The Gurgler loves a hero, and Grek Norman, and now together at last is the new Gurgler Comic Series featuring Grek Norman taking on some of the world’s biggest problems in the only way Grek Norman can do. By being Grek Norman. Doing Grek Norman things. In the Grek Norman way. This episode sees Grek Norman vs Greenland, as he tries to simmer the worldwide tensions.
WARNING: Adult Themes and/or shirtless golfers…..
Grek Norman Vs Greenland
All images above were created using the technology of Grok and the slightly warped imagination of The Gurgler writing staff, who are frequently locked in a room and told not to come out until they have come up with at least 50 barely interesting stats on a specific sport, or something that makes the Telegram group give Hardy chuckles. G, they are easy to please though. But even if you don’t like the way Twitter, also known as X, is going, you should get into their AI app Grok, which needs a Twitter / X account, and let your imagination run wild. Maybe you could come up with some GreK Norman adventures of your very own to share with family and friend.
If you enjoyed this episode of GreK Norman Vs, and are not worried about our obsession with GreK Norman, especially the fact he is usually presented as shirtless, then why not follow the links to some of our other gear below.
Don’t forget to check out the rest of the website, it’s not all about Greg Norman. We also try to bore everyone to tears with overly long and dull articles with way too many stats for the modern attention short person to care about.
A cross-code football podcast is starting in February and promises insightful analysis from experienced athletes and some light-hearted banter.
Oval Balls will premiere on Thursday February 5 and will feature a former rugby league player (Steven Mullins), a former rugby union player (Matthew Thorton-Bedford), and a former Aussie rules player (Paul Collins).
The first episode will introduce the hosts with their favourite stories, including Steven’s wild stories from his two rugby league Ashes tours (“It got very messy, especially with the Emu boys who were only playing mid-week games”), Matthew’s one game of social mixed netball after he’d retired (“I didn’t know the rules, I hated it, and I wasn’t invited back. I switched to touch footy and then took the first Super Rugby assistant coaching job I could find.”), Paul being kicked out of a junior cricket academy because he wasn’t good enough at cricket (“I loved mixing cricket and Aussie rules as a kid, but I was s**t at cricket and much better at footy.”).
The weekly hour-long episodes will feature 10 minute sections from each host about their respective code, summing up the NRL, Super Rugby/Internationals, and AFL. That will be followed by general discussion and the promised light-hearted banter. The podcast will run until October before their summer break.
“We’re not going to play the ‘My code is better than yours’ game as that can make people very angry, but we’re allowing a little bit of chirping for some light humour,” said producer Charlie. “There’s a lot of specialist football podcasts for each code, so hopefully this gives a point of difference for people who want a bit of everything.”
They say there can only be winners and losers in sport, but of course they’re wrong and they’re fools, there’s always another results, a special one for learned sporting fans – the draw. And who doesn’t love a draw where everyone wins. Those winners include canny punters who look for value, and The Gurgler website is always happy to help with opinion and stats, so welcome to our Football Draws Predictions – 16 January to 19 January 2026.
Our resident draw expert Frankington Stanley runs his keen eye over the many football divisions around the world to find the best draws for you. He’s sort of like the John West of Football draws, he hates Dog Salmon and lop sided fixtures.
Frankington Stanley is not fussy, no country or continent is out of bounds, and the more obscure the better. And some of them are quite obscure. They don’t even feature on the Who Scored website.
So grab an oversized spoon for another weekly serving of the finest Football Draw tips from all over the world, where The Gurgler and Frankington Stanley take the stale out of stalemate.
Football Draws Predictions – Best of the Week
England » Championship – 2025/2026 » Preston v Derby
Kick off:15:00 Sat, 17-Jan-26
Preston have drawn three of their last four home games, which is a good start. Derby drew their second last away game. The last two games between these sides at Preston ended in a draw. Plus, for fans of symmetry, if Derby do draw this game, their season record will be W9 D9 L9 with 35 goals scored and conceded.
Football Draws Predictions – Best of the Rest
England » Premier League – 2025/2026 » Wolves v Newcastle
Kick off:14:00 Sun, 18-Jan-26
There have been five draws in the last seven meeting between these teams at Wolves. All score draws. Wolves have drawn two of their last three games, which is their season best form. Newcastle are pretty ordinary away from home.
England » Championship – 2025/2026 » Sheffield Wednesday v Portsmouth
Kick off:15:00 Sat, 17-Jan-26
The last two games between these sides at Sheffield Wednesday ended even, 1-1 and 3-3. Sheffield Wednesday have yet to win at home this season, and are dead last, so a draw is likely, especially since the last two home games were draws too. Portsmouth aren’t much better away from home with one win. If the game isn’t a draw it should be entertaining with the last five games there between the sides seeing 22 goals in total.
England » League One – 2025/2026 » AFC Wimbledon v Doncaster
Kick off:15:00 Sat, 17-Jan-26
Would you believe that these two teams met twice in 2022 at AFC Wimbledon and the score was 2-2 both times. Amazing.
Spain » LaLiga – 2025/2026 » Getafe v Valencia
Kick off:13:00 Sun, 18-Jan-26
The last game between these sides at Getafe ended in a draw. Valencia are winless away from home so might settle for a draw. Although they probably shouldn’t as they are third last in LA Liga and have already drawn four of their last six games. Getafe have lost their last two games at home, so might settle for a draw.
France » Ligue 1 – 2025/2026 » Monaco v Lorient
Kick off:18:00 Fri, 16-Jan-26
Three of the last four games between these sides at Monaco ended in a draw. Lorient have drawn four of their last six game in Ligue 1. Monaco have been well beaten in three of their last four home games, but the win in that run was a 1-0 win v PSG. So maybe with all that excitement, Monaco will settle for a draw.
Slightly more interesting than a transfer window, standing in as an interim because there’s no one else available, in danger of being sent out on loan, playing in a formation that was unfashionable and illegal 60 years ago, and somehow getting the full support of the Chairman, it’s our 2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 22.
Each gameweek in this 2025-26 Premier League season we offer up a stat filled prediction preview, with some barely interesting stats and visuals, just enough to bluff your way through various tipping competitions or betting shops.
Barely Interesting Stats – 2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 22 – Stats and Thoughts
Help yourself to a buffet of barely interesting stats, quick one liners and more to help pick a winner.
BEST OF WEEK 22 STATS
Only Wolves and West Ham have fewer clean sheets this season than Man Utd.
West Ham have lost all six games this season v London clubs. Burnley have lost all seven. They are the only teams not to have beaten a London club this season.
Against current top six sides Burnley have lost all seven games.
There have been five draws in the last seven meetings between Wolves and Newcastle at Wolves. All score draws.
Aston Villa are unbeaten in their last 13 games v Everton (W9 D4). Everton last beat Aston Villa in 2016.
2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 22
SAT 12:30PM – MAN UTD v MAN CITY
Stats: Man City have won only two of the last 23 matches v Man Utd at Old Trafford on a Saturday going back to 1977 but at least they have won the second last and fourth last game there and then. Man City’s record v big six clubs this season is W2 D2 L1 while Man Utd’s is W2 D1 L2. Man City’s only away game to a big six club ended in a draw. Only Wolves and West Ham have fewer clean sheets this season than Man Utd.
