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2018-19 FA Cup 5th Round – A Barely Interesting Preview

By
Theydon Bois
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0

Here is our 2018-19 FA Cup 5th round preview where the competition still has some of the magic left, as most of the big teams have been booted out already.

The FA Cup 5th Round has a great mix of teams, with a few left from Leagues One or Two, half a dozen Championship sides, and seven Premier League sides.

That seven will be at least six in the final eight, as Chelsea take on Manchester United.

Once again Australia doesn’t get to see any of it. Arseholes, anyone involved in that decision.

We have the full  2018-19 FA Cup 5th round Preview with fixtures, barely interesting stats, and a bold prediction for all of the games. Not just those involving Premier League sides like other inferior efforts.

So enjoy our 2018-19 FA Cup 5th round Preview.

 

2018-19 FA Cup 5th Round Preview – Barely Interesting Draw Facts

  • There is still one fourth tier team left – Newport County, who have knocked out Premier League Leicester and Championship side Middlesbrough. 
  • There are two League One teams left, one of them is AFC Wimbledon are dead last in the third division.
  • The games closest in over Football League position is Chelsea v Man Utd (2 places) and Swansea v Brentford (3). The longest gap is obviously Newport v Man City (82 places) then Doncaster v Crystal Palace (37).
  • The game which has the lowest average current league position between the teams is Chelsea v Man Utd (Avg 5th) and Bristol City v Wolves (6). The biggest average of current league position is between last placed AFC Wimbledon and fourth last Millwall.
  • There’s a guaranteed two places for non Premier League sides in the next. Both will probably end up playing Man City and the winner of Man Utd/Chelsea.
  • It is the fewest EPL sides in the FA Cup 6th Round in a decade with seven. Happily for those wanting a potential different winner, it is likely to have just two of the top 6 sides left after FA Cup 5th Round is completed.
  • Here is the full break down of the last decade.
Year EPL Champ L1 L2 NL
2019 7 6 2 1  
2018 10 3 2 1  
2017 8 4 2   2
2016 11 4 1    
2015 10 4 2    
2014 10 5 1    
2013 7 6 2   1
2012 9 5 1 1  
2011 10 2 3   1
2010 9 5 1 1  
2009 10 6      
  •  

 

2018-19 FA Cup 5th round Preview – Match by Match

FRIDAY- Kick Off 7:45pm UK

QPR v WATFORD

H2H All:  QPR 49 Draw 30 Watford 32
H2H FA Cup: Watford 1 QPR 0
Last Round: QPR 2 Portsmouth 0 (Replay) – Newcastle 0 Watford 2

Preview: A nice London derby to kick off the FA Cup 5th round, and it should be keenly contested, and certainly something both teams should take seriously.

Watford are already 8th, and almost at the stage of having enough points to stay up for another season. Another journey to the semi final like in 2016 will go nicely then. 1997 was the last time QPR were at this stage.

QPR have lost their five five league games in a row, conceding 13 goals in the process, so their recent form and lowly 18th place won’t scare Watford at all. Watford have only lost one of the previous seven, and we predict a typical old school Championship performance from Troy Deeney who is due a big game.

Barely Interesting Fact: Troy Deeney scored a goal every second game in his Championship stint with Watford. The game could be a sell out.

Prediction: WATFORD to beat QPR (3-0)

 

SATURDAY – Kick Off 12:30pm UK

BRIGHTON  & HOVE ALBION v DERBY COUNTY

H2H All:  Brighton 15 Draw 7 Derby 20
H2H FA Cup: Brighton 1 Derby 2
Last Round: West Brom 1 Brighton 3 (Replay) – Accrington 0 Derby 1

Preview: Two teams with bigger concerns we think, but that probably won’t stop Derby County (no – it is not always Frank Lampard’s Derby County) from having real go at Brighton.

Brighton are now just three points above relegation, and their enviable home record is starting to evaporate with two losses from three in the league. Survival, and the money that goes with it will be priority. 

That EPL money will also be a priority for Derby County, as they sneak level on points with 6th place Middlesbrough, and the play off places are within reach. Still won’t hurt them to take this competition seriously, and they have been quite competitive with the big EPL in Cups this season. Knocking out Man Utd from the League Cup, and pushing Chelsea in the same competition.

Barely Interesting Fact: Brighton are unbeaten in five games against Derby. (2W 3D)

Prediction: DRAW 1-1 + DERBY to beat Brighton in replay.

 

SATURDAY – Kick Off 3pm UK

AFC WIMBLEDON v MILLWALL

H2H All:  Wimb’don 0 Draw 2 Millwall 2
H2H FA Cup: Millwall 1 Wimb’don 0
Last Round: Wimbledon 4 West Ham 1 – Millwall 3 Everton 2

Preview: The second of two all London derbies, this one south of the river, and with some real working class clubs. 

Both of these sides had wins over Premier League sides last time out, Millwall’s a little controversial over one of the goals. AFC Wimbledon couldn’t have more impressive winning 4-2 over West Ham, a match that belies their dead last position in League one.

Happily this clash means another non Premier League side will make a quarter final appearance.

Barely Interesting Fact: The last season these two teams played in the same division, both games ended up in a draw.

Prediction: AFC WIMBLEDON to win (2-1)

 

SATURDAY – Kick Off 5:30pm UK

NEWPORT COUNTY v MANCHESTER CITY

H2H All:  N/A
H2H FA Cup: N/A
Last Round: Newport 2 M’brough 0 (Replay) – Man City 5 Burnley 0

Preview: Newport County account for another big name, recent former Premier League club Middlesbrough, after knocking out Leicester in the third round. They also pushed Spurs to a replay lin last season’s FA Cup, so it may not be as one sided as people would think.

Except it is Manchester City, no ordinary Premier League side, who have really destroyed teams in the Cup this year. In fact they have scored 28 goals in seven cup games this season. Their FA Cup record this season stands at two wins – 12 goals scored – 0 conceded.

Barely Interesting Fact: Newport haven’t lost against higher placed opposition at home in the FA Cup or the last two seasons. (Incl this one)

Prediction: MAN CITY to win (2-0)

 

SUNDAY – Kick Off 1pm UK

BRISTOL CITY v WOLVES

H2H All:  Bristol 15 Draw 16 Wolves 34
H2H FA Cup: Wolves 1 Bristol C 0
Last Round:  Bristol C 2 Bolton 1 – Wolves 3 Shrewsbury 2 (Replay)

Preview: This is really a competition Wolves should be going all out for. With very teams looking like they can sustain a challenge for the Everton Cup of 7th place in the Premier League, they can afford to have a real go at the competition, starting with this weekend’s FA Cup 5th Round clash with Bristol City.

Wolves have only made it this far in the FA Cup twice since featuring in a Quarter Final in 2003. If they can win this game and avoid the other two big guns of Chelsea/Man Utd and unfairly presuming Man City will win. Bristol City made it to the League semi final last season, but they haven’t been this high in the FA Cup since 2001.

Perhaps Bristol City will have their eye on the league, as they sit in the top six for now, so the chances for a big EPL payday are going to far out-weigh a cup run. But as the girl in the Old El Paso commercial say – why can’t they have both.

Barely Interesting Fact: 9/10 Meetings between these sides has seen three goals or more.

Prediction: DRAW 1-1 + Wolves to win replay.

 

SUNDAY – Kick Off 4pm UK

DONCASTER ROVERS v CRYSTAL PALACE

H2H All:  Doncaster 5 Draw 3 C Palace 8
H2H FA Cup: N/A
Last Round:  Doncaster 2 Oldham 1 – Crystal Palace 2 Spurs 0

Preview: Crystal Palace meet a team two divisions below them, and they will want to be at their best, as Doncaster come into the FA Cup 5th Round clash on the back of being unbeaten in eight game at home, six of them are wins. But crystal Palace have recently been super successful on the road, beating Man City and Wolves, and pushing Liverpool 4-3 at Anfield. Their 1-1 draw with Southampton was a little more underwhelming.

Doncaster last made it this far in the FA Cup in 1956, which was the last of three consecutive seasons. Crystal Palace have only made it to the FA Cup 5th Round and beyond four times this century, but they did make the final thee seasons ago.

Crystal Palace seemed to have turned the corner form wise for the moment. A few months ago you could say this was an excellent chance at an upset.

Barely Interesting Fact: Crystal Palace last beat Doncaster away in 1960, when they were both in the fourth division.

Prediction: CRYSTAL PALACE to win (3-1)

 

SUNDAY – Kick Off 4pm UK

SWANSEA v BRENTFORD

H2H All:  Swansea 31 Draw 22 Brentford 28
H2H FA Cup: Swansea 1 Draw 1 Brentford 0
Last Round:  Swansea 4 Gillingham 1 – Brentford 3 Barnet 1 (Replay)

Preview: An all Championship clash, which is great as is ensure one second tier team will make the last eight. Swansea have made it this far three times in the previous ten FA Cups, last season they made it to the FA Cup 6th round. Brentford last made this stage of the competition in 2006, the second consecutive season the Bees did it from the third tier.

Brentford have just one win and one clean sheet away in the Championship this year. Swansea’s home form is good but not great. They have only failed to score three times at home this season, but have only won 7/16. Pity Brentford aren’t laying at home, as they have the equal best goal difference at home.

Barely Interesting Fact: Swansea are undefeated against Brentford in their last 7 matches. (6W 1D). Swansea have scored two or more goals in eight of the last ten meetings between these sides.

Prediction: SWANSEA to beat Brentford (2-0)

 

MONDAY – Kick Off 7:30pm UK

CHELSEA v MANCHESTER UTD

H2H All:  Chelsea 53 Draw 54 Man Utd 74
H2H FA Cup: Chelsea 5 Draw 2 Man Utd 8
Last Round: Chelsea 3 Sheffield Wed 0 – Arsenal 1 Man Utd 3

Preview: The big clash of the FA Cup 5th Round gets the premium Monday night night slot. Doesn’t matter what time for Australian fans of course, as we don’t get coverage of any games. 

