechtenstein. Who says UEFA Nations League D would be boring.

Hero Factor – 6/10

RESULTS – October 2018 Hero of the Month

[socialpoll id=”2524801″]

October 2018 Hero of the Month – Other Nominations

PETER BEATTIE

Why such a hero?

The former Queensland Premier, Commonwealth Games head honcho and current NRL Chairman Peter Beattie gets an unexpected Hero of the Month nomination for his fine work of broadcasting the PNG Kumuls v Prime Minister’s XIII game via his Twitter account when the NRL couldn’t be arsed.

Solid work, and hope for him yet.

Hero Factor – 3/10

USMAN KHAWAJA

Why such a hero?

For showing backbone and scoring plenty of runs in the unlikely draw in the first test against Pakistan in Dubai.

Hero Factor – 6/10

FRIENDLY ANIMALS WHO INVADE FOOTBALL GAMES

Why such a hero?

There’s rarely anything funnier (non Football related) at a Football game than an animal getting into the ground and interupting play. Except for maybe a half time proposal that doesn’t end in Yes.

This month’s nomination comes from a top flight game in Georgia. But is a nomination for all animals in general who feel like stopping a game of football.

Hero Factor – 8/10

KIMI RAIKKONEN

Why such a hero?

Kimi is a lot of people’s favourite F1 driver because he’s different, and he doesn’t appear to take himself too seriously, like most of the others.

The Finn gets a nomination for his drought breaking win in the US Grand Prix, the first in 113 races.

Hero Factor – 10/10

USAIN BOLT

Why such a hero?

For having a go at making the A League and scoring two goals in a trial.

He probably won’t make it but he should. It may make the A League even more exciting than it currently is.

Hero Factor – 6/10