Verdict: Can’t imagine that Man Utd could look any more of a shambles. But a flogging by their Manchester rivals might do so.
Prediction: Man Utd 1 Man City 2
SAT 3PM – SUNDERLAND v CRYSTAL PALACE
Stats: Crystal Palace are unbeaten in their last five trips to Sunderland (W2 D3), prior to that they lost seven of eight trips. Both Sunderland (W1 D4 L2) and Crystal Palace (W1 D4 L3) have won just one game v fellow middle eight sides. Sunderland are unbeaten at home to London clubs (W2 D1).
Verdict: At least Sunderland aren’t from the sixth division.
Prediction: Sunderland 2 Crystal Palace 1
SAT 3PM – TOTTENHAM v WEST HAM
Stats: West Ham have lost all six games this season v London clubs. Burnley have lost all seven. They are the only teams not to have beaten a London club this season. Tottenham’s record isn’t too bad v London clubs W3 D1 L3. Spurs are W3 D1 L3 v current bottom six clubs this season. West Ham are D1 L2 away v big six clubs.
Verdict: With form so bad, this could be the Saturday 3pm game of the week.
Prediction: Tottenham 1 West Ham 0
SAT 3PM – CHELSEA v BRENTFORD
Stats: Brentford have won the last two games v Chelsea at Chelsea on a Saturday. Brentford are equal second in last six form (W4 D2). Brentford are W2 D2 L3 v big six clubs this season, but have lost both of the away games. Chelsea are W3 D3 L1 v London clubs, Brentford are W1 D2 L4.
Verdict: Could be promise in this new manager at Chelsea, for the next few months before he gets sacked. Brentford are flying though with a manager probably very few teams would want.
Prediction: Chelsea 3 Brentford 2
SAT 3PM – LEEDS v FULHAM
Stats: Fulham have won three in a row v Leeds. But Leeds have won the last two home games on a Saturday v Fulham. Fulham are equal second for last six form (W4 D2) and Leeds have drawn four of their last six games.
Verdict: This game should be a lot of fun.
Prediction: Leeds 2 Fulham 2
SAT 3PM – LIVERPOOL v BURNLEY
Stats: Liverpool have won six in a row v Burnley. Going back to 1977, Liverpool have only been beaten once at home by Burnley (W12 D3 L1) but that was the third last meeting in 2021. Ona Saturday at Liverpool, Burnley’s last win was 1962. Burnley are D1 L6 v big six sides this season. Against current top six sides Burnley have lost all seven games. Liverpool are W4 D2 L1 v current bottom six sides.
Verdict: Should be an easy Liverpool but probably won’t be.
Prediction: Liverpool 2 Burnley 1
SAT 5:30PM – NOTTINGHAM FOREST v ARSENAL
Stats: Arsenal have only won once in their last five trips to Nottingham Forest (W1 D1 L3), two of those games were Cup games. Arsenal failed to score in three of those five games, including the last start 0-0 draw. Arsenal have won all six games so far v bottom six sides. Nottingham Forest have a not-too-bad record of W2 D1 L3 v big six clubs this season. It’s W2 L4 v current top six sides.
Verdict: Should be an easy Arsenal win, and probably will be.
Prediction: Nottingham Forest 0 Arsenal 2
SUN 2PM – WOLVES v NEWCASTLE
Stats: Wolves are up to 15th for last six form and equal fourth for last three form. Newcastle are closer to 17th placed Nottingham Forest in 6th than Wolves are sitting last. Newcastle have the Premier League’s longest current winning streak with three wins. Newcastle are unbeaten in their last eight games v Wolves and have won the last four. There have been five draws in the last seven meeting between these teams at Wolves. All score draws.
Verdict: Stats, form and history say Wolves won’t win this. But it doesn’t mean they will lose.
Prediction: Wolves 1 Newcastle 1
SUN 4:30PM – ASTON VILLA v EVERTON
Stats: Aston Villa are unbeaten in their last 13 games v Everton (W9 D4). Everton last beat Aston Villa in 2016. Aston Villa have won the last four games v Everton at home by a combined 12-3. Everton are winless v current top six clubs – D1 L5. Aston Villa are W5 D3 L1 v current middle eight sides.
Verdict: Strange game for a Prime Time Sunday.
Prediction: Aston Villa 3 Everton 0
MONDAY 8PM – BRIGHTON v BOURNEMOUTH
Stats: Brighton have won their last four home games v Bournemouth. Bournemouth have the upper hand for Monday games v Brighton – W5 D1 L1. Bournemouth have a solid W4 D4 L2 record v middle eight sides this season.
Verdict: A game that might be forgotten about being on a Monday.
Prediction: Brighton 2 Bournemouth 0
2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 22
And here are all the tips together in one place for your convenience.
Man Utd 1 Man City 2
Sunderland 2 Crystal Palace 1
Tottenham 1 West Ham 0
Chelsea 3 Brentford 2
Leeds 2 Fulham 2
Liverpool 2 Burnley 1
Nottingham Forest 0 Arsenal 2
Wolves 1 Newcastle 1
Aston Villa 3 Everton 0
Brighton 2 Bournemouth 0
Season Progress
RATING: Barely better than West Ham.
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2025-26 Premier League Season Stats
Each week we’ll bring you some of the choicest cuts of stats we have created from our Data super computer called Jeff.
Nothing says a new year like a fancy new calendar, and nothing says The Gurgler website like the Official 2026 AI Greg Norman Calendar.
Let AI Greg Norman take you through 2026 as only he can, with an amusing, provocative, sensual and all-Australian parade of calendar-worthy images.
So bookmark the page and celebrate each month with our Official 2026 AI Greg Norman Calendar using the Gregarian Calendar.
The Official 2026 AI Greg Norman Calendar
JANUARY – THROW ANOTHER GREG ON THE BARBIE
January means summer, beer and BBQ. So let AI Grek sizzle up the start of 2026 in a delicious way.
FEBRUARY – A CHEP-LOAD OF GREG
Soak up the sun.
MARCH – ART OF GREG
Time to get creative as summer fades away. Let AI Greg take you through a special journey of his favourite artwork, and favourite art subject.
APRIL – EASTER SPECIAL
It’s the holy month, and AI Greg believes.
MAY – ANIMAL APPRECIATION MONTH
AI Greg wouldn’t have made it so big in golf and golf course design without being one with nature. So his 2026 Calendar ensures that one month is dedicated to our animal friends.
JUNE – WORLD CUP FEVER
The biggest sporting event in the world in 2026 will flood our screens, news and social media feeds in June. So why not have an image of AI Greg giving his tribute to the beautiful game.
JULY – JINGLE BELLS – GREGMAS IN JULY
Why should Christmas be once a year, especially when AI Greg has so much merry-ment to go around.
AUGUST – WINTER WONDERLAND
It may be cold outside, but AI Greg warms everyone up with this winter wonder.
SEPTEMBER – FOOTY FEVER
Things get heated on and off the field as the NRL and AFL Finals are here.
OCTOBER – GREGYE – AUSMUSIC MONTH
No one knows how to rock like AI Greg. He’ll take you all the way to the top.