Manchester United have finally lost a game under Ole Gunnar Solskjær after their loss to PSG, so Chelsea is the perfect test to whether the loss was merely a blip or the air is starting to come out of the tyres. We are tipping a narrow Chelsea win, so we think it could be a little more of the latter. Although, in the usual situation of an interim manager, the losses don’t usually come until 2 weeks after they have been signed permanently.

Talking of signing managers permanently, Chelsea boss Sarri is under immense pressure. Chelsea did well enough to beat Malmo in the Europa League on Thursday night, but the scars of the Man City thrashing will still be there. A win against Man Utd will be a good response, and winning the Europa League might save him. Winning the League Cup in the upcoming game against Man City probably won’t.

Barely Interesting Fact: Four of the last five FA Cup clashes between these sides has ended 1-0 to Chelsea.

Prediction: CHELSEA to beat Man Utd (1-0)

Champions League Round 16 Predictions – Gurgler v Europe/League Form

By
Theydon Bois
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0
champions league round 16 predictions

Champions League reaches the knockout stage this week, and as ever, we’ll pretend we know plenty with our Champions League Round 16 Predictions.

And as ever we put our tips up against a unique opponent, usually based on a football statistic but sometimes not, much like our semi popular Premier League tips.

We’ll also throw in a minimum of information for a quick preview of Champions League Round 16 Predictions for those on the go.

So enjoy our plethora of information and Champions League Round 16 Predictions. First leg of the Round 16 clashes anyway.

 

Champions League Round 16 Predictions

Gurgler v Europe/League Form

Opponent Tips Background: 

As we head into the knockout stages of the European Cups, what better time to check to see if some clubs are better in Europe than in the league. 

The answer is, very few.

We have compiled the data which has the average points per game for both Europe and League this season fr each side, and the better than percentage of European points per game compared to the league gets out guest tip. 

Simples.

Champions League Round 16 Predictions – Our Tips

Here’s our fearless predictions based on our study of as much football as possible, podcasts, financial advice, and other avenues worth ignoring.

DRAW – PSG v Manchester Utd (2-2)
PORTO to beat Roma (1-0)
REAL MADRID to beat Ajax (3-1)
BORUSSIA DORTMUND to beat Spurs (2-0)
BARCELONA to beat Lyon (3-1)
DRAW – Bayern v Liverpool (1-1)
MANCHESTER CITY to beat Schalke (3-0)
DRAW – Atletico v Juventus (1-1)

Champions League Round 16 Predictions – Guest Tips – Europe v League Form

Difference in European Form v League in brackets.

Manchester United -15% to beat Paris Saint-Germain -31%
FC Porto 10% to beat Roma -9%
Real Madrid 5% to beat Ajax -20%
Borussia Dortmund -12% to beat Tottenham -42%
Barcelona 3% to beat Lyon -29%
Bayern Munich 11% to beat Liverpool -40%
Schalke 04 67% to beat Manchester City -9%
Atletico Madrid 8% to beat Juventus -27%

 

Champions League Round 16 Fixtures – 1st Leg

Date Time Home Away
Tuesday, Feb 12 20:00 Manchester United Paris Saint-Germain
Tuesday, Feb 12 20:00 Roma FC Porto
Wednesday, Feb 13 20:00 Ajax Real Madrid
Wednesday, Feb 13 20:00 Tottenham Borussia Dortmund
Tuesday, Feb 19 20:00 Lyon Barcelona
Tuesday, Feb 19 20:00 Liverpool Bayern Munich
Wednesday, Feb 20 20:00 Schalke 04 Manchester City
Wednesday, Feb 20 20:00 Atletico Madrid Juventus

 

Champions League Round 16 – Mini Preview

MANCHESTER UTD v PSG
H2H: Never Played

Barely Interesting Facts: Man Utd scored the second fewest goals in the Group stage of the sides who progressed. PSG scored the most goals of the sides left, but also let in the third most goals. Might be a French thing, Lyon were first.

Best Bet: Man Utd to score first

 

ROMA v PORTO
H2H: Roma 0 Draw 1 Porto 1

Barely Interesting Facts: Roma were one of two teams to lose three games and qualify. Liverpool were the other. Porto have conceded the fewest goals of any sides in all the European leagues left in the Champions League. Just over 0.5 goals per game. Porto are the only team to win five games in the group stage.

Best Bet: Under 2.5 Goals

 

AJAX v REAL MADRID
H2H: Ajax 4 Draw 1 Real Madrid 7

Barely Interesting Facts: For the last 5 seasons in meetings between these sides, the team who wins the first game, also wins the second game. Real Madrid have beaten Ajax 4-1 twice in their previous season, and the one before that, Real Madrid won both games 3-0. Ajax are currently scoring at 3.6 goals per game in the league. The best strike rate in Europe.

Best Bet: Over 2.5 Goals

 

SPURS v DORTMUND
H2H: Spurs 2 Dortmund 2

Barely Interesting Facts: Dortmund have conceded just 2 goals in the Group stages, which is the best. German clubs make up three of the top five for defensive displays in the Group stages. Spurs are the only team to progress to the Champions League Round 16 with a negative goal difference.

Best Bet: Over 2.5 Goals

 

LYON v BARCELONA
H2H: Lyon 0 Draw 2 Barcelona 4

Barely Interesting Facts: Lyon 1/4  teams not to lose a game in the Champions League group stages. They drew five times, but their only win came over Manchester City. Lyon have never beaten Barcelona. 
 
Best Bet: Over 2.5 Goals

 

LIVERPOOL v BAYERN MUNICH
H2H: Liverpool 2 Draw 4 Bayern 1

Barely Interesting Facts: Liverpool lost three times as many games as Napoli in the group stages but progressed ahead of the Italian club. They have only lost once in the 26 league games so far. Liverpool might also be leading the way in goals conceded in the league, but are way down in 15th for goals conceded in the group stages (7 v 15 in 26 League matches). Bayern Munich ended up with the equal best goal difference with Manchester City in the Group Stages. Robert Lewandowski scored the most goals in the group stages with eight.

Best Bet: Mo Salah to score anytime

 

SCHALKE v MAN CITY
H2H: Schalke 1 Man City 2

Barely Interesting Facts: Schalke are the team who are ranked the lowest in their respective league competition of the 16 teams left in the Champions League Round 16. It also explains why they have the highest positive differential between League form and European form. Schalke scored the fewest amount of goals for teams that progressed with just six in six. Man City scored the second highest total of goals in the Group Stage, and have the equal best goal difference.

Best Bet: Manchester City to win

 

ATLETICO MADRID v JUVENTUS
H2H: Atletico 4 Draw 1 Juventus 2

Barely Interesting Facts: Surprisingly, given Juventus’ reputation for not conceding and not losing, Juventus lost two games in the Group Stages and let in as many goals as Man Utd. Atletico are one of just six teams to score less than ten goals in the Group Stages. The last time these two sides met, there was just one goal over the two legs.This game has the lowest combined league position figure of all eight game, at just 1.5.

Best Bet: Under 2.5 Goals

 

 

Champions League Round 16 – Three Games to Watch

You can’t watch everything, well actually you can if you have no life, so we select our three games to watch for the Champions League Round 16 ahead.

MANCHESTER UNITED v PSG

A few months ago this looked like a PSG cake walk, now with PSG losing Neymar and Man Utd losing Jose Mourinho, the chances of each side winning have turned dramatically. What looked an easy passage for PSG now looks more like European disappointment. Although, we are yet to see new manager OGS in European comeptitions.

LIVERPOOL v BAYERN MUNICH

Bayern Munich may not be dominating the Budnesliga for a change, but they are still a danger in Europe, and Liverpool’s Europe form this season has been patchy. Salah v Robben will be a good view.

ATLETICO v JUVENTUS

Not every game can be a multi goal thriller, but two of Europe’s best defensive sides will no doubt be locked in a tense struggle for 90 minutes and beyond.

 

 

Champions League Predictions Form So Far

GURGLER
Matchday  1 – 6/16 – Terrible
Matchday 2 – 10/16 – Better
Matchday 3 – 9/16 – Less Better
Matchday 4 – 6/16 – Back to Terrible
Matchday 5 – 9/16 – Improvement
Round 16 – 8/16 – Decent

OPPONENT
Matchday 1 – 6/16 – Current League Position
Matchday 2 – 6/16 – National Titles Won
Matchday 3 – 9/16 – Who Scored Team Rating
Matchday 4 – 8/16 – Value of Clubs
Matchday 5 – 8/16 – Expected Goals
Round 16 – 5/16 – Losing

 

Champions League Round 16 Super Stat

Here is the breakdown of each teams Europe v League performance this season.

Home Europe League Diff
Schalke 04 1.83 1.10 67%
Bayern Munich 2.33 2.10 11%
FC Porto 2.67 2.43 10%
Atletico Madrid 2.17 2.00 8%
Real Madrid 2.00 1.91 5%
Barcelona 2.33 2.27 3%
Manchester City 2.17 2.38 -9%
Roma 1.50 1.65 -9%
Borussia Dortmund 2.17 2.45 -12%
Manchester United 1.67 1.96 -15%
Ajax 2.00 2.50 -20%
Juventus 2.00 2.73 -27%
Lyon 1.33 1.87 -29%
Paris Saint-Germain 1.83 2.67 -31%
Liverpool 1.50 2.48 -40%
Tottenham 1.33 2.28 -42%

NRL | Wooden Spooners – NRL Off Season Filler #1 – Rugby League Cartoon Best XIII

By
Kaaps Loche
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0
rugby league cartoon xiii team

It’s been a long, awful off-season for the NRL, and with the season still a month away it’s a great time for some NRL Off Season filler, starting with our Rugby League Cartoon Best XIII.

Rather than a new picture of a former Rooster on the job, or domestic violence, we’re trying to inject something mildly interesting or amusing into the NRL off-season. And if it fails those categories, at least it is relatively harmless and read by no one.

There’s only so much pre season training and NRL Supercoach boom rookie news you can read waiting for round 1.

For our first attempt we ask the rugby league not many, if any, have ever asked.

Which cartoon characters would make up a great rugby league side?

Curious? Of course you are. So read on for our Rugby League Cartoon Best XIII.

 

The Gurgler’s Rugby League Cartoon Best XIII

1 – FULLBACK – ASTRO BOY

With looks like a young Billy Slater, the robotic boy may be young, but if he’s good enough, he’s old enough.

Pro – With the ability to fly thanks to jet propelled feet, no one is safer under the high ball.
Con – Will be reasonably useless if his jet propelled feet run out of fuel.

2 – WINGER – SPIDERMAN

Cross field kicks for his corner are no problem with the Red masked wonder able to reel in a kick of varying quality with his web shooting hands.

Pro – Can use spider web to make any pass or kick stick.
Con – Will need a closed roof stadium roof to be as effective in attack.

3 – CENTRE – TASMANIAN DEVIL

Hard to defend against, and the best hit and spin in the game. Doesn’t pass the ball often, and when he does is usually pretty wild, but that never hurt Justin Hodges.

Pro – Hit and spin move is the best in the game.
Con – Occasionally loses control and ends up over the sideline. Dangerous offloading.

4 – CENTRE – CAPTAIN CAVEMAN

When not using his club in attack or defence, he can simply yell at defenders to break the line.

Pro – The club is a good option in attack and defense.
Con – His attacking and defensive style lack a little bit of subtlety. And could spend some time out of the team for discipline reasons. Hard to communicate with.

5 – WINGER – ROAD RUNNER

Speed to burn like a feathered Martin Offiah, but enough smarts to outwit any opposition. Especially teams trying to distract by offering plates of free seed.

Pro – Fast and smart.
Con – Ball handling.

6 – FIVE EIGHTH – INSPECTOR GADGET

A five eighth has to be skillful, with plenty of tricks in the bag, and few others can offer up as much as Inspector Gadget can at his best.

Pro – Can use his extendable legs to jump over defensive lines, and the built-in roller skates gives movement like no other. Has so many other gadgets too.
Con – Tends to be clumsy, and usually requires a dog and his niece to assist him.

7 – HALFBACK – ORKO

Like any good halfback is small in size, but the levitating halfback has all the magic of a halfback, with movement second to none in the halves.

Pro – Crafty, hard to tackle because he has no legs, great passing skills, magic.
Con – No Kicking Game

8 – PROP – BEBOP

Rough and ready, forms a menacing partnership with Rocksteady.

Pro – Wild pigs are very hard to handle.
Con – Reasonably thick.

9 – HOOKER – REN HOEK

The smaller, angrier half of the Ren and Stimpy duo makes the cut at number 9. The small chihuahua has all the qualities of a great hooker, and very few throw a better pass from dummy half.

Pro – Small and feisty and great leading others around the park. Easily has 80 minutes in him.
Con – Psychotic, and likely to have discipline issues.

10 – PROP – ROCKSTEADY

The other half of the TMNT front row partnership. Has the best offload of any cartoon character in the world.

Pro – Rhino horns makes him hard to tackle front on.
Con – Not so smart.

11 – SECOND ROW – HE MAN

Big, strong, and powerful, don’t let his perfect man-bob haircut and outfits of leather vests, underpants and knee-high boots, he is the real deal of second rowers.

Pro – Perfect man bob haircut, and best tackling style in cartoon rugby league.
Con – Less effective when not in full buff mode.

12 – SECOND ROW – MAN-AT-ARMS

A throwback to a different era with his moustache and alfoil helmet, he is the cartoon equivalent of Terry Matterson and Gene Miles.

Pro – 80’s Mo bringing back the good old days.
Con – Nothing, even has a great name.

13 – LOCK – HULK

Green and mean, and with a fend that can’t be beat.

Pro – Strong as they come in angry mode.
Con – Too angry?

14 – BENCH – SHREDDER

Almost impossible to tackle with the blades on his arms and legs. Injuries are the main concern, usually caused by tripping on his cape.

Pro – Blades on arms and legs makes him quite painful to tackle.
Con – Blades on arms and legs makes him lose a lot of mobility.

15 – BENCH – FAT ALBERT

No rugby league side, especially a Rugby League Cartoon Best XIII, would be complete without a larger than life lovable character in the vein of George Rose. So we plump for Fat Albert.

Pro – Bit unit, hard to bring down 
Con – Not an 80 minute player.

16 – BENCH – HAGAR THE HORRIBLE

Providing a little more muscle than speed, Hagar’s in your face aggression and horned helmet makes him someone to avoid tackling or being tackled by.

Pro – Aggressive, headgear with horns. Great beard.
Con – Lacking some athleticism for a modern-day forward bench player.

17 – BENCH – DUCK (from Sarah & Duck)

A bench always needs variety and versatility, and who better to bring variety than a duck.

Pro – Can fly.
Con – Poor handling skills.

 

FPL Week 26 – Fantasy Premier League Preview – The Own Goal

By
Theydon Bois
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0

Following on from our semi popular Premier League predictions, we introduce our weekly EPL Fantasy preview – The Own Goal FPL Week 26.

Each week we’ll attempt to give a quick round-up of some of the points of interest in Fantasy Premier League.

We used to do a podcast through our Fantasy United team, but who’s got time for that these days.

So enjoy The Own Goal FPL Week 26 preview. 

Disclaimer: We are Ipswich Town fans, so have no prejudice against any side in this division. Or the next, come August 2019.

 

WHO’S HOT

SERGIO AGUERO  (Last Week 17pts – Form 6.4) scoring early and often. Goals in the first minute of his last two games, a double against Arsenal last week.

EDEN HAZARD (Last Week 15pts – Form 6.0) back in his best position and scores twice accordingly. Will he stay there and the goals continue? With Higuain also scoring, probably yes.

MARCUS RASHFORD (Last Week 7pts – Form 6.0)  Five goals in six games and two assists. Scored again last weekend.

JAMES WARD-PROWSE (Last Week 2pts – Form 7.8) Only two points last week, but he is top of the form charts, and with 29 points in three games before last week.

WOLVES – 10 Goals in three games, with the points being shared among a lot of players. Jota (3 Goals – 2 Assists – Form 7.8), Jimenez (3 Goals – 1 Assist – Form 6.8) , and Moutinho  (5 Assists – Form 7.3) the headliners. Even early season FPL fancy Neves got in the points – one goal and one assist – form 4.0.

HEUNG-MIN SON (Last Week 11pts – Form 5.5) – Back from the Asian Cup, and scores two games in a row. Spurs needing him to though.

 

WHO STINKS

BOURNEMOUTH AWAY – now lost seven in a row on the road. At a rate of 19 Goals conceded and three scored. So avoid Bournemouth players away at all costs right now. Funny, they won the two away games previous to the seven games 3-0 and 4-0..’

EVERTON – have won just three of their last 12, the last couple were away bunnies Bournemouth and poor old Huddersfield. The 3-1 loss to Wolves puts plenty of pressure on the manager and a bunch of players. Richarlisson did score against Huddersfield two games ago, but in the back of the mind is his goal drought last year with Watford which stretched from November until the end of the season.

 

 

FPL WEEK 26 – THE BIG QUICK QUESTIONS

Are Liverpool getting stage fright as the potential title draws near? Draws against Leicester and West Ham have been a set back and FPL point scoring is low. The clean sheets are gone.

Will Man City smell blood and go on all out attack, ending in FPL points for everyone.

Are there any decent January transfers? We discuss that in a few seconds.

Can the Wolves goal scoring machine keep going?

Is there a lower half team about to go on a big point scoring run? We’re looking at Crystal Palace.

Was the Higuain/Hazard bonanza a sign of more to come, or just a one off against weaker opposition?

 

 

FPL WEEK 26 – JANUARY TRANSFERS

The January Transfer window was quieter than it has been in previous seasons, so that makes it easier to limit our list of noteworthy January Transfers to discuss. There’s a couple of potential gems in the batch, others that you wouldn’t select if given a squad of 50 players.

We’ve included a quick form guide of previous seasons for the best ones.

We discussed Gonzalo Higuain last week here.

Michy Batshuayi (Cost 6.5) – Chelsea loan via Valencia to Crystal Palace

If the on loan Chelsea players plays to his best, this could be a really great pickup by Crystal Palace, who are just starting to find the goals and wins at home to go with their decent away form. It’s been pretty slim pickings in the last few season for the Belgian, his only highlight of note being the World Cup moment where he got assaulted by the ball off the post celebrating a goal. At his best French form he scores and assists at will. Crystal Palace are still to play a lot of lower placed teams again.

Season Club Games Goals Assists YC
18/19 Crystal Palace 1 – – –
18/19 Valencia CF 15 1 – 3
17/18 Chelsea FC 12 2 1 –
16/17 Chelsea FC 20 5 1 –
15/16 Marseille 36 17 9 7
14/15 Marseille 26 9 – 1

Verdict: We’re going to take a punt on him.

 

Denis Suarez (Cost 6.5) – Barcelona to Arsenal.

Not quite the Suarez coming to Arsenal after a failed move for Luis a few seasons back, but Denis Suarez is a decent player who struggled to get time at Barcelona. He should fit in at Arsenal if Ozil is being overlooked. His numbers aren’t spectacular, but probably harder to get the ball and do something at Barcelona than elsewhere.

Season Clubs Start Goals Assists Yellows
18/19 FC Barcelona 2 – – –
17/18 FC Barcelona 18 2 2 1
16/17 FC Barcelona 26 1 4 1
15/16 Villarreal / Sevilla 33 4 6 3
14/15 Sevilla FC 31 2 4 2

Verdict: Great name, good player. Thanks, but no thanks.