NOVEMBER – INTERPRETATIVE DANCE MONTH
There only one star anyone wants to dance with. And no one moves like AI Greg.
DECEMBER – A MERRY GREGMAS TO ALL
Ho, ho, ho, it’s AI Greg wishing you a Merry Gregmas and Happy New Year to all.
A new year is here, one that should be filled with much sport, early and often, and at this stage of the year there’s more questions than answers available about the sporting year ahead, even with AI, so with that in mind we offer up Captain Hindsight’s Obvious 2026 Sporting Predictions.
With so many other better websites and publications, and News Ltd, rolling out their “bold 2026 sporting predictions, The Gurgler is going down a different path, opting for the sensible know-it-all obviousness of Captain Hindsight to give the obvious sporting predictions in advance, before he would tell you that they were going to happen after the event.
Only Captain Hindsight can deliver the most obvious predictions, using his special 0-0 hindsight in advance powers to deliver opinions and predictions that are so obvious they can be found on breakfast TV shows.
No one does obvious 2026 Sporting Predictions like Captain Hindsight and The Gurgler.
THE NRL BUNKER WILL STUFF UP A CALL WITHIN THE FIRST FOUR WEEKS OF THE COMPETITION
It’s not a matter of if, but when. And when will be early, and then often.
A RUGBY LEAGUE PLAYER WILL BE SORRY TO THEIR TEAM MATES, THEIR CLUB, THEIR FAMILY AND RUGBY LEAGUE ITSELF BEFORE MAY
We can see it now. The press conference in front of the sponsors boards, with as much sorrow on the face of the players as the poor Manager of Social Media for the rugby league club, and the family standing awkwardly off to the side. Thankfully the animal involved isn’t forced to front the media this time, and the giant mascot of the alcohol-based sponsor was told to take the night off. But everyone will be sorry, that’s a Captain Hindsight obvious special.
RICKY STUART WILL GET ANGRY AT SOMETHING
Ricky Stuart aka the Angry Ant (and Carlos Smearson) will blow up at something. Hopefully early in the season, and often.
CANBERRA RAIDERS WILL BE LINKED TO MANY NEW PLAYERS BEFORE THEY MYSTERIOUSLY (NOT) RE-SIGN WITH THEIR CLUB OR ANOTHER CLUB ON MORE MONEY
Maybe it’s players using the Canberra Raisers as a bargaining chip that makes Ricky angry.
FOX SPORTS WEBSITE WILL CONTINUE TO USE PEOPLE’S TWITTER COMMENTS AS ARTICLES
When not bashing the Wests Tigers, discussing Lachlan Galvin, or giving oxygen to Buzz Rothfield, Fox Sports seemed to enjoy using Twitter to write half of the articles. Often the title of the article was a direct quote of one of the tweets.
Which gives hope to our website, which means any old garbage from the internet is basically a part time journalist. Who needs a degree.
Either that or they serve up a transcript of NRL 360 as fresh content.
GUS GOULD WILL EAT A LOT OF CHINESE FOOD
Given a lot of Phil Gould’s recruitment work is done at his famous Chinese Restaurant, we will see a lot of grainy footage, and mentions on NRL 360 about Gould with various players as he tries to build a team to win something while he’s still there.
BIG SCREEN TV RETAILERS, MESSI & RONALDO SHIRTS FROM AMAZON, OBSCURE FOOTBALLING NERDS & GEOGRAPHY BUFFS WILL SEE A SPIKE IN SALES/INTEREST IN JUNE
June sees the World Cup of football land, and it will be the biggest event of that month and the year quite possibly. But it also sees spikes in things you don’t often see. Harvey Norman and friends will be rubbing their hands at the prospect of a World Cup that can’t possibly be viewed on an old two-year-old TV with mediocre quality. And you’ll be surprised and surrounded by footballing nerds all of a sudden. Those that know a Serie A from a League One and a Ligue One. And those that know a Curaçao when they see one and are n’t afraid to Cabo Verde from time to time either.
ENGLAND WILL BE KNOCKED OUT OF THE WORLD CUP IN A PENALTY SHOOT OUT AFTER WEEKS OF SOMETHING OR OTHER COMING HOME
Just the way they like it. And we do.
DONALD TRUMP WILL BE THE MOST ENTERTAINING PUNDIT OF THE WORLD CUP
Following his social media account will be worth the effort.
NEWLY CONVERTED NETFLIX F1 FANS WILL EXPLAIN AT LENGTH TO PEOPLE WHO WATCHED EVERY RACE OF THE 2025 SEASON WHEN IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED JUST BEFORE THE 2026 KICKS OFF
New Netflix F1 fans are great, as it continues to expand the people of possible friends to discuss F1 with. But they do go berserk after the Netflix docu-series is launched just before the new season starts, blissfully unaware that regular F1 fans actually watched races as they happened and already know.
DANICA PATRICK WILL CONTRIBUTE NOTHING
Nothing except eye rolling from fellow commentators, and frantic keyboard tapping on social media around the world. Yet, like British bias, they will persist.
AFL GRAND ENTERTAINMENT WILL BE BETTER THAN THE NRL
Usually is, but no Snoop Dogg this year. Shame. But the combination of their better entertainment and daytime Grand Final in a traditional time slot, with no Channel Nein makes it the premium footy Grand Final in 2026.
AUSTRALIANS WILL ALMOST FORGET ABOUT THE WINTER OLYMPICS UNTIL SOME GUY WITH A NICKNAME THAT ORIGINATES FROM SOME LOCAL PUB IN MORAYFIELD WINS A MEDAL AND THEN EVERYONE LOVES SNOW-BASED EVENTS FOR TWO DAYS
Winter Olympics is usually hyped up by TV broadcasters who are desperately trying to recoup the money spent to host the TV coverage in the hopes that it will outrate Tipping Point – TV’s dullest game show. And it won’t.
AUSTRALIANS WILL ACTUALLY FORGET THE COMMONWEALTH GAMES ARE ON
They sure will. The time zone won’t help, but that’s Dan Andrews’ fault, as this was meant to be in Victoria.
THE NEXT TIME YOU’LL HEAR ABOUT YACHTING WILL BE 26 DECEMBER 2026
The Sydney to Hobart yachting race is an Australian icon sporting event, but that doesn’t mean we need to hear about it before Christmas. It’s essentially a play date for a bunch of rich folk, so nothing that we need to think of for more than a few minutes a year.
Another year of sport awaits, and another year of wild sporting opinion and bold predictions will be served up over the next month or so by so many people, most of them pretenders, one of them a nasty, awful man who pretends to like rugby league, but no one does it better than our resident sporting prediction guru Tipstradamus, and he’s here to offer up this year’s serving of Tipstradamus’ Bold 2026 Sporting Predictions & Tipping Competition.
Our resident sports-sayer Tipstradamus aka Gregstradamus is wheeled out only once a year, from a subterranean abode somewhere in the Great Dividing Range shaped like the Space City Shopping Centre in Kallangur that has a TV room with a 360 degree array of televisions showing only sporting content. But what he lacks in quantity he makes up for with quality, and we’re lucky enough that he found time in between the Ashes, 23 divisions of English and European football, Snooker, Big Bash, NFL but never rugby union to provide his Bold 2026 Sporting Predictions.