 

Miguel Almiron (Cost 6.0) – Atlanta United to Newcastle

The MLS star player is already Newcastle’s second most expensive FPL player. And whilst it may be dismissed as lowly MLS, his stats for the previous season are pretty impressive. And if Newcastle have splashed some cash, he must be good.

Season Club Games Goals Assists Yellows
2018 Atlanta United FC 37 13 13 4
2017 Atlanta United FC 30 9 8 4

Verdict: The cost seems a little high, and you are taking it on faith, but we think it’s worth the risk. If you are in the midfield of your FPL table.

 

Ryan Babel (Cost 5.5) – Besiktas to Fulham

A blast from the past who still gets among the goals and assists as below. Whilst his club form below is just in Turkey, he has been in great form for Holland and he’s already doing something good for Fulham. 

but they need more, and so do you if you take him on.

Season Club Games Goals Assists YC
18/19 Fulham FC 3 – 2 2
18/19 Besiktas JK 12 4 1 1
17/18 Besiktas JK 32 13 6 5
16/17 Besiktas JK 18 5 4 2
16/17 Deportivo de La Coruña 11 4 1 3

Verdict: Cheaper than others, but perhaps Fulham’s woes means we won’t see the best of him. Prefer others,

 

Oumar Niasse (Cost 5.0) – Everton to Cardiff

A nice cheap alternative up front, who could be an absolute bargain if he matches his Everton form from last year. Perhaps a change to another blue shirt will help him get back among the points.

Season Club Games Goals Assists YC
18/19 Cardiff City 3 – – –
18/19 Everton FC 8 – – –
17/18 Everton FC 30 8 3 2
16/17 Hull City 17 4 1 3
15/16 Everton FC 11 – –  

Verdict: Good and cheap, but we’re cheap and can’t get past his low stats in the key fields from this season so far. And who knows if he’ll play at Cardiff after Booby Reid’s goals last weekend.

 

Peter Crouch (Cost 4.5) – Stoke to Burnley

A left field January transfer window, and we’ve included his stats in case someone is interested, and he gets a game. 

Season Club Games Goals Assists YC
18/19 Burnley FC 1 – – –
18/19 Stoke City (Champ) 23 1 1 2
17/18 Stoke City 31 5 2 4
16/17 Stoke City 27 7 3 3
15/16 Stoke City 11 – 1 –
14/15 Stoke City 33 8 2 4
13/14 Stoke City 34 7 6 7

Verdict: Good numbers in the EPL with Stoke previously, and value if you need a bench player. Not worth it given his form from the second tier this season. As many Yellow cards as goals/assists.

 

Lazar Markovic (Cost 5.0) – Liverpool to Fulham
Dominic Solanke (Cost 4.7) – Liverpool to Bournemouth
Nathaniel Clyne (Cost 4.4) – Liverpool to Bournemouth

A trio of Liverpool rejects, and all are cheap – for a reason. 

Verdict: Hard to take anyone from Bournemouth given their dreadful away form, but Solanke might start if Wilson continues to be out. Can’t see Markovic getting much of a go around Fulham.

 

 

FPL WEEK 26 – CAPTAIN? MY CAPTAIN?

Mo Salah – is playing two of his best opponents in the next three weeks, and one of his worst. Bournemouth next (5 Goals in 3 Games), followed by Man Utd (0 in 3 Games), Watford (6 Goals – 2 Assists in 3 Games). 

Eden Hazard – it may have only been Huddersfield, but he’s back in his best position, but he grabbed his first goals since Week 19. Two in fact for a 15 point haul.

Marcus Rashford – Man Utd playing Fulham who concede at nearly two goals a game at home, and they beat 4-1 under Jose Mourinho. Rashford has scored in five of his last six games with two assists. The cherry on top is the goal and two assists against Fulham earlier in the season. Before he was given his chance under new management.

Paul Pogba – hasn’t played against Fulham, but the general defensive slackness should help Pogba thrive.

Man City Midfield – all of them are so good, but they are playing Chelsea, and after Leroy Sane wasn’t played at all against Arsenal on the weekend, it is hard to know which one of their stars will play,

Sergio Aguero – Back on the field and back in the goals. Scored 12 times in 16 games v Chelsea.

Heung-min Son – Four goals and three assists against Leicester in five games. He’s Spurs go to man at the moment.

We suggest: Mo Salah or Heung-min Son

 

FPL WEEK 26 – OUR TEAM

You can’t give off tips without putting your money where your mouth is, so our team details are here for your information. Feel free to pick our team apart at your leisure. We used the wildcard this week in honour of Harry Kane’s injury.

FPL – Electric Higuita Exp

 

FPL WEEK 27 – EPL BREAK

The FA Cup fifth round interrupts the Premier League after Week 26, giving players and FPL fans a chance to catch their breath and watch a few more upsets. Could be a good time to assess your side and fire up the Wildcard if you haven’t used it yet. There’s also an international break around the corner in March.

 

FPL WEEK 26 STATS AND STUFF

Here’s some slightly useful information about upcoming games for each team. Who has the most games against the current Top 6 and Bottom 6. Home and Away. Average Opponent League Position.

Following on from that, we have designed a measure to rank each team’s next 6 games in difficulty. Using opposition ranking, points, factoring in home and away fixtures.

With thanks to Transfermarkt for and WhoScored most of the above stats.

fpl 26 home away

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

fpl 26 topbot

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

fpl 26 opp league pos

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

fpl 26 differential

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Premier League Predictions Week 26 – Gurgler v Valentine’s Day

By
Kaaps Loche
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1
premier league predictions week 32

For the 2019-20 season preview for Week 26 – please follow this link.

After an action packed midweek round full of surprises where four of the top six failed to win, there’s even more excitement to come with our Premier League Predictions Week 26.

Every week we offer up our Premier League predictions, along with a mini preview of each match, with a few best bets in an alternative Premier League preview.

We also put our tips up against a competitor, usually not human though, and based on some football stat or general life. This week our tipping opponent is based on how happy each team’s home city is.

It’s a lot like the BBC’s Lawros tips, but better. Arguably.

 

Premier League Predictions Week 26 – Gurgler v Valentine’s Day

TIPS BACKGROUND: The Romantics big day out of the year is just around the corner, so what better excuse to use Valentine’s Day as a way to determine Premier League Predictions Week 26.

How do you use Valentine’s Day for tips? Easy, we found stats on how much people in each city spend on Valentine’s Day in various cities around the UK, and whichever city spends more, the happier they and their partners will be, and that flows onto their team.

Money can’t always buy happiness, but it can buy this week’s tip.

GURGLER PREMIER LEAGUE Predictions Week 26

But first our tips. Based on our opinion, research, study and ignorance. (In no particular order)

MAN UTD to beat Fulham (3-2)
WATFORD to beat Everton (2-1)
CRYSTAL PALACE to beat West Ham (2-0)
ARSENAL to beat Huddersfield (3-0)
LIVERPOOL to beat Bournemouth (4-1)
SOUTHAMPTON to beat Cardiff (1-0)
DRAW – Brighton v Burnley (0-0)
SPURS to beat Leicester (2-1)
MANCHESTER CITY to beat Chelsea (3-2)
WOLVES to beat Newcastle (2-0)

PREMIER LEAGUE Predictions Week 26 – Valentne’s Day Spending in the UK

Average spend per person on Valentine’s Day per City in GBP in brackets.

FULHAM (43.3) to beat Man Utd (41.5)
EVERTON (44.8) to beat Watford (43.3)
DRAW – Crystal Palace (43.3) v West Ham (43.3)
HUDDERSFIELD (46.4) to beat Arsenal (43.3)
LIVERPOOL (44.8) to beat Bournemouth (43.1)
CARDIFF (42.1) to beat Southampton (34.5)
BURNLEY (43.2) to beat Brighton (36.2)
SPURS (43.3) to beat Leicester (38.4)
CHELSEA (43.3) to beat Man City (41.5)
NEWCASTLE (45.5) to beat Wolves (35.2)

Premier League Predictions Week 26 Mini Match by Match Preview

Here’s a quick run down of every game for Week 26, with a barely interesting stat and a best bet included for those inclined.

FULHAM v MANCHESTER UTD

Kick Off: Saturday 12:30pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Man Utd 4 Fulham 1

Manchester United’s unbeaten run stretched to eight games with a tight win over Leicester last weekend, Ole Gunnar Solskjær is talking himself into the Man Utd gig on a full-time basis more each week. Talking of eights, there’s a nice symmetry to Fulham’s last 6 games. Eight points (2W 2D 2L), eight goals scored, eight goals conceded. They are currently seven points from safety, but with their goal difference, it is essentially eight points. It could be double figures by the end of the weekend. The glimmer of hope was the fight back against Brighton last home game. But Brighton are poor away, Man Utd are number one away in the last six.

Barely Interesting Fact: Fulham beat Man Utd twice at home in the 2009 calendar year (2-0, 3-0) but haven’t done that again since.

Best Bet: Over 2.5 Goals @ $1.59

 

WATFORD v EVERTON

Kick Off: Saturday 3pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Everton 2 Watford 2

The Marco Silva derby, where the current Everton manager returns to Watford for the first time since he was let go for being distracted by Everton wile coaching Watford. Of course he ended up there this season and it has sort of worked out for him, and definitely for Richarlisson who followed him. Although Everton will be hoping he doesn’t emulate his dip in goals like last season where he failed to score after November. This is two midfield sides battling it out for the minor spoils of three points and halting a dip in results. More worrying for Marco Silva, whose Everton are less impressed with him. They have lost six from nine and four of six away. Watford aren’t much better, with one win at home in their last six, and one in seven from both. Although there’s been a few draws.