But not only is there the finest in 2026 Bold Sporting Predictions, he offers up a chance to beat him at his own game, with the Tipstradamus 16 Sports Tipping Contest. Keep reading until the end to find out more.
Tipstradamus’ Bold 2026 Sporting Predictions
MAX VERSTAPPEN AND GEORGE RUSSELL WILL FIGHT OUT THE MOST BITTER TITLE FIGHT IN YEARS – AND IT WILL END IN FISTICUFFS AT THE QATAR GRAND PRIX
It seems that the new regulations for F1 in 2026 might favour Mercedes and given the form of George Russell in 2025 in an inferior car, he will be one of the big chances for Championship glory in 2026. Also given the Red Bull car in 2025 was barely faster than a wheelbarrow in the hands of non-Verstappen drivers in 2025, yet somehow Max Verstappen came within a brainfade of winning the 2025 title, he will be at the front again in 2026.
It also seems that the two drivers don’t like each other much. Maybe that’s media hype or maybe it is genuine. We boldly predict the latter, and this Championship tussle will be twice as bitter as the Verstappen-Hamilton rivalry of the early 2020’s. There will be clashes and crashes throughout the season, and will culminate in another crash on the first lap of the Qatar Grand Prix, and the two drivers will have had enough of each other by this stage and punch on at the side of the track for the world’s amusement.
LEWIS HAMILTON TO RETIRE FROM FORMULA 1 AT THE BRITISH GRAND PRIX – REPLACED BY OLLIE BEARMAN WHOSE 8-7 CATCH PHRASE GOES AS VIRAL AS 6-7
After a pisspoor 2025, Lewis Hamilton and Ferrari will be under massive pressure to deliver in 2026. Sadly Hamilton will struggle even more as Ferrari get even less competitive. Given he’s done it all, and earned a massive pile of F1 money, he will announce his retirement on the eve of the British Grand Prix and retire after that race, where he will get a solid points finish.
THE SECOND VERSION OF THE F1 MOVIE WILL FEATURE A RECREATION OF THE INFAMOUS NELSON PIQUET – ELISEO SALAZAR FIGHT AT THE 1982 GERMAN GRAND PRIX
The F1 movie was a raging success in 2025, on the back of the world’s growing obsession with Formula 1, and that movie featured a moment from F1 history where Martin Donnelly had a crash where it was hard to believe he would survive. Which begged the question for F1 Movie II, what other moment could they use for the new F1 based movie. Our bold prediction is they will use the infamous fight between Nelson Piquet and Eliseo Salazar from the 1982 German Grand Prix. And for fun, we have a sample of what to look forward to below.
PETER V’LANDYS WILL BAN KICK OFFS, INTRODUCE MAGIC TRIES INSTEAD OF CONVERSIONS, EXTEND THE TACKLE COUNT TO EIGHT, INTRODUCE 50 METRE PENALTIES LIKE THE AFL, AND EXTEND CAPTAIN’S CHALLENGES TO THREE PER HALF IN RESPONSE TO PEOPLE COMPLAINING THE NRL GOES TO SH!T DURING THE ORIGIN PERIOD
Peter V’landys is a pioneer, but he does like to tinker with the game, occasionally for good. But the NRL’s insistence that Origin is not standalone, will be met with the acknowledgment that the NRL does suck during Origin. So PVL being the innovator announces just before Magic Round that the period before the first State of Origin game and after the third State of Origin game will feature new experimental laws for that period only. And then realise it’s easier to have standalone Origin.
GERMANY TO WIN FOOTBALL WORLD CUP
Because they are due, and only a handful of teams ever win the thing. Although it would be funnier if a team that Donald Trump didn’t like won it. But Greenland, Venezuela, Cuba, Heard and McDonald Island and California didn’t make the World Cup.
USA WILL TOP GROUP IN WORLD CUP BUT GET KNOCKED OUT IN FIRST PART OF KNOCKOUT STAGE, AUSTRALIA WON’T WIN A GAME.
Australia are in with the USA in Group D of the World Cup along with Paraguay, and a choice of yet-to-decided Turkey, Slovakia, Kosovo and Romania. With the fear of potential deportation for not making out of the Group Stage, USA will top the group. But although they will play a favourable first game of the knockout against a third place finisher, they will crumble under the pressure and be midnight Truth Social fodder. They will do better than Australia who will get one point from one draw in the group stages. Happy to be wrong. For Australia at least.
DONALD TRUMP TO RECEIVE REPLICA WORLD CUP TROPHY PRIOR TO FINAL
Not content with the FIFA Peace Award, which looks a thoroughly deserving title after events in Venezuela, FIFA’s Gianni Infantino will visit the US President and hand deliver an exact replica of the World Cup trophy before the actual World Cup final is played. Where of course, Mr Trump will be onstage with the winners again.
DONALD TRUMP WILL BE GIVEN AN HONORARY FIRST KICK OF THE WORLD CUP AT THE FIRST GAME, THEN INVADE GREENLAND WHILE THE WORLD IS DISTRACTED BY THE WORLD CUP
Not content with a replica trophy, the US President will get the World Cup started by doing one of those honourary kick offs like the first pitch at a baseball game. Then while the World Cup is in full swing and the world’s media is following the fast-kicking, low-scoring festival, he will proceed to invading Greenland on June 23, the day before Denmark could potentially play Mexico if they qualify through European Playoff Group D.
ALL PREMIER LEAGUE MANAGERS EXCEPT THE WINNER WILL GET FIRED AFTER THE LAST DAY OF THE SEASON LEADING THE PREMIER LEAGUE TO INTRODUCE A MANAGER DRAFT
Were guessing that the UK Government will be leading a crackdown on the amount spent by Football Clubs in England in early 2026, so they will introduce a bill to slow the amount of money spent by fans on tickets, limit teams to only two new kits per season, and limit the payoffs for sacking managers. So the UK government will restrict clubs to one year only contract signings for managers, all of which expire after the season finishes for everyone except the team that wins. This will lead to Sky Sports introducing an NBA style draft for managers and clubs. Which will be charged at a premium for football fans.
THE A LEAGUE WILL ALMOST FOLD BUT WILL BE SAVED BY THE PREMIER LEAGUE WHO WILL TURN IT INTO A PREMIER LEAGUE DOWN UNDER WITH ALL CLUBS ALIGNED TO A BIG PREMIER LEAGUE CLUB
The A League continues to struggle for some clubs financially, and we predict more clubs to struggle leading to an uncertain future for the league itself. A week before the A League goes completely bust, the Premier League will step in and save the day, by creating a Premier League Down Under League. This means current Premier League clubs will align to existing A League clubs. Like Liverpool to Adelaide, West Ham in Perth, Man United in for the Melbourne Victory and Newcastle in, well Newcastle. The new era will take off massively, and might even make the nightly sports news bulletins.
THE AFL WILL SENSATIONALLY GIVE UP ON THE TASMANIAN AFL TEAM IN EARLY 2026 AFTER THE TASMANIAN REFUSE TO BUILD A NEW STADIUM, WHICH RESULT IN A STATEWIDE PROTEST BOYCOTT OF ALL AFL AT ALL LEVELS IN TASMANIA IN 2026, AND THE DECISION BY THE TASMANIAN GOVERNMENT TO NOT BUILD THE STADIUM WHICH CAUSES THE TASMANIAN AFL TEAM TO BE CANNED LEADS TO PROTESTS THROUGHOUT THE STREETS AND AN UPRISING OF THE AFL LOVING TASMANIAN PEOPLE WHO THEN THEN MARCH ON THE TASMANIAN PARLIAMENT AND LEAD COUP TAKING OVER THE GOVERNMENT THEN QUICKLY APPROVING THE NEW STADIUM AND THEN THE AFL REINSTATE THE TASMANIAN AFL TEAM BUT WILL NOW BE CALLED THE REBELS IN DEFERENCE OF THE PEOPLE’S EFFORTS IN OVERTHORWING THE TASMANIAN GOVERNMENT FOR AFL.
So Tasmania will have an AFL team after all.
SOMEONE WILL REMEMBER THE COMMONWEALTH GAMES ARE ON
Hidden away in the sporting treasures of the 2026 Sporting Calendar is the Commonwealth Games. You know, the one that was meant to be in Bendigo and Ballarat but got upgraded to Glasgow. Not that there’s anything wrong with the Olympics Lite, and Australia does win a pile of gold, but it does tend to get forgotten, and the time zone won’t help the interest either.
DONALD TRUMP WILL ENTER THE US OPEN GOLF UNDER A SPECIAL NEW WILDCARD OPEN TO ONLY CERTAIN PEOPLE AND AWAY FROM ANY CAMERAS FOR SECURITY REASONS THE US PRESIDENT HITS THE BEST, NO THE GREATEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL ROUND OF GOLF BY ANY GOLFER AT ANY MAJOR IN THE HISTORY OF GOLF WITH A 28 UNDER PAR ROUND IN THE WARM UP BEFORE THE TOURNAMENT STARTS BUT WILL UNFORTUNATELY SUSTAIN AN INJURY WHICH PREVENTS HIM FROM PLAYING IN ROUND ONE SO CAN’T ACTUALLY PLAY IN THE OFFICIAL US OPEN BUT IS STILL PRESENTED WITH A REPLICA US OPEN TROPHY AND GIVEN A CEREMONY BY GOLF BOSSES AND HIS NAMES WILL BE ETCHED ONTO THE TROPHY ALONGSIDE THE ACUTAL WINNER
He likes golf.
THE GREGSTRADAMUS 2026 SPORTS TIPPING 16 CHALLENGE
Think you can beat Sport’s greatest soothsayer? Then here is the 2026 Tipstradamus aka Gregstradamus 16 Sports Tipping Challenge.
But who wants to pick the obvious, apart from our resident obvious expert Captain Hindsight. We have selected events that will challenge the everyday sporting punter and expert.
16 random sporting events from the year ahead are here.
Leave your tips in the Comments section if you want to take on Gregstradamus.
1 – FORMULA 1 – NUMBER OF Q1 EXITS LANCE STROLL IN 2026 (24 RACES)
2 – FORMULA 1 – NUMBER OF FINISHERS IN OPENING AUSTRALIAN GP (22 CARS)
3 – FORMULA 1 – WINNER OF MONACO GRAND PRIX
4 – FOOTBALL – FINISHING POSITION OF WREXHAM IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP
5 – FOOTBALL – WINNER OF LEAGUE TWO IN UK
6 – FOOTBALL – WINNER OF NATIONAL LEAGUE PREMIER IN UK
7 – FOOTBALL – WORLD CUP – WINNER OF THE 3RD/4TH PLACE PLAYOFF
8 – FOOTBALL – WORLD CUP – WHICH DEBUTANT NATION WILL SCORE MORE POINTS? JORDAN, CAPE VERDE, UZBEKISTAN, CURACAO.
9 – RUGBY LEAGUE – WOODEN SPOON NRL 2026
10 – RUGBY LEAGUE – UK SUPER LEAGUE WINNER
11 – CRICKET – WILL THE EUROPEAN CRICKET CHAMPIONSHIP RETURN?
12 – CRICKET – T20 WORLD CUP – WHO WILL WIN MORE GAMES? NEPAL, ITALY, USA, OMAN, UAE?
13 – AFL – LOSING GRAND FINALIST
14 – MOTOR SPORT – NUMBER OF SAFETY CARS AT BATHURST 1000
15 – GOLF – WINNER OF THE SENIOR BRITISH OPEN
16 – TOUR DE FRANCE – NUMBER OF CYCLISTS KICKED OUT MID-RACE FOR DRUG OFFENCES.
GREGSTRADAMUS 2026 SPORTS TIPPING SELECTIONS
Of course we’ll always put our money where our mouth is, so here are the selections to beat for the 2026 Sports Tipping 16 Contest.
1 – 14
2 – 14
3 – 14 – Fernando Alonso
4 – 14th or 4th
5 – Swindon Town
6 – York
7 – England
8 – Uzbekistan
9 – St George Illawarra
10 – Leigh Leopards
11 – Please
12 – Italy
13 – Collingwood
14 – Seven
15 – Miguel Angel Jiminez aka The Mechanic
16 – Three
Submit your selections via the Comments, and beat the master. If you can.
A new year is here, one full of huge amount of sport waiting to be seen and enjoyed, sport doesn’t watch itself you know. But with so much to watch, how does one prioritise it all? Well allow us to offer up The Gurgler’s Essential 2026 Sporting Calendar.
The Gurgler’s Essential 2026 Sporting Calendar isn’t an exhaustive list, who has time to watch everything and good luck to those that do, but it is our selection of the major events and potential talking points around your workplace and/or dining table.
The Gurgler’s Essential 2026 Sporting Calendar Top Five
If we are forced to choose our top five sporting events to follow for 2025 we will. So here are the five events we won’t miss in 2025, and suggest you don’t either.
MARCH – NRL RESUMES
You don’t know what you have until it’s gone, and that’s certainly the case with no NRL hogging our TV screens on a Thursday through to Sunday.
APRIL – US MASTERS GOLF
If you’re only going to watch one golf tournament a year, may as well make it the most famous with the best players with a few golden oldies thrown, you know Bernard Langer will be there somehow, and loads of scenery. Even if the ghosts of Greg Norman’s Major still lurks.
JUNE – FOOTBALL WORLD CUP
More teams, more games means more World Cup. That suits us fine. It doesn’t matter if Australia do well or not, it’s a sporting treat that usually means minimal sleep and maximum joy. The US-North American timeslot could make watching games slightly less tiring.
SEPTEMBER – EUROPEAN CRICKET CHAMPIONSHIPS
Every year we go on and on about the European Cricket Championships, and there’s a reason why. Because it’s excellent. A T10 competition on a small ground in Spain featuring European countries you had no idea liked cricket. What more do you need. Or want. But it didn’t happen in 2025, and it may not return in 2026, or ever. But if it does, it’s above-the-top-shelf sporting entertainment.