Barely Interesting Fact: Watford have a win percentage of just 25% after January since their return to the Premier League 

Best Bet: Richarlisson to score anytime @ $2.80

 

CRYSTAL PALACE v WEST HAM

Kick Off: Saturday 3pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: West Ham 3 Crystal Palace 2

Both teams come off good results on the weekend, Crystal Palace scoring multiple goals and winning at home, and West Ham avoiding another 4-0 loss to Liverpool with a solid draw at home. Despite losing 13 of their 25 games, Crystal Palace have still managed a healthy nine clean sheets.

West Ham at the other end of the scale have failed to score in 40% of their games. Interesting to watch new recruit Michy Batshuayi in action for the Eagles. Given he looked a certainty to go to West Ham in the transfer window.

Barely Interesting Fact: Crystal Palace have not beaten West Ham since doing the double in 2013-14.

Best Bet: Under 2.5 Goals @ $1.79

 

HUDDERSFIELD v ARSENAL

Kick Off: Saturday 3pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Arsenal 1 Huddersfield 0

Tough for Huddersfield and their new manager – Jan Siewert, beaten 5-0 by Chelsea last weekend, then face Arsenal, then the in-form Wolves. Arsenal were inevitably beaten by Man City last weekend, and their away form must be of concern. Only Huddersfield, Fulham and Bournemouth have taken fewer points in the last six away games.

Arsenal have just two points from their six away. Still they should have the firepower to score against Huddersfield, and despite their defensive worries should contain a side who have scored five time in 13 home matches.

Barely Interesting Fact: Huddersfield are yet to score against Arsenal since their return to the Premier League.

Best Bet: Both Teams to Score – No @ $2.00

 

LIVERPOOL v BOURNEMOUTH

Kick Off: Saturday 3pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Bournemouth 0 Liverpool 4

The big question is are Liverpool choking? Their slight panic at the end of the West Ham game shows signs of worry. They could be seven points ahead but are now just three after draws against Leicester and West Ham, and could be overtaken this midweek by Man City. But they won’t be, as they welcome a team on a losing run away from home of seven games. Only Fulham have conceded more away than Bournemouth, good news for Liverpool to get their spark back.

Liverpool’s once watertight defence has slipped recently, they have conceded in six of their last seven games (eight in total), with just another seven goals conceded in 15 games.

Barely Interesting Fact: Liverpool have won the last three games against Bournemouth 11-0 . But it was a similar recent record v West Ham before Monday’s draw.

Best Bet: Liverpool -1.0 Handicap @ $1.57

 

SOUTHAMPTON v CARDIFF

Kick Off: Saturday 3pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Cardiff 1 Southampton 0

An emotional win for Cardiff last weekend after the loss of their new recruit Emiliano  Sala, and are looking to double up against south coast sides this weekend. Southampton have turned their season around, but they still have the second worst home record with just two wins for the season. Cardiff have half that amount of away wins, and have only scored in six of their 12 away games.

Barely Interesting Fact: Southampton have lost less than half of their games this season despite their lowly position, which is better than eight other teams. It is on the back of a season high 9 draws in 25 games. Next best is Watford on seven. Only Spurs (0), Man City (2) and Bournemouth (3) have drawn fewer games than Cardiff. 

Best Bet: Both sides to score – No @ $1.83

 

BRIGHTON v BURNLEY

Kick Off: Saturday 5:30pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Burnley 1 Brighton 0

Brighton have some very decent home form this year, just three losses against some, but not all of the big six, and they need it as their away form is not good. Without the home form they’d be right in the relegation fight. In saying that, Brighton haven’t scored at home in their last three matches in all comps. As it stands they are now only five points clear of 18th placed Cardiff.

Burnley are the last of the safe sides in 17th, but are unbeaten in six games with three wins and three draws. A loss here for Brighton and a Cardiff win over Southampton could see the Seagulls just three points from danger.

 Barely Interesting Fact: Previous to Burnley’s win earlier in the season, there were five draws in a row between these two sides. Or Burnley haven’t led at half time away this season.

Best Bet: Under 2.5 Goals @ $1.51

 

SPURS v LEICESTER

Kick Off: Sunday 1:30pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Leicester 0 Spurs 2

A match between the unlikely duo fighting for the 2015-16 which infamously went to the Foxes. Spurs have managed to continue to the same heights as expected, and could yet find their way into a title fight. Especially when they get Harry Kane back. In the meantime they hold the quirky record of not drawing a game this season, the record in the Premier League era is three (both Chelsea).

Leicester continue to be unpredictable, fourth last in last six form, which has seen them secure four points away to the Liverpool based sides, lose at home to bottom four sides Southampton and Cardiff and score three goals but still lose at Wolves. Marco Silva’s predictable second half form slip has seen the pressure of Claude Puel as next manager sacked, and surely no one would expect them to beat Sours at Wembley. Which means they probably will. Spurs are sixth in home form this season, Leicester are seventh away,

Barely Interesting Fact: There have been 21 goals in the last four games between these two sides, including 5-4 and 6-1 wins to Spurs.

Best Bet: Leicester +2.0 Handicap @ $1.36

 

MANCHESTER CITY v CHELSEA

Kick Off: Sunday 4pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Chelsea 2 Man City 0

The big name clash of the weekend, and it is delicately poised too, with Chelsea finding their goal scoring form against Huddersfield, with Higuain scoring and Hazard back to his best position, and hence his best form. Sergio Aguero is back playing, and scoring the earliest of goals, he has 12 in 16 games v Chelsea, and with a star-studded midfield where they can’t fit everyone in each week, Man City should win. Especially if they take the temporary lead of the EPL if they beat Everton on Wednesday evening.

Barely Interesting Fact: Man City have just two less goals at home this season (43) than Chelsea have scored in total (45). And six more goals in total than the combined total of goals scored by the bottom three.

Best Bet: First Goalscorer – Sergio Aguero @ $4.20

 

WOLVES v NEWCASTLE

Kick Off: Monday 8pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Newcastle 1 Wolves 2

Premier League Week 26 rounds off in Wolverhampton as in form Wolves look to secure the seventh placed position, all while staying in the FA Cup after winning their replay against Shrewsbury midweek. 7th place and an FA Cup semi/final appearance would be almost as good as the club could hope for. This season. They come into the game on three straight wins in the league, and even more impressive is they are starting to pile on the goals.

Newcastle don’t score quite as easily, in fact they have scored the second fewest goals this season. We can’t wait to see their new recruit Miguel Almiron in action, as the MLS player of the season should bring plenty of goals and assists. And hopefully points for our FPL side.

Barely Interesting Fact: Wolves have scored 10 goals in their last three league games, counting backwards it would have taken Newcastle 11 games to score ten. Only Man City have scored more than Wolves in the last six games.

Best Bet: Wolves to win @ $1.62

 

Premier League Predictions Week 26 – MMMMMulti

Time to make some money – here’s our best five tips rolled into one money-making machine.

CRYSTAL PALACE to beat West Ham
ARSENAL to beat Huddersfield
LIVERPOOL to beat Bournemouth 
DRAW – Brighton v Burnley
WOLVES to beat Newcastle

$1 for $20

 

2018-2019 Premier League Tipping Competition Results

THE GURGLER

2018-2019 Tipping Results – 129/250 – 52% – (14 Correct Scores)

Last Week Tipping Results –  7/10 *
* Man City v Everton result pending

Best – 7/10 Week 1, 3, 4, 7, 15, 25

 

OPPOSITION

2018-2019 Results – 109/240 – 45%

Week 1 – 6/10 – Week 1 Form from last 5 seasons
Week 2 – 5/10 – Change in Market Value after Transfer Window
Week 3 – 4/10 – Red Cards from last 5 seasons
Week 4 – 7/10 – Form v Post Sir Alex Man Utd
Week 5 – 5/10 – Post International Break Form
Week 6 – 3/10 – Avoiding Russian Spies
Week 7 – 4/10 – Brexit
Week 8 – 6/10 – v Jose Mourinho
Week 9 – 4/10 – Sacked Managers / Tenure
Week 10 – 4/10 – Fighting Managers
Week 11 – 7/10 – v Leicester City
Week 12 – 4/10 – US Mid Term Elections
Week 13 – 6/10 – Claudio Ranieri
Week 14 – 5/10 – Own Goals
Week 15 – 5/10 – Midweek Form (Last 5 Seasons)
Week 16 – 2/10 – Hate
Week 17 – 4/10 – Dangerous Nickname
Week 18 – 5/10 – Christmas Shopping
Week 19 – 4/10 – Boxing Day Form
Week 20 – 7/10 – 2018 Form
Week 21 – 1/10 – New Year’s Eve
Week 22 – 7/10 – January Form
Week 23 – 3/10 – Traffic
Week 24 – 2/10 – Post FA Cup 3rd / 4th Round Form
Week 25 – 4/10 – Happiness

 

Try our Fantasy Premier League Preview – The Own Goal

No Surprise Channel Nine Australian Open Tennis Coverage Stunk – The Big Whinge

By
Kaaps Loche
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0
channel nein nrl round 1

The Weekly Gripe – our supposed 7 day moan about anything – returns to discuss the Channel Nine Australian Open tennis coverage. Despite being a week late, it is still fresh enough, with a warning of the upcoming rugby league season starting.

Much to our surprise, there were people who were surprised that the Channel Nine Australian Open tennis coverage wouldn’t be awful.

Their cricket coverage was widely panned as the worst in Australian broadcasting by cricket fans. And indeed the overbearing arrogance and self-love saw the cricket commentary team win the 2016 Jerks of the Year.

Channel Nein’s rugby league coverage sets a new low in quality every year.  And a similarly increasing level of scorn from league fans.

So across many sports with different audiences and different expectations, Channel Nein are still woeful.

It’s not us, it’s you. Trust us.

Was the Channel Nine Australian Open tennis coverage any worse than Channel Seven, after the big swap in the sporting shake up of 2018? Yes, in pure sports broadcasting it was. As for the dreadful cross promote of Channel Seven, Channel Nein wasn’t too bad.