OCTOBER – RUGBY LEAGUE WORLD CUP
International Rugby League has never been in better shape, well Pacific region is, so this year’s Rugby League World Cup should be the most competitive ever, with Australia not guaranteed anything, and the other nations catching up by attracting big NRL names, without weakening New Zealand too much. PNG playing in PNG also doesn’t really get much better.
The Gurgler’s Essential 2026 Sporting Calendar Month by Month
JANUARY / FEBRUARY
The Big Bash fills in the void nicely in January after the Ashes has come and gone. Meanwhile one of the great sporting competitions, well it used to be, the FA Cup has the best two rounds of the competition where the lower division toilers meet the Premier League fat cats. It’s usually good fun until Round 5 and all the big teams are left and they still play their reserve sides.
One of the world’s biggest events bursts into action in February when the Superbowl is on, and like a lot of people we will watch and wonder why we don’t watch more. Then an hour later wonder when it will finish. Betting eases the pain of not beign able to follow it, and so it shall be again. Other less popular football, but no less exciting for us is the UK Super League kicking off for 2026. The best of that league from last season – Hull KR – will play the Brisbane Broncos in the Club World Challenge which should be plenty interesting, as will be which Reece Walsh shows up for the new season.
Oh, and Cricket’s T20 World Cup is on as well, with the usual favourites, and some interesting newcomers – like Italy who foolishly couldn’t keep Joe Burns in their side for the tournament, hurting their chances of winning a game. We’re also interested in what Oman, Nepal and Australia can do.
Football
9/01/2026
FA Cup R3
Other
6/02/2026
Winter Olympics
Cricket
7/02/2026
T20 World Cup starts
NFL
8/02/2026
Super Bowl
Rugby League
12/02/2026
Super League R1
Football
14/02/2026
FA Cup R4
Rugby League
19/02/2026
World Club Challenge
MARCH
Some heavyweight Australian football and motor sports kicks in for March. NRL do it in style in Las Vegas, while the AFL start their season at the MCG. Formula 1 starts their season, and hopefully with a home town podium for once, at a minimum it will probably rain, see lots of crashes and they have new cars and engines and a new Team in Cadillac. Staying at Albert Park, don’t forget about Formula 2 as well. Always worth a watch, sometimes more than F1.
An even more dangerous motor sport category – Moto GP – also starts their season in March too and is a great alternative to F1 in case. Plenty of speed but inside is the World Indoor Athletics.
The Cricket World Cup Final is on in March as a slower alternative.
Moto GP
1/03/2026
Thai GP (Opening Round)
NRL
1/03/2026
Las Vegas R1
AFL
5/03/2026
Round 1
NRL
5/03/2026
Round 1
Cricket
8/03/2026
T20 World Cup Final
Formula 1
8/03/2026
Australian GP (Opening Round)
Formula 2
8/03/2026
Australian GP (Opening Round)
Other
20/03/2026
World Indoor Athletics Champs
Other
25/03/2026
Major League Baseball Begins
APRIL
AFL’s version Magic Round is available for those who like lots of Adelaide and AFL. Even slower is the World Snooker Championships which, like AFL for a non-bandwagon AFL fan sounds like good fun, until about half an hour in.
Golf’s best major is on, and is a great excuse for morning sloth-ing on the lounge. Hopefully with an Australian in the hunt, hopefully named Greg Norman. With or without the Great-est White Shark, it is a magnificent sporting contest.
AFL
9/04/2026
Gather Round
Golf
12/04/2026
US Masters
Snooker
18/04/2026
World Championships
MAY
Some premium football happens in May as the English and European seasons end, hopefully with a title fight, a huge upset, first time winners and promotion for Ipswich Town in no particular order.
More violent and requiring less teeth is some Ice Hockey which is confusing but fun. Similar to the Cheese Rolling available.
Some premium motorsports with the Canadian Grand Prix, which is usually lots of fun, and the Indy 500 which is usually less fun but more prestigious.
Magic Round is on in the NRL and is the best weekend of rugby league around, either there or sloth-ing at home. And State of Origin starts which is a double-edged sword – a great contest but ruins the NRL for two months.
Football
2/05/2026
English Championship GW46 (Final)
NRL
15/05/2026
Magic Round
Other
15/05/2026
Ice Hockey World Championships
Football
16/05/2026
FA Cup Final
Football
20/05/2026
Europa League Final
Formula 1
22/05/2026
Canadian GP
Football
24/05/2026
EPL GW38 (Final)
Motorsports
24/05/2026
Indy 500
Other
25/05/2026
Cheese Rolling
Football
27/05/2026
Europa Conference Final
Rugby League
27/05/2026
State of Origin I
Football
30/05/2026
Champions League Final
JUNE
June will be mainly about a million Football World Cup games, just the way we like it.
But if fast kicking, and low scoring is not your thing, there’s the second State of Origin clash to get involved with.
Plus two premium motor racing events. The Monaco Grand Prix for all the fame and amazement of how they can go so fast around those streets, the race is usually as dull as can be. Over to Indycars, the Road America track is one of the best in the world, and worth watching.
There’s US Open Golf and/or Wimbledon tennis is you want something with less speed and more tantrum.
Formula 1
7/06/2026
Monaco GP
Football
11/06/2026
World Cup – Group Stages starts
Rugby League
17/06/2026
State of Origin II
Golf
21/06/2026
US Open
Motorsports
21/06/2026
Indy – Road America
Football
28/06/2026
World Cup – Knockout starts
Tennis
29/06/2026
Wimbledon
JULY
Rugby League gets interesting in July as the State of Origin finishes which means the NRL returns to normal and the NRLW kicks off. The UK Super League have their Magic Round as a bonus for league fans.
The Football World Cup culminates in the big final, but the 3rd v 4th place playoff is usually a better game.
The Belgian Grand Prix should be watched and enjoyed before we never see it again because it is in the middle east or is a crappy street track. Talking of crappy street tracks, the Tour de France is a great late night filler.
Rugby League
2/07/2026
NRLW Begins
Rugby League
3/07/2026
SL Magic Round
Cycling
4/07/2026
Tour de France
Other
7/07/2026
Running of the Bulls
Rugby League
8/07/2026
State of Origin III
NRL
16/07/2026
Round 20 (Origin stops ruining NRL)
Football
18/07/2026
World Cup – 3rd v 4th Playoff
Football
18/07/2026
World Cup – Final
Formula 1
19/07/2026
Belgian GP
Golf
19/07/2026
The Open
Other
23/07/2026
Commonwealth Games
AUGUST
August looks thin on paper, but is getting into the sharp end of the AFL and NRL seasons. Plus new football seasons kick off, so close to the World Cup finishing.
Football
August 2026
New English & European Seasons Begin
SEPTEMBER
Hopefully September will be about the triumphant return of European Cricket, which we missed badly in 2025.
If that disappointment does happen, there’s at least the AFL Grand Final, which for a lot of fans will be the second or third game they’ve watched in the season.
The only new track of the F1 season arrives in September in Madrid. It doesn’t look great on paper, but change = holiday and all that. Azerbaijan GP is a notable inclusion in our list, but we prefer the F2 cars there, as they usually get up to a lot of trouble.
NRL
3/09/2026
Round 27 (Final Round)
Athletics
13/09/2026
World Championships
Formula 1
13/09/2026
Spanish GP – Madrid
Cricket
20/09/2026
European Cricket Championship
AFL
26/09/2026
Grand Final
Formula 2
27/09/2026
Azerbaijan GP
OCTOBER
Rugby League have their big night of nights, and give themselves a few weeks off before the World Cup starts. With players opting to play for nations on family heritage, it makes this edition the closest yet on paper. Australia are no longer guaranteed of winning the World Cup, when they might have been in previous years.
The greatest day of sport sloth-ing – the Bathurst 1000 – roars into October, justifying a long sit and nap. With beer.
Slightly less dangerous is the Australian Moto GP from Phillip Island.
Rugby League
3/10/2026
SL Grand Final
NRL
4/10/2026
Grand Final
Motorsports
11/10/2026
Bathurst 1000
Rugby League
15/10/2026
World Cup starts
Moto GP
25/10/2026
Australian GP
NOVEMBER / DECEMBER
The Rugby League World Cup comes to an end, as do the Moto GP and F1 seasons, with hopefully the title still on the line. The Brazilian Grand Prix is an early suggestion for catching up, as it either usually rains or has great action. Or both. The end of the sporting season is wrapped up with some World Championship darts.
Worth slightly less than a transfer window, more of a letdown than New Year’s Eve, with more point than an entire pack of Wolves, playing in a formation that was unfashionable and illegal 60 years ago, and yet somehow still getting the full support of the Chairman before they post that sad picture on social media of a lonely corner flag before thanking us for our service, it’s our 2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 20 Express edition while we try and keep up with all the football.
Each gameweek in this 2025-26 Premier League season we offer up a stat filled prediction preview, with some barely interesting stats and visuals, just enough to bluff your way through various tipping competitions or betting shops. But it’s hard at this time of the year to keep, as well as deliver Christmas cheer, so apologies in advance if the barely interesting stats aren’t barely enough, or our predictions are too mediocre.
Barely Interesting Stats – 2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 20 – Stats and Thoughts
Help yourself to a buffet of barely interesting stats, quick one liners and more to help pick a winner.
BEST OF WEEK 20 STATS
Aston Villa are unbeaten in their last nine home games v Nottingham Forest (W6 D3)
Burnley (W2 D4) are unbeaten in their last six trips to Brighton.
Despite being winless in ten games, Bournemouth are third for expected goals over the last ten games, behind only Man City and Arsenal. They are seven goals scored behind their xG.
Since 1996, Spurs’ home record v Sunderland is W15 D1 L1.
Brentford have lost all five games away to current middle eight sides.
2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 20
SATURDAY 12:30pm – ASTON VILLA v NOTTINGHAM FOREST
Stats: The home side has won the last five games between these teams. Aston Villa are unbeaten in their last nine home games v Nottingham Forest (W6 D3) and have lost just once in 16 home games v Nottingham Forest (W9 D6 L1). Forest’s last win at Villa came in 1994. Nottingham Forest are W1 L1 v current top six away, Aston Villa are 3/3 v bottom six teams at home.
Prediction: Aston Villa 3 Nottingham Forest 0
SATURDAY 3pm – BRIGHTON v BURNLEY
Stats: Nine of the last 14 games between Brighton and Burnley have ended in a draw, including the last two fixtures. Burnley (W2 D4) are unbeaten in their last six trips to Brighton. Brighton are W2 D3 L1 v bottom six clubs this season, Burnley are W1 D1 L7 away.
Prediction: Brighton 1 Burnley 1
SATURDAY 3pm – WOLVES v WEST HAM
Stats: West Ham are W2 D1 L1 v current bottom six sides, Wolves have lost all four games. Wolves’ three points from 19 games leaves them on track to do worse than Derby County’s record low points tally of 11 points.
Prediction: Wolves 0 West Ham 1
SATURDAY 5:30pm – BOURNEMOUTH v ARSENAL
Stats: Bournemouth won both games v Arsenal last season. Bournemouth are one of five teams not to beat a current top six side this season. Three of those five teams are in the bottom three. Bournemouth’s record is D3 L3. Arsenal are 5/5 v current bottom six sides. Bournemouth (D5 L5) are winless in ten games. Despite being winless in ten games, Bournemouth are third for expected goals over the last ten games, behind only Man City and Arsenal.
Prediction: Bournemouth 1 Arsenal 2
SUNDAY 12:30pm – LEEDS v MANCHESTER UTD
Stats: Man Utd are unbeaten in their last six games v Leeds (W5 D1). It is also W5 D1 to Man Utd at Leeds over the last six games there too. Leeds are W1 D2 from their last three matches v big six clubs. Man Utd are W2 D4 v current bottom six sides.
Prediction: Leeds 1 Man Utd 1
SUNDAY 3pm – NEWCASTLE v CRYSTAL PALACE
Stats: Newcastle have won the only game at Newcastle between these sides on a Sunday. Newcastle are W2 D1 L3 v middle eight sides, Crystal Palace are W2 D3 L2.
Prediction: Newcastle 2 Crystal Palace 0
SUNDAY 3pm – TOTTENHAM v SUNDERLAND
Stats: Spurs are 2/2 v promoted sides this season. Sunderland are W1 D3 L2 v big six clubs this season. Spurs are unbeaten in the last 14 games v Sunderland with a last loss in 2010. Since 1996, Spurs’ home record v Sunderland is W15 D1 L1. Spurs have the fourth lowest expected goals at home this season, and Sunderland have the third worst expected goals away from home. Sunderland are W1 D1 L1 away to London clubs this season.
Prediction: Tottenham 0 Sunderland 1
SUNDAY 3pm – EVERTON v BRENTFORD
Stats: Everton are unbeaten in their last six games v Brentford (W3 D3) with the two games last season ending up in a draw. Everton are W3 D1 L2 v current middle eight teams, Brentford are W1 D1 L5. Brentford have lost all five games away to current middle eight sides.
Prediction: Everton 2 Brentford 1
SUNDAY 3pm – FULHAM v LIVERPOOL
Stats: Liverpool (D1 L1) failed to beat Fulham last season and have only won one of their last four visits to Fulham (W1 D2 L1). Liverpool are W2 L3 away to London clubs this season. Fulham are winless at home to big six clubs this season (D1 L2).
Prediction: Fulham 0 Liverpool 2
SUNDAY 5:30pm – MANCHESTER CITY v CHELSEA
Stats: Man City are unbeaten in their last eight league games v Chelsea (W6 D2). It’s also W5 D1 at home over the last six games to Chelsea on a Sunday for Man City. It’s also W6 D2 for the last eight games on a Sunday v Chelsea at any ground. Man City are W2 D1 L1 v the current top six sides, Chelsea are W1 D1 L2. At home Man City are 2/2 v current top six sides, while Chelsea have lost their only away game v current top six sides. Man City are W2 D1 L1 v big six clubs this season, and so are Chelsea.
Prediction: Man City 3 Chelsea 1
2025-26 Premier League Predictions Week 20
And here are all the tips together in one place for your convenience.