So what were some of their crimes?

Well the first and worst was sending people dressed in wedding gowns to sit in the crowd, the sole purpose of which was to cross promoted their awful, awful show MAFS. Some on social media thought the Channel Nine Australian Open was going all pro same-sex marriage and having a social conscience. 

With Channel Nein and their LCD you should have known better. It was all for their dreadful “social experiment” full of the worst people on earth.

Then there was the now infamous Tony Jones interview. He claims after the massive backlash that he was trying to be funny. Everyone else thought it rubbish and condescending. As per the Channel Nein sporting interview playbook..

Rule 2 (a) of Channel Nein Sports Broadcasting – People are stupid, they don’t want anything in depth from your interview, please tell the audience what we think they want to here rather than potentially giving the viewer what they want. Ensure that there is maximum fluff. Where possible try add humour to cover for actual decent content or a deficit in knowledge.. Be sure to shorten any player’s name over six letter, and lengthen anyone whose names in four letter or fewer. If at all possible, try and desperately get the star to cling to something Australian to justify our place in world sport. 

They cut short a trophy presentation of Sam Stosur’s doubles win to bring you something else. Probably a slow motion montage, or another talking head talking crap.

They couldn’t be arsed showing Serena Williams at one stage, as there were more important games between some players most have never heard of.

And this one, and another one.

Possibly hand picking a few articles with the negativity is a little unfair, but there wasn’t anything to balance against, as very little was written about the good qualities of the Channel Nine Australian Open tennis coverage. That’s the thing with Channel Nein sport, people either suffer it, or suffer it and complain.

And sure, it is easy to grab a few twitter comments, and turn it into a whole article about everyone hating something – the backbone of most of the news.com.au website – but a smallish search will find the same themes of discontent.

At least the Channel Nine Australian Open tennis coverage was democratic, equally awful as their NRL coverage. But sadly the NRL goes for 30 weeks, not two.

Something to look forward to in just over a month’s time. 

Or four months time if you are a Fox Sports snob.

 

 

 

 

Pat Cummins & Air Conditioning win January Hero of the Month 2019

By
admin
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1
hero of the month january 2019

2019’s first heroes of the year have been decided and an Australian Test cricketer who can be relied upon – Pat Cummins – has won this month’s January Jerk of the Month alongside the ever reliable summer companion Air Conditioning.

Air Con, as they prefer to be known, are one of those things you don’t appreciate enough about it is not working.

But our readers do appreciate by voting Air conditioning Hero of the Month.

Pat Cummins has been even more reliable than Air Con this Summer, and a shining light in the Australian Summer of sport. Before we started towelling up Sri Lanka that is.

Below are the voting details, and full run down of the winners of 2019 Hero of the Month.

 

WINNERS – January 2019 Hero of the Month

PAT CUMMINS

Why are they a Hero? 

For single-handedly bringing joy to Australian cricket fans this summer.

If he wasn’t taking wickets and being the most effective bowler in just about every session, he was the only batsman who looked capable of digging in.

The one shining light in what before the recent win against Sri Lanka, has been a very lean summer.

Hero-Meter: 9/10

 

AIR CONDITIONING

Why are they a Hero? 

Summers in Australia are hot, and usually feature the occasional record heat wave.

Without Air Con it would be more insufferable than it currently is.

One of those things you only appreciate when they’re not working.

So we appreciate them with a nomination for January 2019 Hero of the Month, when they are working at their hardest.

Hero-Meter: 10/10

 

January 2019 Hero of the Month – How you voted….

[socialpoll id=”2536406″]

 

 

January 2019 Hero of the Month – Other Nominations

 

KERRY O’KEEFFE

Why are they a Hero? 

For his contributions as part of the new Fox Cricket commentary team.

The humour and underrated analysis is still there from his olden days at ABC Grandstand, but it now is more appreciated as part of the broadcasting changes.

It certainly is a refreshing change from the dross served up by Channel Nein for the last decade and more.

Hero-Meter: 8/10

 

RISBAH PANT 

Why are they a Hero? 

Indian Test Wicketkeper Rishabh Pant looks a great prospect for the Indians, and he looks like a potential great entertainer on and off the field.

On the field, he has broken records as a keeper, and he bats with gusto, averaging around 50 with the bat and a strike rate of 74.

Being a keeper, he was chirpy throughout the test series, and some of his verbal work behind the stumps was quality.

As was the follow-up photo with Tim Paine’s partner under the title of Babysitting, which was at the heart of one of his sledges.

Hero-Meter: 5/10

 

ASH BARTY

Why are they a Hero? 

For doing what most other Australian tennis players can’t do, win and show some heart, and not be a complete jerk.

As some of her male contemporaries pick fights with Davis Cup bosses, Tennis Australia, themselves and each other, Barty kept winning at this year’s Australian Open. The quarter-final loss doesn’t matter, at least there’s someone to cheer for next major.

We like her even more as she had a second career at one stage as a Brisbane Heat player. Nothing like a duel sports star.

So for achievement instead of jerk, Ash Barty get a monthly hero nod.

Hero-Meter: 7/10

 

SANTA CLAUS

Why are they a Hero? 

For another year of super fast, super efficient present delivery.

No one does worldwide logistics like Claus and Co. and we salute the big man, with the big beard and red suit for another year of solid December 24 work.

Hero-Meter: 10/10

 

 

 

 

VOTE NOW – January 2019 Hero of the Month

Choose your January 2019 Hero of the Month. Vote for one – or vote for them all, your choice.

Vote early. Vote often.

[socialpoll id=”2536406″]

 

Tennis Jerks and Channel Seven + Fox Cricket win Jerk of the Month January 2019

By
Perry Thrust
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4
november 2019 jerk of the month

A new year, but nothing surprising as regular jerks Kyrgios and Tomic aka Tennis Jerks and Channel Seven and Fox Cricket (because of Michael Slater) win January 2019 Jerk of the Month.

As it was Australian Open time, in January it was never going to be a surprise to see the Tennis Jerks nominated, and win. They didn’t disappoint either, with a few sprays, a feud with Davis Cup captain Lleyton Hewitt, and yet another pisspoor exit out of major from the actual tennis.

All met with the usual entitled shrug of the shoulders or snarl.

They thoroughly earn their Jerk of the Month win for January 2019.

Also joining the Tennis Jerks is the combination of Channel Seven cricket and Fox Cricket. Why? Michael Slater.

Fox Cricket has been a wonderful sanctuary from the turd that was Channel Nine this cricket season, with the important thing being – No Slats.

So it was to our disgust when during the Big BAsh coverage we could hear Slats ruining another cricket game. Much to our surprise as we were on Fox Cricket. Subsequently it was revealed that Fox League were picking up Channel Seven commentators, and doing their own chat during over change.

Not good enough Fox Cricket. We pay Foxtel for no Slats, and that’s just the he we like it.

No wonder fewer people are tuning in for Big Bash.

And here are the January 2010 Jerk of the Month winners, voting, and nominations.

 

 

January 2019 Jerk of the Month Winners

BERNARD TOMIC

Why nominated for the Jerk?

For more of his usual antics at the Australian Open. 

One of his highlights was a dummy spit over balls and Nick Kyrgios.

Then there was the rants at Davis Cup boss Lleyton Hewitt. Some of that got quite nasty. If only he realised most of Australian don’t want him to represent us either.

It’s past the time when we hope for a turnaround in professionalism and potential being reached. All we care about now is the requisite amount of Jerk to be nominated each month.

Jerk Rating: 10/10

 

NICK KYRGIOS

Why nominated for the Jerk?

One good jerk always deserves another, as the second half of the comedy duo Tennis Jerks Inc. made sure he wouldn’t be without a January 2019 Jerk of the Month nomination, with an Australian Open that failed on court, but delighted us off it.

HE started off the month remarking he couldn’t care less about Tennis, which is always good leading into a major.

Then he joined in the Lleyton Hewitt Davis Cup smack down.

No wonder both he and Bernie won’t get to play Davis Cup next match. Or probably ever again.

Jerk Rating: 10/10

 

CHANNEL 7 / FOX CRICKET

Why nominated for the Jerk?

For Fox Cricket’s simulcast of the Chanel Seven Big Bash coverage, which featured Michael Slater.

That wasn’t part of the deal Fox Cricket. And no Slater was the sole reason we gave the best cricket commentary team to you.

No Slater is good Slater. Don’t do it next season.

Jerk Rating: 7/10

 

 

How You Voted – January 2019 Jerk of the Month

Vote for as many of the this month’s Jerk nominations as you like. They’ve asked for it.

[socialpoll id=”2536226″]

 

 

January 2019 Jerk of the Month – Other Nominations

DONALD TRUMP

Why nominated for the Jerk?

The 2018 Joint Winner of the Jerk of the Year returns to the monthly nominations, leading the way with his shutdown of the US over the Border Wall. 

Whether he is completely at fault for all the politicking of the shutdown, but his behaviour around, and general tweeting keeps him in the running for the first Jerk of the Month award for 2019.

So too does the underlying theme of a child with toys being thrown out of the pram.

His big fat lie when saying he could related to the 100,000’s of workers without pay, tipped him over the edge of Jerk.

Jerk Rating: 10/10

 

WILBUR ROSS

Why nominated for the Jerk?

The Commerce Secretary in the US who couldn’t understand why struggling workers didn’t take a bank loan instead of going to food banks. And for not showing up to their government job, to go to a second job that pays them.

Further digging in this article shows this month wasn’t a one-off either.

Some of his previous Jerk work is:

Showing up to events sporting $500 velvet smoking shoes;

Described the bombing of Syria as “after-dinner entertainment” for the Mar-a-Lago crowd (where he’s naturally a member);

been accused of stealing from his former colleagues

Jerk Rating: 8/10

 

AUSTRALIAN CRICKET TEAM

Why nominated for the Jerk?