Aston Villa 3 Nottingham Forest 0
Brighton 1 Burnley 1
Wolves 0 West Ham 1
Bournemouth 1 Arsenal 2
Leeds 1 Man Utd 1
Newcastle 2 Crystal Palace 0
Tottenham 0 Sunderland 1
Everton 2 Brentford 1
Fulham 0 Liverpool 2
Man City 3 Chelsea 1
It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times….Actually no, 2025 sucked in so many different ways, and as ever The Gurgler website have made it their mission to reward the one or many people who contributed the worst to the year, and with all the votes counted, finalised, authorised, stylised and despised, the readers of Gurgler website have decided that People in General are the “winners” of 2025 Jerk of the Year.
Every year since 2016, The Gurgler has picked out the worst people, groups and things from the year that was, full of bias, with some of that unfair, but there’s one thing in common, being a jerk. So it’s really not us, it’s you (to the jerks). We get that list of jerks and hand it over to the few reader that the website has and let a democratic vote of the people crown the 2025 Jerk of the Year.
This year the people have decided that not just one person, but multiple generic people are most deserving of 2025 Jerk of the Year, and it is hard to argue.
That’s not saying any of the nominations wouldn’t have been worthy winners, and you can read all about all of our nominations later, but we opened voting and our readers have decided.
So congratulations, or not really, to People for winning The Gurgler’s 2025 Jerk of the Year.
PEOPLE
Finally, at the heart of an awful 2025 are people. Most people. Awful people. And people being awful. Not just big, awful things. Lots of little awful things, by awful people or people being awful.
2025 Jerk of the Year Nominations Final Voting
Here are the final results for 2025 Jerk of the Year.
Here’s a quick run down of all the nominations and the reasons they are part of this exclusive club.
POLITICS
It would be so easy to nominate one person from politics, and lord knows that certain people would deserve a solo nomination but is it really the person or the game they are in – politics?
The quick answer is f–k no, it’s person for sure, but the long answer and the one we are taking for 2025 Jerk of the Year is that all politics and most politicians as jerks.
There’s a few we like, and some of them make it to our 2025 Person of the Year, but not many. If any. And also too many.
And we really don’t wanna clog this voting process up with hundreds of people.
Politics have become so ferociously one side over another that people are blind to good and bad. Some as mild as Australia’s Albo are the worst thing that has ever happened, but others will tell you that a gentleman in charge of the USA is, and then others will tell you he is the greatest thing to happen ever. Then you work out that most politicians suck anyway.
All of that get tiresome after a while, especially but this time of the year when Jerk of the Year noms need to be finalised. So here is your first 2025 Jerk of the Year Nomination, all politics.
TWITTER AKA X
Following on from the politicians is the airspace that they live and breathe. Or that allows politics to be so awful.
In fairness, most social media probably deserves a nomination for Jerk of the Year, but no one and nothing on earth peddles hate, from both side of politics like Twitter.
It doesn’t help that one of the most unlikeable people on the face of the earth runs the show, who could very well have been up for a personal nomination as well.
Below him are people that use free speech as a cover for being truly awful. The end result is a mix of hate, racism, ignorance, sport clickbait, virtue signaling from big companies and any sponsored content.
And a Jerk of the Year nomination.
NEWS LIMITED ONLINE COMMENTS SECTION
One step lower than Twitter for ignorance is any News Ltd Comments section for Australian based websites.
Spoiler alert – everything is Albo’s fault.
CHANNEL NEIN
For their insistence on Wednesday State of Origin, Sunday night Grand Finals, and Mat Thompson screaming instead of commentating. And for any sports broadcasting of theirs this decade. And before.
SKY F1
The most biased sporting commentary team in any sport in the world. Their obsession with certain drivers has made the pre and post session coverage almost unwatchable, and for some slightly tarred their reputations as superior broadcasters. Although, must exclude Karun Chandhok who has been a shining light. But they got what they wanted, which might make 2026 even worse.
DANICA PATRICK
Talk about getting worse, the Sky F1 coverage did on multiple times in 2025 as Danica Patrick joined in. The worst sporting special comments person in the world. A conversation killer who adds to Sky’s unwatchable-ness when in America. And this is no bias that you have to be an ex-F1 driver or Champion, or have to be from Europe, and is certainly not biased against females as most in the Sky F1 cast are excellent. This is purely that Danica Patrick is the worst motorsport contributor around. She’s the Lance Stroll of F1 punditry.
LANCE STROLL
Lance Stroll is the Lance Stroll of F1 Drivers. With places on the F1 grid are so limited, what a shame one is wasted on this pathetic Daddy’s boy. How someone who appears to outwardly hate being an F1 driver so much is beyond belief as it is one of the greatest jobs in the world alongside beer quality control officer, the guy who designs the patterns of lawn mowing on sports grounds and train driver. The sooner he retires himself the better for everyone. Including the hundreds of better drivers in multiple racing series around the world who deserve an F1 seat more.
FIA PRESIDENT – MOHAMMED BEN SULAYEM
Is as popular in F1 as a McLaren team order or Lance Stroll, the FIA President has ruled F1 miserably being disliked by fans, drivers and teams alike, with his only fans being the people he tells to be. Sacked key people, mostly for no good reason, threatened bans for swearing and wearing jewelry, and for others merely breathing. Sadly looks like he might run unopposed and let his awful reign continue. Tis the year for awful people being in charge.
FIFA PRESIDENT – GIANNI INFANTINO
And we all though Sepp Blatter was the worst sporting president ever. The latest has asked the world to hold many beers. Whereas Blatter appeared to be just plain corrupt, Infantino looks to be next level comedy bad guy boss. The FIFA Peace Prize is among the largest acts of public arse kissing seen in history.
BUZZ ROTHFIELD
An annual inclusion for rugby league’s most pitiful contributor. Disguises his hatred of rugby league through dropping half hints and knowing stuff. Maybe he does, and maybe we just don’t believe it. How someone can do a job for so long in an industry he appears to hate is amazing. The fact he works for News Ltd doesn’t help.
FOSSIE BEAR
The Muppet Show isn’t funny, just a collection of muppets crazily going about things pretending to know what they’re doing. But of all the Muppets in the Muppet Show Fossie Bear is the very worse. A comedian who isn’t funny is about the most useless thing on earth. Not that he doesn’t make you laugh, just not for the reasons he is intending.
JONESES
Problem with Joneses is you only get a small amount of time to enjoy their jerkdom. One minute they’re your best friend, happy to take advantage of your generosity and friendship, the next minute they’ve upgraded and found something better as they always do. Once your usefulness to them is complete, you get nothing but empty death stares for no reason other than they are now better than you. Of course you’ve done nothing wrong, but that doesn’t matter. You no longer matter. The only thing is left to wonder what you’ve ever done wrong and wonder if you were just being used the whole time, and hand them a vote for Jerk of the Year.
BOM
For changing a perfectly good website over in the middle of the traditional severe storm season. And paying $95M to have a website that was worse than the predecessor and not better than a 35 year old single man’s blog about the worst overgrown public footpaths in Sydney. You’d think that the BOM would have been able to forecast when to changeover a website and predict that people wouldn’t prefer it.