For their general lack of fight and performance for most of the summer.

Of course they recently pantsed Sri Lanka at the Gabba, but most of the dross before then deserves a Jerk of the Month collective nomination. Except for one gent who has made our January 2019 Hero of the Month nominations.

Jerk Rating: 3/10

 

AUSTRALIAN CRICKET SELECTORS

Why nominated for the Jerk?

For causing a lot of the trouble for the above nomination, with mixed messages for players, contradictions,  and seemingly strange selections.

They occasionally get it right. But are an easy scapegoat if the don’t.

Jerk Rating: 5/10

 

PABLO CARRENO BUSTA

Why nominated for the Jerk?

He may have apologised for it afterwards, but there is nothing more jerk worthy than a tennis meltdown.

The Spaniard may not have won his important clash, but he did win tantrum of the tournament. A feat in itself at an Australian Open with local favourites always contending.

Jerk Rating: 10/10

 

CHANNEL NEIN

Why nominated for the Jerk?

Proving they are just as bad at broadcasting the Tennis as they were with the cricket or are with the NRL.

#NoToNein

Jerk Rating: 9/10

 

THE FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION

Why nominated for the Jerk?

For having some kind of broadcasting deal that sees Australia go without the third and fourth round of the FA Cup. Two of the best weekends of football of the season.

No wonder the FA Cup is slowly dying.

Jerk Rating: 9/10

 

QLD GOVERNMENT (For Gabba Name Change)

Why nominated for the Jerk?

If it isn’t bad enough we have to see Kate Jones at the unveiling of anything in Queensland, the decision to sell naming rights of the Gabba stinks.

They say the money will be used to fix up the Gabba, and lord knows it needs it.

But to change the name will be the final nail in the coffin of an already soulless venue. It is already bad enough without changing the name. It’s name and names for both ends of the ground ae close to it’s only redeeming feature these days. That and the pool.

Jerk Rating: 7/10

 

FRASER ANNING

Why nominated for the Jerk?

The least elected Australian Politician in history for making tax payers pay for his trip to Melbourne for the far-right rally that led to the Nazi salute making a brief comeback.

Perhaps he should have invoiced the 19 people who voted for him in the Senate election

Jerk Rating: 9/10

 

 

 

 

Premier League Predictions Week 25 – Gurgler v Happiness

By
Theydon Bois
-
5
20-21 Premier League Predictions Week 32 & Stats Preview

The following is for the 2018-19 season – to read this season’s preview please follow this link.

After an action packed midweek round full of surprises where four of the top six failed to win, there’s even more excitement to come with our Premier League Predictions Week 25.

Every week we offer up our Premier League predictions, along with a mini preview of each match, with a few best bets in an alternative Premier League preview.

We also put our tips up against a competitor, usually not human though, and based on some football stat or general life. This week our tipping opponent is based on how happy each team’s home city is.

It’s a lot like the BBC’s Lawros tips, but better. Arguably.

 

Premier League Predictions Week 25 – Gurgler v Happiness

TIPS BACKGROUND: As the football piles up, with games on top of more games, happiness of the city of the team is all important. It gives the players and the team that potential extra burst of energy.

So happily we found an article which lists all of the UK major cities/towns and ranks the happiness of the place.

For the tips, we say the happier the people, the better the team will play, and as such will get the tip.

It is biased against London clubs, as the capital came last in the happiness findings.

As ever, all research is courtesy of Who Scored.

GURGLER PREMIER LEAGUE Predictions Week 25

But first our tips. Based on our opinion, research, study and ignorance. (In no particular order)

SPURS to beat Newcastle (2-0)
DRAW – Brighton v Watford (1-1)
DRAW – Burnley v Southampton (1-1)
CHELSEA to beat Huddersfield (3-0)
FULHAM to beat Crystal Palace (2-1)
DRAW – Everton v Wolves (1-1)
DRAW – Cardiff v Bournemouth (0-0)
MAN UTD to beat Leicester (2-0)
MAN CITY to beat Arsenal (4-2)
LIVERPOOL to beat West Ham (3-0)
DRAW – Everton v Man City (1-1)

PREMIER LEAGUE Predictions Week 25 – Happiness of each City

UK happiness rank in brackets.

NEWCASTLE (4th) to beat Spurs (30th)
BRIGHTON (11th) to beat Watford (30th)
SOUTHAMPTON (16th) to beat Burnley (21st)
HUDDERSFIELD (19th) to beat Chelsea (30th)
DRAW – Crystal Palace (30th) v Fulham (30th)
WOLVES (22nd) to beat Everton (27th)
CARDIFF (8th) to beat Bournemouth (16th)
MAN UTD (21st) to beat Leicester (25th)
MAN CITY (21st) to beat Arsenal (30th)
LIVERPOOL (27th) to beat West Ham (30th)
MAN CITY (21st) to beat Everton (27th)

 

Premier League Predictions Week 25 Mini Match by Match Preview

Here’s a quick run down of every game for Week 25, with a barely interesting stat and a best bet included for those inclined.

SPURS v NEWCASTLE

Kick Off: Saturday 12:30pm UK
Previous 2018-19 Result: Newcastle 1 Spurs 2

A pair of 2-1 wins for these sides midweek, Newcastle’s by far the more impressive as they knocked off Man City, where Spurs came from behind at home to beat Watford. Newcastle have been competitive against the big teams this season, and the win over Man City midweek is culmination of that good form. Spurs were looking down the barrel of a third straight loss in a week,when they were behind Watford midweek, but they rallied to eventually win and console themselves after being knocked out of both cup with in a few days of each other.

Barely Interesting Fact: In the Premier League era, Newcastle have managed at least one win or draw in all but two seasons. Glenn Murray has also scored 30 goals or more in each of the four divisions in England.

 

BRIGHTON v WATFORD

Kick Off: Saturday 3pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Watford 2 Brighton 0

Watford were looking good midweek to continue their unbeaten run to 7 games, and only one loss in 11 games, before Spurs finally beat them late. Still, reasonable form for Watford who have punched above their weight all season. Brighton have certainly done the same at home, with only the very best being able to take all three points from the Amex. Despite blowing their lead against Fulham midweek, good signs with Glenn Murray back scoring. He is slightly more effective at home too (59%of his goals come at home) as are Brighton.

Barely Interesting Fact: Watford have lost as many games Away (3) as Brighton have at home. 

 

BURNLEY v SOUTHAMPTON

Kick Off: Saturday 3pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Southampton 0 Burnley 0

Both teams are coming off midweek draws, Burnley’s by far the most impressive having led Man Utd at Old Trafford, eventually drawing 2-2. Southampton’s 1-1 against Crystal Palace is not to be sneezed at either, as Crystal Palace have taken some much bigger scalps on the road in the past month or so. Burnley are unbeaten in five league games now, and are edging further away from relegation worries. They have also won three of the last four at home. Southampton have won two of their last three away games.

Barely Interesting Fact: Southampton haven’t Burnley at Turf Moor since 2007 in the Championship.

 

CHELSEA v HUDDERSFIELD

Kick Off: Saturday 3pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Huddersfield 0 Chelsea 3

Anyone who saw the 4-0 thrashing by Bournemouth coming, you need to get to know better. Certainly the shock result of the midweek, in a midweek full of surprises. Perhaps Sarri’s method is slowly hurting Chelsea, so they can appoint another Serie A manager in the off season. Talking of Serie A, new recruit Gonzalo Higuain didn’t do a great deal, but then again neither did many others. For a barely interesting fact the record v Bournemouth in last two seasons is wins 4-2, goal difference 6-7. Onto Huddersfield, the lowest scorers in the Premier League, and a team looking at getting that new manager bounce just in time to save their season. Aaron Mooy returning also helps.

Barely Interesting Fact: Despite not scoring in this season’s previous clash, previous to that Huddersfield have scored at least one goal in seven games against Chelsea. Overall, they have only failed to score v Chelsea 10 times in 60 matches.

 

CRYSTAL PALACE v FULHAM

Kick Off: Saturday 3pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Fulham 0 Crystal Palace 2  

An interesting London derby awaits as the second worst side at home plays the worst side away. Both clubs had turning points in the last week, Crystal Palace’s big win over Spurs in the FA Cup will give them confidence at home, and Fulham coming back from 2-0 to win 4-2 could be one of those moments that turns around their otherwise doomed Premier League season. Zaha’s suspension won’t help, although they look less reliant on him recently.

Barely Interesting Fact: Crystal Palace have scored 75% of their season’s goals away from home.

 

EVERTON v WOLVES

Kick Off: Saturday 3pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Wolves 2 Everton 2

Wolves are currently winning the “Everton Cup” race to seventh place, the usual holders right behind them in eighth. Wolves were impressive disposing of West Ham 3-0, making it two wins in a row, Everton snuck past Huddersfield in their midweek clash with 10 men. Despite being separated by just two points, the pressures are very different for these two sides. Everton expect more and are worried about the second half Silva, Wolves on the other hand are on track to be the best promoted side since Newcastle rebounded nicely from their second last relegation. Both teams kicked on after surprising results against lower opposition in the FA Cup. At least Wolves survived with a draw.

Barely Interesting Fact: Five of the last six games between these two sides have been draws.

 

CARDIFF v BOURNEMOUTH

Kick Off: Saturday 5:30pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Bournemouth 2 Cardiff 0

Bournemouth should be coming into this game with a boost of energy after thrashing no less than Chelsea at home 4-0. They’ll need those points given how bad their recent away form is. Bournemouth have lost their last six on the road, conceding six times as many goals as they score (3-18). Cardiff are still dealing with the tragedy of Emiliano Sala, and their once decent home record is slipping too. Where they had won four home games in five recently, they have since managed one draw in their last three. They did well at Arsenal midweek though.

Barely Interesting Fact: There have been two goals or more in all but three of the 42 games between these sides.

 

LEICESTER v MAN UTD

Kick Off: Sunday 2:05pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Man Utd 2 Leicester 1

So the Man Utd winning streak ends, and surprisingly against Burnley at home, which looked a very winnable fixture. Still, they probably would have lost that game under Mourinho, so that’s progress, as was Chelsea losing in the race for fourth place for Utd. Arsenal winning didn’t help. Leicester also drew midweek, and there’s was the more impressive against Liverpool. Leicester sit fifth in fewest goals conceded, although Man Utd have scored 18 more goals in the 24 games so far. Problem is that Leicester are so hard to predict.

Barely Interesting Fact: Leicester’s 5-3 win over Man Utd in their premiership season was the only win over Man Utd between this season and 1998.

 

MAN CITY v ARSENAL

Kick Off: Sunday 4:30pm 
Previous 2018-19 Result: Arsenal 0 Man City 2

The question is, are Man City going to take their frustrating midweek loss out on Arsenal? Quite possibly. Man City peaked early against Newcastle with a super early Aguero goal, but Newcastle’s fight back was impressive, and gives them hope for safety. Man City are now five points behind Liverpool in the title race, Leicester doing them a favour keeping it to less than two games distance. Arsenal did the job midweek against Cardiff, but it is hard to see them winning in Manchester. Although the signing of Denis Suarez will be one to watch in the next few weeks.

Barely Interesting Fact: There have been three or more goals in 11 of the last 14 games between these sides.

 

WEST HAM v LIVERPOOL

Kick Off: Monday 8pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Liverpool 4 West Ham 0)

Liverpool edged one point closer to the title midweek, but will rue the chance to skip more than two games ahead with a seven point gap. Their once watertight defence has now conceded five goals in three games. West Ham haven’t had a great week, being thoroughly outplayed by Wolves in the Premier League, and third tier AFC Wimbledon in the FA Cup. A match against Liverpool, who love to score against West Ham won’t help their cause. Although they have only lost one of their last five at home.

Barely Interesting Fact: Liverpool have scored four goals against West Ham in their last four meetings.

 

EVERTON v MAN CITY

Kick Off: Wednesday 7:45pm
Previous 2018-19 Result: Man City 3 Everton 1

A strange time to have a game, with yet another fixture for these sides who probably have played enough. At least Everton don’t have to worry about European commitments. Or the FA Cup after losing to Millwall. Hard to know what to expect without seeing the weekend’s fixtures, but Everton could sure do their cross park rivals a big favour here with some stolen Man City points.

Barely Interesting Fact: Everton beat Man City at home two seasons ago 4-0. Fancy that.

 

Premier League Predictions Week 25 – MMMMMulti

Time to make some money – here’s our best five tips rolled into one money-making machine.

SPURS to beat Newcastle (2-0)
DRAW – Burnley v Southampton (1-1)
CHELSEA to beat Huddersfield (3-0)
MAN CITY to beat Arsenal (4-2)
LIVERPOOL to beat West Ham (3-0)

$1 for $10

 

2018-2019 Premier League Tipping Competition Results

THE GURGLER

2018-2019 Tipping Results – 122/240 – 50% – (14 Correct Scores)

Last Week Tipping Results –  5/10

Best – 7/10 Week 1, 3, 4, 7, 15

 

OPPOSITION

2018-2019 Results – 109/240 – 45%

Week 1 – 6/10 – Week 1 Form from last 5 seasons
Week 2 – 5/10 – Change in Market Value after Transfer Window
Week 3 – 4/10 – Red Cards from last 5 seasons
Week 4 – 7/10 – Form v Post Sir Alex Man Utd
Week 5 – 5/10 – Post International Break Form
Week 6 – 3/10 – Avoiding Russian Spies
Week 7 – 4/10 – Brexit
Week 8 – 6/10 – v Jose Mourinho
Week 9 – 4/10 – Sacked Managers / Tenure
Week 10 – 4/10 – Fighting Managers
Week 11 – 7/10 – v Leicester City
Week 12 – 4/10 – US Mid Term Elections
Week 13 – 6/10 – Claudio Ranieri
Week 14 – 5/10 – Own Goals
Week 15 – 5/10 – Midweek Form (Last 5 Seasons)
Week 16 – 2/10 – Hate
Week 17 – 4/10 – Dangerous Nickname
Week 18 – 5/10 – Christmas Shopping
Week 19 – 4/10 – Boxing Day Form
Week 20 – 7/10 – 2018 Form
Week 21 – 1/10 – New Year’s Eve
Week 22 – 7/10 – January Form
Week 23 – 3/10 – Traffic
Week 24 – 2/10 – Post FA Cup 3rd / 4th Round Form

 

Try our Fantasy Premier League Preview – The Own Goal

The Gurgler Fixes – Australian Cricket Schedule Alternative

By
Kaaps Loche
-
0

There’s lot of problems with Australian cricket, Test Batsmen can’t score 100’s, One Day cricketers can’t win games, and people are losing interest in the Big Bash, we think it has a lot to do with the Australian Cricket Schedule. And a couple of naughty people who played too much with sandpaper.

But despite the fall in viewers, and crowds of Big Bash games, broadcasters don’t want to change the Australian Cricket Schedule, or at least the volume of matches.

Which is ridiculous really. 

Sure, as broadcasters they have a right to want as many games as possible, but if the product becomes weaker, and fans increasingly disinterested at the game and at home, then you’ve got more games of a weakened product that fewer care about. So the value of your broadcaster is down anyway.

But the Big Bash isn’t the only problem, Australian cricket’s other big problem is Test Cricket, and the lack of Test ready backups if there are a few injuries or people involved in sandpaper modifications.

So we are offering up our Australian Cricket Schedule Alternative for next season and beyond.

 

Australian Cricket Schedule Alternative – Sheffield Shield

A strong Sheffield Shield competition means a strong Australian side, and not just a handful of games in a quasi two game shootout for the scraps in the test squad. Our players, including test stars don’t play enough, with players thrown in after a couple of good scores in one season, and then people wonder why they fail a few innings later.

So what’s our solution? Players like Matt Hayden and Michael Hussey played many seasons of Sheffield Shield before cementing their place in the test squad and Australian cricket folklore.

So what’s our solution for the Australian Cricket Schedule Alternative? Make the players play more Sheffield Shield before the Test season starts.

How can you do that with the international schedule as tight as it is? Easy start the Sheffield Shield in August and finish it in October, so in most seasons the Shield has been won, and selectors have an entire season to choose their next victims.

Under our Australian Cricket Schedule Alternative, matches would be played on Fridays to Mondays, to allow those diehard fans to get to games. Hopefully played at the delightful venues like Allan Border Field, Junction Oval, Drummoyne, North Sydney.

The first fixture would be 2nd August to 5th August. The shield would then carry on for eight weeks until September 20th – 23rd, where the competition would take a two-week break for the AFL and NRL Grand Finals.

After all the fun of the Grand Finals, the Shield would then recommence on the 11 October for round 9, still played over Friday to Monday. Followed by the final round the following Friday. This could be a modern style shoot out, but with a solid backing of 8 previous games.

The final will be played on the 25th October,  by which time in most summers, our Australian Cricket Schedule Alternative would see the entire Sheffield Shield before the first test starts. This means that players could then be picked purely on a long run of form, rather than a spur of the moment big score that has the word “Bolter” thrown around at maximum volume.

 

Australian Cricket Schedule Alternative – Big Bash

This year’s Big Bash has felt like it is dragging, with te sport’s bosses and TV going for quantity over quality. And it appears the people have spoken with the feet, and remotes.

Crowds are down, so are TV ratings. 

It needs to go back to each team playing each other once, alternatively home and away across two years, with one extra game ensuring the derbies are played twice a year. So the two Sydney and Melbourne teams would play each a second time. Perth and Adelaide can get a second bout of their rivalry. Brisbane and Hobart would be left to pair up.

And the games need only be played in the school holidays. Not only would this capture the crowd that seemed to have massive interest in previous years, but it would also limit the competition back to six weeks. With more spaces. 

Quality over quantity may get the swinging voters and cynics back in love with the Big Bash.

This would also include Men and Women teams playing the same days, with the same opponents. The Grand Final ending up as either a double-header for men and women. Or two games in two days, and a decent timeslot for the women.

Although those cynical ones could argue that the interest in Big Bash has gone down with the increase in Michael Slater. We agree.

 

Australian Cricket Schedule Alternative – One Day Competition

The One Day domestic competition has become the biggest joke in the Australian Cricket Schedule Alternative.

It is also the competition that people care about the least.

So our Australian Cricket Schedule Alternative for One Day competition is that the Domestic One Day schedule is split into two.

Each team plays here twice home and away, but the games shared for either side of the Big Bash.

The first half of the fixtures should be played at non capital cities, to share the cricketing love.

The second half is played after the Big Bash, and the final should end up around late February.

This would allow all domestic cricket to be finished before the usual tours of late February or March to kick in.

And all done and dusted before the Australian sporting public head is turned by the arriving football codes.

 

Australian Cricket Schedule Alternative – Overview

SHEFFIELD SHIELD
GW1 Aug 2-5
GW2 Aug 9-12GW1
GW3 Aug 16-19
GW4 Aug 23-26
GW5 Aug 30-Sep3
GW6 Sept 6
GW7 Sept 13-16
GW8 Sept 20-23
GW9 Oct 11-14
GW10 Oct 18-21

FINAL Oct 24-27

 

ONE-DAY DOMESTIC – PART 1

Friday 8th November to 2nd December.

Each team plays each other once for Pt I.

 

BIG BASH

Commences with start of school holidays, and end after each team has played each other twice.

Team only play each side once in a year, Quality over Quantity.

Finals Series as they are now at end of holidays.

Perhaps on something like Australia Day.

 

ONE-DAY DOMESTIC – PART 2

Starts Friday Friday 31st Jan. End 1st March.

Each team plays the alternative fixture to round 1, This time at the proper Test venues.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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